walk steady on this cruel world's path

By: Aviantei

Part Fifty:

"Thunder in Harmony"

I, along with a multitude of others, were moved to Butterfly Manor. Poor Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho almost burst into tears whenever they saw the state I was in, but they were resilient little professionals and got to work on me and everyone else. Aoi had a lot to carry on her shoulders, but, with Kanao's help, the two of them did an incredible job of tending to the rest of us, along with the aid of the Kakushi Corps. Of course, there were plenty of deaths regardless, and even people who were still living that were worse off than me. At least I'd be able to get a prosthetic in due time, and my now worsened heart condition would be manageable if I wasn't such a fucking dumbass in the future, which I thought I could manage, seeing as the opportunities for Zenitsu's life to be in danger were very much reduced. Even so, I was stuck in bed as I recovered, but at least there wasn't the impending weight of managing the Plot from then on. We had time for things like that.

We also seemed to have time for things like bickering.

"I told you! We gotta be able to have beds next to each other!" Zenitsu said, almost pouting.

"And I'm telling you that we don't have the time to rearrange people just for you! Now stop causing a racket and disturbing everyone else!" Aoi said back, her hands on her hips.

"But we're engaged now! Engaged, you hear?! Of course we gotta be together!"

"Everyone's heard! You won't shut up about it!"

"Zenitsu," I said, not needing to raise my voice at all. He snapped to attention, his eyes bright and sparkling. His affection was endearing, yes, but it also made him a bit stubborn over the silliest things. "You don't need to make a big deal about it. You still come and see me every day, right? That's more than enough time together."

"But I like sleeping near you," he said without any shame or hesitation. "That way I can always be there if you need me."

Though I tried to keep up a stern expression, I just ended up blushing in the end. It wasn't like there was a point in me trying to hide it anyways, since Zenitsu could just hear my embarrassment. Still, I couldn't let him get away with everything. "I like sleeping near you, too, but you can't cause problems for Aoi-chan. She has way too much to deal with as it is. Got it?"

Zenitsu slumped, but, in the end, he nodded. "Got it, Rairi." Aoi shot me a grateful look that I returned a smile to. Still, Zenitsu didn't stay down for long, as he dropped down on the side of the bed and caught my hand in his. "I'll just have to spend more time with you when I can then!" It was a matter of seconds before he was leaning back on the bedrest, his shoulder pressed into mine. I happened to find it extra adorable that he would get all giddy to cuddle up to my side, but then he just got all flustered the next moment. How way too fucking precious.

Aoi scoffed, but she didn't waste too much time on it. "If you tear open your wounds being stupid, I'm not stitching you back up, Zenitsu-san," she said, though I was pretty sure that was an empty threat. Aoi had been worried about all of us on the front lines, so she had to be grateful that we were here and alive now. "And don't you dare hurt Rairi-san, either!"

Rather than getting offended over the threat to himself, Zenitsu protested, "I'd never do anything that would hurt them!" Aoi didn't deign him with a response, getting back to tending to the other patients in the room, and Zenitsu flopped against my side. "Rairiii, you know I wouldn't do that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," I said, which seemed to appease him. I ruffled his hair for good measure, and he nuzzled into the contact. Was it okay to make someone so happy over the simplest of things? "I don't like seeing you when you're hurt, either, so be careful, okay, sweetie?"

"Don't worry I'll—" Zenitsu cut himself off, his breath catching. "Eh? Eh? What did you just call me?"

"Sweetie. What about it?" I thought he'd been excited before, but, shit, was he hyperventilating? Nope, he was just that ecstatic, though he was burning red all the way down his neck. "Pet names are normal for couples, right? I figured you'd at least be okay with that if we're doing this, you know."

Zenitsu nodded, close enough that his hair tickled against my cheek in the process. "I'm okay with it! In fact, I love it! I can't believe I never thought of this; what should I use for you?!"

"Calm down, other people are trying to rest here—"

"But this is important—"

"Ah, am I interrupting?"

The presence of a newcomer standing by our bedside dragged Zenitsu and I out of the bubble we'd been in. The person was rather tall, with dark hair pulled back and an almost olive-toned complexion. While I wouldn't call myself the best with memorizing faces, I still didn't think I'd seen anyone like them before, so I was a little lost. Zenitsu, on the other hand, gasped in recognition.

"Hanai-san!" he said, and then it clicked for me. While I hadn't ever seen our swordsmith's face because of the mask, the build and posture were overall the same, plus the bundle in Hanai's hands was almost a dead giveaway. "I guess you all don't need to wear the hyottoko masks anymore, huh?"

Hanai nodded. "That's right. Though there are some others who are so used to it that not wearing one is strange to them." Yeah, I'd seen some of their number out and about, visiting someone like Tanjirō or Genya. I suppose if you wore it your whole life, it was just habit at that point? "But that's not what I'm here for. I wanted to drop these off since I finished the work on them."

Pulling the cloth off the bundle they were holding, Hanai got to work on opening the box and passing its contents to us. Three matching katanas came out, the one difference their primary colors: white, black, and gray. With the trio laid out across my and Zenitsu's laps, I ran my hand over the scabbards. While we wouldn't need these anymore, I'd asked to have them tended to, leaving them in the best shape as possible. They were part of our story, after all. Hanai had agreed without any arguments whatsoever.

"Thank you," I said, already starting to feel the tears pricking at the back of my eyes. Though I'd lost my sword in the fight, it had been recovered from the rubble without any issues save for some chips and cracks in the blade. Likewise, Kaigaku's scabbard had gotten damaged in the middle of my fighting, too, but Hanai had made it look as good as new. "Um, I know you didn't have to do this, Hanai-san. We can pay you for this." Since it wasn't an official Corps project, they didn't have any obligation. And with everything Hanai had done for us, paying them a fair price for their craft wouldn't be difficult at all. Hanai more than deserved it.

But Hanai shook their head. "Don't concern yourselves about it. I'm just more than happy that these blades kept you safe and that you still wish to preserve them."

"Oh? Rairi-san, you already have visitors?"

My smart remark about paying them anyways died in my throat as Kei approached. Outside of her uniform and in a black kimono, she looked even more delicate than usual, what with her hair pulled over her shoulder in a low ponytail rather than its usual bun. Having Zenitsu with me wasn't even a shocker anymore, but Hanai was a new face in the most literal sense, so no wonder Kei looked surprised and a little apprehensive.

"Don't worry, Kei-san," I said. "You're not interrupting anything." The stress spilled out of her shoulders, though she was still biting on her lip. "How are you holding up? Are you recovering okay?" I'd heard that everyone had ended up with injuries between Infinity Castle and fighting Kibutsuji, though not as many people had ended up with necessary amputations like mine.

Latching onto the conversation topic, Kei nodded. "I'm doing okay. I managed to not get too hurt thanks to everyone I was with working together." Her eyes wandered down to the spot on the blankets where the bump of right leg should have been, and I didn't blame her. I was still adjusting to the whole situation myself. "What about you two, Rairi-san? Are you okay?"

Considering that Zenitsu and I still had visible bandages, we were in worse shape than she was by a long shot. "If I'm being honest, I don't know." Kei blinked, maybe not expecting me to be so blunt about it. "A lot of it hasn't sunk in yet at all, so I'm just existing. But the best I can do is focus on healing, so that's what I'm going to do." Kei still didn't look reassured, and, when I reassessed it, I realized her gaze was more drawn to the swords sitting in my lap than anything else. Just like us, she'd lost someone important, too; even if she hadn't been there, it was still going to weigh heavy on her. "We'll make sure he's remembered, though. Don't you worry about that."

Even if they were painful, I wasn't about to let any of these memories go; I'd hold onto Kaigaku as long as I could, and I knew that Zenitsu would help. If Kei wanted, she could be part of that, too; if she ever wanted to talk about him, I would listen.

I couldn't carry all the weight for her, but I could help at least a little. That would have to be enough.

"If you're going to do that, you're going to need these, then, aren't you?"

Caught off guard by Yushirō's sudden appearance, I started into Zenitsu's side, and Hanai and Kei looked just as shocked. Considering how much I'd been sleeping in the name of recovery, I hadn't bothered to keep track of the time yet, so I hadn't noticed that it was already dark out enough for him to be out and about. Uncaring for any of our reactions, Yushirō procured a bundle of dark clothing that I recognized on the spot.

In the haste of everything, we'd just stuffed what we could into Yushirō's bag, but it was all folded now. Yushirō was brash, but he had a soft spot in him, too. Just like with the swords, I accepted the pile, Zenitsu's hand a comforting presence against my shoulder. If I'd been on the verge of crying before, this tipped me over, though it was much more silent than the sobbing mess I'd been before.

"Thanks, Yushirō-san," Zenitsu said for the both of us as I hugged the bundle to my chest. It wouldn't replace anything, but it would make sure that we could honor him when we made it back home, and that was just as important as anything else. "We appreciate it a lot."

"Like I told them. I understand what it's like." It didn't stick out, but I recognized the design of Tamayo's hair stick peeking out of Yushirō's collar. "I'm sure I don't need to say it, but take care of those things, you understand?"

I nodded, just for Kei to burst out into tears, as if Yushirō's harsh tone had set her off. "S-sorry," she said, the pitch of her voice spiking up as the word turned into a half sob, and Yushirō looked somewhat uncomfortable. "It's not you. I just—I—" Hanai offered to pat her back, and Kei nodded, letting the swordsmith provide a form of comfort that I couldn't deliver as well from my hospital bed. "I asked you to do that, Rairi-san, even though I knew you cared about him, too, and I—"

"No, don't worry about it, Kei-san," I said, meaning it. "You never need to apologize for asking for help, got it? Even if I can't take on something for you, I'd rather you let it out. I…" I nudged Zenitsu beside me, and his hand fell into mine again, like it belonged there. "I have people I can reach out to, too. Whenever we all share things, it does get a little bit easier, okay? So if you ever want to visit us, you can, and if you ever want to talk, write to me, alright?" Kei nodded, though she still hiccupped. Satisfied enough with that response, I turned to my other visitor. "The same goes for you, Yushirō-san," I said, startling him. At his incredulous expression, I smiled. "I'm sure you have plenty of stories you want to share about Tamayo-san, right? I'm glad to listen when you need it."

One way or another, we'd all support each other for as long as we could.

I was still recovering, but I'd been given permission to attempt to navigate the world with a crutch while my leg was still healing over, so I started to make a wobbling approach back to my room after dinner. Zenitsu served as my spotter, and he didn't complain in the slightest whenever I slowed down, stopped, or even stumbled. Patient and with me every step of the way, he chatted about whatever crossed his mind, and I did the same. I was a little impressed about how we had plenty to talk about that didn't concern fighting demons, but there was also a lot of our lives beforehand that we had to catch up on, plus recovery involved plenty to discuss, too.

That said, Zenitsu fell silent as he stopped in the middle of opening the door to my sick room for me. Even just moving around like this had me feeling pretty worn out, so I ended up leaning up against the wall, but I could tell Zenitsu was still thinking about something. "You wanna come in?" I asked, and he almost jumped. "I know you didn't get that extra bed out of Aoi-chan, but I don't mind if you stay for a little while."

Zenitsu flushed a bit, but it wasn't anywhere near as much as before. Just how preoccupied was he? Still, he nodded and helped me in and up onto my bed, and I let him, even if it wasn't necessary. Once I was tucked in, he reached out to my bedside table, where I'd left the pile of Kaigaku's belongings. Without saying a word, he pulled the jacket from the pile and sat on the edge of the bed, undoing the folds and then the jacket's buttons. In the end, he went for one of the inside pockets, which revealed what seemed to be a pile of papers when opened. "I knew I heard something earlier, but I couldn't tell what, and Yushirō-san told me to check…" Zenitsu said, his voice trailing off.

We both stared. Swallowed. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I nodded to Zenitsu, who handled the pile of papers with care, though they were already partway bent and crumpled. He started placing each one on the bedside where we could both reach them, but it only took a few for me to recognize what they were—after all, my handwriting was on the outside of all of them, each time spelling out the kanji of Kaigaku's name.

Letters. My letters for him. I couldn't say if it was all of them, seeing as I couldn't even remember how many I'd sent, but it sure was a decent-sized collection, without any room for doubt.

I clutched onto the back of Zenitsu's infirmary top, and he paused in sorting the papers out, glancing over to me. I shook my head. "It's fine. Keep going." My letters. Even after becoming a demon, he kept my letters. God, what was I supposed to do with that information? Zenitsu continued, and, sure enough, the rest were from me, too, save for the last piece of paper that wasn't marked on the outside. Zenitsu didn't even wait for me to prompt him, and I hung over his shoulder as he unfolded it.

Rairi-senpai, the characters read at the top, and I sucked in a sharp breath.

Zenitsu folded the paper shut, but he didn't put it aside. "Rairi, you can wait to read it. It's okay if you need time."

"I…" I thought about it. Time might've helped, but it wasn't what I wanted. "I want to know. What he wanted to say." Whenever I pulled the paper from his hands, Zenitsu didn't fight me at all, and I sat up a bit to read it. Zenitsu rested a hand on my knee to ground me, and I went ahead.

Rairi-senpai,

I'm glad to hear from you again. I should say something about how I don't want you to worry over replying to me, but that wouldn't be true. I want to hear from you as soon as you can get back to me. I want to know how you're doing, because whenever I don't hear back, I worry.

I told you before, right? That I'm selfish. I'm sure you could already tell, but I'm just warning you. Because if I had my way, I'd always be able to see you. If I had my way, I'd always have your company. Sometimes I want to be around you so much it hurts, and I wonder what the hell's wrong with me. Except when it's you, I don't care, because you seem so worth every stupid thought and distraction you give me.

You are—

It was short, incomplete. The final sentence wasn't even finished. But I could read the pattern of the words before it, and I could make a guess at what was about to come next without any issue. No wonder he'd stopped mid-writing, no wonder he hadn't been able to send this to me before everything spiraled out of control.

"You, too," I mumbled, wondering if the same miracles that let reincarnation and the afterlife exist could somehow convey the sentiment to his soul, wherever it was now. "You are—"

Kimi wa koto ga suki desu.

—the person I love.

For as long as I cried, Zenitsu stayed with me, just like always.

[Author's Notes]

More fluff, with a bit of necessary aftermath angst. But at least things are moving forward into the future here?

Thanks to Lunar Moon Butterfly, Great Destroyer Hurricane, ForgeandGred4Ever, Kikikitsune18, Raven Carver, and f-rahman1302 for the faves, follows, and reviews! We're heading closer and closer to the end, so I'm glad to see this fic still attracting newcomers even now!

I'm also a giant sap. You knew I had to have at least some way for Rairi to hear from Kaigaku about his feelings. It's not the ideal outcome, sure, but at least it's not a total question mark, yeah? Also it's the obligatory part where I drag in all the characters for one last appearance so we can see how they're doing before we wrap things up. And speaking of...

It's time for a Taishō Era Secret! Kei spent most of the Infinity Castle battle stuck fighting off groups of demons that went after her and her companions. She was also part of the group that first discovered Muzan recovering in the depths—but with the foreknowledge gained by Shimizu's notes, Kiriya and his sisters were able to keep the Corps members away from it before Kibutsuji attacked. However, Kei fell unconscious whenever Infinity Castle broke down, so she only avoided major injuries due to being out of commission for the final battle. With the dissolution of the Corps, she has plans to return to her hometown and join her family's business of selling and trading spices and other grocery supplies.

Next Time: Falling action, part two. Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[10.22.2022]