January 1929
Mary winced as the cold metal of the Pinard Horn hit her bulging baby bump and watched as Dr. Clarkson placed his ear to the other end and listened. The examination was conducted in silence as the doctor placed the Pinard Horn on various places on her growing abdomen until he stopped and placed the horn back in his bag. His hands were cold as he placed them on her stomach, feeling around as gently as he could to get an idea of the babies' positions inside her.
"Is everything alright?" Mary asked, breaking the silence.
"You've made it to thirty-two weeks, Lady Mary, that in itself is a good thing." The doctor replied, continuing his examination.
It had been a long three months since the doctor had announced that she was expecting twins. Since then the entire family had been smothering her with their worry and attentiveness. Six weeks ago, Mary had been ordered by Dr. Clarkson to bedrest as much as possible with light exercise because she had started experiencing practice contractions much earlier than expected. Matthew had taken over her duties as Agent and her mother was getting lots of advice from Dr. Ryder as possible. Her father was already searching for midwifes to attend the birth as well as the usual nurses who assisted Dr. Clarkson during the delivery. The only person who wasn't annoying her was Isobel, who had the sense to accompany her for some fresh air every other day and tried to take her mind off everything baby. Or babies.
Dr. Clarkson finished his examination and gestured that Mary could readjust her clothing and blankets as he turned around to give her some privacy. She cleared her throat as she pulled the covers over her baby bump and looked at the doctor expectantly.
"The babies sound very strong, and I don't see any signs of premature labour yet. Your feet aren't swollen and there is no protein present in your urine so presently I can rule out signs of pre-eclampsia. One baby is lying head down with their feet resting underneath your ribs whilst the other is head up with their feet on your left side at the bottom." Dr. Clarkson stated.
Mary nodded.
"Will the second baby turn before the labour starts?" she asked worriedly.
"It's hard to say. The longer the pregnancy progresses the less chance the baby has to turn and ideally, I would like both babies to be head down during the birth to minimise the complications that come with a multiple birth. However, this is a multiple birth, and we should be as best prepared as we can be when the time comes." Dr. Clarkson replied.
"What do we do?" Mary questioned.
"I would strongly suggest that you give birth at the hospital this time, Lady Mary. If something does go wrong and we need to operate, you will be in the best place." Dr. Clarkson answered.
"I agree." Mary muttered.
"I shall see you next week."
Mary nodded, watching as the doctor gathered his things. Her pregnancy was being prepared for the worst-case scenario and she now required weekly visits from the doctor as each week brought her closer to the estimated due date of March 1929. The more time that passed, the more fearful she became that something would go wrong. It was a feeling that she could not shake, no matter how many times her husband would positively reassure her.
As Dr. Clarkson bade her farewell, she came out of her trance and called his name and he stopped at her door to turn to face her.
"Yes, Lady Mary?"
"How many twin births have you attended?"
The doctor's face looked a little sombre which only made Mary more nervous. But he cleared his throat and tried to give her a reassuring smile.
"I have delivered many twins during my career, My Lady. Some births have had an unfortunate ending, and some have been successful to the mother and children. Each mother is different, and each twin birth is different. Your pregnancy is going well, so far, Lady Mary. Please try not to fret on the what ifs when we are not at the end yet." Dr. Clarkson encouraged.
Mary thanked the doctor for his advice, and he left the room, leaving her to stare up at the ceiling in boredom until Anna knocked on the bedroom door and entered at Mary's call.
"How was the visit, Milady?" Anna asked.
"All is well, but Dr. Clarkson is concerned about one of the babies' positions." Mary sighed.
"I am sure Dr. Clarkson will get you through it, Milady. He has delivered three of your children with no complications." Anna said positively.
"You are right. But I have this fear that this time will be different." Mary admitted quietly.
Anna pulled back the covers and helped her out of bed to stand.
"Milady, of course this is different, you have never birthed two babies at once before. But you will get through it." Anna said politely.
"You sound like Matthew." Mary replied.
"Well Mr. Crawley is right. You are strong, Milady."
"Strong enough to get through a twin labour?"
Anna nodded, helping her walk across the room to the vanity where Mary sat on the stool.
"You can get through anything. Besides, you will have your family by your side and his Lordship has hired a team of midwives if you believe what they say in the servant's hall." Anna stated.
"Well the servants are right on that count. Papa has hired some additional midwives to assist the birth. As far as Matthew would allow anyway." Mary replied.
"Did Mr. Crawley have any objections?" Anna asked curiously, brushing through Mary's hair.
"Papa wanted to hire five additional midwifes to the two nurses who would be assisting Dr. Clarkson. Matthew agreed to two midwifes because he does not want the room to be too crowded when my time comes." Mary replied.
"Does Mr. Crawley plan on being present during the birth like he was with Master Charles and Miss Catherine?"
"I do."
Mary and Anna turned to the doorway and saw Matthew stood in the entryway.
"Good morning, Mr. Crawley." Anna greeted.
"Good morning, Anna." Matthew smiled.
"How did your meeting go with the new tenants?" Mary asked.
"It went well, we came to an agreement about getting the roofs on the cottages fixed as well as other repairs that need to be completed. I am also meeting with the builders after luncheon about the new housing that is being built a few fields over from Yew Tree Farm." Matthew replied.
Mary nodded stiffly and turned her attention back to the mirror as she began her routine of readying herself for her walk in the grounds. Whenever she talked with Matthew about the various meetings that he had whilst he was taking over her role as Agent hit a sore spot for her. She had been reluctant to give up her duties and it had been a topic they had argued about extensively until it had caused a rise in her blood pressure which in turn, had led to Mary being on bedrest.
"Anna, may we have a moment?" Matthew requested.
The lady's maid nodded and curtsied before leaving husband and wife alone in the room, the door closing behind her.
"Darling, please don't be cross with me." Matthew said softly.
"I'm not cross with you." Mary said, a little icily.
"You know I want you back as Agent, but this is for the best."
Mary rolled her eyes. She decided to steer the conversation to something else, not wanting to start another argument between them.
"I'm getting dressed and going for a walk. Are you joining me?" she asked.
"I can't today, I have to telephone Murray," Matthew replied, "But mother is downstairs, and she'll accompany you."
"Very well." Mary said.
Anna came back into the room after Matthew pulled the rope to ring for her. She saw Matthew exit as she looked into the mirror and Anna began styling her hair. When she was ready, Anna helped her to her feet and down the stairs, where she pulled on her winter coat and greeted her mother-in-law.
"How are you, my dear?" Isobel asked.
"I'm fine." Mary replied.
They fell into step together as they walked from the front doors across the gravel driveway and on to the grass. The silence was peaceful as they walked across the frosty grass, crunching sounds made with each step they took.
"How did your visit with Dr. Clarkson go?" Isobel asked.
"He's happy that I've made it this far but one of the babies isn't in the right position for birth." Mary replied.
"There's still some time, dear, try not to worry." Isobel encouraged.
"It's just frustrating. It feels that I don't have any choices with this pregnancy." Mary admitted quietly.
Isobel reached for her hand and squeezed it gently.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way, Mary." She sighed.
"It's not that I'm not happy to be having these babies, but having two at once? I never imagined that I would. Matthew is so happy that we're having more children, but he never thinks of the risks of twins. It's all I can think about." Mary sighed.
Isobel smiled sympathetically.
"It may seem that way, but Matthew is worried about you and the pregnancy, dear. He's trying to support you in his own way."
"It's easier on men. They don't have any of the burden."
"They'll never truly understand," Isobel agreed slightly, "However, have you spoken with Matthew about your feelings? Or his?"
Mary paused before shaking her head. If anything, since she had been put on bedrest, she and Matthew often had tense conversations. She had found it hard to open up about her fears regarding the pregnancy and had failed to accept his fussing over her as his own worry. She was stubborn to a fault. And the pregnancy and the risks of the twins made her even more so.
"I-I haven't." Mary admitted quietly.
Isobel smiled and squeezed her hand again.
"Perhaps you should," her mother-in-law encouraged her gently, "If you unburden yourself of these worries, it may help the gap between the two of you."
"You're right," Mary muttered.
They carried on with their walk until Mary started feeling tired. The downside of carrying twins was her exhaustion felt doubled than it had during her previous pregnancies. Expressing a loud yawn, she allowed Isobel to steer her in the direction of the house.
oOo
Matthew heard chatter in the great hall as he realised that Mary had returned from her walk with his mother. He stood up from his chair and walked into the hall, smiling as his wife took off her coat and handed them to Andrew.
"I'll say goodbye dears." Isobel said warmly.
Matthew kissed his mother's cheek and said goodbye before following Mary upstairs to the bedroom they shared. He closed the door behind him and approached her cautiously, wondering if things were still frosty between them.
"How was your walk?" Matthew asked delicately.
"Fine. I had quite the talk with your mother." Mary replied softly.
Matthew paused, noting the warmth in her voice. It was the first time in weeks that he had noticed warmth in her voice instead of frostiness. His heart started to beat happily, filling him with hope that she would allow him to confide in her.
"What did you discuss?" he asked curiously.
"We spoke briefly of my…frustrations with the pregnancy and how I felt that…you only seem happy and focused about more children…rather than the risks that come with this pregnancy…" she admitted.
He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her growing belly, placing a kiss to her forehead. She was right in a way; he had mainly focused on the joy of two more children being added to their family rather than worry about the risks associated with a twin pregnancy.
"Darling, of course I'm worried! But I didn't want to add to your fears by expressing my own." Matthew whispered.
Mary looked up at him fearfully.
"You are?" she asked quietly.
He nodded.
"I'm worried that something will go wrong with you or the babies. I know we haven't shared a bed lately because you need to be comfortable, but I've had many nights of restless sleep due to worry. Sometimes I come in just to reassure myself that you're still with me."
Mary cupped his face with one hand, trying to comfort him.
"I'm scared of dying, Matthew. I'm scared that…the babies might…" she trailed off.
Matthew hushed her soothingly, one hand rubbing her back gently. He could feel the strong kicks against him from the babies, but he said nothing. He just held his wife close to him, creating a moment that they could share with a mutual understanding that they both shared concerns about this pregnancy.