Author's Note: Back to the main Enter!verse we go! This set is Allana/Festus, but like, mostly the version of them that exists before and slightly after Where the Waves Shatter? Which is to say, it's mostly Festus obsessing and not having the first clue how to process his emotions...
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Week Eight
51-56 ABY, Enter!verse AU
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36. Doldrums
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In the aftermath of their defection, Ferrus says they should go to a bar.
Festus doesn't argue with him, he goes along with it, stretches out in a dark booth and stares at nothing and listens to nothing, ignores the drink in front of him, he doesn't care, he doesn't want to care—
let him go
—frag, his head is pounding, he shouldn't care about that either, does he have a concussion or is it just the aching void his master left behind, he doesn't deserve her mercy, he doesn't, he hates her—
I'm still asking you to spare him
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37. Undertow
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He imagines what he would do if he ever saw her again, the things he would say, whether she would run.
(whether he would chase her)
—of course you would, that's what monsters do—
—chase her and catch her and let her see every bit of the psycho she saved—
She has to know it was a mistake. She has to know that. She has to.
(she should run)
—run, run, run, there's only one way this ends—
Force, he feels sick, why does he always feel sick?
—pathetic, you're so fragging pathetic—
(why can't he stop thinking about her)
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38. Depth
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He stares down at the man, watching his futile attempt to struggle against the invisible web of energy that binds him in place. There's something poetic in that, he thinks – a serial killer so heinous and so feared he's wanted dead or alive (but mostly dead), suddenly just as helpless and vulnerable as each of his victims, unable to escape, about to die.
"You know, I really should thank you," Festus says, smiling, ignoring his own blood loss as he digs his saber hilt into the killer's gut. "If it weren't for you, I never would have gone to Kordros."
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39. Current
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He's been trying for weeks (for years) to put her out of his mind, but sometimes he gives in, allowing the mere thought of her to consume him; and it feels good – or maybe that's the wrong word for it, because nothing in his life is good, and nothing is pure or noble or beautiful—
(except her)
—and it's like being swept away by some insane river, or pummeled by waves as they crash into the shore, relentless and overwhelming and exhilarating, and he wouldn't mind forgetting everything he is and everything he's done just to drown himself in her.
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40. Squall
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he sees her in his nightmares, watches his hand close around her throat, watches her fight back, tumble to the floor, try desperately to crawl away from him, watches her struggle beneath him as he holds her down, feels her body go still as his blade flares to life, remembers the power and the rage, the thrill, the taste of her fear, feels a howl clamoring from deep within his chest as he wills it to be different, screams and pleads with himself to stop, stop, just stop already, gods no what are you doing why won't you kriffing stop…
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**Okay, so this last drabble probably takes place sometime after the Reialem duel from What If This Storm Ends?, when Festus is a bit more self-aware, rather than being in the aftermath of WtWS, but it worked well with the rest of the set, so I kept it. :P