Chapter 18
Steven dabbed at his nose with the hem of his shirt, wiping away the blood that had settled there. It was basically useless considering he had dried blood nearly everywhere on his body, but it felt good to have his hands busy.
He felt both mentally and physically exhausted, as if he had just run several marathons back-to-back. If not for Spinel's piercing stare, he might've fallen asleep already. She absentmindedly fixed her hair into her signature pigtails, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Ever since their…experiment, she hadn't looked away from him for even a second, impatiently waiting for him to tell her what he had seen.
As he ran it over in his head, he couldn't come up with a way to explain it all. Nothing he could say to her could convey how absolutely devastating it was for Pink to be betrayed so thoroughly. Spinel needed to know, she needed to fully understand.
He felt as if they were on a precipice; everything had changed between them, and once she knew Pink's side of the story, this nightmare they were trapped in would be over. After this, there would be no reason for them to stay in the garden. He would take her back to Earth with him and together they'd explain their twisted, tragic tale to the Crystal Gems, if he could make them remember themselves. It would be difficult, but they would come around eventually. All of them except for…Pearl.
He felt conflicted. Pink never liked Pearl at all back then; in his life, though, she had raised him. She was his family, the closest thing to a mother he'd ever had. Would she apologize, or would she still believe herself to be in the right? Six thousand years ago, he could almost understand her actions; she had seen gems shattered over what Pink and Spinel were doing, so maybe she thought she had protected her. Maybe now she'd see the error of her ways and apologize. He could only hope.
Spinel had been the one to suffer the most from Pearl's actions back then. If he could get her to apologize, it might change everything. He could already see the happy ending up ahead; the Crystal Gems would get their memories back somehow and Spinel could make amends with them, Pearl could face up to her actions, and then they could all move on. With everything forgiven, life could go back to normal.
What would that life look like? His eyes trailed over the pink gem in front of him. How would she fit into his life back on Earth? Things between the two of them were complicated, too touched by the history of his past life and what she had done in the present. She had kidnapped him, scarred him, tortured him, and then she had turned his world on its head completely.
Pink's memories had changed everything.
On one hand, he knew that they were separate from his human life. On the other hand, he had lived her life as truly and intimately as he had his own. Her memories were his memories now, and her feelings were his. To his dismay, he couldn't stop certain emotions from welling up whenever he looked at Spinel. It certainly didn't help that they had just been extremely intimate as he felt how deeply Pink had been in love with her.
His love and fear of her fought a war in his head, and he wasn't sure which would win. For the time being, he decided that it would be easier to not think about it. They had more important issues at hand.
"Can we go up?" His throat was raw as he finally spoke, gesturing up to the stone ceiling. "I want to see it for myself, if that's okay."
Spinel nodded immediately, jumping to her feet. She reached down to help him up, and he blushed. Stop it, he scolded himself. He took her hands, ignoring the fluttering in his chest, and stood up. The room spun in his eyes, but he didn't fall.
Step by step, they made it over to the far wall with its hidden door. His breath caught in his throat as he watched it light up, revealing a doorway he had gone through dozens of times. Déjà vu, again. He met Spinel's eyes for a tense moment before they stepped out into the hallway. The ladder was a bit more difficult on his legs, but he managed.
He held his breath for a moment before he pushed the trapdoor open above him, filling the tunnel with starlight. It was blinding, but he couldn't look away.
The garden was so very different from how he remembered it. The bushes that used to tower above them were gone, reduced to withered piles of twigs and dust. In their place was a wild jungle of dry, dead grass up to his hip. He stood up, looking around in horrified wonder. Their secret world, laid to waste. Left to rot with Spinel in it. She clambered out behind him, and the tree shifted back into place as the door closed. The tree.
He gave an involuntary gasp of shock. Their special flower tree, which he remembered creating as if it had happened yesterday, was changed. All of its leaves had died and fallen off, and all that was left were wiry branches and a few black-velvet flowers. He plucked one off and held it as gently as he could between his fingers. One weak gust of wind would tear it apart. He could remember the exact shade the petals used to be, and he was struck with an idea.
His free hand rested against his gem as he brought the flower to his lips, pressing a kiss to its emaciated stem. He held his breath as he watched a deep purple creep out from its center, bleeding out across the petals and filling them back up with life. As he lifted the flower up to Spinel's ear, its color lightened. Pink really had made it the exact color of her hair. His fingers lingered for a brief moment, skimming across her cheek before dropping to his side.
To her credit, Spinel looked like she was trying very hard to remain standing. Her eyes were wide, filled with the grief of a thousand heart-wrenching memories. She staggered, touching the flower against her temple reverently.
She's gonna faint, he thought to himself. Maybe mirroring his actions from right before she got abandoned wasn't such a good idea. He wasn't entirely sure why he had done it in the first place, but it had felt natural. Just like it felt natural for him to reach out and take her hand in his. Her teary eyes flashed up to him, catching his reassuring smile.
Hand in hand, they waded through the dry grass and onto what was left of the stone path. Dead leaves crunched under their feet, sprinkling dust across the already grimy pavement. His feet led him exactly where he meant to go, though he stopped for a moment to stare in horror at the two pristine footprints facing the warp pad. He didn't miss the way Spinel tensed at his side when he looked in the direction of the warp, as if she thought he'd make a run for it. He didn't. He gave her hand a squeeze, and they stepped further into their garden.
After a few minutes, they reached their destination. Steven froze, dragging Spinel to a halt with him. He managed a few shaky steps into the clearing before he sank to his knees, pressing his and Spinel's clasped hands against his chest. In front of them was their tree, or what little was left of it. Its rotten, dilapidated stump sat in the center of a scattered pile of gray dust, the remnants of its once vibrant leaves and branches. She and Pink had shared their first kiss in it and had spent countless hours in and under it together, and it was gone. The twisted symbolism was too much for him to bear.
Silent anguish rose up from a part of him that he had suppressed, mourning a life that he had forgotten. Spinel was silent at his side as he fought back his tears. Her hand squeezed tighter around his, the only indication that she understood what he was feeling.
He released his grip on her hand. He wouldn't make this any harder on her by falling apart. He needed to fix this, not wallow in it. His legs shook as he stood up and stepped towards the tree's trunk.
He didn't care if it killed him, he would fix this. He pressed his lips into the rough bark of the tree, cringing when dust flew up his nose. He pressed on, willing his powers to work with him. The bark filled out along the stump, turning a rich, deep brown as his gem warmed under his shirt. He felt his own energy sapping out of him, flowing out across the wood and bringing it back to life. It was going too slow; barely half of the trunk had been restored, with little green shoots beginning to form new branches along the sides. He had healed the flower without a problem, but an entire tree might've been asking too much.
"Hey, you don't have to- oh!"
Her arms flew out to catch him just as his knees gave out. He landed heavily against her chest, sweating and out of breath.
"You didn't have to do that…stars, you're pale! D-do you need food or something? I can go get you some!"
Spinel's frightened face hovered just over him, crowding his vision. He had overexerted himself, and now he couldn't think properly. His head was filled with a strange, tired buzzing that numbed him all the way down to his legs. Suddenly, he was struck by how beautiful she looked leaning over him. His fingers made their way up to her cheek again, tracing the dark lines down her skin.
"I just need…" His voice cracked and failed as he met her gaze; they were dangerously close, and he found himself suddenly overwhelmed. Had she always smelled so good? He couldn't remember, but at that moment he felt that he could spend eternity wrapped up in her scent. He swallowed and laid his palm flat against her cheek as he continued, "I need to fix this. I need to show you what happened."
Spinel blinked several times in silence.
Would she understand what he was trying to imply? She didn't seem to.
He led his other hand to wrap around the back of her neck, guiding her face closer. "I can show you…" His eyes flicked down to her confused frown, and he drew a shaky breath in anticipation. Despite his fear, a small part of him ached to feel her lips again.
She watched his eyes dazedly, seeming lost. Her breath rushed out across his face, filling his nose with her intoxicatingly sweet smell. He needed more. He sucked in another eager breath of it as he pulled her down to meet his lips.
She froze. Her body went comically stiff as he relaxed in her arms, melding his lips against hers slowly. He needed to show her what happened; if she saw it for herself, there could be no misunderstanding. No memories forced themselves into his mind as he kissed her, just an overwhelming feeling of elation. He felt positively giddy, as if he could fly into the air from pure joy.
Under his shirt, his gem began to glow brightly. The heat between their bodies rose far beyond what was natural; he willed his body and gem to cooperate with him as he craned his neck to get a better angle.
He could feel her melting into him, holding him against her chest as she tentatively returned the kiss without seeming to know why. They were so close. His breath hitched as he felt his body begin to dissipate into a formless ray of light, and he handed himself over to it. A part of him felt excited. After so long, they would finally be together again.
Rough hands grabbed him by his shoulders and tossed him viciously away. His head cracked against the newly healed tree bark, igniting an instant migraine behind his eyes as he slid to the floor in a daze.
"NO!" Spinel's enraged shout grated against his senses, jolting him out of his exhausted stupor.
What just happened? He found that it hurt to open his eyes, it was too bright. Something warm trickled from his temple across the bridge of his nose and into his eyelashes. He could feel the sting of concrete against his cheek, coldly biting into his skin.
"I won't let you do that to me again. You can't just kiss me and make it all better! That's so…so like HER!"
Oh, no. He'd pushed too far.
Tears mixed with blood in his eyes to create a swirling pink film over his vision; as he looked up, he saw his nightmares staring back down at him. She held her clenched fists at her sides, ready to strike. Rage twisted her beautiful face into a terrible snarl, and suddenly he couldn't believe how stupidly brave he'd been to kiss her. He'd forgotten what a monster she could be.
It was almost ridiculous how quickly she had turned frightening.
"Tell me what happened! I'm sick of your tricks, just tell me why you left me here!" Her fist flew at him, snapping the stump he was leaned against.
Steven ducked away from the punch and the shower of splinters that followed.
No, no, no! He had just gotten her to open up to him, and now it seemed like she was back at square one. Desperation drove his voice higher as he tried to calm her down.
"Please, stop! I just wanted to show you what really happened, I wasn't trying to trick you!" He let his hair fall over his aching eye as he sat up, pleading. "Please just listen to me, Spinel. She l-loved you, and she was going to come back for you! She was caught, and they made her forget you!"
"I don't understand… what were you just trying to do, then?"
He panted for a moment as he raised himself up on his knees, holding his shaking hands out to her. "I just wanted to show you what happened; you need to see it for yourself. I…she never stopped loving you."
Just like that, the monster vanished. She came forward and dropped to her knees in front of him, fighting back tears. Her hand reached out to graze the cut above his temple that bled out across his face. She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't…don't lie to me, please…please." Her eyes flashed up to his, filled with equal measures of guilt and dread. Her thumbs wiped the blood from his face, tracing under his irritated eyes gently. She lingered on his left cheek, gazing deeply into his blackened, scarred iris. Something in her seemed to break, and she crumbled.
Again, Steven was shocked at how quickly her emotions had made a complete switch.
She fell forward onto him, trembling with uncontrollable sobs. "I'm sorry…I'm so, so sorry, Steven!" Her voice was muffled against his chest, which burned at the contact. She jumped when he hissed in pain, and her eyes flashed to the still-open wounds there. She clapped her hands over her mouth, stifling another anguished cry. She began to hyperventilate into her palm as a crazed light entered her eyes. She seemed to be on the verge of a full-blown breakdown.
This wasn't going at all like he had hoped. He still felt horribly shaken from Spinel's violent outburst, but they were so close to the end; he wasn't about to let anything get in the way. Somehow, he would salvage the situation. He ignored the pounding in his head as he shuffled towards the crying gem and lifted his trembling hands to her shoulders.
"Hey, it's okay. Breathe. I'm not upset, I understand; but I just need you to breathe for me, okay?" He gave her a moment to steady herself before he continued, " Listen to me. You need to know the truth. I could just tell you, but I thought it would be better for you to see it yourself. I'm sorry; I should've explained what I was doing before."
She blinked at him for a moment, confused. He slid his hands down her arms to her fingers, gripping them tightly as he sucked in a deep breath. He deliberated his next words for a long time, trying to find the most tactful way to tell her what he meant.
The tense silence between them stretched on for just a bit too long, and he rushed.
"I should've asked, before. Um…will you fuse with me?" He cringed at himself, hating the blunt wording.
Apparently, that had not been what Spinel expected him to say. Her face went completely blank, startled straight out of her panic attack.
"Wh…what?"
Steven gulped. "If we fuse, you can see it all for yourself. That's what I meant when I said I'd show you."
Spinel shook her head slowly as she replied, "No, I guess I get that. But you…trust me like that? Even after what I just did to you? After everything I did to you? Why?"
He sighed and squeezed her fingers as he thought. He really had no idea why he felt so comfortable with the idea of fusing with her, but it didn't really matter. All that he knew was that he needed to, and that the idea didn't faze him at all. Something about it felt almost natural. Then it struck him.
"I've… fused with you already, before. I-I know what it's like to be Pink Tourmaline with you, but more than that…"She'd find out if they fused anyways, so he figured it was better to warn her now. Here goes. "I know you, Spinel. I know you as well as I know myself at this point."
Her eyebrows knitted together in a profound frown. "What are you talking about?"
He stalled for a moment, suddenly embarrassed. He could only hope Spinel wouldn't be angry with him. "I, um… basically, since I first met you, I've been…"
Her eye twitched in irritation and she pulled her hands away as he trailed off. She looked very close to losing her cool again. "Spit it out."
"I've been dreaming your memories. All of them." The words came out in a jumbled rush, as if getting them out faster would somehow dull Spinel's reaction. It didn't.
She looks like she's gonna faint. For the second time that hour, Steven found himself preparing himself to catch her. He was glad that they were already on the ground as he watched her stop breathing entirely and sway on the spot.
He leaned forward to place his hands on her shoulders, steadying her.
"I know you, Spinel. I've felt everything you've ever felt, and I've seen everything you've seen. You're missing pieces of the story, and I have them. I want to show you, because I know how much this is hurting you." He pulled her tight against his chest and whispered in her ear. "I can't stand to see you hurt this way anymore."
For a moment she was limp in his arms, and he could feel her forcing breath after rhythmic breath into her lungs. When she had collected herself, she straightened out of his grasp, looking down with teary eyes. Without another word, she nodded.
"Let's end this." He pulled her hand onto his lap, forcing her to meet his eyes. He would let her take the lead this time, whenever she was ready.
She took her time looking over his face, soaking in every detail before she leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Again, he was mind-numbingly surrounded by her scent. How had he never noticed it before? He let it fill his mind and his lungs as he felt her uncertain hands trail up to his cheeks.
This time, they were both prepared when their lips met. Steven took in a slow, deep breath, savoring the feeling of her hands pulling him closer. Now that she understood what he was trying to do, her gem heated up and began to glow instantly. His followed soon after, warming the air between them in a flash.
His arms found their way around her waist, tugging her flush against his searing stomach. She gasped lightly against him and he pushed on, willing himself to melt into her.
Her fingers dragged along his cheeks, scraping down to dig into his shoulders as she arched up against him. The sensations overtook him, and he was lost. His hands curled into her shirt as he felt their physical forms fall away into blinding nothingness.
…
Connie could only stare as Pearl and Bismuth vanished.
In their place rose a brilliant column of light, morphing and growing upwards and out. In the dim light of dusk, she could feel the image burning into her retinas, but she couldn't look away. The formless light shifted, growing legs and arms, too many arms. They curled into the air as weightless as smoke, grazing the sky with bright fingertips.
Almost as soon as it began, it was over. The fusion landed in the sand deftly and looked around. Connie squinted in the darkness to make out their features, but it was nearly impossible.
Pearl's gem reflected the moonlight, casting a cool glow over their eyes. From what she could tell, her silhouette seemed athletic; she was tall and bulky and wearing simple, practical clothing. Her hair was tied in a thick knot of braids at her neck, spilling out elegantly across her shoulders.
The fusion took a few staggered steps forward and then fell to her knees. Her eyes were wide and watery as she suddenly cried out and grasped at her head. Their scream reverberated across the beach, shaking rocks and dirt loose from the face of the cliff.
Connie ducked, throwing her arms over her head as a shield. A few pebbles bounced off of her as she sprinted from her hiding place. The fusion didn't notice her at all when she stepped in front of them, because she seemed to be arguing with herself.
"NO! Don't- hey, stop!" She pulled at her hair, growling. "I have to- UGH!"
One of the fusion's smaller arms suddenly reared back, poised with sharp nails aimed at her own heart. A fissure formed along their midsection, a slash of light that grew steadily across her ribs.
"Please, don't– no!- You can't stop me." Her hand swung forward, tearing into her own chest, and the fusion split.
When the flash receded, Pearl stood alone in the sand. She was restored, and she looked livid. Connie watched in shock as she dropped Bismuth's geometric, inverted-pyramid gem into the dirt, and then she was gone. A shower of sand blew out behind her as she ran towards Steven's house.
The silence that followed was only interrupted by a faint whoosh and a streak of bluish light flying into the air from the other side of the cliff.
Bismuth's gem was hot to the touch as Connie gingerly picked it up. She tried and failed to piece together what exactly just happened as she ran to the house. Her phone buzzed in her pocket as she flung the screen door open to find the house completely undisturbed. It seemed that Pearl went straight to the warp without stopping.
"What the hell?" She spoke under her breath to the inanimate gem in her palm as she set it down on the coffee table. She knew that Pearl was probably headed to save Steven, but she couldn't understand why she'd poofed Bismuth.
Suddenly, adrenaline burst through her shock and she gasped aloud. Pearl's going to save Steven. All thoughts of the gem on the table flew from her mind as she rushed to pull her phone from her pocket with trembling hands. She saw a notification on her screen, a text from Peridot.
P: 'Any updates?'
She didn't bother to even open the message, and instead she immediately called. Peridot picked up on the second ring, sounding excited.
"Hey, Connie! How'd it go?"
Connie raced around the room frantically as she rushed out, "I need everyone here, now! Pearl came back, and she warped off. I think she might be getting Steven!"
…
The physical sensation of being a fusion was overshadowed by the memories Steven brought to the forefront of their mind. All four of their arms wrapped around their body securely and their eyes slid closed as they watched.
"Spinel… What if someone sees?"
Pink's voice sent a jolt of shared dread through them. It was disorienting, watching the memory from both of their perspectives, but oddly it felt right.
Spinel sighed and rolled off of her, staring up at the stars.
"You're right, but I just wish we could just be together. Outside. I can feel it every time we're Pink Tourmaline together…she wants to be free so badly. I still can't-" she huffed, rolling over to look at Pink's face, "I still don't understand how she could be such a bad thing."
They heard Pink's internal dialogue together and watched her remember the trial. They felt a pang of sorrow as Pink swore to protect Spinel from the Diamonds.
"I don't know, either. All that I know is that what we're doing is dangerous. I don't think it's wrong, though. Pink Tourmaline is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I hope you feel the same way…"
Another wash of grief hit them at the words, and they could feel hot tears streaking down their face. Pink had loved her so much, and it hurt them immensely to know what would happen next.
"...let's go down so we can continue this." She wiggled her eyebrows as she grabbed Spinel's wrist, trying to lighten the mood.
For the sake of propriety, they skipped over the next few minutes. Both of them already knew all of what happened, and neither of them felt inclined to rewatch it just then.
Pink Tourmaline sat alone in their secret room, humming to herself. The fingers on her smaller hands picked absentmindedly at the lint on her stockings while the others played in her hair. From her view through the warp pad above, it looked to be a beautiful day out. Every day was beautiful in their garden.
She could see what the garden looked like from Pink's and Spinel's memories of it, but she had never actually seen it herself. She wasn't allowed. It seemed like such an unfair thing.
She wanted to try her hands at climbing their tree, running through the bush-mazes, and splashing around in the fountain, but she knew she couldn't. If she got caught, Pink and Spinel would be in big trouble.
She sighed, dropping her hands in a pile on her lap. Was her whole life going to be like this, just sitting in a dark room all alone? It seemed so lonely.
Just then, a splash of color caught her attention. A bright orange butterfly flitted over the warp pad, a glowing flame against the starry sky. It took her breath away. It was there and gone faster than she could blink, and she immediately stood and craned her neck to catch another glimpse.
Her heart jumped to her throat as the insect fluttered over her again, this time landing on the crystalline surface of the warp. It opened and closed its wings repeatedly, revealing the brown and silver tones on the bottoms and the orange and gold on the tops. She had never seen something so beautiful.
She pressed her nose against the glass, stretching up onto her toes.
"Hello, you! Stars, you're pretty! Do you wanna be my friend?" The butterfly flapped its wings happily, which she chose to take as a yes.
For once, she wasn't alone.
That was, until her new friend began to crawl to the edge of the warp, out of her sight. One side of her window lit up in a golden refraction of tiny wings, and then she was alone again. The cold of the cell creeped up on her, filling her with dread. Suddenly, the room felt far too small; she couldn't breathe.
Before she could form a single rational thought, she was climbing the ladder to the outside world. She reached the top in no time and stopped cold. Her hand rested against the bottom of the trapdoor as she came to her senses. She couldn't go out there; Pink would be so mad!
Still, she'd never been this close before…and what harm could one little peek do? She'd have one short look around and then she'd go back to their room; no one would even know.
The door creaked on invisible hinges as she pushed it up and poked her head out. Instantly, she was assaulted by the bright, bold colors she was surrounded with. Green leaves and grass, purple and blue flowers, bright whites and reds and pinks, and there! A flit of orange streaked with gold flashed briefly over the top of the bush.
The trapdoor wasn't made for someone of her stature, but she managed to squeeze out without getting too dirty. Her fingers splayed out across the grass as she crawled, careful to keep hidden behind the tall bush. Pink may have been able to get away with just crouching, but she was much larger than her Diamond half.
The perfumed smells of the flowers wafted through the air, leading her around to the main path. She'd have to squeeze through the bush to get to it, if she even could. She sized it up and realized that…wasn't going to happen. She'd take the bush with her if she tried to get through. She had to find another way.
Even though she was fairly certain there was nobody else in the garden with her, she held the clouds of hair on either side of her head down as she peered over the hedge.
With the coast clear, she jumped clean over the leaves and landed heavily on the stone pavement. From here she could see every inch of the garden, from Pink and Spinel's tree reaching for the stars in the distance to the short walls surrounding the border. It was everything she could've hoped for.
A flicker of movement at her side caught her attention, and she turned to find herself face to face with her little butterfly friend.
"Hello! Don't tell anyone I came out to see you, okay?" She reached out a hand and waited for her friend to land there. Together, they led a short march through the garden, just so that she could see it all for herself.
The tension eased from her shoulders the longer she spent outside, and she began to think that Pink and Spinel were just being too paranoid. Nothing bad was going to happen to her in their garden; no one ever visited there anyways.
The air was fresh, it was nice and bright, and she had so, so much space. She could stand up to her full height and even jump without hitting a single obstacle. She ran a full lap around the place, skipping and laughing the entire time.
Her butterfly friend had long since been left in the dust by the time she finally paused for a breath. She'd never had to do that before, and it was exhilarating. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears and in her fingertips, and a new and vibrant heat radiated from her cheeks.
Everything was foreign to her, and she took every new sensation as a gift. She had no idea how long it would be before she could do any of it again, if she ever could.
She sobered at the thought. How long had she been out? She had no idea, but she suddenly felt like she was pushing her luck.
The entrance to their room was just around the corner, but there was one more thing she wanted to see first. She couldn't let herself go back without trying to climb their tree.
Countless hours she had spent daydreaming about the place, and she had burned to see it herself for as long as she could remember. She hurried over to the clearing, knowing it might be her one and only chance.
It was much shorter than she expected, although it made sense considering Pink and Spinel were so small. She could almost reach the tallest branches with her fingertips, and she knew immediately that climbing it was out of the question. She'd crush it.
Despondently, she dragged her feet back to their room. The magenta flowers of the room's entrance beckoned her back over the bushes as she got close, and she looked down at them distastefully. She didn't want to go back in there. Although she was still alone, at least she could breathe outside. Still, she knew that she had to go back; she had no choice.
Her foot stepped deftly to the other side of the bush, and she sighed in despair. She let the branches scrape and cut at her as she stood there only half-concealed, stalling for time.
Both of them felt their body physically jump as the garden of their memory lit up in a bright flash.
The Pink Tourmaline of their memory jumped as well, falling in a heap on the pavement as she realized who had warped in. Their veins were flooded with ice as Pearl fell to her knees on the warp pad.
White dots spread across their vision, and they shattered apart. The blast threw Spinel and Pink away from each other and they landed haphazardly on the path.
Both of them were laser-focused on Pink's memory from that point on.
Her terror-stricken panic infected them. Through their mind ran her worst nightmares; she and Spinel would be on trial together in front of the other Diamonds. She knew how they'd all react. Blue and Yellow with their disappointment and disgust, and White with her cruel ruthlessness.
There was nothing she could do. Spinel would be shattered.
She realized then that it was all her fault. She had chosen to come back and fuse with her again after seeing the consequences firsthand, and now they were going to pay for it dearly.
She was frozen in fear as Spinel jumped up ahead of her, running towards Pearl with splayed palms and a plea on her lips. She couldn't move aside from a slight widening of her eyes as Pearl lashed out.
She was snapped out of it as her lover hit the ground and scraped along, straight into a bush.
Their garden was washed in a bright glow once more, and Pearl was gone.
For what felt like the hundredth time for both of them, they watched their final goodbye.
Spinel begged for them to stay together, and for a moment she was almost swayed. It passed quickly; she knew that if she could just catch Pearl before she could reach White, everything would be okay. There would be no need for them to run away.
Their heart fluttered in despair as she pressed a flower behind Spinel's ear and kissed her goodbye for the last time. The last thing she saw before she warped away was Spinel staring up at her, smudged with dirt and tears.
"I'll see you soon, love."
She despaired as her feet left the ground. She had acted brave for Spinel's sake, but really she was terrified. She had no idea what awaited her at the palace, and she braced herself for the worst. If Pearl had already seen White, would she even get a chance to explain herself? She didn't find that likely. She'd have to run, and fight off the guards that would undoubtedly be sent after her. A shiver ran up her spine at the thought of purposely harming another gem. Why did things have to get so bad so quickly? She spared just a moment to lament Pink Tourmaline's decision, and then her time was up.
The throne room was silent and empty as she stepped off of the warp. The quiet put her on edge; she cautiously crept out into the hall on her toes and strained to hear any footsteps. The walls seemed to press in around her, smothering her pounding heart. She wasn't sure if it was just her adrenaline, but the palace seemed emptier than usual.
Blue and Yellow were out on missions, so they weren't an issue, but Pearl knew exactly where to find White.
She's probably already with her.
The thought stopped her in her tracks, and she faltered. If Pearl was already with the head Diamond, then she was wasting the only time she had left to get away. She turned on her heel, facing the door she had just gone through. If she could get out before anyone knew she was there, she wouldn't have to fight off any guards, and they could have a head start in their escape.
Steven could feel Spinel's staggering confusion as they watched Pink walk back into the throne room. Through her mind flashed images of her Spinel, patiently waiting for her to return, and she began to piece together their plan. From the garden they'd warp to some far-off planet and somehow find a way to a place more remote, where they'd be safe from prying Diamonds. Then they could be together openly, and do whatever they felt like doing without worrying.
She sighed longingly as she tried to imagine that life, free from the stifling environment she'd lived in for thousands of years. It would be a change unlike anything she had ever experienced before, and a bright excitement filled her chest at the idea.
She tried to consider what kind of a person she'd be outside of the palace and her status there as she stepped up onto the warp pad. Maybe she was meant to leave homeworld; the life she was dreaming up seemed so much happier and fuller than it ever could've been in the palace.
She took just a second too long to put her arms out to warp, and everything was lost. She heard a few quick, light footsteps, and there was a toxic flash of pink light at the edge of her vision.
Pearl's eyes swam with furious tears as she guided the scythe straight through her Diamond's chest.
Pain unlike anything she could've imagined seared through her, crackling across her torso and into her arms.
Before she knew what was happening, before she could even cry out in shock and pain, she was gone in a puff of smoke. She could feel the vague sensation of her gem being caught in small hands, and then nothing.
Pink's memories fell away. They couldn't remember anything beyond that fateful moment, and for a moment they wondered why. The answer came almost instantly; Pink couldn't have erased memories she didn't know she'd had.
She never came back to the garden because she didn't even know it existed. Pearl had snatched thousands of years of her life away, and had left Spinel to rot in the garden on purpose.
No, not on purpose, they reasoned with themself. She thought she was protecting them.
How? Sure, the Diamonds never found out what had happened between Pink and Spinel, but what did Pearl do to actually protect Spinel? Nothing! She always hated her, and she finally got her revenge. She got Pink all to herself for all of those years, and we died here!
Pearl…might not have known that she would stay in the garden; maybe she thought that she'd gotten away? I didn't matter anymore, it all happened so long ago. Pearl would know how wrong she'd been now, and she would apologize. Everything would be okay.
"No! I-I don't want to forgive her. She hurt us! If not for h-her, we would've never been apart! We would've been together this entire time!" Pink Tourmaline's new voice was different, darker. It had a breathless sorrow etched into every word that they choked out, like the ending heave of a sob. They stood up to their full height, surveying the desolate landscape.
"Just…look what she did. To our garden, to me." She laid a palm flat over the inverted gem on her chest, and against the black tears that flowed heavily from their eyes.
"I…I know. I understand, and it's okay to be…angry about it, but that won't help anything. We can end this. We have to." They stepped away from the half-healed and smashed tree stump and onto the main path.
"She can't just get away with destroying our life."
Together, they could easily overpower her; it was what Pink had planned from the beginning anyways. She was going to shatter Pearl before she could get to White. She'd finally get what she deserved, six thousand years late.
They couldn't do that, Pearl wasn't like that anymore. She had her moments still, but she didn't deserve to be shattered. No one deserved to be shattered.
Memories pooled up behind their eyes; Pearl screaming in Steven's face after he'd found Rose's sword, Pearl running away with the scabbard and nearly letting him fall to his death because she couldn't face him, all of the times she compared him to Rose, to Pink. His entire human life played before them, day after day of failing to measure up to someone he'd never known. It was proof that Pearl had never changed.
"She never really accepted Steven as his own person; she hated him for taking Pink away from her. Even now, I guarantee she'd trade him away for her in a heartbeat."
For just a moment, Steven found himself in the mess that was Pink Tourmaline's mind.
"Wouldn't Spinel?" He didn't feel bitter or resentful; he was just stating the truth.
They gasped as a fissure formed along their shoulder, widening into a small crack.
"Spinel wants Pink back, she has this entire time. That's why she kidnapped Steven in the first place and kept him alive here." He forced their feet to move, dragging them over to the stagnant pond. Through the dregs of long-rotten lily pads they watched their reflection shed fresh streams of ink down their cheeks. The split curved along their collarbone, lighting up the underside of their chin.
"Spinel didn't understand at first, and it's still difficult for her, but she's trying now. She…she messed up, and she knows that. For her, it all just happened, Pearl had years to adjust, and she still failed him. She did this to us, and now she's going to get away with it?" They hissed in pain and grabbed at their shoulder, trying to keep themselves together.
"She won't let me exist. She'll hurt me again, and keep them apart. We…we have to stop her from killing us again. Please…" The pleading tone of Spinel's voice bled through the fusion's, begging him to understand.
"They'll figure it out when they get there. For now, let's just…be."
Their split sealed itself, and their minds melded fully once again. Their consciousness swirled together as a constant buzz of conversation and open understanding while the garden passed under their idle feet. By the time they reached the warp pad, neither could tell where they ended and the other began; they were just one mind, pondering and processing the same things at the same time.
The warp served as a bad omen, a sign that they'd have to face their past lives and fight their demons. Their feet turned away from it on reflex, carrying them away from the cause of their sudden distress.
The garden itself wasn't much better on their nerves; all that they could see was what had been. The life had been sucked out of the place when it was left to decay into grey dust. It covered the entire place like a thick film, as if the time that had passed had physically manifested itself.
They stared down at the only exception. Two pristine dots, as small as one of their fingers, crowned by snapped roots and dead weeds. Tears pricked behind their already swollen eyes, but they didn't let themself get overwhelmed. With a cold numbness in their heart, they scraped their foot over the spot, kicking and smearing away the evidence of the worst part of their story.
A weight lifted off of their shoulders and they took a deep breath, closing their eyes tight in relief. Their mouth stretched into a wan smile at the swell of emotion, and then turned cold in an instant.
Their eyes flew open in terror as they heard a faint whoosh behind them. For a moment, they faltered; they had a feeling who had come so suddenly, but they weren't ready to face her yet.
They hadn't decided what to do about her yet.
Still, they turned to face Pearl head-on. Her pale eyes roved over them wildly, taking in their torn clothes and mutilated skin, and she blanched. Obviously she hadn't expected to find Pink Tourmaline here, especially looking so beaten-up. Their silhouette was reflected back at them through her eyes, tall and striking with wild hair and a naturally aggressive stance.
Pearl's gaze flickered down to their chest for an instant, and she seemed to swallow her shock entirely. Her weapon materialized in her hand in a single flourish, and she brandished it at them fiercely.
"You…" Her whispered words came out as a venomous hiss, "what did you do to him?!"