Out of Placed Rabbit

"Divine/large beings speaking"

'Divine/large beings thinking'

"Normal talking"

'Normal thinking'

" Action"

Disclaimer:

This work is not me trying to offend someone.

And Naruto isn't mine.

Hiruzen

"I want him removed from teaching!" Haruki said angrily. "What he has done to Naruto yesterday is the last straw of patience I have for him!"

"You know well that we can't do that Haruki. The Village can't just remove an instructor just because one parent complained because of a sparring accident. The Village council will protest if that happens." I tried to explain to this fool, who is brazen enough to raise his voice in the presence of his Kage.

"An accident? Is that what you've been told?! Tell me does this look like an accident to you?!" He put down a scroll on the office desk with a thump.

Picking it up, and unrolling it. what I read in the scroll appalled me. "Multiple head injuries, a broken bone, and internal bleeding. If this is what you call a sparring accident, then you are a fool!"

A Kunai suddenly touched Haruki's neck." Careful sir, you are talking to our Kage. I advised you to think before you speak" An Anbu wearing a monkey mask threatens Haruki.

"That's enough monkey," I ordered her.

"But sir."

"That is enough, Daughter. Return to your post." Clicking her mouth, she bowed and disappeared to her corner. "While I admit; I was wrong, that doesn't mean you can just raise your voice and insult me, Miyatsuko-san." I glared at him. "There are decorums you must follow when in front of a superior."

"Sorry, sir. I'm just angry that the bastard dares to hurt my son." I raised my eyebrow hearing how Haruki talked about Naruto, but chose not to talk about what was on my mind. "The only reason why there are no permanent injuries on Naruto is because of his complication." He clenched his hand into a fist.

"Now, I understand how you are feeling, Haruki, and it seems some of the information I was given was not…"

"True," Haruki said before me.

"Yes, true. There is a lot of, shall we say, stiff competition in the village intelligence and bureaucracy, which made some of the information given to me not factual." Sadly, this is a common occurrence, people like to lie to make themself better or to downplay a problem.

"How is it every year my belief that the position of Hokage means total control, only for me to find that the keys to said control is not enough?" I snorted, aloud hearing Haruki's remark. 'He's frustrated that the job of the transparency committee doesn't include shinobi forces, that jurisdiction falls to the Anbu forces.'

"It's not like I don't have total control, Haruki. I only use it sparingly. A terrifying weapon that's used a lot, ceases to be terrifying when people are used to it." I said with a hint of lament. "I CAN help you, but you need the approval of the academy headmaster and your opposition, the ones who disagree with you to adopt Naruto. Then we can talk."

"The headmaster, I've already had his approval. You would be surprised how many retirement plans can someone choose these days." A smirk can be seen on his face.

'Subtle,' I mused. "And your opposition?"

"You mean the old fossil in the village diet?" His smirk grew wider. "I've always wanted to find an excuse to make them retire. I wonder how they will defend themselves when magically all of their life savings disappear." He made a rainbow gesture with his hand. I laughed aloud seeing his performance.

Wiping the tears from my eyes, I calmed myself. "Why did those fools deposit their money in your bank? On second thought you don't have to explain. I already knew why." The transfer of money is much easier when most of your business partners use one organization to transact money.

This is the first time I've seen that an economy can be used… to defeat… an enemy. 'Hmm. That could work.'

"Say Haruki, have you ever had the plan to expand your business outside of Konoha?" He nods hearing my answer.

"Multiple times sir, but I don't have the manpower and Ninjas to protect all of the banks that I will make outside the village." He said with lament. "So many missed business opportunities." This time it was me who couldn't stop smirking. "What is it, sir?"

"Say we gave you a 30% discount to hire our shinobi when trying to deliver money from vault to vault. Would you accept this proposal Haruki?" Haruki put his chin on his mouth thinking about my proposition.

"What's the catch?" Haruki asked. My smirk grew wider.

"You'll work with us."

Naruto

Taking a deep breath I noted that the air smelled bitter, 'soap, no, medicine. Am I in the hospital?' Trying to open my eyes; greeted by a faint light that grows ever stronger. White ceilings, 'yep, I'm in the hospital.'

Trying to sit straight on my bed, my body felt sore. 'That fuckwit Mizuki crossed the line today. It's not my fault that I know what he's teaching me is bullshit.' I unknowingly gripped the bedsheets.

"So, you're finally awake." I immediately turned my head to the source of the voice. A man wearing a mask suddenly appeared inside my room. "I'll let Miyatsuko-san know that you've awakened." He walked normally to the door and opened it normally. 'Why didn't he just do that the first time?' I think to myself.

Looking at the place where my injuries were supposed to be, my right arm. I expected it to be wrapped with bandages, or other similar functioning contraptions to keep bacteria away from the wound. Instead a perfectly healthy and not injured right arm. Moved it to check if there are internal injuries, but no it's just fine. 'Even to this day, it's a mystery why I heal so fast compared to other people.'

My musing was stopped when the door to my hospital room was opened. Haruna-san stands at the door for a few seconds, her eyes staring at me with concern. With small steps, she pulled out a chair to sit beside me.

'Deja vu.'

"Are you ok, Naruto?" She asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Hot Ramen would make it even better though." I said cheekily

"You and your ramen addiction." A smile formed on her face. "Your injuries, have they been?"

"Yes. My body healed extremely quickly, as usual. Say Haruna-san, could you tell me, I don't know, a reason why…"

"Next time, when it is appropriate and you are older." I sighed hearing the predictable answer. It's been 2 years since I've lived with the Miyatsuko family. They've always thrown hints that they know my real parents and the reason for my whiskers. Yet, every time I asked about something remotely close to both they always redirected the question.

"Is Kaguya alright?" I asked with concern.

"She's fine, she's sleeping in the hospital waiting room for you to wake," Haruna-san answered.

"Pictures?"

"Secured," Haruna-san waved a piece of paper. 'Nice.'

"How long was I knocked unconscious?"

"Surprisingly short, just a few hours after the accident. The other teacher, Iruka, was it? carried you to the hospital." Talking about teachers I want to ask about Mizuki, but it seems Haruna-san already read my mind. "Mizuki has been detained by the Uchiha MPs." Well, that's a relief.

The loud footsteps of someone running in the hospital hallway can be heard inside my room. A pale hand holds the door frame with one hand, revealing a girl with white hair, a horn that is shaped like a bunny, whitening eyes with the core being still pure black, wearing what looks to be her pajamas. I smiled seeing her. "Mama, why didn't you tell me Naruto was already awake!!"

"Well, uh, you were sleeping soundlessly honey." Haruna-san let out a breath of relief, as Kaguya seemed to believe Haruna-san's excuse.

Kaguya being the girl that she is, immediately checks my body for injuries. "It's been healed. Whew, I thought your arm was going to be amputated, Naruto. I swear when I see that bast-"

"Language," Haruna-sam reminded her.

"Sorry. Can Naruto go home now Mama?" Kaguya asked Haruna-san.

"I think he can, the doctor told me there were no serious injuries. How do you feel, Naruto, can you walk?" Both of them turned their heads to me.

Rather than saying my answer I just got up from bed and pulled out a thumbs-up. "I guess he can." Said Kaguya. "Here," She gave me a black shirt with a spiral on the back and orange shorts.

"Thanks." I look at Haruna-san. "Ramen?"

"No, mochi," Kaguya countered.

"Both?" I countered her counter.

"Both," she nodded, agreeing.

Kaguya

Two days after the accident, Mizuki sensei doesn't teach us anymore, being replaced by another chunin who is this time a woman.

Our friend asked what had happened to Naruto and if he was ok. Mainly Sakura, Ino, and Choji. Shikamaru and Sasuke just listened to the conversation and questions that were directed to us.

After a couple of days, things are becoming normal again. The questioning subsided as all of us are focusing on our studies. In three months there is going to be a final semester exam so everyone is focusing on that.

Sometimes Kakashi-san helped us to train in the practical area yet never gave us more advanced techniques because I quote word-to-word "learn the basic first mkay" translated I'm lazy and don't want to teach you two. That left most of our time studying with books sharpening our theoretical aspect.

Speaking of practical and theoretical, Naruto is a freaking beast in practical tests, only Sasuke can keep up with him. In the theoretical test, I completely dominated all of them, with a 100 percent mark every time, Sakura also has the same mark as me with Sasuke, Naruto, and ino competing in the 3rd, 4th and 5th place.

Adding to our growing friend group are Kiba, Hinata, and Shino. I think Hinata has a crush on Naruto. Whatever, I don't care. Shino is a cool guy but his fascination with bugs is a bit morbid. Kiba on the other hand…

"Hey Kaguya, do you want to go on a date?" I groaned 'This is the 5th time this month'

"No Kiba, I just see you as a friend," it's endearing that he is persistent to go on a date with me, it's getting annoying hearing the same question.

"Ahh, is this the legendary no equal yes that woman always says to play hard to get?" He said smugly. 'Don't punch him, don't freaking punch him.'

"No! No means no, you sexist man! Hmph." I look at Naruto who is behind me laughing hysterically. "Naruto help me!"

Laughing his tears away Naruto coughed. "Just listen to her Kiba, you don't want to be punched by her if she is annoyed." He advised Kiba.

Kiba, hearing Naruto's advice, looked at my hand, which is tightened into a fist so hard that a bulge of being can be seen. Seeing the sign of a potential health hazard for him Kiba backed away with cold sweat.

"Thanks for saving Kiba Naruto I was this close to punching him." I made a gesture.

"It's fine, fellow guys have to look after each other after all. Especially against girls." I threw a book at him which he promptly dodged. "That's mean."

"That's the point, Naruto!"

( A/N: For the ladies reading this, just to be clear, I'm a guy. If there are historical inaccuracies in this part, pls don't be mad at me.)

"Tell me again why am I here?" I am surrounded by hairy monsters that compel me to touch them, they don't breathe, and they don't blink. Their eyes are soulless; pure black, just one stare from them will make you recoil in fear or tempt you to hug it. 'Truly the teddy bear is a dangerous beast.'

"Because it's girls' night!" Ino said with enthusiasm. "We haven't had a girls' night ever! This is a good time to get to know each other."

Sakura nodded, agreeing with Ino. "Besides, we can talk about things that boys should never know."

"U-Uhm, how does one do a girls' night?" A white eye and blue-haired girl is talking with a stutter.

(A/N: Again im a guy I don't know what's in a girls' night. This is what I think about what's in a girl's night.)

"I'm glad you asked Hinata!" Too much enthusiasm. "I don't know, but this magazine does!" She pulled out your usual teen magazine that the bookstore sells. 'That's underwhelming.'

"Wine test- yeah no, uhh, cooking together." That could work. "Yeah no mom gonna be mad at me if I mess the kitchen." Or not.

10 minutes later

"Pillow fight?" I suggested

""No,"" Ino and Sakura said at the same time.

"It's obvious who's going to win that fight." I, Sakura, and Ino just stare at the sleepy Hyuga heiress. Seemingly sensing our staring, Hinata perked up, confused by our action.

"D-Did I do something wrong?" She asked nervously, 'Adorable.' I mused.

"Darn it, let's just ask each other what kind of boys we like!!" Sakura said, frustrated by our indecisiveness. Not wanting to see another outburst, I and Ino nod at each other in understanding.

"No/Yes." We both stare at each other again, surprised by each other's answers.

"Huh?/huh?" It seems there was a disconnection. That just left Hinata to break the tie.

Hinata seems not to want to talk about her crush, but the stare that promised pain is given to Hinata from Sakura.' I swear I saw her eyes glow red.'

"Uhh sure," said Hinata, not wanting to face Sakura's furry.

"Now let's talk about boys," said Sakura. 'How did a girls' night make us talk about boys?' I think to myself.

"Before we talk about the obvious which one is better, let's start from the bottom," Ino suggests.

"But who is at the bottom?" I blurted and quickly realized my mistake, 'oh no.'

40 minutes later

The battle is bloody and long with people not wanting to be wrong. Why can't humanity just have one cohesive voice? If it is that hard I will make them have one! 'What am I thinking about?'

"Ok, we're done?" Sakura asked.

"Y-yes," said Hinata.

"So we agree that Shino is last for obvious bugs-related problems. Kiba is the second last because of immaturity. Next Shika is lazy; moving on. Choji is cute. Now the most contentious part; Sasuke And Naruto." Ino recapping the result of our useless discussion.

"Naruto is better than Sasuke," Hinata said with no stuttering and full of confidence. 'What the frick.' It seems I was not alone in being confused by Hinata's change in demeanor.

"I mean Naruto is fine, but Sasuke has this cool mysterious vibe around him." Sakura countered.

"I agree," Ino supported Sakura. "What about you Kaguya?"

"I don't see Naruto that way, he's like my brother Ino." The notion of me dating Naruto makes me want to puke.

"Well can you tell us one of Naruto's good traits? You're closer to him than all of us." Well, I guess that's harmless enough.

"What Naruto is good at, let me think." He's not clean and dense in social situations, and even if he doesn't clean himself he's a perfectionist that is borderline annoying. 'This is harder than I thought.'

"He's good at bookkeeping." I finally found a good trait Naruto has.

"Huh," I can see the look of confusion on Ino. "Why can't it be a normal answer?" Ino Lamented

"Oh, you guys don't know what bookkeeping is. It's essentially a way of…."

And I rambled

Zetsu

The Akatsuki are forming nicely. Konan and Pain are searching for new members to join fledgling organizations. While Obito is controlling Kiri through the 4th Mizukage. Our- no, my organization hasn't even been formed and we've already captured a Jinchuriki.

This is the closest I had been to reviving my mother since the disaster that was eight years ago. And since then there's been something strange that is happening inside Konoha. A beam of white light that is too strong for mortal men to create a beam so strong it probably acts as a beacon for the rest of the galaxy.

I have been trying to find information about that light, but haven't found anything. Konoha doesn't have a strong Shinobi that can make such a powerful beam of light, even the Hokage can't do it.

The strange thing is the chakra that the beam of light exudes feels so familiar. A-As if my mother itself is there with me.

This mystery is tearing my mind apart. I don't have any proper explanation of how this event could happen. One of my theories is that the beam of light is just an amalgamation of the Chakra I collected years ago. Not dissipating, Instead forming back because of reasons I don't know yet and just shooting itself out of the atmosphere escaping the heavier chakra that is tainted by humanity as if pure water refused to mix with oil.

But that explanation is flimsy at best. In the end, I don't have any explanation for why such a familiar and powerful beam of light can appear.

"Zetsu," the booming voice of Obito called and stopped me from thinking about the answer.

"What Is it?" I was annoyed by him.

"I need intel about the Uchihas. I think it's about time we remove them from the equation." He ordered me as if he is superior to me in every way.

"Killing them? All of them?" That puts a wrench in my plans. If the Akatsuki fails and the Uchiha clan is no more, which means this will be the last chance I have to revive her if Obito kills all the Uchiha Clan." That doesn't sound wise," I advise Obito.

"You want me to spare some of them? How kind of you Zetsu. But no, I will kill all of them. They are the only clan that can realistically thwart our Plan, The other being the Uzumaki and The Senju." He said. "I don't think we have to worry about them."

"It's not about kindness, but pragmatism. If we kill all of the members of that clan we will lose a supply of fresh Sharingan." I tried to steer him away from fully killing that pain in the arse clan. "The Uchiha is an asset we can use; it would be useless if they are dead."

"Excellent point; but I don't think we need thousands upon thousands of supplies of Sharingan when project Tsukinome is done."

"You're doing this because of revenge. I thought you were better than that, Obito." He doesn't react. "Even after all this time, you are still this petty. I'm disappointed that you are still a boy that likes to cry." he clenched his hand. 'Good it's working.'

"You have never changed." With speed, he dashed at me, forming a fist in his hand and striking me with it. With the sound of the air being ripped apart, the punch landed on my chest, making my body fall to the ground, with the earth in my back cracked like a spider's web, sending pieces of stone the size of a Human head flying in the air.

"Fine, if you really want me to spare that trash of a clan you'll have it." His feet stepped on my chest. "Now go be the servant you were made to be… Zetsu" I am this close to reviving my mother and I can finally be done with taking orders from this fool.

But for now, "it will be done," I'll just bite my time as usual. I glare at him while I sink into the ground. His red eyes glared back.

'Fool.'

Sasuke

'This is boring,' I half-heartedly listened to Iruka Sensei's lecture. "The difference between macro and microeconomics can be…" letting a tired sigh I look out the window to see an upperclassman training in the yard. Running circles in the field sweat and wet shirts can be seen from above. 'It's noon and these guys are running. That is one big eyebrow.' I see a strange boy running faster than the rest of the pact.

"...macroeconomics is more concerned about large-scale industrial or commercial economic output." Naruto and Kaguya seem to listen intently to Iruka's sensei lecture. 'Of course, they do. Bunch of nerds,' I chuckled.

Iruka sensei stopped his lecture as the sound of the school bell could be heard. "alright class that is for today. Remember to read pages 56-78 on how the geography of Fire country."

A chorus of, "hai, sensei" can be heard.

"Well, then see you tomorrow. Class leader," that's Kaguya cue.

"Stand up," all of the students follow Kaguya's order. "Give greetings to our teachers."

Another chorus, "Thank you Iruka and Kiyoshi sensei." Iruka and Kiyoshi left the class and the class started to pack their things. As I was about to leave, Naruto blocked my way.

"Hey, Sasuke, want to hang out with us," he leaned his head toward Shikamaru, Choji, and Kiba. "The girls are doing a girl's Night so we thought why don't we do the same? Well, me and Kiba thought of it."

"Thanks for the gesture Naruto; but I am busy," Niisan promised to train me today.

"C'mon Sasuke, it will be fun," he said to me. "Aunt Mikoto told us that she wanted you to socialize with people more!"

Are my social skills that bad that my mother thinks that I lack knowledge of how to? 'No, I can talk to people, I just don't want to talk with them.' I justified my lack of social interaction.

"No means no Naruto, can you please move? I want to go home." Realizing that he is blocking my way, he muttered an apology and moved his body so that I could go home. 'Why couldn't they take a hint to leave me alone?'

The sun is about to set. on my left is a large water reservoir where people are fishing right now. One Oldman, probably a war veteran, pulled out a fish showing it off to his Friends. The friend let out a cry of dismay, "seems like there's a competition." I muttered to myself.

'I wonder what Niisan's teaching me today.' As I walk my way toward the Uchiha clan district. I let myself calm down a bit. Relaxing my shoulder from the stiffness to keep it straight, " remember Sasuke, an Uchiha exudes strength, even when he is walking." fathers voice can be heard in my mind. I kept my back straight again.

'Remember the clan.' "Remember the clan," I said while remembering my father's lesson to me. 'And always remember to control yourself.'

That last part is hard to follow when you are annoyed by girls calling your name in a drunken obsession. Seriously, there are much better guys than me. Naruto, for example, why can't they just fangirling at him, not me?!!! Instead, he had all his free time, fangirl free. 'It should have been ME, not HIM!!' I lamented over my fate.

"Being an Uchiha is tiresome, if this is this hard being a second born I can't imagine how tiresome it is for Niisan." He's been under a lot of stress lately, with him completely hitting the boiling point yesterday. 'It's rare to see Niisan this angry."

" Why don't you just say it?!" His cold voice still made me shiver. Never have I seen Niisan being that angry before, let alone directing that anger to Father. "Shisui-nii why did you kill yourself."

As night fell to the world, the gate of the Uchiha clan compound could be seen from afar. 'That's weird, where are the guards? Is that a kunai?'

Entering, at first, there was only silence, only the light of the moon shining on the place, no people, no sound, just silence. Broken glass, windows, and furniture littered the ground. Broken by Kunai, shuriken, and blunt objects.

When I went to the first left turn, I saw blood splattered across the ground. My eyes went wide and my pupils dilated. The blood flowing from the left like a small stream after rain moves its way to the center of my vision. It's fresh; the smell of Iron is heavy.

Grabbing the wall before peaking the left turn, my eyes still focused on the blood that is still flowing. The blood started to hit the base of my feet, soaking my sandal with it. My breath drew heavily only to smell a stench so vile I almost puked myself, and adrenaline rushed through my veins. Preparing myself, the hand that is grabbing the corner of the wall slowly looks to my left.

Mangled bodies, necks twisted, slash injuries that are so deep I can see bones, and organs that are exposed to the elements. Faces being covered in blood or drowned by it. Across the street in every house I only see death. My feet buckle and fall into the ground as my clothing absorbs the puddle of blood in my back.

Not even babies are spared as an Uchiha clan member in the center is protected by her husband whose face is drowned in blood, holding a headless child.

'Father, Mother. I have to move; they are in danger.' I want to move yet my body is paralyzed by the site that is in front of me. 'Move, fuck! MOVE!!' With a jump-like step, I ran to my house. Each time I took a step more bodies could be seen laying on the ground, on the windows, and laying on the wall. Each time I took a step the smell grew stronger and tears started to flow. 'Everyone is dead.'

The walls of my house are clean, there is no blood and there are no bodies. As I ran through the hallway I called for my parents and brother. "FATHER, MOTHER, ITACHI!!" I Screamed.

The sound of something falling can be heard in the main family room. I stopped running and took a slow walk to it. arriving at the sliding door I hesitate to open it as more blood can be smelled. Are they dead? ' NO. Father and brother are strong, even Mother is a former Jonin. But why do I hesitate?!'

Steeling myself, I opened the door with force.

My knee started to bend. Itachi is standing behind the bodies of my dead parents, his blade soaked in blood and eyes shut. Itachi would never do this! "Niisan who did this?"

A kunai grazed my cheeks, my brot-no, that MONSTER! opened his eyes to reveal a shuriken like Sharingan.

"Hello, little brother."

I have a question: how do you ask a girl to go on a date?

Whatever

Here, have some Omake.

Shipping

Kaguya

"Ok, now that Kaguya is done doing his rant, let us move to the next subject." I buried my face in a pillow in embarrassment. 'I forgot to control myself.'

"Next is boy shipping?" Huh

"Huh?" I and Sakura said at the same time.

"It says here we talk about which boys are compatible as a yaoi couple." Holy fuck what magazine is that?!

"What kind of Magazine is that Ino!" Sakura and I seemed to have the same thought.

"What I've found is in my mom's old book stuff in my attic." That explained so much and opened so many more questions.

"Did your mom just let you read that magazine?!" I asked Ino.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that, it's just a magazine," what the hell is wrong with this household?!

"Excuse me, what is yaoi," Hinata asked sweetly. I, Ino, and Sakura stared at Hinata. 'Oh, right, Hinata is a sheltered girl.'

"Oh my sweet summer child," before I could explain to him, Sakura already beat me to it. 'Well, that's not good, Sakura doesn't know when to take a break.' My hunch proved to be true as Hinata's face became redder and redder the longer Sakura explained it.

"Oh," that's the only thing Hinata can say after hearing Sakura's explanation.

"Yeah, oh," we've destroyed a girl's innocence.

"So, who do you guys think would be a great couple in our friend group?" Ino asked.

"Is that even a question," I said with confidence.

"NaruSasu all the way baby! Whoo!"