Chapter 10 April 20, 2006
The last few weeks had been relatively quiet but I could still feel the storm front looming. Jacob and I had spent every spare minute together. Bella was colder to me but I didn't care, or at least I didn't let her see me care. Yesterday had been mine and Jacob's one month which thrilled me. He took me out to dinner in Port Angeles then we went dancing at a street fair that was going on.
Charlie was letting up on Bella a little and she had gotten her car back last week. Edward was leery around us now but again it didn't phase me. The wolves were even more vigilant and I had finally met the pack on the second. It had been quite the interesting time.
"Jake whose this?" Boys piled out of a house all in cut off jeans and little else.
"This is Meridian my girlfriend." Jake said an arm around me.
"Oh so she's the one that you keep on, th, talking about."
"She knows, in fact, show them your ability babe." I wrinkled my nose, babe, he hadn't yet called me that and I didn't like it. I didn't say anything but instead went into the forest, stripped, then shifted forms I heard several gasps as I came out of the forest. I ran back into the forest changed, then came out, they were all talking gesticulating with their hands.
"But she's not a tribe member, how did she change?"
"I can't believe you told her our secret, how did you keep this hidden from us?"
"I didn't think about it when I would change, it's not that big a deal, now you know her's so it's not as if she's gunna blab." Jacob grinned down at me, a little condescendingly, I didn't know if this was some sort of show for his friends, but I didn't care for it at all.
"Look I gotta go, uncle needs me in less than an hour." I didn't kiss him goodbye but left getting into my car then driving back into town wondering if Jake was like that all the time, or just with his friends. Either way I was planning on having a talk with him about it, I had decided this by the time I made it home. I had a pot roast slow in the crock pot, rolls rising, and a cobbler that could be put in the oven any time now. A couple hours later I had just finished mashing potatoes when I heard Charlie.
"Mar you home, it smells good." Charlie came in putting his belt up on a hook he sniffed appreciatively.
"I'm here, the roast is almost finished, if you sit I'll serve."
"I need to talk to your father to have him keep you here, your cooking is as always amazing." I laughed as I pulled out the roast, I put the plate in front of Charlie so he could cut it, then put the carrots, and onions into separate dishes.
"Well someone needs to keep an eye on you." He chuckled after taking a sip of water.
"I'm not that old and decrepit." I only laughed then went to pull the cobbler out, then cut it up, Charlie took ice cream out of the freezer and we had a delicious ending.
"I'd better go downstairs, got to finish an essay."
"I'll wash up, you have a call with your dad tonight right?"
"Yeah it's supposed to be in a few minutes-" My phone ringed, which was surprising because usually we talked over zoom I answered it and heard a lot of static sound.
"Hello?" I said wondering who it was.
"Is this Meridian Saever?"
"Yes this is she."
"Ms. Saever my name is Joshua Cade I'm from the coast guard." He hesitated and I felt my heart in my throat.
"Yes, is my father, is he?" There was a span of silence.
"I am calling to tell you that there was a storm, and your father, his ship went down, he was warned about the storm, I am, incredibly, sorry, we were unable to find his, his remains, all that we found was the wreckage of his ship." I couldn't breathe.
"Meridian, Mar." I didn't realize uncle was there until he took the phone from my nerveless fingers.
"Hello who is this?" I watched the blood drain away from his face as the man spoke. I felt cold tears slipping down my face, he was gone, dad, dad was gone. I crumpled to the ground feeling myself shaking. The floor felt cold under my cheek, dimly I felt uncle Charlie kneel next to me.
"Yes, thank you for letting us know, if there is anything else you find please let me know, here is my number." He hung up the phone, then picked me up, I was surprised at his strength, He carried me to the living room and settled on the couch with me.
"He's gone." I felt the sobs come on again, my body shaking with all the emotions, I felt numb, hollow, angry, despair.
I know, I know." He made unintelligible sounds as he held me, somehow I fell asleep after an eternity of crying, or so it seemed.
o0O0o
The next few days passed in a fog, I felt very numb, I mostly slept, Jake called a couple times but I ignored him, uncle Charlie made sure I ate, he reassured me that he was now my guardian. It helped a little, but it took me another three days to really come back to being fully there. Jake had called me almost a dozen times so I decided to meet up with him, I heard his motorcycle and waited for him to come through the door.
"Mer?"
"In the kitchen." I was baking, it was something I did when I was distressed, he leaned against the doorway watching me cook.
"How are you doing babe?" I wrinkled my nose.
"How do you expect me to be, it's been less than a week since I lost my father." I turned away washing my hands, I felt him come up behind me, and kiss my neck, his hands wrapping around my waist. I pulled away going to the oven to pull out cookies, banana bread, and muffins, not looking at him.
"Hey what's going on Meridian, you haven't answered any of my calls, I've come over three times now and Charlie won't let me see you."
"Jacob I've just lost my dad, I don't want to be around a lot of people right now." He came forward to wrap me in a hug, it felt nice until he started to discreetly grind against me. I pushed away from him turning, but he caught my hand frowning down at me.
"Babe I don't understand, why are you being so cold to me." I whirled on him.
"Don't call me babe, and I don't want to have sex right now, or to make out, I just want to work through these next few days in one piece." At the end I was screaming at him, I saw him beginning to tremble a little.
"What the hell Mer I just wanted to comfort you." I shook my head.
"No what you want is to have sex, you can barely keep it in your pants, how could you think that that is what I want right now?"
"I don't know maybe it's because I thought we were past this step of you acting all shy, wouldn't sex make you feel better, or at least a little cuddling?" I shook my head.
"Just because we've slept together doesn't mean that I'm gunna want sex every time your ready. Why would you think I was acting, I don't get why you can't understand where I'm coming from?"
"I guess I thought you would want me as badly as I've wanted you these past few days, I just don't understand why you are giving up on us, on life, yeah your father died but I'm sure he would want you to continue living, so what's wrong with having a little fun?" I counted to ten then breathed deeply.
"No, like I said, sex is very very low on the things I want right now, I want my father back. How dare you presume what my father would want. Don't tell me I"m giving up on life, I'm not but people grieve differently. I'm not giving up on us, I'm telling you that I need you to understand where I"m coming from. God I don't have the energy for this, please go away Jake, we can talk about this in a week or two, for now I need my space." Jake looked steamed.
"I'm trying to help, and your pushing me away, what are you going to be like Bella now pushing everyone away, I guess you two do have something in common. I perfectly understand, I think I'm done here, I've tried to be the loyal boyfriend, there have been lots of girls whose interest I've passed up, if you can't appreciate what you had with me then we're done." I goggled at him, it was as if we were speaking two different languages which had no common background.
"Fine then, get out of this house, I don't want to see you for a very long time, god I thought you had grown up but I can see that you are still the selfish kid inside, the one who would push me down for laughs." He sneered.
"I can see the fragile little girl who missed her mommy and would cry about her daddy because he didn't pay enough attention to her poor pathetic Meridian everyone loves you then leaves you." I was now shaking I wanted to hurt him so badly.
"Get, the fuck, out of, this, house." I whispered, he must have seen the killing rage in my eyes for he backed away, regret on his face now.
"I'm sorry I went too far, please, just, I'm stupid, please forgive me, yeah we can talk about all of this later." I shook my head.
"No, Jake your right, we're done, now get the fuck out or I will call the cops." His expression turned to frustration, and condescension.
"I'm trying to apologize, why can't you accept it? Why does everything have to be about you? Can't you see how your hurting me, just let's let this go huh, start over, let's give it a few days, just say sorry and it will be like nothing happened."
"Now Jacob, get out." He glared at me shaking his head, he turned and stomped out of the house, I didn't understand why he was acting this way, he had been really sweet, but now this. I let myself slide to the floor, how I had more tears I did not know, but they were there, I was just glad that I had turned off the oven.
Bella found me there some time later, she had avoided me these past few days but I guess when you find someone slumped over in a kitchen it's not something to ignore.
"Hey Meridian, what's going on, talk to me." I looked up, my face was a reck with snot and tears all over the it.
"Jacob, he, we're done." I explained a bit more through tears.
"Oh." I hiccuped a laugh.
"This must be great for you/" I said looking away.
"What, no, Meridian, we might be having issues, but that doesn't mean I want you to hurt, to be unhappy." I glanced up at her feeling surprised.
"I, I don't understand."
"Look I think we got off on the wrong foot, yeah your right I was stupid, and sometimes I just don't know how to say things without putting my foot into it. Edward means a lot to me, I know he can seem overly protective, but I don't always mind that. So I'm sorry, for being a bitch, for almost killing myself, can we just, I don't know, come to a truce or something, please?" I paused hardly believing what I was hearing.
"Okay, sure, and I'm sorry for being judgmental, for being a bitch as well." She hugged me and I burst into tears again, she hummed something smoothing a hand down my hair.
"He's a jackass, he can be a god guy, but how he treated you is not cool, more than not cool, he's, he's a bastard for being so cold hearted. Here let me held you get up, all that baking smells amazing by the way." She helped me up, then she helped me wrap everything up, we put a plate of goodies together, then went to the living room to binge Harry Potter movies.
"Thank you." I said a little while later as The Goblet of Fire ended, we were tucked into nests of blankets half asleep.
"For what?"
"Helping me, forgiving me, I think your great, and I want to apologize to Edward as well."
"It's okay, you don't have to, but I"m sure he would appreciate it." She mumbled
"Sure, later." I mumbled as well I was exhausted, these last few hours had given me a chance to not think about everything, so I let myself drift into sleep thankful that at least Bella and I had mended things between us. My last thoughts were on my uncle grateful that he was there for me.
Author's Note: Thanks for taking the time to read, please review!