Title: Not the Same
Episode: 5x04 'Victim'
…
OA couldn't remember being so tired. Today had been rough and he was glad it was finally coming to a close because he didn't know how much more he could take.
His body was aching, his head pounding, he was so exhausted he could feel it in his bones… and his mind was still spinning so fast that he wasn't sure how to turn it off, or if he even could.
He was home now, only as of a few minutes ago, but it was already nearing midnight. It had been way too late to go see Maggie.
That's what OA would normally do after shift, but there was no way he would go there at this time of night because hopefully she was getting some rest. Besides, even if it hadn't been midnight, he wouldn't have wanted to unload this on her, wouldn't have wanted to worry her with everything that happened today.
She had enough on her plate as it was, seeing as how she was set to come back to work in a few short weeks… well, not short enough for OA. He missed his partner… he needed his partner.
Nina was a really good agent, and he knew she had his back, but he found it hard to open up to her. Maybe it was just in his nature to close himself off, but if it would have been Maggie, OA doubted that he would have been so hesitant to tell her about the mugging.
He wouldn't have necessarily been thrilled about sharing, as he hated the feeling of weakness that came along with it… but in his years of working with the brunette, he never felt humiliation. He knew he could talk to her about anything, and she just had her own special way of getting him to do so.
Then again, he was supposed to be looking after her… he was supposed to be strong for her. Honestly, he didn't know what he would have done, but he just wished he would have had that option… because that would have meant having Maggie there with him.
It just didn't feel right without her. He liked Nina well enough, respected her, but Maggie was the one he wanted by his side. She was his real partner… that's why the conversation Nina tried having with him in the conference room earlier struck a nerve.
She told him to tell her what was wrong because she's his partner, but he wanted to snap and tell her no, his partner isn't here right now.
Her words skirted dangerously close to a conversation he and Maggie had early in their partnership, where she told him that she was his partner, and to be honest with her. From then on, he had opened up to her, even with difficult subjects. That's why it didn't feel the same coming from Nina… it should have been her.
OA shook his head, as if to rid himself of his thoughts. There was nothing that could be done about it. For the next few weeks, he would be with Nina.
It would be okay though. Maggie was doing better, and OA was at least able to spend time with her after work. They had even been having lunch on the weekends, and Maggie assured him that she was good to be coming back to the bureau.
That was what eventually put his mind at ease for the night… knowing that in just a few more weeks, he would finally have his partner back.