Chapter 4 – Hold part 2

"H-hello?" Botan's voice was hoarse as she cracked open the door barely an inch, allowing only a thin sliver of light in from the hallway.

"Botan," Kurama greeted gently, swallowing down the lump in his throat that had built up. At the sound of his voice, the door suddenly swung wide open, revealing a gaunt and sickly-looking Botan, clad in a cerulean cotton robe and a pink facemask.

"Kurama!" She cried excitedly, almost startling the kitsune at the bright tone in her voice. "What are you doing here?"

Her cheeriness was unexpected as he'd assumed she would still be upset with him. True, a month had gone by, but that was nothing to ancient beings like a reigen or an old youkai. It would have been more than understandable for Botan to begrudge Kurama for a long while.

Yet there she was, standing before him, smiling behind her mask.

"I-" Kurama started but was cut off as the deity grasped his hand and pulled him into her apartment, shutting the door behind them and removing her mask.

"I'm so happy to see you," she cried. "It's been so long since anyone visited. Nobody wants to catch my flu. But since you're youkai you're immune!"

Kurama chuckled lightly, "So I'd heard." He glanced around the warmly lit apartment, as Botan mumbled something about cocoa and walked toward her kitchen. The apartment was spacious with an open floor plan, the blue and white striped walls were decorated with photographs and gold mirrors, sconces with candles, and several bookshelves. There were tufted, floral sofas in front of the balcony windows, and a fire lit in the white fireplace. There were quite a few photos of people Kurama didn't recognize, a few ferry girls, and even a few soldiers.

The kitsune stared pointedly at a particular photo of Botan sitting next to a man clad in uniform, both of them were smiling warmly, pink-tinged their cheeks and noses, and each of them held a clear glass of some liquid. The soldier's other hand was out of view behind Botan. The image invoked something covetous within him. There was no way to date the photo, it could have been from yesterday o a hundred years before.

But before Kurama could even begin to put his questions together, the sound of shattering china broke the silence. He whipped his head towards the kitchen to see Botan crumpled on the floor. He flitted to her side in an instant and pulled her away from the glass.

"Ah, sorry," she mumbled breathlessly, one pale hand clutched to her chest. "I got a little…dizzy there. I can…clean it. Just need a moment."

Kurama shushed her and assured her that there was no need and that he was happy to pick it up. He grasped her hand delicately and frowned at the feeling. Her skin was still soft, but not warm and plump as before, now in its place was clammy, thin skin barely covering the tissue beneath it. His emerald eyes traveled upward to her face and found it void of its pink hue, her cheekbones were hollow and her eyes were tired, glassy, and dark. Instinctively, his hand went up to her forehead. She sighed at the touch, her lids drifted close and she leaned into his warmth.

"Botan," he murmured worriedly, "You're burning up."

She hummed weakly in agreement, "I figured." The slight rush of adrenaline that had taken over upon Kurama's arrival had long since passed and when he tried to help her up she found absolutely no strength to stand. She could not even muster a protest when he lifted her into his arms. A groan escaped her as her head fell back over his arm, too weak to lift her neck. But he adjusted her so that her head could rest against his chest.

He stilled, basking in her closeness. But only a moment before he recovered and carried her towards the only open room, guessing correctly that it would be her bedroom.

Through the darkness, Kurama could see an unmade bed with a white headboard and a matching nightstand with a small gold lamp set upon it. He laid Botan into her bed, covering her with the soft comforter. While she lay resting Kurama searched her apartment for medicine, though he was unsure as to what medicine Reikai might even have to offer. Thankfully, Botan had a good combination of modern medication and herbal remedies in her pantry, or at least enough so that Kurama could give her a couple of pain pills and tea to remedy her fever and aid in the healing process.

A troubling find was how little sustenance there was in the apartment, it was no wonder she was so thin. He managed to find enough to put together a vegetable broth and some toast to go along with the tea.

Setting the tray down on the nightstand he switched the lamp on and gently woke her. She frowned and blinked heavily, groaning again as he helped her sit upright to eat and drink her tea. He fed her spoonful after spoonful of broth, lifted the tea to her mouth, and when he placed the pills in her mouth he let his fingers linger on her lips before helping her with more tea.

When she'd had her fill and had finished the tea, Kurama tucked the deity back into bed and rose to return to the kitchen.

He mused over the events whilst cleaning the dishes, smirking inwardly at how differently things had gone. The questions were still unanswered, and the discussion he wished to have was still tabled for now, but he was happy to be with her again. Happier still because she hadn't turned him away and that had to be a good sign.

Kurama returned to her room a short while later to lay a cool rag on her head and shut off the light.

Botan reached out to gently pinch the sleeve of his sweater, "Don't go, okay?"

The next few days were relatively similar and passed by quietly. Kurama made his excuses for work, returning home only briefly to clear things up for the week, though he wasn't sure exactly how long he'd be. Botan was optimistic, it was her third time ever catching the Reigen flu and, according to her, she expected this particular bout to finish a lot sooner than her previous bouts.

"My first time lasted six months," she explained from the bathtub while Kurama stood outside the bathroom, leaning up against the wall and staring a hole into the ceiling. "The second time I caught it was for three months. It's only been a month but I'm already starting to feel better."

"That's good to hear," Kurama mused, smiling genuinely to himself. The sound of water pouring down the drain made him stand up straight and wait until she called out to him.

She let out a few soft grunts as she struggled to stand, the sound of her hand slapping wetly against the wall as she pressed her weight against it concerned Kurama and made him call out, "Don't strain yourself. I'm here to help."

Botan grunted, "I know…" After finally managing to stand she huffed heavily, trying to catch her breath before pulling on her bathrobe. Her hands were shaking far too much from exertion so she clutched it closed as best she could to cover her nakedness. "O-okay, you can come in."

Kurama smiled proudly when he walked in, "You managed to stand up on your own this time. Great job!" Botan blushed darkly and nodded mutely.

She could never get used to his assistance with getting in and out of the bath. He'd offered even to bathe her but she'd refused, though the thought did stir something deep in her core she couldn't bear it. Every night while she bathed he would wait just outside, in case of an emergency, and then she would dry herself off sitting down and donning her robe so he could carry her back to her bed.

"I wanted…to try," she said breathlessly.

"You've done a commendable job, I'm proud of you," Kurama replied while tying the robe closed for her. He helped her out of the tub but swept her into his arms when her knees buckled.

Once back on her bed Kurama proceeded to brush her hair, something that always made her giggle but he was just as used to it as she was due to his long hair. The feeling of his calloused fingers gently running the brush through her blue clocks was soothing, the occasional stroke of his hand against her neck or ear sent little shivers, and it was overall more than pleasant.

"Kurama," she said after he'd completed the task. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry to have pulled you away from home. I know you said it's okay, but I feel guilty for being so helpless."

He squeezed her hand gently, stroking the warm flesh with his thumb absentmindedly before replying.

"I don't mind, truly. It's like helping a little bird with a damaged wing." They both chuckled softly.

"So I'm your bird, am I?" Botan teased, "I guess I don't mind that."

The two shared a breathy laugh that faded into a comfortable silence. Kurama's emerald gaze fell to their joint hands. He pondered over her admission of guilt. His guilt from their last encounter had not been forgotten and, if anything, had been sitting just below the surface festering.

"You mentioned guilt," he said, "but I too have guilt that needs to be addressed. Honestly, it's part of why I came to see you."

Kurama released her and rose from the bed, standing a few feet away to gaze upon her as he spoke.

Botan frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

"The last time we saw one another," he continued, "when we drank and I…dragged you into bed with me. I don't know what overcame me, to be honest, and there is no excuse whatsoever. I understand that you avoided me because of it. And I'm sorry for my actions."

A pregnant pause filled the room; the air between them became thick as Botan opened and shut her mouth silently, repeatedly, unable to find her words.

"Of course," Kurama said quickly, "that isn't to say my caring for you while you're unwell is to try and make up for that night. I would care for you no matter what. When I woke up and found you gone it made sense to just…stay away, give you distance since that was what you needed."

"Kurama," Botan's lips lifted in a sympathetic smile. "That's not why I left that morning."

The kitsune blinked, "What?"

The bluenette chuckled lightly, "I woke up running a fever so I headed home. I left a note…oh, wait…" She turned thoughtfully towards her nightstand and pulled out a small pocket-sized notebook from the drawer. "Whoops, I guess I forgot to leave it." She pulled a piece of paper and motioned for Kurama to take it from betwixt her fingers.

He hesitated for a breadth of a second before taking it and reading it silently.

'Kurama, I woke up with a fever. I think I'm catching the flu. Going to head home to rest, see you soon!

-Botan'

"Fever brain," Botan giggled nervously. "I must've forgotten it."

Kurama could have cackled. All this time and he'd been kicking and torturing himself for having hurt her, assuming she hated him and never wanted to see him again. But she hadn't abandoned him, simply left because she was unwell. This whole time.

"So you don't regret…that night?" The question left his lips before he could help it.

"What is there to regret?" She smiled serenely and scooted over to the other side of her bed, patting the empty spot beside her to welcome him. He sat next to her hesitantly, dropping the note onto her nightstand. "We've slept in the same space before, never as close as that. But… what's wrong with snuggling up together? Friends need cuddles sometimes, right?"

He uncharacteristically snorted but nodded in agreement. "I'm not sure I might have agreed before that night, honestly."

"Oh," Botan said thoughtfully. "Well, there's a first time for everything."

"True."

A hush fell over them, ebbing into a familiar and comfortable silence. Kurama had been comfortable sleeping on the couch the past few nights, but couldn't find it in him to deny the invitation to sleep beside her again. With the light shut off, he nestled next to her and closed his eyes, but only for a moment as her voice broke the silence.

"Have you been beating yourself up this whole time?"

He chuckled, "Tormenting myself. Throwing myself into work and spending time with the others to pass the days."

"Silly," she teased. "You could have just tried the communicator. Borrowed it from Yusuke or something."

"I thought you needed space," he responded.

"Silly," she repeated. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I'll let you know when you've been a jerk or something."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Okie-dokie!"

They laughed again before drifting into a sound sleep with Botan nestled under Kurama's arm and head upon his chest.

The next few days passed by quickly. Botan gained her strength quickly under Kurama's care and he'd even stepped back home to collect some Makai herbs that seemed to aid in her progressive healing. Botan even took a sample to the lead doctor in Reikai.

Kurama waited for her return in her apartment, they planned to return to Ningenkai together before she resumed her head ferry girl duties.

She'd been gone only an hour when the kitsune felt the familiar energy of Koenma approaching. Before the young king could even knock, Kurama opened the door.

"Ah," Koenma stated flatly. "Ayame mentioned you might be here."

"Yes," Kurama replied, "Botan was here alone and very sick. She needed some care."

"Indeed."

Koenma stepped into the apartment and sighed, "It's been a while since I've seen her and had heard she'd taken ill. I'd hoped to cheer her up but it seems you may have already accomplished that."

Kurama eyed him closely, curious as to why his tone and energy felt so…aggressive.

"Yes," he mused aloud after a beat, "being the new king you must be busy." The king turned towards him, sucking on his pacifier in apparent annoyance, Kurama's eyes fell to it with his eyes twinkling in amusement.

Koenma was in teenage form, the JR on his forehead still present but faded somehow, and did he seem…taller?

The king shifted uncomfortably, "Well, a new government can't establish itself." Kurama nodded slowly in response, aware of the growing awkward tension in the room. "Anyway," Koenma sighed suddenly and sat upon one of the soft cushions. "Has she been gone long?"

"An hour," the kitsune responded. "I was thinking of making some tea, would you like some?"

"You've made yourself quite at home, I see," Koenma scoffed, but accepted the offer.

While Kurama busied himself with the tea Koenma stood to study Botan's bookshelf, chuckling at a particular title and removing it to flip it open. "She definitely stole this," he called out, lifting it to show Kurama. "This book is older than I am!"

Scarlet brows rose, disappearing into his bangs. Koenma confessed that a majority of the older books on the shelves were most likely obtained with a five-finger-discount, which surprised Kurama. He hadn't known Botan to be so thrifty. He'd absolutely have to tease her about it later.

Once the tea was finished, Kurama handed the king a cup and saucer. Koenma, whose attitude seemed to have warmed, thanked him and turned to look at the photos on the mantel.

"Wow," Koenma whistled, "I forgot about him. I'm surprised she still has this up…with you around."

Kurama frowned, "What?"

The brunette motioned to the photo of Botan with the man.

"Who is that?"

"He was a soldier back in the day," Koenma stated after a sip of his tea. "He's dead. About 400 years now. I don't even remember his name, but he and Botan were close."

"Boyfriend?"

Koenma shrugged, "There were rumors. But he died and she threw herself into ferrying. She was a pretty fresh ferry in that picture."

"How did he die?" Koenma shrugged in response and suggested he ask Botan for further detail. Then, a comment Koenma had made irked the kitsune, "What did you mean 'with me around?'"

"Well," the king said smugly, "there is clearly something going on between the two of you. Isn't there?"

The question hung heavily in the silence between them. Koenma's tone had been decidedly cold and accusatory, like an angry father scolding his daughter's boyfriend.

The silence was broken when Koenma set his cup and saucer on the coffee table, stepping closer to the kitsune.

'Definitely taller,' Kurama thought.

"And if there is?"

Koenma's face went red, "Then you should know there are laws, Kurama. Laws that bind Botan to this realm that could have dire consequences when broken. You could escape unscathed but she would not."

Kurama sighed, knowing that without a confession of some sort Koenma would not divulge.

"I'm sure you'll be relieved to know nothing is going on," he said. "We're just friends."

Koenma glared but seemed to relax, "Ugh."

"I don't suppose you'll tell me more about any of these laws you mentioned. Or more about the man in the photo."

"Not a chance," Koenma replied. "But I'm glad that you two aren't…doing anything."

"But not glad we're close?"

Koenma rolled his eyes, "It's just another thing off my overflowing plate. I worry about her, that's all."

Kurama grinned, "You've nothing to worry about. I don't even think I'm capable of romantic love."

The brunette quirked a brow, "Then I would hope you and she never cross that line. I'd hate to see her hurt."

"I agree."

It wasn't much longer before Botan returned, full of color and cheer. She was overjoyed to see Koenma and they ended up spending a few hours together before Koenma had to return to his duties. He bid them goodbye, casting a slight sneer at Kurama before leaving. Botan had missed the look, but Kurama was glad for it.

The conversation he'd had with the king had initiated more questions and Kurama's thoughts turned to the file he'd pilfered. During his first trip back home he'd locked the file in his office drawer and he was very much looking forward to reading it and learning more about Botan.

"Are you ready?" Botan's sweet, gentle voice pulled him away from his thoughts. She stood on her balcony, oar in hand.

"Sure," he replied, closing the door behind him.

Thank you guys so much for your patience! I wasn't sure about the last bit of this chapter, but I felt like the conversation needed to happen. Of course, Koenma would be aware of Botan and Kurama getting close from an early stage. I always imagine Koenma as a father figure to Botan, so it seemed kind of natural.

I know I stated it in my previous chapter, but the future of my other KxB fic will be very different and I'll actually be changing a lot and removing some chapters. This fic is shaping into something more than I'd expected, but I hope you guys like the slow burn! I'm a glutton for feedback, both positive and negative, so I hope to hear from y'all!