A/N: Happy Saturday, my loves! I hope you're still with me and I hope you're prepared for the ending of this one! See you on the other side!
Shepard
Jenny Shepard absolutely hated sunrises. Not that she had anything against their visual appeal, but in her case, sunrises meant that she'd overworked herself and stayed at the office all night. Again. She frowned as she reached for her cup of coffee, its contents long gone cold, but as she took a long drink, the temperature didn't even register in her tired mind. She'd been overseeing an op that had recently gone south and to say that she was frustrated would have been a massive understatement.
Though she knew logically that she'd had no control over the way the op had fallen apart, she still blamed herself for it, still felt an immense guilt as she'd notified the families of the lost agents, and as hard as she'd tried, she hadn't been able to stop herself from feeling more than a little angry. Unfortunately for those around her, that anger had manifested itself in numerous ways, from the glare she'd given DiNozzo as he'd handed her his late report to the cold snappy tone she'd used when Gibbs had ventured up to her office to ask her what she'd wanted for lunch later that day.
He hadn't come outright and said as much, but she had seen the pain in his eyes as he'd left her office an hour ago, and as she ran her fingers through her tangled hair, she sighed in irritation. Why did she have to mess shit up so badly? Was it really that difficult to keep herself together? She swallowed the last of her cold coffee, closing her eyes tightly against the migraine she could feel creeping up on her, and when her phone rang, she jumped slightly.
"Shepard."
She hoped her voice didn't sound as tired as she felt.
"Hi, Mom. How's work?"
Jenny sighed, blinking hard.
"Complicated. How are you, Little One?"
Carly laughed, her voice warm.
"I'm good. I called to tell you something important."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I talked to my therapist Nikki, and she said that she found someone in her office that I can shadow when I'm finished with my classes. Isn't that great? I'll be able to really see if I've got what it takes to be a therapist."
The redhead smiled in spite of the blinding pain in her head, stronger than ever now, and nodded.
"That's amazing. I'm sure you'll do great. What time are you getting off work today?"
"Six-thirty," came the prompt reply, "You and Dad are coming to pick me up, right?"
"Wouldn't miss it," Jenny promised, "I'll drag us both out the door if that's what it takes."
She didn't add that she was the one who would likely need to be pulled away from her work. Gibbs had been more than a little annoyed by the fact that she hadn't left the building in three days, glaring at her more than once when she'd told him to leave without her. She could faintly hear Carly's voice in her ear, though she had no idea what she was saying, and when she finally forced herself to ficus on the words, she shook her head slowly.
"—and Evan's going to be singing there, so I thought maybe we could go. What do you think?"
"Sounds great, honey. I've never heard Evan sing before."
"You'll love it. Anyway, I'll see you later today. Have a good day at work."
"I'll try," Jenny said with a small laugh.
"Fair enough. Love you!"
"Love you, too."
By the time the work day came to an end, Jenny's migraine was so strong that she couldn't think, at least not about anything but the pain, and when Gibbs opened her door, she winced at the sound.
"You okay?"
She shook her head, her eyes tightly closed, and when his hand fell on her shoulder, she jumped slightly.
"What's wrong?"
"My head is killing me," she answered softly, "I've already taken aspirin and it didn't help worth a damn."
Even the gentle pressure of his lips on her hair was enough to make her eyes fill with tears, and when she opened them slowly, it took longer than she would have liked for the room to come into focus. Gibbs held out his hand, his own bright blue eyes never leaving her, and when she took it, he pulled her carefully to her feet, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"Let's go pick up Carly and then you can go home and get some rest. You're exhausted and working this much isn't good for you."
Jenny nodded once, too afraid to open her mouth for fear that the pain would make her vomit, and as he led her to the door, Gibbs kissed her cheek.
"At least I didn't have to drag you out this time."
If the pain in her head hadn't been so strong, she would have laughed.
Gibbs
As he watched Jenny disappear up the stairs the moment they got home, he frowned, her shaking steps worrying him more than he could explain. Carly gave him a warm smile as she swept past him, her hair bouncing behind her, and as she made her way into the kitchen, he couldn't help but notice that the very air felt lighter. Jenny had been right when she'd said that Carly's presence made the house warmer, more inviting, but he hadn't truly noticed just how much he'd missed her until now.
He could hear her moving around, opening and closing cabinets as she searched for the ingredients to cook dinner, and he couldn't help the smile that came over his face. She'd made such considerable progress during her treatment and he'd never felt more proud of her. After checking on her once, he walked up the stairs, hoping that Jenny was getting some much needed rest. She'd been working constantly over the last week and he knew that it was beginning to take its toll on her.
He slowly pushed open the bedroom door, not wanting the light from the hallway to aggravate the pain in her head, and when he saw her curled up on the bed, her eyes covered by her hand, he frowned. Making his way silently over to the bed, he sat down on the mattress, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"How are you feeling?"
She shrugged, her skin pale even in the darkness, and shifted so that she could see him better.
"I feel like there's a sledgehammer in my head," she said quietly.
"Is there any way I can help? Warm wash cloth? Ice pack?"
She shook her head, her eyes closing with the movement, and she swallowed thickly. He strongly suspected that she was fighting against throwing up, and he leaned down to kiss her lightly.
"Get some rest, Jen. Carly's making dinner, but if you don't feel like coming down, I can bring it to you."
"I don't think I can eat anything, Jethro," she whispered.
He nodded, kissing her again.
"If you change your mind, let me know. Love you."
"I love you, too."
As he walked back down the stairs to join Carly at the dinner table, Gibbs ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head slowly. The younger girl gave him a warm smile as he sat down next to her, eyeing the food she'd prepared with a hint of worry. He didn't know how she would react to eating now that she was out of treatment, but he said nothing as she passed him the potatoes she'd cooked. To his surprise, the meal was expertly made, and as he placed a generous portion of chicken onto his plate, he smiled.
"Looks pretty damn good, kid."
She returned his smile easily, taking her own smaller portion of chicken as he handed her the serving dish.
"Thanks. I've been reading all sorts of different recipes from this book that Nikki gave me. She thinks that cooking could be a way to repair my relationship with food."
"Sounds like good advice to me."
Carly nodded, spearing a piece of chicken with her fork and popping it into her mouth.
"How's Mom?"
He sighed, reaching for his glass of bourbon and taking a long drink.
"Head hurts pretty bad. Been happening a lot more lately."
Carly frowned.
"She did say that you guys have been working pretty much constantly the last few weeks."
Gibbs nodded, picking up his fork again.
"Yep. Today was the first day she's left the building all week. Couldn't even drag her out."
A long silence filled the room as Carly processed this new information and when he glanced at her from the corner of his eye, Gibbs couldn't help but notice the far-off look that had taken up residence in her bright blue eyes.
"You okay?"
She jumped slightly, lost in her thoughts, and when she finally nodded, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
"Just thinking about something I learned in the ward. One common thread among all of us what that we pushed our problems to the back of our minds by working so much that we didn't have the time to think about them. I was wondering what Mom was trying to avoid."
Gibbs thought hard, trying to think of anything that could be bothering Jenny, though he was coming up with no valid answers, and he shook his head, defeated.
"Dunno. There aren't any really painful anniversaries coming up and work is always stressful, so I don't think that's it."
They ate in comfortable silence for the rest of the meal, Gibbs congratulating Carly again on her success with the meal when they had finished, and as the younger girl began clearing the table, he was suddenly hit with a wave of missing Kelly so strong that it nearly took his breath away. Carly was so like what he'd imagined his little girl would have been, looks included, and when she began washing the dishes, he saw Kelly in her place, just as she'd looked right before he'd been deployed, standing on a kitchen chair to help Shannon as she'd cleaned their dinner plates.
The vision was so vivid, so real, that it took him longer than he would have liked to admit to realise that Carly was speaking to him, and as he was jolted back to reality, he caught the confused expression in her eyes.
"Is something wrong?" she asked worriedly.
"No. Just thinking."
"About your daughter?"
He frowned, puzzled.
"How'd you know?"
She smiled sadly, turning off the water and drying her hands on the towel hanging from the oven.
"You always get this look when you're thinking about her. Wistful, but painful. Like I could reach out and touch the sadness if I tried. You know, if you want to talk about her, I don't mind listening. I'd like to know a bit more about her. She's basically my sister, after all."
Gibbs nodded, nodding at her when she sat back down with a fresh cup of coffee, and he took a slow breath that shook too much for his liking.
"Kelly was...she was very much a typical little girl. Loved princesses, horses, and pink. She wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up because she wanted to help every animal she could. Was always bringing home strays. Played piano and when I was deployed, Shannon recorded her playing and sent it to me on a tape. It's in a box down in the basement. She looked a lot like you. Blonde hair, blue eyes, the prettiest smile...her mother's smile."
Carly took a drink from her mug, reaching over to take his hand, and smiled softly.
"I bet she was so proud of her daddy off fighting for his country."
He laughed shortly.
"She was. She hated it when I had to leave, begged me not to go, cried and hung onto my legs like you wouldn't believe. But Shannon wrote to me a few weeks later and said that Kelly told anyone who would listen that her dad was an "awesome army guy". Didn't have the heart to correct her and say the marines were different than the army."
"Sounds like she was definitely a Daddy's girl," Carly said quietly.
Gibbs nodded, feeling his eyes begin to burn.
"No doubt. She was my whole world."
Carly ran her thumb over the back of his hand, giving him an encouraging smile.
"She still is."
He shook his head, giving her a smile in return.
"Nah. I've got enough room for you and Jen in my world, too. You're my daughter, just as much as Kelly."
"Love you, Dad."
Gibbs smiled, kissing her hand before downing the remainder of his bourbon.
"Love you too, kid."
Hours later, long after Carly had gone up to bed, Gibbs found himself sitting on the couch in his living room, thinking about the discussion they'd had during dinner. Not only about Kelly, but the comment she'd made about Jenny had been spinning around in his head relentlessly ever since. What was she trying to run from? He knew she hadn't been faking her migraine, he'd seen the paleness of her skin and the pain in her eyes, but what was so difficult that she would willingly risk the pain just to avoid dealing with it? Though he'd spent hours trying to figure it out, his mind simply couldn't make sense of it.
He sighed as he stood and walked up the stairs, frowning when he pushed Carly's door open slightly to look in on her. The room was empty, making him even more confused than he'd been before, and as he walked down the hall, he wondered if perhaps she'd decided to visit Evan. After all, they hadn't seen each other much since Carly had gone into treatment. His confusion and slight worry evaporated when he opened the door to the master bedroom, smiling softly.
Carly, it seemed, had climbed into bed next to Jenny, her strawberry-blonde hair mingling with Jenny's fiery red on the pillows, and as he watched the two most important women in his life sleeping on the mattress, he backed out of the room, laughing quietly to himself. He closed the door silently, making his way back down the stairs for the night. The couch was comfortable enough for one night and even if it hadn't been, the sight he'd just seen would have made it worth any discomfort he felt.
Shepard
The bright sunlight streaming in from the window was enough to confuse Jenny from the moment she opened her eyes and as she glanced around the bedroom, she frowned when she realised it wasn't Gibbs in the bed next to her. A small smile immediately came across her face as she looked down at Carly's sleeping form, leaning down to kiss her hair lightly, and as she carefully de-tangled herself from the bed, she pulled on her favourite pair of yoga pants and one of Gibbs' marines sweatshirts.
She made her way quickly down the stairs, beyond thankful that the brutal migraine had finally ceased, and as she went in search of coffee, she wasn't at all surprised to see Gibbs sitting at the kitchen table, his own steaming coffee in his hands.
"Morning," he said as he took a small drink of the scalding liquid.
"Morning," she replied lightly.
"How's your head?"
"Much better," she said with a smile, "But I do have a few questions."
He nodded, waiting for her to sit down, and as soon as she did so, he raised his eyebrow in question.
"Why did my alarm not go off for work this morning?"
He smirked, making her realise that it had indeed been his doing, just as she had suspected.
"You've been working into the ground. You needed time to recuperate. So we both took a personal day."
"Uh-huh," she said sarcastically, taking a careful drink of her coffee, "and what makes you think that?"
His answering stare was enough to make her laugh and she nodded, conceding his point.
"Where did you sleep last night?"
"With a hooker," he replied promptly.
She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her, nor could she stop herself from rolling her eyes.
"Right. What was her name?"
"Didn't ask. She was a brunette, though."
Jenny laughed again, shaking her head as her eyes met his over her cup.
"See, now I know you're lying. You don't go for brunettes."
"Fair enough," he laughed.
He was silent for a moment, raising his cup to his lips, and when he spoke again, there was still a hint of laughter in his voice.
"Slept on the couch. Didn't want to wake up Carly."
Jenny nodded, her eyes watching him closely.
"How was dinner? Did she have any trouble?"
Gibbs shook his head and the relief that Jenny felt wash over her was so strong that for a moment, she couldn't speak. She'd been so worried that Carly would still struggle with eating a full meal so soon after being released and to hear otherwise made her happier than she'd been in days.
"Good. Oh, speaking of Carly, did she mention Evan's show tonight?"
Again, his head shook and Jenny laughed. Figured that she'd forgotten to mention it to him.
"Evan's singing at a little nightclub type of bar. Carly asked if we would want to go with her to see it."
"Sounds like fun. Should we invite Jack?"
Jenny nodded, smiling. She hadn't seen Jack in weeks and she'd have been lying if she'd said she didn't miss him. He'd been busy with his own life of course, but the neglect of their friendship had been entirely her own fault.
"Sure. Maybe even his boyfriend would come with us."
She stood up from her chair to search for her cell and when her vision became suddenly spotted with black, she froze, her hand tightly gripping the table as she waited for it to pass.
"Jen? You okay?"
Jenny nodded slowly, not wanting to move too fast, and gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
"Just got a little dizzy. I think I stood up too fast."
She could feel his eyes watching her, but she ignored it as she walked into the living room. A quick scan of the room showed that her phone was on the coffee table and as she picked it up, she blinked hard. She didn't want to admit to Gibbs (let alone herself) that she'd been having more than a few dizzy spells lately and she forced herself to push her emotions down as she dialed Jack's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jack. It's Jenny."
"Jenny! I haven't heard from you in forever, woman! How've you been?"
"Working like crazy," she told him with a laugh, "I really am sorry I haven't been able to talk. But listen, the reason I called is because Carly's best friend is singing at a nightclub tonight and we wanted to invite you and Eric. Drinks are on me."
"What time?"
"The show starts at eight, so we're probably going to get there at seven-thirty."
"Okay, sounds good! Eric gets off work at six, so we'll grab dinner and then meet you there."
Jenny gave him the address and name of the club, smiling as she hung up the phone. She knew she should have probably been feeling guilty for taking the day off from work when there was so much that needed to be done, but she was slowly coming to the realisation that she didn't really care. Besides, she'd pulled more than her fair share of all-nighters over the last few weeks. One day wouldn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Or, at least this was what she was trying to tell herself.
The lights in the club were thankfully dim and as Jenny and Gibbs sat down at a table in the corner, Carly made her way backstage to speak with Evan. Their friendship was still mending (understandably so, in Jenny's opinion) and as the younger girl waved to her, she forced a weak smile. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Jack and his boyfriend Eric making their way through the door and she held up her hand to get their attention.
Gibbs gave her a kiss on the cheek before excusing himself to get their drinks, shaking the hands of both Jack and Eric as he passed, and when Jack hugged her tightly, Jenny smiled.
"Hey, Jack. How are you?"
"Good. Really good. I got a promotion at work and Eric is starting his new job next week."
Jenny glanced at Eric, giving him a warm smile as Gibbs returned, handing her the glass of bourbon silently. She thanked him quietly, taking a small drink, and turned her attention to Eric.
"What's your new job?"
"I got a job as a chef in that new Italian restaurant downtown. Good money, free food when I'm working...can't complain."
"Congratulations," Jenny said, smiling at him, "How much do I have to bribe you to cook dinner for us one night?"
Eric laughed, shaking his head.
"For you two, nothing. Just make sure you have a nice bottle of wine."
They were joined by Carly minutes later, who took her place between Gibbs and Jenny, her eyes lighting up as she watched her best friend step out onto the stage.
"Hi, everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Evan Linton. This first song I've written is very personal to me and if you know, you know. I hope you like it."
She picked up her guitar, strumming it slowly, and as soon as she began to sing, Jenny was frozen, staring at the younger girl as though she'd never seen her before.
It's time to face reality
You are not the one for me
We're lost in a circular motion
Fighting the waves of this crashing ocean
We once were so high we were celestial
Unchained by the impossible
Disappearing into the raging storm
The words on our lips never taking form
Standing in the rain and thunder
If I try to swim now, I'll go under
I'll go under
Is my heart where you belong
If I claim you in a song
Jenny's eyes were locked on Evan as she sang, her voice filled with a desperate longing, the melody showcasing her haunting lower range, and she gripped her drink with numb fingers. When Carly had told her that Evan's plan for her career had been to sing, she had initially dismissed it as the somewhat naive dreams of a teenage girl, but watching her now, the redhead knew she'd been wrong. Evan had talent that she could only dream of and she felt just as proud of her as if it were her own daughter on the stage.
The song ended a few moments later and Jenny clapped happily, her smile brighter than it had been in days. When Evan began playing the next one, Jenny turned to Carly, her voice loud enough to be heard yet still soft enough to not disturb those around them.
"Why didn't you tell me Evan could sing?"
Carly frowned.
"I did."
"You didn't tell me she could sing like that."
Carly laughed, nodding at her once.
"Fair enough."
As she reached for her drink, Jenny's vision suddenly began to spin, and she blinked, fighting the feeling of panic building in her chest. What was wrong with her? She shook her head slowly, trying to concentrate on the music, and finally after several agonising minutes, the feeling passed.
"You okay, Jenny?"
She glanced up at the sound of Jack's voice, nodding carefully, but even in the darkness, she could see that he wasn't convinced.
"You don't look okay."
Jenny stood up carefully, hoping that splashing some cold water on her skin would help the situation, and from the moment she took her first step, she knew it was a mistake. The blackness dancing around the edges of her vision bloomed out, enveloping her in darkness, and as her knees gave way beneath her, she didn't even try to stop it. Jack's voice, calling her name, came to her distorted, echoing in her head, and when she hit the ground, she didn't feel anything.
Gibbs
As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to get a sense of familiarity in the hospital waiting room. Between work and Carly's health scares, he was starting to get used to it, though he doubted there would ever be a time when he didn't feel that anxious dread tugging at his darkest fears in the back of his mind. Eric had called the ambulance almost as soon as Jenny has passed out, something he was profoundly grateful for and as they sat in the waiting room, he could feel the couple watching him. Carly had stayed behind at the club to tell Evan exactly what had happened and when he glanced at the clock on the wall, Gibbs sighed. Why did these situations always take so damn long?
"She's going to be okay, Jethro," Jack said, his voice reassuring, "She's probably just pushed herself too far at work and now her body is protesting. You know how much of a workaholic Jenny can be."
Gibbs said nothing, though he knew the younger man's words held some truth. Jenny was known to push herself more than a little beyond her limits and it wasn't unlikely that her body simply wasn't able to handle it any longer.
"Agent Gibbs?"
He glanced up at the sound of his name, recognising the doctor as one he'd seen after being injured on a case once, and stood quickly, staying silent as he was led to a corner of the room.
"I wanted to let you know that we've been running a wide array of tests on Jenny's blood to best determine what the cause of her collapse was today and I wanted to go over the results with you. We ruled out pregnancy immediately, checked her blood sugar, blood pressure, thyroid issues, and all of that lab work came back as normal."
"That's good."
"Yes, it is," the younger man agreed, "We also did a spinal tap to check the pressure in the central nervous system. This test also helps to identify Inflammation or bacterial infection. I'd also like to have an MRI done just to make sure we've covered everything. She's being prepped for that as we speak and as soon as that's been completed, you'll be allowed to see her. It should only take about an hour."
"Thank you," Gibbs said quietly, shaking his hand.
"I'll let you know if anything changes."
"Dad?"
Carly's voice was strangely loud in the silence, making him turn, and as she began making her way closer, the doctor nodded at him once.
"I'll let you fill in your daughter."
Before Carly had a chance to speak, Gibbs took her by the hand and guided her to the chairs next to Jack and Eric, waiting for her to sit.
"What's going on?"
After relaying what the doctor had explained to him, Gibbs could see the tears shining in Carly's bright blue eyes, and he didn't waste a moment pulling her into his arms, kissing her hair lightly.
"She's gonna be okay, kid."
"You don't know that," Carly said quietly, her voice muffled by his shoulder.
Though he hated to admit it (and he never would out loud), she was absolutely right.
An hour and a half later, after Jenny had been cleared to have visitors, Gibbs, Carly, Jack and Eric all made their way into the pristine hospital room, each one careful to be as quiet as possible, but it proved to be unnecessary. Jenny gave them all a tired smile as they closed the door behind them, and Gibbs immediately leaned over to kiss her forehead lightly.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Exhausted," she admitted, "They drew so much blood that I'm surprised I have any left, and I don't know if you know this, but MRI machines are incredibly loud. Not an ideal situation to be in."
Gibbs smiled, stepping back to let Jack closer and when he hugged Jenny carefully, he gave her a serious look.
"Don't scare me like that again. You're the first friend I ever made in this town. I can't lose you."
"I'll do my best."
"You'd better," Jack threatened jokingly, "and you really need to get some colour. Face it honey, pale skin is so six years ago."
The words had the desired effect and made her laugh, something Gibbs was thankful for, and after Eric had hugged her, Carly threw her arms around her, hugging her so tightly that she visibly winced.
"Carly, ease up," Gibbs chastised gently, "Don't crush her."
"Sorry," Carly whispered, I didn't mean to hurt you."
Jenny smiled, shaking her head slowly.
"You didn't," she lied, her right eye twitching just enough that Gibbs was the only one who noticed it, "I'm okay."
She distracted herself from the situation by talking to Carly, Jack, and Eric, but as Gibbs watched her from his place near the end of the bed, he could see the fear lingering in her glassy green eyes. He knew she would rather die than admit it and knew better than to call her on it, so he wisely stayed silent. When it became obvious that she was beginning to get tired, Jack and Eric dismissed themselves from the room, each one hugging her before making their way to the door.
"Keep me updated," Jack said as he waved.
"We will," Jenny assured him.
The silence that settled over them after the door had closed again was eerie and Gibbs couldn't seem to shake the feeling no matter what he did. What he really wanted was the chance to talk to Jenny alone, but he knew that getting Carly to leave would be a challenge.
"Carly, would you do me a favour and go down to the cafeteria and bring back a cup of coffee? Get one yourself if you want it."
He could see her wrestling with the choice to do as he'd asked or to stay and when she finally nodded, he gave her a smile.
"Thanks, kid."
Gibbs reached for Jenny's hand as soon as she'd gone, running his fingers over it slowly. Her skin was cold to the touch, her fingers like ice, and he frowned as he noticed how badly she was shaking.
"You scared the hell out of me, Jen."
She nodded.
"I know. I didn't mean to."
She was silent for a long moment, gathering her thoughts, and when she spoke again, her voice was just above a whisper, trembling as the words fell from her lips.
"What if I'm dying?"
"You're no—"
"Think about it, Jethro," she interrupted, her voice breaking on his name, "All the shit I put my body through over the years...the drinking, the multiple eating disorders, working too much, not sleeping for days at a time...what if it was too much? What if I did too much damage?"
He said nothing, allowing her to work through the thoughts on her own, but when she spoke next, her question was like a knife to his heart.
"What if it's too late?"
Gibbs moved closer, pulling her into his arms, holding her as tightly as he dared, not wanting to disturb any of the machines currently hooked up to her body.
"It's not too late," he said, his cheek resting on the top of her head, "You've still got a long life ahead of you."
She shook her head, taking a shaky breath as she tried to keep her tears from falling.
"I'm scared," she whispered.
"I know," he answered, kissing her hair, "and it's okay to be scared. But no matter what happens, you won't have to do any of this alone. I've got you, Jen."
She turned just enough that she could see him, her eyes locking on his.
"I know."
Gibbs could tell that she was dangerously close to crying and he smiled as a sudden idea came to him.
"Hey, Jen?"
"Hmm?"
"Marry me."
She laughed softly, shaking her head as she looked at him, her eyes still slightly hazy.
"So you can live out the events of some sappy romance novel and be the tragic young widower again? I don't think so. You don't get to capitalise off my dying."
"You're not dying," he told her seriously.
"Regardless, I'm not accepting your deathbed proposal. Do I make myself clear, Leroy Jethro?"
"Crystal, Madam Director."
She lightly slapped his arm, rolling her eyes as she did so.
"I hate you."
"No, you don't," he said knowingly, kissing her gently, "You love me and you know it."
Jenny nodded, her expression suddenly serious as she met his gaze.
"You're right," she said softly, "I do love you. More than I've ever loved anyone."
Carly chose that precise moment to reappear in the doorway, her smile perfectly in place as she handed him the coffee she'd brought, but as she sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the bed, Gibbs caught the look in her eyes. It was sad, worried, almost panicked, and he had the strong suspicion that she'd been standing outside the door for quite some time. The coffee in his hand only reinforced that belief as it wasn't nearly as hot as he'd been expecting, and as she took a drink from her own cup, he gave her a knowing glance.
Shepard
The bright light streaming through the window reflected off the blinding white surfaces of the hospital room, waking her much earlier than she would have liked, and when she noticed that Gibbs was still in the chair he'd occupied the previous night, she smiled sadly. Not that she had expected anything less, but she couldn't help feeling slightly guilty for his sleeping in the chair all night. She knew he was just as exhausted as she'd been the past few weeks and he needed as much rest as he could get. But honestly, short of holding a gun to his head, she couldn't actually force him to go home.
Come on, Shepard, she berated herself sharply, Don't borrow trouble. You've got more important things to worry about right now.
The polite knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts and she smiled at the doctor as he walked into the room. Nurses primarily took care of anything she needed throughout her time spent in hospitals, so to be seeing a doctor this early likely meant that there was news. She only hoped it wasn't as bad as she'd been thinking. Actually, she knew it wasn't. She didn't think anything could be as bad as the thoughts that had been running on a constant loop through her mind.
Jenny reached out to wake Gibbs, gently nudging him from sleep, and as he blinked in confusion, she nodded at the doctor.
"Good morning, Jenny."
"Good morning," she replied, though time would tell just how "good" it was, "Do you have any updates?"
He nodded.
"Yes, and I'm very glad that you're both here. We've been doing various tests all night trying to determine the cause of your dizzy spells and I wanted to clarify a few things. You said that you've been getting migraines more frequently than usual, correct?"
Jenny nodded.
"Yes, but I've always had chronic migraines. I just figured they were getting worse due to work stress."
"And normally you would have been correct. But you also mentioned that you'd been experiencing muscle spasms and that you've been feeling more fatigued than usual. Combined with the shaking in your hands that I can see right now, this led me to run tests that I wouldn't normally consider."
Jenny was beginning to feel impatient and when Gibbs spoke up suddenly, she jumped, having forgotten for a moment that he was there.
"What does this all mean?"
"Have either of you ever heard of multiple sclerosis?"
Jenny nodded.
"I've heard of it, but...are you saying that's what's wrong with me?"
One look at his face told her all she needed to know and as hard as she tried, Jenny found that she couldn't stop the tears from filling her eyes. She could hear Gibbs asking questions, could see his lips moving as his mouth formed the words, but she couldn't comprehend any of it. She could only think of one thing and when she opened her mouth, the words came out softer than she'd intended.
"Am I going to die?"
The doctor met her eyes seriously.
"There's no cure. However, treatments can help speed recovery from attacks, modify the course of the disease and manage symptoms. Most people with MS have a relapsing-remitting disease course. They experience periods of new symptoms or relapses that develop over days or weeks and usually improve partially or completely. These relapses are followed by quiet periods of disease remission that can last months or even years."
She nodded, though it didn't escape her notice that he'd never given her an outright answer. Her grip on Gibbs' hand tightened as they listened to the doctor outline symptoms and treatment options, and when he'd finally left the room minutes later, Jenny closed her eyes, unable to believe that this was really happening.
"Jen?"
She opened her eyes slowly, emerald locking on sapphire, and Gibbs leaned closer, running his fingers through her hair.
"You're not going to die. Do you understand me?"
Jenny nodded, though her mind was a million miles away, and he kissed her gently.
"What are we going to tell Carly?" she asked.
"The truth. No point in lying to her. She'd figure it out anyway."
As she struggled to process the information that had been presented to her, Jenny shook her head, feeling more than a little annoyed with this turn of events. So she was sick. Big deal. Loads of people who were sick lived normal lives. And she wasn't giving up that easily. She'd worked too hard to get where she was and she'd be damned if she let something like this take it away.
She wasn't going to die. That's all there was to it.
Not today.
A/N: Song used in this chapter was "Drowning" by Jana Larkin. Such an amazing song/artist. Look her up if you have a chance! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Drop me a line and let me know!