Author's Note:
Puph: Hey everybody! We're finally back with a new chapter!
Lucario: GAH! What happened? What am I doing here? Where am I?
Puph: You're in author space! It's like hammer space but where authors live!
Lucario: Dude, when are you gonna stop doing weird stuff?
Puph: NEVER! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lucario: Great, our author is a megalomaniac. I bet he's planning to end the world or something.
Puph: End the world? Just once?
Lucario: *face paws* Why did I ask?
Mario stood in the hallway of Smash Mansion, looking at a notepad.
"Ok-a, Pit. So, I-a need-a you to-a go-a to-a Mr.-a Winter's house-a and-a pick-a up-a a couple-a boxes of-a Freezies for-a the-a tournament."
"Uh? Why me?" asked Pit.
"Well-a, you're-a the-a only-a one here-a to-a do-a it. I'm-a going-a shopping with-a Fox and-a Lucario in-a a moment-a. And-a everybody-a else-a went-a with-a Peach on-a vacation-a to-a Delfino-a Isle-a."
Pit sighed. "And I'm going alone?"
"Well-a, there's-a nobody-a else-a to-a go-a with-a you," said Mario.
"Well couldn't you send Lucario or Fox with me?"
Mario sighed. "Pit. You-a know-a just-a as-a well-a as-a I-a do-a how-a much-a Kirby and-a Dedede and-a Yoshi eat. I-a honestly-a could-a use-a a few-a more-a Smashers to-a come-a with-a me."
Pit sighed. "All right. I'll go."
"Thank-a you!" said Mario. "Don't-a forget-a to-a wear-a a coat-a, it-a gets-a cold-a up-a there-a at-a Mr.-a Winter's house-a!"
Suddenly the two froze as a plot hole opened in the ceiling next to them.
"Mamma-a Mia! It's-a a plot-a hole! Something's-a gonna-a happen!" said Mario with alarm.
Suddenly, a figure fell out of the plot hole and fell face first to the ground.
Pit gasped as he saw who it was. It was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.
It was Oswaldalina Cordelia Ophelia Starborn Eclipse Luna Sol Andromeda Sirius Cassiopeia Orion Cygnus Ursa Major Ursa Minor Aurora Borealis Australis Twilight Midnight Daybreak Midday Tea Time Ebony Raven Red Green Blue Yellow Stadium Stadium 2 Gold Silver Crystal Ruby Sapphire Emerald Fire Red Leaf Green Colosseum XD Gale of Darkness Red Mystery Dungeon Blue Mystery Dungeon Pokemon Pinball Diamond Pearl Platinum Ranger Black White Mountain Dew Doritos MLG Gamerfuel 360 No Scope Double Kill Triple Kill Overkill Sonic Shadow Amy Tails Knuckles Rouge Big Eggman Sakura Reina Hinata Akira Taiga Rainbow Fairy Applejack Twilight Sparkle Rainbow Dash Pinkie Pie Princess Celestia Dragon Thing That The Author Can't Be Bothered To Look Up The Name Of Friendship is Magic Mermaid Unicorn Elf Fairy Naruto Uzumaki-Uchiha-Senju-Hyuga-Kirk-Picard-Spock-[PLACEHOLDER]-Skywalker -Kenobi-Amidala-Yoda-Windu-Jinn-Ketchum-Miyamoto-Iwata- Fils-Amie-Sakurai-Partridge-and-a-Pear Tree-Do-not-steal! Or OC-chan for short.
She had shoulder length hair that was purple like the most beautiful wildflower, blowing in the wind. It shimmered in a multitude of shades of purple, from pale lilac to a deep ripe plum, as the sun's rays illuminated it and the wind gently ruffled it (despite the fact that they were indoors and there were no fans in the room). Her hair was straight, but slightly wavy and with absolutely no bed head, and it seemed to sparkle in the sunlight, cascading over her back like a waterfall, never snarling or getting caught in anything like real life waist length hair. Her heterochromic eyes gleamed, seeming to be luminescent light sources of their own (which was cute and not creepy of course). One glowed dangerously red like a ruby lit ablaze with fire, while the other one glowed a brilliant cyan blue, like a luminous crystal of great power. She wore an ebon raven black hoodie with a pearl white Smash Bros logo that fit her perfectly, and a pair of top dollar sapphire blue designer jeans, encrusted with blue topaz jewels in elaborate patterns. She also wore jet black leather fingerless gloves and wore tan toned designer fur lined boots, made with fake fur (OC-chan doesn't hate animals!). She had a black backpack with a white Smash logo on the back. She also had two golden katanas strapped to her back, the hilts wrapped in purple fabric. Both had purple tassels as well as keychains hanging of the end. One keychain was a holographic peace symbol that reflected with a rainbow sheen as the light hit it. The other keychain was a bright yellow smiley face.
"It's-a OC-chan!" said Mario with surprise. "Mamma-a Mia, why-a does-a she-a dress-a so-a specifically?"
"It's because that's her gimmick, just like your ridiculously written Italian accent!" shouted Lucario from down the hall.
Pit rubbed his head. It felt like OC-chan was important or something to him, but he couldn't remember why. Did he somehow have amnesia and didn't know about it or something?
"Ugh," said OC-chan as she pulled herself to her feet. She stared at Pit.
"Pit, why do I feel like I'm missing something in my memory about you?" she paused and gasped. "Oh, no, do I have amnesia?"
"I don't know, it feels like I have amnesia about you too," said Pit.
"Say-a OC-a-chan," said Mario. "I-a know-a you-a just-a got-a back-a, but-a can-a I-a ask-a you-a to-a go-a with-a Pit on-a an-a errand-a?"
"I'm going to Mr. Winter's house to get some boxes of Freezies," said Pit.
"Sure! I'm always ready to help!" said OC-chan.
"Then let's go!" said Pit.
A few hours later, Pit and OC-chan were walking down the path away from Mr. Winter's house. It had been a mostly silent walk. Pit knew that he couldn't remember something regarding OC-chan, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe if they started talking, it would help him remember.
"Man, these boxes of Freezies are surprisingly light!" said Pit as the two continued their descent down the side of the mountain.
"I know," said OC-chan. "I was expecting them to be much heavier."
"Good thing, it's a long way down the mountain!" said Pit.
"Hey, what's that?" said OC-chan, glancing over her shoulder.
Pit looked over to where she pointed to see a massive cloud bank rolling in towards them over the top of the mountain.
"A snowstorm? Wait a minute, the forecast didn't say anything about snow!"
"We'd better hurry," said OC-chan. "We still have some distance to go."
"There's no time! The storm's almost here!" said Pit with alarm as the storm clouds rolled in towards them at an alarming rate.
"Look! Over there! A cabin! We can shelter there!" said OC-chan.
Pit turned to see a very convenient cabin situated nearby the path. How had he not noticed it on the way up?
"Good idea, OC-chan! Let's go!"
The two rushed into the cabin and slammed the door shut as the wind began to howl outside.
"Wow, that was a good idea, OC-chan!" said Pit. "That storm sure rolled in fast!"
"I know," said OC-chan. "Anyway, I guess we'll have to wait out the storm here."
"Uh, I think we'll have to," said Pit, turning his attention to the windows. "We're already snowed in!"
"Wait, what?" gasped OC-chan. "It's hasn't even been 30 seconds since we got in? How did it snow that fast?"
At the grocery store...
Lucario stiffened suddenly.
"What's-a wrong-a, Lucario?" asked Mario.
"I feel like the author is doing something, but I don't know what. It's like a plot is happening, and I'm just sitting here on the sidelines. It feels weird after last chapter," said Lucario.
Mario sighed. "You-a and-a your-a chapters-a Lucario! You-a gotta-a stop-a freaking-a out-a and-a relax-a!"
Lucario shook his head. "Maybe I should. I'll check in with Pit after he and OC-chan get back into cellphone range. Make sure Puph isn't doing something weird."
Fox walked back with several boxes of butter. "Mission Complete!"
"Thanks, Fox. Uh... right, where'd I put that shopping list..."
Back at the random cabin...
Pit shivered. "Man, this toga does nothing for the cold!"
OC-chan nodded. "Yeah. Maybe we should try to start a fire in the fireplace over there!"
Pit stood up. "I wonder if there's anything in the cabin to help us start a fire? We should check around!"
OC-chan nodded. "Yeah, we should go check! Let's go!"
After a few minutes of searching…..
OC-chan poked her head out of a closet.
"Hey Pit! I think I found something!"
Pit walked over to the closet where OC-chan was at, and gasped.
"Is that a flamethrower?"
"Yeah, and a and a ton of wood, and some newspapers! There's even a manual to go with it!"
"Nice! All right, let's go get this thing fired up! We have fire!"
A few hours later….
OC-chan sobbed into her hands as Pit bowed his head in shame.
"How can't we start a fire with a literal flamethrower!?" said Pit. "This is ridiculous!"
Suddenly, there was a poof, and OC-chan and Pit turned around. It was the author, Puph 17!
Puph sighed. "Ok. So I know that you guys aren't used to flamethrowers, but it seems like I need to show you how to start a fire."
"Sorry…." said OC-chan.
"No, it's my fault. I overestimated your abilities."
"What, you mean to say that OC-chan isn't perfect?" asked Pit.
"Oh no, she has weaknesses. She's clumsy and never was a girl scout," said Puph.
"Are those real weaknesses?" asked Pit.
"Of course, they are!" said Puph. "Trust me, I'm an author! I would never write a bad character!"
OC-chan sobbed into her hands. "Pit... could you ever forgive me because I was never a girl scout?"
"Of course I will, OC-chan!"
OC-chan sniffed. "Thank you Pit."
"Anyway," said Puph. "We should get this fire going! Let the former boy scout show you how it's done!"
Puph stood up and walked over to the fireplace, and pulled out a flint and steel. After rearranging the newspaper and the wood, Puph began striking the flint and steel. Sparks began flying at the newspaper, but it didn't light.
"Huh? That's weird."
Puph kept striking the flint and steel, but again, nothing happened. Suddenly, Puph stood up and narrowed his eyes.
"Wait a second…."
Puph snapped his fingers and a portal above him opened. A laptop fell out of the portal into his hands. He opened the computer and began searching for something.
"Right. I forgot to turn on fire spread. I turned it off to make sure Chartoissaur didn't burn the mansion down in Chapter 3. Anyway, I just turned it back on, you're good!"
Puph pulled out a flare gun from out of his pocket and shot it into the fireplace. The flare immediately caught the wood on fire and quickly set it ablaze.
"There we go. Sorry about that!"
"Ah, that's all right," said Pit. "Thank you!"
"Anytime!" said Puph. And with a poof, he disappeared into thin air.
Pit and OC-chan rushed to the fireplace and began to warm up. As they did, a thought came to OC-chan.
"We should have asked Puph to help get us out of here."
Pit facepalmed. "We totally should have."
"Well, at least we have a fire, and a ton of wood. We'll be ok for the moment."
"Yeah, we should be."
A few hours later…..
"You know, I'm kinda getting hungry," said OC-chan. "I wonder if there's any food?"
"We should check," said Pit.
The two got up and went to check the kitchen.
"Why are all the cabinets filled with this…. thing? What's this called…. Pocky?" asked Pit. "Never heard of it."
OC-chan inspected the ingredients and nutrition display on the back. "Yeesh, so much sugar and empty calories. Oh, it looks like there's some dumb looking game you're supposed to play. Haven't these people ever heard of not playing with your food? Let's see if we can find anything else."
"Oh hey, look at this!" said Pit excitedly from the refrigerator.
"A roast chicken with mashed potatoes! Score!" grinned OC-chan.
Pit slammed the chicken and mashed potatoes into the microwave and rubbed his hands with glee as it warmed up.
"You're awfully excited," said OC-chan.
"I'm hungry! What do you expect?"
OC-chan just rolled her eyes. "You're sharing half of that with me, remember?"
"I know," said Pit. "But it's a good meal either way!"
"I agree, it is," said OC-chan. "Let's dig in!"
About an hour later….
"Aaaaah, I'm stuffed!" said OC-chan. "I'm glad there was some decent food!"
"You wanna try some of that Pocky stuff?" asked Pit.
"Eh, sure why not, couldn't hurt, right?" said OC-chan.
Pit and OC-chan got up and grabbed a box of Pocky each. They cracked it open and began eating it.
"Huh. I like it! It's kinda like candy!" said Pit.
"Me too! The game's still dumb though," said OC-chan.
"Yeah, definitely," said Pit. "But either way, we got a fire, we got stuff to eat, I think this could have gone a lot worse."
"Yeah, for sure," said OC-chan. "Say, are there any beds in here? The storm doesn't seem to be letting up. We're probably gonna have to stay here overnight."
"I'm not sure. We should check that hallway over there!" said Pit.
The two got up and walked down the hallway.
"Oh no, there's only one bedroom, and only one bed!" said OC-chan.
"That is a problem, isn't it?" said Pit. "If you like, I can sleep on the floor."
"Oh no, I couldn't make you do that!" said OC -chan. "I'll sleep on the floor!"
"No, no! I'll sleep on the floor! I'm tough, I'll be fine!" said Pit.
"But Pit," said OC-chan, "I could never forgive myself if you got sick….."
Two hours later…..
"Pit, I insist!" said OC-chan.
"No, I insist!" said Pit.
"I inisisted first!"
"No, I did!"
"Fine, we'll both sleep on the floor then!" snapped OC -chan.
"All right, fine!" said Pit.
"Here, I'll take this blanket and pillow, you take this blanket and pillow!"
"All right then! It's settled then!"
The two rolled themselves up in their blankets as best as they could.
"Goodnight," said OC-chan.
"Goodnight," said Pit.
And with that the two drifted off to sleep.
About 2:38 AM…
Pit woke up and immediately, the sensation of being cold hit him.
He sat up quickly and tried adjusting his blanket to no avail. He was cold, no matter how he adjusted his blanket.
"You too?" asked OC-chan.
"Yeah. I'm really cold," said Pit.
"It's gotta be because we're on the floor," said OC-chan, shivering. She stood up, blanket still wrapped around her. Suddenly, she began coughing, as Pit stood up as well.
"Oh no! OC-chan, are you all right?" said Pit.
"Ugh…. I think I'm sick…." said OC-chan. "Probably because I was sleeping on the floor."
"Oh no! OC-chan!" said Pit. "Hold on! I'm sure I can cook soup or something! Here, lie down on the bed!"
"No wait…. hold on a second…." said OC-chan.
OC-chan dropped the blanket and took a strong stance and began grunting and shouting loudly. As she did, her hair began to turn golden and begin to start waving in the air, and power began radiating around her.
"Whoa….." said Pit, as he took a step back.
OC-chan kept doing this for a few minutes, until there was a poofing sound. After that, she stopped glowing.
"What was that!?" asked Pit.
"Oh, I can use my Super Saiyan powers to make myself not sick," explained OC-chan.
"Super Saiyan powers?" asked Pit confused.
"Yeah! I'm 1/16 Super Saiyan. Also 5/46ths Unicorn, 22/89ths Fairy, 57/98ths Mermaid, 47/87ths Elf, 82/987ths Pixie, and 377/524ths Shonen Anime protagonist!"
"I'm pretty sure that math doesn't add up," said Pit, scratching his head.
OC-chan shrugged. "I dunno. That's what my uncle told me. But basically part Super Saiyan, part Unicorn, part Mermaid, part Elf, part Pixie, and part Shonen Anime protagonist. I think my great great great grandfather found the One Piece or something."
"Your grandfather…found a swimsuit?" asked Pit.
"No, it was supposedly a treasure or something like that. I dunno."
Pit just shrugged.
There was a moment of silence.
"So, what do we do now?" asked Pit, as he began to shiver less.
"I don't know," said OC-chan. She glanced over. "There is the bed…. It would be a lot warmer…."
The two took a long hard look at the bed.
"We'll sleep on top of the sheets. Not under them. Same as we were, rolled up in our own individual blankets."
"…..fine."
In the morning…..
Pit woke up to the sun shining through the windows. He blinked before realizing that the sun was failing to penetrate the ice and snow coated windows and they'd accidentally left the ceiling light on. How on earth had he slept through that?
He glanced over to OC-chan, who was stirring next to him. Pit tilted his head – something…. some sort of memory was trying to surface. But what was it?
"Ugh," muttered OC chan as her eyes fluttered open. Suddenly, it hit Pit, and he gasped.
"Wha…" said OC-chan before she gasped too.
"You,,,, my memories came back. You're my girlfriend, aren't you?" asked Pit.
"That's right! I've missed you," said OC-chan, with tears in her eyes.
"I've missed you too," said Pit.
OC-chan wrapped her arms around Pit, as he did the same. Blue orbs stared deeply into limpid heterochromic pools as they pressed their lips together, tongues battling for dominance.
Somewhere in author space….
Puph leaned back from his computer, sweating profusely and panting heavily.
"Man, how do people write this this stuff? Yeesh, this is exhausting…"
Suddenly the author ran out of romance inspiration! Being the clever and resourceful author he was, the author gave up on the scene and skipped to the next one!
At Smash Mansion…..
Lucario paused midway through his bite of breakfast.
"Mamma-a mia, what-a is-a it- a now?" asked Mario.
"You ever get the feeling that the author sucks at romance and he's slapping this chapter together by the skin of his teeth?" asked Lucario. "I dunno, I just get the feeling like he's run out of ideas but still has jokes he wants to add, but for some reason they're not romance related."
Mario raised an eyebrow. "That-a is-a pretty-a specific-a, Lucario."
"I mean, have you seen Puph's other fic? He spends like 5 minutes setting up a romance between two characters in Chapter 3 and 100K words later he still hasn't gotten back to the romance? Like I know he's got a lot of characters in his fic, but still, its almost like he forgot about it….."
"Mamma-a mia, Lucario, you-a need-a to-a focus-a on-a the-a task-a at-a hand-a! We-a gotta-a hurry-a and-a eat-a breakfast-a so-a we-a can-a go-a looking-a for-a Pit and-a OC-chan!"
Lucario sighed. "Right. Of course."
A few hours later….
Pit lay sprawled out in front of the fireplace reading the flamethrower manual. Next to him, OC-chan was snuggled up to his side, fiddling with her phone.
"I still don't have any reception," said OC-chan after some time.
"Well, according to this book, the flamethrower isn't gonna work for getting out of here. We probably don't have enough fuel to melt all the snow, and the fumes aren't good to be breathing in," said Pit.
"Hmm. I mean we have a lot of that Pocky stuff in the pantry, a working toilet and enough toilet paper to make a doomsday prepper jealous. We could theoretically stay here until the snow melts," said OC-chan.
Suddenly, there was an explosion outside the cabin. Pit and OC-chan jumped in surprise and scrambled to their feet.
"What was that!?" said Pit.
"Look! The snow around the windows melted!" said OC-chan. The two ran up to the window and pressed their faces up against it. They could see Fox, standing in the hatch of his Landmaster, which had a snowplow attached to the front. Mario and Lucario were riding on the sides of the tank.
"They came to dig us out!" said Pit excitedly. "Let's get out of here!"
The two rushed up to the door, but it wouldn't budge.
"It won't move!" said Pit.
"Hey-a! Can-a you-a hear-a us-a?" shouted Mario from the other side of the door.
"Yeah! We're here!" shouted OC-chan.
"Hold-a on-a for-a just-a a-a second!" shouted Mario. "'We're-a gonna-a bust-a you-a out!"
Pit and OC-chan waited with anticipation as Mario struggled with the door.
"Hey-a Lucario, can-a you-a help-a me-a here?"
"Yeah, let's see…." said Lucario. "Ok, on my go! 3, 2, 1, go!"
They heard a grunt and sounds of combined straining for a moment, before it quieted down again.
"Hey, I think can get the door open," said Fox. "But I'm going to need some help."
"Okie-a-dokie-a," said Mario. "What-a do-a you-a need-a us-a to-a do?"
"I need somebody to say 'this is madness'. Oh and OC-chan and Pit, step away from the door."
There was a moment of silence. Pit and OC-chan looked at each other, before shrugging and stepping out of the way.
"Umm-a…. sure-a….? said Mario with confusion. "This-a is-a madness-a!"
"Madness?" said Fox, his voice suddenly an octave lower. "THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAA!"
Suddenly, the door went flying off of its hinges. Pit and OC-chan jumped in surprise and looked through the door to see Fox standing there, having inexplicably sprouted a manly looking beard.
"Huh…. So that's the power of memes…." said Lucario in shock.
"Yeah! Pretty nifty, huh?" said Fox, as his beard poofed out of existence. "Let's get out of here! I'm getting cold!"
Pit and OC-chan followed Fox, Mario and Lucario back to the Landmaster, and climbed aboard the sides of the tank. They sat next to each other, and OC-chan slipped her hand into Pit's.
"You know? That didn't turn out so bad after all!" said OC-chan.
"Yeah! I'm glad it all worked out!" said Pit.
"Me too. I would have really hated to have dragged your frozen corpses down the mountainside back home," said Lucario. "Anyway, I was meaning to ask, how fast were you snowed in? I looked at the weather patterns and they seemed a little strange."
"Within like 30 seconds," said Pit. "It must have been one mammoth of a freak storm."
"Mammoth of a freak storm, huh?" said Lucario. "Sounds like the author is doing stuff again."
"Nah, couldn't have been! The author came and helped us start a fire!" said OC-chan.
"Wait, this is totally the author's doing! Hmm….." said Lucario as he began pondering this new information.
"But we made it! And with a very important person," said OC-chan, blushing.
Pit blushed back. "Yup! And it all turned out just fine!"
OC-chan nodded as she leaned in for a kiss. "Just fine indeed!"