AN: Barricade just thinks that he should get all the same Miles privileges that Ravage gets, even if that means using his holo to share the bed.
Also, just putting it out there-this story does include a gay Miles, but it will not have any mech/human. Or at least no Miles/mech. While I have no issue with Cyb/human (as my other works should show), I knew from the start that I wanted this one to be more of a found family type of thing.
I keep thinking about Miles getting a one night stand or going out on a date and Ravage and Barricade tailing him in a very stupid way to keep an eye on him and decide if they like the guy. So... that may or may not happen.
Miles finished brushing his teeth and left his bathroom to see Ravage and Barricade's adult holoform having a stare down. Given how well the two had just been getting along, this came as a surprise. Ravage was lying in such a way that she took up as much of the bed as possible, and Barricade stood at the end of it with his arms crossed against his chest.
"What is happening here?" Miles frowned.
"She won't move," Barricade complained. "Where am I supposed to sleep?"
"Where are…" Miles trailed off as the question sunk in. Then he reevaluated his life choices again, but as he'd been doing that so often lately it only took him about twenty seconds. "There are so many questions, but I guess the biggest one is—can you even actually sleep while using that thing?"
That got him the 'stupid human' look from Ravage, and he realized his phone was in his pajama pants pocket. He got it out and tossed it to her and she caught it in her mouth. He'd have to remember to pick up a cheap one that she could use whenever she wanted.
"I'll be able to recharge just fine like this," Barricade told him.
"You are not joining us," Ravage said. The female voice on the phone was always dull and robotic, but her glare made it obvious that she was annoyed.
"I mean…" Miles tried to find a good excuse, "The bed is already pretty full, Barricade. It's just a queen sized mattress, and Ravage has a tendency to take up a lot of space."
"There's room! And you let her sleep on the bed without complaint," Barricade protested. "Why not me? We could even switch nights!"
"Excuse me?" The look Ravage gave Barricade made it clear he had about three seconds to live if he didn't watch himself.
"You said we could share," Barricade muttered petulantly.
Miles could have pointed out that he hadn't welcomed Ravage into his bed, but he doubted she wanted him to bring that up. Ravage had forced her way into his room and joined him until he had given in and accepted his fate, and now he genuinely enjoyed it and saw no reason to complain. He hadn't realized how much he had missed getting that kind of physical contact until he had it again.
"You can't do it looking like that," Miles gave in, ignoring the disgusted noise that Ravage somehow produced.
Because while Barricade's holo whatever the fuck it was looked intimidating, tall and muscled and eyebrows set in a mean slant, it was also very attractive. If Miles was going to get a boner in bed with them then it was going to be because he got it when he was asleep, not when he was awake and looking at eye candy.
"Why?" Barricade narrowed his eyes at him.
"Well, the kid form will take up far less room. And…" Miles hesitated for just a moment before forcing himself to continue, "I'm gay." He didn't think either of them would judge him for that, but experience was a cruel teacher. "The form you're using right now is attractive, and I'd rather try to avoid any accidental arousal, thanks. Bed is a no play zone if I'm sleeping with aliens."
"You could have sex with me," Barricade offered.
"Absolutely not!" Miles refused immediately.
"Absolutely not," Ravage said at the same time.
"It's healthy for you," Barricade rolled his eyes. "And it's not like you'd have to worry about pleasing me, or about STDs."
Miles pinched the bridge of his nose, "Look-"
"Is it healthy?" Ravage was suddenly interested, "I didn't look much into human procreation. How is it healthy for him?"
"It can be good stress relief or whatever," Miles quickly interjected. "But I am fully capable of handling that on my own! It's why bathroom time is private."
"But-"
Miles pointed a finger at her, "If the next words out of your mouth are a question about how I do anything, I will sleep on the couch! You can use my phone or my laptop to look up porn like every other curious person."
"It's not very interesting, anyway." Barricade assured her, "Just a lot of friction."
"Humans and their need for touch," Ravage commented dismissively.
Miles snorted, "Do you really want to go there?"
"You can take the left side," Ravage told Barricade, completely ignoring Miles' pointed question.
A few hours later, Miles got up so he could feed the puppies. After making sure they were full and nice and clean, he returned to his room to find Barricade and Ravage cuddling. Barricade had gravitated over to fill Miles' empty spot, and so now Ravage was resting her head on Barricade's neck. Miles had a brief panic over Barricade suffocating before he reminded himself that Barricade wasn't actually a little kid. Or breathing.
Because he liked living, he decided to not wake the two and to never bring it up to Ravage. He did take a picture, though.