(A/N: A rom-com episode/chapter! No villains doesn't mean no trouble! Cue the Japanese intro!)
Nightwing had on an over-the-top silver headdress and cuirass and had donned the finest regal Tamaranean purple gown. Face-to-face and hand-in-hand with him was Starfire. Her attire was reminiscent of her fake wedding with Glgrdsklechhh staged by then-nemesis Blackfire. Except, her dress had more detailing made of gemstones excavated from the planet's caves. Her headpiece was just as extravagantly tall as Nightwing's.
The couple had their lips locked, hands held palm-to-palm. It was as if, for that brief moment, all they could see, feel, and hear, was each other.
The focus shifted from the couple to Sarah at the back of the atrium, her eyes and jaws widening with shock.
Harrowing and panicked screams filled the Palatial Atrium, with Tamaraneans running amok.
Somewhere among the noise was a heady Cyborg - figuratively and literally. His separated body parts were scattered all over the venue, being tossed in the air by Tamaraneans.
While Cyborg's dismembered and sundered flesh-and-bot parts were up in the air, a green, fox-sized Tamaranean animal was scampering on the polished floor, somehow avoiding being stomped on despite having a white veil over his face. Finally, he was unintentionally kicked out amidst the frenzy.
Disoriented, Gar transformed back into his human form, on the floor, dizzy-eyed, his toned muscles showing... naked, his figurative fox fortunately covered by the thin veil.
Bzzt. Time stilled, paused on the chaos taking place in the Palatial Atrium.
Via voiceover, breaking the fourth wall, Raven muttered, "So... uh... You may be wondering how in Azar's name we ended up in this predicament...
"It all started with a weary me somehow roped in as Starfire's... er... Son of a Gun."
The entire scene rewinded to the moments before the Titans and Sarah touched down on Tamaran.
"Tamaran from afar has pretty stunning colors," Sarah commented, her face pressed up against the T-Ship window, amazed by the planet's hues of whitish pink and magenta.
"Can you please keep your excitement down and save your comments for the tour guide?" uttered Raven accompanied by a deflated groan as she skimmed a lengthy to-do list.
The list was titled 'Sanuh F'gan (a.k.a. Maid of Honor)'.
Raven had her nose on the paper, moving further down the list.
"It is highly aesthetic, is it not?" Starfire responded to Sarah, eager to see her fellow Tamaraneans and introduce Sarah to them and vice versa. "I am filled with the jubilance that you and friend Raven agreed to be my Sanuh F'gans in my matrimony!"
Raven's pupils rolled up, still unable to not hear 'Son of a Gun' after cheeky remarks from Cyborg.
"I'm not much of an event planner," the half-demon reminded Starfire.
"Still! It is an honor to be entrusted with the duties of a Sanuh F'gan, fulfilling our commitment to best-friendship and sisterhood!"
"Star, we're already best friends."
Starfire giggled. "Precisely! That is the spirit!"
Cyborg's voice entered the intercom.
"Landing in ten!"
Raven sighed, repeating to herself, "Do it for Starfire and Nightwing. Treat this like any ordinary mission... Meditation. Planning. Execution."
The T-Ship landed. Nightwing, examining the new developments of Tamaran's largest and Starfire's birth city, pointed out, "They sure rebuilt this place good ever since the War for Tamaran against Lady Volgaar."
What used to be conical houses became cylindrical towers, made with refined Gordanian metal alloy from the Gordanian fleet ships destroyed during the war. Muddy terrain transformed into rectified infrastructure.
Gar spotted a familiar face out the window.
"Dude, it's your bro!"
An ecstatic Starfire squealed as Wildfire waved at them. And as soon as it was safe to alight the T-Ship, she raced to hug him.
"Welcome back, Koriand'r."
"Brother, I have missed you," replied Starfire as she let go and introduced Wildfire to first-time visitor Sarah.
After reintroductions, Wildfire led the way towards the reconstructed and improved Royal Palace.
Gar, walking beside Cyborg, took out his camcorder and commented, "What a gallant glow-up!"
Wildfire urged, "Quick, my friends, there is much to do before the big matrimonial ceremony of my sister and Nightwing, née Robin."
"Robin's not my birth name. I hope you understand my real identity's off-limits."
"Are the last transmissions I have received from the Royal Palace correct in that you are not the current Grand Ruler?" Starfire asked.
"Correct, sister! I have bequeathed that title to Tharras and Salja. They have proven themselves to not only possess indomitable willpower, but sheer selfless leadership as well. They look forward to seeing you again."
"Likewise!"
As the group almost reached the Royal Palace, Wildfire hesitantly asked, "Have you heard from Komand'r?"
Starfire's shoulders slumped.
"I am afraid not." She lifted her shoulders back up. "But never the mind. It is understood that she would be elated for me."
Wildfire stopped in front of the gates. They had arrived, with Gar obnoxiously recording the exterior, behind him an exasperated Raven, still going through the list.
The visitors were first taken to a homecoming musical performance, which mainly consisted of horns and percussions.
The final seven-note melody was played and the visitors applauded.
"That last bit was quite catchy," Sarah whispered to Raven.
"Agree to disagree," Raven muttered with mild agitation. "At least it wasn't deafening."
Cyborg quietly added to his girlfriend, "You have no idea how unpleasant the music was during the first wedding we attended."
Gar, still recording, chuckled. "You're just too nervous to enjoy the performance, Raven!"
"Not helping."
Wildfire stood up. "I shall escort you all to your respective quarters; separate individual chambers for sister and Nightwing."
Two Tamaraneans in royal wear approached the group, and Starfire flew to them with glee.
"Grand Rulers Tharras and Salja!" she greeted after yelling at them - one of the several traditional Tamaranean customs they culturally carried over. "I distinctly remember Grand Ruler Tharras as the one who led me to Wildfire during the Gordanian overthrow, and Grand Ruler Salja as one of the leading fighters on the courtyard."
Whilst Starfire was in conversation with the Grand Rulers, Wildfire brought the rest of the crew to their rooms.
"Please, have a good sleep," Wildfire said as he brought Cyborg and Sarah to their rooms first. "There is much to accomplish and experience before the matrimonial."
Raven rolled up her paper, telling Gar, "You might want to end that recording. I'm going to need all the shuteye to be able to have everything in place during my rounds tomorrow."
All the doors - or what looked like doors - shut as they all got ready for sleep.
After hours of restful - restless for Raven - sleep...
"Moonrise and moonshine, Raven!"
Gar's loud wake-up greeting made a few strands of Raven's hair stand on their ends as she had her attention on her to-do list disrupted.
"And good... um... moon-morning to you Beast Bums!" Gar greeted into his camcorder.
Raven stopped herself from clenching the list in her fists. With restraint and her back still to him, she muttered, "Take your vlog business elsewhere. And I don't think you understand the meaning of moonshi-"
"Okay, Rae!" Gar opened their room's door-like entrance. "I'll hang with Cy! He's probably at the buffet..."
"Remember to try on your refitted garb before the big day," Raven reminded as she heard the 'door' shut. She returned her full attention to the list.
Flustered by her meticulous preparation, she uttered her chant.
"Thanks to Blackfire not being here, and thanks to Starfire still choosing me despite having Wildfire, I have to do all this..." she murmured. "... But I do want to do this properly..."
From within her cloak, she pulled out her mirror for meditation. Checking out her reflection, she realised she'd accumulated eye bags.
"I need to collect my thoughts..." The mirror began to glow. "... and my emotions."
In the abyssal landscape of her mind, with what used to be fragmented levitating rock bridges now connected and refined into a more orderly structure, in the center lay a roundtable of Raven's several aspects of herself.
Seated in a particular order, with the real Raven in the middle of the semi-circle silver table, and to each of her immediate sides were yellow-cloaked Knowledge and pink-cloaked Passion, the rest also sat, creating an alternative rainbow variation. Brown-cloaked Sloth and orange-cloaked Rudeness were delegated to the very ends.
"We need to get this in order before the matrimonial," Passion began.
Knowledge scanned her fellow lookalikes. "Our research into the customs is complete and the resources are all gathered - "
"Then why am I beside the pigsty?" interrupted red-cloaked Rage with a bang on the table, the other hand used to point at Sloth to her left.
With conviction, Passion asserted, "Because, although Tamaraneans have a lineage and customs of warriors, it is a common misconception that they are fueled exclusively by rage. In fact, they are empowered by their emotions in general."
"And Passion is best suited in that case," Knowledge rationalized.
Green-cloaked Bravery jumped from her chair, declaring, "But I express a lot of strong outward emotion. Passion is more inward, like Timidity. No offense."
Grey-cloaked Timidity shook her head and shrunk. "It's okay."
Rudeness rolled her eyes and drawled, "God, stoooop with the mental-emotional politics..."
The real Raven spoke, "As useless as Rudeness is gonna be for the rest of our duties as Star's Maid of Honor, she's right. Let's not get distracted - "
"How can we not when the Grand Rulers' welcome performance was insanely catchy?!" The pink-cloaked Happiness spun around from her seat, conjured up a spinet piano and began playing a boogie-woogie adaptation of the seven-note jingle-ish final musical piece Raven had heard the other day, unable to get it off her subconscious.
An exasperated Raven was about to dematerialise the piano, but Rage beat her to it.
"Where's the full-on battle like the last wedding?!" Rage demanded.
Knowledge explained, "That battle was for the crown, not the groom."
Passion reiterated, "We can't let Starfire and Nightwing down. They deserve this moment. The Grand Rulers and all of Tamaran want this celebration."
The real Raven added, "Statistically, something will undoubtedly go wrong, but we need as few of those occurrences as possible."
"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail," quoted Knowledge.
Rudeness yawned. "Won't Starfire be content even if it goes up in flames?"
They heard an obnoxious, tired groaning from the end of the table, and all Ravens turned heads to watch Sloth slobber all over the to-do list.
Raven groaned out of mild frustration as Knowledge and Passion began to finally settle things in order.
"Check out these adorable Tamaranean pets, dudes and dudettes," Gar squealed into his camera before introducing the dark juniper-colored eyeless fox-sized creatures on leashes. "I wonder if they use echolocation to get around - oof!"
Gar fell backwards, catching his camera on the way down. Massaging his nose, he looked up at Cyborg, carrying a nauseous Sarah in his arms.
"Cy? Sarah? What's the matter?" Gar followed Cyborg and watched Sarah, her hair concealing her face.
She moaned, sickly. "Walk slower, Vic. I think I'm gonna puke."
Cyborg explained, "Either alien food allergies, or she ingested something that wasn't alien food, so I'm taking her to our room."
On the way, he grabbed a handful of canape-like food and chowed down, to both Sarah and Gar's disgust.
Sarah tapped Cyborg's metallic shoulder, "Stop. I got this. I can still walk and I know my way back. You and Gar hang."
Cyborg set Sarah down as she sickeningly sauntered toward their room. That left Gar and Cyborg in the hallway outside the dining hall.
Then, a group of masculine-presenting Tamaraneans emerged out of the other end of the hallway on the way to dine, stopping in front of the Titans.
A couple of them began speaking to the Earthlings, to their confusion. They appeared jovial, friendly, and boisterous.
Gar flailed his arms at them. "Dudes! We don't know what you're saying!"
The Tamaraneans looked at one another. One of them shrugged, and proceeded to grab Gar by the collar, pulling the panicked changeling towards him, puckering up.
Cyborg pulled Gar back, halting the kiss.
"Fortunately for you, I learned a bit of Tamaranean from Star. Remember?"
The Tamaraneans rambled on, Cyborg listening intently.
"I didn't catch everything, but I picked up the words 'drinks', 'party' and 'dark side of the moon'..."
Gar rubbed his chin, thinking hard.
"Do they want to drink and party with us til the night?"
Just then, the burly Tamaraneans grabbed goblets filled with consumable liquids and handed two to the Titans.
Gar sniffed and almost gagged. Cyborg, on the other hand, downed his straight away, and absolutely loved it.
"Woooo man! That's got my juices flowing!"
One of their new friends directly asked Cyborg something, though he didn't pick up everything he asked.
"Are you the to-be-wed for this matrimonial event?!" the new friend asked in Tamaranean.
"What's he sayin'?"
Cyborg shrugged. "I only recognized the words for 'you' and 'event', so I guess he's asking if we're gonna be at the ceremony."
Cyborg proceeded to reply 'yes' to the Tamaraneans, to their collective jubilance. They proceeded to give Cyborg another helping of the drink and they dragged the two Titans into the dining hall.
"It's a day for celebrating!" Cyborg convinced himself.
Unknowingly to everyone, especially Cyborg, the drink he'd fallen in love with was beginning to loosen his inner screws.
Starfire went out to one of the rebuilt palace's balconies to take in the dearly missed Tamaran air.
"Your tailors told me you had ventured out of your refitting, sister."
Wildfire went for a tickle fight before Starfire could turn around, forcing her to surrender amidst her laughing fit.
Giggling and catching her breath, she exclaimed, "Ryand'r! With your sudden presence, I presume your portion of preparations are in order?"
"I thought you insisted on not overworking and simply are grateful for all of our participation?" Wildfire joked with a wink. "They have been delegated and well underway. Nightwing is a bit... nervous, should I say? But, he is well. I wish I could get through the advice to the First Sanuh F'gan. She appears stressed."
"I have already said to Raven just as I have to all my other friends. It is only an honor to act as the Sanuh F'gan for myself and for Nightwing, not a responsibility. Gar and Cyborg accept it willingly, it seems. Raven, though, appears to be upholding the Earthling way of things, which is proving to be a tiresome task."
Wildfire smile. "She cares about your and Nightwing's happiness a lot, I can tell."
The two watched the purple overcast clear the way for the moon, its light coincidentally focused on the War for Tamaran memorial.
"When we three reunited, with Komand'r, I was optimistic then that our futures would be more harmonious during significant milestones such as this," Starfire lamented, now holding Wildfire's hand. "I remember, so fondly, when we were mere bumgorfs, disagreeing over each of our futures."
"I wonder where sister is now." Wildfire held his smile.
"As do I."
They fell silent for a minute.
"You must rest up," Wildfire said. "The coming moonset marks the beginning of your matrimony. Your future shall commence very, very soon."
Raven had spent the entire day fulfilling items on her Sanuh F'gan list, teleporting from room to room within the Royal Palace, with occasional trips to the Central Martketplace.
She was spent by the end of it, simply glad all her items received a checkmark.
Her final teleportation was to her and Gar's room. Finding Gar already snoring, she stumbled on top of him, dozing off.
Then came the moonset, and she was the first up.
Her voice croakier than ever, she mumbled, "Finally, my last day as the Son of a Gun..."
Delicately, she set Gar's ceremonial garb aside and picked up her own, getting changed while telekinetically writing a note with her Earthling stationery.
"Almost over," she encouraged herself, teleporting to her first location, not realizing that she'd forgotten her notes and her own ceremonial veil adorned by the First Sanuh F'gan.
Sarah yawned, getting up and cautiously taking her ceremonial garb.
"Feeling better?" she heard Cyborg ask her.
"Yep. Meeting up with Raven this morning, or, er, whatever morning is called here."
Cyborg yawned. "Good to know. I have a bit more time - "
"Lucky you," Sarah muttered cheekily, exiting their room.
" - so will catch up on my Z's."
Cyborg kept his entire body on his Tamaranean bed, unaware that he rotated his head so that he was facedown, body-up. His joints squeaked minutely as he snored away.
Gar eventually got up.
"Today's the day!" he declared, hoping he was loud enough to be heard outside his room. He realized Raven had already gone.
He grabbed his trusted camcorder.
"Today's the day!" he repeated, louder. "Time to get changed!"
When he panned the camera to his Tamaranean tux was when he realized he never tried it on. He stopped the video to gingerly don his garb for the first time ever, struggling.
"How do... Where does this go? ... Ugh... Sanuh F'bi-..." Little rips sounded here and there, but he eventually put it on, impressed with himself. "That wasn't so hard!"
He bent down to pick up Raven's veil and speaking notes. Another rip.
"And Raven kept reminding me of things," he quipped as he exited the room.
Soon after, he realized he'd left his vlogging equipment.
"My cammy!"
And he'd forgotten how to open the door back into his room.
"How do I - " And as he bent down trying to look for that 'doorknob', the mother of all rips echoed in the corridor, and his Tamaranean tux fell into shambles, completely unstrung onto the floor, leaving him exposed.
He squeaked, panic-transforming into the Tamaranean pet he saw the day before just as a couple of ceremonial guests and a dashingly dressed and nervous Nightwing walked by, who he didn't see during his panic.
Besides Raven's veil and papers that softly landed on his back, Gar had no clothes on and no immediate way to deal with his predicament. Disoriented and frantic, he scurried off.
Cyborg was no better off, despite believing he was.
Unlike the changeling in the nude, Cyborg had worn his attire properly, and was already out and about.
He took a huge, confident inhale.
"Feeling perfect for the perfect day!"
His machine parts kept squeaking, but he paid no mind to it. Perhaps the Tamaranean beverages had more of an effect on him than he realised.
Speaking of the beverages, his drinking buddies took note of him taking a stroll out of the dining area.
"Hey! To-be-wed, why are you out? There's your matrimony to prepare for!" greeted one of them in their native tongue.
"He's wearing the groomsman's garb!" shouted another.
Cyborg waved at them, barely understanding. "Yo! Perfect day, huh?"
The brawny drunks guffawed and exchanged jovial dialog, incomprehensible by the slowly unscrewing Cyborg.
"Surely, some trivial language barrier misunderstandings!" the third friend chuckled, justifying Cyborg's apparent wardrobe malfunction.
Not fully understanding them, Cyborg merely laughed with them, albeit less heartily. "Heh. That's right!"
Cyborg was too caught up in interaction with the Tamaraneans that he didn't notice the unusually green Tamaranean creature scurrying in the background, with a white sheet on his back and papers somehow ending up in his teeth. Gar himself was running too fast to notice Cyborg, and he disappeared underneath some questionable Tamaranean furniture.
The Tamaraneans exclaimed what seemed like another joke, as they all burst out laughing and waved goodbye to Cyborg. The last of the bunch lightheartedly slapped the Titan on the back as they disappeared into the dining hall.
However, what he'd managed to do was unscrew several of Cyborg's limbs, and piece by piece his body began to loosen and topple over, ripping his tux in the process.
"Uh oh!"
In Starfire's room, Raven and Sarah were getting the elated bride ready.
"Friend sisters, you have been the utmost reliable Sanuh F'gans that a former princess - anyone, for that matter - could ever ask for!" Starfire thanked them. "I love you ladies so much!"
"It's a fun experience!" Sarah said, glancing at Raven. "Right?"
Raven was mostly in her mind while she was begrudgingly prettifying Starfire, an activity she had yet to find any passion for in general. She could sense her emoticlones arguing with one another, particularly Passion, Bravery, and Rage.
"Where's the passion, Passion?!" complained Bravery.
"Well, sorry. It's hard when there's a force of resistance," defended Passion, eyeing Rage.
"There has been NO action thus far!" Rage yelled.
"Right, Raven?" Sarah repeated with a nudge.
Mind brought back to her physical present, Raven muttered, "Right... You're ready, Star."
Starfire sighed lovingly, examining and adoring herself.
"You shall be by my side as we walk down the stairway, descending to the matrimony and unveil me..."
Raven's eyes widened in realisation, her emoticlones on high alert.
"Remember to hover and not actually walk down," Timidity quietly reminded. "Tripping would be sooo embarrassing."
Knowledge agreed, "The probability of tripping down a staircase tends to increase during momentous occasions, driven up by the nervousness. And also, we appear to have left the matrimonial veil someplace."
"Get out of that room stat and find that veil!" commanded Bravery.
Physically, Raven gasped, catching her two 'friend sisters' off-guard.
"I have to get the veil," she said, conjuring her dark portal.
Starfire extended her arm to her, trying to grab her but missed as Raven was already halfway through.
"It does not mat- " Raven was gone. "... -ter... to me..."
Sarah shrugged.
"C'mon, let's get you ready. The ceremony has started five minutes ago, which means we have a few minutes to get you where you need to be. Raven'll meet us at the Palatial Atrium."
Indeed, the ceremony had already started, and the Grand Rulers' opening speech had ended. The grandiose Palatial Atrium was filled with guests, all Tamaraneans thus far.
Wildfire, at the front of the room as big as two Olympic swimming pools, looked around in his seat for the two missing Earthling groomsmen.
"Perhaps they are assisting Nightwing," he convinced himself, easing back into his seat. "He has been a nervous finnbar..."
A panic-stricken and literally deconstructed Cyborg was trying to put his parts back together.
He groaned as he was unable to use his left hand to screw his right arm back into his chest.
"The juices have made my body so... so... lubricated!" he finally realised. The area he was in was now empty, as he could hear the ceremony had been going on.
But apart from the speeches from the Palatial Atrium nearby, he could hear panting and running from light footsteps. Something that sounded more animal than humanoid.
He growled, frustrated. "C'mon, don't do this to me. This is so embarrassing!"
Even more embarrassing, was Gar, still on the run, looking for someone he could communicate.
He had seen Cyborg's head on the floor from underneath the furniture, and was quick to make his way to him. However, the juices excreted from Cyborg's joints had gone all over the floor, and Gar - still in his pet form - found himself sliding on all fours, fast towards Cyborg.
Gar squirmed while Cyborg screamed as Gar collided against his robot parts like bowling pins, sending bits of the cybernetic Titan flying everywhere, and sending Gar straight into the back entrance of the Palatial Atrium, Raven's veil now covering his face.
"This is not a perfect day anymore!" Cyborg yelled exasperatedly as his head landed nearby the dining hall entrance. He heard a group of heavy thumping, and obnoxious guffawing.
His Tamaranean drinking buddies saw their Earthling friend, all over the foyer.
"What is the groom doing here?!" asked one of them frantically. "And there? And there?! ... And there?!"
"Guys, help me! Please!" Cyborg begged in English, then Tamaranean, misspeaking a couple of words. "Help! Me! Please! Window-shopping! Escape artist!"
More focused on picking up Cyborg's parts than asking him what he just said, his new friends gathered the slippery, dissected hero and ran to the room of the groom, where the real groom was.
Raven had arrived in her and Gar's room, but could not find the veil.
"Do we even need to worry about it? It's just a sheet..." Sloth drawled.
"Search for clues," Knowledge suggested.
Happiness clapped excitedly. "A scavenger hunt! Love those!"
Raven found pieces of fabric.
"Gar must have it," she guessed. "Where is he?"
She teleported to the Palatial Atrium.
Gar managed to rid the veil off his eyes. Now disoriented and hearing chattering, he tried to gather his bearings, to figure out where he ended up in.
That didn't last long, for he was picked up by one of the matrimonial guests seated at the back, asking around whose pet he belonged to. Of course, no one claimed him.
Gar whimpered nervously as this Tamaranean began fondling over him, in their attempt to comfort this pet that was Gar as they made their way to the middle of the expansive hall in search of the beast's owner.
They definitely knew how to comfort such creatures, trickling their finger down their spine, which felt the human equivalent to a soothing back massage. Gar, momentarily, felt at ease.
And then their fingers reached lower down, a spot that felt somewhat relaxing, but to Gar a spot he'd only ever let Raven touch.
With a loud whimpering, he spat Raven's speaker notes at the caring Tamaranean, and revealed his true form in a panic.
"Eep!" He hastily used the papers to cover his privates. The Tamaranean shrieked, throwing him in the air.
With the strength of their kind, Gar was sent flying high. Again, he panic-transformed into the Tamaranean pet.
Wildfire started hearing more and more commotion coming from the back, and he finally had to just check it out.
Raven hovered into the Palatial Atrium from the back entrance, after notifying someone to clean up a large, messy spill right outside.
"Where are you, Gar?" she asked as she searched.
She paused as she found her veil on the floor. Relief and confusion washed over her.
"Lucky! We found it! The day has been saved!" cheered Happiness.
"But how did it get here at all?" wondered Knowledge, rubbing her chin.
"Maybe Gar quit his duties and left everything, including us," Rudeness blurted out.
Timidity spoke from behind Rudeness, "Let's hurry back to Starfire, please."
Not noticing the rowdiness in front of her, Raven hastily teleported back to Starfire and Sarah, as Wildfire made his way to the back, calming everyone down.
"Hurry!" urged Passion. "We're bridesmaids on a mission!"
"Execute the one-two manoeuvre!" Bravery suggested with gusto.
Raven arrived beside Sarah.
"Just in time!" Sarah noted as a round of applause erupted from the front of the Palatial Atrium. The Tamaranean orchestra began playing the native matrimonial number.
Raven efficiently placed the veil over a graciously joyful Starfire. "Let's go."
In Tamaranean, Grand Ruler Tharras announced, "The moment has come to this. Two bodies shall merge in matrimony."
Grand Ruler Salja introduced the couple. "Former Princess and brief Grand Ruler Koriand'r, and under the cryptonym Nightwing, the Titan-of-Earth!"
The Tamaranean lilac curtains on both sides at the detoured grand staircase pulled away, revealing the veiled Starfire backed by Raven and Sarah on one side, and Nightwing on his own on the other.
Each of Sarah and Raven's eyebrows were raised as they briefly exchanged confused glances, both noticing their boyfriends not with the groom.
They both watched the engaged couple reunite in the middle before backing away out of sight.
"Where are Vic and Gar?" Sarah asked Raven.
Raven was distressed, but not surprised. "This is why we leave the less vital tasks to them."
"We should find them before your speech starts."
Raven gasped. Particularly, Knowledge, Passion and Timidity expressed their concern.
"I forgot my notes too."
Sarah grabbed Raven by the shoulders, noticing her exasperation.
"Just wing it," she suggested. "Star'll understand, and we don't have time. Can we find our boys, please?"
Raven nodded and teleported the both of them out of the backstage.
With the reunion of the betrothed couple, the guests at the front erupted in resounding cheer, in unison with the screams from the back.
"Under the oversight of our beholden X'Hal and our resounding blessings," continued Salja, "The matrimonials shall now intertwine emotionally, righteously, and physically!"
And with that, Starfire and Nightwing simultaneously unveiled themselves and opted for the Earth custom of kissing.
As that was happening, Gar managed to free himself and ran out of the Palatial Atrium, completely in the nude.
Nearby the Palatial Atrium, Cyborg's new buddies were frantically approaching the matrimony, still under the impression that they were each holding a different robotic-human part of the groom.
"Hurry or our friend will not make it!" one of them shouted.
"Look, y'all, thanks for the lift, but I could really benefit from a mechanic instead of marathoners," Cyborg uttered.
They were hustling with just a few meters to go when they heard Grand Ruler Salja declare that the betrothed may intertwine.
Panting, the one bringing up the rear questioned, "Who is Royalty Koriand'r intertwining with if not our dissected friend?"
Suddenly, they heard a sudden high-pitched squeal and spotted a green animal scurrying towards them.
The Tamaranean leading the gang, with Cyborg's head, hopped out of Gar's way.
"Gar?" Cyborg noticed the all-green Tamaranean creature out of the corner of his eye, from the underarm of his new friend.
More juices leaked out of his dislocated neck on to the floor, and the Tamaranean right behind slipped, causing an otherwise comedic domino effect of sliding Tamaraneans, each with parts of Cyborg, into the Palatial Atrium. The last Tamaranean, bringing the literal rear of Cyborg, collided with Gar as he was sliding into the atrium, on to the stairway.
That resulted into surprised shrieks from the Grand Rulers, as the drunks lost their grip on the dismembered Cyborg as they hit the stairway, causing Cyborg's parts to fall on top of the leaders and the kissing couple, their eyes closed as they held on to each other.
To make matters worse, Gar was flung across the hall, landing with a hard thud in the middle of the aisle. Moaning, he subconsciously reverted into his human form, leading to even more harrowing screams.
At the back of the Palatial Atrium, Sarah stood, aghast, as she spotted Cyborg's head being tossed from one spooked Tamaranean to another.
Sarah tugged at Raven's gown to grab her attention.
"Found them," Sarah muttered in shock.
When Raven noticed what was happening, she could sense nearly every one of her emoticlone going to overdrive.
Simultaneously overcome with rage, passion, happiness, bravery, timidity, rudeness, and knowledge (save for sloth), Raven let out a scream at the site before her, and the entire Tamaranean atrium became concealed in Azarathian energy, into a void.
The next moonset...
A shameful Gar, a reassembled Cyborg, and even Raven - all in their uniforms - walked by the Grand Rulers with the biggest apologetic faces. Tharras particularly took a step back when Cyborg passed by, remembering his butt smashing his face.
The three Titans caught up to Sarah in the T-Ship as Starfire and Nightwing arrived, holding hands and wearing the largest smiles they both had ever donned.
Starfire gratefully hugged Tharras and Salja.
"Thank you, Grand Ruler Salja and Grand Ruler Tharras, for this wonderful matrimonial arrangement."
"It was most unique," Tharras noted. "And I recalled you commenting that Earthling matrimonial customs are more... conservative."
"Yestermoon's turnout was far from so," commented Salja as Wildfire arrived, giving Starfire a loving embrace.
Nightwing chuckled, "Definitely set the tone for weddings to come."
Wildfire patted Nightwing on the back as he led the couple into the T-Ship.
"It has been the most eventful of matrimony." Wildfire laughed as he tied a sign at the back of the T-Ship. "Certainly entails the eventfulness of your union."
"I shall miss you, brother," Starfire said sincerely.
Wildfire nodded as the T-Ship closed, and the engines kicked in, waving goodbye as the T-Ship flew off.
Raven spent the first hour of the trip back home silently staring at her meditation mirror. After the matrimonial event, she had been holding on to that beauty apparatus, in a constant need to simmer her emotions.
"Raven?" came Starfire's voice via private intercom.
Starfire could see Raven groan and pull her hood up.
"Raven, I - "
"I know it wasn't completely my fault," Raven started, refraining from glaring at her boyfriend and Cyborg. "I know you said it didn't matter much to you. But, it mattered the world to me. And I was a letdown. Big time."
Starfire shook her head, finding it quite amusing at the same time. "You are not a letdown."
Raven groaned. "Imagine if it was someone else, who wanted it all to go smoothly... I was the worst Son of a Gun, I couldn't even give my speech. So much for fulfilling the commitment of a best friend and sister."
Starfire tsked lightheartedly. "If such 'someone else' were to become upset at you for the misfortunes, then would they truly be your best friend and sister?"
Raven sat up straight and faced Starfire's compartment.
"This matrimony was a testament to our - "
"Indeed, it was. And, according to me, you succeeded with all the colors that can fly!"
"Oh yeah, all our colors definitely flew," Rudeness muttered in her mind.
Raven and Starfire smiled at each other through their windows.
"With all my heart, I love you, friend sister Raven!"
Raven let out a little chuckle. "I guess this means I shouldn't be expecting a perfect Maid of Honor performance from you."
Starfire's eyes flickered with eager lights.
"You are glorking my grabneks! Of course I shall become the most effective, gracious, and perfect Maid of Honor you shall ever have the fortune to be blessed with!"
They heard a beep, and Sarah's voice entered the intercom.
"Ladies, want any snacks for this galaxy road trip?"
Cyborg's voice came right after, "And don't worry, I've only brought snacks and drinks that will not screw me over by literally unscrewing me."
"And I'm wearing underwear!" Gar announced.
In spite of everything and yet because of everything, Nightwing couldn't help but laugh.
"One ceremony down, one to go," he said. "Are you ready, my betrothed?"
"I indeed am, my husband!"
Raven groaned nauseously. "Save the pillow talk for the Earth wedding..."
The thing that Wildfire tied to the back of the T-Ship earlier was a bunch of clanging empty goblets, and a message both in English and Tamaranean for the phrase 'Just Married', an Earth custom he had heard from his betrothed sister.
However, the English phrase was missing a letter, and merely read 'Just Marred' as the T-Ship journeyed home.