A/N: This has been stuck here in purgatory for a year, enjoy and R&R

And Character Death Warning

~.~.~.~.~

I felt extremely cold. A chilliness from the surface that seeped deep into my core. This happened often, but this time it had become terrifyingly cold for too long.

I remember looking at a couple, whom both had black hair. The male- Damian, had green eyes and tan skin. The female- Raven, had violet eyes and pale skin. I often see them gaze at each other in such a loving way, I admit, I was rather envious of it.

I wanted that gaze, not necessarily from one of them, but that warm gaze, I wished was directed at me.

Would that remove the chilliness I was feeling? Likely not.

It was cold and it looked invitingly warm. They looked invitingly warm.

I, however, hadn't seen Damian in so long.

I wondered why.

Consequently, I didn't see Raven either.

I suppose you two would come to see me again one day, after all, I knew you two were busy, and you rarely came to see me together consecutively for– at the very least– three days.

So, I suppose, I shouldn't be so bothered by the absence. As the absence was quite the norm. But I couldn't help but feel an extreme dread that shook me deeply.

I didn't like it, maybe because it was coupled with the coldness that I wanted gone.

~.~.~.~.~

I saw Raven again, she was in tears. I didn't understand why she couldn't stop crying. She would stare at her bed and break down. She couldn't even approach her bed, she would only lean against her bedroom door and weep and then leave suddenly. Sobs were left behind her trail as she fled.

I could hear her cry from the other room too.

It was like that for days which then became weeks.

I haven't seen Damian in that time. It was odd. He seemed like the type of man who would beat whoever made his lover cry– the way she was now, but why wasn't he doing just that?

In fact, where has he been, it's been months since I last saw him.

~.~.~.~.~

You'd think I'd see Raven more often as we lived in the same building. But I rarely saw her. It started when she would come back to the apartment in tears. Her habit of crying against her bedroom door or in her living room was something I took note of though.

And Damian's absence.

An absence that could not be ignored.

Still, with all this happening, the coldness didn't leave me. In fact, it felt like it had become me.

Please come and visit me.

As if Raven heard me, she entered their bedroom with resolve in her eyes.

Will she not cry this time around?

The tears pooled in her eyes but she bravely took a step forward toward their bed. She walked to her side, her entire body shaking. With quivering fingertips, she touched the cool sheets.

I wondered if you now understand my chilliness.

Suddenly, Raven dropped to her side of the bed, bursting into tears.

"Damian…" She whispered, it sounded like she was calling out for him.

But I do not see the black-haired, green eyes man.

Where the hell is Damian?

It seemed that she had been crying quietly because she missed him. Why the hell hasn't he come and visited her then?

It was clear that she wanted to see him. And from what I knew of him, he was not someone who would make Raven miss him to this extent.

But the reason why I want him here is because when he comes to visit her, then they will be together again with me.

"Damian…" Raven continued to weep and I was left confused.

Raven lay on her side of the bed gazing at the space where Damian would lay. Her fingertips brushed the sheets of his corner. Tears fell onto her pillow.

"Damian, why did you leave me?" The chilliness I felt was replaced by sheer dread.

I should be thankful.

I wasn't feeling cold anymore.

But I was extremely sad.

"Damian… why…" She wept, retracting her hand from Damian's side of the bed. "Why did you leave me?"

Leave? How did he leave?

I wanted to ask Raven so many things. The coldness from within me had turned to something else that felt like a knot that could not be described.

Raven screamed suddenly and I was startled by the sudden screech and she suddenly curled on her side of the bed.

She fell asleep in tears and continued to mumble in her sleep. I wish I knew what was happening. There was a fear that permanently replaced the coldness inside of me.

Damian left?

Raven acted the same way as the days passed, inching ever so closely towards Damian's side of the bed. The way she hesitated to go any closer made me confused.

I suddenly remembered how Damian would often tell her, "You are awfully too cold."

And thus, oftentimes she would be sleeping in his arms.

Sure, the couple had their designated sides on the bed but when they were together and in each other's arms, such lines did not exist. They were always in each other's arms. So to me, I didn't understand Raven's hesitance, after all, sleeping on her boyfriend's side wasn't something new to her. Because sometimes he'd hold her solely on his side and she would hold him back. Her head would lay on his arm.

I recall how the two would gaze at each other quietly, eyes locked at one another for hours. And the kind of warmth emitting from them.

But now, Raven would just cry with longing eyes whenever she gazed at the other side of the bed. And it started to make my core ache.

~.~.~.~.~.~

I realized something, I never noticed till now, but Raven seemed to often stand in front of their closet and stare long and hard at the clothes there, like what she was doing now.

She had been standing there for over an hour. And then suddenly her fingers touched Damian's clothes. She took one of his jackets off the hanger with shaking fingers.

Raven dropped to her knees in tears as she hugged the piece of leather.

"Damian." Was the only thing she whispered now and then as she wept in silence.

I still didn't know what happened to him, and I truly wished I did. There was one thing to take away from this moment though, Raven wasn't screaming in tears anymore.

That had to be a good thing, right?

I came to want to comfort her so badly as these kinds of days continued. It seemed endless- her tears, her longing for a man who hasn't appeared.

I wanted to hold her, the way Damian did whenever she was upset.

And then suddenly, I felt a weight against me. I don't know how many days passed with Raven acting the way she had been, but it seemed that something had changed now.

Raven's head rested gently against me. She was in tears yet again, nothing new.

Her pale fingertips were making circles against me. I can finally ask what happened to Damian, I can finally try and comfort her.

"Damian, I miss you so much." Her voice cracked and I felt perplexed.

Would I finally know what happened to Damian Wayne?

"Why did you leave me?" She asked for the nth time as she buried her face against me and she inhaled deeply. "It smells just like you." Her voice broke as she cried.

"The pillow you used to lay your head on." She wrapped her arms around me. "The spot where you used to lay." She curled herself on Damian's side of the bed, her face buried deep into me.

Yes, me, Damian's pillow.

"Why did you die and leave me like this?" I wanted to point out that her words seemed selfish, but I recalled how Raven had been acting since Damian did this die thing.

I wondered how permanent this 'die' was.

Could you not follow him there?

Surely, from what I know of him, he would follow you anywhere. He would follow you if you die.

So, why is this 'die' such a hard thing to accept and go to? Is it not like that door you and him would go through to get from the bedroom to the living room?

Is it…not that simple?

You fell asleep holding me– gripping me really– clawing deep into my core. At least now I am feeling some kind of warmth.