Nico showed me around but I could see it in his eyes even when he didn't look at me. Even when he wanted to look at me but did not because something was there. I had him stop and he looked at me for a second that it took me a minute to register it. I'd seen that look in Aleksander when I lashed out at him..when I'd wounded him verbally and now my best friend had that look in his eyes.

"No.." I said as I let him go and backed up "Not you too." I remember when Nico and I pretended to play house and things were normal. I was normal for a little while but now I was conflicted. I went to walk away but Nicolas ran to catch up and looked at me. "I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't but I've always hoped for the day you'd come back home not be Moya Tsarevna..and marrying the black General." Nicolas said

"You have no right to question my choices, I have to do this. If I don't marry my Grisha soulmate I get forced to marry a nobleman. One I do not love or care about, at least with the General I'm free. I can do whatever I want, my choices will reflect on him not the King." I said as he looked a me and he took my hands not seeing a ring on my hand. "No ring, you're not engaged yet." Nicolas said as I knew that was not an issue.

I didn't have anything to say but I walked away when it was dinner time heading back to the camp. Again all the Grisha looked at me wondering who I was when I approached Aleksander's tent. People let me in without hesitation as I walked in and saw the makeshift beds as I sighed. Aleksander was finishing a meeting when he noticed me so when he was done he walked over and got behind me as he held me close. "What is wrong?" He asked as I just shook my head.

I walked over to one of the beds as I sat there wanting to just be myself but I couldn't..people didn't know me. The only one..no two who knew me was the General and Nico. Aleksander walked over and sat by me as he put an arm around me before his freehand took mine.

"Did the tracker say anything?" Aleksander asked as his thumb rubbed the back of my hand. "He has his opinions...but you and I know that if I don't do this then I'll never truly be free." I said as I leaned into him. "He also mentioned I'm not wearing a ring."

Aleksander must of realized that it was probably time. We were technically engaged by him talking to the royal family about marriage next year. I saw Aleksander get in his Kefta before he took out a box. My mood wasn't the best but I noticed the box. When he opened it I gasped seeing the ring.

The ring was beautiful and I was speechless yet when I reached for it he smirked at me. He closed the box before I could take it as he took my hand and led me out there. 2nd army and first army were everywhere and I knew he was up to something. I only realized it once everyone of both armies were looking at us and he kneeled down.

No..you're doing this here. I thought as I noticed even Nico was watching.

"Amira, Moya Tsarevna as your Grisha soulmate and the one who has been courting you. I ask you" He brought the box out with the ring intended for me like it was the first time he'd done it even though I'd seen it in the tent. "Will you marry me?"

I looked at him knowing that he chose to do this here and not at another party, I wondered why unless it had to do with Nico. I hesitated maybe too long for most peoples comfort not that it mattered since the King had already approved marriage next year. I loathed him and at the same time..I loved him in some way. "Yes." I finally said able to bring a smile to my face as if I've been waiting for the day he proposed. He took the ring out and slid it on my finger as he kissed the top of my hand and I blushed.

Now that he'd proposed and called me Moya Tsarevna people were bowing showing respect to me but I didn't want it. Aleksander just led me back in his tent as he moved to give me space. I waited till he got far away but acted like I would kick him even though my foot only kicked the air behind him. I knew I wouldn't but I wanted to be Amira not Moya Tsarevna. I couldn't hold my tongue though as the words that came out.

"I'm a tool for your own use." I accused of him as he stopped and turned to me.

I gulped a little thinking I'd just done the wrong thing as he walked back to me and I backed up before my legs hit the makeshift bed. I was trapped between him walking towards me and the makeshift bed that when I even tried to move away from it I just fell on the bed. Yet I thought it would collapse but it didn't as I looked seeing the shadows holding me from hurting myself with the makeshift bed. His shadows were gentle with me, even when I still wounded him verbally.

"You are not a tool Amira." Aleksander said as he walked over and had the shadows lower me on the makeshift bed gently before they went away. "You are my Grisha soulmate, that has more meaning than your connections to the royals..or your claim on the throne." I looked at him knowing that I had to ask. "Is the throne your goal?" I asked as I didn't even want it but he smirked at me slightly before he touched my cheek. I felt something go through me from his touch and my heart twitch as he never touched anywhere but my hand as he kneeled down to where I didn't have to look up but sideways at him. "One day we will rule Ravka together..whether you want to or not and things will improve."

My heart was beating fast in my chest, as I wasn't used to having someone effect me so much. I knew I shouldn't with everything going on but my hand reached out and touched his cheek. He leaned into my hand but I saw him close his eyes as if he thought he won. He let himself be vulnerable with me as my hand left his cheek and made it's way behind his head as he started to open his eyes but I used my strength to pull him closer and before I even comprehended what I was doing I had my face close to his. "Amira.." He said surprised as I started to realize what I was doing but my mind was set. "Don't make me wait till the wedding to know what it's like to..." I blushed slightly knowing what I wanted but I hesitated. I think he was hesitant too but he leaned in closing the gap I'd left as his lips met mine.

For just the moment I kissed him back as I climbed out of the makeshift bed and got on my knees. Aleksander seemed to know what he was doing but after a few minutes he pulled away and then got up walking away. "Hey!" I said as he stopped and looked back "You should watch what you ask for..if I didn't walk away things would have gone in another direction." Aleksander said as I realized that right now we still had to watch. "But what they don't know..won't hurt them.." I said trying to make it seem better

Aleksander looked back at me as he realized I didn't know what was coming. He sighed "You'd think genya would have warned you.." He said as I was confused and he motioned for me to follow since it was time to eat. I followed but I guess he was going to prepare me for something..was it the wedding.

Grisha set the food on the table as we sat down but then they left us and we ate in silence for some time. I questioned about everything as he looked at me. "Amira..the night of the wedding..since you're the adopted princess. You're not going to like the way things have to go for the wedding night." Aleksander said as I put a bite in my mouth and just looked at him. What was he meaning? I waited till I swallowed before I asked "W-What?" I asked as he seemed to be contemplating his words. "A group of nobles will be standing to witness the consummation of the wedding..you have to remain as you are until next year so despite every desire to have you before then to keep your dignity in society you have to watch your choices." Aleksander finally said

People...are going to watch us... I thought as I dropped the fork and covered my face feeling it heat up and knew it was probably a thing in royal society to which I had to undergo. My mind raced with many things but that was the one thing I never expected.