Mentions of attempted suicide beware!
Chapter 17
"Sabé," Fé says, and Sabé can see all of the handmaidens are looking at her, those that she considers friends. "I know that you have been quite overprotective over our little hero but..."
"I have already been approached by Panaka for this matter," Sabé replies tightly, not caring about what they believe anymore. "My answer remains the same."
"Oh brother..." Rabé says, rolling her eyes at this. This is not going to end happily.
Fé shakes her head. "You do realize the age difference, right? I know that you don't like Dané but she's right that it's unnatural for you to assume the mother figure in his life."
Figures. Someone again lecturing Sabé about taking Anakin in. Can't these people ever understand that Sabé would take care of Anakin until the end of time?
"Fé, I appreciate that you didn't approach me in front of Anakin like Dané did but what I choose to do in life is no concern of yours," Sabé responds sharply, picking up her respective tray before sitting down. Rabé and Eirtaé do so as well before sitting next to her.
Sabé begins to eat, not saying a word as she does so.
"Sabé," Padmé says, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, "a moment if you please."
Sabé grunts and stand to her feet, wondering what Padmé wants now. Her thoughts are preoccupied with Anakin caring about any formalities, "girl time", or anything else that Padmé wanted to do.
Once they are appropriately a distance away from the others, Padmé stares at her with soft eyes. "Sabé, I know that you care about Anakin."
"Care about him and love him," Sabé replies as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. "I would tear the galaxy apart for him."
"Well, maybe you should consider the fact that it would have been better to send Anakin off to an orphanage; you hardly have any experience in parenthood." Padmé replies sympathetically, her hand rubbing over some sort of snippet in her pocket.
"You want me to just forget Anakin existed?" Sabé asks, her voice croaking up. "Padmé, do you want me to forget that I literally saw him trying to kill himself?"
"People in the galaxy are frowning at it..."
"I don't care," Sabé responds coldly, her eyes becoming sharp. "In the past while, Anakin taught me something that you refuse to accept, that I didn't see for a long time."
"And what's that, Sabé?" Padmé snaps.
"That the galaxy is a dangerous place," Sabé replies. "We are all on this planet happy and freed. I didn't see Tatooine for what it was the first time. People like Anakin and Kitster are suffering while we are thriving."
"Sabé, the Republic cannot protect everyone."
Sabé clenches her hands up into fists. Never in her life did Padmé make Sabé's blood boil, make her want to throw a punch that would tarnish their relationship forever. And she remembers what Anakin told her in a moment between the two a while ago. She didn't hear it before but now she understands.
"The Republic doesn't exist on Tatooine. We had to depend on ourselves."
Padmé is disillusional. She sees the Republic as a system she wants to see it as, not as it truly is. Both Skywalkers nor Banai and so many others have ever grown up around the Republic and its law. Padmé can see the corruption for herself and she still would try to excuse the Republic by any means necessary.
Brainwashed.
Sabé actually laughs in Padmé's face. "Are you serious, Padmé? You seen it yourself on Tatooine. You seen them all but you still don't want to accept that the Republic has more flaws than we were all bred to believe."
Padmé's hand tightens around something, and Sabé grabs the mysterious object in her hand. "Anakin made this for you, did he?"
Padmé didn't respond verbally but with a mini shake of her head.
"He fancies you," Sabé snaps, crossing her arms across her chest and giving her a severely unimpressed glare.
"He did at one point," Padmé replies snappishly, not caring how harsh the words sound. "I'm sorry, Sabé, but you are seeming to be blinded to Anakin's flaws. He only had a physical attraction to me but that would have never grown in any lifetime. The kid is nice and I appreciate him for his services but the Republic would have handled the Trade Federation."
"The Republic wouldn't have handled bantha shit!" Sabé yells, and she is undeniably angry at Padmé. All of the people are now rallied up, staring at them with wide eyes. "Have you not got practically laughed out of the Senate Chamber? Even Senator Palpatine being in the position of power have barely changed anything! I have a question for you, Padmé: Would you choose me or the Republic if it ever came down to it?"
Padmé stammers over a response before clearing her throat and replying. "Sabé, the day we lose faith in the Republic is the day that we allow the likes of Gunray to seep through us."
Shaking her head and murmuring something her breath, Sabé decides to lay into her though she is deeply hurt that she has become a monster. "The Trade Federation is not entirely wrong, Padmé. If you take a moment to look back and see that Anakin is the result of the Republic's failure, then maybe we can have a proper conversation. Right now, you are corrupted by the Republic at this point. You need to get it through your skull that the Republic is no better than they were thousands of years ago."
Sabé flips around and walks off. "I'm going to be in my quarters. If anyone wishes to try to tell me I was wrong for taking Anakin in, go kark yourself."
Sabé slams the door close. Padme lets out a sigh, staring at the now closed door. This was definitely not how she was expecting the day to go. She doesn't want to argue with Sabé, but she can't let this go either. It goes against all of her beliefs after all. They can both talk about this again, maybe, when they're calmed down.
Words still reside in her: "I have a question for you, Padmé: Would you choose me or the Republic if it ever came down to it?"
They were no longer communicating as much as they did. No, it was crystal clear to her that Sabé no longer fully trusted her to have her back. That her former most loyal handmaiden and best friend and the closest thing to a sister she had ever had honestly thought that if she had a choice between the success of a mission and letting Sabé die, she would let Sabé die.
Padmé honestly couldn't even blame her for thinking that, given that she herself knew that is exactly what she ought to say she'd do. But she had thought it was pretty clear that she'd save Sabé every time. That she cared more than she ought. Apparently, that was not clear to Sabé, and it was her own fault that it wasn't.
Siblings argue sometimes, so it shouldn't feel like... something between them irrevocably became strained... and maybe even shattered.
Captain Panaka never met Anakin Skywalker - they had never had a single conversation, for Skywalker seemed to have been afraid of being with males.
Yet, Panaka being assigned to watch Skywalker by the Queen herself is an order that the Captain couldn't deny. He would always follow the orders of his superiors no matter what, the Queen included. He has been warned to treat the boy like a person and not like a prisoner, another order.
Part of Panaka does dislike taking orders from teenagers, the Queen excluded, but the Captain wouldn't dare to question Queen Amidala.
He walks inside the boy's room, and he drops his tray of food on his bed. Staring around briefly, Panaka's eyes settle on the boy, who is curled up in the corner.
Suffice to say, Panaka nearly feels bad for him, but apparently, he attempted to kill himself so he would have to stay here. The boy is incapable of causing any harm in the Captain's opinion but he only heard about him as he was the hero who managed to outclass the soldiers of the Trade Federation.
"How long would I have to stay here?" Skywalker whimpers, his eyes signifying his true weakness.
As kindly as he can but also stern, the Captain replies. "Undetermined."
The Captain thought for a moment that the conversation ended there. He didn't want to grow attached to the boy because he is simply a Guard who's doing his job. And Skywalker never met him before so the likelihood of the boy wanting to even talk to him after that is not very high.
Skywalker's eyes go wide as if recalling something, and Panaka worries how bad this could get m from the boy. "Sabé left me in here. Why would she do that? Why would she treat me this way?"
"You attempted to kill yourself and she wanted to keep you safe." The Captain is an extremely blunt man who is straight to the point but even he didn't mean for the words to sound so harsh.
"She should have done the right thing and just let me die," Skywalker retorts, fidgeting. "It would have been the well-being for us all."
"Clearly, she cares about you. She was willing to give up her prized handmaiden status for you." Panaka replies, finding a small part of himself growing annoyed. How did she and the other ladies able to deal with such an insolent child...?
Panaka personally couldn't handle it. The kid right now is making the Captain put his hands around his throat and strangle him until he listens. He didn't know why. He never had such a temptation to hurt a kid.
"If she cared about me, she would have done what I want and allow me to die," Skywalker responds, walking to the corner of his room. "She confiscated my toys and all the things in my room! I am a slave here!"
"She wants to ensure that you don't try to kill yourself," Panaka replies, feeling his voice rising in irritation. Blast it, he should have sent another Guard just to deliver the kid his food before leaving afterward. "If she didn't, she would have not cared about you and would let you go. You should appreciate that you have someone who cares about you."
"She denied me the chance to be with my mother in death!" Skywalker shouts, grabbing both sides of his head with his hands. "Now I have to stay in this karking room with Guards watching me at all times and with nothing beside my bed! Only visitation I receive is for food! She cannot even visit me!"
Enough is enough.
The kid has pressed his last nerve.
Now, Panaka has to bring out the big guns. He might not be as attached to the handmaidens as much as the Queen but he does professionally care about them and respect their positions. This boy would not question them and bash them like this.
"She's not visiting you because she wants to get you the help that you obviously need!" Panaka yells harshly, surprising the boy completely and causing him to lean into himself, but the Captain is not finished. "If your mother saw you now, she would have been disappointed that you try to kill yourself! And the Guards are mainly for safety reasons; once ensured that you wouldn't try to kill yourself, you would be cleared to leave!"
Panaka realizes how close he is to the child, and Anakin feels afraid he is going to hit him. Oh Twin Suns, he feels like a younger trainee being disciplined. He had seen Sabé once do it to a young Guard. Kriff, Rabé had once done it to him, and it nearly broke him to tears when it happened. When Rabé gets serious, it makes her a more terrifying presence to behold.
"Look, if you believe that they do not care about you, that is your belief, but I can say that is incorrect. If you believe that they do not care about you with all they have done for you, all that they sacrifice for you, then perhaps you should relook over your life."
Those last words sting even the Captain but Panaka finds himself not caring. Why should he care about a child who he hardly knows and should naturally not be here? If anything else, the kid should be in an orphanage, something that he did agree with many about, as the former handmaidens are hardly adults themselves.
But that doesn't mean anything is the kid's fault. Panaka could not imagine being without his parents at that age, so losing his mother must be hard for the kid to take.
Panaka is about to walk out when the boy runs up to him, grabbing his hand with surprising vigor. "You can't leave me here!"
"You are a fright risk, kid. Suicidal people are unpredictable." Panaka replies, even though this could get out of hand quickly, before offering words that hopefully will be encouraging. "If it's of any cold comfort, I am sure that your therapist would arrive shortly, and you would be allowed to interact for the first time in a long while."
With the slightest regret in his heart, Panaka shrugs off Skywalker's hand before working out, closing the door and locking it. He can hear the boy screaming to get out, seeking absolute freedom.
"Sir, are you alright?" One of the Guards asks, naturally overprotective of the good Captain, and no doubt him being inside of there for a while has gone noticed.
"Yes," Panaka replies, before continuing to speak, his hand going to his side. "Double the security outside of his room and watch that one with a careful eye. Given what was described to us by her Majesty, he is sneaky, and we don't need a kid who has already tried to kill himself once before to be permitted to roam freely until told otherwise."
Panaka pauses for a moment. He actually cannot believe that the kid's words have affected him so much. Perhaps seeing a kid in a room being treated like an inmate that is on death row and cannot be allowed freedom. When ready, he would receive a visitation, but for now, he would trust everything that his superiors say.
Queen Amidala did consider Sabé and the former ladies as her allies even with they not being her handmaidens any longer and so Panaka would answer to them and them alone.
Back in the room, Anakin bangs on the door to the room, begging to be released. He wants to be...
But his cries are ignored, leading him to walk up to the bed, and lay there. Anakin wants to die, and even that is denied to him.
Palpatine wants to shred the file in front of him. Even for a Sith Lord paperwork could be overwhelming but the Republic is not yet ready to pledge to him as a body and the people within that runs it. Additionally, some of his political enemies would have to go and that would take quite some time.
"Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi is here to see you, sir."
Ah yes, it has been a while since Palpatine has seen Kenobi. Slowly, he is beginning to build a seed of doubt within Kenobi and even darker tendencies quicker than expected. The death of Jinn, the rejection of not being allowed to train Skywalker, and his other friends perishing at the hands of Maul, are all building up in the combination of the boy looking for another mentor to make the right direction.
Telling Kenobi to go to Naboo and train Skywalker - Kenobi would indeed obey those orders and do as he is told.
"Send him in."
The door to his office opens, and Obi-Wan walks in, his presence now shining with light, heavy barriers are put up around him, but there is darkness within him that Sidious can see manifesting. Sidious cannot wait to crack them and then at last break him.
In truth, Kenobi is a backup just in case Skywalker is a total failure. Kenobi can be incapable of showing any sort of emotions after Sidious finishes off all his friends of course, but Skywalker is emotionally drawn to people that maybe corrupting the boy is not exactly a good idea.
Sure thing, Skywalker can turn into a powerful tool, but even now he can crumble if his sister figures die. Kenobi can still stand strong, and he had much dependence on him anyhow, looking to him as a mentor and burying all his sorrows in the good old Chancellor.
"Ah, Obi-Wan, I must say that this is... unexpected," Palpatine greets, placing on a hurt look. "I am hurt that you have not choose to visit me for a while."
"I had no choice. The Council had been persistent I receive a break after I lost control and so it happened..." Obi-Wan replies, his face twisting in sympathy, what would have been out of character mere months before. "I am back now and do vow to tell you the next time such an incident happens."
The trust that the boy has in him is another chain that Palpatine can use.
"I do wish you came sooner. The Jedi may not have wanted you to find out, but your Grandmaster, Dooku, has expressed that his place in the Order is no longer so." Palpatine says, placing both hands on top of the desk.
Obi-Wan's anger comes out for a moment, brushing against Sidious. It is not Dooku leaving the Jedi Order but rather the fact that the Jedi would not tell him about it. Those unsuspecting fools do not know that they are gift-wrapping Kenobi for the Sith. Kenobi is an amazing Jedi and would serve Dooku, Apprentice or not.
"Regrettable but I have never met Master Dooku so I naturally can only feel sadness for the reminder that man has to Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan replies, his head bowing showing that it is truthfully hitting him deeply. He has a touchy spot whenever the mention of Qui-Gon comes up.
"I have been a politician long enough to know when someone is troubled. Tell me, my boy, what's going on?" Palpatine asks, keeping the composed mask of the beloved Senator for years and the Chancellor he recently appointed, the grandfatherly form that the Jedi have grown used to.
Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment, his face switching between sadness, anger, and absolute coldness. "I have confronted Master Billaba about me not being allowed to train Skywalker but she told me that it was because of my age. She claimed that I was too young and that the boy is too emotional. What the kriff is wrong with them?!"
Sidious didn't expect the word just come like that. Even as a Padawan, Obi-Wan has shown signs of being the perfect traditional Jedi, one who would have posed a threat in the future to the Sith. But now, Obi-Wan is beginning to fall under Sidious's influence, all in all, becoming the perfect Apprentice that Sidious is searching for.
Not yet though.
"My boy, I am sorry to tell you this but the Jedi would always be that way with you. I have made some examinations over the Order for the past few years and it honestly sickens me to how detached they could be." Palpatine says, watching Obi-Wan's every step. He can feel the boy losing control of his emotions.
Obi-Wan stands up and walks to the window, causing Palpatine to rotate his chair slightly to stare at him, observing his every movement. "I hate to say this but you are right. They are detached from even the galaxy that they are meant to protect. I am questioning my role among the Order every day."
Sidious smirks, but Palpatine knows that he cannot push the boy. "My boy, I fear that you are not the only one who is going through a time of peril. Young Skywalker is currently imprisoned."
"Imprisoned?!" The boy's uncontrolled emotions are very much of an appetizer for the Sith. "What in blazes is he imprisoned for?! What the kark is going on Naboo?!"
"Recently, he attempted to shoot himself with his guardian's blaster. My people wanted to keep him safe." Palpatine replies, knowing that he is grating on the Jedi's stress, even though Kenobi has grown blinded by his friendship with the Chancellor.
Obi-Wan's face softens. "Then perhaps I should speak to him..."
"I wouldn't," Palpatine replies, standing up and walking beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder, knowing that the Jedi would see it as a soothing gesture.
"Why not?" Obi-Wan asks, his voice keeping calm under a straining effort. He didn't want to snap at the man who he views as his only friend that understands him the most but it is taking tremendous effort not to.
Yet another chain to wrap around him when the time comes.
"Because he has a parental or sibling love with his guardians. You are not as close to him as they are so that would be unwise. It might make the boy's status worse that someone who he hardly knows have his information." Palpatine responds, his face becoming melted with compassion. "Obi-Wan, have I ever told you about my parents?"
He hasn't told anyone for a long time, and those who he had, didn't get to live to spread the tale. Kenobi would be the only one who harbors the information about the Chancellor's parents but this would force the boy to make him think that he has the approval of Palpatine no matter what he does and that he trusts him with information that no one else knows.
"No," Obi-Wan replies, interested in the man's backstory.
No one in the public knows the private life of Chancellor Palpatine, and even Sidious would rather keep it that way long after the rise of the Empire. He didn't want for those to stare upon him as if he is a victim after knowing the torture that his Master put him through, didn't want to be stared upon as if a human instead of an instrument of power.
But for now, Palpatine would make it seem that he is burying his sorrows in the boy who is standing before him, and Kenobi would listen. It would force him closer if he sees what he believes is the more humanized form of Chancellor Palpatine, his mentor, instead of the strict mask of the man.
Obi-Wan leans forward slowly, eyebrows raised in curiosity. The boy is foolishly mysterious and he doesn't know that he is only setting himself up for his downfall. This is perfect.
Palpatine sighs and stares down before responding, piquing the boy's interest. "You see, when I was young, my parents were not the happy stereotypical parents you think of all politicians, my boy. My mother was a decent mother who seek profit but my father was violent, controlling, and manipulative. I... I was not spanked corporally but beaten, Obi-Wan, always whenever I question him, and he took pleasure in my pain."
Sidious smiles inwardly. While it is true that Cosinga Palpatine was abusive, Sidious knows that the weak man was blinded by his wealth. He would always relish the day when the Force awakened in him and he committed the kill, the way he made those pathetic weaklings scream as they plead for his mercy.
None of them knew what hit them.
Of course, the Jedi would be compassionate. It almost makes Sidious gag. He wants nothing more but to claw his face until he finally removes all of the compassion from him. Anger comes next, and Sidious almost bathes in it.
"I'm sorry to hear that, sir."
"It seems unlikely given my wealthy past that any of us could be abused," Palpatine declares, "but Nubians believe in discipline. It is within our culture. Sometimes, I was not able to move for days, but he made me terrified. Have you ever been disciplined corporally, my boy?"
"I-I ended up over Qui-Gon's knee a few times but he never made it hurt longer than two days and made sure that I knew the consequences of my actions," Obi-Wan chews on his lip, afraid of what Palpatine is going to say next.
Palpatine nods. "Oh, believe me, my boy, children have to be corrected, but not to the point where you fear them."
"What happened to him?" Obi-Wan's face seems strangely murderous. Ah good, the boy is feeling overprotective over the man who he has come to call a friend.
"Galactic karma turns out to be a thing. Eventually, my father upset the wrong people, leading to his immediate death." Palpatine says, his tone suggesting that he did feel remorse for not being able to be with his family. "Unfortunately, my siblings died as did my mother. I cared about them, Obi-Wan... I didn't want either of them to die!"
The wall cracks around Palpatine, due to Obi-Wan. Sidious puts in a good act to tremble as if remembering a past trauma. Obi-Wan has never seen Palpatine snap like this, and it take some effort on Sidious's part to not break out in mad laughter. His friend has always been someone who showed nothing but control, so this must be an extremely touchy subject.
"Afterwards," Palpatine says, forcing his voice to sound calmer, making it appear that this topic is extremely difficult to talk about, "I feared what I was going to do next without any parents to rely on and being only a teenager. Such a life is miserable, Obi-Wan, no child deserve it."
"I can imagine," Obi-Wan replies. "You seem to have turned out alright."
"One man saved me from living on Naboo's streets. A formerly corrupt banker who came to take me in his custody. He was overall a good man." Sidious continues his tales full of half-truths and outright lies. Naturally, it leads more to the former as some of the events that did happen were indeed true from a certain point of view that is. "He trained me in the ways to be a better person than him, groomed me to be a good politician, and eventually the rest is history."
Obi-Wan replies, balling up both of his hands into fists. He couldn't believe that Palpatine would have such a tragic tale when he has always been someone positive and kind. "I-I'm speechless, sir, and I didn't mean to do this to you. I'm sorry."
"My boy, you merely didn't understand. You shouldn't apologize. Your heart is in the right place." Palpatine replies, reaching up to his face and wiping a tear that formed there with his sleeve. "It has been a long time, but the point is that Skywalker is in a better state than I am. Ultimately, allowing his mentors to handle him and visiting him after he receives the therapy he needs is a wiser decision."
Another half-truth. Sidious didn't want Kenobi to train Skywalker until his guardians fix the boy up because he didn't want such power to lead to his death. At this point, Sidious is merely waiting to see if Skywalker would be the ultimate Apprentice or a disaster, but he also wants to find a way to contain the boy's power for himself.
If Skywalker does succeed in his endeavors to end his life, that would be a tragedy for the Sith as the power of the Chosen One would be lost.
Obi-Wan's expression changes, bubbling fury combining into one. Slowly, Obi-Wan is becoming quite the protege. Emotional turmoil surrounds not only Skywalker but Kenobi as well and they can both become his pawns. Both a Jedi and the one who has great power that hasn't been touched are people who can become his tools...
But there is the drawback about Skywalker hardly even having any meetings with him, and as much as the boy is not intelligent in galactic basics, the boy is far from stupid. Tatooine taught him survival skills and he would mobilize them, even later down the road in life.
"If it was me instead who raised the boy..."
"Obi-Wan, I have a question. What would you have done in that position if his mother died and he tried to kill himself? Would you have given him the help he needed?" Palpatine asks, genuinely curious about the boy's response.
"Suicide is not the Jedi way, sir," Obi-Wan responds good-naturedly.
Palpatine responds. "Obi-Wan, with all due respect, when someone is on the edge of a cliff and debate jumping off, telling them that would not work. And I'm talking about you. The real you. Not the Jedi platitudes."
Obi-Wan closes his eyes before opening them yet again, staring around as if worried someone is watching them, before focusing on the Chancellor. "I would try to talk down that person, and if that fail, I would have no choice but to restrain them and remove them of all objects that could threaten them."
"Which is precisely what they did," Palpatine respond, and even Sidious would commend the teenagers for their swift action to disarm Skywalker without causing further harm. How really embarrassing is that hardly teenagers can show more compassion than adults, perhaps another string that he can use in the future of his rise against the Jedi in the rise of the Empire.
"They did nothing wrong, my boy, nothing wrong. At least they cared enough to grab the blaster and apprehend him instead of letting him kill himself." Palpatine continues, knowing that under his words, Kenobi would wait until the appropriate time before at last beginning to fulfill his Master's dying wish. He also cares about the well-being of Skywalker and would stay away for now if only to keep him safe.
"That poor kid has no mother now," Kenobi replies. "And it's because we Jedi dragged him into this. Perhaps if we stayed away-"
"If you stayed away, the ones who caused this might have found him and kill him as well if not do something worse," Palpatine says. "Now, Skywalker is on Naboo in his room awaiting a therapist, a possibility for recovery, a fate I preferred for that poor kid instead of otherwise."
Kenobi replies, seeming to be uncertain but convinced, not going behind the back of the only mentor he has left. "Do you really think that he would be able to get over this trauma?"
"Not to worry, Obi-Wan, if they are indeed abusing him as we fear, we would discover the truth. If not, then everything would be alright soon enough." Sidious and Palpatine grin at the cities of Coruscant, causing Obi-Wan to nod and flank the Chancellor.
The Apprentice...