This is how things work

Derek couldn't feel comfortable since the summer Addison was in Seattle with the girls. He didn't want to live there alone. He had been in D.C. for a week but didn't go to New York because he had to join an important meeting in Seattle and couldn't stay on the east coast for so long. When he arrived in his office in the morning, Patricia was already there waiting with a pile of papers for him to read and sign.

He hated it, so he decided not to sign any papers for that day. He just wanted to be the surgeon he used to be. After the meeting with the board, he went to the E.R. to help in any case Amelia could give him, but she apparently wasn't able to help him with that.

"Why you don't let me help you?" he asked after following his sister over the hallways, asking her to let him help with the case of a man that had arrived some hours ago.

"Because I can deal with it, Derek. I don't need your help."

"I should take half the time to solve it."

"I don't care! I'm the head of the department, I give the cases, if you wanna stay here, I'm your boss."

He raised his eyebrows crossing his eyes.

"Technically I'm the chief of the whole department of surgery, so…"

"But you can't interfere in my department, so if you wanna work here…"

"Amy, you're an excellent surgeon. You have nothing to prove," he said.

"Oh, I know I don't. And I don't wanna prove anything to you."

"But if you try and fight me over the leadership of this department, you will lose. My resume will kick your resume's ass. I am better than you."

"Oh, my God, Derek! There is no limit to your narcissist!"

"I have been playing this game longer than you at a much higher level. That is all there is to it."

"Fuck you!" she shouted with her face near his.

She walked away and April Kepner left the patient's room handing a tablet.

"Where did she go?" the resident asked.

"What's going on?" Derek asked.

"Her post-op CTs are back."

"Let me see them," he asked trying to take the tablet from the young doctor.

"I... Shouldn't."

"Kepner, I am the chief of surgery!"

She looked around, not knowing what to do. He wasn't the attendant on the case, but he really was the chief of surgery and his eyes on her were making some pressure she couldn't deal with. She let him read the tests.

"So, we repaired the subdural bleed, but..."

"That is a big aneurysm," the neurosurgeon said pointing to the image.

"Yeah. It's grown. It's way bigger than it was before."

She just nodded.

"Okay, book an OR and scrub in," he asked giving her the device again.

"Okay. I'll let her know."

"No, with me, Kepner. You're gonna scrub in with me."

"It's her patient."

"Well, it just got too big for her," he said walking away. "Tell her or don't tell her. Just prep an O.R. and scrub in."

April was confused.

Addison had a tiring day. Girls had no school, she had to attend some presentations at university, so they had to go with her. They sat next to her all the time, almost sleeping because they couldn't understand what those people were talking about. Sometimes Addison made some comments about what people were saying, but they still couldn't understand anything.

"Mommy, I wanna go to the bathroom," Ella said

"Wait a minute, sweetie," she whispered.

"But I wanna peeeee..."

"We're finishing here. Mommy can't leave now."

Isabella sat on her place and put a hand between her legs.

"Take your hand off there..." Addison scolded in a whisper.

Ella obeyed and crossed her legs. After a professor finish his speech, another one started to speak and Addison took some notes.

"Mommy, he forgot to give his position..." Katie commented.

"It's confidential. He's gonna write it on a piece of paper and give it to her. The last one will say if she was approved or not."

"Huh..."

"Now, mommy... I will wet my paaaants," Ella said.

"Honey, mommy can't leave… Hold a minute."

"But my peepee doesn't wanna wait!"

"Don't say…"

"Mommyyyy…"

Addison pursed her lips.

"Katie, listen, you'll leave the room, and find a toilet in the first hall on right, okay? Go with your sister 'cause I can't leave now."

"Turn the right in the first hall?"

"Yeah. Anything you text me. Wash your hands, okay?" she said to Ella.

"Okay."

She was worried, looking at them leaving the auditorium catching everybody's attention. Addison was embarrassed and some people giggled about it.

"I'm sorry."

The presentation continued and she was worried the girls didn't come back. When it finally finished, she talked to some people but left to check on them. They were playing on the grass.

"Katherine! Isabella!" she called.

They ran to their mother.

"Why didn't you come back? I was worried."

"We were waiting for you to leave," Katie said.

"But I haven't asked you to wait for me to leave."

"But your job is so boring."

Addison squinted at her younger daughter.

"Come on… You're hungry?"

"Mm-hmm..."

"There's a fast food…"

"No. We're gonna eat something in the cocktail mom has to participate," she said cutting her older daughter off. "Be polite."

Girls rolled their eyes and went to their mother to a room next to the auditorium, where the same people were talking, eating, and drinking. Addison greeted some people, then went to a counter to get something for them to eat, but they didn't like that kind of food.

"Only this?" Isabella asked looking at a small sandwich.

Stella Mills, who had taken a glass of champagne, giggled, letting Addison ashamed.

"Mommy, I wanna soda too..." the girl said pointing to the woman's champagne flute.

Stella laughed.

"Honey, it's not soda. It's something children can't drink."

"They're cute..." Stella commented. "And pretty."

"Thank you, dr. Mills."

"So? Did you come to visit mom's job?"

"She forced us to," Ella answered.

"Isabella!" Addison scolded. "I'm sorry, dr. Mills."

"You're a doctor too?" Katie asked.

"I am. You? Are gonna be a doctor when you grow old?"

"Maybe, but I don't know what kind of doctor 'cause my father is a brain doctor, and my mother is a baby doctor. So, I don't know what I have to be."

"You may be neither of them. You can be another thing doctor. There are many specialties for you to choose."

"What if I worked at NASA? I should be an alien doctor, shouldn't I?"

Stella giggled and so did Addison.

"She's fixed with NASA," she explained.

"What's your specialty? I've known baby's doctors, children's, brains', women's, beauty's, bones', hearts'…"

"Wow! You know all of this?"

"My parents have doctor friends only."

"I get it. I'm a doctor like your mom. We take care of the organs babies live in before they are born, then we take care of the baby or their mothers."

"Stomach doctor!" Ella said making everybody laugh.

"But babies do live in the stomach. They grew in another organ," said Katie.

"Belly!" Ella said.

"Uterus, honey," Addison said.

"This!" Katie exclaimed.

"Yeah... We are uterus doctors," said Stella.

"Mommy, can we go to Mc? 'Cause I'm still hungry," Ella whined.

"Okay, let's go... But just if you promise you're gonna let work at the lab," Addison said. "Bye, dr. Mills. Say bye."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Then she left with them and took them to the nearest McDonald's, where they were happier.

Amelia didn't believe it when she looked for her patient and was informed Derek had taken him to the O.R. some hours ago. She ran there to check on it.

"I don't believe you!" she shouted.

"Suction," Derek asked. "Amy, you don't have to scrub in," he said not taking his eyes from what he was doing.

"I want to be sterile when I come over there and stick that bovie in your eye."

The staff was surprised to see someone talking to him like that. Amelia approached.

"Kepner, move! You're on my list."

"You have put me in an awful position," the resident said moving away.

Amelia took her place. Derek was closing the surgery.

"Amy, he never had a good prognosis. I went endovascularly to fix the aneurysm, but he started re-bleeding."

"I can see that. Fibrin glue," she asked the nurse.

"Now, why is that suction not working? Okay, can somebody change the canister?"

"Amy..."

"I see it. 100 of Mannitol, 125 of Solu-Medrol."

"He's gonna herniate," Derek said.

"He may not have time to herniate! He's in florid DIC. He's not clotting anymore," she said throwing what she had.

Derek had to agree.

"Knox, check his pupils," he asked.

The intern moved and obeyed.

"Fixed and dilated. There's no gag reflex."

"He's probably already brain-dead," Derek said.

Amelia squinted at her brother and left the O.R. taking her scrub off. She went to her office to end the patient's case.

"35-year-old male admitted status post-ejection from a motorcycle without a helmet. Head C.T. revealed..."

Derek got into there and closed the door.

"What?" she asked after de paused the record.

"I'll do the op note if you want."

"You gonna steal this part, too?"

"Stealing?" he asked. "No, I'm just trying to help. This guy was a lost cause."

"Whether he was or wasn't, he was my responsibility, and I didn't need your help, and I don't need any more of your bullying."

"Bullying? I am trying to be nice."

"Look, I GET IT!" she shouted standing up. "You were king of the whole department, right hand to the president, you get everything you want, whenever you want, but for some reason, life is showing you that the universe doesn't work on your terms. Your position doesn't let you work at O.R. like before, Addison didn't change her life because you want to, and now you can't have everything you want, so you need to be king of the hospital and kick around the peons. Are you feeling better now, Derek?"

"I don't what you're talking about."

"You're unable to give up on what you want to stay with people you love. You say you love Addie, you made everything for her to take you back, but at the first chance you've chosen your position over her."

"You of all people should understand that this was the future of neuroscience. I mean, this is what we would've dreamt of in med school if we'd thought it was even possible that it could be done."

"Then you shouldn't have given it up!" she shouted. "But the least you can do is stop stomping around here punishing people for a choice you made."

"I didn't make a choice!" he said. "Addison made a choice and backed me into a corner. She said I should stay, it wasn't a problem, but because I love my daughters and I love my wife, I'm feeling like this for being here. I wish I could find a way. A way that's good for both of us, but there's no way. I want the best for her. I want her to get everything she had dreamed of, and I want to be the chief of surgery... I know it won't happen in New York."

Amelia shook her head.

"This is as high as I go. I have never taken a step back in my career ever. Come back to New York means stepping back. It would be terrible for me and I don't want to blame Addison for it."

"You're even worst than we could imagine."

"She is forcing me to let my position to stay with her."

"She is not, Derek. She was not the one who asked you for a second chance. You were."

"I've never felt like this before, and I feel like she forced me."

"Okay, well, I know the feeling, because it is happening to me right now."

"Amy, I'm not trying..."

"No, I know that you're not trying to, but you are, Derek! You are doing it to me. And Addison... You say that you want her to have everything, but not if it interferes with you having everything. And it is not fair! You've chosen to be here! Just assume it."

"I am trying," he said.

"I know. I know. We're all trying. It's just, no one wants to give up... Or give in. And no one should. Right?"

Derek was silent for a few minutes, then left his sister's office.

When he went back to his office, the pile of papers was still there, so he sat on his chair, then stared at the ceiling thinking about what he had done. There's a picture of him with Addison and the girls in a frame on his table.

"You say you love Addie, you made everything for her to take you back, but at the first chance you've chosen your position over her."

He couldn't stop thinking about what Amelia had said, so he straightened on the chair and turned the computer on to watch Addison's TED talk. He was avoiding watching it. For some reason, watching Addison's ascension wasn't comfortable for him. It made him remember his Alzheimer's clinical trial. He thought he would be the one getting that success, winning a Harper Avery if he didn't lose this trial.

"...And we have to deal with it daily since the day we chose our specialty, 'cause people in our job, in other specialties, of course, think neonatal or ped is like 'mini surgery', but in truth…"

After 40 minutes of watching it, Derek smiled proudly. He wished he could applaud her, then turned the computer off and pulled the phone on his desk to call her.

"Hello. This is mommy's phone..." he listened to a thin voice across the line.

"Ella? It's daddy."

"DADDY!" the girl shouted.

"Hi, honey. How are you?"

"Daddy, why you don't call anymore?"

"I was busy in D.C., baby, but now I am in Seattle."

"Huh... I thought you have another family and other daughters."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Why you were thinking about it?"

"I watched a movie."

"Honey, movies are not real."

"I know."

"Where's your mom? I wanna talk to her..."

"Ella? With who you're talking on my phone?" Addison asked getting into the living room.

Naomi followed her.

"It is daddy... He wanna talk to you."

Addison took her cell phone and sat next to her daughter.

"Addie..."

"Hi, honey. Are you okay?"

"Yes..."

"Katie wanna talk to you, but she is sleeping right now..."

"Mommy, my belly is aching," Ella said sitting on her mother's lap. "I think it's my uterus."

Derek was surprised by his daughter's comment.

"What about her uterus, Addie?" Derek asked worriedly.

"Nothing... Honey, it's not your uterus. It's because you had a lot of milkshakes. I've told you it's gonna happen, haven't I?" Addison said. "They come with me to Columbia and listened about the uterus," she explained. "Now she thinks her stomach and uterus are the same."

"Huh... And how're things there?"

"We're fine. Nai is saying hi."

"Oh! I've arrived in Seattle today."

"You were in D.C.?" she asked.

"Mm-hmm... But I couldn't go to New York. I'm sorry."

"No... It's okay. I get it. But you're fine? How's been your day?"

"I had surgery… Just one."

Addison giggled.

"Great."

"And you've taken the girls to your job...?" he didn't want to talk about the surgery.

"Yeah. They didn't have classes, so I had to take them with me. It was a disaster, Derek, you can't imagine."

"Mommy, don't gossip!" Ella whispered.

Addison opened her mouth frowning. Naomi just laughed.

"Did you hear, Derek?"

Derek laughed.

"Can you imagine us watching a thesis presentation, Ella wanting to pee right in the time I couldn't leave the room?"

"Huh?"

"Then I asked Katie to take her to the toilet, and they leave the room running while everybody was concentrating on the thesis."

He giggled again when imagined his daughters running. They were silent for a moment.

"Addie... Your clinical trial... You've named it The Montgomery Method?" he asked.

"I did."

"Why?"

She was surprised by the question.

"It's my name, isn't it?"

"Yeah..." he said embarrassed.

"Why?" she asked.

"Nothing... It's just… Audacious."

"Do you think?"

"I do. Mostly because it's your first clinical trial with…"

"Derek, don't do it. You would do the same. I remember you told me you would name your Alzheimer's clinical trial as…"

"The Montgomery-Shepherd Method. You've helped me a lot…"

"You wanted me to name mine as The Montgomery-Shepherd Method?" she asked ironically.

"Of course not, Addie! It makes no sense."

"I agree."

He was silent.

"Addie... I... I won't be in D.C., so I can't go to Boston to be with you at the Harper Avery awards…"

She had been sad by his news but was silent for a few seconds. It had taken so long for him to convince her to use the invitations for the event and now he didn't want to go anymore?

"Okay," she said surprising him.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Sure. It's okay. I'm going there just for… You know... I won't win it anyways."

"Don't think like this. I wish you get it."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Well, now I gotta hung up 'cause there's a lot of papers to sign, but I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye."

They hung up and Addison turned to Naomi, who had already noticed something was happening.

"Ella, come here… Mommy will put you in bed. Can you wait a minute, Nai?"

"Sure."

"But I'm not tired," the girl argued.

"Yes, you are. Come on."

"What daddy said?"

"Tomorrow he will call you again. Let's sleep now."

"Will you read Harry Potter?"

"No. Tonight is Katie's day and she's sleeping already, so save me from Harry Potter tonight," Addison said. "I'll put you in bed and you're gonna sleep like Sleepy Beauty, okay?"

"But you have to tell me a story."

"Please, Isabella..."

She went upstairs with her daughter and put her into bed.

"Did she sleep?" Naomi asked when she returned to the living room.

"Not yet, so she can come there any moment... Can you see Katie don't bother ever? She has always been that independent, but Isabella... Derek hates when she wants to sleep with us."

Naomi giggled.

"I can imagine why he hates."

"No. It's not just about that, but she's spacious, you know."

"Talking about Derek..." said Naomi.

"Oh! Talking about Derek..." Addison said reminding. "He called to tell me he can't go with me to the Harper Avery award."

"Really?!"

"Yeah..."

Naomi squinted and looked at her friend.

"So? What are you thinking?" asked.

Addison pursed her lips and got straightened on the couch, crossing her legs. She was ashamed of what she was thinking.

"I wish he could be there with me."

"Of course you wish. Why haven't you asked him?

"No... I don't…"

"Why not?"

"Because he must be busy this day. What's another reason for him not coming?"

Naomi remained silent. She knew her friend enough to know she wasn't meaning any of these.

"Nai, do you think... He… Can be…" she sighed. "He asked me why I named it as The Montgomery Method, said it was audacious…"

"He said that?"

"He did. Do you think he's jealous? Do you think he won't go because he is jealous 'cause I was nominated to Harper Avery and he doesn't?"

"Jealous is not the word, you know? In this case, he envies you!" Naomi was honest.

"No..."

"Addie! You know this is the truth, but you don't wanna accept it. I know. It's hard, but it's the truth. Derek has always been that competitive, you don't have to think about it."

"Of course not, but... How many times I hadn't done things because I had to went with him to dinners he thought were important?"

"But also... He can be swamped."

"I hope he is."

"Mommy, you will let me alone in bed..." Ella said going downstairs.

Addison rolled her eyes, making Naomi laughs.

"Well, I'll go home, Addie. See you tomorrow."

"Okay. Good night."

"Good night."

"You wanna come with me to the Harper Avery award?"

"Once you're calling me…"

They laughed.

After Naomi left, Addison went upstairs with Ella again, but that time they went to her bedroom.

"Mommy, I'll dress this to match you," Ella said showing up in her mother's bedroom wearing a red dress.

Addison was in front of a mirror. She had rented an apartment to take them with her to Boston on the Harper Avery Award day. She couldn't leave them in New York, and also couldn't take them to the event, so she took them to Boston and was planning to leave them with Maya while going to the Award with Naomi.

"Honey, take this dress out 'cause I've told you can't go with us. I hadn't seen you put it in yours beg."

"But I wanted..."

"Katie, zip me up," Addison said.

The girl obeyed.

"I've talked to you and told you you're gonna be here with Maya. Tomorrow we're gonna go out to eat something you like and visit the city. Is my bra showing?" she asked.

"No," Katie answered.

"Can you clasp this necklace?"

Katie climbed a chair and tried to close her mother's necklace. Her red hair was curled falling onto her shoulders. She was really elegant.

"Why you can take us with you?" Ella asked sitting next to her sister's feet.

"Because it's gonna end so late in the night, and I don't want anybody sleeping on my lap."

"But I promise..."

"No, Isabella!" she interrupted. "I've told you I'll bring something for you, haven't I? What do you want? Sweeties?"

"I want to see you getting Mr. Oscar."

"It's not the Oscar, honey. Look, I won't even win it, I'm going just because they asked me to and it's polite to go when you're invited," Addison said. "It's gonna be a boring event, with grownup people talking about annoying things... You would hate it. You did, Katie?"

"Why you're going if you won't get it?"

"Because this is like life works. We don't always win. You're done, Katie?"

"Almost there... Done!" the girl said.

"I guess you need some glasses."

Addison stared at her own image again and sighed.

"You're pretty!" Katie said smiling.

"Thank you, honey."

"You're looking like a princess!" Isabella said.

Addison smiled.

"Oh! I have something for you!" Katie said like remembering something. "Wait a minute, I'll take it."

"Okay."

The girl left the bedroom and Naomi got into there.

"Addie... Wow! You're breathtaking!" she shouted. "Now I'm ashamed of myself."

Addison shook her head smiling.

"You're beautiful."

"Yeah, but you're hot."

She giggled.

"Come on? We're 5 minutes later."

"Oh! Sure," Addison said. "Let's go."

She bent in front of her younger daughter - who was sad, and kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry mommy can't take you, okay? In a few years, you'll understand."

"I wanna go too..." the girl whined.

"Oh, honey. Come to take mommy to the door."

They left the bedroom and were ready to leave when Katie ran there.

"MOMMY! I've asked you to wait!"

"Oh, honey... I'm sorry."

The girl approached her mother and showed her something.

"To good luck..."

It was a ring, and Addison knew it because she had seen it for years on Carolyn's finger.

"Daddy gave it to me and it's the only thing that I have that fit you."

Addison shivered and was thrilled.

"Thank you, honey."

She bent down and kissed her cheek,

"I'm gonna be thinking about you," Katie said.

"Thank you. Mommy loves you so much. Now I gotta go."

"Good luck."

Addison dressed in the ring and left with Naomi. Katie sat next to her sister and Maya. When she looked around, she saw her mother's cell phone on the coffee table.

"She has forgotten her cell phone."

Then she returned to watch the movie on the TV. They didn't notice when the phone received a call.

Derek let his cell phone aside and passed back and forth in his office wondering if Addison was upset. He knew he should be there with her, but he thought she had understood but now she wasn't even answering her phone.

Mark got there surprising him. He had two bottles of beer in his lab coat and put them on the desk before closing the blinds quickly.

"So? She's there yet?" he asked.

"I don't know, she's not answering her phone."

"Relax, dude, take a beer. She must be getting her Harper Avery now," said Mark. "She has a chance, you know?"

Derek sipped the bottle.

"You're thinking about it? We definitely know a Harper Avery laureated."

Derek rolled his eyes.

"Look, do you think she still feels something for Barnes?" he asked.

"Barnes? Her ex-boyfriend?"

"Dr. Noah Barnes."

Mark thought for a few seconds.

"I never thought she was in love with him," he answered honestly. "Why?"

"She has invited him to come with her. He asked me some days and Robbins told me today he was coming to Boston."

"That's why you're like this?" Mark asked sipping his drink. "You're jealous."

"I shouldn't be? She's my wife, girlfriend, I don't know what Addison thinks she is, and she has invited another man, her ex, to an important award…"

"Wait, Derek. You're telling me she hasn't invited you?"

"She had, but… I couldn't go," he lied. "So she invited someone else."

"You're literally jealous."

"Thank god you're here," Addison said holding Noah's hand.

He was elegant and handsome.

"My hands are swearing."

"Calm down. Breath."

She obeyed. There were a lot of elegant people and sometimes a flash of a camera caught her attention. Naomi noticed Addison had taken three glasses of wine already and she was taking another one with the waiter who was passing in front of her.

"Addison, take it easy…"

"I've told her," said Noah.

"You know me enough to know I need more than a bottle of wine to be drunk," she said. "This is a good harvest for an event."

She took another sip.

"Now I'm regretting not taking girls with me 'cause they should say something funny to make us laugh."

Noah smiled imagining.

"They should."

"Excuse me. Addison, this is Steven Sogem, from Stanford, he is amazed by your clinical trial," said Vivian Carlsmith standing next to her. "He'd like to meet you."

"Oh, nice to meet you, dr. Sogem," Addison said shaking his hand.

"My pleasure. I've been talking to dr. Carlsmith about the method you've developed, and it's a true advanced-level surgery for neonatal. Have you ever thought about the journal you're gonna publish in?"

"I have to review something before choosing any journal."

"Science!" the man suggested excitedly. "It's available for Science."

Addison shivered and smiled embarrassedly.

"I don't know if it's that big to Science."

"Yes, it is. Your method might be informed in the best journal."

Addison smiled, then a person who worked there approached to inform them that the event would begin in a few minutes. Addison shivered and swallowed hard. She drank the wine, then opened her purse to take her cell phone, but she had forgotten it at the apartment.

"Shit!"

"Ma'am, please..." a young and elegant woman suggested that Addison should come in.

She smiled against her wish and followed her to the elegant hall, where there were a lot of tables and different kinds of doctors. She knew them by sight but just waved while looking for her table. She was avoiding looking around because she knew that Bizzy and Captain should be there.

She wasn't imagining she would sit at a table in a high evidence, so near the standard, until see Naomi waving at her. She walked there and finally sat next to her friend and Noah. On the center of the table, there was a small plaque with her name.

Addison Montgomery,

M.D., F.A.C.S., F.A.C.O.G.

(Nominated)

Naomi pointed discreetly in a direction, and Addison looked at it imagine it must be Derek, but it was Bizzy and Captain. They were really there. Talking, smiling, and greeting some doctors. Vivian Carlsmith, the chief of surgery of the hospital Addison worked in New York and her personal friend was one of them. Addison just shook her head and took a glass of champagne. In a few minutes the lights turned down to take a reddish tone, and people sat on their chairs and paid attention to the most illuminated point in the stand. There was a trophy, but they couldn't see the name printed on it. Addison knew how it was personally. Captain got his when she was 12 and at that time she spent a lot of time staring at it in his office at home. She shouldn't imagine someday she would be really nominated for this, or even have one.

She didn't need to see the projected image when and black and elegant woman walked on the stage while people were applauding. She has curled brown hair and was wearing a green dress, and Addison could recognize her, of course. It was Catherine Avery.

"Good night everybody..." she said in a charming tone. "I'm glad you're all here tonight to celebrate science, medicine, surgery, and innovation. Tonight I'm honored to be here again with our winners and future winners of our Harper Avery Award. It was five talented and competent surgeons who were right here."

She pointed and a light focused above the table of the nominated. Addison felt nervous and smiled applauding like everybody.

"I do like this event. It's a good moment to celebrate, to see that friend of ours that works at Alabama and we don't see in so long," Catherine played making some people giggle. "To have good food and drink. Also, to talk about surgery."

Addison exchanged a glance with her father.

"Surgery is the most beautiful and courageous way to heal. The Harper Avery Award aims to celebrate the doctors who destroyed barriers, changed directions, and created the future of how we live, cure, and help people. We do believe that surgeons who are here this night are rewriting the medicine and future generation. And think about what we've called all these years' surgeons whose brains contribute to science and medicine. Also, ones who have got their own Harper Avery, of course."

People giggled.

"This night our honored surgeon is dr. Vivian Carlsmith, the chief of surgery of Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, who won a Harper Avery Award for your job with cardio structures for fetus in the first trimester."

Vivian went to the stage, fixed some strands of hair behind her ears, then greeted Catherine. Her thin body almost disappeared against her colleague's curves when they hugged. It's been so long since the last time they've seen either.

"Thank you, Catherine. Long time we don't see."

"I know. Vivian is a close friend of mine and was the only neonatal surgeon to win a Harper Avery, what's is a coincidence this night we have another neonatal nominated."

Addison forced a smile.

"I'm sorry, guys, I can't be impartial this night," Vivian said.

People giggled again. A young woman approached her and give her a green envelope. Vivian opened it to read who was the winner and almost couldn't hide her reaction.

"The surgical mind has to be inspired, always questioning the world around. I do believe the Harper Avery Award is a celebration of the surgical mind, the kind of mind I've seen in this night laureated when she was just an intern."

Naomi and Noah smiled, while Addison kept the same countenance. She hadn't noticed Vivian was talking about her. She was really anxious to know who had got it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so honored, truthy, and proud to announce the Harper Avery laureated this year," said Vivian. "Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery."

At that moment, listening to her name, Addison felt something strong and her heart beat even more faster than it was. She hadn't imagined it could be possible. A brighter light was turned above her table while everybody was applauding. She stood up and greeted Naomi and Noah not listening to what they had said. Then went to the stage smiling at Catherine Avery and her mentor, who was holding the award. She first greeted Catherine thanking for the award, then she hugged Vivian tightly. She was almost crying proudly.

When they finally stepped back, Addison wiped her mentor's tears and took the award she was giving her. She tried to read the quote that was printed, but her head was accelerated and she couldn't concentrate on anything. She put the trophy on the pulpit and looked around at all the surgeons.

The nominees were looking at her like it was hard for them to smile. Captain waved to her like he used to do when she was a child and he went to her piano recitals. Bizzy looked proud.

"Thank you, dr. Carlsmith. Thank you everybody," Addison said finally starting to talk. "To be honest I haven't prepared anything for tonight 'cause I didn't believe I should be on this stage tonight."

People giggled.

"This is why I don't know who I want to thank and I'm afraid of forgetting someone."

They giggled again.

"Uh… Another day I was reviewing my article from this clinical trial, and I stopped exactly at the acknowledgment part 'cause we always forget someone, but here we go. This is always a difficult moment for people who care," she said. "At first I'd like to thank dr. Carlsmith. I wouldn't be here without her mentorship and support. She always told me, when I was just an intern, that we just have to know one person, one patient, one case, and it can change our lives forever, change our perspective, our minds, to make us doubt everything we know, or we think we know, whatever, to make us question our abilities."

Vivian smiled.

"When I met Sean Patruchi, she can't be here tonight, she has a touching history from a woman who wants too badly to have a kid, but can't like a lot of women in this world. And it's really touching because even if she knew her daughter's issues, even if many specialists had told her baby's limitations, that her daughter would live so long, she wanted so badly to have her. And that feeling was so strong that she trusted her daughter's life to a young and dreamer resident enchanted by her strength to say I want my daughter to live!" she told. "So I did it. I did what dr. Carlsmith taught me. I've challenged everything I knew and tried to look away and see something special in what we do every day in an O.R.: trick the death, 'cause we love life. I never thought that surgery should work until someone tell me about a blog Sean Patruchi had written about her daughter, Gwen, development. She related in emotive words every single step of Gwen's development, and the most touching part was when she gave her first step. I guess this made me feel ready to return to my studies with spina bifida. For this, inspiration, I thank a lot dr. Noah Barnes, who was with me the whole time supporting me and helping. And of course, I can't let to thank the patient, Sean Patruchi, for believing in me, and trust me, and letting me operate on her when I was a resident. She was one of my first surgeries that's not a c-section."

People laughed.

"Well, if I knew that surgery was successful, I should have written something and published it in a medical journal at that time. It must be audacious for a resident, I know, but also it would be funny to see my colleague's reactions to this. I guess people, men especially, don't take you seriously when you are a woman in a surgery program, less we chose a girly specialty. Trust me, it happens yet, what's awful 'cause when we look at the past we can see dr. Carlsmith went through this, dr. Avery went through this, I went through this, a lot of women surgeons who are here went through this, and maybe my daughters are gonna go through this too. And I'm not saying they're gonna be surgeons too, of course…" she said making people laugh. "They're gonna be whatever they want to. But the fact is that, in any job, we, women, want to work twice to get something like this. So, I have to say that when I was sitting here, waiting for the result, I was thinking: Of course, I won't win. I'm the only woman nominated…"

"And was waiting for someone to support me..." she thought thinking about Derek.

"But now that I'm here, I'm thinking that it has to be mine. I'm thinking about everything I sacrificed to be the doctor I am, the doctor who is here this night, the doctor who deserves to be here, with this award. This award I'm gonna dedicated to my daughters, Katherine and Isabella, and all the women surgeons out there. Thank you."

People stood up to applaud her. Addison just smiled and looked at Noah showing the trophy to him.

When she and Naomi arrived at the apartment they had rented, they went to their bedroom. It was a tiring night. Addison took off her shoes, left her purse and the Harper Avery Awards on the furniture, and smiled at the girls, who were sleeping on the bed. Before going to the bathroom to clean up her face, she took her cell phone next to Katie and saw that there were a lot of calls from Derek's number. She had no idea what time it was in Seattle, but she called him and he didn't take so long to answer.

"Addie, how it was?" he asked before she says something.

"I... I have a Harper Avery now."

"Congratulation!" he said making her smile. "I knew you would be laureated. Congratulation!"

"Thank you. I guess I knew it too. Had I woken you up?" she asked taking her rings off.

"No. Do you think I could sleep before talking to you? Addie, I've been thinking and I think it's right that I come back to New York, right? Stay near you and girls."

"You want this?" she asked.

"It's the right. Live together."

"I'm not asking if it's the right. I'm asking if this is what you want," she said.

Derek was silent.

"We've talked about it, Derek. I'm fine you're there and us here…"

"But I don't feel like you are. I wanna stay with you, and if giving up my job and coming back to New York is the solution, so I'll do it."

Addison pursed her lips.

"Don't do it..." she said.

"Huh?" he asked not understanding.

"You're not gonna be happy, will blame me all the time for the sacrifice you're doing for me and our family," she answered. "How can you think I can deal with the pressure you're gonna put on me?"

"Pressure? I won't pressure you."

"I know you, Derek. Don't feel guilty. It's okay. Stay in Seattle."

"Everybody is waiting for me to prove something to you, so I can go to New York, to Boston, or wherever you want to watch you shine."

"You see? You're blaming me. I don't want you to go to New York. Stay where you are and keep thinking about your career, Derek! I wanna you to be happy. I won't stop loving you because we don't live together. I handle you back in New York feeling it's a big sacrifice, and making me feel guilty for a decision you've taken. I've decided tonight that I'll stop to feel guilty and compare my career with yours. If my achievements are here on East Coast, I'm gonna live here. If yours are on West Coast, so you must live there. Let's just…" she scratched her forehead. "Stay away from our career paths."

"Wow! You've talked like Bizzy."

Addison raised her eyebrows and was silent for a few seconds.

"Bye, Derek."

"Addie..."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Addie, wait..."

"Not now."

"I'm sorry. I haven't meant…"

"Why? It's what you think," she said.

"I didn't think…"

"You didn't, that's why it's what you think!" she said. "If you wanted to hurt me, congrats, you did, so just admit it's what you think. I'm like Bizzy."

"Can you hear me, please?"

"You shouldn't do anything worst than say I'm like her 'cause you mean I'm selfish and a terrible mother. I got it."

"Addie... I love the way you change my words," he said ironically.

"You really think I'm like my mother? Do you? So now I have to be guilty about it either? After make you give up your position as the chief of surgery…"

"I should give up for you."

"Oh! You should give up for me?" she asked giggling. "But I'm not asking you to do this, I don't want you to do anything for me, Derek. You can stay where you are, for god sake! Stop feeling guilty, Derek! It's okay!"

Then she hung up and let the cell phone aside. After breathing sometimes, she sat next to Katie and stroked her hair, making her wiggle on the bed and opening her eyes.

"Mommy... You're here."

"I am, honey," she said kissing her forehead. "Did you eat something before went to bed?"

"Yes."

Katie moved to sit down, but Addison lay her down again.

"No… It's late. Come back to sleep."

Ella woke up too.

"Hi, mommy..."

"Hi, baby," Addison said kissing her cheek.

"It's the morning?" Ella asked.

"No, it's not."

"How was there?" Katie asked.

"It was a party with lots of annoying grownups like I've told you it would be."

She took the trophy and showed them.

"Mommy won the Harper Avery Award."

The two girls smiled and pulled her mother's body to hug her.

"Congratulation, mommy," Katie said.

"Thank you, honey."

"And daddy was there?" Isabella asked.

Addison let the trophy aside and pursed her lips.

"No, sweetie. He wasn't there."

"But I thought he would be there."

"Me too..." Addison thought.

"No. He is in Seattle."

"Why aunt Nai went with you and dad doesn't?" Katie asked

Addison was silent for a few seconds, then approached to caress the girls' faces.

"Because this is how things work."