Disclaimer: A Song of Ice and Fire belongs to George R.R Martin. Dark Souls belongs to FROM Software.
A Song of Darkness and Souls
Jon I
This was one of the few occasions Jon felt glad to be a bastard, looking at the high table he saw his brothers and sisters having to deal with their royal guests and acting all pompous, it almost made him chuckle seeing Robb stretching himself left and right on the chair because of the uncomfortable atmosphere.
Jon turns back to his table and looks at his only companions, his direwolf Ghost, whom he feeds by throwing a few pieces of meat here and there, and the knight Artorias, still without his helmet and hating every second he spends without it, the knight had told Jon that each minute without protection is an opportunity for your enemy to kill you, the bastard of Winterfell doubt someone would try something with the King present, but he couldn't argue against the knight's logic, even though he agreed with Artorias it doesn't mean Jon would spend his entire life wearing armor, he bet Artorias even slept with the damn thing on.
"You are too relaxed.". Artorias says taking a bite of his meat, he was already on his fourth plate, given his size Jon didn't wonder how he could eat so much, but he wonder how Artorias would survive a single day without food. "Even at a party, you should be alert.".
"I'm trying to enjoy myself.". Jon says drinking his wine, seeing that he was allowed to while his sibling weren't gave him a certain level of satisfaction, although he didn't feel too proud of it. "You should try, you can't be a soldier all the time.".
"*Sigh* Just take it easy with the wine, okay, if you fall on the floor, I will carry you back to your room bride style. How long do you think Robb and Theon will mock you if they see that?". Artorias says with a mocking smile, already following Jon's advice for what he saw.
"What do you think of the royal family?" Jon asks, not knowing what he should talk about with the knight that isn't related to battles, or training.
"A pathetic sight compared to Lord Gwyn.". Artorias whispers in Jon's ears, he didn't look afraid to say it out loud, just annoyed by the consequences if he did.
"I wish I'd met this, Lord Gwyn, you always talk about him with such respect.". Jon says taking a bite of this meat and drinking another sip of wine to push the food down his throat. "I know he took you in, but there has to be something else.".
"There is. Everything a good king could do for his people Gwyn did. If I could compare Lordran to Westeros, I would say the ruler who came the closest to Lord Gwyn was Jaehaerys the Conciliator.". Artorias says with respect in his voice for his former lord.
"I'll take your word for it." Says Jon taking a piece of meat and giving it to Ghost. "Did you ever regret being a knight?".
"Why do you ask?".
"I… after my father told me about my mother, I just feel like I don't have a purpose.". Jon says looking at his plate, imagining what future he could have. "I always dreamed of joining the Night's Watch, it is a place where no matter where you come from or the family you were born, you are treated as an equal, the only place where I could be more than the bastard of Eddard Stark, the shame and stain on his honor.".
"It's funny, isn't it?". Artorias says making Jon look at the knight with a frown forming on his brow. "Eddard Stark fucks another woman, gets her pregnant and his bastard son is to blame, not him. It doesn't surprise me the Blackfyres rebelled five times.".
"No, I don't think this is funny.".
"What I'm trying to say Jon is that despite the way your life had gone, you never did or said anything to be the shame and stain of House Stark". Says Artorias, giving his plate to one of the servants and taking his fifth. "You didn't stain House Stark, your father did, it's just easier to blame you, tell me, did you ever see your father, even once, avoid the responsibility of siring you? Did you ever see him deny you as his son? No, you didn't, don't you think that maybe this whole talk about being a stain on his honor is just on your head?".
"Even if it's true, a part of me can't accept it.". Jon says shaking his head, putting both his hands on his face, and scratching something that wasn't there.
"That's on you.". Artorias says with an emotionless voice and expression that Jon had become familiar with, every time he saw the knight like this, he knew appealing to emotions wouldn't work. "If you can't accept it because there is a possibility of me being wrong, that's okay, but if you can't accept it because others don't agree and you want them to recognize you then you are just being a spoiled brat.".
"You still didn't answer my question.". Jon says, not happy with Artorias' comment and trying to avoid the subject. "Did you ever regret being a knight?".
"No.".
"Why?".
"Because if I ever regret my choice it means I'd made the wrong one.". Artorias says still emotionless, but Jon could see something different in his eyes, although he doesn't know what. "I became a knight and chose duty, instead of a woman and her love, and every day I tell myself I made the right decision, otherwise, it was all for nothing.".
"Do you think my choice to join the Night's Watch is different?".
"I don't think. It is.". Artorias says taking a bite of a huge piece of meat, how could he still be eating Jon had no idea. "Unlike me, who was trained to be a knight and a soldier since infancy, you are making this decision because of something else. It could be because of recognition, maybe because you want to be admired, or just pride".
"It is not.". Jon answers quickly, too loud, but not enough to draw attention. "It's just… It's just that now that I know about my mother this place feels less and less like home.".
"Just promise me that you are doing this for yourself, and not because of a stupid reason such as clean the stain on your father's honor.". Artorias says sighing while taking another bite.
"I promise.". Jon responds with the same tone Artorias used.
A few seconds later, both men look at each other with widened eyes and surprise on their faces, at least Jon did, Artorias looked just confused, but Jon wasn't far either. The bastard questioned himself on why he made this promise, and why Artorias asked him to make this promise, sure they had a good relationship since the knight arrived at Winterfell and he had been polite and good to Jon, but they were not friends, yet here they were, making a promise to each other as if they were sworn brothers like his father and the king.
Getting on his feet with a napkin in his hands cleaning the fat of the meat from his fingers, Artorias takes his leave, but Jon could feel that something had made the knight feel uncomfortable. "I need some air, excuse me… Think about what I said, Jon.".
With only Ghost for company, Jon takes another sip of his whine thinking about what just happened.
"That's a big man.". Says a voice Jon knew.
"Uncle Benjen.". The bastard of Winterfell says getting on his feet and hugging the man of the Night's Watch.
Benjen Stark was the first ranger of the Night's Watch, and his tales of his travels beyond the wall were also one of the reasons Jon wanted to join them.
Both men sit down, Benjen now using Artorias' former seat and putting himself a reasonable amount of wine, he looks at Jon who was still smiling then to the albino direwolf.
"So… This is one of the direwolves I'd hear about.". Benjen says with an admiring glare, then he looks at where Artorias has gone. "And that was the giant knight I keep hearing about. Gods that man makes Hodor looks like a big child.".
"Don't call him giant. He gets annoyed when people do… at least I think he gets, I only see him making two faces, blank like plank, and hard as steel.".
"What were you talking about?" Benjen asks with interest, taking another sip of his wine.
"About me joining the watch.". Jon says, determined. "I'm ready to swear my vows.".
"Jon, when we swore our vows our lives are forfeited, we father no children, have no lands, no glory, nothing. You are young, maybe you should see the world before coming to this decision.".
"Artorias was saying the same thing.". Jon says, frustrated for being lectured once again. "I know I'm ready.".
"They all say this. Why do you think you are ready?".
"Because there's nothing here for me.". The bastard says now feeling melancholic. "Father… father told me about my mother.".
His uncle raises an eyebrow at that comment, making the bastard of Winterfell wonder if he knew about her too, or not.
"What did he say?". Benjen asks, not hiding how nervous he was, eyes moving around like someone was spying on them in every corner.
"That she died, that she loved me.". Jon said almost feeling tears coming up with each word but holding them back.
"*Sigh* I'm sorry Jon, maybe I should've been here when Ned told you.". His uncle said and the bastard felt like he felt deep regret, Jon wondered why.
"It's okay, but now do you understand why I want to leave?".
"Yes, I do, and I still think it's too haste of a decision, travel and see the world, experience something new, father a bastard or two.".
That was the final nail for Jon, Artorias had said the same things his uncle did, but unlike his uncle, the knight didn't try to convince him against joining the Watch, only saying to do it after he was sure he wouldn't regret it and most importantly, he didn't tell Jon to father a bastard, probably knowing what kind of life the child would have and why Jon wouldn't wish such fate to a baby.
"I will never father a bastard.". Jon said with such anger that it sounded like a hiss, pointing at his uncle and ignoring all the stares he was given.
The bastard of Winterfell turns around and sprinted away, tears back in his eyes, someone tried to grab his arm but fails and soon enough he leaves through the main door.
On the outside, Jon marched to the training yard, Ghost not far behind. Waiting for him there was Artorias, two swords in his hands, Jon noticed something different about these but before he could see what it is the knight tossed one of them at him.
"Catch.".
Catching the sword midair, the bastard sees what's the difference it has from the usual training ones, these swords were real steel, and the edge looked sharp enough to cut a man's head off.
"Begin.". Artorias stated waking Jon from his thoughts and making the bastard rise his sword to block the attack.
Artorias was relentless, no matter what attack he made or which step he took Jon couldn't find any flaw, thinking was a mistake, the knight grabbed the wrist of the hand Jon was using to hold the sword and put his foot behind Jon's heel and with just a weak push Jon falls on the ground, feeling a pinch in his throat, his eyes were closed but he knew it was the tip of Artorias' sword.
"Dead.". The knight says emotionless. "Get up… Again.".
This time Jon attacked and Artorias was merciless in his defense as in his attack, no flaws, no mistakes, he either paired Jon or dodged with a single step.
"If you let… your rage guides you… it blinds your eyes to what's around them.". Artorias says and moves with a spin to avoid Jon's attack, Jon swung his sword too hard and the result is Artoras hitting the back of his neck with the butt of his sword's handle, making Jon's face fall to the ground. Thanking the coldness of the North for not allowing mud to cover his face he gets on his feet only to feel another pinch, this time on the back of his neck.
"Dead.".
Turning around Jon starts swinging again, this time Artorias didn't move anything except his sword's arm, parring every move Jon made, making the bastard frustrated, giving the knight stronger and faster hits with each swing, but any of the moves even fazed the giant, and when Jon was tired, weak, and slow Artorias punches him in the face, weak enough to not hurt, strong enough to throw Jon in the ground… again.
Jon is annoyed when he feels another pinch of the knight's sword, this time on his chest.
"Dead.".
"AGAIN.". Jon screams wanting another match.
"No.". Artorias says with a cold tone, pressing the sword on Jon's chest, the bastard swore he saw a single drop of blood, but it was so small and his black clothes made it almost impossible to see it. "This time you will listen.".
"I don't have to listen to anything.". Jon says, or better, snarl, grinding his teeth, unable to get up less he wanted to get a scar on his chest.
"I'm not giving you a choice.". Artorias says taking the sword off the bastard's chest and letting him get on his feet. "You can't defeat me.".
"I know.". Jon says with a bitter taste in his mouth.
"Do you?". Artorias crosses his Arms and looks at Jon with a frow that reminded him of his father every time he caught Robb and him after a mischievous adventure, as Robb liked to call them. "Then why did keep trying despite knowing you couldn't defeat me?".
"I don't know.".
"Then why did stop?".
"Because I can't defeat you, you already said it.".
"Ah, so you do listen to the things I said. Curious, it doesn't look like it since despite I telling you time and time again that you are a Stark you don't believe or don't accept it."
Anger boiled again on Jon's head, but he couldn't think of anything to say to the knight. 'You don't know how it feels!', is a pathetic excuse, he did know how Jon feels, he was probably the only one who knew how it feels.
Jon didn't know his mother. 'Well, Artorias didn't know both his parents.'. He thinks and the arguments increase in the knight's favor now that his father told him his mother loved him and wanted his father to take care of him.
Jon was a bastard 'Well, Artorias might be one and not even know.'. He thinks and once again it gets worse since Artorias told him he was abandoned as a baby and one of the reasons might be because he was a bastard himself.
"Well.".
Jon raises his head to look at the knight and only gives him a weak answer. "I don't know.".
"You don't know… Perhaps you should focus on what you do know then, you are a Stark of Winterfell, descendent of Brandon the Builder, Brandon the Breaker, Theon Stark the hungry wolf, Torrhen Stark the king who put his people above his crown, and you know it.". Artorias says before turning around so he could back to the feast, or to bed, Jon doubts the knight had the patience for such events. "Pick those swords and go train, tomorrow we'll fight with double wielding, and unlike today I won't hold back.".
Artorias closes the door as Jon does what he was told.
It was barely a minute when Jon started to hit the straw dummy when he hears a voice.
"Boy.".
Jon looks at the source and sees the imp of Casterly Rock, sitting at the edge above the door of the Great Hall, looking at the world like a gargoyle, smiling.
"Sorry for interrupting, I came earlier but was afraid of what the big man would do to me if I did it when he was lecturing you… Is that animal a wolf?".
"A direwolf. His name is Ghost". Jon says not in the mood to talk after having done it once with his uncle, and twice with Artorias. "Why are you here?".
"At first it was to see the false Targaryen. I was busy at the local brothel when the king's party arrived and only hear about it once I was finished with the whores there. May I look at him closer?"; Tyrion says climbing down the stairs, looking like he was holding himself together.
'Maybe he wanted to jump off the stairs and spin in the air in a tight ball.'.
With every step, the dwarf close in Ghost took a small step back.
"Ghost sit… That's it, keep it still."
"For a moment I thought I scared him.".
"He doesn't scare easy.". Jon says with Tyrion now in front of him and Ghost. "You can touch him. Ghost won't hurt you. I've been… training him.".
"I am Tyrion Lannister.". Tyrion says petting Ghost's head like you do a dog.
"I know.".
"Yeah, I heard the knight saying you do know a lot.". Tyrion says with a chuckle, annoyed not by what he said but by what he might've heard. "You are Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you?".
Jon felt anger, he thinks of Artorias words. He was a Stark, not in name but in blood, but it was always hard to accept being called a bastard, no matter by whom.
"I am a Stark. I may have Snow as my last name, but I have the wolf's blood in my veins.". Jon says with confidence but is still frustrated for being forced to call himself a Snow.
"Did I offend you? Sorry. Dwarfs don't have to be tactful. Generations of capering fools in motley have won me the right to dress badly and say any damn thing that comes into my head.". Tyrion says with an easy-going smile on his lips. "You are a bastard though.".
"Lord Stark is my father.". Jon says without hesitation.
"Yes, I can see it." Tyrion look at Jon like he was studying his face as if he was an exotic animal like Ghost. "You have more of the north in you than your siblings.".
"Half-siblings.". Says Jon, pleased with the dwarf's comment, but trying to not be shown on his face.
"Let me give you a counsel, like the knight had done bastard. Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.". Tyrion says with an air of wisdom.
It was the fourth time on this night that Jon has been lectured, and his patience was thin as the edge of the swords he was holding now. "What do you know about being a bastard?".
"All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.".
"You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister.". Jon says trying to rebuke the imp's argument.
"Am I?". Tyrion asks with a cynical smile. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure.".
"Mine two.". Jon said, this time feeling empathy for the dwarf, misery loves company, and now he knew both of them had something in common.
"Sorry for your loss.".
"Sorry for yours too.".
With both men giving each other a smile of genuine sympathy Tyrion gives Jon another pearl of wisdom.
"Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need to be dwarfs.".
With a bow, which Jon responds in a similar fashion, Tyrion goes back to the main hall, when he opened the doors the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.
Author's note: Another chapter done, thank you for reading, and sorry for being too short. Please let me know what are your thoughts.
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