Chapter 27

Blue moonlight.

Loneheart finally arrived to the bustling clatter of all four clans at the gathering.

Immediately he saw a pair of eyes on him, almost as if someone had been looking for him. It was Yarrowleaf, who, though far away, ran over to greet him, "Where have you been? I thought you'd run off or something,"

"I just, wanted to stay out there for a while,"

"Okay. Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you seem upset," Loneheart didn't have a response to give for that. He thought that he had been feeling good, but Yarrowleafs comment made him reconsider just what he was feeling.

He wasn't upset, or maybe he was, but he was still feeling good enough, so he told himself to just hold on to that feeling and not let his own anxieties ruin what short time was left in the day, "So what are you going to do now?" Yarrowleaf asked, pulling Loneheart back out of his head,

"I don't know, I'll just find someone to talk to, I guess" He was going to find Rustpaw, but it felt strange to tell Yarrowleaf that,

"Okay. I'll be over there if you want to talk," Yarrowleaf said awkwardly, and slowly moved away in the same direction she had come from.

Loneheart watched her go, one of the only friends he had, and he felt lonely, though he wouldn't have wanted her to stay with him, not really.

He walked along the perimeter of the gathering waiting for Rustpaw to call his name as he always did.

Loneheart noticed that Windclan cat again, the one with his back to Fourtrees and his eyes locked on the plains of his territory.

Breezestripe was his name, Loneheart remembered.

He was dark in color, almost as much so as the night itself.

Loneheart was debating talking to him, when a voice, just as predicted, strung out his name,

"Lonepaw!" He turned to see Rustpaw sprinting toward him. It felt like years since their eyes had last met, "Hey man!" Rustpaw said as he approached, "I've been searchin for ya for moons now man. How have you been?"

"I've been fine," Loneheart lied, afraid already of sharing too much,

"Well that's just alright man! Come on, we got all o' everyone sat over there," They walked side by side, heading directly through the mounds of cats, sat waiting for their leaders to share their news.

Herding themselves through the waves that stood before them proved a challenge, as very few cats would be willing to move themselves unless removed forcefully from their spots.

Unlike waves, Loneheart found himself having to be the river, finding any way possible to squeeze himself around the rocks that stood in his way.

It was shockingly bright tonight, with the stars and moon beaming through the thin clouds, leaving almost visible streams of light to fall upon the night.

As the crowd died down the further they went, so did the speed at which they moved, and quickly Loneheart saw their final destination, the small group of huddled young cats that he supposed was his group now. He had never really thought of that before.

These cats were his friends, even if only for one night out of the moon, or at the very least, were friendly with him.

Then was when Rustpaw broke loose from his side, gone to, presumably, re-greet the cats he had designated together.

Loneheart followed slowly behind, letting each step stay short, until he was too close to keep idling by.

The Shadowclan apprentice that Loneheart remembered as Thawpaw was talking, "Nobody really knows what happened-Hey! It's you! I thought you'd gone off with other cats or something man," Loneheart realized she was talking to him, but didn't really have a response to give her.

Suddenly the eyes of the whole group were on him. There, was Rustpaw, Thawpaw, Aspenpaw, Acornpaw, Flypaw, Flamepaw, and Gorsepaw. Sandpaw seemed to be the only cat who was missing.

Rustpaw spoke up in place of Loneheart, "Man, I'd best reintroduce you a couple of us," He started. To Thawpaw he pointed and said, "That's Thawfire now, she got 'er name last moon, or maybe the one 'fore that actually, but you weren't here o'course. And Flame over there," He pointed at Flamepaw, "Got his name same time, Flameheart he's got," Flameheart bowed his head a bit awkwardly without saying a word,

"How about you?" Loneheart asked, "Did you get yours yet?"

"Not yet man, but soon. I passed my final thing an now all I gotta do is wait a few more days,"

"I got mine," Loneheart blurted out. It felt a bit selfish to share his own accomplishment, but it was too late when he thought of it,

"Really man? I thought you was pretty young, young as Gorsepaw, right?"

"Yeah, I don't know, I just, got it I guess," Loneheart realized he wasn't making much sense, but Rustpaw still seemed to understand,

"Well then what is it man? Don't keep me too long in suspense," He took a deep breath, and lowered his voice slightly, though he knew the rest of the cats would still be able to hear him, although a couple of them were talking amongst themselves now,

"Loneheart,"

"Well that's great man! That's just alright!" Rustpaws voice was encouraging, but in his eyes there laid a glint of sympathy and perhaps anger.

He turned away quickly though, probably wanting to conceal his thoughts and get back to whatever discussion was now occurring with most of the other cats.

As Loneheart turned his attention to them, he saw that they were all laughing over something that one of them had said.

For a second he watched as they laughed, smiling with cheerful young glee.

He felt as though he had missed out on these small, sweet moments, that burst of joy when around those you love.

The only cats who weren't laughing were Rustpaw, who was trying his best, and Acornpaw, who looked stressed and out of place, even sitting beside his brother.

Loneheart walked up a couple steps to sit next to Rustpaw as the Shadowclan tom spoke, "Well, we got everyone here. Suppose we should start sharin the news,"

Thawfire was the first to step forward, presenting the news for Shadowclan, "We got very little for this moon, I think. Silvereyes still out there somewhere-" Loneheart felt a wave of shock and guilt, "-Don't know when he'll get back. Other than that, there isn't much to say. Weather's been doin a bit poor for prey, but it's nothing to worry about,"

She stepped back, and there was a sort of silence for a moment, as if none of the other cats wanted to go next.

Loneheart knew he sure didn't want to.

Eventually, Flypaw stepped forward to share the news next, but before she could start speaking, Aspenpaw cut in front of her and began up on his own, "Riverclan has been a bit off lately, I must say. We chased a rogue out of our territory, and we had a close call with one of our warriors in the river, but overall, something has just been seeming wrong with the clan. Everyone's on edge and paranoid,"

"Do you know what of man?" Rustpaw asked,

"I don't know," Aspenpaw responded, "Something in the air, I guess,"

"Thanks As. Loneheart, how bout you go next man, what's been goin on with Thunderclan,"

"Uh," Loneheart took a moment to think. Aspenpaw shrank back, looking as if he still had more to report, "There was a fox in our territory that we got rid of," That wasn't true. He just needed to say something, "There's, not much else. I uh, got my name, but that's about it,"

"Alright man, we'll keep our eyes out for a fox. Flameheart, you wanna go?"

"Yeah. So, uh, we had a rough moon. Cloverthroat died, while giving birth," A small murmur of grief was uttered by the group, though Loneheart found that he couldn't feel the same sympathy for this cat he had never met.

And then he felt guilty, "One of her kits died too. But the other four are all relatively healthy, given the fact they're essentially now being raised in the Medicine Cat Den. But yeah, uh, it was just a hard thing to deal with at this time,"

"I'm sorry man," Rustpaw spoke, his head down and his voice audibly pained.

The mood had deepened now, and Loneheart patiently awaited the next batch of conversation.

He noticed that Acornpaw had wandered off a few paw steps, with his face pointed away from the group, though his eyes were still pricked to listen in on them.

Something was wrong with him, and Loneheart wanted to try and help him.

He set pace towards the Riverclan Medicine Cat apprentice, nobody seeming to take notice of his leave, not even Rustpaw.

Loneheart was growing weary of the night and wondered when the leaders would begin their speeches. It could only be a few minutes more.

As he approached the turned back of Acornpaw, the apprentice pressed his ears to his head and compressed himself to be as small as he could, "What's wrong?" Loneheart asked, an odd question as it rolled off his tongue.

At first, Acornpaw refused the question, keeping his mouth shut and his back turned.

Loneheart stepped forward to sit beside him and leaned his head down to look into his eyes.

They looked back, deep and red across the sea of gray that was his face.

There was almost no blue left in around his pupils where there usually was.

For a while their eyes stared into one another.

A glimpse of yellow, like stars, appeared in Acornpaws eye for just a second, and then he turned away in a dramatic way, "I just-I'm sorry for crying,"

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Acornpaw cried, shielding his head with his paws, "I'm scared,"

"Of what?"

"Starclan I guess. They haven't answered my calls. They've been completely quiet to me," Loneheart felt uncomfortable very fast.

Acornpaw lifted himself back up and turned to face him, "I know you might not care much, but Starclan is very important to me," Loneheart was confused, as he had never shared his distaste and rejection of Starclan to anyone,

"Why wouldn't it be important to me?" Acornpaw looked away a bit at the prompt, but still spoke,

"Well, I know you weren't born here, so I just assumed that it might not be as important for you," He chose his words delicately. Loneheart was even more shocked now,

"How do you know that?" As far as he knew, Barkstar had forbidden any cat from revealing that Loneheart wasn't clanborn,

"Berryflight told me. Medicine Cats tell each other things a lot,"

"Well, that wouldn't change anything, would it?" He said, referring to the importance of Starclan to him,

"No, I guess not. I'm sorry that I brought it up. Can I ask you a question though,"

"Okay,"

"Do you believe in Starclan?"

"Well, I believe they're there if that's what you're asking," Responded Loneheart, the only thing he could think to say. Paw steps behind them made both of them turn their heads.

It was Aspenpaw, who stopped moving as he met their eyes, "What's going on Ac? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," The brother responded. Aspenpaw padded up next to Acornpaw and rested his head on his shoulder,

"You can tell me, you know that,"

"I was just feeling a bit bad tonight, that's it, but I'm fine now,"

"Are you?"

"Of course I am," There was an underlie of something Loneheart couldn't define in Acornpaws voice.

There was a still silence in the air as Aspenpaw pulled his head up and stepped back to create a small circle between the three of them.

Loneheart looked over at the group they had withdrawn from.

The other cats were talking, waiting for the leaders to start up, except for Rustpaw, who looked over back at him.

He gave Loneheart a sad, understanding smile, and then turned back to his group, "Loneheart, how have you been lately?" Aspenpaw asked while he was distracted,

"Uh, I don't, know,"

"I think I've been feeling the same way,"

"As," Acornpaw started, "Do you believe in Starclan?"

"You know the answer to that,"

"I want to hear you say it," Aspenpaw paused,

"No, no I don't,"

"Why not?" Loneheart asked,

"I would love to believe in something after death, you know? I wish I could just live out my days lazing in the stars and eating as much as I can, but I can't believe that Starclan would let happen what has and what is happening. They could've at least told me something," He mumbled the last bit to himself,

"Aspenpaw," Acornpaw started softly, but was immediately cut off,

"I can say my piece! I don't need you mothering me and telling me how disappointing my feelings are!"

"Cats talk about you, As!"

"Let them talk then! I don't care what they say, why should you?" There was silence again.

Loneheart noticed a few cats, both from Rustpaws direction, and other miscellaneous bystanders look over after Aspenpaws last words. Eventually, from Acornpaw, "I'm sorry,"

"I'm sorry too," Aspenpaw said, not missing a beat. And after that, there was only more silence.

Loneheart felt a bit awkward in the middle of this. He wasn't even sure what to call it.

It wasn't exactly an argument or a spat, nor was it a moment sympathetic apology or comfort.

It was somewhere in between.

Two cats who really cared about each other but were afraid of each other's feelings,

"So what now?" Aspenpaw asked, to no one in particular,

"What do you mean?" Loneheart asked in return,

"What happens now, after tonight. What's going to happen?"

Loneheart didn't have much of an answer for the question, and it didn't seem like Acornpaw did either, until he spoke up,

"Everything's going to be just fine, I think. Nothing that bad ever really happens, we've all just been worrying too much," Loneheart could tell that he didn't believe what he was saying.

Loneheart found that he had to agree with what both apprentices were implying. He wasn't sure of the days to come anymore.

For such a long time, the days blended together, one after another, all the same every time, but now he was unsure of the future,

"Yeah, yeah I think that's it," Loneheart added,

"What is?" Aspenpaw asked,

"I'm confident in the future," He lied, "We were just worrying,"

"What does your future look like, do you think?" Loneheart took a moment to process the question,

"Well, I'll just, be the best warrior I can be for the clan,"

"Yeah, me too," Aspenpaw agreed, his eyes set on the ground beneath him, "What about you Ac?"

"Uh, I'm just worrying for no reason. I'll be the best Medicine Cat that you've ever seen, I'm sure of it. I don't know why I was worried, the future is bright,"

They were all lying, it was clear.

None of them knew what tomorrow held,

"Oh, here! I almost forgot, I got you something," Aspenpaw exclaimed suddenly.

Swiftly he bounded off behind some nearby trees. A few moments later he reappeared carrying something in his jaws.

As he got closer Loneheart could make out that it was a squirrel, "I got you this before everybody got here," Aspenpaw explained as he laid it down before Acornpaw, "This should make you feel better,"

"Thanks," Acornpaw said, a soft, kindhearted smile arising from his face. The squirrel looked stale, despite having just been caught,

"Let's go join back with everyone else," Aspenpaw suggested, and soon they were heading back,

"You three doin good?" Rustpaw asked as they approached,

"We're fine," Acornpaw said as he sat down beside him,

"That's good to hear," Finally, a yowl struck out through Fourtrees signifying the start of the leader's news.

It was Barkstar who called it, and he was also the first one on the great rock.

The other leaders followed quickly, none of them wanting to get left behind, "Thank you all for waiting so patiently for us to begin," The Thunderclan leader's strong voice strung out, "The moon is bright as Starclan shines its fortune on us. Thunderclan has been blessed with further health and prosperity,"

Loneheart looked around to see that all the cats in front of him looked exactly the same.

He looked back at the group, Rustpaw wasn't paying all that much attention, Gorsepaw was off on his own, looking nervous as ever, and Acornpaw was eating his squirrel, but was still attentive to the words being spoken.

Loneheart wasn't though, and he missed the last part of Barkstars speech.

When he finally turned his attention back to the center of Fourtrees, Windclans leader, Dawnstar, had stepped forward, "This moon has been a mournful one for Windclan. One of our warriors, Cloverthroat, passed away while giving birth. Her kits, four of them, are all healthy and being taken care of with the right treatment, but our winds have been quiet as we grieve the loss of our departed,"

There were sad murmurs felt throughout the clan cats, a bigger mimic of the reaction when Flameheart had told it.

Behind him, Acornpaw was coughing, "You good man?" Rustpaw, who was sitting next to him, asked.

Acornpaw didn't respond but steadied himself.

A few cats turned back to look at them with scorn in their eyes, which made Loneheart immediately turn his head in shame, despite the fact he wasn't involved with any of the noise making.

It was Shadowclan's turn to speak, although Loneheart didn't know the name of the Shadowclan leader,

"Shadowclan has been well this moon, though we have yet to find news on the whereabouts of Silvereye. We now must accept that he, for reasons that escape me, abandoned his clan to live life as a rogue,"

Acornpaws coughing started up again, but this time it didn't seem to slow down, "Prey has run well and-"

The Shadowclan leader attempted to continue, but soon the attention had shifted to the Riverclan apprentice, "Man, what's wrong?" Rustpaw asked, concerned, "Ac!"

Acornpaw collapsed to the ground in a sort of fit and instantly was surrounded as cats began charging up to see what the matter was.

Loneheart caught a glimpse of something red in his mouth before he was pushed aside, the Medicine Cats from all the clans pushing through the cats who had created a circle around Acornpaw.

All of the cats backed off except for Rustpaw, who tried and failed to push past the hoard, "What's wrong with him man? What's going on?" His voice was shaking but was still audible over the chaotic sounds of all four clans crowding around the apprentice.

Loneheart was afraid now.

His friend lay hurt, or sick, and he wasn't able to get to him.

He looked around frantically, trying to look for anything that could help.

He quickly noticed that he couldn't find Aspenpaw, whom he thought would be as panicked as Rustpaw at the situation, "He's been poisoned,"

The words broke through the air as Berryflight announced it.

The sky stood silent, even the rushing river could be heard now.

Loneheart felt his legs shake, and then he too collapsed to the ground, his mouth dry and his eyes in shock, "Please," Berryflight urged, "Go back home now. This gathering is at an end. There's nothing we can do for him,"

Although it took a moment, the warriors in the front of the circle began herding their friends and others back.

Not a sound other than steps on the ground could be heard, and the soft sobs of shocked cats.

Even Rustpaw slowly moved away with the rest of his clan. Loneheart needed to see it though.

He gathered the strength he had left and barged past the warrior in front of him who was trying to restore order.

The cat called after him but didn't give chase.

He stopped as he saw him, and fell back to the ground in a defeated sorrow.

There, now left only lifeless against the cold dirt, blood feeding the earth from a stream out of his mouth, was Acornpaw.

Until I write again,

-Gojira