Summary: Edward left Bella in the fall of 2005, and the Olympic coven never returned. Eight years later, the United States had a massive outbreak due to the Cordyceps Brain Infection on September 26th of 2013. Containment failed and the rate of infection skyrocketed, causing the world to go into a global pandemic. Social order crumbled and civility no longer exists. It is now to the imagination of Edward and his family to wonder if his former lover is alive, dead, or one of the infected.
I do not own the "Twilight" characters or story building of "The Last of Us". The rights belong strictly to Stephenie Meyer and Naughty Dog. This story is purely for creative purposes.
Warning(s): this story will contain descriptions of violence, acts of violence, gore, language, and sexual scenes/situations. If any of these make you uncomfortable, please refrain from reading.
Chapter 4: Clarity
I was being a coward.
After Carlisle's confrontation, I had been avoiding him.
I had weighed in on my options of what would happen if I went in search of Bella. There was a good percentage that she was already dead, either she had been attacked by one of the infected in the early stages of the pandemic, become one of the infected and had been killed by other humans that were unaffected by the disease, or she had been murdered by other humans.
Finding her corpse was something that I don't think I could stomach.
There was still a glimmer of hope, however, a tiny voice that sat in the very back of my conscience that whispered false narratives to me. Maybe there was chance that she was alive. Maybe she slept in a warm bed every night, with food and drink in her belly to keep her sustained and content. Maybe she had found a community that kept her safe from the reaches of those who wanted to do her harm, whether they were the infected or other humans that had grown too comfortably in this lawless world.
I had no way of officially knowing, unless I actually went out after her to find the truth once and for all.
Carlisle dropped the conversation entirely and didn't once mention it after that night. He had thrown in his two cents regarding the situation, and he didn't push the matter any further with me. He still continued on and interacted with, as if everything were business as usual.
Emmett and Esme were still concerned about me, however. Esme's motherly instincts had not wained, in fact, they were stronger than ever over the course of the last several years. She, along with Emmett, Alice, and Carlisle, would actively encourage me to hunt. She would even refuse to go hunting by herself, requesting me to accompany her on hunts. She wanted to make sure that I was still getting my nourishment and quenching my thirst, as sick as our diets were.
Emmett still tried to spend some one on one time with me. There would be times that he would try to initiate wrestling matches, like he would with Jasper, with me, and would sometimes accompany Esme and I on our hunts. Emmett kind of refused to leave me alone, he sometimes always spent his time with me, when he wasn't spending it with Rosalie. He still maintained his carefree, good natured persona, giving stark contrast to my withdrawn sullenness. I shouldn't be surprised, though. Matter of fact, that's how it's always been since Emmett had been changed by Carlisle in 1935. So, I guess, nothing's really changed in that aspect of my existence.
Alice was doing everything in her power to see if she could even get Bella in a vision, but it was hopeless. The situation for everyone was consistently changing, meaning nothing was set in stone and that a vision that Alice would get was certain to change. Truthfully speaking, I think that Alice had disregarded me entirely when she was searching for Bella in these visions. With pure intentions, all that she really wanted to know was that if her friend was alive or dead. Overtime, she was starting to get anxious... or maybe desperate was a more appropriate word.
Any vision that Alice would get, I would do my best to tune her out. I didn't want to know of the possibilities of finding her mutilated, decayed corpse on some abandoned city street.
I was really trying to live in ignorant bliss at that point.
Rosalie and Jasper had written me off as a lost cause. Mainly Rosalie.
They had believed that Bella was dead, that she was one of the first ones to go when the Outbreak had initially happened in the early days of the pandemic. The both of them were starting to become annoyed with me because this was something that I couldn't let go. Both Rosalie and Jasper knew, even I knew, that Bella was no fighter. Hell, had I not stepped in for Bella when she was nearly attacked by those drunk men in Port Angeles all those years ago, there was a good possibility that she could have died that very night.
She could have met the same fate that Rosalie had. There was still a possibility that it had happened, even now.
All of us were totally in the dark, until one afternoon.
We had traversed from the city of Clovis, New Mexico to up further north. We were nearing the town of Monte Vista, Colorado, on the lookout for a heard of deer or maybe the elusive mountain lion, though we weren't actively hunting. We were pushing through empty plains and deserted farmlands, passing by destroyed piles that I imagine once used to be large hay bales. Near us was the Colorado State 15 Highway.
"What if we renovated a house that we all liked?" Rosalie suggested, turning to face us as she walked backwards, a small smile beginning to form on her face and her eyes were hopeful. "Find a permanent place to live, now that the humans are few and far between?"
"And what if we come across the odd human?" I sullenly asked, my attitude a stark contrast to hers.
"We'll make it impossible for the humans to find," she countered, "make it only accessible for only us." She imagined finding a house where it was on the highest peak of a mountain top, where it would be too dangerous for the humans to venture due to the height and the altitude.
I caught her eyes in passing, and I felt my eyes become unnecessarily hard. Whatever hope that she had left in her eyes, it dwindled the moment that she looked back at me.
"No need to be such a buzz kill, Edward." I heard her mentally whisper.
I sighed and let my gaze fall down to the dead grass beneath my feet, trudging further on while trying to filter out the rest of my families voices and thoughts. My mood was turning sour.
In the far distance, we could see the outline of buildings that indicated the town of Monte Vista. We heard the moans and roars of the infected as we neared closer to the town. Just like many of the other towns and cities that we had passed through or nearby, there was no sign of human life. Only the infected, nature that had overgrown and taken over the infrastructure, and the remnants of the things in place where humanity once occupied it.
Sticking to the main road that led into the heart of the town, we passed by numerous abandoned vehicles and an ambulance bus that had been turned on its side. Looking closely at the partially opened cab, I could see the flow of spores exiting out into the environment. I edged closer to the bus, seeing a gigantic brown stain of dried blood on one of the doors. I gingerly lifted one of the doors and peered inside the cab to see a various array of medical supplies scattered throughout the cab, as well as the stench of two decomposing bodies.
One was dressed in an EMT uniform, while the other, the patient I'm assuming, was strapped down to a gurney that was turned upside down, near the body of the EMT. The patient was completely overgrown with the cordyceps, being the culprit for the spores. I peered closer at the EMT to find that they were holding a scalpel in one hand, while the other loosely gripped an aged bite wound on the junction of their neck and their shoulder. It wasn't hard to figure out that the infected patient had attacked the EMT while they were trying to administer care to them, and in their own defense, used the scalpel to stab the patient.
How the bus was turned on its side was beyond me, but many a things are beyond my comprehension at the current moment.
I heard the shuffle of Emmett come up behind me to also see what I was looking at.
"Poor bastards."
I leaned away from the cab, and allowed the door to swing back shut.
I should have been more mindful of how loud the bang was, as it attracted the sound of a nearby Clicker. The infected charged out of an old, broken down music store, its arms flailing about in a rage.
I simply stared at it as it came nearer and nearer to us. If I was human, I'm sure that I would have been terrified of what was coming towards me. Really, all I felt was bored.
My vision of the Clicker distorted as it came closer, unknowingly had I tapped into Alice's head as a vision overtook her senses.
The surrounding environment had changed from an abandoned townscape to that of a heavily forested area. The Clicker trampled through the marsh, eager to attack whatever target was ahead of them, its arms flailing about, as usual.
The sound of a gunshot went off, and the Clicker went down.
Another person entered into the field of view, but neither Alice or I could see their face. We could both tell that it was a woman, though, as they were much smaller in stature and they wore a long singular braid. They were dressed in a paramilitary uniform, with a pistol at their thigh and a rifle that was held in their hands, ready to fire on the Clicker if it so much as moved. There was a WLF patch sewn in on one of the sleeves of their jacket. On their hip hung a respirator mask, for which Alice and I assumed were for when the woman would go into enclosed spaces where there were spores that breathed into the environment.
It became apparent that every human needed a respirator when they were in this world. Spores still posed a dangerous threat, just as much as a bite mark did.
They slowly approached the Clicker, as if they wanted to make sure that their singular gunshot had killed the infected. We could see that as they got closer, several bits of the fungi that had protruded the head of Clicker had been blown off, and blood was starting to pool the floor of the forest where the bullet had exited from the Clicker's head.
"Headshot," the woman said, a tinge of pride to her voice.
That voice. I knew that voice.
"Hey, Swan!" a man had called out, causing the woman to break her attention off the dead Clicker and look up over her shoulder. Warm, brown eyes came into view.
I found myself no longer weighed down to the earth, as I felt the stone in my chest that I once called my heart began to soar.
Several yards behind her was another man, dressed in the same paramilitary uniform that she was in. "Did you get them?" he asked. It became abundantly clear that the two of them were on a patrol run to clear out any infected that were unfortunate enough to be occupying the area.
"Target neutralized," she responded.
The vision cut off, and both Alice and I were back in reality with our family in Monte Vista, Colorado. I looked over to see that Jasper was quick to put the Clicker out of its misery.
"What is it? What happened?" Emmett asked, impatience colored his tone. He was really the only one in the family that expressed irritation and annoyance with the telepathic connection that both Alice and I experienced with each other. A psychological link, if you will. Emmett hated being out of the loop and being left in the dark.
"Bella's alive," Alice answered, a small smile beginning to form on her face. "She's aged some... but she's alive."
"What?" This came from Rosalie, who expressed blatant shock and surprise. The first part of her answer was said verbally, but what followed was expressed in her confines of her mind. "The accident-prone human? The one who clearly had two left feet and could barely fend for herself, and had danger follow her at every turn? Isabella Swan?!"
I shared some of that sentiment, along with the other members of my family.
"Bella Swan is alive?" Carlisle asked, the same emotions echoed on his face and in his eyes. "What was your vision, Alice?"
"She's a WLF soldier," Alice said, and this even caught both Jasper and Emmett by surprise, even though they already were taken by surprise to begin with. "She goes on patrols with different teams of surviving humans and clears out groups of infected in, which I'm assuming, areas that are under control of the WLF."
"Bella Swan the human is an actual soldier. Huh, how 'bout that," Jasper thought, making him think back to his days in the Texas Confederate calvary before he was turned into a vampire. "I wonder how handy she is with a gun."
"She's actually... pretty good at it," I said, answering Jasper's mental question. "In Alice's vision, she took down a Clicker with a headshot with a rifle. Bella's clearly had some experience with that rifle."
"Especially if she's survived this long, my God," Emmett muttered under his breath. "No offense Edward, but I thought that she would be one of the first ones to go when this whole shitstorm began."
"Emmett!" Esme chastised, appalled by what was just said. "That's a rude thing to say." Esme hated to think of what could have happened to Bella after all these years since the CBI pandemic broke out. After hearing what had happened to the human females that were unfortunate enough to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, or in the aggressor's eyes, the right place at the right time, it would often send a shiver down her spine.
"I mean... he's right, though," Rosalie said, backing up what Emmett had just said and still in disbelief of what truth had been revealed. "Bella Swan is a helpless, human being that struggled through the most basic of human motions even before the CBI pandemic began!" She was louder now, almost yelling. "And now magically, we're supposed to believe that this specific human, is capable of wielding a gun, is supposed to be good at it, and is actually an enlisted soldier? Aren't Alice's visions supposed to be subjective?"
I didn't realize that my lips had curled up and my teeth were now bared at Rosalie, a snarl about to rip from my throat.
"It doesn't change the fact that Bella's alive," Alice said, putting a hand on my shoulder, trying to ease me out of my tensed up state. "You know that I wouldn't be able to see her if she was dead, Rose."
"Plus, humans are capable of adapting," Carlisle added, "especially under the threat of death, or being infected with cordyceps. Lord knows that death or infection is at every turn and corner in this world. Maybe we just got comfortable underestimating Bella of change."
Typical of my father to always try and see the bright side of every situation.
"Still, it's not easy to stomach killing, whether it's the infected or an actual human being," Jasper said, crossing his arms over his chest, his head hanging low and his eyes zeroing on the fallen Clicker. "Trust me, I would know. And I don't think that Bella is capable of that kind of thing."
"Well, she clearly is if she's made it this far alive," Alice grumbled, a slight tinge of irritation to her tone. I could see in her mind that she was beginning to believe that our family members were starting to doubt her visions. It was starting to annoy her. "It's almost as if you guys don't believe me or anything."
I felt myself begin to relax the more that I thought about the fact that Bella was alive. Or maybe it was Jasper. I'm not so sure anymore. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, as if breathing were becoming easier and there was no more strain to it.
She was alive and well. She had aged some of course, looking as if she were in her late thirties, or possibly early forties from what Alice's vision had revealed. There were slight crinkles around her eyes, and of what both Alice and I saw, there was a bit more confidence to her, like a self-assuredness to her. A confidence that had grown overtime, one that came with age.
My persona had drastically changed after that. My mood was lighter and I wasn't as sullen as I had previously been.
The more that I thought about Bella, the more that I started to think back to the memories that I shared with her, back from the mid spring to the late summer of the year of 2005. Those were the happiest moments of my existence. The feeling of true love still fresh on my mind.
Of one of the many evenings that I spent with Bella in her bedroom, there was one that particularly stood out to me the more I thought back.
"Do you think maybe I should get some more oil for the window frame?" Bella asked, sitting straight up in her bed, the sheets covering her legs, looking at me as I swiftly climbed through the small opening. "It's starting to get squeaky again every single time we open and close it."
"Probably wouldn't hurt to do that," I said, standing up to my full height. I turned and gently pushed down the window. It let out a hideous squeak as it did. "Yeah, definitely wouldn't hurt to do that."
The junior year for both Bella, Alice, Jasper and I had finally closed out and it was the first few weeks of summer vacation. Bella and I had practically been spending every minute with one another, whether it was at my house, her house, in the meadow, or when we just had quiet nights spent in her bedroom like this one.
Charlie had been spending the majority of his time either down at the police station, fishing on the river with his friends the Clearwaters, or watching sports games with the Blacks. It at least gave me some space to not have the police chief of Forks, Washington breathing down my neck at every possible turn with the moments that I spent with her daughter. He still hadn't forgiven me for what had happened over the spring break, what with the whole James and Victoria situation and with Bella either nearly losing her life or being turned into a vampire. The latter, of course, he didn't know about. It was easy to keep the other humans in the dark.
"Wow, it's almost as if I saw you several hours ago," she joked as I sauntered closer to her bed.
I chuckled. "Hello again, my love," I said as I leaned down to kiss the crown of her head. I deeply inhaled her scent through my nose as it buried into her hair. The sensation sent a current through my like as if my body were a live wire. I would think that the more I spent time with Bella, being near her, breathing her scent, or listening to the sound of her heart beat or the rush of blood through her vessels, that I would become more desensitized to it. That was almost always never the case. Somehow, it always fueled the flow of excess venom into my mouth and stirred the more primal side of me awake.
It took great effort to try and put that side of me back to its dormant state. I was a gentleman. I could be civilized like my father was.
Still, I couldn't resist the smell. It was the least bit of satisfaction that I could afford myself.
I held myself in that position a few seconds too long before I stood up again. Bella had scooted over on one side of the bed to allow me space to take up the other side. I followed the motions like we had done the previous nights and laid beside her on the bed.
"How does it feel to finally have the walking boot off?" I asked as Bella curled up on top of me, her check resting up against my chest. Earlier this week, Carlisle had given her the all clear that she could finally be free of the "dreaded walking boot". Her words, not mine.
"It feels fantastic," she said. I felt her facial muscles twist up into a smile. "I can finally scratch itches that I couldn't reach before, I can shave my leg, and I can finally wear two of the same shoes. It's really the simple things, you know?"
I couldn't help but let a soft laugh escape from me. "The simple things, of course."
We laid there in silence for several minutes. I listened to the slow rate of her breathing, the steady beat of her heart. It skipped a beat whenever I started to run my fingers through her hair, softly caressing her where I could.
"Alice foresees my family and I planning a specific birthday party in September for a certain person," I said, breaking the silence. "Do you know anybody with a birthday in September?"
She let out a loud groan and turned her head so her face was directly in my chest. "Oh gosh, don't remind me." Her voice came out muffled. Alice had foreseen this, too.
"Why the pushback all of a sudden?" I asked, angling my head down to stare at the top of hers.
"I hate being celebrated." Still muffled.
"Hey." I lifted a finger to rest underneath her chin so I could have her look me in the eyes. It didn't take much strength to force her head up as her eyes came into view of mine. "Your birth is definitely something to celebrate. My family and I, of all people, would know."
"Save for Rosalie, though."
"Rosalie may be stubborn, but she'll come around eventually. She can't hold a grudge forever." I would certainly hope not, at least. I would have to enlist the help of both Jasper and Emmett if that was the case. "She'll see how much you mean to me in the end."
"I know I've asked this before, but why does she dislike me so much? I don't think I've done anything to make her hate me."
"You remember how I said to you that it's because you're human?"
She nodded, resting her chin right on my pectoral muscle.
"Well, it's not only that. After I had saved Tyler's van from crushing you that day before school, she thought that you wouldn't keep your word on what had actually happened. She thought that you would go around telling the other humans about what I had done, which would have put all of us at risk. And Rosalie really isn't the fondest of consistently moving around and starting a new life somewhere else. As little of a town that Forks may be, Rosalie actually quite enjoys living here. She hates the fact that she and Emmett will have to eventually move away when the fall semester starts for them when they go for university."
"I see."
"A little after that event had happened, and you hadn't gone around telling everyone what had actually happened, she started to realize that you were good for your word, so she couldn't hold it against you for that. But now... it's really just the humanity thing. What she doesn't understand is why you would be so eager to give it up to be a vampire."
"I think I've explained it enough times for you to know why I want to be a vampire."
"And I've said 'no' enough times for you to know why I don't want you to be a vampire."
"It's silly, Edward."
"You living your life as you normally should, as you humanly should, is not silly, Bella."
"And what happens when I turn old, wrinkly, and gray?" Her tone was defiant now, her eyes stubborn.
"Do you honestly think that I would love you any less for physically aging as you're supposed to?"
Her gaze fell, no longer meeting mine. I must have hit a sore spot.
"I don't... but I do worry about it, sometimes."
I turned us both so we were laying on our sides. I gently grabbed hold of both sides of her face so she look look me square in the eyes. "Isabella Swan, you look at me right now."
Her eyes flitted up to mine, a hint of insecurity hidden behind them.
"No one in my past ninety years has ever made me feel as you do. And had I met you in my human years, after Carlisle had just turned me into a newborn, I would have done my damndest to find my way back to you. No matter how much the thirst would have burned my throat. Know that."
There was a short silence before she responded, most likely digesting the words that were just said to her. Or possibly trying to envision both myself and herself in the early 20th century during the Industrial Age. I never knew with her. My inability to read her mind made that so.
"Really?"
"Yes." There was tone of finality to my voice.
"Okay," she whispered. "I love you."
I lowered my head so my lips could meet hers. She reciprocated me for several seconds before I pulled my face several inches away from hers. "I love you, as well, my Bella. I will love you for every day of my existence. Never doubt that."
The tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. I was quick to wipe them away with the pads of my thumbs. Sometimes, Bella needed to be reminded of how much I truly cared about her. Truthfully speaking, maybe every person needs to be reminded of it, too, whether they were a human or a vampire.
"Always?"
"Always."
I started to hum the lullaby that I had composed for her all the months ago, and her eyelids started to get heavy. She yawned and curled further into me as her heart rate began to slow down and her respiration began to even out. The night closed out for Bella with her falling asleep near me and I kept her wrapped up in my embrace.
There was a voice that echoed in the back of my mind, however, as I tried to remain in bliss with my love. A sour reminder of what I was doing to her the longer that I lingered in her life. The fact that I would continuously keep putting her in danger the more that I stayed with her.
My id and my ego were content with the current situation, but my superego whispered: "This can't last. You know this, Edward."
I looked down at my sleeping human, beginning to dread what I would have to do whenever the situation would arise.
After stopping in Monte Vista, Colorado, my family and I pushed on further north. We did our best to keep out of the larger cities, sticking to the smaller towns and villages that were stationed between each one. We didn't want to draw attention to ourselves should we have accidentally run into the odd faction of humans.
It would have been impossible to do that given our heightened senses, but it was still better to be safe than sorry.
In the central of the continental United States of America, it really did not house much except for miles upon miles of farmlands. As the days changed, so did the environment as the leaves of the trees began to change colors, falling from their branches and decorating the grounds. This signified that the season of summer had ended and that autumn was well on its way.
I hung a little bit further back than the rest of my family, watching their backs as they traversed forward. I hadn't been paying much attention to their thoughts until:
"Edward?"
My ears perked up and surprisingly, it was Rosalie who called my attention.
"Yes?" I asked, curious as to what she wanted to speak to me about.
"Is there anyway that I could speak to you... privately?"
She kept her mind blank, but there was something that eating away at her. Rosalie was wringing her hands together, insinuating that there was something that she desperately wanted to talk to me about, almost as if she were guilty of something.
I nodded at her. "Hey guys, Rose and I are gonna divert off for a second. She and I could use a few minutes for hunting." My family and I always used 'hunting' excuse whenever we need to speak to each other about something, whatever the subject may be. This was really only ever used when we really needed to speak to one another and didn't feel like sharing it with the others.
"Alright, you know how to track us down," Emmett said, paying it no mind.
Alice flashed me a tiny smile over her shoulder, as she was pulled into Jasper's side as he wrapped an around around her waist.
Rosalie was the first to dart off, heading off west from where our coven was. I was quick to follow her, easily keeping the pace with her. After four or five miles of running, we spotted an abandoned farm house. She and I mutually decided that would be the spot to have our discussion. We were well out of earshot of our family so they wouldn't be able to listen in.
I reached the front porch and opened the front door, holding it open for Rose as she walked past me and into the front room. A picture of Bella as an eighteen year old girl flashed in her mind, and I was able to get some notion of what she wanted to talk to me about.
"I never did apologize," Rosalie stated as I turned to close the door. "To you. About what had happened between you and Bella all those years ago. And just several days ago, as well."
I faced her and she looked at me, her golden eyes filled with guilt and remorse.
I quirked my eyebrow at her. "What brought this on, all of a sudden?"
"Alice's vision back in Colorado, kind of put things into perspective for me. About how you view Bella, how much you cared for her then, and how much you still care for her now after all these years have passed since then. I never spoke to you about your human after we left Forks. I never tried to understand how difficult it was for you to leave her, even though you tried to have the best intentions about it."
I simply stared at her as she continued her piece.
"I've been a terrible sister to you, Edward. And for that, I'm incredibly sorry about how I carried myself and how much care I lacked towards you and your emotional state."
"Rose, you don't need to apologize."
"Yes, I do, Edward. I've been nothing but self absorbed and horrendous to you and to Bella, and I want to get this guilt off my mind. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that you haven't caught on to my thoughts these past few weeks."
"Well, if I'm being honest, I've been a little bit distracted since Monte Vista," I said, my thoughts trailing back to Bella as she wore her WLF uniform, while wielding both a rifle and a handgun. "I appreciate the apology, though, Rose."
There was a pregnant pause between us before either one of us spoke.
"Do you... ever think you'll see her again?" she asked, almost hesitantly.
I thought about my answer before I voiced it. "I don't know, Rose, I really don't know." I wondered what my reentrance into Bella's life might look like. How would I even go about it? Would I try to catch her mid-patrol where her human companions couldn't see us? Would I try to stealth my way into the WLF compound of the CenturyLink stadium? There were so many options.
"Well... I think it might do you some good to find her, Edward. Lord knows how much she's lost in this world since the CBI pandemic began. She's clearly lost her home, she's probably lost her family, her friends, and then some. It might do her some good, too."
She and I didn't speak again after her comment. We had both silently agreed that that would be the end of that conversation and journeyed back to be with our family.
Thank you guys so much for reading! Please do leave a review if you guys liked it, they really do make my day and push me to keep writing another chapter for this story and to keep moving forward with it.
Thank you!
-YourMusicalMisfit