What surprised her was that Tucker left her alone the following weeks and all too soon Christmas came, which she, as agreed, went to spend with the outlaws. To her dismay, she saw that a loudmouth outlaw who had been in the saloon once had joined the gang and seemed all too happy to see her again.

"Why, why, look who's coming for a visit. The beautiful saloon girl"

"Told you I'm not a saloon girl"

"You know that fella?" Ben asked

"Guess where we met" she grumbled.

"He hurt you?"

"No. Just been bragging around how he was gonna have his own gang and make the world know his name, starting with making me scream it. He's been explicit about that"

"You see, I didn't expect a present but that's just all the better" he said with a grin and got up, coming towards Cecilia who stepped closer to Ben. Some of the men exchanged an amused look, probably eager to see where this was going and how it would end for Tommy.

"Do you know why she's here, Tommy?" Ben asked, stepping between herself and the man when Tommy reached them and held out a hand for Cecilia to take.

"I can pretty well imagine it" she could almost hear the smirk in his voice "You coming, Missy?"

"Tommy, no one calls her Missy. Only me"

"No problem. You can have her first. You're the boss. Well sweetheart, seems like we gotta wait"

"I don't think so. And you don't call her sweetheart either. Her name's Cecilia Wade"

"She's your sister? You got a sister?"

"Mrs. Wade" Ben specified and Tommy let out a whistle. He didn't even seem bothered or embarrassed as other men that found out who she was.

"Well, she's not that interesting anyways. There are prettier girls"

"So what? Apparently your standards aren't that high if you talk to me and took a liking to me at first"

"Quite the wife you got there. I'm not sure I'd like that loose mouth from my woman"

"Which she ain't. So, if I was you I'd turn around and make sure I don't catch you looking at her the wrong way"

"All good, I meant no harm" he said, raising his hands and doing as he was told

"Many such things happened?" Ben asked her

"What do you mean?"

"Men thinking they've gotta claim what's mine" the words almost made her dizzy and she took hold of his arm.

"Well, only some drunk people that are getting a bit too carried away. Worst that happened was that someone touched my waist. Oh, speaking of that, there's something I'd like to show you" she smiled and took his hand, pulling him away from the men. He chuckled

"Easy there Missy, we got all day" she didn't listen and once the men were out of sight, she looked around to make sure they really were alone before she let go of him, and started undoing the laces of her skirts, which she nowadays bound over her belly for more comfort. To make up for the lost length, she had attached some cloth to the bottom of the skirts. And because she didn't want to put on several layers separately, she had sewn together three layers so she only needed to bind it once. She had also cut her bodice so it only covered her breasts and she had replaced the top part of the dress with a button shirt, buttoning it down as far as she could and leaving the rest open, after all her skirts covered her shift. It had taken some time to find the most fitting clothes but was glad to be rid of the one pieced dress she had made; it had gotten too difficult to put it on in the past weeks as her belly grew and grew. She even had cut her shift that she could just wear the top part that went to her stomach to protect her skin from the rest of the clothing. "What are you doing?"

"You'll see" she said with a smile and he placed a hand on her arm

"We needn't do anything you don't want" she stopped fumbling with the knot and glanced at him

"It's not that I wanted to show you" she said with a chuckle. Once the skirts were loose, she let them drop to the ground, stepping away from them.

"Quite the clothing you got here, Missy"

"I know. That's what most comfortable" she also undid two buttons of the shirt and slightly pushed the lower parts of it away so her belly was better visible.

"And what's it you wanted to show me?"

"Just watch" she giggled and pushed back a strand of her hair. "I'll need to lean onto you a bit or I'll lose my balance"

"You're gonna do some acrobatics on me?"

"Not quite"

"Go on but be careful" she chuckled and moved closer to him, grabbing his jacket with her left hand.

"In the past week and a half I noticed that somehow, the little one reacts to my movements sometimes. Just watch my stomach" she looked down herself, before stretching herself and pretending she had to grab something from a shelf in front of her by raising her free arm. She felt Ben's hand on her side, steading her. "Come on" she muttered, looking down at her stomach before stretching again, even more than the first time. Finally, what she had wanted to achieve happened and when the baby moved, she saw the huge bulge on her stomach "See?" there was a smile on her husband's face and he gently placed a hand over the spot.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, usually not. It's actually pretty nice and cute"

"I see" there was another kick and the bulge appeared at another place "Seems like our little girl is quite strong"

"You're still convinced it's a girl?"

"Well let's say I still hope it" when he moved his hand, goosebumps erupted on her skin "You better get dressed again. Don't want you catching a cold" to her dismay he let go of her, picked up the skirts and handed them to her. Nodding, she took them and started putting them on "Need help?"

"I've been dressing myself for weeks now. I've made it easier for myself with binding them above the stomach, you know. I'm not dumb" when she saw his face, she let out a giggle and knotted the laces "There. All done"

"Good. Now I got something for you"

"You do?" he only took her hand and pulled her back to the others. She felt some of them looking at them with a look that seemed to say 'already done?' Ben sat her down on the ground

"Wait here and close your eyes"

"Is that necessary?"

"Yes, it is" she sighed and closed her eyes anyways. Luckily, Ben was back rather soon "You can open them now" she opened them and saw that he held out a book to her; Moby Dick.

"Another book?" she asked, taking it and browsing through some pages

"I promised to fill your bookshelf, didn't I?"

"Yeah" she smiled "Thanks, by the way for the book you sent me last week"

"How'd you know it was me and not your family?"

"Because my family doesn't call me Missy"

"Fair enough" he chuckled

"But I wouldn't've needed the money"

"Nonsense, money's always good"

"Yeah but it's not like I haven't enough" he placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it

"Use it to spoil yourself. Get a hot bath and other stuff to make you feel good"

"Oi, you there!" the stable master shouted after she had brought Cherry to the box she had rented during her stay in Bisbee "You owe me the stable rent"

"What? I paid you three weeks ago"

"Christmas surcharge" he said with a gleeful smirk.

"Christmas…" she repeated incredulously "You…" she growled "how much?"

"A dollar"

"A whole dollar for one day?"

"Two days"

"That's five time the usual for a night!"

"It's a holiday, we get visitors. My family wants to eat" grumbling, she fumbled her pocket, taking out five dollars

"Here" she hissed "That also covers the rent for whole January"

"Where'd you get that big notes?"

"Tips from the saloon" she lied

"You get five dollars tips?"

"Seems like people find me attractive or like me…" she retorted and turned around "Fucking cutthroat" she muttered as she left the stable, almost bumping into someone when she left it. "I hope you got enough money. The asshole charges 50 pennies a day for Christmas" she told him.

"I'm actually here to buy a new horse"

"Oh, well make sure he won't rip you off. I doubt many of these horses he owns are worth that much"

"This one seems good. But I doubt I could pay for it" he nodded his head at one of the boxes and when she followed his gaze she saw he meant Cherry.

"Actually, she's mine"

"I see. She really is a fine horse. Must've been expensive"

"I can't judge that. She was a present. From my father" he gave a nod. A thought crossed her mind "Do you live close?"

"I've got a small ranch some miles from town. Why do you ask?"

"Well, if you want I could lend her to you"

"Lend her?"

"Well, she's in her box almost all day. I've gotta pay for her and need to walk her around so she's got something to do…. but if you could use her…"

"What if you suddenly need her?"

"I rarely leave town and if I do it's usually decided some days before. I could let you know"

"I doubt I could pay for her"

"Well I hardly know how much she cost. What would you say?"

"Honestly? I think she was $120 or more" she gave a nod.

"How about we say you pay me… $5 per month for six months and after that we see?"

"Are you sure?"

"As I said, she's not really happy here. And if you can use her that's good. Besides, I wouldn't need to pay for her anymore. It's not much but it still adds up. So I kinda win another nine dollars per month. That's good" of course she knew what she did was risky but she was sure she had seen the man before in the saloon and her coworker seemed to know him. And if he did steal Cherry, well then she could still just tell Ben who'd make sure to get her back.

"If you say so" he held out his hand "Daniel Evans"

"Cecilia Dawson" she replied, shaking it.

"You're new in town, I suppose?"

"Yeah. Lived in Tombstone, married to an asshole and I left him some weeks ago because there's no way I'm raising my baby in his vicinity" without waiting for his response, she marched back to the stable keeper and held out her open palm "I just sold my horse. I want my four dollars rent back for January. And the 60 pennies for the remaining days of this year"

"Now easy there" the man said with a smirk. "You can't just do that and now claim your money back. Tell you what, I give you four dollars back"

"$4.50" she insisted, crossing her arms. It wasn't that she needed every cent but she didn't want him to keep her money.

"4.25 and you get the food she's due for that evening" she glanced to the rancher behind her and gave a nod

"Fine" she held out her hand again, receiving the money from him before turning to Cherry "Got good news for you. You're being free again and have someone taking better care of you than this…well whatever he is" she glanced at the keeper of the stables and shrugged "You know, you can just have all her stuff like saddle, reins and so on too. Makes things easiest"

"Fine" Mr. Evans agreed and she led Cherry out of the box, giving her to him with a weird feeling. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you can have her or one of our other horses if you need one" she gave a nod "And I promise to take good care of her" patting her horse's neck, she nodded again and sluggishly took the money he held out to her

"Five dollars?" the stable keeper said "You're not the brightest. That horse's worth much, much more"

"I lend it. He'll pay me five dollars each month"

"Still not the brightest. He'll cheat you for your money. I offer you $50 for her now"

"I'm not selling her to you. I'm not selling her at all" she growled, pocketing her money. With a smile that didn't really reach her eyes, she saw how Mr. Evans let the horse smell his hand "Her name's Cherry, by the way" before the animal left with the rancher, she turned back to Cecilia, letting out a small whinny "Don't you worry, Mr. Evans will take good care of you. You'll get to ride more again, you know? You'll love it" she followed them outside and bid the horse goodbye with a weird feeling in her chest.

"I'll be back in two weeks to pay another five dollars"

"No hurry" she said quietly

"Thank you" he said "With what I've got I probably couldn't've bought a new horse"

"See, now we both won something" he held out his hand and shook it.

On her birthday, she got another she got another small parcel that seemed to be from her family in California but she was sure that it actually was from Ben again because besides the cute bracelet, there was a bundle of money, another 200 dollars in smaller notes. Shaking her head, she searched another hiding place in the small room she lived in, fully knowing she probably was one of the richest people in town and just hoped no one would hear of it.

When she saw Tucker enter the saloon, she bit back a groan. Apparently, he now seemed even more determined to become her husband and 'teach her manners'. So she wasn't quite surprised when he asked how she was able to do all of this alone in her condition after he had gotten his drink.

"In contrast to what you think, women are capable of living by themselves and don't need a husband for fulfilment"

"What if there's no more money left?"

"That won't be the case. I have something on the side"

"That'll be gone like that once the child is born. And then you won't be able to work. At least here" there was a smirk on his face and she put her hands on her hips.

"After a few weeks I surely can work one or two hours again and could take the baby with me. There's slings for that so I can carry it around with me. Besides, if I can't work, I got people that'll help me out"

"Which is what I'm gonna do. All you have to do is say yes"

"First of all, I don't want or need your help. Besides, my current marriage's still valid. And I don't want a fake marriage or something and I certainly don't want you"

"You're making a mistake"

"Oh am I?" she turned around, walked away to wipe one of the tables, although it already was clean. There suddenly was a hand on her arm and she whipped around

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, pointing at her bracelet

"None of your concern. As I said, I got people caring for me"

"I do care"

"What you want is a trophy wife or something. But I'm telling you what, there's a proverb in the bible that goes something like: 'A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but one that gives shame is like rotten bones'. And it would be shame you get from me"

"Oh don't worry, I'll teach you to behave" his hand wandered up and having had enough, she kicked him between the legs, grabbing his wrist and twisting it. He shoved her roughly and although she tried to brace herself against the table, she fell down. "You will pay for this" with a deep growl, she used one of the chairs to get up before grabbing the chair and trying to hit him with it. Around her were cheers and she saw that most of the guests were watching them. To her surprise and amusement, they seemed to be on her side but no one actually thought of helping her. Tucker took hold of her but she dodged his blow and bit him instead before ramming her elbow in his chest. Finally, he got a better hold of her and there was nothing she could do to evade his hit now. She still tried to scratch, bite or hit him but it barely bothered him now. Finally, the saloonkeeper came and with the help of three other guests they managed to separate them.

"I want to know what happened here" she recognized one of the Marshal's deputies. Before she could say a word, Tucker started explaining how she had just attacked him without a reason. When she was asked if that was true she shook her head

"He made advances on me and didn't respect my boundaries. So I defended myself. A woman's surely allowed to do that?" Unfortunately, some other guests now seemed to take Tucker's side and said the first thing they saw as her kicking him in the groin. As if it wasn't enough, also Hollander, Tucker's boss marched into the saloon and after hearing what had occurred, he ordered the deputy to bring her to the Marshal's office "Now come on!" she protested "He started it, you should take him too"

"All he did was righteous"

"If you think that's right you got a serious problem, Mister" in retrospect, spitting at him probably hadn't been the best idea.

It seemed that her spitting convinced deputy Kane to have her arrested anyways and dragged her to the Marshal's office where she could spend a night in the cell, which's cot surely hadn't been made for fat people or someone pregnant. Her protests were ignored and although she probably could have easily picked the lock with her two hairpins that she always wore, she didn't, not wanting to get into even more trouble.

To her relief she was released the following morning and when she asked if there were no more consequences the Marshal only told her to discuss that out with the saloonkeeper. It confused her but she did so anyways and was shocked by his reply

"You can't just throw me out!"

"I can. I warned you that next time you'd go. And now that's the case"

"But… I can't just leave today. I paid my rent until the end of the week already. And I don't even have my horse"

"I'll send a telegram to Tombstone so your husband can come and pick you up"

"No!" she exclaimed, now panicking "He can't know I'm here. Do you know in what kind of trouble I'd be?" the actual trouble, however, would be that people would learn that Grant was actually long dead and that she had left town at the time. This would only bring uncomfortable questions and more problems.

"Not my problem. Seems like you enjoy trouble"

"What's that supposed to mean? But can't we find an agreement? I got money for my train ticket to Colton, I guess. Can't I stay a few days, let the rancher know I need my horse back and then leave"

"You want to go to a train station yourself?"

"I came here from Tombstone on my own. Please. I can't go back there! I-I understand if you say I can't work anymore, just let me stay. I'll be in my room and cause no trouble at all" he was silent for a moment

"Fine. You can stay until Sunday. Make sure your rancher brings that horse and then you piss off the moment you have it" she gave a grim nod.

"Just don't contact my husband"

"I will if you're still here after midnight on Sunday" she gave a nod. This meant she had to make sure, Mr. Evans returned her horse and she somehow had to either let Ben know she'd be at another place or tell him to come and pick her up in a way.

"Okay" she said, letting out a breath of relief "Thank you" the saloonkeeper only growled

"You might wanna do something about your face" with that, he walked away. Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and slowly walked up the steps to her room, first needing a short moment to lie down before she could do anything.