A/N: Hi!
Here comes chapter 12 back with Roy and Riza. We hope that you enjoy it and please don't hesitate to share your thoughts in the reviews section.
Thanks for reading!
See you in two weeks!
Golden and Flame
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist characters don't belong to us. We are just having fun with them.
Chapter 12. Loss
It was an ordinary Friday night, where sometimes the Mustang unit would celebrate the weekend by going out to enjoy a few drinks. However, on this occasion they had had a lot of work and the men of the unit had accumulated their personal commitments, so instead of going out to have fun, each one went to resolve their personal matters. It was almost 9 p.m. and only Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye were left. She had left the office to take the day's paperwork to the headquarters records.
For his part, Roy was arranging, or rather trying to arrange the mess he had made on his desk before finally being able to retire for the day. Just at that moment the phone rang and, after an exhausted sigh, he answered it, finding the voice of a young lady, who told him that a call was being redirected to him through an outside line on behalf of Lieutenant Colonel Hughes.
Roy rubbed his neck, trying to shake off the fatigue of the moment and gather some energy for the, without a doubt, energetic call from his friend. He was almost certain it was one of his friend's typical calls bragging about his beautiful daughter and wife and probably to continue to berate him for not attending his little Elicia's birthday party last month. By way of compensation, he had sent the little girl a beautiful teddy bear as a sign of apology, but for Maes that definitely wouldn't be enough. Since her birth, Hughes had tried to involve him in his joy, trying to share that joy with him despite his resistance. Inwardly Roy was grateful for his friend's noble gesture, but sometimes he would exaggerate so much that it suffocated him, causing Roy to get the feeling that Maes was doing it on purpose to achieve his goal of convincing him to marry and finally start his own family, or rather, retry to do so.
Roy let out a sigh and immediately, as soon as the communication was established, threatened to hang up on him if it was again about his constant bragging about his family, however he did not receive the typical cheerful greeting from his friend nor one of his pouts for not heeding his advice. This puzzled the colonel so he began to call Hughes again and again without receiving any response until the line went dead unexpectedly. At that instant he felt a shiver run through his whole body and his chest tighten as a sign of a bad feeling. Overcoming the fear that this omen was generating in him, he dialed Hughes' office number a couple of times without getting an answer, then he tried the number of the reception of the Central Command headquarters and, after several minutes that seemed like hours, he finally got through to someone. Apparently there was some kind of commotion in those places because of the delay in answering the call and the apology of the secretary who answered it. This only made him more nervous and anxious, and it kept getting worse until he felt the blood in his veins freeze when the secretary answered his questions about the lieutenant colonel.
"I'm very sorry, Colonel Mustang, but... Lieutenant Colonel Hughes was just found dead in a phone booth in a park near the installations." Said the secretary between sobs.
Forcing his throat to form words despite the huge lump forming in it, Roy replied. "It has to be a mistake."
"I'd like to tell you it is, but unfortunately it's not."
With nothing more to say, Roy abruptly hung up the phone, sat back in his chair inhaling and exhaling deeply as he ducked his head and held it in his hands while his elbows rested on the surface of his desk. It can't be, this must be a mistake, it has to be.
A few minutes later, the sound of the office door being opened was heard following Riza's entrance, which directed her steps towards Roy's private office, though he didn't flinch despite noticing her presence.
"Sir." She spoke cautiously, slowly approaching until she was in front of his desk.
From her tone of voice, he could sense that something was wrong, but he still didn't react to her call. He was so stunned by the news he had just received that he still couldn't and wouldn't believe it was true.
Riza, receiving no response, again insisted by speaking softly. "Sir, when I was arranging the paperwork in the records room..." She inhaled deeply, before continuing. "Information started coming in from Central HQ..."
"Is it true then? Really... is he dead?" He interrupted her, speaking almost in a whisper.
She immediately understood that the two were referring to the same thing, by his behavior and sudden change of mood, being that before leaving for the records room she had seen him normal, with his whiny mood after being tied to the paperwork for several hours straight, but now it was obvious that he was totally discouraged and sad. Although she had no idea how he had found out if the information had barely arrived.
Riza felt terrible to hear the news. She had treated Hughes during the war and had even interacted on a few occasions with his wife and daughter. She had thought highly of him even before she met him in person, because Roy had always told her about him before she joined the military. She understood perfectly what Hughes meant to Roy, he was his best friend, he was practically his brother, he was what Rebecca was to her. A lump rose in her throat and she felt a lot of pain as she thought of the next words she would say to Roy.
Riza ducked her head and whispered. "I'm very sorry, sir. Lieutenant Colonel Hughes...was killed."
He tensed. "Is there a chance it's a mix-up?" he asked in a low tone.
She shook her head instinctively, as she knew he wasn't looking at her. "No, Sir..." She paused slightly to keep from breaking down. "Two people have recognized him."
Roy tightened his grip on his left hand, tugging his black hair as he pulled his right hand away from his head to form a fist to then slam it hard against the wood of his desk.
" Dammit!" Roy yelled.
He stood up from his chair and turned around so that he was facing the large window behind his desk. He began to take a deep breath, trying to process the information he had just received. He refused to accept that this was all true. Riza remained in her position without moving, also processing the news. She kept glancing at Roy. She knew the news was affecting him and she was worried about how he would cope. According to what Maes himself had once told her on one occasion, Roy, after his return from Ishval followed by the revelation of his son, had been drinking too much until shortly before she started working in his unit. When she joined she noticed he was still doing it, but in a more moderate way.
Now with Maes, she didn't know what could happen and worst of all, she felt so helpless. Riza wished she could get closer, be able to hug and comfort him, but given their working relationship, it would not go over well and could be misinterpreted. So she opted to remain silent for a moment longer, hoping that her simple company might soothe and comfort him at least a little.
After a few minutes, Roy ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily, wishing that way all his troubles would go away. At that moment, he remembered that Riza was still there in front of his desk. He just had to turn to see her, but he didn't want to yet. He knew that if he did it would probably shatter what little control he had left. With her he had never had any trouble showing her his fragile side, but it wasn't the right place. What comforted him a little was the simple fact of knowing she was there, of feeling her presence, although, in those moments, what he wanted most was to hug her tightly to avoid losing himself in the whirlpool of pain that was building inside him. He knew that now more than ever he needed her by his side or else he would go insane.
"Lieutenant...I need to go to Central first thing tomorrow morning." Roy said suddenly without turning to look at her. "I need you to come with me...even though I know it's the weekend-"
"I understand, Sir. Do you wish to ride in your car or do you prefer the train?" Riza interrupted him. She definitely did not wish to leave him alone at such times.
"Train... I don't think I'm in optimal condition to drive..."
"If you like, I can do it-"
He shook his head as he interrupted her. "No, Lieutenant. We are both very tired today, it is late and we will have very few hours of sleep. We'd better go by train."
"Yes, sir. It seems to me that the first train to Central leaves at 6 a.m-"
Before Riza could continue, he spoke. "Yes, that's the one I was thinking of. Tomorrow we'll meet at the train station a few minutes before that time."
"Okay, Sir."
Roy turned and looked at her, "Thank you, Lieutenant."
For the first time since the news broke, Riza could see his face. Despite the hour, they both knew that there were still a few soldiers in the barracks, so she could see that Roy had put on his professional mask to face them. However, she knew him like the back of her hand so she could perfectly notice the pain he was feeling just by looking into his eyes, which also caused her immense pain. At this he averted his gaze.
"We'd better get going, Lieutenant. It's late and it's going to be a heavy weekend." Roy began to walk toward the exit of his private office, relinquishing the way for her to leave. Once the door was closed, he pulled out his silver watch to look at the time. It was almost ten o'clock at night and, despite the agreement they had with Riza's departure time, she had stayed by his side without hesitation. He kept his watch in his pocket and then each of them put on his coat.
"Lieutenant, allow me to take you to your apartment."
"I appreciate that, sir, but it's not necessary."
"It's too late now."
"Don't worry."
"I insist...please." Roy said these last words almost in a whisper.
Riza watched him carefully and understood perfectly that he was worried about her going to her apartment alone and not because he doubted her abilities to protect herself, but because of what had just happened to his friend.
" Okay, sir. Thank you."
The car ride to Riza's apartment was short, but it felt very long to both of them because of the awkward silence that surrounded them. She didn't know what to say to Roy and she knew he was immersed in his own thoughts. When they pulled into the driveway of the building where her apartment was located, he parked the car on the side of the curb and Riza couldn't help but look at him and place her hand on his arm, squeezing it gently in support. He looked into her eyes and she returned his gaze trying to convey how much she was hurt by Hughes' news but most of all how much it hurt to see him suffer. She also sought to convey to him all her support and comfort. Roy placed his hand over Riza's and squeezed it gently.
"Thank you." He whispered.
"You can always count on me." She whispered back.
Roy closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. After a few seconds, reluctantly, he released her hand and she began to step out of the vehicle.
In a soft voice, Riza said goodbye. "We'll see each other tomorrow, try to get some rest."
He nodded. "You too."
The next day was extremely difficult for both of them. Riza was able to sleep for a couple of hours while Roy, by the look on his face, hadn't slept at all. The train ride was quiet, although neither was able to sleep in their compartment despite the other's insistence to do so. As soon as they arrived in Central, they sought out a hotel on the outskirts of the city to leave their bags in their respective rooms and then headed for the headquarters, where the final farewell to Maes Hughes would be said before burying him. Surprisingly, the military had arranged the burial arrangements very quickly, as if they wanted to hide something, a hypothesis that was further intensified after the words they had with Major Armstrong after the funeral ceremony.
Undoubtedly, the burial had been a very painful event, much more than Riza had imagined. Just seeing the pain that Gracia and Elicia were going through had broken her heart. For a moment, Riza imagined being in Gracia's place and could picture all of her pain. The very thought of Roy being the one who was dead made her chest tighten and made her think that if that happened, she would not have the strength to go forward with the goals they had set because her son had lost him a long time ago and Roy was the only thing she had left, the only thing that made her cling to life. At that moment she realized that she would not have the strength that Gracia was showing, mainly because of her little daughter, since Riza had no doubt that the moment Roy died, she would follow him right away since she had resigned herself to the fact that she would never see her son again. So, as she had promised Roy years before, she would follow him to hell itself.
At the end of the burial, Riza again felt the helplessness inside her as Roy discreetly allowed himself to shed a few tears in the shadow of his military cap. She wanted so badly to get closer, to hug him, to comfort him, to tell him that she would always be there for him, but she couldn't do it there, where any other officer might see them and denounce them for fraternizing. So, when she passed him his coat, she only allowed herself to leave her hand on his arm for a little longer than the time required, propitiating a slight contact between them when he took the garment. It wasn't much, but it was all she could do at that moment to convey to him that he was not alone.
In the evening, after spending the entire afternoon in and around Central Command trying to get as much information as possible about Hughes' murder, the two went to their hotel. Before heading to their rooms, Riza insisted that they go to the dining room for some dinner. Reluctantly, Roy barely ate a bit of his plate. Riza understood that he wasn't hungry, but she was worried that he wasn't eating properly. During dinner, like most of the day, Roy didn't chat much and wore his mask of stiffness and seriousness, but Riza could see through it and visualize the deep pain and sense of loss he was suffering. After finishing their dinner, they headed to their rooms to try to get some rest, but before they each went into their rooms, a few words were said.
"Thank you for joining me, Lieutenant" Roy said in a serious tone standing with his back to her, as he kept his hand on his doorknob.
Her room was across the hall from his, so she looked over her shoulder at him. "There's nothing to be thankful for, sir. I was very fond of the Lieut...Brigadier General...and very fond of you, too. Please try to get some rest."
He nodded his head. " Get some rest, Lieutenant. Good night." He said quietly.
"Good night, sir."
Without further ado, the two entered their rooms. Riza decided to take a bath to try to relax, without much success. When she came out she put on her pajamas and sat on the bed to read a bit, looking for a way to distract herself. But her mind refused to stop thinking about Roy, about wishing she could be by his side comforting him and helping him cope with his loss. Also, an uneasiness had arisen in her as to how Hughes' death would affect Roy in the long run, as his behavior when they were searching for clues to Hughes' killer had left her with a strange tightness in her chest. From what they could find out from Major Armstrong, they knew they would be up against something dangerous and Roy would not stop until he found the person responsible for his friend's death. She understood Roy's desire to know who it was that took the life of such a good man as Hughes, but she was concerned that he wanted to do it to seek revenge instead of justice.
After a while of trying to concentrate on her book, she sighed and turned to look at the small clock on the nightstand next to her bed that read midnight. He probably hasn't fallen asleep and must be trying to clear his mind to do so. It is very late, there is no more movement and we are in a hotel on the outskirts of the city. Perhaps it would be all right if I just go and make sure he is all right. Without further ado, she closed her book and then placed it on the nightstand. She stood up to put on her robe, grabbed her key and headed for the room across the hall from hers. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door and then knocked and waited for an answer. A few minutes passed and she received none. She hoped he was sleeping, but she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't go to sleep so easily under the current circumstances. So she knocked again receiving the same silence, which made her feel a shiver run down her spine at the worry of not knowing where her commanding officer was.
Upon discovering that Roy was not in his room (which surely meant that he was not even in the hotel), Riza had the desire to go out and look for him, but she knew that Central was a very big city so it would be difficult to find him so she had no choice but to desist for the moment from that idea and return to her room.
Knowing that she would not be able to sleep until she was certain that Roy was safe and sound in his room, Riza lay back on her bed and continued to try to read while still paying attention to the sounds outside so that she could detect the moment when the colonel would return. After what had just happened with Hughes, she wouldn't feel at ease until she saw him in front of her. Every minute that passed with no sign of Roy's return put a new knot in her stomach at the uncertainty of where he might be. Those minutes turned into hours, until around 3 a.m., she heard the opening of a door. He immediately stood up and looked through the peephole of his door wishing it was Roy. It was indeed the black-haired man, who was dressed in civilian clothes entering his room. She felt a little relieved to see him back, but that was not enough, she needed to talk to him, give him her support and comfort but not as her subordinate, but as her friend who still loved him despite the time and everything that had happened between them.
She took a deep breath and again put on her robe to leave her room heading for the front room. Once in front of the door, she knocked and waited impatiently for Roy to appear, which he did after a moment. He was still in his dark dress pants, a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the first top buttons undone. His gaze was cold and tired at first, but upon realizing it was her, he relaxed and Riza instantly realized that he was drunk. It wasn't the first time she had seen him slightly inebriated, as during the outings they had with their teammates in the unit and even on those occasions when Maes was visiting he would occasionally overdo the drinks. But this was the first time she had seen him in this state, staggering and looking a little lost. Also, on this occasion the reason for his drunkenness was not for fun as in the past.
"Mmm... Lieutenant... to what... do I owe your visit?" Roy said a little choppy, but suddenly his alcoholic face became completely serious, changing to one of concern and seriousness. "Did something happen? Are you okay?"
Great, Roy, you went off to get drunk to try to forget your pain by leaving the person you care most about unprotected. If any danger threatened you right now, you would not be in a position to protect her and you would fail to do so just as you did with Hughes. His mind reproached him, making him feel guilty, but before his mind could continue to reprimand him, she intervened.
"Sir, do you know what time it is?" Riza asked in a neutral voice.
Instinctively, Roy reached his right hand toward his pants pocket to pull out his silver watch, opened it and grimaced as he noticed the time. Did she notice his absence? Had she been expecting him?
"It's very late, or rather I should say you should congratulate me, Lieutenant. I'm getting up early today." He tried to joke without much success, as he didn't have the mood or the desire to do so so his tone was very monotone.
Riza sighed and shook her head in disapproval of his actions. "Sir, may I have a word?"
He just nodded and gave way for her to enter his room. As soon as she passed, he locked the door and walked over to his bed to take a seat and grab the glass with whiskey that sat on the nightstand next to a bottle of the same liquid. He gestured for her to make herself comfortable as well, which she politely denied fixing her gaze on the glass he held to his lips to down the drink in one gulp, to later pour himself another.
" May I pour you one, Lieutenant?" Roy said raising the bottle and slurring his words slightly.
"No, thank you, sir. I'm fine this way. I'd rather we cut to the chase." Riza replied in a neutral tone, trying to control her emotions that were trying to come out when she saw the state Roy was in.
"Okay, Lieutenant, you say." Roy said without letting go of his glass.
She inhaled deeply before speaking again. "Sir, it's very dangerous for you to be walking around the city alone in that state."
He laughed bitterly. "Dangerous?" he snorted. "Come on, Lieutenant, I'm not a little boy they can kidnap anymore."
Riza looked at him seriously. "You know perfectly well what I mean. We have seen firsthand that there are people who would make an attempt on your life. In that state you would not be able to defend yourself." She reprimanded him.
Roy tensed, he knew she was right. He sighed and took another sip of his drink under her intense gaze. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant. But as you can see, I'm here...safe and sound." He paused as he looked intently at his drink and tightened his grip on it. "Unfortunately Hughes wasn't as lucky as I was, luck that he deserved more than I. He shouldn't be dead, he shouldn't be leaving his wife and daughter behind. He had all the courage and joy to go on. He had someone who was always waiting for him at home. I, on the other hand... I have no home to return to... no one is depending on me... I am totally expendable." He replied bitterly.
Riza walked over to stand in front of him. "What about your aunt? Don't you think about what she would feel if something happened to you?" she spat.
He remained with his head down without answering, preferring to take another swig of his drink. Just as he grabbed the bottle to refill his glass, he felt the warmth of her hand on his, stopping him.
"What about me?" she said quietly looking up at him with much concern.
He raised his head slightly so he could see her. He didn't like the expression she had, but in those moments his pain was greater that it was blinding him from acting in the right way. He was exhausted physically and, above all, mentally. What he wished was to be able to forget for a moment what was happening, so he tried again to refill his glass to no avail, as she took the bottle away from him.
"What the hell are you doing, Lieutenant?! It's my bottle, I already told you that you can join me, but if you refuse my invitation that doesn't mean I have to imitate you." He growled trying to retrieve the bottle.
"That's enough!" She grunted too as she set the bottle down on a dresser that sat in front of the bed. She took a deep breath, turned and walked back over to him. "Si- Roy...you've had enough to drink." She tried to reason with him, withdrawing the formalities and speaking softly.
Roy exhaled heavily and roughly placed the glass he held in his right hand on the nightstand. Then he ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "Please...I need it." He whispered.
"You don't need it. What's more, if you don't get killed by some murderer who's after your head, you're going to get killed by the excess of alcohol."
"So what's the difference?"
"Roy... I understand that you're feeling a lot of pain and sadness, but you know perfectly well that this won't lead to anything good. I'm sure Hughes wouldn't like to see you like this."
He removed his hands from his face and inhaled deeply, looking down into his lap. "I know." He whispered. "But I need to forget this is really happening."
"You know that alcohol is only temporary and that it can also hurt you and even kill you."
"I know... that's why when I felt I was already losing control... I decided to buy a bottle and keep drinking here to avoid the possibility of doing something stupid. I wouldn't want to do it again." He said in a defeated tone.
Riza didn't understand what he was talking about, but she felt the pain in his words.
He stood up and cut the distance between them and hugged her tightly, hiding his face in her shoulder. The gesture caught her off guard at first, but after a few moments of hesitation, she responded to his embrace.
" I''m sorry, Riza, forgive me." Roy said, his voice muffled by her shoulder.
"I have nothing to forgive you for." She replied in confusion.
"I hadn't told you about the foolish thing I did and the idiotic thing I was about to do. Only Hughes knew...that's why he scolded me and whenever he could he supervised my drinking to keep me from doing it again."
He pulled away from her slightly so he could look at her for a moment, not taking his arms away from her. Then he ducked his head and, feeling overwhelmed by his memories, regained his sobriety for a few moments as he spoke. "The night we argued when you confessed to me the existence of our son...I went back to East City and went straight to a bar to get drunk, to try to forget about what was happening." He paused slightly. "There was a woman who was drunk...she started to seduce me and I agreed to follow her to a hotel."
Roy could feel her tense in his arms at the confession, but she didn't pull away from him, so he continued. "We kissed and...obviously she wanted to go further and I wasn't thinking straight at the time until I finally looked into her eyes. In that instant I realized the mistake I was making... that woman was not you. She wasn't looking at me with love like you were, she was only looking at me with lust. I felt so bad at that moment because I was cheating on you, that I walked away from that woman and left that hotel and went to my apartment. Hughes was there... he scolded me like you have no idea. So, since that day, with his help I've tried not to get drunk to that level again, because I don't want to cheat on you. I don't want to bring a baby into the world for a simple lay." He raised his head and looked into her eyes. "Because our child, it wasn't the product of a simple lay, Riza, it was the product of our love, of that I'm sure. Forgive me, please."
Riza was really confused in those moments. She had a whirlwind of emotions inside her. She felt sadness, pain and concern for Roy, but now added to all of that was the shock of the confession he had made to her. A part of her couldn't help but feel betrayed, even though she knew Roy hadn't had sex with that woman, because she believed his words by the look in his eyes and because she believed that drunks and children always told the truth. He probably, in his five senses, would never have made that confession to her. But now, now was not the time to deal with that confession, besides, at that time they were not in a formal relationship. So she decided to push that thought to the back of her mind, after all, it didn't come to nothing and he, even though it would have taken years and alcohol to do it, had had the courage to confess it to her. The priority now was to reassure and comfort him to prevent him from hurting himself further or doing something foolish.
Shaking her head to push away the unwanted image of Roy with another woman, Riza replied quietly. "Like I told you, there's nothing to forgive. At that time we were no longer dating-"
Roy interrupted her. "Not officially, but I still shouldn't have done it... not to you, not to the mother of my child, not to the love of my life."
Riza could see tears pooling in his eyes until a couple of them slid down his cheeks. All the pain of the past and present had built up and was finally exploding. She too felt the tears begin to form in her eyes, but decided to hold them back for the moment. Tenderly she placed her right hand on his left cheek and wiped away the tears with her thumb before hugging him tightly, rubbing his back gently.
"I forgive you, Roy." She told him softly and sincerely. "I won't deny that it hurt to find out, even though it shouldn't have because our romantic relationship had ended long ago... but I can't help but feel relieved that it didn't escalate and that you had the courage to tell me the truth."
"You have every right to be angry and hurt, because I have always been and will always be only yours. My heart is only yours. I am so sorry." He replied softly as he squeezed her in his embrace, as if he felt that letting go would mean losing her forever.
"I really do forgive you, so I don't want you to keep torturing yourself over it, okay?"
He nodded his head. "Thank you, Riza." He replied before placing his chin on top of her head, closing his eyes to fill himself with her presence, her scent and her warmth.
Riza also closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the contact with him. It had been a while since they had hugged like that, so they stayed like that for several minutes. They both wished they could always have this kind of gesture and in better circumstances, but at least this instant reminded them that they still had each other in the most difficult moments.
Before Riza could think of the most appropriate way on how to approach the subject that mattered most to her, Roy spoke up, interrupting her thoughts. "Riza, you are in time to get away from danger... please stay away from the military, pursue your happiness." He spoke softly, painfully and, unbelievably, with the seriousness of a sober person.
She broke away slightly to look him in the eye to confirm that he meant it. "And what about what you asked me in the afternoon? About whether I'd follow you to go after the higher-ups."
"Forget about that."
"Roy... you're not in your five senses right now, you're not thinking straight. Surely even tomorrow, or rather after a while, you'll forget this conversation."
He shook his head vehemently. "I won't. I haven't been this serious in a long time and to keep me from forgetting I'll record it in my alchemist's journal."
She sighed. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not going back on what I promised you many years ago. I was aware from the beginning of the risks I would be exposed to."
"This is different... I have a bad feeling..." He paused slightly and ran one of his hands through his hair. "Riza... I lost Hughes, my best friend, my brother... I promised him I would protect him and I wasn't able to, so now he's dead. Because of my incompetence I have left a little girl without a father and a woman without a husband." He said with pain and bitterness, as new tears began to form. "I promised your father on his deathbed that I would take care of you, that I would protect you...he must probably be rolling in his grave for the heinous way I have failed...for dragging you down with me to hell and for all the suffering you have gone through because of it. I will never forgive myself for all that but what I could never live with would be your loss..." Tears continued to stream down his cheeks. "I hurt so much for the loss of Hughes but the very thought that it was you..." He felt a lump form in his throat. "I could never survive that, I can't lose you...that's why I'd rather you leave my side even if it hurts. I have been very selfish to bind you to my side, that's why I now wish to be certain that you will be safe."
Riza could not hold back her own tears, it hurt her to see how broken Roy was at that moment. With both hands, she gently cupped Roy's face and looked him straight in the eyes. "You will not lose me because I will not leave your side, remember we have a goal to change this country and I will not give up until I accomplish it. I will be careful. Besides I am certain that you will protect me as I will protect you, because I can't lose you either."
He shook his head gently with his head, which was still in his hands. "It's too dangerous, I failed Hughes, I don't even want to think what would happen if I failed you too-"
"You didn't fail him." She interrupted him. "We all know the risks of this job. He knew it..."
Roy stepped away from her, running both hands through his hair then slamming his right fist against one of the walls of the room. "No! This happened because I failed him, because I let a damn son of a bitch murder him!" He spat and began to clench his hands into fists. "I swear I'm going to find him and I'm going to make him pay for it." Roy said through his teeth trying not to show all his rage that was beginning to fill him and letting out a few angry tears.
Riza was concerned to see Roy's sudden change of mood. In his gaze she could see that characteristic determination of his mixed with the pain of losing his friend but what she had never seen in him before was the thirst for revenge that burned in his eyes. For the first time since she had known him, she feared that he would let himself be guided by a terrible thirst for revenge, that he would stray from his path and that she would have to make good on the promise they had made long ago. It was her duty to protect him from everyone but most of all from himself, so she would do everything in her power to avoid losing him.
Slowly Riza approached him and placed one of her hands on his arm, then raised her gaze to meet his. For a moment, she did not recognize the man in front of her, because in that onyx gaze she always found love, security, trust, friendship, tenderness and, at times like this, pain, sadness and guilt but now there was fury, hatred and revenge in it. She felt her chest tighten at the thought of not being able to bring him back to himself preventing her from returning that look of his that she loved so much.
"Roy, please don't talk like that. You're not a vengeful person, you're a just person..."
"And as a just person I am I'm going to seek justice for Hughes and his family. I'm going to make that fucking bastard pay for what he's done."
"That's not justice, that's revenge."
"Of course it isn't. I'll give that scum just what he deserves." Roy growled.
Roy's gaze was still filled with fury, hatred and vengeance. Riza couldn't help but let out more tears seeing Roy in that state, but she was willing to keep trying to bring back the good man she knew before he was consumed with hate and revenge. So she lightly squeezed the arm she was gripping in an attempt to get his attention.
"Hughes would not like to see his best friend be consumed by revenge in the wake of his death." At the mention of Hughes, he shivered slightly. "I... I'm not going to let it consume you. That's not who you are. Right now I'm not seeing the man I fell in love with and still love...I'm not seeing the father of my child...I'm not even seeing my best friend..." She said between sobs, as she cut the distance between them and again wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, hiding her head in his chest. "Please, Roy, don't walk away from me, come back to me... don't stray from the path." She pleaded.
The instant she hugged him, Roy didn't flinch but when he felt dampness in his chest and heard her pleading, he immediately remembered what she meant by 'straying from the path'. He knew she was referring to the promise they made, where he had asked her to keep him on the path of good. In that instant, the vengeance, hatred and anger that had been invading him vanished, giving way again to raw pain and guilt, feeling the knot in his stomach return.
At the realization of the worry and suffering that was engulfing Riza, he finally responded to the embrace, pulling her as close as he could to his chest, hiding his face in her blonde hair, letting tears of sadness, pain and guilt fall. At first she tensed, but after a moment she relaxed in his arms.
"Forgive me, Riza, please forgive me...I hurt you again. I'm a complete idiot, a useless one for not realizing what I was saying." He said in a hoarse voice.
Riza broke away slightly to meet his gaze, breathing a sigh of relief that indeed the beautiful onyx gaze she was used to had returned.
She raised her right hand and began to stroke his cheek as she whispered. "Please don't walk away from the road... don't walk away from me."
"I won't, I will always come back to you. I promise."
In response Riza offered him a slight smile and hugged him tightly again. She again began to rub his back in comfort as she continued to whisper to him. "Roy, allow yourself to cry as much as you need to, don't hold on to anything because it will hurt you in the long run."
He nodded his head, tightened his embrace a little more and placed his head on her shoulder as he allowed himself to sob. "I miss him... the worst part is that in our last conversation I hung up on him when he started telling me about his family..." He mentioned in a hoarse voice .
"He knew that's what your relationship was like, plus I'm sure he was doing it to have fun with you." Riza replied, smiling slightly at the late Hughes' witticisms. "I have no doubt he knew how much you appreciated him, just as you have no doubt how much he appreciated you." She commented softly, running her fingers through his hair.
He continued to sob lightly and Riza did too because it hurt her to see Roy like that. The two of them were clinging to each other, especially him holding her as if she was the only thing keeping him alive in those moments.
"Hughes was always pestering me about getting a wife...but once he confessed to me that it was his way of telling me to seek my happiness by your side. He helped me understand what you'd had to go through when you were separated from our son... He was my brother." Roy said brokenly, feeling a lump form in his throat.
"He was an excellent person, I have no doubt about that." Riza mentioned.
"He held you in high esteem too. In fact he scolded me a lot when I told him everything I did to you... he was quite insistent that I go after you when you asked me for a break..." He sighed and removed his head from her shoulder to look into her eyes, which were just as watery, red and puffy as his. "I should have listened to him, if I had maybe we would now be married and together." Roy mentioned with regret.
"I made mistakes too, the fault was on both of us. Maybe we can't be married but we are still together and we will stay that way, because I'm not going to leave your side."
He softened his gaze as he gently caressed Riza's cheek at the same time wiping away the tears that ran down her face. "I want you away from danger, I want you to be safe." He whispered.
She too softened her gaze and placed her palms on his strong chest. "I want you out of danger too so you're not going to convince me to stop watching your back."
He shook his head. "Stubborn as ever."
She smiled slightly. "I could say the same about you."
Roy returned a slight sincere smile, the first Riza had seen from him in the last 48 hours. "That's why we make such a good team, isn't it?" he mentioned.
Riza nodded. Roy followed her, looking directly into her piercing brown eyes. As always, he found love, tenderness and refuge in them. If there was any doubt about his feelings for this beautiful woman in front of him, just by looking at her, it was dispelled. He still loved her as he had done when he was a teenager, or rather, he loved her more intensely as time went by. She was his world, his everything, his light, his guide, his truth. He could not see life without her and at that very moment, he reaffirmed the promise he had made to himself long ago. He would protect her with his life so he would do whatever it took not to lose her. He was aware that because of their current work situation and their goals they should not pursue a romantic relationship, but they could still, with small gestures and actions that were normal and common for others, convey a lot of feelings.
Roy began to feel the effect of the alcohol return to take control of his body's actions, or rather, he allowed it, as it was the perfect excuse to cross the barriers that had been imposed. So the hand caressing her cheek squeezed it a little tighter, as he slowly leaned towards her until his lips met hers. He closed his eyes and began to kiss her slowly and tenderly, trying to transmit in that kiss, all the love he felt for her.
Riza, for her part, was surprised at first, but before she knew it her own lips answered the kiss as gently and tenderly as he did. She felt all the love Roy wanted to convey to her in that gesture and she also hoped that with her response she could do the same. She knew it wasn't right for them to go over their own barriers but both of them, especially him, were in a state of mind where they needed it. So she decided to ignore for that occasion her better judgment and let herself be carried away by the sensations that kiss was arousing, wrapping her arms around his neck as he placed his free arm around her waist to pull her closer to him.
It was obviously not the first kiss they shared, however it was very different from the ones they shared when they were younger. It was more mature, slow, tender and charged with love. They were enjoying it as much as they could, because they didn't know when it would happen again, if it would ever happen. They parted slightly as their breath caught. Their gazes met and they looked at each other with exceptional tenderness and love.
"I love you, Riza, always have and always will." Roy whispered as soon as he caught his breath as he tenderly caressed her cheek.
Roy knew it didn't need to be said out loud, because she could feel it in the kiss and in his gaze, but he still wanted to reaffirm it to her.
Riza smiled slightly. "I love you too, Roy, and I always will." And without further ado she cut the small distance that separated their lips, to kiss him again, an action that, without hesitation, Roy responded with the same intensity as she did.
They remained for several minutes embracing and exchanging kisses until Riza reluctantly decided it was time for them to return to reality. As soon as they finished their last kiss and as she recovered her breath, she placed her palms on his chest and looked him straight in the eyes a little sadly, because she really didn't want this to end. She wasn't sure if Roy would remember everything that had happened when he fully regained his sobriety, but she hoped he wouldn't forget this moment.
"I'd better go to my room, you need your sleep and so do I." She whispered.
At this Roy squeezed her in his arms to not let her go. Just like her he didn't want this moment to end, plus he didn't want to be alone. "Stay with me." He replied in a whisper.
"You know it's inappropriate."
"This hotel floor is almost empty, we are on the edge of the city, no one from the military knows we are here and we will be careful when we leave." As he finished his arguments, he deposited another tender kiss on her lips, which Riza couldn't help but respond to. "Please don't go." Roy pleaded as he finished kissing her, brushing his lips against hers as he spoke.
Riza knew it was not a good idea to do so, not because she really believed that they would be discovered in this place, as Roy had mentioned, it was very unlikely, but she knew that sleeping next to him would make things more difficult when they had to return to their reality. However, she didn't want to leave Roy alone in this state either, even though he was already feeling a little better, she still feared that he would do something foolish that would put him in danger. Besides, she couldn't help but feel the need to be by his side, especially after the kisses they had shared that night. She was sure Roy was a gentleman so he wouldn't try to go any further, plus she wouldn't let him since it wasn't the right thing to do in his state. But what really ended up influencing her decision to stay with him was his plea and the puppy look he was giving her. It had been ages since she had seen it. When they were teenagers he always used it to convince her and most of the time it worked, just as hers worked on him.
She tenderly caressed his cheek before kissing him again. "Okay, I'll stay but we have to be very careful when I have to go back to my room." She finally replied, making Roy smile as he nodded. "Now, get changed and let's try to sleep."
He hugged her again and kissed her before heading to the suitcase that sat on the dresser in front of the bed. She smiled slightly, took off her robe and arranged it neatly on the chair near the bed before slipping between the sheets.
For his part Roy, who had his back to Riza, began to remove his shirt and pants, tossing them into the suitcase, leaving him in just his boxers. She could not help but look carefully at his back, obviously it was not the first time she saw him half naked, but that had been a long time ago, easily 15 years ago and at that time they were still very young and he did not have the same amount of muscle mass as now. That was why, when he turned around, she blushed at the sight of his muscular chest, his marked abdomen and his strong arms. His body had definitely changed since the last time she had been able to look at him like that.
Despite not being 100% in his five senses, Roy noticed Riza's blush and gaze at him, which made him crack a small smile. "Do you like the view?" he asked suddenly, making Riza realize that she was looking at him longer than necessary, so she preferred to lie down facing her side of the bed, feeling her cheeks blush even more.
"Aren't you going to put on your pajamas?"
Roy found himself slightly amused by Riza's attitude, though after pondering for a few seconds he understood her behavior. "I usually only sleep in my underwear."
"You didn't bring one? What if someone was looking for you in your room and you received them like this?"
Roy laughed lightly, surprising Riza, who at first wasn't so comfortable with being his target of teasing but given the situation was glad she could cheer him up a bit. He moved to her side of the bed until he was just to the side of her, crouching down. He gently cupped her flushed face with both hands, leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips. Then he pulled away from her slightly.
"Come on, Riza. It's not the first time you've seen me like this, you've even seen me with less or rather no clothes on." He said in a slightly amused tone.
Roy Mustang was a bit of a conceited man who liked to attract the attention and looks of the opposite sex to his physical appearance, as it helped him cover up his true intentions within the military. But the attention and looks he had always really cared about attracting was hers. It had been too long since they had had this kind of closeness, so he couldn't help but feel happy that the woman he had always loved was still attracted to him in the same way he was attracted to her.
"That was a long time ago... we've changed." Riza said quietly.
"Yeah, that was about a century ago but, from the way you looked at me, I think you liked the view." He continued to tease her slightly in an amused tone.
Riza continued to blush and lightly smacked him on the chest, trying not to leave her hands there too long. "We'd better get some rest, if you have pajamas I'd appreciate it if you could use them." She uttered, avoiding his gaze.
He stroked her exposed cheek. "You haven't answered my question." He insisted.
She sighed, she knew he was just as stubborn as she was and if something got into his head there would be no human power to make him give up. So she gave up and decided to answer him. "Yes, I liked it. Now, please, can we try to rest?"
Roy's smile widened as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad, because I too love the view I have and it would probably look even better without clothes on."
"Roy..." She caught his eye slightly.
" Okay, I'll put on my pajamas." He replied as he stood up. He pulled the clothes out of his suitcase and put them on.
Riza smiled slightly. Despite the time that man was still behaving like a child at times, something she was glad about, although she would never admit it out loud in front of him.
Once Roy was dressed in his pajamas, he entered the bed beside her, they turned off the lights and he wrapped his strong arms around her waist. She tensed which worried Roy, who immediately began to retract his arms.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
But before he finished retracting her arms, she grabbed them avoiding the action, which confused Roy.
"Don't take them off, sorry it's just weird." Riza whispered back. She turned her body in his arms to face him face to face. She began to run a hand through his black hair before continuing. "It's been too long since we last slept together, so I'm not used to it."
"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable...I asked you to stay but I'm not going to bother if you'd rather go to your room."
She shook her head. "I'm fine. I want to be by your side." She hugged him tightly. "Now try to rest."
"Thank you, Riza." He pulled her closer to his chest, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "If you ever get uncomfortable, let me know."
She nodded, as she snuggled against him. "Good night, Roy."
"Get some rest, Riza."
It was 9:30 am when Riza woke up. The first thing that surprised her was to feel the warmth of arms wrapped around her and to see that she had in front of her the chest of a strong man, and not just any man, but the same man she has been in love with for a long time. It was in that instant that she remembered everything that had happened in the early morning and how she had agreed to stay with him. She watched Roy closely as he slept peacefully. He had a tired but at the same time relaxed countenance. Riza was glad that during the night he had no nightmares and was able to sleep uninterrupted.
She wished that this moment they were sharing would not end, but she knew that that very afternoon they had to return to East City, besides they had to leave their rooms no later than noon but, above all, they had to return to their reality. She decided that she would go ahead to give him a few more minutes of rest, so she turned to her side of the bed and tried to gently release her grip on Roy, but as soon as he sensed movement, he tightened his grip and pulled her closer to him, bumping her back against his chest. She looked over her shoulder and realized that he was still asleep, so the movement had been made unconsciously, which made her smile slightly. She made another attempt without much success, so she tried to raise her level of movement a little, but Roy wouldn't let go, he was clinging to her like a small child clings to his favorite stuffed animal. She turned her body again to face him and began to stroke his cheek that felt slightly scratchy from the stubble that was beginning to appear on his face.
"Roy." She whispered and waited for him to react. Noticing no reaction, she tried again. "Roy."
He shifted slightly without releasing her. "Mmh."
Riza gently moved the bangs of his forehead. "Roy, I need you to let go." She continued to whisper.
"Mmh hum."
"You can sleep for a few more minutes, I'll go ahead."
He half opened his eyes and couldn't believe his eyes, so he ended up opening them all the way, watching the beautiful blonde in his arms, stroking his bangs and cheek.
"Am I dreaming?" he asked in a low, husky voice, looking into her eyes.
She smiled up at him, "Have you forgotten what happened already?"
Roy began to go over the events of the previous night, as soon as he remembered he'd had too much to drink, he turned pale, wishing he hadn't done something foolish.
Riza read his thought immediately and answered him. "Nothing sexual happened between us if that's what you're worried about, besides I would never have let you in that state." She told him calmly.
He sighed in relief and it was then that he remembered most of the events that transpired in the early morning. So he hugged her tightly and pulled her as close as he could to his chest. He had no desire to pull away from her.
"Roy, I have to go." Riza reminded him.
"A few more minutes, please." He replied as he buried his face in her blonde hair.
She felt the way he clung to her and it pained her to have to part, so she agreed to stay as long as possible, because once out of his room, everything would return to normal. They both knew that and it was the last thing they wanted at that moment.
"Okay, just a few more minutes."
He nodded and continued to enjoy her presence in his arms, just as she enjoyed his. Half an hour later, the two reluctantly began to stand up from the bed, but not before hugging and kissing deeply. When Riza was on her feet, she slipped on her robe and started toward the door to the front of the room.
"I'll meet you in the lobby in an hour." She said quietly, but before she could reach the entrance to the room, Roy grabbed one of her arms to stop her. He turned her around to face him and hugged her once more, gently caressed her face before kissing her tenderly and slowly on the lips.
Once the kiss was over, he pulled away from her slightly and looked directly into her eyes. "Thank you, Riza. Without your presence and without your affection the night would have been hell for me."
She smiled slightly as she tenderly caressed his cheek. "I'm glad I was able to help you." She deposited a tender kiss on his lips. Then she glanced sideways at the bottle of whiskey that was almost half full on the dresser. She turned away from him and picked up the bottle to take it with her, before finally heading for the door and giving him another kiss on the cheek.
"I think I'll take this." She said showing him the bottle.
He sighed. "I think it's for the best." He replied in a defeated tone.
She nodded and left the room, leaving Roy pensive. He had really enjoyed her closeness and as soon as she left, he felt an emptiness inside. He decided to focus on remembering the kisses, hugs and caresses they both shared to comfort themselves, because he was sure he wouldn't be able to have them again for a long time. It took almost 16 years to have them again and he was worried that he would have to wait that long again. He sighed and began to get ready to leave the hotel.
The next two weeks after Maes' burial, the Mustang unit was busy arranging all the necessary paperwork for their upcoming transfer to Central and, as of the third week, everyone on the team began working at Central command.
Being in the nation's capital, the paperwork and obligations increased, especially now that they were just settling in, so their first two weeks there were exhausting. However, Roy, during his lunch hours, would sneak into the records room to inquire about Hughes' death. He would even stay late to keep digging, even taking up his weekends to do so, of course when he didn't have an appointment with one of his informants who were also working hard to find something that might give them a clue as to what happened.
All this effort was reflected in his physical appearance, as he looked tired and even seemed to be losing weight, details that did not go unnoticed by the members of his unit, especially by Riza, who was very worried. Since a few days ago she had noticed him before anyone else, and tried to discreetly ask him to take care of himself, which Roy had obviously ignored.
One day when the colonel disappeared from the office to go to a meeting, the members of the unit began to ask each other questions about this delicate subject, as they worked through their respective paperwork.
"Hey, is it me or is the chief thinner?" Havoc suddenly asked everyone else.
"I notice him thinner too. Even, in my opinion, I don't think he's had enough sleep in the last few weeks either." Fuery added.
"He'd sleep more if he'd stop dating his girlfriends." Breda said.
"Well, maybe he's using them to cope with his loss. The Brigadier General and the Colonel were very close." Falman said.
"Poor Colonel, he must miss his friend very much. The Brigadier General was an exceptional person." Fuery commented. At his last comment they all nodded in affirmation.
"Well as you commented, maybe he's not getting enough sleep because he's going out with his dates and probably using them as a means of distraction." Havoc mused. "What do you think, Hawkeye?"
"I think we should finish the paperwork." She replied in a neutral tone.
"Come on, Lieutenant, aren't you as worried about the Colonel as we are?"
How could I not be worried? If you only knew, Havoc. She thought. "Of course I'm worried, but you know he's not very open about his personal stuff. I just hope we can at least convince him not to forget his meal times and that we can find the General's killer soon, I think that would give him some peace."
All the men nodded at Riza's words.
"You're right, Lieutenant. Although this particular case is having a lot of strange things going on. The crime scene was cleaned up too quickly, the General's burial was immediately without giving a chance for an autopsy and coincidentally the information is reserved for a couple of officers. In this type of case when an officer is killed, all available force is put into finding the killer." Breda analyzed.
"They've gone outside the usual protocols." Falman added.
"Maybe that's why the Colonel always investigates the records office on his own whenever he can." Fuery exclaimed.
Havoc sighed, as he placed a toothpick in his mouth to play with. "I hate to admit it but, as Hawkeye says, the best way to support him now is to get ahead on the paperwork so he can make the most of the time looking through the records."
They all nodded and went back to their chores.
"Let's hurry up guys, maybe we can finish early and take the Colonel out for a few drinks, maybe that will help him." Havoc suddenly suggested.
Obviously the idea didn't please Riza, not after how she had seen Roy the night of Maes' burial. She was sure that during his work hours, he stayed sober and wanted to think he had limited his consumption during the evenings, because she hadn't seen him with signs of a hangover. Still, she wasn't comfortable with the idea of coaxing him out at this time.
"Havoc, it's not the best time. Like Falman said, maybe we should wait a little while for him to get over his grief." Breda suggested, a suggestion that Riza inwardly appreciated.
"Oh, true. You' re right." Havoc replied.
Without another word, everyone diligently continued with their paperwork.
That same night, Riza decided to pay a visit to the colonel, so she made some soup, placed it in a container and along with her faithful friend Black Hayate, they headed to Roy's apartment, which was not that far from their block. After a 10 minute walk, they arrived at his door which Riza knocked on. After a few moments the door opened, revealing Roy dressed in a dark dress pants with a wine colored rolled up shirt, with the first few buttons unbuttoned.
"Lieutenant, what a surprise to see you here." Roy greeted clearly surprised, it was usually a very rare time when either of them went to the other's apartment when there wasn't some sort of work pending.
"Good evening, Colonel. I hope I''m not interrupting something." Riza said in reference to how he was dressed.
He shook his head. "Don't worry, Lieutenant. I'm actually just coming in from attending to some business. Please come in." He said as he moved to the side of the door to let them pass.
As soon as she and Black Hayate entered, he locked the door. As he bent down to pet the canine he resumed his small talk. "And to what do I owe the honor of such a pleasant visit?"
"I wanted to check on you and remind you to take care of yourself. The boys and I are concerned about your weight loss, Sir." Riza decided to get straight to the point, staring him down.
Roy couldn't help but see her concern reflected in her eyes. He sighed. "I'm sorry, I got a little careless." He admitted.
"Have you had dinner yet?"
He shook his head. "I've been kind of busy, so I forgot. Plus I haven't had much of an appetite lately."
"You know you won't get far in your goals if you're not healthy."
"I know, I need to work on that. Major Armstrong has also noticed me looking a little thinner."
"Please, sir, be more careful with yourself."
"I'll try."
"Well, since I assumed you hadn't eaten, I decided to bring you some soup." She said as she held out the container the food was in.
Roy took the container and cracked a small smile. "Thank you Lieutenant, will you join me?"
She debated for a moment whether or not to accept but finally nodded and proceeded to remove Black Hayate's leash and then followed Roy into the kitchen to serve the food he had brought on two plates. They sat down at the small table Roy had and began to eat in silence.
When they finished eating Roy said. "That was very good, Lieutenant."
"Thank you, Colonel. I'm glad you liked it." Riza replied giving a slight smile which was reciprocated by him.
"It's been a long time since I've had a home-cooked meal."
She raised an eyebrow. "Does that mean you haven't cooked recently?"
He shook his head. "I've been busy and have opted to eat at some restaurant or order fast food. Although I have to say that fast food I've ordered less often now because I have to lock myself in the gym for several hours afterwards to burn off all those calories." He said lightly joking at the end. "But if I'm honest, I'm not as good a cook as you."
"From what you tell me, it didn't do you any good the time you sliced your fingers while chopping vegetables, did it?" She told him in a slightly amused tone, remembering when they cooked together at her father's house.
He laughed at the memory, slightly surprised that she still remembered it. "Well apparently not, I think I'll need another cooking course. Put me down for the next one, Lieutenant."
She laughed lightly. She was glad she could cheer Roy up a little. "Of course, sir. I just recommend that you don't forget to focus solely on one thing, we don't want any more accidents."
"You'll never let me forget that, will you?" He asked feigning anger, but he was clearly having fun remembering all that.
"Never, sir. Remember that it is within my duties to remind you when you behave like an idiot so that you don't trip over the same stone again." Riza replied slightly amused.
Roy folded his arms. "Very funny, Lieutenant."
The two of them got up, washed the dishes and set up the kitchen, standing next to each other, working side by side, like they used to do before. When they finished, she turned her head in the direction he was facing to tell him she was about to leave, but was surprised to see how close her face was to his. Roy's gaze was fixed on her lips. Before Riza could pull away and before he could think better of it, he wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned in to kiss her. She hesitated to respond to the gesture, but before her head could make a decision, her lips took it for her, returning the kiss with the same intensity as he did.
At that moment, they both let themselves be carried away, ignoring what their minds were telling them and opting to follow their hearts. That first kiss triggered a series of kisses of all kinds: tender, gentle, passionate and even rough, and it also triggered a series of caresses between them. She caressing his shoulders, arms, chest and abdomen, and he caressing her waist, hips, shoulders and bosom. All this went on until he carried her in his arms without stopping kissing her and took her to his room, depositing her carefully on the bed.
She unbuttoned his shirt, he took it off and did the same with her blouse. Riza delighted in caressing the strong abdomen in front of her, while he traced kisses on her neck, enjoying from time to time the sight of her beautiful body. They were both sharing tender caresses, discovering each other again, as it had been a long time since they had been together and thus their bodies had changed, but in a good way to their own delight. Just as they parted slightly for air, Riza finally listened to her mind. Before he attacked her lips again, she placed her hands gently on his chest to stop him.
"Roy...we mustn't do this. I don't take any birth control and the last time we did it without using one, I ended up abandoning my son...I couldn't bear to have to do it again." Riza mentioned in a sad tone.
Roy understood immediately, feeling sadness as he remembered his son. "You're right, I would never put you in that situation again and besides I don't have any condoms-" He cut off his words as he remembered something. He leaned over to the nightstand, opened the drawer and with one hand began to search through his things for something.
"What are you looking for?" she asked intrigued by the suddenness of his actions.
"This." Roy replied smiling again at her find, showing her a small package.
She raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you weren't having an active sex life." Riza said trying to avoid a reproachful tone, without much success.
"I didn't lie. I have this because of Fullmetal. I never thought that brat would get me out of a jam."
"Edward gave it to you?" She asked incredulously.
"No. Do you remember a while back when you forced me to-?" When Roy saw Riza start to frown he decided to change his words. "Mmm rather, when you recommended that I have that talk with Fullmetal, I thought about buying a couple of these in case it was necessary to show him some birth control, but as you may recall he wouldn't let me finish and I ended up keeping them. Which I'm very glad about right now."
Without further ado he leaned back in to kiss her and she returned the gesture after a few seconds of hesitation at what they were doing. They were both just starting to let their feelings get the better of them when the phone sitting on Roy's nightstand rang, causing the two of them to pull apart.
"You have to answer it." Riza said breathlessly.
"Let it ring, I have something more important to do now." He replied catching his breath.
"Roy, what if it's something important?"
"Damn it!" cursed Roy, as he turned away from her to pick up the phone receiver. "Mustang." He replied, unable to entirely disguise his annoyed tone.
"Chief, we need you to come to the headquarters right now." Havoc said on the other end of the line.
"Why the hell would I go to the office at..." He paused to look at the time on his watch. "9 p.m.?" he grunted.
Havoc laughed lightly. "Don't tell me I interrupted one of your lays."
"Don't talk nonsense, Havoc. I just didn't have plans to go out anymore." Roy spat.
"Least of all if you have a beautiful woman in your bed, don't you? Now I'll tell you what you once told me: leave her!" Havoc continued to joke.
Roy ran a hand through his hair. "I told you, Havoc, I'm on my own. Now tell me what's so urgent that you're bothering me at this hour?"
"Oh come on, Chief, we're in confidence. But well I'll leave that subject alone for now. We need you because we have apprehended the ruffian you entrusted us with a couple of days ago, so you need to come and sign all the paperwork before some freeloading military man claims the capture of this criminal."
Roy sighed. "Good job, I'll head out there." He replied resignedly, his tone neutral.
"All right. Just don't be long, and please leave your girl on shift alone. You'll have time later." And before he could get a scolding from Roy, Havoc cut the communication.
"That Havoc." Roy muttered grumpily as he placed the handset back on its base.
"I think fate itself is of the opinion that we shouldn't do it." Riza said with a slightly amused tone as she saw Roy's expression, though she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
He sighed. "Or maybe we can and then I'll go see about that business with Havoc."
She shook her head as she sat down on the bed and put her blouse back on. "It's not appropriate. We're exposing ourselves too much by letting our feelings get the better of us. Besides, from what I could hear, it's important that you settle that matter as soon as possible."
She stood up and finished arranging her blouse and her hair, getting ready to leave. Before leaving the room, she walked over to him and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
"It's better this way, Roy. We're taking too many unnecessary risks. Besides we can't forget that we don't deserve this." Riza said sadly. He kissed her once more as he hugged her tightly. When they broke apart, she continued. "I'll leave first so as not to arouse suspicion. Remember I left the leftover soup in your fridge and please take care of yourself." She said at last depositing another kiss on his cheek.
"Thank you, Riza." He smiled. "I'll take you to your apartment."
She shook her head. "You have to go to the headquarters and besides it wouldn't be good for us to be seen leaving your apartment together."
Roy exhaled heavily in defeat. "You're right. Please take care of yourself."
She nodded and left the room, attached the leash to Black Hayate and they left Roy's apartment. He, for his part, put on his uniform and left a few minutes later for the headquarters.
A few days later, Riza encountered Barry "The Chopper", who had introduced himself as a soul-bonded armor that when he still had his human body, had been a murderer sentenced to death and executed a few months earlier.
As soon as Riza managed to get Barry's attention to prevent him from fleeing the scene, she immediately called Roy so that together they could find out about the criminal's curious situation.
Despite Roy's initial jealousy towards the armor who never missed an opportunity to hug his esteemed lieutenant, Roy was able to maintain enough composure to call Falman so that the four of them could meet at an abandoned warehouse on the edge of Central, which they used to use for undercover missions. After an extensive interrogation of Barry by Falman, they confirmed that he was indeed who he claimed to be and with the information they obtained about the experiments the military was conducting, Roy was able to confirm the information he had been investigating regarding the creation of the philosopher's stones and that it seemed to be involved with Hughes' death.
Before ending the interrogation, Roy surprised Riza and Falman when he asked Barry if he was responsible for Hughes' murder. Quickly everyone present realized that Barry was innocent, but the way Roy asked the question and the way his gaze was filled with anger and vengeance, did not go unnoticed by Riza. She had and still believed that this behavior was because of the recent death of the Brigadier General, but there was something inside her that warned her that this could turn out to be something very serious.
Once the interrogation was over and the matter was settled so that Falman would take over Barry until further notice, Roy and Riza left the warehouse. Night had fallen already a couple of hours ago, so he insisted on taking her to his apartment in his car.
Once they arrived at the main entrance of the building, Roy parked the car and Riza, before getting out of the car, decided to talk to him a little. "Sir, are you all right?" she asked in a neutral tone.
Roy was surprised by the question. "Yes, Lieutenant, why?"
Riza looked him straight in the eyes. In those moments she could see the same old Roy, kind, respectful and committed to his goals. She could not see the anger and vengeance that had possessed him moments ago. Despite this, she decided that it wouldn't hurt to address a few words to him on the matter. "Sir, don't get carried away by your negative emotions, that will not lead you to anything good. I'm sure the Brigadier General would tell you the same thing."
Roy understood what she was referring to, but didn't think much of it. "Don't worry, Lieutenant, I won't. I appreciate your suggestion."
"I hope so, sir. Don't forget it." She started to get out of the car. "Thank you for the ride. Good night."
"Good night, Lieutenant." He replied before she closed the car door and entered the building.