Chapter 32: The Knowing - Part 1

She barely caught herself before she started to bite her nails. Again. Everyone had a tell to stress and unfortunately, Hermione's fingers often took the brunt of the damage. She would scold herself time and again, reminding herself it was a nasty habit (it really was). Sometimes her inner voice took on a tone of mockery, saying it was the reason she would never be thought of as pretty. After all, chewed-off nails were hardly a captivating sight. She couldn't imagine him holding the hand of anyone with less than manicured perfection.

She sighed. Therein lay her real problem and the cause of her stress. Him. The perpetual burr under her saddle. The pesky thorn in her flesh. The reason for her sleepless nights. And ceaseless longings.

Draco Malfoy.

Hermione could scarcely remember a time when he hadn't been a source of her discontent. It had all started so long ago….so much had happened since the first train ride to Hogwarts where she'd volunteered to help Neville find his familiar. She'd knocked on a random door and a great hulking lump of a boy had opened it. Ignoring him, she'd slipped inside and asked the boys sitting there if they'd seen a toad. They shook their heads for the most part, except for one who had given her a once-over and asked, "What happened to your hair? It looks like a pygmy puff made a nest in it."

The others snickered at his comment, but Hermione paid them no mind, for when she glared back at the snarky youth, her vision suddenly expanded to see a shimmering veil of light around him, causing his blonde hair to glow. A type of knowing filled her, words pulling from somewhere….inside her, yet not of her, filling her mind.

A flame….a mirror….a twin. Intense. Difficult. But necessary. Designed to test and develop.

Hermione's eleven year old mind didn't know how to process the intuition that flooded her that day.

But it didn't matter. Because she would continue to be battered with the message.

Year after year after year.

And Merlin, had that message been right. Difficult. That was Malfoy in a nutshell. Testing her patience and limits of endurance, Draco had been a continual pain in the backside. Yet…..there was also….something about him. The way he held his quill. The thoughtful expression he displayed when she would see him studying in the library, unguarded and relaxed. The terrified concern on his face when she'd been on the wrong end of Bellatrix's knife in the Manor. And later as a healer, the quiet confidence he emitted in tending to his patients, most of them being a kind he would have deemed beneath his notice when he was younger. Werewolves. Squibs. Muggleborns.

A familiar knock on her office door roused Hermione from her memories. Sticking his head inside, Harry grinned at her, saying, "Hey. Sawbones here was loitering in the hallway, waiting for you." Opening the door wide, he walked in with the object of Hermione's fantasies following behind him.

Sawbones? Hermione wanted to roll her eyes. She supposed Harry thought the term was amusing, but it really wasn't. She shuddered thinking of how it came to be. Draco, sauntering in like he owned the place, ignored his former enemy, choosing instead to greet Hermione with, "Still working in this rabbit hutch?"

Hermione looked around at her cramped office. It was small, much smaller than other offices, but the ministry had never considered the Creature Rights Division as a reason for spending. They weren't interested in impressing the clients who frequented there.

"At least it's clean," she shrugged, totally discounting the overburdened bookcase and desk littered with papers.

"Are you available tonight to meet me at the Leaky? I need to discuss one of my cases with you."

"Why? I'm no healer."

"No, but you are the Head of this department. That allows you to call forth a session with the Wizengamot."

Hermione ah'd in understanding. "Are you talking about McGregor Bains?"

Draco nodded. "His surgery went without a hitch. But he's recently developed some symptoms that are troubling. His family can't afford another operation, so I'm hoping you can be the one to catch the snitch for him. By law, I'm not allowed to appeal before the Wizengamot. I can only provide medical testimony to the state of his health."

"What symptoms are we talking about?" Harry asked before Hermione could.

"During the last full moon, he only partially transformed. We've seen it before in a couple of other patients, but if he doesn't have an additional surgery to correct this, the condition could end up being permanent. If that happens, he'll be a sitting duck amongst the other werewolves."

Harry and Hermione both grimaced. It wouldn't take long for the other weres to notice and take advantage of a weakened wolf during a full moon. Without the aid of the ministry to foot the cost, McGregor would be as good as dead.

"Of course. Meet you there at six?"

Draco nodded at the witch. "See you then." Before he left her office, he turned to Harry and said, "By the way, Potter, I was told to tell you Pansy expects to be taken to a nicer restaurant the next time you two go out."

Harry blushed madly while his best friend's jaw dropped. "Harry Potter…..did you go out with Pansy Parkinson? On a date? Like a date, date?"

Harry gave Draco the stink eye. "Thanks, Malfoy. You're just as much a git as you used to be."

Draco chuckled, clapping Harry on the back. "That's what I live for, Potter. But hey…" he paused while winking conspiratorially at Hermione, "that's what I was told to say. What she doesn't know is that I overheard her talking to Daphne. She couldn't quit mooning over your and I quote, "mesmerizing green eyes" or the sound of your "roguish laugh" or the "softness" of your lips." Draco pretended to gag. "I thought I was going to spew."

Right then, Harry looked like he might, too. He didn't dare look at Hermione.

"Well, I best be off, " Draco said cheerily. " See you tonight, Granger." And with a wave, he left.

"Git," Harry repeated after he was gone. He finally found the courage to peek at his friend. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, well, well….." she drawled.

"Oh shut up. Anyhow, it's not like you're any different.'

Hermione froze. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Harry huffed. "Like you don't know." Seeing her incredulous stare, he added, "What, do you think I'm blind? I've seen the way you look at him. You're no better than me."

"I….I don't know what you're talking about."

Harry's eyes softened even though his mouth held a mischievous smirk. "You don't have to pretend with me. I think I've known for a while."

She gulped. "Known what?"

"That you've always had a soft spot for Malfoy. Heck, you may even love him for all I know. It's lasted long enough to be love."

Hermione blanched, her face taking on a ghostly pallor. She covered her mouth with a hand that was starting to shake. Harry quickly took the other in his hand and gave it a squeeze. It was cold and clammy to the touch.

"Hey…..oh, hon…...it's okay. I'm not mad. And I'm certainly not judging you. But you need to come to grips with what you're feeling. If with no one else, you need to at least be honest with yourself." In an incredibly gentle voice, he ventured to ask, "You've always felt something for him, haven't you?"

Hermione bit her bottom lip, then slowly nodded.

"Then why not tell him?"

"Are you kidding? He would probably hex me."

Harry snorted. "I don't think so. In fact, I think you may be surprised."

A little color came back to Hermione's face. "You think?"

"Yeah, I do. But one of you is going to have to be bold enough to take the first step…..and let's face it, 'Mione…..it's not gonna be him. Slytherins are too much self-preservationists. They don't put themselves out there."

Hermione's cheeks dimpled. "Is that what you've found out with Pansy?"

Harry didn't flinch.. "Possibly. So it's a good thing we're both Gryffindors, isn't it?"

Was it, though?

The mantle of bravery that came with their house didn't always seem to fit Hermione. It sometimes felt too large for her frame. Too heavy.

Too much a burden.

But no heavier than a lonely heart.

A/N: Found this in one of my word docs. Had completely forgotten about it. I don't recall publishing it before, unless I did on Tumblr, so I thought I would put it in my Dracolicious series. Right now, I'm thinking there will be two more parts to this story.

Just giving myself a break before I finish final edits of the next chapter of the 3 C's 2.0. If you haven't read it, check it out.