A Good Joke

by Siegward Verathil

After being betrayed and forgotten by the most precious people to him. After getting imprisoned and tortured by those he once called friends. Subaru comes to the big realization that everyone is an imagination and everything is a joke/prank, etc.

7. Revelations and Realizations

-Subaru's old room-

=Earlier that night=

When Beatrice asked the question to Emilia and Rem, they both wanted to explain to them what happened however they couldn't because of the three frightened children being in that room. So they waited until they slept in Frederica's embrace before explaining to them what exactly happened with great difficulty on both of their parts.

Rem had told them that knights came to ask them about Emilia camp's return from the Pleiades Watchtower.. And they also asked about Subaru which made them all, even Emilia, frown at that.

Then she described her battle with them. How she fought them because they wanted to take Subaru away for unknown purposes. Frederica had chided Rem there, telling her she was too rash and reckless, although she agreed in regards to how insolent that one knight was.

Rem carried on. She detailed Ram's appearance and finally Subaru's surprise arrival. Where he somehow lifted all four knights into the air in an unknown way, then slammed them to the ground all the while he was laughing.

Making them all look at one another for any answers. Emilia, Beatrice and Garfiel had a suspicion as to what it was. The ability that he dubbed 'Invisible Providence' was the only answer. A power that Garfiel once experienced. The same power that was the key in defeating Regulus Corneas.

Then came the hardest part to tell for Rem. The three knights who showed up afterwards.

"H-He..l-laughed while dangling the knights in front of them. T-Then one of them attacked him with an Ul Goa. There was too much smoke, I-I thought he was h-hurt or worse!" Rem tore up as she said that. "Rem hoped and prayed he was safe... A-And he was, I don't know how, but Subaru-kun was unharmed. Almost as if he wasn't hit by it."

Most of them looked befuddled by this since Beatrice wasn't anywhere close to him to use, what they thought was, EMM. Meanwhile Beatrice felt more sad and useless at the possibility that Subaru had contracted another Yin spirit. She hugged his pillow even tighter.

Rem began recalling the next part. The most horrific part of her story.

"H-He did something to the knights. I don't know h-how.. but.." Everyone's eyes aside from Emilia were in complete curiosity and in full attention at what Rem was going to say next.

"In a second two knights' legs went flying. The third one's hands followed along. I-I thought it was Neesama, so I looked at her and she had the same reaction as me." She stared at her sister's unconscious form as she said that.

The rest of the room were all pondering how that happened.

"So the b-blood, Garfiel smelled earlier was-" Otto chimed in before being interrupted.

"It was theirs.." Rem said with a haunted look.

"S-Subaru-kun said a speech to them a-about disrespecting him, and a-awarding th-them..." Rem's breath hitched. She didn't want to continue telling the next part.

"H-he.. did something to them..i-it wasn't.. Rem n-never thought Subaru-kun w-would do something like that.." Her face paled at the memory.

"Rem? I could see that you are troubled by sharing this. You do not have to if it's too much." Frederica tried to soothe her and calm her down while she was on the bed being embraced by 3 sleeping girls.

Rem shook her head. "He, Rem doesn't know how, but he made it so their bones began breaking, their bodies were getting crushed. The noises were too much for me, so I turned away.. I k-kept telling Subaru-kun to stop.. B-but he kept laughing...T-then e-everything went dark."

The entire room was quiet as they took in that cruel description and began imagining the scene.

"Knights..."

Everyone focused on the person who said that. Emilia. Her eyes were closed as she said that.

"S-Subaru said that word b-before he jumped.. H-He said 'Knights..' in a reaaaally bad way."

Her voice then became more sad. "Subaru seemed more calm... when I brought him food. W-we even t-talked a-and h-he even c-called me..." Her eyes became misty before she could finish that sentence. Remembering the way she hugged him, and when he said forgiveness isn't impossible.

She regained control after a few seconds. "We heard Rem shouting all of a sudden. T-then came other voices that made S-Subaru go quiet. I-I was going over to see what happened I told S-Subaru to wait. I was about to leave the room when h-he said that.." She said in a weak tone.

"I saw him before he jumped out of the window... H-He looked angry, so, so angry.." She paused as she recalled the look on his face. "I-I've never seen him l-like that."

"I-I didn't know what to do. I hoped, I really, really hoped t-that he wasn't harmed. That he was alright, so I ran towards where the shouts were. B-but w-when I arrived..." Her heartbeat skipped as she remembered the nightmarish scene

"I saw.. Rem and Ram standing still.. I s-saw k-knights in the air...a-and t-the ones that S-Subaru..." Her hands started shaking as she remembered the croaking noises that made her gasp.

"He was.." She wanted to say he was laughing and relishing what he was doing, but couldn't bring herself to say that. She didn't want to think that he was enjoying that extreme act of cruelty.

"I wanted to stop him b-but I couldn't move.. I-I kept telling him t-to stop.. b-but nothing worked.. A-And..after that.. I don't know what happened but S-Subaru turned around and said something to Rem." Rem perked up in curiosity that Subaru said something to her.

"That was the last thing I saw.." Emilia spoke in a quiet tone after she finished the explanation to them. Or rather, she finished telling her part. The others were very disturbed about tonight's high strangeness.

"So the screams we heard tonight..." Frederica's voice tinged in disbelief at the cruelty that she heard of. Not only of that scene, but of the screams they heard earlier. She would never in a million years think that Subaru would do something so atrocious. She could only dread what he did to the remaining knights that their screams were heard from a distance away.

"T-to think Natsuki-san was the source of that.. Od.." Otto was like Frederica. He too couldn't believe it and was disgusted even when Rem and Emilia shared the grisly details. Otto's mind expanded and brought to him important questions. They've yet to figure out why the knights want Subaru, which means what if more knights show up demanding him? What if the knights figure out that Subaru killed their comrades? He would either be imprisoned or executed, and the rest of the Emilia camp might get their share of the blame. Otto really wanted a drink right now and badly to calm himself.

Garfiel stayed silent with a solemn look. He had detected his Captain's scent earlier when he smelled the blood, but he thought it was simply on Emilia or Rem. It's hard to believe that his captain would do something so... Vile... and merciless.

Roswaal was curious, particularly about Subaru's new abilities. He wondered how he obtained them as the last time he saw Subaru he wasn't adept at fighting nor magic. And yet Subaru was able to best not only one, but a small group of knights all at once. Why was he in prison for so long if that's the case? And if he has powers then that means he no longer needs to rely on the Emilia camp. Roswaal's recovery was going too slow, he needed to recover fast and entice Subaru with offers to make sure he stays so he could help him achieve his goal.

Beatrice meanwhile was replaying her dream, the look on his face, the desperation in his voice. Her left hand began scratching her right all the while healing herself again to remove those visions and to alleviate some of the guilt.

Her eyes subconsciously moved towards Clind. Recalling how she healed him from the massive heartattack that he suffered from, wondering if this was an attack on him by her former contractor.

'No. My Subaru would n-never do that. Never, in fact.' She thought to herself. Before remembering the faint smell of the Witch, in the distance, just before the third and loudest scream sounded. The same scent that had once made her fail him in the worst way possible.

She wanted to ask where he was, even though she could easily smell his scent in the air. Beatrice was also likely able to pinpoint his location.

They stayed that way for a few minutes in silence. Pondering many questions, before Rem, Beatrice and Garfiel's noses noticed his scent was getting stronger as a sign of him getting closer to the mansion. Rem and Beatrice could smell the Witch's scent on him, while Garfiel merely recognized his Captain's smell.

Rem immediately got up to head out. Making them confused.

"Cap'n is gettin' close." Garfiel said to alert the others, just before Rem reached the door. Emilia this time got up and headed out.

"Emilia-sama, Rem-san, wait!" Otto's voice called out to them, making both pause. "We don't know what mental state Natsuki-san is in. W-what if he attacks you? What if he's the reason we found you lying unconscious?"

"R-Rem thought about it. And I think Subaru-kun tried to spare me from the sight. Or to prevent me from following him." Rem tried to reason weakly. She had no idea what really happened. Before turning to leave.

Emilia didn't know what to say. She just wanted to see Subaru and make sure he's safe and alive. To reprimand him that what he did was... too much.

"Otto-sama, please go with them. They are not in a state to talk to Subaru-sama and you are the most suited to talk to him." Frederica spoke to Otto with urgency. She turned to Garfiel so he could be the extra security.

"Garfiel, you too. They might ne-"

"B-Betty will go instead, I suppose." Beatrice spoke up all of a sudden. She really just wanted to see Subaru but had no idea what to expect, or if he would even want to talk to her instead of laughing at her.

"Subaru might be injured and I'm the only one capable of healing Betty's...S-Subaru, I suppose." A lie on her part as she knew the blue maid and the half-elf were proficient in the healing arts, not to her level but they were able. A lie that was conceived to convince herself to see Subaru. To apologize to him. To salvage what she hopelessly lost.

Otto followed along. Leaving Garfiel and Frederica to watch over the rest. The sleeping girls, the still unconscious Ram and Clind.. and unfortunately Roswaal, for Garfiel atleast.

---

-Guest room that Subaru is using-

"W-Who is.. I-Inner me?" Emilia and Rem asked simultaneously while staring at Subaru. They heard him say Inner me before and was curious as to who that was. They also smelled the scent of blood, however it was too dark to see. And he was lying on his back away from them. With the light of the moon from the window only shining around his feet.

"Hmmm, since when do our nightly imaginations ask about us?" Pride looked astonished. This never happened before. This Emilia seemed real to him. He tried dismissing the imaginations again however for the third time, it didn't work.

"Anyway, it's me whenever I become boring." He answered vaguely.

"S-Subaru-kun?" Rem asked in confusion at what he was doing and saying.

He inspected his hand. "I'm definitely having some type of malfunction here, happened earlier too with the good, honest knights. Or maybe this is a new prank? Oooh, would be exciting if it is hahaha" He paused his laughter as a big yawn came to him.

"..Guess that means it's time to sleep. Good night." He snapped his fingers instead of waving it this time, a much better method of dismissing the imaginations, however Pride always preferred to just wave his hand. For the fourth time, nothing happened. He just shrugged and closed his eyes. If his nightly imaginations wanted to watch him sleeping then so be it.

Emilia and Rem looked down as they were brought back to the main topic they came here to discuss.. The knights.

"S-Subaru..What did you d-do to..them..?" Emilia asked with a trembling voice.

His eyes woke up at that. "What a good question! As expected from a royal candidate who jokingly teased her, used to be current and now former, knight." He said that last word with heavy disgust.

The moment he said that, Emilia felt her guilt creeping up on her.

"Ahh I really love royal candidates. Not only are they beautiful but they're full of delightful qualities too. So bright, so smart, so intelligent, so clever, so logical! More diligent than slothful in four out of five cases. They're even able to handle good arguments hahaha. Especially when suspicions are roused." Pride chuckled for a few seconds after saying that.

He answered her funny question. "Anyway, we just had a small concert between friends and a small audience." He said vaguely. Noticing her saddened expression.

"No need to hide your excitement with that sad face, Emilia-tan. The concert went really well I'd say! All sorts of singing and fun activities were involved! One of them acted out a last man charge. A very desperate, very passionate, very dramatic charge. And another one danced. Although, that was more my gift for him since he's getting married soon. I'm even invited to officiate the wedding! Ten points if you can guess why I can do that. Hint, its a religious title." He answered her in a teasing manner. Hoping to cheer her up.

The way he said her name, made her do a doubletake. It wasn't the same way he said it earlier. He said it with much more emotion, almost as if it was the old Subaru. It brought a sense of nostalgia and sadness to Emilia at what she has lost and what she longed to regain.

"But I have to say that the best performance goes to my lead vocalist. He was truly TRUUUUUULY~ the best singer of the night." He looked at their anxious and terrified expressions. "It's a shame you guys missed it out, I told many good jokes. I've even set up a small but well-meaning prank hahaha."

They were left speechless. They all looked down and were lost in their own miserable thoughts.

"S-Subaru..w-what you did..i-it's wrong, reaaaally~ wrong. P-please don't do that again.." Emilia tried to tell him what he did was wrong as she remembered that grisly scene. Killing is one thing, but what he did was too cruel.

"Hmmm~? Since when is it wrong to prank brave, honorable, gallant knights?" He asked in a quizzical tone. She didn't answer him, shocked by his nonchalant reply. "I mean they pranked me so many times. I think it's pretty fair if I prank them back. Love must be repaid with love after all." He whispered the last part to himself.

"P-pranks..? S-Subaru no. It's not a prank.." Emilia tried to reason with him.

Pride was confused why the real Emilia would say something like that. Her words sounded exactly like.. He couldn't finish his thoughts as Otto brought him out of it.

"N-N-Natsuki-san, what do you think will happen if they send more knights to investigate?" Otto decided to spring up that possibility that he thought of earlier. He was worried what the implication would be for his friend. He would be imprisoned yet again or likely executed and it won't be just him but likely all of them as well. The Emilia camp would no longer exist.

"Tell you what, it would definitely be the first time the knights investigate something hahahaha! Anyway, I would actually love it if more showed up. Additional singers to join the choir. Additional gifts to send." He grinned at that idea, before pointing out something that Otto didn't mention.

"Besides, from the sounds of it. Rem-rin and Neesama were entertaining them before I chimed in, right? Shouldn't you ask them that, my Otto imagination?"

That question made Otto stay quiet and try to think of another way to reach his friend and make him understand the reality of what could happen. The fact that he thought of him as an imagination didn't help either. Ram had told the adults of the mansion a few days ago, that during the trip home, Subaru thought everyone and everything is an imagination and it broke Otto's heart to hear that.

"Subaru-kun... I-I wanted to kill them for what they d-did to you, yes. And I still do.." Rem answered in a quiet voice. "B-But I n-never th-thought you would kill them l-like that.."

Pride lightly slapped his cheeks to wake himself up before answering her. "Their audition was nice but unfortunately they interrupted me, their host, just as I was going to tell a joke." He shook his head in disapproval. "Interrupting someone who is talking with a fireball to the face is both rude and unprofessional, wouldn't you say?"

"S-Subaru-kun..w-why are.." She whispered inaudibly. Earlier today he had been cordial with her and even gave her a doll. Now he sounded exactly the same to how he was when they were on the trip back from Priestella. She was starting to piece it together.

"N-Natsuki-san..this is serious! Y-you could die if they find out..j-just how excessive you went." Otto warned him, he again tried to make him understand that what he did was wrong. The consequences would be too severe.

Pride stifled a laugh before replying. "Gotta say. You really need to join the clown trope with these jokes you're telling." It was funny that Otto would tell him that. What more could the heroic knights do to him that they haven't already done?

"Subaru." A sad, familiar voice called out to him. The voice of Subaru's former spirit. She was standing there and looking downwards the entire time. She wanted to apologize to him, she wanted to see him desperately. But the moment they opened the door and saw his figure lying there in the darkness, it made her eyes stuck to the ground. She was unable to meet his gaze from how badly she felt. She hoped he wasn't injured as she wanted to heal him, but it sounded like he wasn't.

"If it isn't my precious, adorable Beako. Have you come to sleep with me like you used to? To hear some of the stories of my homeland? To drain my mana perhaps? It has been clogging up after all. Or, or, or. Are you here to tell me a bedtime joke?" His eyes were filled with amusement as he asked her that.

"S-Subaru..I'm sorry, I suppose.." Beatrice's form trembled as she said those words. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing as he reminded her of their time.

His amusement turned into displeasure. A bored frown appeared on his face.

She felt her apology wasn't enough, it could never be enough after all. "Betty is..so, so.. s-s-sor-" She couldn't finish speaking as she was lifted into the air in an instant.

"Shhhh. It's pretty late at night for apologies. I also don't want to hear this from your imagination."

"Subaru/Subaru-kun/Natsuki-san?!" They all exclaimed in emergency at the sudden action. Beatrice looked completely stunned by what's happening.

He stood up and walked closer. The moonlight that came through the broken window finally exposed his bloodied appearance and the multitudes of scars on his upper body. Beatrice let out a loud gasp at his appearance. Emilia covered her mouth with her hands. Otto's eyes were as wide as saucers. Rem looked down as she had seen his scars before during the trip, when she watched over him, and it made her weep several times before at how many there were.

Pride looked at their reactions, their eyes weren't on him. He looked down at himself and realized what they were staring at. "Oh right, I did forget my shirt in the forest when I was doing a little old mud wrestling. That was pretty fun hahaha" He laughed as he rubbed a spot on his temple, where Darius headbutted him.

"Do you want to know how I got these... Scars?" He asked in a sickeningly sweet tone. It made Beatrice feel on edge. It made Rem, Otto and Emilia feel a chill run down their spines.

Their expressions were an enjoyable sight. This was going to be great!

He pointed at the stab marks on his stomach, all the while explaining in excitement. "These ones are from a brave, honorable, gallant knight that always brought me food. He always liked to tease me by dangling the food in front of me. Such good fun. He really liked to say, 'Beg and Bark, Pride. Accept your crimes.' and if I refused, oooh. That's where the fun begins." He had a big cheerful smile at remembering that.

Pointing at a small scar on his upper left torso. "This one here is from a nail, probably a rusty one too, but not to worry! Thankfully, Ferris is a good choice if you don't have access to any Tetanus shots. Truly the best healer of the kingdom. Ahh how I miss him and his questions. He'd always ask, 'Speak, Filthy Cultist. Tell me the cure for Crusch-sama and nyou will be out of here.' always on repeat as he fried my nerves. The smiles he would give me were absolutely adorable. Especially when I'd say, 'I..don't...know..please..'" His eyes had a gleam of nostalgia at remembering his best friend.

He ran his right hand across his left hand's circular scars. "A courageous and virtuous knight once needed a hand. On several occasions that is hahahaha. And yes, if you were curious many knives were used. Some cut slow to truly savor the pain, gorge on the inexplicable feeling of wanting to vomit and indulge on the sensation of almost fainting. Some cut fast to witness the incredible amount of blood that oozed out. A wondrous sight to behold ~ah. It was also immensely useful for painting walls hahaha. He'd also often say, 'The darkness of your soul is visible upon your body, Witch Cultist. You are a true blight upon this world.'" He lifted his dragon cursed right hand as he said that.

Finally he pointed at the largest scars. The slash marks that were around non lethal areas. Some of which went from his chest to his shoulders. "And these ones here are from a good prank by my other best friend, Juli. He was trying to teach me how to wield a sword all the while telling me, 'You have been identified as the Archbishop of Pride by a Great spirit. Stop this charade at once. Stop claiming you are Emilia-sama's knight.'" He ran his hand through his hair in an elegant motion as he quoted his best friend.

"Mmm.." Beatrice tried speaking as the tears rained endlessly from her guilt-ridden eyes.

"Od Laguna..." Otto whispered. He was on the verge of fainting from overhearing the details and seeing the scars.

Rem said nothing but gripped the hem of her skirt intensely. Her hands were shaking and her face marred with angry tears. She knew the scars came from the knights, but she didn't know how. Her earlier fear at the cruel way he killed the knights slightly receded to the back of her mind as more angry thoughts dominated her being.

"Please..please..stop..." Emilia pleaded with him tearfully. She was openly sobbing. Her eyes had became puffy from how much she cried the past few hours.

She could feel that she was losing herself slowly and succumbing to despair and she didn't like that. She had already succumbed to it after she first remembered him, especially after she saw him in that cell, spending the entire trip cursing herself and every feature about her that Subaru once complimented and wishing she was the one hurt in his place. It took her days to pull herself together. She shook her head off as she needed to stay strong. She had to stay strong for Subaru.

Subaru looked over them before bursting out in laughter. "Pfft HahahaHAHAHAHA! You should see the... looks... on your faces! Hahaha! You guys really need to learn how to take a joke! It was just a prank!" This joke was such a good one, they received it so well.

He continued laughing for a few more seconds before shifting his demeanor into a serious tone. "I'm just kidding Emilia-tan, Beako, Rem-rin, my Otto imagination. You don't need to look so depressed all the time, you know?" Then he clutched his heart and spoke in a sad, hurt tone. "Or you'll make this poor tortured soul not laugh anymore."

No one replied to him. They were all drowning in their own misery.

"Hahaha, I am killing it tonight! Both literally and figuratively of course." A smile of happiness was visible on his face.

He gave the tearful Beatrice a teasing pinch on her cheek. "D'awww such a cute little friendmaker you are." Before letting her down and removing the constricting grip. Giving her hair a little ruffling afterwards.

"I'm...sorry...S-Subaru, in fact.. I-I'm sorry.." She whispered weakly.

"You shouldn't apologize." He pouted at her. He disliked how her imagination continued saying sorry instead of doing the usual. "Thanks to your prank I have so SOOOOO~ many wonderful friends now."

"B-Betty's so, so, so sorry, S-Subaru.. Please, please, please f-forgive me, I suppose.."

He sighed in pure satisfaction. "What a wonderful reaction. So exhilarating! I recommend this as an activity to do before sleeping." Although he was disappointed she didn't react to him the way he wanted her to.

He yawned sleepily afterwards while speaking. "Anyway, you guys mind? Tryna sleep here and all, y'know. We should definitely do this again though! I haven't even started on the back and legs hahaha."

"Who are... You..?" Otto gulped as he asked that question, almost subconsciously, as if he was speaking his thoughts out loud. His friend wasn't this cruel to them or anyone else, nor did he laugh like that. He had trouble believing Rem and Emilia before when they told him the horrible things Subaru had done.

He remembered the horrifying screams earlier tonight and now this talk with them. Subaru seemed as if he was taking genuine joy in tormenting them. Taking pleasure in increasing the already heavy guilt they were experiencing it, and intensifying it tenfold. He was staring at Subaru with a haunted look. This wasn't his fault but theirs. They created a monster.

The world stopped for Pride at that question. His mind began replaying the last time he was asked that.

'Who are... You..?'

'Who are... You..?'

'Who are... You..?'

-O-

Priestella.

Eight months ago.

"Who are... You..?"

Emilia had asked a strange man with black hair and scary looking eyes after he called out her name as soon as he entered the City Hall. He seemed very relieved and genuinely happy at seeing her and Beatrice.

"Is this your new type of flirting, Emilia-tan? Forgetting me so easily! My heart can't take this much damage!" He replied to her while exaggeratedly clutching his heart. "I demand a high form of affection to make up for this." He blushed as he said that. Trying to tease her back.

"Umm, I'm sorry if I sound rude but I reaaaally~ don't know who you.. are." She tilted her head and sounded genuinely confused at the boy in front of her. He seemed familiar for some reason but his name escaped her mind. She also couldn't think of the last place she had seen him, nor the last time she interacted with him.

"Hah good one, Emilia. I would say you look pretty cute with your confused expression. I didn't expect you to tease me like that." Subaru nervously laughed at her attempt to tease him. He was surprised at how genuine she seemed in her act.

"I'm not teasing?"

He paused his laughter as he looked at her with confusion as well. Just before he could say anything, Beatrice cut into the conversation. She looked annoyed.

"You." Beatrice called out to him coldly. Her nose was scrunched up in disgust.

"Oh, sorry Beako." He gave her a genuine smile. "I'm really glad to see you two ok. Listen, I ran int-"

"Who are you, I wonder?" Beatrice interrupted him and asked while looking at him with suspicion. "What a repugnant smell you have, I suppose." She added afterwards.

Subaru was taken aback by how unfriendly Beatrice sounded. "Huh, Beatrice?"

He focused again at Emilia's confused expression then back at Beatrice's highly annoyed frown and disgusted face. "What's going on?"

"Emilia, be careful around this one, I suppose. He smells strongly of the Witch." The way she said that made Emilia step back a little from him. Although she was a little unsure, as this person in front of her seemed kind of familiar.

"Wait, what? Guys, what's wrong with you?" He asked in genuine confusion. They were acting as if they didn't know him for some reason. "It's me. Emilia, I'm your one and only knight." He pointed at Emilia. before doing the same to Beatrice. "Beatrice, I'm your contractor."

Emilia looked even more confused "My knight..?" She whispered with a puzzled expression. She had no knight. She was going to ask Garfiel to be her knight after his actions in this city.

While Beatrice stayed silent before her eyes immediately widened with surprise at that.

"Look, anyway, I was saying that I found the bastard that's responsible for Rem's state and Crusch-san's memories. He called himself Lye Batenkaitos, the other Archbishop of Gluttony..." He spoke with seething hatred at the way he taunted him by speaking like Rem and calling him a hero. He had already met one Gluttony before, Roy Alphard, but this one felt more personal. He needed to tell them about him and their encounter. To hunt him down and wake up Rem.

"And I was so.. weak, helpless and useless against him when he.." The sudden realization hit him hard. This was the same as when everyone asked. 'Who's Rem?'. When everyone all of a sudden forgot all about her.

"He ate my name." The answer hit him like a truck. His eyes widened as he looked at Beatrice and Emilia with different perspectives. They didn't know him at all. All the memories they had of him were gone.

Subaru suddenly felt as if something went missing, he realized it was the spirit contract with Beatrice. She had severed it. He looked at Beatrice with genuine shock that she just did that, before noticing several minya crystals that were targeting his direction.

"B-Beatrice?"

"How dare you.." Beatrice spoke to him with great anger.

"Wait, wait, wait! Beatrice, Emilia. You know who I am. Please believe me, I can prov-"

"You smell like an Archbishop of the Cult, In fact! Did you use your hideous Authority to contract Betty against my will?! How dare you do that to me, I suppose! HOW DARE YOU!" Her loud shouting grabbed the attention of several individuals nearby.

"Did you hear that? Did that little girl just say he smells like an Archbishop?"

"That's not a little girl, idiot. Look at her eyes, she's a Great Spirit."

Murmurs were heard around them from the nearby people. Some of them began listening in on the conversation and looked on at Subaru with suspicion.

"Beatrice...please..." Subaru tried to plead with her. The look of extreme anger from Beatrice hurt him more than he could ever expect. He turned towards Emilia in the hopes she'd believe him.

"Emilia..I-It's me..S-Subaru.." He pleaded with her in the hopes she could recognize him. He couldn't accept the fact that Emilia forgot all about him. Wouldn't accept.

"Beatrice are you sure? Are you reaaaally sure? It's just.. he looks like he's in pain." The half-elf stared at him with sympathy as she asked Beatrice that.

"Betty is not mistaken, in fact! His stench is too overpowering. He must be a Sin Archbishop or a high ranking cultist. Don't be fooled by him, Emilia. He is likely using his Authority to beguile us into letting him join, I suppose. He likely wants something with you, just as he used his Authority to contract me without my knowledge, in fact!" She spoke in anger. While glaring daggers into Subaru. Once Beatrice said that, Emilia had a frown on her face.

"W-what? What the hell are you saying, Beatrice?! I'm not with them!" Subaru's head couldn't wrap around what Beatrice was saying. He struggled to find the words to convince them of his identity. That he wasn't what she's accusing him of.

"I'm trying to tell you that Lye Batenkaitos ate my name.. That's why..y-you both don't recognize me.."

"Stop lying, I suppose!"

"I'm not lying! Beatrice, I really am your contractor!" He exclaimed frustratedly at her. He faced Emilia. "Emilia, I'm really your knight!" Before looking down and whispering sadly. "And was hoping to be more than that.."

"What are you thinking?" Emilia asked in a heated tone.

"I don't know who you are, but to try and deceive me right after that horrible man kidnapped me and forced me to try and marry him! What are you thinking?!" She had a furious expression on her face. How dare he act like that to fool her, Emilia thought.

Subaru could feel his heart shatter at that and the way Emilia looked at him. He felt his breathing stop. A deeply hurt look appeared on his face. He took a step towards her out of instincts, trying to reach for her. To explain to her that he is who he is.

"Stop, villain!" Emilia exclaimed while pointing her finger at him. She didn't know why but she felt bad for doing and saying that, he looked as if he was really hurting. She passed it off, thinking it was his powers at play trying to garner sympathy from her.

"E..Em..ilia.." Her name was stuck in his throat and he let it out with difficulty, almost as if it was painful to say it. He felt something rolling down his eyes, a tear of misery. Before anyone could do anything, a new voice chimed in.

"I apologize for the interruption, Emilia-sama, Beatrice-sama. I couldn't help but overhear your shouts. May I ask about this individual whom you yelled was an Archbishop?" Reinhard had arrived and was staring Subaru up and down to get the measure of him. His Divine Protections were showing that he wasn't a threat. However, after the extremely intense fight with Regulus, Reinhard didn't know what to expect.

Subaru let out a big sigh of relief. This would fix it, he thought to himself. Reinhard was the perfect person here as the red haired man could tell lies and had more Divine Protections than there were people in the city.

"I'm so pathetic.. So useless that I can't even prove myself and have to resort to Reinhard to make it work.." Subaru spoke bitterly at himself.

Reinhard meanwhile raised an eyebrow. This is the first time someone that wasn't his lady called him by his name and not by his title.

"This man in front of you is a Sin Archbishop of the Cult." Beatrice said in a disgusted tone. "I suspect of Pride, I suppose. He used his Authority to contract me and is trying to trick-" Beatrice tried to explain what was going on before being interrupted.

"I'm not goddammit! I'm not an Archbishop of Pride or Archbishop of anything! Nor am I tricking anyone!" Subaru denied her words with a frustrated tone.

Subaru stared directly into Reinhard's eyes and tried to explain himself.

"Reinhard, I'm Subaru Natsuki." The strange man introduced himself in a highly depressed tone. Reinhard noted that he had scary eyes, unusual hair, appearance and name. Likely from Gusteko, Reinhard theorized.

Subaru continued talking. "I'm part of the Emilia camp. I'm contracted to Beatrice and I'm also the knight of Emilia and been like that for the past year. I'm not part of the Witch Cult!" He denied with angered eyes.

Reinhard's Divine Protection of Wind Indication detected no lies. However, he couldn't help but feel that he might be getting tricked. One of his divine Protections allowed him to hear the entire accusation of the Great Spirit. That he used his Authority to contract her without her will. Which meant the man in front of him could be using his Authority to make it seem as if he was trustful.

"We know each other too." Subaru said. Making Reinhard have a moment of doubt. He couldn't remember ever meeting him before.

"We met in the Capital where you rescued me from the three assholes that Felt recently hired. You also helped us in fending off Elsa at the loot house, and helped me and Emilia in fighting and killing Regulus. A-after that, we got separated and I ran into Gluttony and he.." He whispered something unintelligible. "T-that's why no one remembers me.. I-it's the truth.." Subaru finished off his explanation and looked at Reinhard with sad eyes.

However, unexpectedly for Subaru. Reinhard didn't say anything.

He was going over how this man knew details of their lives, including personal details of how Reinhard's own lady Felt was nearly killed by the Bowel Hunter. He was even throwing Regulus' name under the carriage to try and gain their trust, when Reinhard knew he had no one helping him besides Emilia during that intense fight.

It was a very confusing situation for Reinhard. He didn't know what to believe.

On one hand he was telling the truth. On the other hand, would he really go against what the Great Spirit was saying? She was also saying that truth in that he smells like an Archbishop of the Cult.

Emilia and Beatrice couldn't believe the amount of lies this man was spewing. They looked at Reinhard as well.

"Reinhard?" Subaru called out to him as his hope began to wane. Reinhard didn't say anything. Doubtful thoughts were running in his mind.

"Y-You believe me, right?" As soon as Subaru said that, Reinhard diverted his gaze. He was still struggling with what to believe.

Emilia and Beatrice immediately understood the meaning. As did the several people that were listening in on the conversation.

"Halt right there, Witch Cultist/Archbishop." Came other voices from behind Subaru. One of which was Julius.

"Julius..?" He said as he recognized that voice.

Subaru turned around and noticed several people were hatefully glaring at him. Some of them were people he instantly recognized. Julius, Wilhelm, Aldebaran, had drawn their weapons. Felix and Ricardo were staring with different expressions on both. Several other individuals that he knew and didn't know. Knights, Fangs of Iron mercenaries. Other fighters from other groups or factions that belonged to Priestella.

All eyes were on him.

"...You..Are referring to me?" Julius asked in genuine surprise and astonishment. This was the first person to recognize him after Julius' fight with the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony alongside Ricardo. No one knew who he was, not his friends, not his lady. Not even his own buds recognized him. So how was it that this man knew him? It must be because of him being a high ranking Witch Cultist. Julius thought to himself. He shamefully had only one plan which was to talk to his friend, Reinhard, in order to recover some parts of his forgotten identity. To prove to everyone that he was a knight of both Lugunica and Anastasia and that he belonged to the Juuklius household. Now he had a second plan. This Archbishop could tell him how to restore his identity.

Before Subaru could reply to Julius. An angry voice yelled out.

"CAPTURE HIM! DON'T LET THE ARCHBISHOP GET AWAY!" Felix roared out. He wasn't going to let this opportunity go to waste. If they capture him he could tell them how to cure his lady. He didn't care if he were going to torture him. He could heal and fix him and repeat the process until he gives up the information.

"I'M NOT AN ARCHBISHOP!" Subaru exclaimed in heavy frustration and annoyance at this nightmare he was living through. The knights and everyone moved closer towards him.

He quickly turned towards Reinhard who didn't speak a word in his defense. A feeling of indescribable betrayal washed over him. Subaru felt the entire world slowing down. "I'm telling the truth... W-Why... Why...?" He spoke before unsheathing a knife. It made them all on edge.

Subaru stared longingly at the knife. He hated dying and always dreaded the feeling of dying. However, this time, for once, dying seemed like the only thing that would grant him solace. He prayed that it would return back to a point before he met that bastard of an Archbishop. To a point where Emilia and Beatrice didn't speak to him or look at him like that. Where everyone else didn't look at him like that.

"Drop the knife and yield peacefully. Haven't you and your cult made everyone suffer enough?" Wilhelm called out to him in disappointment.

For Subaru however, it was another familiar voice that joined the chorus of this ever-growing hellish, nightmare. He steeled his nerves and muttered. "..This..better fix it."

"QUICKLY STOP HIM!" Felix's voice called out in urgency.

Subaru aimed the knife directly at his neck. Attempting to stab himself and quickly end this nightmare, before being intercepted by Julius, Felix and several other knights.

"No.. NO!" Subaru immediately started thrashing around in order to reach for the knife that dropped right next to him. He was within reach before they picked him up.

"NO! LET ME GO! LET ME FIX THIS! LET GO OF ME! DAMMIT! I HAVE TO FIX THIS!" He yelled out as desperate tears began flowing freely from his eyes. He needed to end this nightmare.

"PLEAAAAAAAAAAASE!" He begged in the hopes they would listen to him. All the while continuously thrashing to escape their grips. To reach towards the knife on the ground but to no avail. Someone eventually took the knife away. That little act of Subaru, stole away any sympathy or pity from those who had doubted him being an Archbishop. Reinhard's suspicions were confirmed as well.

Unbeknownst to Subaru, Reinhard was seconds away from stopping everything and saying that he was telling the truth. Before he pulled out the knife and attempted to end his life for some unknown purpose, likely a last ditch attempt to convince everyone. Or he had something up his sleeves.

"Pathetic. Trying to kill yourself just to evade punishment." The knight who held his knife spoke in resentment.

"A cowardly act.."

"Archbishop of Pride, huh? What a coward."

"Bah, take him away!"

"YOU WILL TELL ME THE CURE FOR CRUSCH-SAMA!"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! I'M INNOCENT! I'M NOT WITH THEM! LET ME GO! I'M TELLING THE TRUTH! I'M TELLING THE TRUUUUTH!"

No one believed in him. No one listened to his pleas. Some of the knights considered knocking him out, but decided to parade him around on the way to the Garrison. To show the citizens the frightful Archbishop that was going to be served to justice.

His tearful eyes looked at Emilia and Beatrice as he was getting dragged off. He needed to talk to them, to prove to them who he is.

"Emilia! Beatrice!" He called out to them in pure desperation. They stayed staring at him with hatred. He was getting dragged further and further away from them. "It's me!"

It didn't work. He was almost out of their sight.

"WAIT! EMILIA! BEATRICE! WAAAAAAIT!"

"IT'S ME!" he yelled out again in the hopes that it would magically help them remember him.

"I'M NOT A WITCH CULTIST!" Seeing as his yells proved ineffective he tried one last desperate shout to call out for them with all his strength. "IT'S MEEEE! IT'S SUBARU!"

Nothing worked. He continued shouting and screaming his innocence and his name. Pleading for anyone to believe him, until his throat felt like it was burning him from all the yelling and grunting. The citizens that had been outside were immediately alerted by his shouts. Until one of the knights informed them of his identity. Thus making the citizens look at him with pure disgust and scorn. Some of them began throwing rotten food, or other things at him. Some even spat at him or outright threatened him.

That was when hell started for him. When the grandest joke of all was played on him. When the entire world decided to laugh at him.

-O-

"Rem." Subaru called out to her in an emotionless tone. He could feel his other half was getting increasingly agitated as he was reliving the worst day of their life. Subaru was subconsciously panting furious breaths that heightened and increased with every heartbeat.

He was staring coldly at them, especially at Otto who seemed to tremble in his place and look away.

"Put me to sleep."

His request caught everyone off-guard. They noticed he sounded much more different. Like the one Rem and Emilia interacted with earlier.

"W-what?"

"Put me to sleep, now. I have no time to answer questions. Hurry."

His words made Rem flinch. She was also very puzzled by this sudden request from him. She moved closer to him. Her palm touched the sides of his head and they started to glow in the dark room.

A second later and she felt something dripping on her face, she looked up and saw that Subaru was crying with a grief-stricken face.

"Subaru-kun?"

Before anyone could blink. Rem was launched across the room. Landing hard on her back.

"Ha..."

"Ha...HA..HA.."

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!" Pride laughed out loud after that memory receded. An echoing, slow, maniacal, menacing laugh. It made them, as well as anyone else who heard his laughter, sweat and shudder uncontrollably. Their hair stood from fright.

"Words are a lovely thing. A delightful thing. A thing of beauty. So, my eloquent imagination of Otto, of the words that you could have said, that you should have said, that you must have said, that you have absolutely said. You chose them. Allow me to clap you on your exquisite choice of words." He activated Cor Leonis and slashed at the air towards the one who asked the question that made him remember that.

"Nats...Hk!" Otto tried to say something, when suddenly his right half separated from his left half. The wall behind him split as well and continued onwards. A second after that and Otto's two halves became four, which in another instant became a higher number. The entire mansion shook. Sounds of wood creaking and splitting apart, or stones falling to the ground were heard.

Emilia fell to her knees after registering what just happened.

Rem shouted in fright at the scene. "S-S-Subaru-kun?! W-What did you do!" She looked extremely startled by Otto's state, before turning her frightful gaze towards Subaru.

He was glaring very intensely at Beatrice, with a red glint being visible, all the while tears were also rolling down his face. Something snapped within him.

"I can return by dea-"

His smell entered the noses of Beatrice and Rem. Further enhancing the terrified expression that Rem had.

"I should smell the part now. I asked you this before in the previous res-" His smell increased, he felt a tight grip on his heart but he didn't care in the slightest. "and you let me down. So I'll ask you again."

"Glare at me. Accuse me. Point a minya crystal at me, BEATRICE."

Beatrice was shaking and her body rocked back and forth, seemingly unaware of what was going on around her.

"H-hate Betty, I suppose...K-Kill me, in fact...Betty's sorry..."

He looked at her with utter contempt. She kept denying what he wanted her to do.

"Now listen here. I have had enough of this disrespectful prank of yours where your imagination is acting like you're actually sorry. It is a good joke. It is as if you genuinely regret what you did to me. It sickens me, it makes me disgusted. It makes me bored, unsatisfied, ugly, annoyed! I will not be fooled by this pathetic half-assed display. I want you to go back to the old you. The one who called me out without hesitation. The one who not once listened and decided to yell at mineself, instead of heeding any reasonable statements, sound logic or good arguments. I want to see that version of you in my eyes not this pitiful imagination in front of me. Am I not right in wanting that? Am I not correct? Are my words and wants wrong? No, I think not. I think this charade of yours is a violation of my rights. It's an unimaginable crime you have infringed upon me to the point that it offends my entire existence! Here I am, a generous being, offering you a way of forgiveness and friendship. And here you are, a wretched creature, spitting on the hand that rescued you from your sad, miserable and lonely existence. What shall it be.. Great Spirit?"

While he was lost in his hate-filled speech at Beatrice, the air around him felt colder, immensely colder.

"I...love...you.. I...love...you.. I...love...you."

Someone was also trying to open the door that had frozen.

Pride's eyes and ears were completely focused on Beatrice to hear her answer.

"H-Hate Betty, I suppose...K-Kill me, in fact...Betty's sorry.."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ALRIGHT THEN! I WILL TELL YOU MY VERSION OF A GOOD JOKE INSTEAD! I WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH AND SMILE LIKE NEVER BEFORE!" Pride had an unreadable expression. His eyes were shedding tears, blood started spilling out of his mouth and his lips began forming a menacing, vicious smile.

He summoned a shadow hand that lifted Beatrice into the air. Then he summoned more and more and more shadow hands. All of them were gripping onto every inch of Beatrice who kept repeating the same thing.

He refused to believe the one who relentlessly accused him was actually sorry for that giant prank she did on him. He was inexplicably upset earlier tonight when he told the funny story to Darius. His annoyance was further fueled when the imaginations spawned to see him just as he was about to sleep. Then further when Beatrice first apologized to him, before finally everything reached a boiling point when Otto asked the exact same question that started the entire moment the world decided to laugh at him.

Intense wind destroyed the door a minute or two later. Ram and Garfiel stepped inside. The scene they entered to made them stand on edge and look extremely startled.

Otto, or what remained of him, was split into several equal sides. Beatrice was being torn to shreds piece by piece. Rem was frozen while extending her arm out towards Subaru. Emilia was kneeling on the ground, with her face hidden, and she was chanting. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Meanwhile Subaru was laughing with tears from his eyes and blood from his mouth.

"WHAT TH' FUCK HAPPENED?!" Garfiel shouted in fear and shock. No one responded. Ram focused only on her sister. She moved towards Rem in order to free her and in the hopes she was still alive, before sharing her same fate.

Garfiel went to attack Subaru. He lunged at him with a clawed hand aimed for his head in order to stop him from killing anyone else, his attack didn't phase him. He simply swiped his hand. A second later and Garfiel saw the entire room before he saw his body still standing next to Subaru.

Pride didn't care about anything. He continued laughing. Even when everything froze around him, when his tears froze on his face, when blood from his overuse of Cor Leonis froze in his throat, or when his heart was continuously sending him extreme signals of pain. The last thing he felt was Emilia embracing him.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Weird enough her voice sounded more real than before.

Focusing on his surroundings again, he found himself in a different place. He noticed the scars that covered his torso and arms were all gone. His right hand was no longer covered by the dragon's blood and his body seemed to feel like his old self again.

Emilia was still hugging him with her white and purple outfit changing into a black dress with golden flower decorations. The white hairpin that adorned her beautiful silver hair changed appearance, location and color.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

---

Rem gently cradled Subaru's sleeping body and positioned his head on her lap. All the while torn about why he was crying when he asked her to put him to sleep. She finally realized that Subaru seemed to have two different personalities.

Hiccups and sniffles were heard across the room from several individuals.

"I-Is he..alright?" Emilia asked and hiccupped at the same time. She felt truly awful when she saw him tearing up before falling asleep. She had a sorrowful tone. She, like Rem, was highly perplexed by the sudden question from Subaru and she noticed that he sounded different. She took a step to check on Subaru's condition.

Rem gave her a cold stare that meant to stay away from him.

"R-Rem please... I-I'm really, really, reaaaaally sorry for what happened to Subaru.. H-His forgiveness is what I want more than anything.." Emilia answered her with sincerity. Fresh and dried tears were across her cheeks and her eyes seemed bloodshot. She wished she could undo everything. Her forgetting him is what led him to become like this and she needed to atone for it. She had to atone for it. She wanted to bring the old him back. She wanted to confess to him.

Emilia looked at Subaru's face and noticed he was still tearing up in his sleep which made her heart ache terribly. She took more steps towards him. "I-If you will hurt me for it, t-then so be it." She declared to Rem, as she sat down on the opposite side of her. She wanted to put his head on her lap but instead opted to gently hold his other hand.

Rem relented from how genuine Emilia sounded. She had no strength to fight or argue, she felt very drained emotionally and physically from the events of tonight. She was also more focused on Subaru's new tears as she thought he must be having a nightmare.

A few seconds later Beatrice got up. She looked only at Subaru.

"If Betty doesn't stay back will you kill me, I wonder?" Beatrice asked in a broken tone. She looked and sounded as broken as she felt.

Rem didn't answer her. She couldn't say she wasn't tempted though.

"Beatrice-sama, please don't say that.." Otto answered from the opposite side of the room.

Beatrice moved closer to them, she laid her hands on Subaru and began to drain his mana that clogged up his defective gate. She wanted to do one last good thing for Subaru before meeting her end. She had wanted to mend his scars, however, she couldn't find it in herself to do so. The scars were all reminders of what she has done. Of how she failed him. She may not have done this to him but she shared a major part of the blame and she knew it.

Rem forcefully slapped her hand away, strongly too. But it didn't matter to Beatrice. She didn't feel the pain from Rem's slap, she returned to drain his mana in quietness.

Rem began forming huma crystals and was about to launch it at Beatrice when Otto came to her defense.

"Rem-san, please wait! Beatrice-sama is not attacking or hurting N-Natsuki-san. He has a damaged gate and she is only trying to help him." Otto tried reasoning with her.

It surprised Rem that Subaru has a damaged gate. She remembered that it worked fine when he went against the mabeast pack leader. She didn't focus on those thoughts too much.

"It's because of her, Subaru-kun is like this!" Rem exclaimed. She gave Otto a stern glare that froze him in his place. "Rem doesn't know who you are either until I arrived here. For all Rem knows, you could be responsible as well. All of you are responsible!" Hate and indignation at Subaru's fate were evident in her tone, before her forehead touched Subaru's to hide her face. Her glare replaced with a sad look.

"I-including me b-because I wasn't there to p-protect him.."

Emilia looked down, her heart heavy. Otto shifted his gaze and Beatrice continued doing what she was doing.

Beatrice finally finished draining Subaru's mana in silence. Otto looked at her and saw her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. What he saw wasn't a Great Spirit. It was a little girl who was lamenting her greatest failure.

Beatrice then rested her head on the leg of Subaru and lied on the floor. Hoping she would stay like this forever.

"W-why don't we put him on the bed?" Otto asked to remove some of the tense silence.

"Subaru-kun prefers the floor." Rem answered to quiet everything down until Emilia spoke.

"W-what did he mean by... Inner me?" Emilia asked quietly. That was on her mind ever since he first said it. She knew what it meant but she was looking for confirmation. Hoping that it wasn't what she thought.

Otto was going to answer her, when Rem spoke instead. "Subaru-kun has two personalities. The one that l-laughs and the one that asked me to put him to sleep."

Emilia's hold on his hand tightened as she looked on at him with sadness as her fear was confirmed. It must've been a side-effect of what happened to him.

Silence then dominated the room, Otto sat down and rested his back on the wall. He looked sorrowfully at his former friend.

Rem kept caressing Subaru's hair and grasping his hand. Hoping it could help him from his nightmare.

Beatrice made no sound other than a few hiccups every now and then.

=Some minutes later=

The fatigue of tonight was beginning to hit Emilia on an emotional, mental and physical level. She looked around and noticed everyone was already asleep and were softly snoring or murmuring. Exhaustion had already overtook them. Meanwhile she was still watching over Subaru as sleep wouldn't come to her.

Realizing that she won't be able to sleep, she eyed a nearby cloth, the one he had given to her earlier. She reached for it and slowly drenched it, then used it to wipe away the blood and dirt from Subaru's face and body. She hated that she was afraid of him after what he did tonight, but was coming to the realization that fearing him wouldn't do anything. It was her fault that he was like this.

Wiping the blood that covered around some of his scars proved difficult for her. She wished she could forget hearing his descriptions about them. The knights didn't deserve to die so horribly she thought, but she admitted they did a very bad thing to her beloved...Former... knight. She would tell Otto to send a letter directly for Marcos later, to punish the ones that tortured Subaru.

More letters would be sent out. Specifically for Crusch Karsten and Anastasia Hoshin. A blank letter meant to inform them that any current and future deals and alliances are hereby permanently severed. A declaration of war without any possibility for reconciliation. Their own knights were personally responsible for torturing Subaru. She swore to herself that the next time she sees Julius or Felix she would freeze them on the spot.

'I'm sorry... Subaru..I'm really sorry..' She affirmed to herself once again that she would find a way to make up to him. She noticed he was shivering slightly. No doubt from the cold that came through the broken window.

She grabbed the blanket off the bed. Covered his exposed torso and sat down taking hold of his hand again.

Emilia kissed him on the forehead and whispered softly just before sleep overtook her as well.

"I love you."

---

"Hmmm~ what form of new fun is this? I could swear I was telling jokes just a minute ago." Pride asked in confusion. Where did everyone, beside Emilia that was still hugging him, go? Where was the mansion?

He then started laughing at the new prank he was pulled into now. "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

Calm down, Pride. What Otto said was an accident. I dislike him as much as you do, but don't let vague words that were spoken out of context affect you that much.

His inner self called out to him from within.

Pride said nothing. He continued laughing.

Listen, you're in a highly vulnerable emotional state. If I didn't stop you, we would've spent thousands of times repeating the exact thing. This was on the same level as that time when we lost our mind. By the end we would either completely shut down, or who knows what would happen. That dream scenario of yours proved it. I didn't wanna risk that.

"WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY THOUGH? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" He looked at Emilia and was about to ask her to call him a villain, to point her finger at him, before her voice spoke out.

"Please calm yourself, beloved!"

Pride's laughter paused in an instant once he heard the loveliest and most real voice calling out to him in urgency.

"S..atella-tan?" He asked in a moment of genuine surprise. He finally realized where he was. The Shadow Garden.

This wasn't how he'd usually meet Satella. He would usually only meet her when he's in the void before he resets. His inner self was the one she'd often interact with in their sleep. He had only been to the Shadow Garden a few times, during which he made Satella weep from laughter, before his inner self took control. The most memorable was right after he realized everything was a joke. When he told her his name was Pride.

"Please calm yourself." The voice of Satella spoke with sadness. She was still holding him in a hug. Envy had allowed her to take control in order to calm him down. However, she would still be there to make sure that Subaru knows he is hers to claim.

"I promise you, Gluttony's" She said that name with pure hatred. "effects are removed from you. No one is pranking you, Subaru. I love you. No one is playing a joke on you. I love you. No one is laughing at you, I promise. I reaaaally~ promise. So please heed my words."

"Is this.. Is this another.. prank.." Pride's voice made him seem vulnerable and exhausted. As if the act of speaking itself brought him pain. It broke Satella's heart to hear him sounding like that.

"N-no, I promise."

The silver-haired half-elf slowly broke off the hug. Looking at him in the eyes, she reached out with both of her hands, grabbing the sides of his face, before pulling him in for a kiss. Pride broke down at that.

Once the kiss was over he hugged her around her waist as if she was going to disappear all the while letting out tears of anguish. It surprised and greatly saddened Satella to see this outbreak of emotions from one half of her beloved. The one who always laughed at everything. She started caressing his bare back slowly and lovingly to calm him down.

"I did everything for them.." He growled angrily as the tears increased.

"Who saved Emilia and Felt from Elsa? Me. Who forgave Rem for the way she killed me and spared Ram from intense heartache at the loss of her sister? Me. Who saved all the village children from the mabeasts? Me. Who negotiated to unite the camps all to save Emilia and Arlam? Me. Who gave Wilhelm his revenge and saved all of Crusch's brave, honorable, gallant knights, and Anastasia's mercs against the White Whale? Me. Who stopped the Witch's Cult attack without anyone else dying, killed Petelgeuse and saved the carriages from the firestones? Me." The intensity of his emotional-driven rant increased.

"Who was the only one to remember Rem? Who gave Otto meaning and gave Garfiel a new life goal? Who supported Emilia when Puck left her? Who saved Petra, Frederica and Rem from Elsa and Meili? Who rescued Beatrice from her 400 years of loneliness all the while the mansion was burning? Who saved everyone at Sanctuary from the Rabbit? Who saved the citizens from Sirius? Who managed to heal some of Crusch's cursed blood when even Ferris couldn't? Who spoke to the frightened people of Priestella? Who saved Emilia and the other numbers from Regulus when even Reinhard couldn't?"

"ME! ME! ME! I'M THE ONE WHO DID ALL OF THAT! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!" He yelled at the top of his voice. His eyes looked in every direction as if he was shouting his actions to the entire world.

"I saved them... And where were they when I needed them to save me?" His voice switched into a broken, tired and defeated one.

"I know, beloved.. I-I know.." Satella spoke softly to assure him.

"It's really funny when you think about it, you know. I blamed myself for their deaths, for their suffering. How many times did I die just to see them live on happily in ignorance? Better yet, was I repaid for that? Was... Was I rewarded? Was I thanked? Were my efforts acknowledged? Have I received gratitude?! WAS EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR ALL OF THEM APPRECIATED?!" He said words that he had repeated countless times before to Satella. It didn't matter to him as they felt the right things to say.

"Not at all." He started cackling. His tone morphed into one of genuine amusement.

"Their glares, threats and insults were definitely better than all their meaningless words of thanks and empty promises. I was shown that l was loved in the best way possible hahahaha. And you wanna know the best part is?" A very amused grin crept across his face

"I'm being pranked by them yet again! Beatrice and my other imaginations act completely different and it's so laughable. As if..." He stifled a laugh before continuing. "As if they're actually sorry for what they did to me and it's just so SOOOOOO~ funny! Hilarious! Hysterical! Humorous! Comical! Ahhh I could laugh for days on end!"

"They truly are regretful, I assure you, Subaru. I love you. You're mine. I assure you they are regretful. I will not tell you to forgive them, I don't forgive them for what they did t-to you... But I promise, you won't go back to that horrid place." Satella replied to him in the most caring tone she managed. She used her hands to wipe away his tears.

Pride shook his head in denial and disbelief. "Hmmm~ no I don't believe it. If they're regretful like you say, they wouldn't look at me like that every night."

Satella had no idea how to answer that. She had only wanted to assuage her beloved and not defend them. She had seen their regretful looks, but to her it meant nothing. They did this to him, they deserve every ounce of misery they're feeling. Envy on the other hand had completely enjoyed how he killed them.

"They've even sent brave, honorable, gallant knights just to come for me again."

That was Marcos and the Sages, not them. The Sages are the ones that sent for us and we have no idea what they want or why they want us.

His inner self replied to him.

"Ah true, whatever, I'm too tired. Today was very long, you know?" He broke off the hug from Satella and slowly laid down on the ground. Satella sat down with him and placed his head on her lap. A sigh of exhaustion escaped his lips.

"Although this is great! Lovely to see you again, Satella-tan. That was very therapeutic, very refreshing, very rejuvenating." He spoke with excitement and joy, he looked up at her and noticed some stains from where he cried.

"Pfft hahahaha how embarrassing! How shameless! I've gone all up and dirtied the one piece of clothes you've worn for the last 400 years. Then again, wouldn't be the first time." His words were referencing the times he used to cry to her on a regular basis while she consoled him, before everything became hilarious.

Satella didn't reply. She just ran her fingers through his hair and hummed quietly to settle him down. She didn't care if her dress was dirtied or anything. As long as she could help alleviate some of Subaru's struggles and pains.

"Hey, Satella." An emotionless voice came out of Subaru. One Satella immediately recognized as the more reasonable of the two halves of Subaru.

"Mhm? What is it, my love?"

"You said Gluttony's effects were removed." He spoke with curiosity. He was also wondering how Rem was awake as well. Did that mean someone killed Lye Batenkaitos?

Oooh, that's a good one. Hey, also. You've ruined the moment I was having with Satella-tan. Boo.

Satella immediately understood where he was going with this. She thought about it before answering him. "Reinhard.. Astraea" She said that name with contempt. Subaru frowned deeply at that name.

"Is the one who killed two of the three aspects of Gluttony. Their death restored the names and memories of those they...ate."

"Reinhard has the Authority of Gluttony?" He was surprised at finding that out.

How's that for a good joke! Reinhard of all people has that funny power. No wonder why his imagination is so quiet. He needs a proper gourmet to talk... ~tsu

"No, fret not beloved. Shaula-chan managed to store the Authorities at the moment of their defeat."

Subaru had a look of recognition at that name. During his many dreams that he spent with Satella, she had told him about the many places with familiar names from his world here. From what he remembers. Shaula the Sage, who was in actuality the apprentice of the Sage Flugel, lives in the Pleiades Watchtower. The place near where Satella's seal is located. Apparently the Divine Dragon and the first Sword Saint's spirit resides there as well.

"So Reinhard killed Lye Batenkaitos." He spoke in annoyance. He wanted to be the one to kill Lye Batenkaitos. To rid himself of that nightmare and never again feel the betrayal and hurt. But now, the person who was responsible for everyone forgetting him was killed by one of the main people responsible for all that's happened to him after that. The person who knew he was telling the truth and let it all unfold.

Pride took over. "Of course he did, what do you expect from the overpowered silent warrior trope like Reinhard? I bet you he sent Lye across the moon, instead of the other way around hahaha"

Inner Subaru took over again. "He beat me to that one..." His eyes flashed in anger for a split second before it passed.

"I'm reaaally~ sorry beloved. I abhor the Sword Saint the same as you, but If he hadn't killed Gourmet's aspect then you would still be in that horrid place."

He let out an annoyed sigh. "It is what it is. What about the third one?" He wondered what had happened to the third one. If they were captured by Reinhard. Pride once again took over to tease Satella this time. "Only one other person says 'abhor' in this day and age, Satella-tan."

Satella pouted at being compared to Emilia before answering the question. "She is trapped within the Pleiades Watchtower and is cut off from the outside world."

"Got it, thanks Satella." He had planned to go to that place sooner or later. He'll need to find out more about that place as well. To kill the last Gluttony as well as investigate Satella's prison.

She smiled sadly at that. "Of course."

After a few more moments. Subaru was beginning to fade. A sign of him waking up. It made Satella sad as this was the only way they could interact.

"Hey, Satella-tan." Pride asked her once he realized what's happening.

"Mhm?"

"Do you hate me? For killing knights? My imaginations seemed to think it was a bad thing. I, personally, think it's the most hilarious thing. Inner me agrees too."

Satella immediately shook her head. "N-no. I could never, ever hate you. I love you. I love you. I'm not one to talk a-about if what you did is wrong or right.. You know that." She didn't enjoy what he did, but she knew the knights deserved every ounce of it for torturing her beloved. Envy on the other hand enjoyed it immensely. She wished she was the one to do that.

Pride paused to take in the meaning of her words before it hit him like a punchline. "Ah right, half the continent and all. Pretty good joke hahaha."

Satella looked down in shame but she didn't complain. Pride had joked about her past before, but she never blamed him. Even when her beloved's other half apologized to her after taking control and berated himself for it.

"Hey, Satella-tan." He asked her again. He was fading even more.

"Why does Inner me get to hog you all the time?" He asked with a pout. "Not that I'm... Envious, or anything but it's not fun to be third wheeled by myself."

You know why.

Pride rolled his eyes and added. "The buzzkill version of myself too."

Satella spoke calmly to assure him. "You and your other half are not different people, my love. I don't love 'Inner me' more than I love you.. Subaru." She refused to call him Pride. Adamantly so.

"Hmmm~ yes, bu-" She kissed him to shush him before speaking softly.

"No buts. I love you. I will always, always love you, please remember that. A-and please take care of yourself, don't allow their words to h-hurt you. Kill them all. You're mine."

"I love you too, Satella/Satella-tan." Two voices spoke out in unison from within the same body.

---

-The next day-

Frederica was outside the guest room that Subaru was using. She had been wondering why none of them came down yesterday and assumed the worst. She hoped and prayed that none of them were hurt after going to talk to Subaru.

Opening the door. She was immediately greeted with sleeping figures.

Emilia and Rem were sleeping uncomfortably on their knees, Beatrice was a short distance away from them. And Otto was lying with his back facing the wall. However, the main person who had recently been sleeping in this room was nowhere to be found.

Frederica also noticed their hands were holding something. It was a little hard to discern as the room was quite dark, even if the sunlight has entered it.

She looked at them more carefully to see what they were holding. It appeared to be dolls.

Rem was holding a doll of the old look of Subaru with his black hair and tracksuit.

Emilia was holding a doll that was a mixture of old Subaru's black hair, and his new appearance. Half of the doll wore the tracksuit, the other half was coated with red.

Beatrice was hugging a doll that looked like Subaru's current look, with white hair, and he was covered in red from toe to neck.

It was still too dark to see what Otto was holding.

Frederica was confused and concerned. She looked closely at their faces and noticed the lines of dried tears around Rem, Emilia and Beatrice's faces.

'What happened here? Are they all alright?' Frederica thought to herself. She took a look around to see if there was anything else noteworthy. The wardrobe was opened and it was empty. There were some dirtied clothes on the ground. No signs of a struggle or anything, other than some broken glass shards around from the window.

'Where did Subaru-sama go?' She asked herself as she kept looking for any clues.

She stepped closer to Otto and realized he was holding a note. Taking it out and reading it. Her eyes narrowed in confusion from the words before she read the name.

'Subaru 'Pride' Natsuki?'

---

-The Capital-

"C-C-Captain Gildark, S-sir." A knight came by Marcos' office with urgency. He was panting with heavy labored breaths and his face was pale.

"At ease. What is it?" Marcos asked him with a calm exposition. His eyes were gathering information about the new reports about Priestella's condition. How the disgruntled citizens were disobeying the new curfew orders and how the newly promoted commander was fitting into his role as well as handling the situation. Additional reports about the interrogation of the dishonorable prison knights of Priestella were also on his desk.

"I-It's L-L-Lieutenant V-Varric, Sir.."

The moment he said that name, Marcos' demeanor shifted into curiosity, his eyes left the reports and focused on the knight. "Have they returned from their mission?" He wondered if they brought Subaru Natsuki along. He wondered how he would greet the man falsely accused of being the Sin Archbishop of Pride, whom he signed the order to interrogate.

The knight looked genuinely terrified before speaking. "C-Captain, T-they... Y-Y-You need to w-witness this."

Marcos's curiosity increased but so did his concern. What if instead of bringing Subaru Natsuki they brought his corpse? Taking a big sigh he dropped the file that he held in his hand and stood up.

"Very well. Lead me to them."

He walked a small distance towards a closed off room in the barracks. Wondering why he was led here.

Stepping inside the room, he saw a golden haired knight with a bandaged right hand that was whispering something unintelligibly to himself. "tr...aitor...dark...ha...ha..."

He was hugging a satchel with his uninjured hand, almost as if it was the most precious thing to him. It seemed to be soaking wet with something that stuck onto the knight's clothes, he appeared dirtied as well. Mud coated some of his outfit, and his hair seemed misshapen.

"Darius? Is that you?" He called out the name of the knight. He recognized him. Darius is his name. He's one of the new promising recruits. His father is a minor, yet, charismatic baron who lives in the nobles' district.

Darius slowly looked up at Marcos.

"Where are the rest of your unit? Where is your commanding officer?" Marcos asked with seriousness. He wondered why Darius looked like that. Marcos had a very bad feeling for some reason. Something felt off about all of this, it made his muscles tense.

"He...enjo..yed..their...choir...ha..ha.." Darius slowly presented the satchel towards the traitor. He didn't want to let his friends go but he needed to in order to show the traitor Gildark what happened to them.

"He?" Marcos asked with a perplexed look. He turned his face towards the knight that led him here to explain the meaning of what Darius said and why Darius appeared like that. The knight simply looked more afraid. "T-T-the satchel, S-Sir.."

Marcos moved closer to the satchel to inspect its contents, his feeling of wrongness increasing exponentially with every step. Had he not been in the barracks of the knights, he would've assumed he was on a battlefield.

Reaching the satchel, he opened it and was greeted with a very gruesome sight. Three familiar faces with branches sprouting from empty sockets, where their ears and eyes used to be. Their faces wore an unholy smile.

Marcos was not a man who could easily be surprised, however, this scene made his eyes open wide with shock. He took a moment to compose himself. "What happened..?" He asked but received no answer.

He noticed there were words written on their skin. Taking them out to read them.

The first knight's face. He recognized it as Mathias, a recent young noble recruit from the nobles district. His father, one of the nobles who support Crusch Karsten's candidacy.

Written on his forehead were the words: An offering to the friends who teased me.

And on his cheeks: Good singer. Bards beware. HA HA HA

'What form of mockery is this. To go so far as to profane...the dead. Where is the honor in this?' He grit his teeth and asked himself, before taking out the second head.

This time it was one of the mage cadets. Gideon. His family are involved with the merchants' guild and support Anastasia Hoshin.

Etched on his forehead were the words: An offering to the knights who pranked me.

And on his cheeks: Amazing dancer. Would make a good husband. HA HA HA

Marcos' anger was spiking as he read them. The one who did that was mocking them and their lives after killing them. And what's this about friends and knights? He was wondering if they ran across a bandit group, or perhaps crazed Witch Cultists on the road.

Finally the final head. Varric. Recently promoted into a Knight Lieutenant. He was still young, however capable and adept. Marcos closed his eyes for a moment in pain before proceeding to read the words.

Carved on his forehead was a message directly for Marcos. To Captain Knight and the Sages. Thank you for this gift. They were wonderful offerings.

On his cheeks were further taunts. They all performed well, as expected of virtuous knights. I hope this makes you smile and laugh. I sure did. HA HA HA

'What was their motive by doing this? Revenge? Lunacy? Or blatant disregard for the knights?' He thought to himself, as his mind ran scenarios of who could be behind this. Was this perhaps a declaration of war from any of the other countries? Was it a group of highly disgruntled rebels from Priestella who have found their way here? Witch Cultists? Bandits or any of the other villainous groups that haunt the roads? Far too many suspects.

However, to directly send taunting threats towards the Sages and the second strongest fighter in the kingdom, as well as the commander of the Royal Knights of Lugunica, would be courting either madness or a complete disregard for their life.

A grim expression appeared on his face. "Leave us." He told the knight who led him here. He nodded and went away. He seemed to want to vomit.

Marcos sat the heads down. His eyes filled with regret at their horrible demise, before facing the clearly traumatized golden haired knight.

"Darius. I understand this is difficult but I want you, if you could, to tell me what happened. I sent seven of you. Where are the other three? Who is behind this?"

The knight rubbed his bandaged hand. Remembering the words his friends' killer had said.

'Don't call me Subaru Natsuki when you speak to him. Say the Sin Archbishop of Pride.'

"Sin...Arch..bishop..."

Marcos's eyes narrowed in suspicion. 'So it was a Witch Cultist.' he thought to himself, before Darius spoke a name that put a halt to Marcos' thought process.

"...of Pride..." He finished in a very broken tone.

"Of Pride? But there is no-" Marcos had a moment of confusion before his eyes widened in surprise and disbelief once he realized who Darius meant. "Subaru Natsuki?" He blurted out in disbelief.

He took a few seconds to register before speaking with more clarity.

"You mean to tell me, you found Subaru Natsuki? That he is the one who did this?" He couldn't believe his own words.

"Someone must have aided him. Was it perhaps whomever he shared his story to? The Sages have mentioned that possibility before, and I shared the same sentiment. Or was it the Emilia camp acting out for the sake of their comrade?" Marcos spoke his thoughts aloud. He tried reasoning with himself that someone else was behind this. Subaru Natsuki could not have done this by himself.

Darius overheard that and shook his head at Marcos. "Only..innocent..Sin..Arch..bishop..of Pride...Only him..only him..only him..ha..ha..ha..Only him.." To the great surprise of Marcos.

'Say I will perform an encore to the entire capital.'

"He...will..per..form..an encore...for the...Capital...ha..ha.." His eyes narrowed in anger at Marcos as he waited for the grand opportunity to attack him, his left hand stopped rubbing his right and rested around his sword's sheath.

Marcos' hand was covering his face.

'Why do all of this? Why threaten the Capital? Did seeing the knights send him into rage due to what happened to him in Priestella, or were Varric and his men acting dishonorably? None of this makes sense.' Were all swirling around Marcos' mind.

"What else can you tell me? Did he tell you when he would 'perform' to the Capital?" He needed to know more of this. Something went horribly wrong, that's a given, but what exactly? With each answer Darius gave, two more questions were raised.

'Tell him after midnight without any specific day or date. That'll put him on edge.'

"Encore...on capital...After..midnight..." Darius said and slowly drew out his sword. Watching as Marcos's shock and confusion was increasing even further. "Tonight? He means to attack tonight? This should not be possible."

Just before he could say anything else. Marcos's instincts went on high alert. He immediately craned his head to the right, very narrowly, dodging a slash that aimed to decapitate him. He could see some hair strands escaping him. After recovering from that surprise attack, he looked at his attacker.

Darius was holding his sword in his left hand all the while glaring murderously at him.

Marcos' confusion over the sudden attack was evident on his face. "What has gotten into you, boy! What is the meaning of this?"

'Marcos betrayed all of you.'

"You...betrayed...all of us..." Darius repeated Subaru's own words. Words that were meant for Marcos.

"Explain yourself, Darius. I am not in the mood."

'He's why your friends died one by one.'

"You're...why my fri...ends...died..one by...one.."

He understood that Darius probably blamed him because of the mission. But to attack him directly is madness.

"Get a hold of yourself, I understa-" Marcos tried to settle this emotionally-driven attack from Darius, before stepping aside from yet another attack.

'Your friends died screaming all the while you watched them. Who's fault do you think that is?'

"My friends...died screaming...all the while...I...watched them. Who's...fault do...you think.. that is?" Darius's voice was tinged with hatred.

"Darius. Calm yourself, put down your sword and let us discuss this rationally." He spoke with seriousness.

The broken knight didn't listen to him. Instead he launched without disregard for his own life. Moving erratically while slashing and thrusting, Marcos easily evaded or blocked with his plate gauntlets. Waiting for when Darius would stop attacking so he could try to reason with him.

Darius kept quoting all the while attacking with great fury.

'Mathias was broken.'

"Mathias was..broken.." He slashed with maddened frenzy at Marcos from all angles. An easy to predict pattern. Marcos thought.

'Varric was twisted.'

"Varric..was..twis..ted.." He thrusted without precision. A pattern that was less predictable, however, it couldn't penetrate through Marcos' plate armor and defensive maneuvers.

'Gideon was torn apart.'

"G-Gideon...was..torn..apart.." Darius teared up as he said that. He paused to look at his dead friend.

'Meanwhile Marcos is alive and happy.'

"Meanwhi...le...You're...ALIVE! AND HAPPY! Y-you...YOU BASTARD! DIE! TRAITOR!" Darius shouted in anger. He renewed his vigor and resumed his crazed assault on the traitor. He won't let anyone else die because of the traitor in front of him.

Marcos sighed heavily in order to calm himself down. Darius was mentally and emotionally in a very fragile state from the sound and look of it. Likely broke because all of his comrades died in front of him. There was no reasoning with him like this. He needed to knock him out before he brought further harm to himself or others.

"Forgive me, Darius." He spoke grimly. Then in the blink of an eye, he moved with incredible speed and agility, hitting Darius in the back of his head. He greatly restrained his strength so as not to inflict more damage to the already damaged knight.

Once Darius was subdued. Marcos immediately carried him out of the room and called for healers to tend to him, letting them know that his mental state was very unstable and should be treated with care. He also gave orders to increase the patrols of tonight around the city. Especially after midnight. He made sure to tell them to apprehend anyone that seems suspicious. The knights who heard him were all puzzled but saluted and did as they were ordered.

He returned back to the room and carried the heads alongside the satchel back to his office.

Finally at his office. He sank into his chair with a heavy heart.

Seven knights he had sent. Three of them were missing and likely dead, if Darius' mad ramblings are to be believed. Three were dead and desecrated with their remains in front of Marcos, and one was hopelessly broken.

There was much to be done. How would he tell their families.. that they died in such a barbaric way? How would he tell them who's responsible for this? He wished it was someone else, however, Subaru Natsuki was unfortunately the main suspect.

He knew exactly what would happen should he report this to the Sages. Especially once they hear how Subaru now goes by the moniker.. 'Sin Archbishop of Pride'.. There is one Sage who already wants his death.. and not only him but the death of the lady he serves, or used to serve. This time all of the Sages would jump at the opportunity to kill him. Especially if they know of the threat that he issued towards the Capital.

'If his motive was revenge. Then he wouldn't have left one survivor. And yet to send those odd messages, and pre-warn of an eventual attack. Or to use that.. name.' Marcos kept trying to find an angle for why this had happened.

Subaru Natsuki has all but signed his death warrant with his recent actions. And if push comes to shove the Sages would send the Sword Saint after him. The same Sword Saint who seemed to be distraught and was taking an absence of leave.

He thought back at the dishonor that he read about in Priestella. The fact that he called himself 'Sin Archbishop of Pride', was a taunt to those who accused him. To those that fooled every one including Marcos himself.

"All of this could have been prevented.."

---

-On the road-

A white haired man was riding on top of a black earth dragon that was going on an adventure. Both halves had different destinations in mind. One of them wanted to go straight to the Pleiades Watchtower. The other wanted to visit a friend.

"C'mon! It'll be fun. I know you want to. It'll be a really good prank hahaha. We can even get more fun abilities if we do this right." Pride spoke to his more logical half. Trying to convince him.

*Sigh* It'll just attract unnecessary attention to us, much more than we'll already have thanks to you. Remember, defective gate. We still don't have a way to negate that.

"You know what? Maybe I'd like to experience dying like that for once. It could be fun, joyous, entertaining." Pride smiled in excitement at that prospect. It was always fun to try out new things.

Pride.

Pride sighed in boredom. "Boring, whatever. We'll get to that later. Hey, wait, why didn't we ask Satella-tan to help out?"

Because there is no guarantee that Satella can fix us as much as I trust her abilities. Look, I'll ask her out next time, but for now we need to find a solution for that problem all the while we evade whoever comes after us. It's a long trip for the Watchtower and I don't want to lose progression because we died half the way.

Pride shrugged and didn't reply. He instead patted the dragon he was riding on.

"Wanna know something funny, Patrasche? Both me and Inner me think you're real, hahaha. Even though you were in Priestella." Pride said as he gently patted her head. She made a sound as if she was enjoying the headpat.

"Ahh, such an obedient creature, such a diligent creature. Truly TRUUUUULY~ diligent! No signs of slothfulness at all. As a certain wiseman once said, 'Diligence itself.'" He said in response to her. As his hand continued caressing her head.

Suddenly, something went flying past Subaru's head. Making him and Patrasche pause their advance.

Several individuals came out of the forest and blocked the road. They were all dressed in shabby clothes and were smirking cruelly at Subaru. They had several weapons that were in bad condition. From rusted swords, to poorly made spears, to clubs and hatchets. One of them had a crossbow.

Patrasche immediately started growling. Pride looked greatly amused.

"Cough up all ye've got n' give up yer earth dragon, or the next one goes in yer eye." One of the bandits spoke to him with an ugly, crooked smile.

"That's such a wonderful opening line hahaha. I like it!" Pride laughed in genuine entertainment. This was fun already. He caressed Patrasche's head to calm her down.

"Why the fuck is he laughing?"

"Who cares, look at the way th' lad's dressed. He gots to be a noble's brat."

"Should grab him for ransom then, eh?"

"Heh, yep, then we send his rich folks' a finger or two."

Pride nodded at their conversation. Those were good options that they thought of.

"Gotta say, that's a smart idea." He grabbed their attention with his words. Making them all look at him with confusion.

"How about, instead of a finger, you just cut off the entire hand and use it as a threat in case you don't receive a confession. Woops, I mean payment. That always usually works." He raised his cursed right hand as he said that.

"Hah? Who fuckin' asked ya, prick? Get down now 'n hand us all ye have alongside the dragon. I ain't askin' again." He said in a threatening tone. They all unsheathed their weapons and walked closer to him. Their smiles increased from ear to ear.

Suddenly a thunderous sound of clapping froze them in their tracks. It was almost as if there was an army of people clapping

"Bravo! BRAAAAAVO~ that was an excellent delivery on your joke! I truly felt the threat. It's almost as if you really are a low-born thug, with the brain of scummy meat and the face of a disgusting fly~. I'm really liking the costumes as well. Good performance all around." Pride complimented them for their performance.

His words angered them, making them lose the confusion at the loud noise of clapping.

"Tsk. Kill him. I'm gonna enjoy eatin' yer tongue, prick." Their leader spoke. Making Patrasche fear for her master's life as they all walked threateningly towards them.

Meanwhile Pride was calm and gave them a friendly smile. A crossbow bolt was sent in his direction, but it made no damage to him. It made them think that he was wearing armor underneath his clothes.

One of the bandits attempted to attack him from behind, but instead was met with a tail swipe from Patrasche. Sending him flying several meters away. The growling of Patrasche heightened with aggression, making them temporarily pausing their advance.

The crossbow wielding bandit decided to kill the aggressive earth dragon as she wasn't worth the hassle. He aimed at Patrasche's head and released a bolt.

The bolt moved freely through the wind to reach its intended target. Until it was stopped mid air.

All of them looked extremely surprised by this. Patrasche too felt surprised, as she was ready to sacrifice herself for her master.

Before anyone could ask, the bandits were all lifted into the air.

"Huh?!" "THE HELL'S HAPPENING?!" They all shouted simultaneously. Before feeling a very tight squeeze on them to the point they all gasped to breath and weren't able to talk.

"What a shame." The white haired man spoke to them, disappointment was evident on his face.

"I was willing to let you all participate more freely had you all simply attacked me and not my dear Patrasche. Alas, you did the opposite. You violated her rights without a care. One of you even dirtied her beautiful tail." He spoke sadly as he looked at the bloodied splotch on Patrasche's tail from the bandit she sent flying away.

He dismounted from Patrasche and used a cloth to wipe the blood stain away.

"Oh, well, it's all fine now. It's ok guys, no water under the bridge." He focused his gaze on them. Giving them a bright smile.

"So, since I'm happy and my dear, diligent Patrasche is clean and happy as well. How about I give you all something you will really like? Something that will make you all happy like we are?" Pride offered them. The way he sounded made them all try to beg him to spare their lives.

"Mmm!"

"Mmm"

"I'm sorry, what's that? I apologize, but you're going to have to speak up my wonderful friends. Let your love be heard as I can't really hear from this distance. Thank you, I'm sorry." He spoke apologetically and put his hand on his ear, all the while leaning his head towards them.

Their leader had an angered look. "MMM!" Were all the noises that came from him. It sounded as if he was warning him to let them go.

"No need for that look. Let me instead tell you a joke that will turn that frown upside down!" His smile was reminiscent of his best friend Felix.

...

A cheerful humming tune was heard as Patrasche and her rider continued on their funny adventure. The trees around the road were lovingly adorned with several pieces of meat. That made Subaru sigh in satisfaction before beginning to cheerfully chirp as they two rode off.

In another part of the kingdom. A guilt-stricken Sword Saint that was being consoled by a thieving princess, inexplicably felt a sense of wrongness. That something truly awful is about to happen.

Several other notable individuals, from Princesses to Knights, Mercenaries, Gladiators and Witch Cultists throughout the kingdom began feeling the same. None of them managed to sleep that day.

---

Author's note.

I feel bad for Subaru(Pride). Man's just trying to sleep and he keeps getting his beauty sleep interrupted.

Also, did I bamboozle anyone with that dream scenario?:) At one point it was going to be an actual reset, haha, but I thought this would be much better.

To thor94: You mean this isn't a wholesome fic full of laughter and joyful conversations...? No, but in all seriousness, I tagged it as Friendship/Humor because I was thinking from Pride's pov. Since he's just pranking his good friends lol. But I might actually change the description.

That said, thank you all for reading. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!