Just One Wish
Chapter 2
The soft purring that seemed to surround him was what woke him up. The sound was so gentle and reassuring that Xiao almost closed his eyes and went back to sleep. But he looked up tiredly and realized he was definitely in a bed- but it wasn't at the Wangshu Inn…
Instead, he was surrounded by luxurious and expensive silk sheets. For an instant he didn't dare to move or breathe.
W-Wait. Last night- it wasn't just a dream? He was really wrapped up in gold and chocolate colored silk sheets?
The purring beside him continued, though he sensed amusement in it now.
Xiao looked to his other side and came nose to nose with his master. Zhongli's human visage was even more beautiful in the morning light. Honestly he thought that would not even be possible.
"Good morning, my love," Zhongli purred. He nuzzled him gently. "How do you feel?"
"I- I'm fine. But…" Xiao blushed. Last night? Was it real? He really slept with Rex Lapis? T-That couldn't possibly have happened. He was still dreaming- he had to be. "Must I really call you Zhongli?"
"Yes, my little bird. I am retired now and I wish to spend my time with you comfortably. I don't think there should be any titles or formal hierarchy between us."
Xiao nodded then sighed. "But- I don't understand… You could have had anyone you wanted… So, why me?"
"Because you're you. I have always wanted to make you my lover. But as the god who freed you, you would have been forced to accept my advances. I wanted to wait for you to make the first move- and you did."
"I- I'm sorry, but if I had known you were… aware of my visits I wouldn't have made them."
Zhongli grinned impishly. "I know, I think that's why I enjoy them so much. Hearing you tell me all about Little Luo intentionally losing her dolls just to see you again. Wondering why the Lantern Rite is easier on your heart now than in centuries past. And this, I will treasure always. You brought it the first time you told me you loved me."
Xiao blushed as Zhongli opened his hand showing him the jade dragon pendant he had brought him.
"Wait- how long have you known?"
"I remember the first time like it was yesterday. I think you were really upset or perhaps concentrating on me because the first time that the wind whispered your words through the stone, I was shocked. I remember I was having tea with some friends and you were annoyed at tourists wandering Wuwang Hill hunting for ghosts. You said that the spirits of the dead don't really mind the company. But it was making the hilichurl camps in the area more aggressive at guarding their territory. My friends asked why I was smiling and I blushed not knowing what to say. But after they left, I went to the statue and found the lovely silk flower you brought me. Then two weeks later I heard your voice again. You said you were worried about Dusky Ming because she is bored at the inn and still couldn't move on. And when I visited the statue I found a lovely specimen of cor lapis. So, I came to look forward to your little visits."
"Y-You've known since the beginning? But when we spoke to each other after that, why didn't you ask me what the hell I was doing?"
Zhongli nuzzled him again. "Because I was happy. I was glad that you were starting to open up to me. Even just a little- it gave me hope that maybe we had a chance… I was so grateful that you trusted me enough to reach out that I was afraid to say anything."
"Well, I feel really stupid…"
"I'm sorry that I deceived you by feigning ignorance. I do understand why you must feel that way. But I didn't mean to embarrass you. You were finally starting to open up to me. And I knew if I said something, you would have pulled away from me and that would have broken my heart beyond repair."
Xiao sighed but still didn't know what to say.
"I only kept my silence because I can't imagine my life without you in it. Needing to reach out to others isn't a sign of weakness. Like humans, the adepti are not meant to be solitary creatures. You know that having seen several of our kin take lovers among our own kind and among the humans. If they get to choose who they want, why can't we?"
Xiao shook his head slowly, tears threatened to fall from his eyes. "But… I'm not like you or even any of the others."
"Why? Tell me what you are thinking right now."
"I… I am a monster. I murdered innocent people. Countless people who would have been Liyue's citizens had they lived…" Sick with grief, Xiao growled. He tried to hold them back, but stubborn tears still rolled down his face. "Do you think any of those lost souls would want to see anyone fall in love with me- especially you?"
"Xiao, please. Look at me," Zhongli wrapped his arms around him and held him. He didn't let Xiao pull away, holding him close until he finally collapsed against his chest. Then he cupped his chin and Xiao finally looked up. His master looked worried and sad, leaving him feeling even worse.
Xiao shivered. He knew that his feelings of guilt and remorse didn't mean anything to the dead, why would they? Would even one of those people want him to suddenly fall in love and be happy- just like that?
Of course not! How could he blame the dead for the rage they were very much entitled to? There was no atonement for the things he had done. How could there be? All of them were gone- only their resentment and the memory of their pain and terror remained.
"Wait, please, don't look away. You've been alone with this pain for so long and I'm sorry for that. Even now you can't imagine moving on or trying to forgive yourself."
"How can I? I ate their dreams! That means I took away everything that was unique about them and everything they hoped for in life," Xiao's voice slowly softened until it was almost a whisper. "Most were so badly damaged that they were barely breathing when I finally slaughtered them!"
"We have talked about all of this before. Your former master was the monster. That's why I killed him, because he didn't deserve to live. He tortured and starved you constantly to keep you trapped. It would have been an impossible situation for anyone. Even our best healers couldn't figure out how you survived like that for centuries. But the important thing is you didn't give up and you regret those actions. Don't you?"
He managed a small nod. "Yes… I never wanted to hurt anyone."
Zhongli smiled. "I know, you must keep that mindset moving forward and do the best you can to heal. All anyone can do for the past is to try to keep moving forward. Right?"
"I… yes, but… Those poor people- they didn't do anything wrong…"
"I know," Zhongli pulled Xiao into his arms more tightly. "But I'm so glad that you lived. You know that your former master holds a big part of your heart and he will keep it prisoner until you understand and accept that you had no choice. You have such a gentle spirit and are very forgiving of others. Now you need to forgive yourself too. It doesn't need to happen all at once. But you must remember that everything you did back then was to survive. Do you understand?"
Xiao nodded reluctantly. "I will… try."
"Thank you," Zhongli said. "Because I want to build a future with you."
"A future?" Xiao almost snorted. It seemed impossible- but he wanted the same thing. "B-But… My karmic debt and your erosion?"
"I will be with you for as long as I can, but I have loved you forever. We both have a lot to overcome. But we will help each other through it, as we always have, right?"
"Always," Xiao nodded and was surprised when another tear rolled down his cheek. He looked away. "I- sorry… I don't know what's wrong with me…"
Zhongli gently raised his chin to make him look at him again. "I know. Now it seems like it should have been so easy, that it's hard not to regret the time that we kept our silence. But it wasn't wasted, my love. Because we spent it getting to know each other."
Xiao sighed. "I still- can't believe you're really here…"
"I was surprised when I awoke too. But I wouldn't trade this moment for anything in this world. Just holding you in my arms like this is perfect. To have you as my mate would be everything I have ever wanted."
Xiao nodded unconsciously. He wanted to be Zhongli's mate- his lover- or after last night even just his bed warmer! Honestly, just to be allowed to lay next to him like this and just look at him openly? It was more than he had ever dared to hope for! He was so handsome… Xiao wanted to touch him to make sure it was real. It was so incredibly tempting… but he felt frozen in place.
"You know, as my mate, you are free to touch me however you want to, my love. And you were wonderful last night, you know," Zhongli continued to purr, he took Xiao's hand and kissed it gently.
Wonderful? Xiao tried to snort but ended up almost choking instead. He had behaved so scandalously last night… Xiao had never lost control like that before… and it was more than a little scary to think that he wanted to do all of it again- right now.
Zhongli grinned, looking into his eyes. Xiao dropped his gaze immediately. "Xiao, look at me, my love. You know that you- that we- did nothing wrong last night, don't you?"
He could hear the frown in his master's voice but Xiao was torn. He wanted to say yes! Fuck, he had never been happier than he was when Zhongli kissed him that first time. He would treasure that memory always.
After that first kiss though, Xiao was so afraid that he would wake up alone at the Inn again that he gave in to all of his baser instincts and desires. But now that he realized it was all real, that was terrifying… Because he wanted to do all of it again and he knew he shouldn't.
Xiao was mortified that there were still claw marks on Zhongli's shoulders; they were smaller now than they had been last night, but still… How could he have put those there? What was he thinking? Well, obviously he wasn't thinking at the time- that was the whole problem…
He was wonderful last night? Letting his god do all the work last night as they… had sex. Yeah, right. Xiao groaned miserably. He had been so shy and confused- it felt like he must have been a terrible disappointment.
Honestly, Xiao hadn't given any thought at all to what would happen if he actually woke up in his master's arms… Because that was impossible. Everything about this was ridiculous. So why couldn't he wake up? Why was he still sitting in his master's bed naked and why did his master look so amused?
Zhongli leaned forward on his elbows and nuzzled him. Xiao blushed, smiling in spite of himself before he managed to collect himself again.
This only made his master smile even more. "I assure you, you were indeed wonderful last night, my little bird. You trusted me with your body and your heart and I won't ever forget that. There is no shame in being inexperienced. Lovemaking is a skill that one can only learn by doing. But the emotions that guide it are not something that can be practiced."
The way his master was purring, and looking at him right now was making him hope that he would kiss him again. "Would you like to kiss me this time?"
Xiao nodded shyly and leaned toward him. His master held very still as their lips touched.
Xiao sighed with pleasure, his whole body already felt like it was on fire. The butterfly was back in his stomach again, and Xiao moaned as he licked slowly at his master's tongue.
The kiss lingered, still soft but now very sensual. He felt his master lay back onto the pillows and moved with him. Instinctively Xiao wanted to be closer to him. He didn't want to stop- but his body craved more of that wonderful heat and friction of last night.
Before Xiao knew what was happening, he was practically on top of his lord. He leaned over him. His master was kissing him breathless and Xiao felt very dazed, but he was happy too. Being in control of this moment was so hot he thought he might explode with pleasure already.
His master was careful not to touch him. But he groaned and deepened their kisses as Xiao accidentally touched his shoulder. Surprised, Xiao couldn't help recoiling at first, but when he realized it was a pleased response, he relaxed again.
He was so hot he was afraid he was going up in flames, but he still couldn't help wanting to be closer. Without even thinking about it, Xiao leaned over him fully. But he was so short that his body rubbed against his master's chest.
They both moaned but Xiao froze again, until he felt his master's voice in his mind. "Yes, my Xiao. Please touch me…"
By this time their kisses were ravenous and Xiao was so hot that he couldn't resist climbing fully on top of him. Xiao had one knee on either side of his master's waist and the friction was heavenly.
He couldn't have stopped if he had to! Xiao was overwhelmed by their voracious kisses. His master's abs felt so hard but his skin was soft and smooth beneath him. He couldn't help grinding against him and his lord bucked hard- nearly unseating him.
"F-Fuck!" His master growled against his lips. "Forgive my impatience, my love. I have always adored your straightforward curiosity but I wasn't expecting you to be this bold so quickly."
Xiao moaned, "Please- I need to feel you inside me again."
Zhongli smiled and nuzzled him gently. "As much as I obviously love kissing you, we have the rest of our ridiculously long lives to make love. I don't want to rush this. I was hoping to give you a chance to get more comfortable with the rest of my body."
Xiao blushed. Could his master be more perfect? He remembered wondering what it would feel like to touch him and taste him everywhere last night. "I… Are you sure?"
"Yes, my little bird. I want to have you as my mate- so I want you to feel safe, knowing you can touch me and kiss me however you want."
"Really?"
"Yes," Zhongli said. "Unless you would rather wait until after breakfast?"
Xiao shook his head, looking down at the width of Zhongli's chest and shoulders which were so much broader and thicker than his own. "No, I- do you want to wait?"
Zhongli smiled as he shook his head. "I will be happy either way. Our time together was always cut so short previously because I didn't want to accidentally reveal how much I love and care for you. I needed you to make the first move. Now I want you to think of me as your lover rather than your lord or master. Even though I know that isn't fair because that adjustment will not be easy for you."
Xiao smiled shyly, still looking at his master's beautiful body and the markings on it. He remembered all the ways that Zhongli had touched and kissed him last night and wondered if it was really okay for him to do the same now. "You are so beautiful…"
"As are you," Zhongli purred, arching under him when Xiao slid a finger down his shoulder to his chest. Although he knew that his master could reverse their positions any time he wanted to, being on top of him even for a moment was pretty heady stuff.
Xiao leaned down and kissed the trail that his finger had just traced, but he continued lower. Continuing to kiss and lick at one of his nipples. It had driven him crazy when Zhongli had done this to him last night and he was happy to see that it had the same effect on his master.
Xiao felt his master arch into him and nearly forgot about teasing him. How was he supposed to focus on touching this magnificent creature when he was really just wondering how to get Zhongli inside him again?
On the other hand, touching him like this was nice- he felt good knowing that his master liked what he was doing. And this was what Zhongli had asked him to do.
Xiao remembered how good it felt when his master left little love marks on him. He let his lips, fingers and tongue wander until he reached the side of his neck.
A particularly hard buck nearly unseated him but Xiao didn't stop- he nipped at it instead, gently before soothing the skin with a long lick. Slowly, gently Xiao got bolder since it was what his master seemed to like.
He nipped and sucked at his nipples and then lazily dipped his tongue into his belly button, his master giggled and Xiao started moving lower.
His master was hard and Xiao was fascinated by the length and girth of it. Fuck, that had felt so good inside him last night. He couldn't wait to feel it there again.
But for now he was just curious to know what his master tasted like. He couldn't fit it all in his mouth at once, but he started with playful kisses and long licks. The veins in it were large and seemed to be sensitive as he traced them with his tongue.
When he started to suck on it, Zhongli groaned and bucked his hips encouraging him. Xiao loved the scent and the taste of him, he wasn't sure he was doing this right, but his master seemed pleased as a dribble of precum appeared at the slit.
Xiao moaned at the taste of it. He wanted more.
"W-Wait. You don't have to-"
"I want to," Xiao said softly. He moaned as another bead of pleasure touched his tongue. "You taste good and I want more. Please, I want to watch you come like this."
Zhongi growled. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
"Yes," Xiao nodded, sucking hard on his cock.
"Fuck… that feels so good, my Xiao. May I assist you?"
"Yes. Show me how to touch you," Xiao nodded, mewling as his master stroked his hair, urging him to bob up and down. Xiao loved it and swallowed as much as he could when Zhongli finally came. "That was so hot…"
"After breakfast and a shower, I am going to fill you up with my cum and then lick it back out of you…"
Xiao's breath got caught in his throat. "Can we do it now?"
Zhongli nuzzled him and snorted. "I heard your stomach growling twenty minutes ago. Let's go. Too much jizz on an empty stomach isn't good."