The Anatomy of Love
Written By: Banana007
Chapter 35: The Dreams Left Behind
It was much easier to dream as a little girl.
That was what Sakura thought as she grew older and left behind imaginary friends in exchange for real ones, stuffed animals for lip gloss, and childhood fairytales for textbooks. It was much easier to dream when her mind was still innocent, unplagued and unfettered by the responsibilities she would come to inherit with age.
Most dreams she'd long forgotten by now. Some of the most fantastical stories ever conceived only to be forgotten in the blink of an eye.
But there were some dreams that had survived her childhood. Wisps of whimsical memories entailing castles in the skies, endless supplies of fruit parfaits, and puppies for playmates.
But the best dream Sakura ever had was one of her parents. It was also one of her most vivid dreams—so vivid that she truly believed her parents had returned home. She truly thought they were really sitting beside her, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up so they could make pancakes together. Pancakes so big and fluffy that she could hardly fit one in her mouth—just the way she liked it.
Sakura thought she was having that dream right now. Because even though she was barely lucid, caught on the edge of reality yet still in the thralls of a deep slumber, she could feel someone holding her hand just like in that dream she had before.
It wasn't her mother's hand. No, her mother's hand was slim and soft while this hand was large and masculine.
Was it Papa's?
No, it wasn't. This hand was particularly rough with calloused fingertips.
She wasn't entirely sure whose hand it was, but it was achingly familiar and so surreal. His touch was warm and tender too. So much so that Sakura would've mistaken this hand for her father's were it not for the distinct callouses.
Whoever was holding her hand, whether it was a dream or a real person, she wished they wouldn't let go. She wished they wouldn't leave her behind and all alone just as her parents had.
Don't let go, she thought in the haze of her dream. Please don't leave me.
The hand holding hers held on just a little tighter. As if the person was trying to say, 'It's all right. I'm here. And I'll always be here for y—'
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Sakura's eyes shot open and towards her bedroom door that continued to quake under Ino's pounding fist.
"FOREHEAD, WAKE UP!"
She winced at the sound of Ino's shouts digging into her ears like an icepick. With a groan, she grabbed a pillow and threw it over her face to block out the world and return to the land of dreams.
"I know you're awake in there! Now hurry up and get your ass out here! We have to go to the hospital—Naruto fucked up his leg!"
Hospital... Naruto... and leg... What?
Still groggy from sleep, it took a while for Sakura to process all that as she laid in bed a little longer.
BAM! BAM! BAM! "Forehead, if you're not out of there in ten, I am going to come in and drag you out!"
At Ino's threat, Sakura groaned louder but finally threw the pillow off her face. Out of instinct, she glanced at her hand that rested atop of the blanket. For some reason, she'd half-expected someone to be sitting by her side and still holding her hand exactly as she dreamt it. But, of course, there was nobody there.
That wasn't strange at all.
But what Sakura did find strange was the fact that she was... utterly naked.
Whipping the blanket back, she'd froze up in shock of her own nudity. It wasn't the first time she'd slept naked; in fact, she'd developed a habit of walking around and sleeping naked in her own house before starting college. But that was before college. That was before moving in with Ino who often liked to have Sai come over. Ever since college began, Sakura had stopped her nudist habits.
So she didn't remember crawling into bed in her birthday suit? She didn't remember stripping her clothes off—including her flower pasties—and folding everything neatly at the foot of her bed?
Most importantly, Sakura didn't remember coming home from the party at all. In fact, she had no recollection of how the night had ended for her. Maybe she was still dazed from waking up so abruptly, but every time she tried to remember what had happened last night, her mind pulled up blank.
Sitting up in bed now, she tried to retrace her steps from the very beginning.
I walked into the frat house... met Sasori... did some arm-wrestling and then danced with him... then I ditched him—wait, why did I do that again? Oh yeah, he was being a creep. So I headed to the rooftop for some fresh air and ran into Mei... ugh, poor girl was almost taken advantage of. I hope she's doing better now. Then what did I do next? I think I texted Ino in the bathroom before heading to the kitchen for a drink—wait, no, I punched a guy first.
She glanced down at the back of her hand, noting the redness of her knuckles. Her hand would be sore for the rest of the day if she didn't get it iced soon.
And then I drank some fruit punch and this guy came over and started talking to me...
While Sakura didn't remember the guy's plain face, she certainly remembered his white baseball cap that had shaded his eerie stare.
But what had happened after that? What had they even been talking about?
Again, her mind went blank, leaving Sakura more bewildered the more she tried. Soon her confusion twisted into worry and she finally climbed out of bed to survey her room.
There was nothing missing. Everything was in place exactly as she'd left it—including the tube of lip gloss she'd left on top of her desk.
She turned around to study herself in the mirror. Her eyes dragged up from her feet, scanning every inch of her body, front and back. There was no blood between her legs, nor any bruises on her hips or arms. It didn't hurt to walk and she didn't feel sore anywhere.
Truthfully? Sakura felt... amazing.
She felt as if she'd slept all night like a baby.
There was no evidence of foul play. The only thing she found unusual was the big, round, purple mark on the left side of her neck. It was close to the front column of her throat, discoloring the sensitive flesh like a nasty bruise. Or a... hickey.
BAM! BAM! BAM! "Sakura, I swear I am coming in there if you don't hurry up!" Ino shouted through the door.
Still staring at the bruise on her neck, Sakura laid her hand over it. Her first thought was to hide the hickey with color corrector, but for some reason her body wouldn't budge to get to her makeup kit. She couldn't understand why, but it was like her brain had been disconnected from her body. No matter how hard she tried to move to her makeup kit sitting atop the dresser, her body just refused to obey.
Seriously, what's wrong with me today?
Shaking her head, Sakura grabbed some clothes to throw on. She decided to adjust her hair to let it curtain over her left shoulder. If anyone looked at her too closely, they would surely notice the bruise peeking out, but it was better than nothing.
After swiping her keys, Sakura made for the door only to freeze in her tracks when one more thought crossed her mind.
You have to call Professor Hatake, a voice nagged her in the back of her mind.
The urge to do so had risen out of nowhere and it was so persistent that Sakura couldn't help but reach for the phone in her purse. She stopped herself just as she started to unlock it.
Hold on. Why do I need to call Professor Hatake?
Had she missed a homework assignment or something? Missed a point on the last pop quiz? Or maybe she had a question regarding the upcoming midterm exam?
But no amount of brainstorming gave Sakura the answers she sought. She had no idea why she so desperately felt the need to talk to him, but it continued to nag at her like an itch she couldn't scratch.
And that incessant urge itched when she brushed her hair free of knots. It itched when she rushed out of her room to meet with Ino, and it itched harder the further she wandered from her apartment. It was really driving her crazy!
On the way to the hospital, Ino gave her a brief rundown on Naruto's situation. Apparently, the numskull had fractured his ankle at some point during the party. How? They had no idea but this was Naruto they were talking about, and the knucklehead was prone to accidents.
While Ino rambled on, her words poured into one ear and out the other as Sakura was too busy trying to unscramble the pieces of last night. Her memory was fragmented for some reason, and the only evidence that something had happened was the hickey on her neck. But try as she might, she could not remember what exactly had happened following that conversation with that boy—that Touma, she recalled. But his name was only one piece she'd recovered among many more missing pieces she'd yet to gather.
So she was talking with Touma, but what then? How could she go from talking to a boy at a party to waking up naked in her bed with only a hickey as proof of foul play?
Could it be... had her drink been spiked?
Her stomach twisted at the notion.
But people only spike drinks for the purpose of sexual assault or kidnapping, right? So if my drink was spiked, then why am I completely fine? Why do I feel well-rested instead?
"It doesn't make sense," Sakura muttered to herself.
"It's Naruto—of course it makes sense that he would get himself hurt somehow and in the most ridiculous way," Ino snorted, completely oblivious to her friend's own dilemma. "Oh! Before I forget..." she rummaged through her purse before procuring Sakura's phone to hand over to her. "You left your phone behind at the party. Some frat boy named Omoi was the one who found it."
"Oh, it... It must've fallen out of the waistband of my skirt," Sakura tried to explain as she studied the black screen sticky with fingerprints for some reason.
Her skirt didn't have any pockets, so she remembered tucking the phone into her waistband instead. Had it really fallen out though? She hadn't even been tipsy, so wouldn't she have felt her phone slip and fall to the floor? Even if she hadn't felt her phone fall out, she would have never gone to bed without knowing for sure that she had all her belongings.
It seemed the more pieces of the puzzle Sakura received, the less she understood and the more she was confused.
"When did you last see me?" Sakura asked her friend.
Ino was too distracted with texting Hinata to notice Sakura's disorientation and worry. With a shrug, she said, "You came to me and explained what happened with Sasori. Then you said you were going to go home. At first, I didn't want you to go in case you weren't feeling well or something, but you weren't drunk or even tipsy. You seemed completely fine, so I let you go... You don't remember?" Ino finally looked away from her phone to meet Sakura's blank stare.
"I... remember talking to a guy," Sakura spoke slowly, still discombobulated by everything. "Well, I wasn't really talking to him. I think I was trying to get him to bug off."
Frowning now, Ino shook her head. "You were by yourself when you told me you were going to head home. I started to get a little worried, so I headed home an hour after to check up on you. You were already tucked in bed and sleeping like a babe—even drooling a little. I hadn't realized you were that exhausted..."
Exhaustion... Was that the cause for the blank pieces of her memory? Had she been so exhausted that she'd just blanked out for the rest of the night and returned home like a zombie?
"I... I must've been more tired than I thought," Sakura nodded half-heartedly. "All that studying and dancing knocked me out, I guess."
Wrong! She knew exhaustion had nothing to do with her amnesia because it still couldn't explain the massive hickey on her neck!
But not wanting Ino to freak out and call her father over to investigate the matter—or worse, feel guilty for letting Sakura go home alone—Sakura chose not to voice her concerns.
"Sorry to hear about Sasori by the way. I thought with his good looks that he'd have a good personality too, but I guess you can't have the whole package," Ino lamented with a sigh.
"I just wasn't into him," Sakura shrugged. "No chemistry."
Which was pitifully ironic considering the guy was a chemistry major.
Ino hummed and tilted her head to smirk at Sakura. "Looks like he was really into you though. I'm guessing he's the one who gave you that hickey?" she gestured to her own neck.
Sakura's hand flew up to clap over her bruise, wincing slightly from the soreness. "I-I guess."
But she didn't remember being that intimate with Sasori. She swore his lips had only skimmed her throat for a second, but there hadn't been any kissing. No, she'd shoved him away before they could reach that point.
Ino laughed incredulously. "You guess? You don't sound so sure. Are you at least sure that you didn't make out with him at any point though? 'Cause your lips look crazy bruised like you had the most passionate kiss of your life last night," she giggled, pointing to her mouth.
Sakura tried to keep her expression neutral even as she fought the panic welling up in her gut. "Of course I didn't kiss anyone. I probably got hit and didn't know it." When Ino shot her a confused look, she sighed and explained, "I kinda got into a fight after I left Sasori. It was some idiot who called me Barbie and other stupid names."
"But Barbie's a blonde?"
"That's what I said! And he was grinding on my ass so I punched him in the face!"
"Wait, you punched him in the face?!" Ino whirled around to grab Sakura by the shoulders, her disappointment clear as day. "What the hell were you thinking?!"
"But—"
"You should've punched him in the dick!" Ino scolded her, flailing her fists around as if she was now ready to go to war instead of the hospital. "That way he can't reproduce anymore idiots like himself. Also, you should've called me over to back you up—we could've both ripped that asshole a new one!"
For the first time since waking up this morning, Sakura felt a smile tug at her lips. Since primary school, Ino had always been like that—ready to jump and whoop the ass of anyone who dared to cross her friends. And she always made good on her threats too.
Oh, Pig. Don't ever change, Sakura smiled fondly.
She gave her best friend a pat on the shoulder and assured her that they could do it next time.
.
.
.
This early in the morning, the hospital was already abuzz with staff rushing to welcome in new patients and families crowding the hallways with 'get well soon' balloons and cards. Naruto's room was already filled with balloons and cards from his frat brothers by the time Sakura and Ino got there.
With Tenten busy at work, Hinata had all the private time she needed to take care of her boyfriend. As it was now, she was fluffing up his pillows while he sat up on bed trying to reassure her that he was completely fine despite his fractured ankle and sprained wrist.
Apparently, while racing against Lee in a keg stand competition, he had overestimated his drinking limit and slipped, leaving Lee the drunken winner of the two.
Arranging the flower vases crowding the room, Sakura watched Hinata and Naruto from the corner of her eye. The young couple, so in love with each other, hardly noticed their little audience as Hinata tucked the blanket around Naruto and brushed the hair from his eyes while he gazed adoringly at his own goddess.
The sight of them so affectionate with each other somehow made Sakura's heart ache. It hadn't been too long ago that she'd been in a similar position, wrapping Kakashi in a blanket burrito and caring for him because he was too much of a blockhead to do it himself.
The more she observed the lovebirds' PDA, the more Sakura's heartstrings twanged with pain as she imagined herself and Kakashi instead. Eventually, she had to tear her eyes away.
"Hey, Sakura," Naruto called to her. "I heard about Sasori. Does this mean you're not into him?"
Ino shot him a warning look to shut up which he cringed under. The question had already been thrown though, and now the ball was in Sakura's court.
Still distracting herself with a daffodil, she sucked in a deep breath. "Nope! …. Why? Did he say something after?"
Not that she cared what he thought, but Sasori was a senior frat member. Which meant he held a lot of influence in the school's social circles. Just by word of mouth, he could tarnish her reputation for the rest of her college years.
Crap, why hadn't she thought of that before shoving him away?!
Naruto scratched his head thoughtfully. "I dunno. I heard he just disappeared after you left. Neji was surprised he even bothered to join in on the party at all. He said Sasori usually prefers to participate in the frat behind the scenes instead."
"I guess he wanted to have some fun first before going to med school," Sakura muttered. Ugh, she knew it! She knew a senior would never be that interested in a freshman girl who hardly had anything going for herself!
With her back turned, Naruto missed the sour face she made as he said teasingly, "I'll say! Looks like he had a lot of fun with you too!"
Sakura whipped around to see what he meant by that. Catching the gesture he made, her jaw dropped and her hand flew to her neck again to cover up the hickey.
Ino was already looking on like a proud mama while Hinata just stared at where Sakura's hand remained. Hearing Naruto start to snicker, her face flooded with embarrassment and Sakura stuttered for an excuse. A reason for why the bruise on her neck was anything but a hickey.
But without knowing what had actually happened, she floundered, and that only seemed to encourage everyone's assumptions.
Face flaming red now, Sakura quietly excused herself from the room, claiming that she was going to get some water. The moment the door closed behind her, she knew Ino was already speculating to the others what might've happened last night. If only they knew that even Sakura had no clue either.
With a sigh, she trekked past the nurse's station in search of a vending machine to score a cold-brew coffee from. Although she wasn't so groggy anymore, she was still tempted to return to bed and curl up under the blanket, imagining that hand holding hers again.
She glanced down at her hand while walking, trying to remember the sensation of that rough palm and calloused fingers against her soft skin—trying to remember who that hand might belong to.
Naruto? Ew, no way! Why would she dream of holding hands with that dolt?
Kiba? Nah, she hadn't held hands with him since their required partner dance in primary school.
Lee? You've gotta be kidding me.
Then maybe...
"Mr. Hatake, it's been a while!"
She raised her head just in time to glimpse a flash of silver white hair that disappeared around the corner at the end of the hall. A gaggle of nurses stared after, smiling and giggling behind their clipboards.
Without thinking, Sakura walked faster. As she neared the nurses, she heard one of them mention to their colleagues how he had finally returned for a visit. How he must've missed her too much to stay away for too long. One of the nurses even proposed to comfort him after her shift, to which Sakura curled her lip in disgust.
Upon reaching the corner, she turned her cheek to follow their stare and witness Kakashi disappear past a set of double doors and slip into a room at the very end.
This time, it was both out of instinct and the return of that incessant itch that prompted Sakura to trail after him. She noted that this area of the hospital was particularly quiet compared to where Naruto was, and the hall was less crowded with staff too. She must've entered the space for patients hosted in private rooms.
She crept along the wall, tiptoeing her way to the door Kakashi had slunk past.
The door was already shut when she approached it. Strangely enough, there was a keypad with a card swiper attached to the door handle, ensuring that not just anyone could waltz right in. Only someone who knew the passcode or had a badge could enter.
Interesting. What kind of patient could require a private room with such high security?
Sakura searched the door and the threshold for a name placard—anything to identify the patient holed up inside, but there was no such thing.
There was a window though. Small and so narrow that it was hardly wider than her hand.
After a quick gander around the hall to make sure no one was eyeing her, she dared a peek through the window. The first thing she spotted was Kakashi's back. Much to her surprise, he was still dressed in last night's clothes—black shirt and shorts, even his sneakers.
Sakura frowned. Did he not come home at all last night? Don't tell me he was jogging the entire evening?
With a tilt of her head to adjust her angle, she followed Kakashi who'd shifted aside to finish watering a vase of white lilies. He shuffled over to the bed and reached over to adjust the blanket over the person laying down. Sakura couldn't quite see who the patient in the bed was—the window didn't exactly offer her the best of view.
She could trace the outline of the figure's slim feet and legs beneath the blanket. However, any view of the patient's face was obscured by Kakashi who stood beside the bed to watch him... or her. Sakura frowned, perplexed as to why he was just standing as still as a statue and not uttering a single word or even a hello. She wondered—
"Can I help you?"
Caught like a criminal, Sakura twisted around and crashed face-first into the greatest pair of breasts she would ever encounter in her life. They jiggled aggressively as she rubbed her nose and took a step back from the woman in the white coat towering before her with both arms crossed and a blood-red polished nail tapping impatiently against an arm.
A doctor. Oh, crap.
Honey-brown eyes stared Sakura down although there was hardly anything sweet or nice about the woman's gaze. And yet, there was something awfully familiar about this woman that Sakura couldn't put a finger on. At least not while panicking.
She continued to scowl at Sakura as if waiting for some bullshit that she certainly had no time or day for. Or rather, as if she was waiting to slap that bullshit out of Sakura.
"Well?" the doctor snapped out, her patience clearly running thin already.
"I-I-I was visiting a friend," Sakura hurried to explain. "And I... got lost."
Great excuse, Sakura! Might as well just say you're a directionally challenged idiot!
The woman's honeyed gaze darkened as she squinted at Sakura, eyeing her like she really was an idiot. But then she made a small sigh and uncrossed her arms. "What room are you looking for?"
Sakura herself released a sigh of relief and described Naruto's room, hoping her little dilemma would be enough to distract the doctor from the fact that Sakura had been snooping around a patient's private room.
"You're a bit of a ways off," the doctor replied, the harshness of her austere tone softening now. She pointed past Sakura's shoulder, in the direction of where she'd followed Kakashi. "Down the hall, one right, and then a left."
Sakura hardly had the time to utter a word of thanks before the bosomy doctor swept past to swipe her card and join Kakashi in the room. The door fell shut and automatically locked itself, muffling the woman's words so that Sakura couldn't hear what the doctor was saying to Kakashi. She could only hear the woman's vexation and even a hint of dismay. All of which was directed at Kakashi who merely continued to stand there, taking the verbal onslaught in depressed silence.
Peeking through the little window again, Sakura watched the doctor's glower darken the more she talked and the longer Kakashi said nothing.
Her curiosity grew as she watched the tense interaction, so she couldn't help but press an ear to the door. It was still difficult to make sense of the conversation within, but a few seconds later the woman's heels click-clacked loudly as she shifted elsewhere.
"Admit it, Kakashi," the woman spoke, her words somewhat discernible now that she was closer to the door. "This is really just about your revenge again, isn't it?"
Sakura frowned. Revenge?
There was silence from Kakashi's end, and then the woman scoffed. "If you want to return to Sound and get yourself killed then be my guest. Otherwise, you stay here and you let the past go. Stop focusing on the dead and start focusing on the living. Enough of this Akatsuki business."
This was obviously a private moment between the two, and Sakura knew this was not something she should be witnessing. The right thing to do would be to walk away right now and leave both adults to hash out whatever business had soured between them.
But of course, Sakura stayed rooted to the spot, unable to look away from the drama unfolding before her.
She could not see Kakashi's face, but she could see how his shoulders were drawn inward for a heavy slouch. His hands were hidden deep in his pockets too. By these telltale signs, Sakura knew that whatever the doctor was telling Kakashi, it was deeply affecting him. Whatever mask he'd put on now to disguise the pain in his heart, the doctor was oblivious to it as she continued wagging her finger sternly.
Sakura wished she could just barge in there and tell the doctor to leave Kakashi alone. That, whatever had happened, it wasn't his fault.
Before she could even begin to entertain that idea, Kakashi abruptly spun on his feet and headed for the door.
Ducking away from the window, Sakura hurriedly stumbled back to get away from the door. She looked up and down the hall as panic rose within, clouding her judgment so that she forgot which direction Tsunade had pointed to.
She said 'down' but technically down can mean either way, so... Oh wait, it's that way!
After a quick facepalm, she began to speed walk back the way she came from. She'd barely taken a few steps when the sound of a door latch clicked open.
"Sakura...?"
She froze in her tracks at the sound of her name on his lips.
Closing her eyes, she briefly rebuked herself for getting caught. Again.
Slowly, Sakura turned around and tried for an innocent 'what-a-coincidence!' laugh. It came out stilted instead, marking her guilt like a big red flag.
"Professor Hatake! What a... coincidence..." her laughter died out as soon as she noticed his disheveled look. Awkwardness gave way to worry as she took note of the dark circles under his eyes—those same eyes that blinked owlishly at her for a long moment.
"I didn't expect to see you here?" Kakashi mumbled. He lifted a hand to rub at his scarred eye as if to make sure that she wasn't a figment of his imagination or a dream. "Is something wrong? Are you all right?"
"Yes—I mean no!" Sakura sputtered, still gathering her own bearings. "I mean yes, I'm all right. And no, nothing is wrong. I was just visiting a friend of mine: Naruto. He came here after breaking his arm."
Kakashi nodded slowly, wearily. "But are you sure you're all right? I was planning to contact you after this to check in and... apologize for my aggressiveness."
"Contact me? About what?"
"Last night."
"Last night?" She blinked at him. "You mean the party? Oh, it went fine. For the most part, I think."
Remembering the hickey on her neck, Sakura tried to casually tilt her head and let her hair fall over the bruise to hide it. She didn't want Kakashi to see it and misunderstand.
But Kakashi hadn't noticed the hickey as he seemed to still be digesting her words with some difficulty.
"Fine...?" he echoed her, looking a little lost like she'd spoken in a different language.
Sakura shrugged. "Yeah, I think I left a little early and went straight to bed. It's okay, I didn't touch any alcohol. And..." she glanced both ways before lowering her voice, "you don't have to worry about my date. We didn't exactly have any chemistry..."
She thought that would help ease his concerns and wipe away the worry line between his brows, but Kakashi only stared at her in full-blown panic now.
"You... don't remember?" he asked, but it sounded more like a statement.
Sakura tilted her head, confused now and just as lost as him. "Remember what?"
Remember how they'd flirted together in the shadows of the night? How she'd taken his hand and held it to her breast to show that she had no bra on? How he'd choked up at the idea of her wearing a black lace thong? Of course she remembered all of that.
But Kakashi's face fell at her question. "Last night, we... I..."
He seemed at a loss for words, too devastated for some reason. The way his shoulders drooped and he cast his gaze down to his feet, Kakashi acted like a kicked-down puppy and she was the perpetrator.
"Mr. Hatake? Are you all right?" Sakura took a step closer as her worries grew.
He nodded slowly as if he was accepting defeat. "Yes, I'm... fine."
So he says but he doesn't sound like it, Sakura frowned to herself.
Her frown deepened when she finally caught sight of the knuckles of his hands. The knuckles were swollen while the skin was torn up and scabbing over like he'd the whole night punching a brick wall.
"You are not fine!" Sakura chided him and pointed to what she meant. "What happened to your hands?! Don't tell me you went boxing last night without gloves again? Seriously, how many times do I have to tell you to be more careful?!"
He called her reckless, but talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Honestly, it infuriated Sakura how Kakashi could be so negligent of his own health!
Sensing her anger rise, Kakashi clamped a hand across the back of his neck and let out an awkward chuckle meant to disarm her. "Oh, I... just tripped during my jog. It was a bit of a nasty fall."
She knew him well enough now to know when he was lying (most of the time). So Sakura crossed her arms and stared him down (technically up), waiting for him to tell her the truth because she was not going to just nod her head to his bullshit and say nothing.
It only took a few seconds before Kakashi yielded to their little staring contest with a defeated sigh. But before he could admit to her the truth, the sharp 'click' of the door beside them interrupted their moment.
"Kakashi—oh..." The beautiful doctor from earlier paused at the threshold of the private room, surprised to see Sakura standing just outside. She gave Sakura a small frown. "You're still here?"
Sakura's mouth flapped open for an excuse, but her eyes flitted past the doctor's shoulder and to the patient laying in the bed. She was only afforded a split-second look at the person before the doctor stepped forward and pulled the door shut. The latch clicked aloud and the numbers on the keypad lit up with a sharp 'beeep!' to signal that the room was securely locked.
"I thought I gave you the directions to your friend's room," the doctor said, crossing her arms similarly to Sakura who quickly uncrossed her own arms. "Was I not clear enough?"
"Tsunade," Kakashi stepped in, saving Sakura's ass from the woman's death glare. "I was just speaking with Miss Haruno."
Tsunade...? Her jaw fell open and Sakura nearly screamed aloud. Suddenly she realized why this woman looked so familiar to her. She'd seen this woman before in multiple science journals and across magazines that celebrated the achievements of women in science!
Doctor Tsunade tipped a brow at Kakashi. "You know this girl?"
I can't believe this is happening! Sakura internally screamed. THE Doctor Tsunade! And she's standing right in front of me!
"Yes," Kakashi nodded, glancing at Sakura who swayed briefly on her feet. "She's my... student."
"Oh, the star pupil you mentioned? Haruno Sakura, is that right?"
Sakura blushed upon realizing that Kakashi had not only mentioned her name but also praised her in the presence of someone of such high-esteem. She wanted to pinch herself, wondering if this was a dream.
"Miss Haruno," Kakashi looked to Sakura and gestured to his colleague beside him. "This is Tsunade, the director of this hospital and a friend of mine."
And one of—if not THE greatest medical doctor in the world! Sakura wanted to add.
On cue, Doctor Tsunade offered her hand to Sakura who shook it vigorously (she never wanted to wash her hand again). "You're Doctor Tsunade," Sakura breathed out, feeling faint from the excitement. "Oh, I love your work in stem cell research."
"Oh? Are you a pre-med student?" Doctor Tsunade asked, frowning down at the hand still shaking hers.
Sakura drew back her hand and tucked aside a lock of hair to compose herself. "Um, no. I just happened to read some of your articles and published research while researching some stuff for homework one day. I-I read your paper on therapeutic intervention for platelet-mediated thrombosis. And also your research on metacognitive awareness."
The latter seemed to impress Tsunade as her frown was replaced by a small smile lined with pink lipstick. "You read my study on metacognition? Most people overlook that one. My colleagues thought it to be irrelevant and... gratuitous," she said sourly.
Sakura quickly shook her head. "I think metacognitive knowledge and regulation are the most fundamental skills for any aspiring doctor or scientist. In fact, I would suggest more science courses implement this in their curriculum so that the youth can understand that they don't need to come from any place of privilege or be born geniuses to become a doctor or scientist."
Again, those lipstick-lined lips twitched into a wider smile as Doctor Tsunade nodded in approval and even intrigue.
"Haruno Sakura, was it?" Doctor Tsunade asked.
Sakura nodded, keeping her mouth clamped shut out of fear that she would continue gushing like a rabid fangirl.
"She's a fan of science," Kakashi saved her with a warm chuckle.
"You're sure you have no interest in a career of science yourself?" Doctor Tsunade pressed her.
"I... don't know," Sakura admitted. "I'm undeclared."
A mix of shame and embarrassment began to churn in her gut, washing away all feelings of excitement. She wished she could say that she had her life together and knew exactly what degree she wanted to earn and what her dream occupation was. But how could she think of a future like that when she still had her arranged marriage to panic over? If she were to marry Sasuke, what would happen to her college plans then? Would she have to go on break to follow her new husband on his business trips? Sakura had no idea.
"She's still young and only just began college, Tsunade," Kakashi cut in to save her again. "Plenty of young people enter college still unsure of what they want to be. Miss Haruno is taking the time to focus on her general education at the moment. This will also give her extra time to consider what major to take so that she won't be switching majors around like half of her peers do."
Sakura flashed Kakashi a grateful smile although she wished she could smack a kiss on his cheek instead.
Tsunade seemed to accept his response but still gave Sakura an appraising look. "Shame you aren't pre-med. I could use someone of your aptitude and open-mindedness."
Sakura's gut soured again as she caught that note of disappointment in Tsunade's words. She tried to fight it off with a wry smile even though Tsunade's own smile had since disappeared.
"So what was that thing you needed to tell me?" Kakashi asked his colleague, switching away from the topic.
"Oh, right." Tsunade opened her mouth to speak to Kakashi but then paused and turned back to Sakura who remained standing there. "Did you still need help finding your way back?"
Realizing that this was her cue to leave, Sakura started to backpedal. "N-No, I'm good! It was nice meeting you, Doctor Tsunade. And I'll see you on Monday, Professor Hatake."
And please take better care of your hands, she told him with a pointed look.
Kakashi took a step towards her. "So you won't be attending the charity ball then?"
Sakura froze. "The what?"
"The charity ball. I'm supposed to supervise—" he was cut off by a look of ire from Tsunade who'd begun tapping her foot impatiently. Kakashi crinkled his eyes at Sakura and waved his hand instead. "Well, I'll see you Monday then. Have a good weekend, Miss Haruno."
She barely had time to wave back before Doctor Tsunade pulled Kakashi's attention away with a mere hand on her hip.
But Sakura had already caught onto Kakashi's little invitation. A charity ball? She wasn't sure when or where that would be but something told her that she may find some answers there along with her professor. At least a clue as to what had happened last night. Maybe also an answer as to the identity of that brunette she'd glimpsed in the room.
Although her mousy brown hair was not a striking color, there was something vaguely familiar about that woman. Like Sakura had seen her before in a memory or in a... picture.
She gasped as everything clicked together.
Yes, she had seen that woman before! In the photo on top of Kakashi's nightstand! Her name was—
"Oof!" she bumped into another massive bosom around the corner but stumbled back more so in surprise of Hinata before her. "Hinata? Why are you here?"
"You were taking a while to return, so I went looking for you," the sweet girl spoke softly. Beneath dark bangs, her pale gaze swept past Sakura's shoulder. "Is that Professor Hatake?"
"Huh?" Sakura peered back to find Kakashi at the end of the hall, walking away with Doctor Tsunade. "O-Oh, yeah! It seems he was visiting a friend too."
"How sweet of him."
Knowing he could be far sweeter than that, Sakura bit back a fond smile. "Yeah, he's a really sweet guy once you get to know him better!"
Hinata eyed Sakura for a moment, studying the light blush dusting her face. "I see," she eventually said, smiling gently in return.
Feeling more flustered under her friend's observant stare, Sakura took Hinata's hand and hauled her back to Naruto's room.
The room was one person more crowded by the time they returned—and it was also more boisterous too. At some point in Sakura's absence, Sai had come by to visit his injured friend with a basket of apples. One of the apples had been peeled and sliced, and now one of those slices was held aloft above Sai's head with Naruto using his one good hand to fight him off.
Ino sat on a chair in the corner, munching away at an apple and watching Sai try to handfeed Naruto. Despite his sincerity, the whole scene looked like Sai was trying to shove the apple slice down Naruto's throat and choke the poor patient to death.
"I heard there's a charity ball event this weekend?" Sakura cautiously asked Ino. Hinata gave her an odd look as if wondering where in a hospital of all places Sakura might've heard this morsel of info.
Ino didn't think anything of it as she was too occupied watching the boys' antics at the moment. She took another bite of her apple and nodded distractedly. "Konoha U hosts a charity ball every month, remember? They explained this in Orientation class."
"Ah, of course..." Yeah, of course she wouldn't remember that! While Sakura liked Professor Iruka enough, his Orientation class was the one class she hardly paid attention in.
Seeing right through her, Ino rolled her eyes and set down her apple. "It's more like a fundraiser. You pay for a ticket to attend, and then your ticket gets entered into a raffle. All the proceeds of the event go to a charity or non-profit of the raffle winner's pick. But really everyone just attends to dance and hook up with each other."
Was that why Kakashi assumed she would attend the ball? He thought she already had another hot date lined up for her? If so, was that why he decided to attend the event as a supervisor? After all, he seemed more like the kind of guy who would prefer to get cozy in bed with a porn book on his lap rather than watch young people fool around and get handsy on the dance floor.
"Why didn't you tell me about this event?" Sakura nagged Ino.
"I did! I even asked you the other week if you wanted to go but you would just grunt every time, so I took that as a no."
Sakura winced at that. She'd spent the better part of that week acting cranky over Kakashi. So much so that she'd neglected her friends, ignoring them in favor of moping over her doomed love life. When was the last time she'd really had a girl's night out with them?
"Let's all go!" she suggested.
Ino grinned eagerly at Sai but Hinata smiled apologetically beside Naruto. "I think the both of us will just stay in," Hinata said. "With Naruto's condition, I want to be there to help him."
Naruto tried to protest around a mouthful of apple while Sakura tried to hide her disappointment with an understanding nod. They weren't little girls anymore who could just hop over for a playdate any time after school. They were young ladies now with more and more responsibilities piling on their shoulders every day. And some of those responsibilities involved dividing time between different people and respecting each other's time.
"And Tenten?" Sakura inquired the girls.
"Guy roped her and Neji into helping to organize the event," Ino answered. "So she won't be on the dance floor with us, but you still got me and Sai!"
"I promise not to step on your foot," Sai smiled at Sakura, although she wasn't so inclined to trust him to keep that promise.
The way Naruto frantically shook his head at her from behind Sai told her as much.
"Wait, are you sure about this, Sakura?" Hinata spoke up, stepping forward with her hands laced anxiously together. "After what happened with your blind date—"
Sakura was already waving off her friend's concerns. "Nothing happened! So that's exactly why I should attend this charity ball! What better way to get over a bad date than to shake it off?"
"And maybe we'll find her a cute dance partner," Ino backed Sakura up with a wink.
Kakashi's face popped up in her mind and Sakura chuckled nervously. "Y-Yeah! I might have better luck finding Mr. Right there!"
Ino slapped her proudly on the back. "That's the spirit, Sakura! A ball is the perfect place to find your Prince Charming!"
The girls continued to rave on about what dresses to wear and what hairstyles to do for something as extravagant as a ball. That would be a bit of a challenge considering none of them had any dresses that met the criteria. Most of the dresses they owned were a bit too... inappropriate for an occasion that called for more class.
As Sakura brainstormed ideas with Ino, she didn't notice the way Hinata continued to observe her quietly from the corner. Although the young Hyūga didn't speak her mind as often as her friends did, she possessed a dangerously keen intellect. Accompanied by her sharp eyes, very few things went by her unnoticed.
Like the light blush that remained warm on the apples of Sakura's cheeks as the girl listened to Ino rave on about all the cute boys she could dance with.
Hinata noticed it well.
The stool creaked aloud as Kakashi sat back down at his usual spot beside the bed. His ears were still ringing from the earful that Tsunade had given him, but now the still silence of the room already felt stifling.
Across from him, the mechanical ventilator continued to hiss and Kakashi took a moment to listen to the sound repeat again and again. It would've been calming to listen to were it not a reminder for Rin's grave condition.
He lifted his eyes to her pale face. Her lips were a little chapped and a sliver of guilt twisted in Kakashi's gut. It'd been a while since his last visit; he'd been so occupied with Sakura lately that he'd become negligent of other matters.
He thought of apologizing to Rin for his lengthy absence, but the word just wouldn't come out. How many times had he said 'sorry' to her in this very room, in this very seat? Too many times that he'd lost count now, and none of it had changed a thing.
The guilt sat heavy in Kakashi's stomach now, like a rock that kept him pinned down to his chair. The minutes passed as he remained sitting in the desolate quietude. Only the 'hisss' of the ventilator and the discordant 'beep' of the other life support equipment kept him company. Especially when the one other person in the room with him couldn't make any noise herself. Kakashi couldn't even remember Rin's voice anymore. Any recordings of her had been left on his cameras, the cards left untouched.
Obito would be rolling in his grave if he knew that Kakashi had given up his photography hobby since getting discharged from the military. They'd left some of their best memories on his camera after all, both on and off the field.
One such memory popped in his head now and Kakashi smiled faintly upon recalling how Obito had thought he'd been shot in the ass and hopped around his post in a panic. He still had the image of Obito's naked dumbass bared for all the troops to see just to make sure no bullet—
The door behind him suddenly beeped and clicked open.
Kakashi stiffened and checked over his shoulder, half-expecting to see Tsunade preparing to kick him out of the room since visiting hours had ended.
Instead, Shizune blinked back at him, surprised to see him just as he was surprised to see her. She'd exchanged her scrubs for a pair of comfy sweats and a hairbrush that smacked the side of her head when she abruptly stood to attention and saluted him. "Commander Hatake!"
"At ease, sol—I mean, it's fine Shizune. You know you don't have to address me like that anymore," Kakashi told her. Inwardly, he scolded himself for his own little slip up.
Shizune relaxed her stance with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, sir. Old habits die hard."
Tell me about it.
He crinkled his eyes at her. "It's been a long while."
A very long while since Nawaki's and Dan's funerals.
"How have you been?" Kakashi asked her before he could fall into that pit of trauma.
"Better," Shizune nodded, fiddling with the hairbrush she still gripped. "I mean, delivering babies is still hard work but it... it makes me feel like I'm making a real difference this time."
Kakashi nodded slowly. It was probably more rewarding, delivering life into the world rather than watching it leave.
He glanced at the brush in her hand and gestured to it. "You're going to brush her hair?"
"Yes! I thought it'd be therapeutic!" Shizune smiled warmly at Rin's sleeping face. "Hair care and skincare are also ways of taking care of our health, you know!"
No, he didn't, but he nodded in gratitude anyway.
"I still talk to her sometimes," Shizune said after situating herself on a chair of her own beside Rin. "It's been scientifically proven that verbal communication, especially from loved ones, stimulates the patient's brain so that..." She stopped, her smile fading away and jaw dropping in horror of what she'd just said. "I... I'm so sorry, Kakashi! I didn't mean—"
"No, I understand," Kakashi said, giving her a crinkle-eyed smile. "It's fine."
But when he swallowed, it felt like a needle sliding down his throat.
Shizune pressed her lips together and continued on to brush Rin's hair. The silence took over again, depressing as always as if the very air of the room had been sucked out.
Kakashi spent the next half hour watching Shizune tediously work out every knot in Rin's hair—even the tiniest ones that had to be untangled by her bare fingers. Finally, when she finished, she stood up from her seat and squeezed Kakashi's shoulder on the way out.
But Kakashi had dared not look at her face as she left. He couldn't bear to see any more looks of pity cast his way. He did not want anyone's pity. He did not deserve their pity. No guilty man did.
As he sat there, he thought about what Shizune had said. For a woman of science, she'd always been a believer in miracles too, unlike Tsunade who possessed more pragmatic values. And unlike Tsunade, Shizune believed that miracles could happen for comatose patients if you kept talking to them as if they were alive and conscious.
While there were some cases that proved the theory held some water, Kakashi knew this was no such case. In fact, he'd given up on talking to Rin after the first year yielded no sign of improvement.
Even Tsunade had long since given up hope.
'Existence in a persistent vegetative state is not a benefit to the patient,' she'd lectured him shortly before he'd run into Sakura who had momentarily distracted him from the problem at hand.
And there were so many problems now. Too many for him to juggle alone.
One of those problems now included the boys from last night.
He peered down at his sore knuckles, rubbing at one of the fresh scabs and imagining Sakura was touching him, reassuring him with just a touch that it was going to be all right.
"Tsunade is wrong," Kakashi rasped out, raising his attention back to Rin. "It's not about revenge and I'm not planning to return to Sound. Not anymore. What the Akatsuki did to us back then... I can get past that. What matters now are the people I care about. And if the Akatsuki are up to no good again and Sakura gets involved then of course I have to do something about it. I have to protect her... I can't fail her like I failed you and Obito."
He squeezed his hand into a fist, remembering the exact words he'd told Obito on their last mission together. The oath he'd sworn to his brother-in-arms and future brother-in-law to keep Rin safe.
And he'd broken that oath.
"But I promise, it's not about revenge this time," Kakashi whispered to Rin. "The Akatsuki, the Sharingan, and that crazy Jashin cult—it's not about any of them. It's about protecting what's important to me."
Which is why he did what he did last night. It had all been for Sakura and, in some way, even for Rin.
"Sakura's... a lot like you, y'know," Kakashi added. He managed a weak smile at the thought of Sakura getting along so well with Rin—maybe too well. They'd be double the trouble. "She's always taking care of me even when I don't deserve her compassion. Too smart for her own good, but also too good of a person that she attracts the worst kind of people. And she's a lot like Obito too; so earnest and stubborn that she just doesn't know when to quit."
He let out a chuckle upon remembering the way she'd wrestled him onto bed and restrained him with a mere blanket. That kind of tenacity would certainly earn Rin's stamp of approval as well as Obito's.
"She reminds me of all the good times of the past with you guys, and the hopes of a better future," Kakashi said softly as he studied his scarred hands. "Sakura's special like that. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that she's my... student," he whispered his little confession, watching Rin's face closely for any reaction to his spilled secret.
There was nothing.
"If you were awake, you'd slap me, wouldn't you?" Kakashi pressed her. "And if Obito was here, he'd call me a closet pervert or cradle robber—probably both."
Rin's eyes remained shut, unresponsive to his accusation. There wasn't even so much as a twitch of her finger. No matter how much he talked to her or squeezed her hand, she never did anything in return. Never gave him a single sign of life.
So maybe that was why Kakashi felt it was a tad easier to confess his crimes to Rin.
Maybe that was why he scrubbed a hand down his face and sucked in a breath to say, "I don't know which is worse: that I crossed the line and kissed Sakura... or that she doesn't even remember it."
As expected, Rin remained silent and still to his confession.
Kakashi sighed and buried his face in his hands.
Shizune was wrong; there would be no miracle recovery. Rin would never wake up. She would never be able to walk down the aisle let alone tell Kakashi off for his inappropriate relationship with Sakura.
No, the only time Kakashi would ever be able to speak with Rin again would only be in his dreams.
And it was much easier to dream when there was blood on his hands.
Last night – Saturday, 1:03 AM
His shirt was soaked through with sweat beneath his jacket. This late in the night, Kakashi had lost count of how many miles he'd run by now. Over and over again, he'd kept sprinting in circles around the neighborhood, listening to the music of frat row echo into the night.
At first, he'd gone home shortly after parting ways with Sakura. He'd wandered around the house aimlessly for a while before grabbing a jacket and sneakers to go on another run. Even though he obviously couldn't sneak into any of the frat houses, he was compelled to keep jogging around the neighborhood in case he could catch a glimpse of Sakura. Make sure she and her friends were all right and got home safe.
But after countless miles into his steps and an ache in his knees, Kakashi slowed to a stop.
There it was again. His paranoia was rising and causing him unnecessary anxiety.
She'll be fine, Kakashi told himself over and over to ease the concern twisting in his chest. You're just being paranoid again.
Right. He needed to calm down and stop these destructive tendencies. Otherwise, if he kept jogging around the neighborhood the whole night then his knee joints would definitely give him a world of pain soon enough.
With a sigh, Kakashi turned to head back home for the night.
On the way, he practiced his breathing exercises, inhaling deeply and exhaling slow to ease the burn of his lungs and the anxiety still running down his neck in a cold sweat. He wasn't sure why he was so on edge tonight. It was just a frat party and Sakura had promised that she wouldn't touch any alcohol.
He repeated to himself over and over again that everything would be all right. That she would be all right.
"She's okay," Kakashi chanted aloud like a mantra. "She's all right."
He breathed in deeply and repeated the words again.
"She's okay... She's all right..."
Another deep breath and—he froze.
There was a familiar scent in the air—light and sweet as flowers. It smelled like... her.
Kakashi followed the scent on instinct, wondering dazedly if he was just so exhausted from running and worried about Sakura that he was now imagining her scent.
He sniffed down the aroma, approaching Kage Park which was normally abandoned this late in the night. Except this time the playground was occupied by a bunch of young men, all of them wearing hoodies except for one guy in a white baseball cap.
They were all facing someone perched on the swing and rocking back and forth like a child having fun.
Except this was no child on the swing.
Kakashi froze in his tracks at the scene before him. Even through the darkness of the night and all the boys crowding around her, he would recognize that cherry blossom shade of pink anywhere.
"Yo, her tits are pretty cute though," one boy pointed to Sakura's chest.
Her crop top was gone, leaving her half-naked with only what appeared to be flower stickers covering her nipples.
"I wanna see if they're as perky as they look!" another boy laughed gleefully, making a grabby hand gesture as if to squeeze Sakura's breasts while she continued happily swinging back and forth.
"I don't care how small or perky they are," the third punk said, already reaching for the belt of his pants. "I'm gonna motorboat the hell outta them and then slap her with my dick for what she did to me. Bitch is stronger than she looks—I swear she broke one of my teeth with her fist."
The guy in the white baseball cap stopped the third boy, however. "Uh-uh, I get first dibs, remember?"
"But Touma—"
"Who's the one who brought her here?" Touma sneered at his friend who then stepped aside to concede. Smirking now, Touma reached over to brush his knuckled across Sakura's cheek, enjoying the softness of her skin. His other hand reached down for the buckle of his jeans, letting it click open as he murmured, "I'm going to teach you a lesson, all right? It's called Don't Fuck with the Wrong People Unless You Want to Get Fucked... And you're going to take it like a good little girl."
The swing creaked to a stop as Sakura smiled and nodded her approval, strangely compliant with their demands.
Touma grinned and pulled down the zipper of his pants only to be stopped by a sharp tap on his shoulder. Huffing in annoyance, Touma looked over his shoulder to tell his friends to go fuck off for a minute. But instead of one of his idiot friends, he was met by an older man who gave him a friendly, crinkle-eyed smile... and then a fist to the face.
A/N: Check out a sketch kimikocanvas drew on TWITTER of Kakashi and Sakura from Chapter 34: /kimikocanvas/status/1579903526272397312
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