"So." Tony rolled to look at his stunning wife. She glared at him, eyes squinting at the light from Tony turning a lamp on without warning."
"So?"
"The kid. What'dya think?"
Her expression softened. She smiled lightly. "He seems good."
"I told you! See, I told you. This is why you should always listen to me-"
"But I'm not sure he wants to be here, Tony."
Tony paused. He bit the inside of his cheek. "I think I can convince him to stay."
With a sigh through her nose, Pepper ran a hand down her face. "I'll agree to him staying here if he wants to - and if FRI keeps an eye on him at all times. But you can't force him to stay, you know that."
Tony smirked, "pretty sure I can do whatever I want-"
"Tony."
He sighed, deflating. "Yeah, I know. I know.
He'd worked so hard to get the kid here and, yeah, he knew it was… not the best idea to force the kid to stay, but letting him run off and overdose on fucking heroin wasn't an option.
A hand resting on his cheek made him focus. Pepper was smiling sadly at him. "You've done so much for him, remember that. You've done more than most ever would."
It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.
Sure, Tony was doing what he could now, but was it actually 'helping' or 'cleaning up' the mess he'd made? It was probably all his fault. He'd brought the kid into this life. He'd given him that goddamn suit. He'd introduced him to the superhero life. A life Tony knew exacted a heavy toll. He'd been naive, hoping - believing - Peter could be a part of that and still have the life he deserved.
This was all Tony's fault. Sure, he hadn't killed the kid's aunt or given him drugs, but it was a butterfly effect. He'd cast that first goddamn stone. He'd made the ripples that lead to all this shit.
So no. What he'd done so far to help wasn't fucking enough. It never would be. The best he could do was be there. And by God's name, he would be. Every second or every day. Every step of the way he would be there for that kid. Even if he had to keep an eye on him from a distance for the rest of his life.
"You know that, right, Tony?" Pepper was waiting for an answer. "You've done so much."
"Yeah." Tony's mouth felt dry. "Yeah, I know."
She rubbed her thin down his cheek then sighed. "Night. I love you."
Tony nodded and rolled back over, flicking off the light.
The room settled into peaceful darkness. Nothing but the faint moonlight creeping through the window, outlining her ethereal silhouette laying next to him. Tony leaned over and planted a quick kiss on her cheek. "Love you too."
. . .
Everything just seemed… wrong. The room was too big. The bed, too big and soft. The duvet was an ocean of fluff, sinking Peter into its waves. Snuggled up in the fluff, his eyes stared at the ceiling which stood so tall it felt a million miles away. The quiet of the room was deafening. It was overwhelming. And Peter couldn't take it anymore.
Escaping the void of covers, Peter slipped out of bed. Cool wood licked at his bare feet, sending a shiver of cold through his toes as he padded silently towards the window. With a soft creek, the window opened. A cool night breeze cascaded into the room, washing over him and scattering his already messy curls.
Closing his eyes, Peter breathed in the fresh air. Suddenly, the room itself felt constricting. Its warmth was an oven burning him alive.
Inhaling deeply, he dove through the exit, feeling the wind whip at his clothes and face as he fell from the second storey. Reaching the ground, he landed without a sound. Cold grass poked at his feet and he scrunched it between his toes. The cool air surrounded him, bringing light to his dormant senses. The air was crisp and clean, and the night was alive with soft chirps of crickets and the lapping of waves against the shoreline.
Padding down the lawn, Peter made his way to the docks and sat down at the edge. With legs criss-crossed, he reached down to the water, letting a single finger dip beneath the surface. Ripples disrupted the calm waters, sending small waves to stir the sleeping lake. The water was surprisingly warm and Peter let his whole hand wander its depth.
Soft blue moonlight cascaded the surface of the lake, gleaming in Peter's eyes. The tranquility of the water was mesmerizing and pulled his mind into its depths. How calming it would be to be part of the water. Images of blubbers and swirling waves wandered across Peter's mind. Being pulled into the water, the cold beneath its surface would nip at his warm skin as bubbles would swirl around him, travelling to the surface, waving goodbye. Sinking slowly, the world would become quiet; nothing but muffled coursing water in his ears. Fading light would wrap around him like a blanket of silk, gently tugging his mind into sleep. There would be no panic as he would slowly exhale his last breath, welcoming peaceful tranquility to finally draw him away from the pain.
It felt so real… Peter could do it. He could dip his feet into the water. Dig his toes into the mud and slowly walk out until his feet would no longer touch the ground. Then he could just let himself sink. No one would have to know… Closing his eyes, Peter tilted his head to the sky, feeling the moonlight cast across his face as he breathed in the fresh air. It was so tempting.
He was so tired.
Maybe… maybe he'd be able to see his family again. Maybe he would see his mom and dad and feel their arms wrap around him, pulling him into a warm embrace. Maybe he'd get to see the love in his mom's chocolate eyes again, or the crinkling in his dad's eyes as he smiled. Maybe he'd get to hear May's voice telling him that she loved him. Maybe… maybe he could be happy again.
"Aren't you chilly?" Peter jumped at the voice disrupting the peace of the night. Stark's slippers slapped against the wood as he approached Peter, tucking his hands in the pockets of his housecoat. "What are you doing out here anyway?" he inquired further upon receiving no answer.
"You have a housecoat that's Iron-Man themed?"
Tony shrugged. "Morgan got it for me for Father's Day."
For a brief moment, a minuscule smile played on Peter's lips. "It's pretty cool."
"I know right," Tony agreed then nodded his head at Pete. "You didn't answer my question: whatchya doin' out here?"
Peter shrugged and looked back out at the lake. "Couldn't sleep."
"Bed not comfortable? Do you want a new one? Different sheets or blankets maybe? We could go buy a mattre-"
"No, thank you Mr. Stark but that's not it. The bed and blankets are fine. Everything is fine. …. 'm just not tired is all."
"Word of advice, if you're gonna lie, at least try to make it convincing. You look and sound beat."
Peter sighed. He was exhausted, true, but it was a different kind of tired than what Tony thought.
He didn't say anything. He knew that it was rude to not respond, but he… he didn't even know what to say. Tony wasn't the type of person you talk to. And Peter was too tired to try and keep up an empty conversation.
God, what was he doing here? At the Stark residence? This wasn't his home, it wasn't his family, it wasn't where he belonged. And yet here he was, pretending to play 'family' with these… strangers. These people who were trying to welcome him into their lives like he was important to them… But it was all fake. It was all a lie. Peter didn't want their pity. He didn't want to live in a fantasy while his real family lay cold in the ground. He didn't want any of this. He never… he never wanted to be a burden… he just wanted to belong somewhere. Right now, the only place that was was the empty plot between his mom and dad, the space that was set aside for him all those years ago.
He was so damn tired.
Peter felt the blood rush to his legs as that familiar instinct washed over him. He needed to run. Needed to get away from everything. Without bothering to even look at Tony, Peter shot to his feet. Wind scattered his chestnut curls as he sped across the lawn, grass and twigs digging into his soles. He just ran, barely noticing the sting of concrete under his feet as he was leaving the welcoming home behind. He couldn't do it. He couldn't pretend like he was ok. He was never going to be ok. He's tried; he'd tried so hard to live on like he knew his parents and uncle and aunt wanted, but he couldn't do it alone. And he didn't have anyone anymore.
Peter's lungs burned as he kept going, whipping through bushes that's scratched at his skin, drawing small drops of red. He kept running until the bushes parted, revealing a long highway stretching towards the city glowing in the distance. That's where he needed to be. The quiet of the rural land was too loud. He needed sound, light, anything to break the silence that'd creeped its way inside.
He needed something - anything - to drown it out.
Headlights shone in the direction of the city and Peter flung himself, latching onto the semi. Crawling to the top, he welcomed the wind screaming in his ear and biting his skin.
. . .
"Fucking- where the hell did he go?!" Stark clawed a hand into his scalp. Worried eyes darted around as he whipped his head in every direction trying to spot the kid. Nothing but an empty driveway and lawn stood before him, not a single clue indicating where the kid had disappeared to. Tony's guess was that he'd gone into the far bushes, headed towards the highway. "Son of a bitch!"
Hurriedly limping back up the driveway, Stark retrieved a flip flop that had been lost in his unexpected pursuit. Damn his foot hurt after running through that prickly ground without a shoe.
Stumbling inside the house, Tony clumsily bustled upstairs to retrieve his arc-reactor.
"Ugh, Tony?"
Stark winced at his wife's voice. "Sorry, honey bunches, the kid ran off."
"Peter ran away?" Rubbing her eyes, Pepper gazed sleepily at her husband. "What happened?"
"Beats me. Got an alert someone left the house, went outside and saw the kid sitting by the lake, and when I asked what he was up to, he just-" Stark swept a flat hand away from him, "-took off."
"Ugh…. are you sure he didn't just run around front and go back inside?"
Tony paused. "FRI, is Peter here?"
"Peter Parker is not currently on the premises."
"Yes I'm sure," Stark answered his wife.
"Ugh, maybe you should leave him be for a bit. I told you he doesn't want to be here." With a groan, she flopped over, covering her ears with a pillow. "He'll be fine, Tony, come back to bed."
"I-" Tony internally cursed himself. "I gotta go find him."
Peeling the pillow away from her face, Pepper cracked an eye at him. She sighed through her nose, "I understand. Just- don't push too hard."
Planting a quick kiss on her head, he hastily exited the room. Tony popped a head into Peter's room hoping FRI had just lied to him and Peter would actually be fast asleep, dreaming peacefully.
Nope.
That'd just be too easy, and Odin himself knew that wasn't allowed.
"Damn," he breathed, seeing the kid's phone sitting on the bedside table. "How the hell am I gonna find him now?"
Wait. His backpack was still there.
Tony knew exactly where to find him.
. . .
"-and then she definitely knew, which made it so much worse! And I was just like- oh and the bed - in the guest bedroom - was like butter! It was so soft, but, like, it just felt so wrong, you know? And then I climbed out the window and there was a lake out there. And then I ran, but didn't have my shoes so now my feet hurt and- anyway, my point is, I don't have my bag which means I don't have my keys and drugs, so…" he blinked, face expectant and hopeful.
"The fuuuuucck?" Skeety slurred, rubbing his eyes which were still delirious from be awoken at 3am to the jammerings of Peter. "You climbed out a- and your shoes-? And you said you were at a fucking family dinner with the Starks? The fuck are you sayin'?"
Peter squinted in thought for a moment, "that's pretty much it, yeh. But like, you missed the part where I said I left my heroin there and can't get to the stuff in my apartment, so… could I…?"
"Ah Jesus, you gotta be fuckin' kidding me. You woke me up for a fix?"
"No! I woke you up cause I needed to vent. And now that you're up…" he popped the 'p' and rocked back on his heels, hands clasped behind his back.
Skeety fixed him with an unimpressed stare for several seconds before sighing and stepping aside. Peter bounded inside as Skeety closed the door behind them and made his way into the kitchen.
"Here." Grabbing a syringe out of the cupboard, Skeety tossed it to Peter. "Won't get you high, but it'll ease your symptoms. You can crash on the couch."
Peter snatched the drugs out of the air with greedy fingers. "Thanks, Skeety, really, thank you."
Skeety rolled his eyes, "I'm goin' ta bed."
"Night!"
"Yeah, night, Pete." With that, Skeety disappeared inside his bedroom.
Despite the blood pumping through his veins, now laced with opioids delivered by a sharp twinge, exhaustion from a night spent lying awake started to creep into his mind. Yawning, he tossed the now empty syringe onto the coffee table. Eying a blanket sitting on the far end of the couch, he flopped down, tugging it around him. It was thin, but his muscles felt so heavy, he barely cared. It was already more comfortable than a big soft bed. Peter had spent a number of nights on the couch when he lived with May. It had always been more comfortable than his bed, but he never told her that. He'd just sneak into the living room some nights and make sure to get back into his room by morning. Not like couches were the most ergonomic of sleeping spaces, but at this point they'd become so familiar they offered a sense of comfort.
Peter yawned, the weight of his eyelids were like sandbags. His skin was grafted into the fabric. The cool, yet comforting hands of unconsciousness wrapped around him, gently tugging him close.
He felt his breathing slow and the distant sound of traffic disappeared into the background.
There was a knock at the door.
Peter let out a startled 'GAH!' and bolted upright. His head snapped left, staring wide-eyed at the door. His delirious brain, just having been rudely torn away from incipient sleep, trying to figure out if the noise was real or if he'd just imagined it.
He got his answer when a string of curses were followed by the bedroom door being thrown open. A grumpled Skeety shambled into the living room.
The knocking happened again, making Peter jump.
Skeety grumbled incoherently to himself and put his eye up to the eyehold. "Fucking fuck," he sighed and opened the door.
Peering around his friend, Peter spotted none other than Anthony Edward Stark.
"Peter?!" Tony's eyes zeroed-in on Peter and he darted into the apartment. "Thank god, how did you get here so fast-" his eyes flickered to Skeety, "-nevermind that, come on, let's head back."
"I…" Peter's voice faltered, "I don't… I-"
"Come on, you said you'd stay the night."
"I know… and I sorta did. I just left, uh, I just left really early in the morning." Peter smiled cheaply, earning a flat stare from Tony.
"Peter."
"Am I wrong?"
"Yes!"
Peter crossed his arms, "I disagree."
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath in. "You're not staying here, come on-"
"I'd rather not-"
"Too bad. I will drag you out of here if I have to."
"I'd like to see you try."
"You think I can't?"
"I know you can't."
"Have you met me?"
"Have you met me? I told you, I'm way more stubborn than your brain could ever comprehend - no matter how wrinkly it is-"
"Ok. Get out." Both of the boys paused, turning to look at Skeety. The man sighed, "Not that I don't love ya, Pete, but couldja just lemme fuckin' sleep?"
Peter snapped his jaw shut and crawled over the back of the couch. "Sorry, night." With a nod, Skeety brushed them into the hall and closed the door.
They stood in awkward silence.
Peter cleared his throat. "Uh, I would offer to go into my place, but I also, uh, left my, uh, left my key at your place, so…" He shrugged.
Scrubbing a hand down his face, Tony brushed past Peter. His watch morphed into a gauntlet, lock-picking tools extending from two of the fingers. Within a minute, the door was unlocked. Peter squinted at him, but ultimately didn't say anything as they headed inside.
It was funny how every time he saw the place, Peter was always reminded all over again how much he hated his apartment. It really sucked.
Not that he wasn't thankful to have it nonetheless - anywhere was better than being homeless, but still. It just… it held so many horrible memories. So many horrible realities. Current realities.
With a huff, he shambled over to his bed and flopped face-first into the mattress. His voice was muffled by pillow fluff as he spoke, but he made no effort to lift his head. "How did you find me - again - so fast?"
Footsteps made their way over to him and a weight came to rest beside his feet. "You left your backpack. Figured you'd be at your dealer."
"You-" He rolled his head, so he could side-eye the man with his one eye. "You know Skeety's my dealer?"
Tony rolled his eyes, "of course, you practically name-dropped him, like, four times."
"I- no…"
"Sorry to break it to you, Pete, but piecing together 'skeet' and your neighbour 'skeety' doesn't take a genius."
Peter's face soured. His damn big mouth. "Please don't arrest him. He's a good guy."
Tony took a moment. He sighed through his nose. "I won't. But I don't like that he sells this shit - especially to kids-"
"I'm not a kid."
"Yes you fucking are. And I don't like that he sold you that shit. But-" He held up a hand to quiet Peter before he could argue "- he seems like an ok guy. If he's not hurting anyone, then… then I won't bust him." Yet. Tony would be keeping it in mind for the future, but right now, that wasn't the priority. Tony wasn't an idiot, and, as much as he would never agree with that man selling people drugs, he knew that a dealer who was, at heart, a good person was better for everyone. Yes, making it harder to access drugs was a good thing, but in the end, people were going to get drugs if they wanted them. What was most important was making it safe for them to do so.
So, no, Tony wasn't going to turn-in Skeeter or Skeety or whatever the hell his name was.
A heavy sigh left Tony and he planted a hand on Peter's foot, "so."
"So?"
Tony looked at him, the kid had rolled over a bit so he was now on his side, side-eying Tony. "What happened? Why'd you run this time?"
The kid took several seconds to respond. "Bed was too soft."
Tony gawked at the air, eyes squinting. He was clearly very tired and very done at the same time. With a cross between a frustrated cry and a groan, Tony wracked a hand down his face. He inhaled, face falling into a tired look of confusion. "What?"
Peter's mouth became a thin white line and he sat up, tucking his knees close to himself. "Your place is really nice. Too nice. I… it didn't feel right. This-" he wagged a finger between them "-doesn't feel right. You're… you're you, you know? And I'm… I'm just some rando from Queens. I'm poor, always have been, and, yeah, that always sucked, but it's me. I'm not built for nice things, I'm not… I'm not a Stark. I'm a Parker. Your place… it's just… it's so much. It was all so. Much. And I'm not trying to be ungrateful or anything - because I really appreciated it all, but… but it's just not me, you know? I shouldn't be anywhere near you and your family. I just don't belong. I think you know that, you're just nice and don't wanna admit it."
Tony took a moment, eyes doing a once-over of Peter. "You're a nerd."
Peter frowned, "excuse me?"
"You're a nerd," the man repeated himself. "Therefore, you do belong."
The simplicity of the statement took Peter back.
That was a stupid reason. Also it was just plain not true- ok, well… maybe it wasn't completely inaccurate. But it was still a dumb reason to think soemone would belong anywhere.
Still, something about the way Tony had said it made something shift in Peter's chest.
A tight feeling started bubbling up inside, as the sense of belonging that Peter had been fighting off for the last few days, began to grow.
Just as quickly as the sentiment rose, it was pulled back down by the empty abyss of Peter's heart. As Peter's spirits fell, so did his face.
Eyes dropping to the ground in front of Stark, Peter muttered. "No, I don't, Mr. Stark." Tony's jaw tightened and he tilted his head, giving Peter a flat stare, almost annoyed, but mostly concerned. "Look, I don't doubt that you care for me, but what you're feeling is a sense of duty towards me. You want to protect me because I'm younger than you - and that's fine and normal, but please don't mistake that for… for love, okay?" Peter met Tony's eyes, holding his gaze. His words were gaining speed and power with each word. "I'm not your problem okay? You can leave, Tony. Go home to your family.. You can't help me. You don't have to help me. You don't have to feel guilty for leaving, because I'm telling you that it's ok. You can go. I appreciate all that you've done, I really do, but I. am. not. your problem." At that, a faint pained smile played on his lips and his eyes held back tears like he was trying to be strong for Tony's sake. "It's ok, Tony, It's ok to leave-" Peter halted suddenly.
Stark was rolling his eyes with so much emphasis, Peter swore Tony's eyes would get stuck looking at the back of his head.
"Did you just- are you rolling your eyes at me?!" Peter asked in disbelief.
"It's an involuntary reaction when I hear something especially stupid," Tony responded, turning to fully face Peter. "Kid," He started, learning forward and placing a hand on Peter's knee. "I don't know how to make you believe me, cause clearly you've got some self destructive behaviours that rival even mine - or maybe it's trust issues I don't know. But you just gotta let me show you that I. mean. it. I love you, okay? Will you give me a chance to prove that to you?" He was facing Peter once again. Steely brown eyes locked onto the kid's meek puppy dog ones.
That same feeling started gnawing inside. A soft, but overpowering hunger to sprout, arms extended, and wrap around the chance. Even if it was a lie, even if it didn't last, it was desperate to just taste that feeling again.
To be loved.
To be cared for.
To have someone.
Maybe… maybe… maybe Peter should take the step.
It was a risk, a stupid risk that would inevitably end up with him crashing and burning like he always did. But… but he was… he was dying anyway.
He knew it.
He didn't like to admit it, but he knew. Peter knew he was withering away like an ashen rose, life seeping away like a bleeding wound.
So maybe…
Maybe he could muster one more shred of courage.
Take one more chance.
One more.
One more chance.
Peter nodded faintly. His eyes dropped to the ground in a mixture of shame, embarrassment. "Sorry I ran away."
Tony's expression softened, his head tilting to the side as he regarded the kid with gentle eyes. "It's alright, Pete. Everyone has their thing, yours is apparently running."
Peter sniffed and scrubbed the tears from his cheeks. "I used to sneak out all the time. Always felt bad for making May and Ben worry, but… I don't know, just needed to get away from everything, you know?"
"Yeah," Tony closed the gap between them, brushing a few loose strands out of Peter's face. "Yeah, I know." The man sighed through his nose, voice gentle when he spoke. "Coming on the heels of you running away, this might not be the best time to ask, but whatever. Will you stay at my place from now on? Long-term."
Peter stiffened. "I don't know…"
"Please." The guttural zeal in Tony's tone sank deep into Peter's chest.
Maybe he should just say yes. For one, he was out of a job and his rent was coming due, so he was probably gonna lose his place anyway, cause he was already behind on rent as it was. Secondly… Tony really seemed to want him at his place. Peter would never understand why, but he couldn't deny the look of near pleading on the man's face, or how happy he'd gotten when Peter had agreed to stay even only the one night.
Peter exhaled through his nose. "ok."
Tony's expression twitched indicating he was trying to hide his happiness. He stayed quiet for a few moments until Peter's eyes flickered to his, half in question, half in uncertainty. Tony shook his head and cleared his throat. "Good. Good. I'm glad, let's- I'll get FRI to pack up your stuff and bring it over."
"She can do that?"
"Using a couple of my older suits, yes she can."
"Oh. ok." With the lull of their conversation and the adrenaline starting to wear off, Peter was reminded of just how heavy his eyelids had become. In fact, all of him felt heavy. He hadn't realized how much effort it took to keep his head up.
"Aright," Tony clapped his hands together, "FRI, send over-"
"'M tired," Peter slurred, cutting Tony off. "Can we do tha' in the morning?"
Tony blinked, eyes shifting to look out the window at the dark. "Huh." It was like he'd forgotten it was the middle of the night. "Yeah, yeah, I'll let you sleep first. You wanna head back to my place?"
Peter just groaned in response. "Tha's, like, half 'n hour away…"
Taking a second to look at the kid, the sleepy eyes and the bobbing head, Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine."
With a sleepy smile of thanks, Peter flopped back, instantly melting into the bed. A peaceful darkness rolled over him and his spirit drifted into unconsciousness.
Tony's eyebrows shot up, the kid was asleep. Took him less than a minute.
Must've been tired.
Tony himself was tired too, but there was nowhere for him to sleep, other than maybe in one of the table chairs. He didn't really care anyway, cause as much as he'd love to get at least a few hours, he was perfectly content to watch over the kid as he slept.
With the heroin, Tony found great comfort in keeping an eye on the unconscious kid. He needed to see that he was still breathing. He needed to see the rise and fall of his chest and hear the quiet inhales and exhales.
He needed to know he hadn't overdosed.
That was one of the many reasons why Tony wanted Peter at his place: FRI would be able to keep an eye on his vitals at all times.
Even then, Tony was sure he'd have a hard enough time sleeping at night. But without that safety net, Tony would never get a wink and he knew it.
So, Tony settled himself comfortably at the table. He had a few projects to work on, anyway.
. . .
A strong inhale followed by some movement made Tony look up.
The browns of the kid's eyes came into view for a moment before vanishing once more behind heavy lids. Arms bumped into the wall as limbs stretched out. The kid blinked a few times, his pupils landing on Tony. A momentary frown of confusion passed across his face then disappeared. He sat up, rubbing his eyes.
Tony smirked, his hair was like a bird's nest. "How was your sleep?"
"Morning." The kid slurred, brain still coming online. "Was good. I-" His eyes snapped wide. "WAIT!- did you- were you- you didn't have anywhere to sleep!"
Tony smirked again and waved a hand in front of his face, "It's all good, kid, I wasn't tired anyway."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Mr. Stark, I didn't think-"
"Kid. I'm not lying to you: I wasn't tired."
The kid's eyes flickered across Tony's face, looking for a sign he was lying. Upon finding nothing, he relaxed a little. "Ok… I… uh…"
"So," Tony stood, putting away his tablet. "Wanna get ready and then I'll get FRI to start packing."
Peter blinked, "uh…" The look on his face made Tony momentarily worry he'd changed his mind. "...ok…"
Tony let a breath he didn't know he'd been holding go.
The kid swayed a little as he walked, his face twisting and Tony realized he was probably feeling some withdrawal symptoms.
The reminder of his situation squeezed Tony's heart. He watched as the kid stumbled to the bathroom.
Grabbing a pair of pants and a shirt, Tony tossed it to the kid before he could close the door. "Should probably change outta your pyjamas, don't you think?"
The kid frowned then looked down at himself, "oh, yeah, right, yeah, thanks."
"Don't lock the door."
The kid paused, shame twisting in his face. He nodded, closing the door.
Staying close to the door, Tony activated his watch and whispered, "FRI."
The AI whispered back to him, "Hold on." What felt like hours, but was probably less than a minute, passed. "He didn't overdose. He didn't take too high of a dose, actually, his comprehension should be ok."
Tony breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back.
After ten minutes or so, the bathroom door opened and the kid stepped out, looking more awake. His hair was still messy, but at least looked somewhat under control now.
Seeing Tony, he pointed out the window, head tilted, "Is it mid-day already?"
Tony nodded, "yeah."
"I slept that long?"
Shrugging, Tony tucked his hands into his pockets. One of the suits FRI sent over had brought him a change of clothes. "You looked tired."
The kid blinked, "... ok… thanks." His eyes flickered to the two suits standing in the corner of the kitchen.
"Suits are here," Tony answered his silent question, "we can head out if you're ready."
Peter's eyes did a once-over of his apartment. There wasn't too much stuff, but there were a few things he wanted to bring over himself. He just didn't trust anything else to be careful enough with them. "I wanna take over a box myself."
Tony nodded.
Making his way over to the tiny closet he had, Peter dug out the few boxes he had from when he'd moved in. He didn't need a big box.
Shuffling around, he started collecting his stuff. A few picture frames, a photo album, his lego Palpatine Minifigure, and his locket - the one his parents had given him before they left.
Closing the flaps, he held it close to him. The last reminders he had of his life. Of the life he used to have. "Ok. Done."
Tony quirked an eyebrow, "that it?"
Peter's eyes dipped. He knew it wasn't a lot, but each item meant so much to him.
He went to nod, then paused. Setting the box down, he dug through his bedside table drawer. Blue light filtered into the room when he uncovered it. Reaching down, his fingers clasped the device. It was cool, for as much energy as it exude. Pulling it out, he turned back to Tony. It rested in his palm as he held it out.
"This is yours."
Tony blinked, "how did you…?"
Peter shrugged, "it was in Happy's condo and an electric guy stole it. I got it back, but I… I don't know, I never gave it back to Happy. I don't really know why, I probably should have, but, uh, anyway, it's yours, so… here you go."
The man's eyes dipped to the device and after a second, he shrugged, "you can keep it. Could be useful for you."
Peter frowned, surprised. "Uh… you're just gonna give me an arc reactor?"
"If you want, I can show you how it works. Whaddya say you throw it in the box and we'll analyze it in the lab together?"
"Uh… s-sure? That would-" That would actually be pretty awesome. Peter had always admired the arc reactor, but he'd never known how it worked. He'd had a few theories, but he definitely needed a lot of guidance to fully understand the thing. "-that would be really cool."
The genuinity of his tone must've come through, because Tony smiled. Taking the reactor out of Peter's hand, he tossed it in the box and handed it to Peter. "Let's drop that off and then whaddya say we go to lunch? To celebrate you officially moving in?"
"Uh… I don't think we need to do that. It's not that big of a deal."
A pause. "Maybe not, but I could go for some pizza? Whaddya say?"
Peter thought for a second. "From where?"
Tony smirked, he knew exactly where the kid liked. Sure, he had learned this through some thorough stalking back in the day, but in his defence, he was trying to figure out if Spider-Man was a solid guy before recruiting him. What he'd found out was: he was a literal child, and he liked pizza. A lot. "How do you feel about Eddie's in Midtown?"
Tony saw the kid perk up a hair, then shrug, feigning nonchalance. "Yeah, I could go for Eddie's."
. . .
The day had slipped away pretty quickly. Maybe part of that was because Tony had let Peter sleep until late afternoon.
It was actually one of the best sleeps Peter had had since… since… well…
Anyway, by the time they got back to the city, the sun was already starting to set and it was supper time. Morgan had fencing class and Pepper decided to enjoy the peace and quiet of an empty house for the night.
So it was just Peter and Tony, which was probably for the best. Peter liked Morgan and Pepper just fine, but he really wasn't in the mood for a big… thing, you know?
Arriving at Eddie's, they ordered and Peter led them to his favourite booth in the back corner, near an old pin-ball machine he'd played with over the years.
True to Eddie's reputation, the pizza didn't take long.
They enjoyed the food in silence.
Despite how weak his appetite had been lately, Peter would never turn down some Eddie's extra pepperoni pizza.
Munching away on his food, he didn't even notice that Tony was hanging back, purposefully leaving most of the food for him. And sure enough, it worked, without realizing it, Peter had eaten all but the one piece that Tony had taken.
The waiter took their plates, leaving a handful of complimentary candies.
"Mint?" Tony extended one to Peter, who promptly careened out of his seat, springing away so fast, he fell into the bathroom door as someone was trying to come out. A cry was heard behind the now closed door followed by a thud and a splashing sound.
Peter cringed and darted back into the booth, trying to act casual as a man exited the bathroom, eyes wildly searching for who had bodychecked him back into the toilets. Because that is exactly what happened. The man had stumbled and landed right into the open-lidded toilet. A fact that was confirmed by the large wet spot right on his butt.
His eyes landed on them and he stormed over, "did you see who that was?"
"Uh…" Peter's voice was tight. "Yea, some kid, he, uh, he-"
"He ran away, sorry pal." Tony chimed in.
The man looked ready to say more but then halted. Recognition flashed across his face, eyes lighting up. "Hey, you're, wow, you're Tony Stark!" Tony nodded. "I'm, uh, I'm a big fan. I got a tattoo of your face on my thigh."
Tony's eyebrows shot up. "That's an interesting place for that."
"Yeah…" Probably upon remembering the toilet water on his ass, the happiness was quickly replaced by a look of embarrassment. "Uh… I should go find the kid who did this."
"Yeah, probably," Tony smiled tightly.
The man awkwardly waved a little and shuffled away from the booth. The door jingled as he left.
Peter breathed a sigh of relief.
Tony, meanwhile, slowly replaced the mint into the pile on the table with a raised eyebrow. He held up his hands to show he wasn't holding it anymore. "Ok. A simple 'no thanks' without all the bathroom drama would've been fine."
"Huh? Oh uh-" the kid cleared his throat and vividly relaxed, now looking embarrassed as his cheeks turned a warm shade of pink. "Sorry, sorry, I, uh, I'm allergic to mint."
"Mint huh? Well that's a new one."
"Y-yeah, it's pretty inconvenient, but I'm, like, super allergic to it."
"Anaphylaxis?"
"No. Not- not like that- ok it's not exactly an allergy, but it's hard to explain, so it's easiest to just call it that, cause, I mean, it might as well be."
"… so you're not gonna die if I eat one of these myself?" He reached again for a mint, crinkling the wrapper.
The kid's face twisted in dread as his eyes remained steadfast on the minty candies. "Don- please don't. I- I can't stand the-" he gagged, earning two raised eyebrows from Tony "-the smell. Oh god it's unbearable. If you eat one, I'll be able to smell it on your breath. Oh god I- I can't. I can't. I just can't. I'm sorry Mr. Stark, but I can't."
"Ok, ok, ok, I'm putting it down, you see? Jesus, kid, you really don't like mint that much?"
The kid shuddered. "Yeah. I've never been the biggest fan, but ever since I became Spid- uh- different, I can't stand it. Like, I cannot express how sick it makes me feel. Just the thought of it-" he gagged again "-I- I can't. I can't."
"Huh." Tony sat back, crossing his arms, bemused.
FRIDAY chimed in from Tony's watch. "According to my research, mint - especially peppermint - repels most species of spiders."
"Oh." The kid tilted his head in thought, processing the AI's words. "What a weird inconvenience…"
"Come on, it can't be that bad, can it?"
"NO! It's so annoying, seriously! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find toothpaste? Like, seriously." Tony blinked. "When you pick up a tube of toothpaste, what flavour is it, huh? Mint. Fucking mint always. Everything is mint!"
"Huh." Tony leaned back in his chair, watching Peter talk. A spark of his former self - the nerdy kid - was shining through.
"-And don't even get me started on how dangerous it is to kiss anymore. It's like Russian Roulette. I mean when you're planning to kiss someone, you wanna make sure your breath doesn't smell, right? So whaddya do? Pop a mint or chew some mint gum! God it's disgusting." The kid hunched his shoulders like he was imagining the taste. "It's so hard to avoid. With MJ, I started ordering something with, like, garlic or onions for us to share just to overpower the mint cause I couldn't take it. Almost threw up in her mouth once. I DIDN'T. But I did have to sprint to the bathroom and, well, vomit there, so that was… nice. Anyway, it just sucks. You never realize how mint-obsessed the world is until mint makes you puke. Don't even get me started on the Christmas season. Everything. Everything is mint. Mint candy canes on trees, Mr. Stark. Even trees aren't safe when it's Christmas."
The corner of Tony's mouth curved upwards. "MJ?"
"Huh?" The kid blinked. "Oh, right, yeah, you never did meet her did you? Well, I guess not 'cause we didn't start dating until after you were dead, so- anyway, you met Ned, though, right? Wait, no, you didn't, did you? That was Happy. Wait- did Happy meet Ned? He met MJ. Maybe it was Stephen who knew both of them…" He drifted off in thought, squinting at the wall like he was confused by the paint colour. He shook his head. "Anyway, MJ is- was my girlfriend. She's the best." His smile fell, turning more bitter-sweet. "We never broke up, you know. Right before she… forgot me, she told me she loved me. And I was gonna say it back - because I do, I love her so much, but… when I went to see her after, I realized that my very existence in her life puts her in danger. She got hurt because of me when… and… I just- I- she's safer without me. She and Ned both. So… but still, I…"
Peter tr ailed off, eyes becoming unfocussed.
"It sounds like you two made each-other pretty happy." Tony called his attention back to reality.
Blinking, Peter nodded. "Yeah, yeah, we really did. She was my rock, after May… but, uh, now…" he cleared his throat, "well, you know."
Tony nodded. He had a new goal now: get the kid back together with this MJ character - or at least get him some closure on the whole situation. But that would have to wait, there were more pressing matters to attend to first.
Slapping his thighs, Tony stood, "wanna grab a coffee on the way out of town?"
Peter blinked at the jarring change of conversation. He quickly followed the now departing Tony. "Uh… s-sure?"
"The hipster joint where you brushed me off is on the way, how about there?"
The kid's steps faltered for a second, "ugh, I forgot about that. Sorry."
Tony smirked, "you can pay me back by helping me with my newest suit upgrade."
The door jingled on their way out, "uh…?"
"Two brains are better than one."
"Well, I mean, yeah, usually, but probably not when one of them's mine."
"Whatever you say, kid. But I disagree." The screech of tires made Peter jump. Tony's Audi came to a fluid stop at the curb. Tony made his way around to the driver's side as Peter slid awkwardly into the passenger's seat. "Either way, you owe me."
The kid inhaled then rolled his eyes. "Fine. But I don't know how much 'help' I'll actually be." A pause. "If I blow something up, you can't blame me."
Chuckling, Tony pulled away from the curb. "Deal."
The kid didn't respond, subconsciously swaying his head to the radio. Apparently someone liked Taylor Swift.
Rolling his eyes, Tony let the content quiet gently fall across them like fog.
Comfortable silence was a huge step.
Everything was going to be just fine.
. . .
"Woah."
Stark turned around to see Peter's head tilted back, gazing up at the open night sky. Lifting his head, Tony sought what had grabbed the kids attention only to see an empty sky. No clouds or anything.
"There's so many, '' Peter mumbled. "I mean, I know there are millions of them - I've learned about them and I've seen pictures, but… It's just so much more… real seeing them in person…" he trailed off.
With a start, Tony realized what Peter was referring to.
"You've never seen the stars before?"
Lowering his eyes just enough to briefly catch Tony's, Peter shook his head.
"I've never really been outside of a city" the kid responded before returning his gaze upwards.
Pure unbridled awe was plastered to his every feature. Peter stood unmoving, his eyes glimmered as they drank in every piece of the quiet night horizon. The faint red flecks embedded in his soft chocolate irises stood out, gleaming as if in response to the stars' twinkles .
Tony supposed the sky was beautiful given how clear it was. Every star shone against the pitch black backdrop. Each sparkle, no matter how small or faint, was visible. As his gaze fell back down to Earth, Tony's eyes landed on Peter, still staring at the sky completely enthralled with its magnificence. A faint smile crept onto the man's face. Tony couldn't believe this was the first time the kid was seeing the stars. At the same time, it made him happy too - to be a part of this memorable moment in Pete's life. Tony loved him like he was his son, but he'd never gotten to witness Peter's first words, or steps, or his first day at school, or even his first drink. It may not have been that significant, but Tony was thankful to be a part of Peter's first time seeing the stars.
"Alright. Come on Kiddo. Time to go" Stark said, putting an arm around Pete's shoulders and leading him back on track. "We've got hot chocolate inside."
That got Peter's attention. He did love chocolate.
. . .
Well, the room looked less like a guest room now, that was for sure.
Peter may not have had that much stuff, but even the several boxes made the room look messy. He pretty much only unpacked two of them: the one he'd taken here himself, and the one holding is clothes.
He didn't want to unpack the rest. It still didn't feel right.
Maybe…
Maybe later.
But not yet.
He wasn't ready for that.
It was a big step, coming here.
He… he wasn't sure what to feel about it.
So he took to not thinking, creeping quietly down the hall, down the stairs and into the dining room.
There was a bench-like surface built into the big windows overlooking the backyard he'd noticed yesterday. He climbed onto it, curling up in a ball as close to the window as he could get. He cast his eyes up to the sky.
God they were beautiful, seriously.
Peter had had his fair share of sleepless nights lately, but this time, it was different. He wasn't awake because of nightmares or splintered realities. He just wanted to see the stars again.
It was a simple thing, really. But it was a reminder of how big the world was. How magical it was- well, maybe not that. To be honest, the word 'magic' was now… tainted. He hated magic.
He hated it so much.
So, no, the stars weren't magical, they were… incredible. They were science. They were tangible, yet forever out of reach. They were… they were whimsical.
God, were they beautiful.
He couldn't stop looking at them, all twinkling above.
"What're you looking at?"
The voice made Peter jump, heart leaping into his throat. Wide eyes frantically searched for the origin of the voice. They landed on a little girl who'd snuck up beside him.
She stared back with wide eyes of her own.
Peter gasped to regain his breath. He'd had a heart attack. "Huh?!"
She stared for a second more then giggled. "You're weird, ha ha!"
Peter "Uh…"
Clambering onto the nook, she squished her face up to the glass. "What're you looking at? The raccoons? There's a whole family of them that live out there. Mom and dad don't believe me though."
"Uh…" Peter said again. He blinked, shaking his head in an attempt to get his brain back online. "Y- yeah. I mean no. No I wasn't- I didn't see any raccoons. I was… just looking at the, uh, the stars. You guys have a nice place here."
"Huh." She sat back, face twisting in deep consideration like she'd never thought to look at the stars before. "I guess so. What's your house like?"
Peter's mouth felt dry. "Uh…"
She giggled, face warm, and tilted her head, "you say that a lot."
"Oh, uh-" more giggles "- I mean, I, uh-" she burst out laughing, rolling back into the seat like an egg. Peter couldn't help but smile at that. She was a cute kid.
After a minute or so, her laughter died down and she sat up. "You're hair is curly." She reached up, frown forming when she realized he couldn't reach. Peter rolled his eyes and dipped his head. She giggled again and he felt her little hands dig into the strands. "It sooooo curly! I wish I had curly hair like yours!"
Pete chuckled and raised his head again. "I'm not sure you do. It's a hassle, really. It gets so messy." He thought for a second then grabbed a strand and pulled it down in front of his eyes. It was getting pretty long. "I guess it's not so bad when I keep it short."
"You're hair's long. Not like, long long, but it's not short either. I like it!"
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Thanks. I like your bunny slippers."
Her face lit up and he hurried to shove her foot in Peter's face. "Aren't they awesome?! My friend got me them for my birthday! I'm gonna put lights in them so they're light up when I walk!" She shrugged and lowered her foot. "That way I can sneak into the kitchen at night without mom and dad knowing. They always notice when I turn on the light." Her face soured. "I think FRIDAY tells them."
Peter chuckled. "Probably. She's tattled on me a few times too."
She tilted her head. "You sneak into the kitchen too?" Crap. Why did Peter have to open his dumb mou- "We should team up! We can be the snack stealing duo! Or, or the midnight munchers, or the-"
The overhead light flicked on. "What're you doing out of bed, missy?" Pepper hugged her housecoat around herself, clearly having been woken up. "You have school tomorrow."
Morgan's face fell and she clamped her jaw shut. "I wanted milk…"
Pepper rolled her eyes and padded into the kitchen, grabbing a glass for her daughter. Morgan's eyes lit up. "You know, milk goes best with a cookie-"
"No. Drink then get to bed. You can have a cookie at lunch tomorrow."
Morgan's face soured, but she didn't argue further, listening to her mom. After putting her glass in the sink, she wrapped her arms around Pepper, "Night, mom."
"Goodnight, Morgan, love you." Pepper brushed some brown strands out of her daughter's face. "Now go get some sleep."
"Love you too!" Morgan bounded out the doorway. A second later, her head poked back in, "night, Peter."
Peter waved, "night."
She saluted him then dipped out of sight again. In the distance, her footsteps disappeared up the stairs, leaving Peter and Pepper alone.
This was probably the time to talk to her. Peter had been wanting to talk- well, want probably wasn't the best word to describe it, because this was not going to be a super fun conversation, but he felt they should talk about… this.
Peter inhaled, "I…" His mouth felt dry and he swallowed, casting his eyes out the window. "I don't want… if you're not comfortable with me staying here, I'd understand. I don't wanna put you in a position where you feel-"
Pepper held up a hand, quieting Peter. She smiled, face warm. Tugging her housecoat around her, she padded close, taking a seat where Morgan had just been. "I won't lie, Peter, I was nervous bringing you into our home, but getting to know you, I don't feel a shred of discomfort having you here. You're a good kid." She paused, thinking. Taking a breath, she reached out and patted his knee. "I just ask that you don't let her see any of it."
Peter opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.
What was he supposed to say? Of course he didn't want to expose her to all… of it. It was one of the reasons he'd fought Tony when he'd tried bringing him here. But now that he'd given in, now that he was here… he couldn't just stop using. He… he didn't have that in him. He didn't know how to face that dragon. So what was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to hide being high? He could try avoiding her, avoiding them all. Then what would be the point of even being here? The best way to keep Morgan safe was Peter not being here at all.
He was a danger to everyone around him. He always had been.
He would of course hide the injections, the snorting, all of that. But the aftermath of it… how could he hide that?
This was a mistake.
Peter felt the panic growing in his chest, barbed wires coiling around his organs, tightening until he couldn't breath.
Pepper was asking him to do something that was impossible.
But he couldn't blame her. Of course he couldn't blame her. Peter was an outsider who was putting her daughter at risk.
Pepper's eyes crinkled for a second then she patted his knee again, looking deep into his eyes. "I'm not asking you to not use, Peter, all I'm asking is that you try to keep it as subtle as possible."
Peter's throat constricted and he dipped his head, nodding. "I'll try, I really will, I promise."
She smiled, eyes warm. "Thank you."
Peter could only nod, trying to stop the burn, threatening to water his vision. Her hand squeezed for a second then removed itself. She got up, making her way back over to the doorway. "Have a good night, Peter."
He smiled weakly, "'night Mrs. Potts."
She flicked the light off, leaving Peter to the peaceful night, stars shining bright out the window.
He meant it. He was going to try.