Splinter hadn't wanted to trust Baron Draxum again, and under most circumstances he would have insisted on doing the contrary to the yokai's suggestion, just because he felt like he deserved to be petty. However, his sons were hurting and struggling, and Splinter couldn't help them as much as he wished he could. He'd nearly lost his sons to the Kraang, and he'd been completely blind to their suffering afterwards. He'd been far too relieved that they were safe that he had shrugged off anything weird he had noticed about their behavior.
Splinter had always known that he wasn't a good father for his boys. He couldn't give them what they needed. He was barely able to take care of himself. Every day he felt like he was drowning in a sea of grief as his mind circled through everything he had loved and lost. His mother. His fame and glory. His body. The only thing to distract him was mindless television and trying in vain to relive the past.
He wasn't completely adjusted now, but he had improved a lot from where he had been just two years ago. Now he wasn't afraid of opening himself up and letting the boys in, even though there was the risk that he would someday lose them, just as he had lost everything else.
He was doing better, but he was far from perfect. Splinter was still selfish and he still didn't know how to let his boys in as often as he probably should. He was trying though, and part of that was taking his boys, as well as Casey and April, to the mystic healer that Draxum had recommended them to.
Splinter would love to help his boys on his own without having to rely on a magical stranger, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. Splinter didn't even know how to move on from the pain and trauma of his own childhood. If he couldn't even teach his son's by example, how could he help them as much as they needed?
Baron Draxum's healer friend specialized in helping with this exact thing. They had training, and experience. It didn't matter that Splinter didn't want to trust Draxum just on principle. He wasn't going to let his pride get in the way of his children being taken care of. Splinter would happily trust his old enemy if it meant that his boys didn't need to live the rest of their lives carrying the burden of fear, loss, and trauma that still weighed him down every day.
So Splinter brought the teenagers to the healer at the Hidden City. He wanted to be involved in his son's healing processes. He had been in the dark for far too long when it came to his son's safety and wellbeing. He couldn't be oblivious anymore.
The mystic healers led them all into separate rooms. Splinter had only gone along with this because his children had all seemed content with this separation. In fact, they seemed to prefer things to be this way. Leo didn't want to talk about his insecurities in front of his family. Donatello believed in doctor patient confidentiality. April and Mikey were happy to do whatever the mystic healers thought was best, because they wanted to truly move on. As for Raphael, he was still reluctant to burden his family with his issues. He took after Splinter in that way. His oldest son would much rather have his problems fixed without making them his family's problems as well.
Splinter had thought that he would be stuck waiting anxiously for an hour or two. After all, he was here for his sons and no other reason. He'd tried the whole therapy thing as Lou Jitsu, when his old agent had forced him into it when his sleeping and drinking around got a little too problematic.
It had just been a lot of being told that he was acting out as a plea for attention. Lou Jitsu hadn't been happy about paying money for a pretentious jerk to tell him something that he already knew. Of course he wanted attention. If he didn't want to be in the spotlight, he wouldn't have become a movie star. He hadn't seen the problem with that.
He was supportive of his sons coming to therapy. It just wasn't for him. He wasn't sick or currently going through a traumatic experience. Yes, he had almost lost his sons, and that had been horrifying, but he had been dealing with loss and suffering all through his life. He knew how to cope by now. His sons didn't have that experience yet.
Splinter was surprised when he was brought into a room with a mystic healer in it. He had thought that he'd entered the wrong room, but they addressed him by name and invited him to sit.
Splinter had been dubious and frustrated, but he relaxed when the healer asked him about his sons. Not about how worried he was about them, or how well he took care of them, or anything like that. The healer just wanted Splinter to talk about his boys, their hobbies, their relationships, and anything he wanted. That was something that Splinter could do.
He talked about the ninjitsu that he and his sons did, and the games that the boys played. Eventually the conversation moved to how until recently Splinter had been distant and cold with his boys. Somehow, from there the healer got Splinter to talk about how part of the reason why he'd been afraid to open himself up to his sons had been to protect himself, but a larger reason was because he was trying to protect them.
Splinter didn't like to talk about his mother with anybody. He had told his sons far less about her than he probably should have. And yet here he was, talking about her with the healer without even realizing what he was doing.
Though Splinter had never stopped to consider it before, while talking it through and allowing himself to think about it, he realized that he had tried to distance himself from his children because he had lost his mother as a young child, and it had destroyed him. He'd loved her so much, and had never doubted her love for him. Now he knew that his grandfather had loved him intensely, but as a youth he'd refused to see it, because he knew that he would lose his grandfather sooner or later, and he hadn't wanted to feel that intense loss again.
He'd tried to protect himself, and when he took on his boys he'd unconsciously started to do the same thing for them. Surely if he didn't get close to them, they wouldn't feel that pain of losing a loving parent the way that he had.
The healer listened. They didn't tell him how he was feeling, or tried to lead him, they just said just the right thing for Splinter to realize things for himself. It was exhausting, but cathartic, so when the healer suggested that he come back in a week, he didn't hesitate to agree. It was only when Splinter walked into the waiting room did he realize that he hadn't meant for this to happen at all, and he was confused by the whole thing. He faltered slightly in his steps, looking around in confusion.
It was odd. He had felt incredibly clear-headed while talking to the healer, and he certainly hadn't felt like he was under the influence of mystic powers, but now he felt like he had stepped out of a magical field of sorts. Had the healer used magic to encourage Splinter to not just talk about how he was feeling, but also bring those feelings that frightened him to the front of his mind.
His instinct was to feel furious and intruded. He'd had so much mystical intervention on his well-being, but this was different. The magic hadn't changed his thoughts and feelings. Splinter knew that these feelings of his were real, and it really had been helpful.
So he wasn't mad or even uncomfortable, he was just confused.
In the sitting room he found Leonardo already waiting there. His son gave him a small smile.
"Hey, Dad," Leo said. "It feels weird, doesn't it?"
"Very." Splinter rubbed the back of his neck. "What was it like for you?" Splinter both wanted to know if his experience was normal, and how Leo was truly feeling.
His son shrugged. "They said that I am my own worst critic and project my own insecurities on others, and then get defensive about them."
Splinter was familiar with the feeling. He was incredibly similar. In a way, the reason why he had distanced himself from his son had been for a related reason.
Leo looked down at a piece of paper in his hands. "They gave me some exercises to try, including writing down my faults and my talents, and keeping the list balanced. They also wanted me to try to lead one of those dumb team-bonding activities that Raph was obsessed with. Then I'll come back next week and talk to them about how it went."
That was the exact kind of thing that Splinter wouldn't have liked at all, but Leo looked content. This might be the first time that he had seen his son look so calm and comfortable since the Kraang incident.
"Do you think this is something that can help you?" Splinter asked. Leo tightened his grip on the papers.
"I mean, it's not like it will hurt to try." Leo said with a very small smirk. "I think I can give this a short. At the very least I can hold off on stepping down as leader until I do this for another week or two."
Splinter was happy to hear it. He sincerely believed that Leonardo would be a good leader. Actually, he thought that all of his sons would be good leaders in their own ways. Raphael was a natural protector, and he would do anything for the sake of his brothers. Leonardo thought quickly and adapted when the situation called for it. He got himself into all kinds of problems, but he knew how to get out of them.
Donatello was the smartest person that Splinter knew, and he saw all kinds of things that the other boys and even Splinter himself would never even notice. Even Michelangelo, his spirited boy, was probably the most emotionally mature of his boys. He wasn't perfect, but he kept his brothers grounded when they began to spiral.
Splinter hadn't chosen Leo as the leader because he hadn't thought that Raph was good enough. He knew what his sons were capable of, and he wanted them to be aware of it too. If Raph didn't have the pressure of being leader, maybe he would relax and realize that he had more to contribute to the team than his brute strength and the fact that he was the oldest. And if Leo was forced into a leadership position maybe he would mature a little bit and begin to realize that there was a time and place for all of his scheming.
Splinter hadn't necessarily planned on this being a permanent thing. He just wanted to see how the boys adapted to a change in their dynamics. Would they stumble through it, or thrive immediately?
Clearly there had been a lot of stumbling so far, but maybe now that they'd gotten through the hurdles and came out stronger for it, they would be able to begin to thrive.
Leo looked at some of the papers he was holding. "Dad, do you think it's okay to be selfish sometimes?" Splinter was stunned and didn't know where his son was going with this. Leo continued before he could make a fool of himself. "You know, lately I've been trying to understand that things aren't about me. That me being the leader doesn't mean that I know everything, or have to do everything. It's not a chance for me to shine in the spotlight, it's the responsibility of making sure that the team is okay."
Leo sighed. "I started thinking that if I thought about myself, then I was letting the team down, because I was being selfish and making things about me again." He smiled ever so slightly. "The healer said that sometimes, every once and awhile, it's okay to be selfish and have things be about me sometimes, because if I'm not okay then I can't help my brothers."
Leo looked a little nervous. "The healer gave me some meditation exercises to do, to focus and ground myself if I start feeling overwhelmed, or to think before I act, or even just to take a few minutes and center myself again. Do you think you could do it with me?"
Splinter hadn't done proper meditation for years. His grandfather had tried to encourage him to do it, but he'd been too scared and angry. He didn't care if it would help him to find peace with his mother's death. If anything, that had been part of the reason why he'd avoided it. When he was young he'd thought that if he no longer grieved his mother then he would forget her.
He was in a better place now, and though he didn't know as much about meditation as he probably should, he could learn. For his son's peace of mind, and for himself, Splinter would learn.
"I would love to join you." Splinter said. Leo looked relieved and excited. Though he was doing better with giving his children the attention they needed, he still had a long way to go. Splinter knew that he needed to give his boys more attention. It was the least that they deserved.
"Dad!" Mikey shouted as he ran into the room. He looked far more relaxed than before. Coming here had been good for him. "Leo!"
"Hey, Mikey." Leo said. "How'd it go?"
"Great." Mikey said. "They're so nice. They just talked, and listened, and it felt good. They said that it's great that we all want to help each other, but we shouldn't beat ourselves up if we're not good enough on our own."
Mikey looked at his hands in awe. "I guess Draxum told me I've been wanting to work on my mystical powers, because they offered to show me a thing or two. They even taught me a simple spell I can use to contact them if any of us need to talk."
Splinter didn't completely understand mystic magic. The closest thing he understood was the magic that had been passed down through the Hamato generations. It was always nice to see the passion that Mikey put into everything he did.
April came out a few minutes later. She didn't have anything to say about her own conversation, but she was much less tense than before. That was at least half the kids , as well as Splinter himself, who found this to be a good experience. He hated to admit it, but not only had Draxum's suggestion been the only thing they could do, it had been a good idea. Splinter would have to thank him, hopefully without their conversation turning into an argument the way that they so often did.
Donatello was the next to come out. Apparently he had stayed with his healer for longer than was necessary to discuss the theories behind mystic healing and the ways that it differed from and was similar to psychology.
Splinter didn't completely understand what had been bothering Donnie all week. He just knew that it had something to do with his shell. Something that the healer had done or said must have stuck with Donnie, because he was wearing his battle shell again. He didn't look completely comfortable, but it was something.
"There isn't really anything wrong with my shell." Donnie said when April asked if he was okay. "I knew it was all in my head. The healer had a few ideas on how I can get over it. The simplest thing to try is exposure therapy, so I'm going to have my shell on for a few minutes before taking it off. I'll slowly increase the amount of time that I wear it, and hopefully by next week there will be some improvement."
Donnie looked around. "Where are Casey and Raph?"
"Still talking to the healers." Splinter said. He didn't know whether to be concerned or relieved. On the one hand, he wanted his son and his friend to get all the help they needed. On the other hand, what if they were so hurt that they needed far more help than what mystical healers could provide? Splinter once again found himself wishing that he could be in there with his son.
Leo looked at Donnie's concerned expression and Mikey's slowly growing frown. They were worried about Raph, just as Splinter was. Leo had to be worried too, but he smiled and threw an arm over Mikey's shoulder.
"Hey, they might be a bit. Why don't we go hang around the Hidden City? 'Cause I don't know about you guys, but I'm starved." Leo said.
"What about Raph?" Mikey asked. "I don't want to leave him."
"You know that Raph has a tendency to freak out if he's alone." Donnie pointed out.
"He's with a mystic healer." Leo reminded them. "If he's going to freak out, there's no better place to do it."
Splinter knew that Leo wasn't trying to be dismissive of Raph's pain, he was simply trying to distract his younger brothers from the fact that there wasn't really anything that they could do right now. He was trying to be responsible, and Splinter was proud.
"Leonardo is right." Splinter said. "We all came here for healing. You've all made progress. I don't want you to be set back because you're worried for your brother. Raphael is in good hands. Trust the healers. Go. Relax. Enjoy yourselves. I'll stay here and make sure that your brother and friend are okay."
Donnie and Mikey still looked dubious, but when Leo started to lead them out they followed, and April was right behind them. Splinter watched them go. When they were out of sight he sighed tensely and sat on one of the waiting chairs. He was sure that Raphael was fine, but that didn't make the wait any easier. He would relax when he saw that his sons were safe.
Splinter was mentally preparing himself for a long wait when one of the mystic healers came out from the back, leading a drowsy looking Casey. Splinter stood up, feeling concern for the boy that he barely knew, but was already a part of their mixed up family.
"Is he alright?" Splinter asked. "What's wrong?"
"He will be okay." The healer led Casey to a chair. He shakily sat down and rested his head in his hands. He looked exhausted and a little distressed. "He carries a lot within his soul, but he didn't fully understand all that he'd been through, so there was only so much we could learn through his words alone. We had to go into his mind and capture the memories of his trauma so we can see just what he's been through."
Splinter didn't know a lot of the specifics about what Casey had lived through, but he knew far more about the Kraang and how dangerous and cruel they were then he would ever want to. Casey hadn't lived through just a few short days of their reign. It had been his whole life. That wasn't the kind of thing that somebody quickly got over.
"Did he have to relive that trauma?" Splinter was horrified at the very thought.
"Oh, no, we made every precaution to make sure that we did not retraumatize him." The healer assured him. "We made sure that he had a very pleasant dream while we worked. Of course, this kind of magic can be very draining for everybody involved. He will be tired for the next several hours. It would be best for Casey if he came back here in a few days, when he's ready. By that time we'll have had the chance to properly go through the memories and we can figure out how to help him."
So Casey hadn't gotten any help, but he could later. Splinter was a little cautious about this, but the healers had done well with him, his boys, and April. He needed to trust that they knew what they were doing.
"How is my son?" Splinter asked. The healer's expression gave away nothing about Raph's state, which was mildly annoying.
"We're almost done with him." The healer said casually. They didn't sound remotely concerned, but it didn't do a lot to ease Splinter's concern. He always assumed that healers and doctors were skilled in the art of hiding how they were really feeling.
"What is taking so long?" Splinter asked. He knew that he sounded like an impatient child, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to see his son.
"It's a complicated procedure." The healer said. "Do you want to come back with me to see him? Your presence may help him to relax."
It was exactly what he wanted, but Splinter didn't want to leave Casey on his own. He looked back towards the boy, who was staring tiredly at him.
"Go ahead." Casey waved him off. "I'm fine. Just tired." Maybe Splinter should have insisted on remaining with him, but he was far too desperate to see Raph. He gave Casey an appreciative smile and followed the healer to the room where Raph was.
His oldest son was laid back on what looked like an exam table. A healer was kneeling over him, their hands on the side of Raph's head. The healer leaned so far forward that their heads were only a few inches away from each other.
The two of them were staring blankly at each other, neither of them so much as blinking. At the same time though, neither of them looked like they were actually seeing anything.
"What's going on?" Splinter asked in a quiet tone. Raph didn't glance his way, but his hands twitched.
"Hi, Pops." Raph's voice shook slightly. He sounded so young and vulnerable.
The healer that had accompanied Splinter guided him to take Raph's hand, which he was only too happy to do.
"We found a parasite of sorts behind his eye." The healer next to Raph said without looking away from the turtle. "It's not something any of us recognized. We tried to detach it, but it's resistant to any of our power."
"A parasite?!" Splinter was horrified. Had a bit of the Kraang embedded itself into his son? Was it going to slowly take control of him, just like before? Splinter couldn't bear the thought.
"It's not that bad." Raph said, even as he squeezed Slinter's hand tightly. He was oddly calm.
"It's not exactly benign." The healer with Splinter said. "Your son is only so calm because we put a quiet presence around him. However, he'd correct, the situation is not as bad as it seems."
"We don't believe that the parasite is spreading or feeding." The other healer said. "It seems to be dead, in which case it's difficult to know if it would still be considered a parasite. Regardless, it's just blocking off the nerve between Raph's eye and his brain, which is why he can't see. Creating a new connection is relatively simple, it's just a long procedure. And despite the calming aura we put around him, he's still tense, which makes it harder."
"It's a little hard to relax when I know that there's a little piece of Kraang still stuck in my head, and it's probably going to be there forever." Raph's voice shook. "I feel like I'm going to be sick."
Splinter's hand was being squeezed. He took his free hand and laid it on his son's hand, patting it reassuringly. "You're doing so well, my son. If I was in your position I know I kow I would be panicking, regardless of how strong a calming spell is on me."
Raph's mouth twitched to a small smile. "Donnie would be so squeamish about this."
"Oh, most certainly." Splinter chuckled. Donatello had always been the most fidgety and even anxious about uncomfortable textures, and having a parasite in his head would probably cause him to shut down completely.
Raph took in a long, deep breath. "Dad, what if this doesn't work and I still can't see?"
"Then we will all adjust together." Splinter said. If he could learn how to adjust to being turned into a rat, then he was sure that his son could learn how to be without half his sight if it came to that. Raphael had always been more disciplined than Spllinter had ever been. And he had his brothers at his side. It wouldn't be easy, and it definitely wasn't what any of them wanted, but Splinter knew that they would be able to get through this.
Splinter stood by Raph's side for the next thirty minutes or so. They didn't talk much, but his son just seemed to enjoy his quiet company. He didn't visibly relax, but slowly but surely Raph's grip on Splinter's hand loosened, though it was still incredibly firm. Finally Raph blinked rapidly and the healer kneeling over him let out a tired sigh and sat back.
"It's done." The healer said. He sounded exhausted, but satisfied.
Raph took a deep breath and sat up. He looked at Splinter, frowned slightly, and put a hand over one of his eyes. Raph stared at him for a long minute before grinning broadly. "It worked. Dad, it worked!"
"It did?" Splinter smiled. "You can see me? Really?" He knew that mystical powers were capable of a lot, but somehow bringing sight back to his son had felt like a little too much.
"I mean, it's a little blurry, and there's a bit of a purple tinge to everything, but yeah." Raph said.
"Those are lingering effects of the procedure." The healer that had accompanied Splinter said. "They should fade in time. If they're still there in a few days, we can adjust things to make sure that everything is done right."
"We'll need you to come in regularly so we can reinforce the new connection." The tired healer said. "We'd also like to look closer at this parasite thing to see if we can get it out. And I sensed some distress in your mind that I would like to help with."
"Many of us have to return here in the future." Splinter said to Raph. He didn't want his son to think that he was the only one that needed additional help. They all needed this.
"Are the others okay?" Raph asked.
"Casey's a little tired, but the rest of us are just fine." Splinter said. "I'll give Draxum credit where it's due, this was good for us."
Raph rubbed his eye. "Man, this feels so weird. Not bad, just super weird."
"We'll get used to it." Splinter said. He gave Raph a stern look. "Together. No more secrets between us. We're a family. We take care of each other. We can't do that if we don't know if something's wrong."
"I know." Raph said. "I'll try." Splinter supposed that was the best that he could ask for. He knew that he struggled with the same thing, with not wanting to burden the others with his issues. It was something that they all needed to work on, and maybe now that they had help they would be able to do just that.
"We'll be back soon." Splinter said to the healers. "Thank you for all you've done."
"Anything for the baron." The healers said in unison. Splinter didn't think he'd ever get used to the idea that Draxum was yokai nobility. It was just far too weird.
"Let's get Casey and find your brothers." Splinter said. He knew his boys, and he knew that none of them would relax completely until they were all together again. They were close, and always would be. They made a good team, and an amazing family. None of them were perfect, and all of the boys, as well as Splinter himself, had a lot of improvement to make.
Today had just been the first step in this journey, and Splinter knew they would probably stumble and falter, or even lose their way, but they were in this together, and that was how he knew that they would get through this. No matter what came their way, they would get through it as a family. Even if they weren't okay now, they would eventually be, and that was what mattered.