Phoenix sat at her desk going through the paperwork dividing what needed to signed by Captain Ōbi and the items she could take care of that did not require his signature. As she reached for another file, she could feel him staring at her. Glancing over at him, their eyes made contact.

"What?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm a little tired," she lied - but only partly.

The chronic depression did make her feel exhausted; more than any workout her Captain had put her through. Obviously she could no longer ignore it and pretend to be all right because other people were beginning to notice.

Her life, her body, had drastically changed. She had lost her pyrokinetic ability and an eye. Her day entailed endless paperwork mixed with waiting nervously at their base for the others when they were called out, wondering what was happening to them. The Fire Cathedral was immaculate, totally spotless, because cleaning kept her mind and her body busy until they returned.

It was natural there would be an adjustment period and not only for her new daily tasks. She had lost something important after all; a large piece of herself, her identity. Mourning had to done for what was lost, for what was taken from her, and the depression had come.

"You should go see your father," Ōbi suggested as she marked the spaces on another pile of papers for him to sign. "Perhaps do a bit of training with him to change things up a bit."

"Maybe so," Phoenix mumbled, flipping the page.

Ōbi cleared his throat, shifting in his chair. What he said next had the possibility of making her temper flare. However, she did not seem to get angry anymore. She did not seem to feel much of anything anymore. It was weird and a bit disconcerting. At least when she would fly into rage before, she would blurt out exactly was on her mind. There was no doubt what was going through her head . He had no idea what was bothering her, but she seemed to be drowning and it was his duty to help her.

"He could also help with the training for compensating for your missing eye. I mean after all -"

Phoenix raised her head from the folder to look at him making his next words freeze on his tongue. Her face was shockingly neutral, registering no emotion whatsoever.

"You're right," she agreed, giving him a weak smile. "I should go see him."

Phoenix had been avoiding her father for quite a while. Aside from the occasional phone conversation, there had been no contact for months since the accident. Naturally he was too busy taking care of his duties as a Captain and tending to his own fire soldiers. She had told herself it was to avoid being asked to transfer to Company One again.

I'm pretty much useless no matter which Company I belong too, she thought bitterly, closing the file folder. Standing up, she handed it to Ōbi .

"Here, Sir. This one is ready."

"Thanks."

She continued to stand beside him, shifting from foot to foot, debating with herself. Should she just suck it up and continue like nothing is wrong? Should she take her Captain's advice and go see her father? She glanced at the man whose kind brown eyes full of concern were now on his paperwork. He really cared about his subordinates, genuinely worried about their well being. She should not be a stubborn ass and ignore that.

"Uhm, Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it okay if I go...to see my father? Now?" she requested in apprehensive broken queries.

Captain Ōbi looked up from the paperwork. He wasn't exactly sure if he liked this new quiet and compliant Phoenix. Losing the phoenix took the fire out of her literally and figuratively.

"Sure. I'll call him and let him know you're coming."

"Thank you." She saluted, taking her leave.

Phoenix needed to find Shinra. The search wasn't difficult. He could be heard arguing with Arthur in the kitchen as soon as she stepped into the hall. It sounded like they were fighting over which flavor of sports drink tasted better. She smiled and shook her head. It was comforting that some things never changed.

Shinra stood on one end of prep table with a bottle of the red fruit punch flavored drink in his hand. His opponent positioned at the other end presently chugged his bottle of blue raspberry flavored tinted a bright, eye popping blue.

"Only an idiot would think that weird blue crap tasted good. I bet your insides glow after drinking that," Shinra muttered.

"So what if they do?" Arthur countered. "What kind of fruit exactly is in fruit punch?"

Well, none I'm sure, Phoenix thought, leaning against the door jamb to wait for Shinra's verbal counter attack.

"What the hell is a blue raspberry anyway? No such thing has ever existed!" He lifted his bottle and shook it. "Raspberries are red. R-E-D. Red!"

"Oh, yeah?! Blue just tastes better!"

"Red tastes batter!"

I guess they know what color tastes like. Can they see sounds?, Phoenix pondered, giggling to herself. She cleared her throat to get their attention. The subtle but intrusive sound startled them enough to end the argument immediately, both of their heads whipping in her direction.

"Hi," she greeted them with a little wave.

"Milady!" Arthur exclaimed, hurrying to get to her before Shinra could.

"Please stop calling my girlfriend that," Shinra muttered irritably.

Dropping to one knee in front of her, Arthur took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"Stop it Arthur," Shinra snapped, rolling his eyes. "Would you please stop flirting with my girlfriend?"

"Back off, knave. She's my Queen, and I am not flirting. That would be unbecoming of a knight and a King," he informed Shinra, rising to stand in front of Phoenix to face her. "What would my Queen ask of her loyal knight?"

"My good Knight King, I would like to have a word with your fellow knight in private if I may."

"Of course, Milady." Arthur bowed and exited the kitchen.

Phoenix flashed Shinra a shy smile before walking toward him. Even when she put her arms around him, he glowered at her without attempting to kiss her.

"Good Sir. Dost thou have a kiss for your lady?" she inquired with an amused chuckle.

Shinra shook his head, his eyes rolling around at her silliness, and he smiled. He put his arms around her waist to hold her back while still gazing at her face.

"What?" she asked with a nervous giggle.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" she inquired innocently, blinking her mercury colored eyes at him.

"Indulge him."

"I always find it endearing when he addresses me that way."

"I bet," he muttered poking out his bottom lip.

"Aww, sweetheart," she cooed, placing a kiss on his bottom lip. "You know Authur's just a friend. He might be the Knight King, but you," she said, emphasizing the word even more by poking him in the chest, "are my King, Shinra Kusakabe."

"I guess," he mumbled, poking his bottom out in an exaggerated pout.

"You guess," she mocked him, flicking his bottom lip with her forefinger. His lip made a popping sound which made her giggle. She did it a few more times, continuing to giggle, until he nipped her finger to make her stop.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, feigning being hurt despite him being extremely gentle and not inflicting any pain with his pointed teeth. She shook her supposedly injured finger and shoved it in her mouth.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked, grabbing her hand to pull her finger out of her mouth to inspect it. "Hey, there's no - "

"Of course not. You'd never hurt me. I'm fine," she assured him, leaning forward to press her lips squarely to his.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"How did you know I wanted to talk?" She tilted her head like an inquisitive puppy.

Shinra rubbed his finger across the furrows in her forehead. "You always get this certain look on your face."

"Ah, yeah, I'd never be a good gambler," she admitted with a self-conscious chuckle.

"So," he said, squeezing her gently, "what is it? You're not planning on running away again are you?" His arms tightened around her.

"No way. I told you never again, and I meant it." Her arms tightened around him while her eyes latched onto his. Growing serious, she added, "You're stuck with me Shinra. Whether you like it or not."

"Well, I do like it." He reached up to push a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You've been avoiding him. I'm glad you're going. Want me to walk with you?"

"Nah. I think I need a little time to get my thoughts together before I see him. It's been a while so it's bound to be awkward. And I'm a little ashamed of myself. The walk will give me time to clear my head, maybe figure out a way to apologize to him," she explained, patting his chest over his heart.

He pressed a kiss the middle of her forehead.

"I doubt he will be angry. Captain Burns is different when it comes to you. He becomes an old softie." He tapped her forehead lightly with his forefinger. "I can tell a lot has been going on up there lately. I figured if it got to be too much, you would say something or ask for help," he said, squeezing her reassuringly. "There's something I need to talk to you about too."

"Oh?" She raised her head to look up at him, but he refused to meet her eyes.

"Let's walk and talk," Shinra suggested, letting go of her waist to take one of her hands in his. "I'll walk you to the corner."

"Okay," Phoenix agreed, her belly quivering nervously. "I'm not going to run away again - ever - I swear. I already apologized for trying to run last time and promised I never would again. When we talked at the hospital you told me that was my last chance. If I ever ran away from you again, we would be through."

"I know." He exhaled as if he had been holding his breath, squeezing her hand. "I have a confession to make. I feel bad that you apologized to me, like you had done something wrong, when I never told you I planned to end things with you on the roof that day."

"I know," she said, swinging their clasped hands. "I said it first because I already knew what you were thinking. I didn't want you to feel any unnecessary guilt when I knew the fear of whatever was happening to me was going to make my skittish ass bolt eventually. So it was easier to end it before I left."

If only I had given Beni the courtesy of telling him I was leaving or telling him to go to hell or something rather than just running like a cowardly jerk, she admonished herself. She exhaled noisily, frustrated with herself.

"You can be such an idiot sometimes," he sighed, elbowing her in the ribs to make her squeal and giggle. "But I love you anyway."

Her laughing died away while she massaged her ribs. Grasping his forearm with her other hand, she pulled her body into his side.

"I'm glad to hear you love me despite myself. It's one of the many things makes me love you so much," she freely admitted.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked slowing his steps as they neared the crosswalk.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine," she assured him, understanding he referred to her depression rather than walking by herself.

Letting go of her hand and turning toward her, Shinra held her face between his hands. After smiling at her, he gave her a kiss on the forehead and the tip of her nose but refrained from being scandalous enough to give her a kiss on the lips in front of all of the passersby.

"Well, I'll leave the rest to you. Please, be safe."

"I will be," she promised, foregoing social modesty to press her lips to his in broad daylight not caring who saw. She would never miss an opportunity to show she loved him. Or tell him. "I love you."

"I love you too. Later." Shinra turned on his heel to begin walking away from her.

Phoenix waved to him despite the fact he could not see her. However, he lifted his hand without turning around to return her wave. Happy butterflies flitted around in her belly. Unfortunately, nervous ones quickly took flight when she considered what she would say to her father upon seeing him.

Sorry it's been so long but I've purposely been avoiding you because I feel like a total failure and disappointment. What excuses could she possibly offer him for not coming to see him despite how many times he asked? She had been too embarrassed to face him again after going to see him to sort out the transfer.

Unpowered. That's what they called people like her. Captain Ōbi is technically unpowered, not have a pyrokinetic ability, he was far from not having power. Although she strived to be like him, she knew she could never get close to reaching his level. She had been training hard; lifting weights until her muscles simply gave out, running until she vomited, and sparring until her body was covered with cuts and bruises. Even with intense training, she knew she would never reach his level of pure brute strength and be able to smash her way through Infernals.

Perhaps I should just give up and quit. Maybe I don't deserve to be a fire soldier any longer, Phoenix thought, verging on the edge of a pity party. Stubbornly, selfishly, she did not want to leave her friends, her family. Besides, Captain Ōbi needed an administrative assistant at the very least. The paperwork had piled up to a dreadful degree while she was in the hospital.

"Phoenix?"

The voice of the confused man broke her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, hi there, Karim," she greeted the Lieutenant of the First standing in front of her. If she had kept walking before he got her attention, she would have slammed face first into his chest.

"Are you headed to the First to see the Captain?"

"I am. Where are you off to?"

"I'm running a few errands," he said, glancing around apprehensively. It wasn't like him to get nervous - ever. "Hey, uhm, I heard about your power. I'm really sorry. If there's anything, I can - "

"It's fine," she interrupted him, forcing a smile to her lips.

"Is it?" he inquired, his right eyebrow raising skeptically. His heavy lidded eyes that gave off the impression he was perpetually bored or sleepy skimmed over her from head to toe. "You look like hell. And what are you wearing?"

Phoenix was wearing the typical orange jumpsuit worn by most fire soldiers when not in turnout gear or dress uniforms. Her feet were clad in heavy, thick soled lug boots as well rather than pencil thin, sky high heels.

"Orange is definitely not your color."

"Don't spare my feelings, Karim. Tell me what you really think," she snarkily returned.

Karim smiled but only briefly. If she had blinked she would have missed it.

"Ah, there it is," he murmured, his lips straightening out into a thin line.

"What?"

"Still sassy. And a smart ass. Sassy ass. Sassy and smart assie."

"Okay I get it," she muttered irritably.

"I guess nothing could change that about you. I'm glad."

"Some people just have the ability to bring out the best in my personality," she remarked, smiling broadly at him. "Thank you for that."

"Glad I could help," he said, sidestepping her to get back to the task at hand. "I better go. If I hurry, I might be able to get back in time to chat some more before you leave."

"Yeah, that would be nice," she called after him.

After entering the office building, Phoenix was greeted warmly and with a smile - a far different reception than the one she received upon her first visit. The woman did not ask if she had an appointment either.

"Captain Burns is not expecting you, but he's not busy either," the receptionist candidly informed her. She picked up the phone. "Let me call him and tell him you're here."

"Thank you," she said, taking a seat to wait until her father was ready to see her.

"You can go back," the woman told her before she could get settled comfortably.

The butterflies of anxiety took flight again, fluttering their wings harder and faster against her insides with each step she took. Chewing her lower lip, she plodded along on heavy feet to see her father. At his door, she raised her hand to knock. Her entire hand trembled.

"Come in," her father called after she rapped on the door twice with her knuckles.

Phoenix smiled when he stood up and came from behind his desk to greet her. She held her breath as he walked toward her, his face stern and almost angry. When he put his arms around her, she exhaled with a gush to start breathing again.

"I'm so glad to see you," he said, hugging her tightly.

"I'm sorry I haven't been in touch sooner. I should have at least called," she murmured, pressing her cheek against his chest.

"I was worried about you." He backed up from her, waving her toward one the chairs while returning to sit down in his chair. "I'm glad you came to visit today. Is there something on your mind?"

"No. Yes," she corrected herself, not really sure how to explain the millions of things running around in her head. "I'm just...I'm having a difficult time with...everything. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I don't know what to do with myself now. You know?"

Leanard Burns gazed at his daughter with sympathy in his single piercing green eye, giving her an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I don't know. I can't imagine what you must be feeling or going through. I lost an eye but not my ability. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I feel so useless," he sighed, leaning back in his chair while casting a glimpse at the ceiling.

"Yeah, me too," she murmured. "I also feel like I've lost the last remaining part of mom I had. For so long I resented the phoenix, resented mom, for what she had done. I felt like she had committed suicide and cursed me all in the name of science. Then, just when I embraced the power she had given me, I lost it. That makes me really...angry. Furious actually."

Phoenix pressed her fists into her thighs. She watched her father open the top drawer to his right. Leaning forward, she gnawed on her bottom lip in anticipation. Her heart skipped a few beats when he sat the small square blue velvet box on his desk in front of her.

"I was planning on giving this to you on your birthday, but I think you need this now," he said.

Her fingers trembled as she reached out for the box. She nearly dropped the jewelry box while trying to open it. On the black velvet inside lay an oval shaped silver locket. Tiny flowers were etched into the metal around the edges and her initials in the middle. When her father saw her struggling to open the locket with her clumsy fingers, he came around to help her.

"Here," he said, handing the open locket back to her. "I hope you like it."

There was a picture of a young twenty something Leanard Burns with two almond shaped, almost cat like, emerald green eyes. His short pale blond hair had been swept straight back from his face giving it the appearance of a lion's mane. He always had looked like the beast the was nicknamed after with the heart and courage to match. He was dressed in a priest's robe.

The woman standing beside him wore a pink cardigan over a white shirt and black skirt. She looked like her daughter did now; almost the same exact face and midnight black hair. Her irises were a faded, barely blue color.

On the other side of the locket was a picture of her Aunt and Uncle. Her Aunt looked like her mother except her eyes are a rich shade of royal blue. The woman smiled at her from the picture. Her Uncle, a pleasant, rotund man wearing thin gold rimmed oval shaped glasses, his farmer's overalls, and his ever present smile, held his wife close to his side with an arm over shoulders. They were such wonderful, loving people. They did the best they could to make her feel loved while keeping her safe and protected.

"Oh, Daddy," she gasped, unaware of the tears leaking from her eyes. "It's beautiful. I love it."

"I'm glad you like it," he said, sliding the delicate silver chain from her fingers to put it around her neck. "Why don't you go see your Aunt and Uncle? It's been too long don't you think? A family reunion is long overdue. They would be happy to see you."

Phoenix could feel the heat creeping up her neck and coloring her face as well. She did not want to admit it had been years since she had even spoken to them on the phone much less gone to see them.

"I don't think they would be so happy to see me," she mumbled, touching the locket hanging over her heart.

"Of course they would. You should go," her father said, walking back around his desk. "It would do all of you some good to be together again."

Her eyes squinted with suspicion as he gazed at her evenly with his one good eye that was sharp as an arrow piercing straight through to her soul. He seemed awfully confident of how thrilled her Aunt and Uncle would be if she paid them a visit. He also appeared extremely pleased with himself as the corners of his mouth twitched with a suppressed smile.

"How can you be so sure?" she inquired, his smile appearing.

"Because I called them." He sat up straight in his chair, placing his hands clasped into one big fist on the top of his desk as if he were in a business meeting. "I know you've been struggling since the phoenix was taken from you. I called your Aunt and Uncle. We all think it is a good idea for you to return home, to get grounded, quite literally. You need to search for your identity...find out who you are all over again."

Phoenix stared at him for a long moment, considering his words.

"You really think it will help? Returning home?" she asked.

"I do," he confirmed. "Your Captain called me a few days ago. He's concerned about you. After we talked, I called your Aunt and Uncle. We all think it's a good idea for you to take a break, go home for a few weeks, maybe a month."

"A month?"

Her father nodded.

"And Auntie and Uncle are really okay with me coming home?"

"Of course. They miss you."

Guilt washed over her so profoundly she feared she might drown. Her tears fell faster and more copiously. They dripped from her chin forming wet circles on the chest of her jumpsuit.

"I-I ju-just d-don't kn-know," she stuttered hopelessly.

"You really should go see them." He inhaled a deep breath. "I have already discussed this with Captain Ōbi. He agreed to give you a month's leave. We both believe this is the best course of action to help you right now."

Leonard Burns paused, waiting for the emotional explosion. However, she remained quiet. She also did not hop up and run for the door either.

Great! Now I have not just one but TWO worried fathers, she thought, not entirely mad about the situation. How could she be angry because they genuinely cared about her?

In all of her crazy adventures, her careless running here and there, searching for something, she had found a much larger family. She had thought by finding the why behind her mother's death, she could somehow connect with her through those answers. If she understood the why, she would at last be able to mourn the woman she never knew who gave birth to her and the Fire Bird. Although she had lost something important, she had gained a lot more.

Clearing his throat and tugging at the unbuttoned collar of his shirt as if he was wearing an invisible tie that was choking him, he continued speaking.

"I've already arranged for your visit." He cringed when she inhaled sharply and turned her watery eyes on him. Bracing himself, he waited for the barrage of words.

"Are you absolutely positive Auntie and Uncle want to see me?" Phoenix asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "I wouldn't blame them if they never wanted to see me again. I mean what I did to them is inexcusable. After all, I just - "

"Stop, stop, stop," her father interrupted her, standing up again. "Like I said, everything has already been arranged. One last question needs to be answered." He took her hand in his. "Will you go?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's settled," he declared, pulling on her hand to get her to rise from the chair. "I suppose you should leave to go pack."

"Go pack?" she scoffed like it was the silliest thing she had ever heard. "Why? I won't leave for a while."

"Actually, you leave tomorrow. The eight AM train."

"What?!" she shrilled, snatching her hand from his. "Tomorrow?! 8AM?! Father, I have no time to prepare!"

Burns could not help but smile. She always reverted to calling him father when she was annoyed with him.

"What are you wearing?" he asked as if noticing for the first time she was wearing the bunker gear.

"You can't seriously just be noticing? Stop trying to distract me, Daddy," she snapped.

"Daddy? I've gone from father to daddy again?"

"Well," she huffed, folding her arms over her chest. "I love you, despite yourself you old geezer."

"I think a lot of the people would second that emotion about you," he remarked with a wry grin. "You're not the easiest person to care about either."

"Touché, father," she quipped, smiling at him. "I'm not angry you did all of this behind my back. Just surprised."

Phoenix pushed up on her tiptoes but still could not reach his cheek to give him a peck. The lug soles on her boots did not offer the height her high heeled shoes did. Taking both his hands in hers, she pulled until he bent down so she could give him that kiss of gratitude.

"Thank you, Daddy."

Looking down at her, he recalled the pictures of the five year old little her Aunt and Uncle had sent him. Her long hair was pulled up in twin tails and tied with large red bows. A big grin on her face. She had always looked just like her mother. As he looked at the eye patch with flames and the number eight etched into the leather, he realized for the first time in her life, she was beginning to look like him. Her single almond shaped eye, free of the heavy black eyeliner, blinked at him.

"I'll do anything I can to help you. I am your father after all."

She flung her arms around him and hugged him.

"And I'm so happy about that." She gasped, suddenly remembering what she needed to do next. "I need to go tell Shinra." Recalling their conversation from earlier made her heart sink. She would be gone a month! Surely he would think she was panicking and taking flight once more. "I gotta go!"

Her father watched her take off like a shot. She was out of the door to his office before he took a step toward it. All of that working out was doing her good. She was much faster on her feet than she ever was while possessing her pyrokinetic power. Perhaps she relied too much on the phoenix. That would explain why she felt so bereft and insecure as if she had lost her entire identity.

Burns stood in the hallway, watching her run as if her life depended on it. Maybe it did.

"Hi, Karim!" Phoenix called out to the Lieutenant with his arms loaded down with purchases as she passed him.

"Hi, Phoenix. Can we - "

Without looking back, she hollered, "Bye, Karim!"

"H-hey!" he stammered, twisting around to watch her run. "I thought we could - " He watched her take a hard left, disappearing out of the door. "Talk."

"I see you're back," Burns said, coming to stand beside him. "That was a quick trip. Did you get everything?"

"Yes, Sir. Everything on the list. Where is she off to in such a hurry? I was hoping to get a chance to catch up with her. It's been a while since she visited."

"Yes, it has," the Captain agreed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "It will be a while longer before she comes back. That girl is off on an important mission."

When Phoenix returned, she ran into the house sweating and panting, finding everyone in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner.

"You're late," Captain Ōbi announced for everyone to hear.

"But we saved you some food," Iris said, pointing to the dishes covered in plastic wrap sitting on the prep table.

"Thanks," she puffed, wiping the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. "Is it okay if I get a shower first?"

"Sure thing," the Captain replied. "The food will be here waiting for you."

Phoenix trotted off down the hall then backed up to poke her head back into the kitchen. Everyone was there except Shinra and Arthur.

"Where is Shinra?" she asked, her belly rolling uncertainly.

"He and Arthur went up to the roof to spar a bit," Iris answered, rolling up her sleeves to begin washing dishes.

"We have an important mission coming up," Tamaki added, handing Iris the scrub brush.

Everyone's head whipped toward Tamaki. All noise and movement halted. The atmosphere in the small room grew electric with tension.

"What?" she murmured, glancing around at everyone.

"Mission? What mission?" Phoenix questioned them, casting a glimpse at her Captain.

Ōbi inhaled sitting the stack of dishes beside the sink. He kept his eyes on the floor as he walked toward her.

"Come with me," he said, taking her by the arm. He led her to the office and closed the door. "I take it you talked to your father about visiting your Aunt and Uncle."

"I did. What mission?" she repeated.

Rather than going around his desk, he sat down in one the chairs positioned at the front.

"Sit down, Phoenix."

Gladly. Her knees had turned to jelly anyway. Too many deep discussions had taken place today and they weren't over yet. And she still needed to speak with Shinra. Placing her hands in her lap, twiddling her thumbs, she waited for the Captain to speak.

"Are you going? Your father and I talked about - "

"Yes," she cut him off to avoid wasting time. "I know you talked about it and planned the entire trip without asking me first and that's fine. I want to go. I know I need to see them and make amends. Please, sir, tell me...what mission?"

"We're going back into the Nether," he stated succinctly. "The White Clads are on the move again, and we need to stop them."

Phoenix's throat seemed to close up, shutting off the air to her lungs. Her mouth dropped opened in shock. She must have went pale by the way the Captain looked at her, putting on his official worried face with his eyebrows forming a unibrow shaped like a V, his jaw set and twitching at his ears.

"Now, Fifi," he said, standing up to pace the floor behind her.

Although he used the nickname she had dearly hated once, it no longer bothered her. It was a sign of affection, caring, after all. He had not called her that in a while. She could not help but smile. Her lips quivered.

"Before you even begin to argue with me, I want you to know, we did not purposely plan to send you away. The timing just happened to coincide when Licht received the intel. I cannot allow you to stay and join the mission because..." He paused trying to figure out the best way to explain.

Phoenix swallowed convulsively, choking on her pride. She did not ask why he did not want her to go. There was no reason for her to come along because she would only be dead weight at this point, a hindrance, having no ability to wield vanquishing flames anymore. Meeting Ōbi's gaze, she knew her skills as an unpowered human were not good enough yet either to save herself much less anyone else. She is well aware of these irrefutable facts which made them even more difficult to swallow - quite literally.

"...I cannot allow that to happen. Therefore, in good conscience, I will not permit you to be a part of this mission," he was saying when she tuned back in.

Unfortunately, she had not heard a word of what she was sure had been an awkward and wandering explanation because how the hell can he spare her feelings when telling her she would put her crewmates in more danger if she was there?

"It's fine, Sir. I understand."

"You what?" he asked, startled by her calm reaction.

"I agree. It would not be good for me to come along. It's better I leave. I will be worried sick about all of you no matter where I am."

"You really aren't the same person since..." He stopped speaking, massaging the back of his neck self-consciously.

"No, I'm not," she agreed, giving him an out not to continue. Everyone tried to avoid talking about the subject of the absentee Fire Bird. She sighed. "I'm confused and not sure what to think so I'm positive everyone else is too. But it's okay to talk about it. It's okay to say when the phoenix left or was taken or flew away or whatever. She's gone, and I'm not getting her back." She shrugged, her eyes meeting her Captain's. "I don't know, it's strange. To be perfectly honest, I don't think I want her back."

"Hmmm," he murmured pensively, his thumping heavy steps halting behind her. "I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"You're not half as surprised as I am that I actually feel that way," she said, standing up and turning to face him. "I'm still going to see my Aunt and Uncle. I know I shouldn't be here while all of you are preparing for such an important mission. I'm just...I'm just sorry I can't be of any use."

"I...I just don't know what to say to that."

"You don't have to say anything, Sir. Is it okay if I go take a shower?"

"Of course."

Phoenix thrust her head under the spray of the water to wash away the shampoo. Hopefully all of her cares would disappear down the drain with the suds. She just wanted to stop thinking about everything for tonight at least. Turning her back to the water, she placed her hands on the walls of the shower stall to brace herself. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the jets of water pelting her back.

She did not see the feet of the person appear in front of the half door of the stall. The sound of the water prevented her from hearing the click of the door when it was opened. Not until the fingers touched her shoulder did she become aware of his presence.

She screamed, and her eyes popped open. The hand of her unexpected visitor covered her mouth to muffle her shriek before the entire company came running. Although her eyes were open, the sheer terror did not allow her brain to register that she was looking at Shinra.

"Hey, shhh, it's me," he said, pushing his face close to hers as if that would help her see better. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to surprise you."

"Mmmph," she groaned, slumping against the back wall in relief. When Shinra removed his hand, she said, "Oh, I'm definitely surprised. What are you thinking sneaking in here? You know we'll get in trouble if we're caught."

"If we're caught...whatever punishment I get, it would be worth it," he murmured, pulling her forward into his arms.

"I have to tell you something."

"Captain Ōbi already told me what's happening."

"I'm not running away, Shinra," she hurriedly told him, pushing away from him so she could look into his eyes. "For the first time in my life, I'm running to something...to someone."

"I know. I understand," he said, taking her face between his hands to keep her eyes focused on his. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad you'll be far away."

"I'll be so worried about you though," she said, her chest compressing around her lungs and heart making it difficult to breathe. Her arms twisted around his neck, holding him close, her naked breasts flattening against his bare chest. Only then did she become away he was naked too.

"Don't you waste your time worrying about me. Nothing will happen to me. I'll be here waiting for you when you return," he promised her.

"You better be."

"But before you go..." He lowered his lips to hers, inadvertently pushing their heads under the water.

Phoenix savored the gentle kiss, concentrating on the sensation of his soft lips pressing to hers. The water running down their faces hid her tears, rinsing them away without a trace. She pressed her hand to his cheek, keeping his face still as she tilted her head to offset their lips. She kissed his top lip, then the bottom, before pressing her mouth squarely to his.

Shinra's hands traveled down her back. His large hands grasped her behind. Her legs automatically enclosed his waist as he lifted her, pressing her back into the wall when he entered her.

The water bounced off of his head, splashing both of their faces. It was like making love under a waterfall, transporting them to a different place where only the two of them existed.

Sliding her lips from his, she brushed them across his cheek on the way to his ear. Her arms went around his neck to cling more securely to him while he glided her up and down the wall with each back and forth movement of his hips.

"Shinra," she whispered in his ear. "I love you so much."

"I love you with all of my heart, Phoenix."

He raised his head to look at her. Cupping her cheek, he pushed forward, thrusting as deeply as he could. The ever increasing flames in the deepest part of his body burst into an inferno watching her eyes roll back while the groan of pleasure slipped from her slightly parted lips.

"Mmmm," he moaned in returned, pressing his forehead to her chin as his hips rocked faster.

"Damn," she grunted when he thrust forward with all of his might, bracing his hands on the wall on either side of her hips. "I will definitely remember this for the next month."

Shinra covered her mouth with his to muffle her rhythmic groans as much to kiss her while they neared a simultaneous orgasm. When the end came, he grasped her hips, holding her tightly because his knees buckled. Despite his weak knees and convulsions of pleasure, both his and hers, he managed a controlled glide down to the floor to avoid either of them getting hurt. He lowered his lips from hers, pressing his forehead between her breasts.

Phoenix's hands stroked his back while he struggled to catch his breath. His ribcage expanded and contracted noticeably under her fingertips. Her hands skimmed up his spine to the back of his neck, sliding around to cup his cheeks. Lifting his chin upward, her soft lips pressed numerous kisses to his forehead then his cheeks.

"That was amazing," she breathed.

"I wanted to put a smile on your face," he said, his fingertips caressing her hips. "You don't smile as much anymore."

"I know," she admitted. "But I'll be fine." She pressed her palm over the scar on his chest. His brother's sword had barely missed his heart. "We'll be fine. You will be here waiting for me when I get back, right?"

"Yeah, I will," he promised, giving her a brief kiss on the kiss as if to seal the deal. "And I'll make love to you again to remind you how much I love you."

"I'll hold you to that promise."

"Good."