Chapter 4 - March to Run or Deflect the Bullet
The loud screech made the two of them wince. They turned back to the vent to find Baron trying to get through the passageway. The key word is 'trying'. His body wasn't made to fit through a small passageway like this. His head popped out first…before then his body as if it was made from play doh. However, his legs were still stuck.
"Whoa!" said Tiffany. "How were you able to fit through there?!"
"I don't know!" said Baron, wiggling around. "I didn't study psychics!"
"Hmm, that would sound like a really good research to study on." Tiffany then turned to the readers to ask them. "What do you think? Shall we discuss more about it?"
"Who are you talking to?" asked Hornet, befuddled.
Tiffany opened her mouth…before finding herself also confused by it.
Baron grunted again, pressing on the wall in an attempt to pull himself out.
There was loud clanging from the other side of the vent passageway.
One Zombie Gangster crawled through the vent passageway, finding that the other side seemed to be blocked. That meant someone was still there.
The sight of smelling pig was enough to encourage him to start running all on fours like an animal. He was drooling as well, slobbering from thinking of cooking Baron over a campfire.
Once he caught up and crashed into whoever was there, he grabbed it.
He blinked, confused why he couldn't pull it out. Or push it out for that matter. In fact, he could tell that they REALLY blocked the vent. With two squishy things!
"Wow!" he said. "I'm actually surprised that they used pillows for this."
"Um…dude?" said his companion from outside. "Those aren't pillows!"
On the other side, Baron couldn't help but giggle at the ticklish sensation of someone rubbing his butt. He was glad that nobody tried to shove a hand right into it, but he could get used to this. Unable to crawl his entire body out, it was just his butt that blocked the vent passageway.
Hornet and Tiffany stared at him for a long time, in awe of how this absurdness actually saved their lives.
Well, not for long if the Zombie Gang had a pitchfork to stab Baron right in the butt.
"It won't take until long when they break right through," said Hornet worriedly. "One more push and we might be done for."
"For me that is," said Baron. "Look around! There's clearly another path and didn't you notice the junk?"
Hornet and Tiffany took one good look at where they were at. Another hallway, but there was equipment scattered everywhere. They appeared to be a little rusty or dusty, but they seemed to be still fresh in a way. Some of the leftover machinery didn't look like it was broken at all. Most of the items seemed to be mostly scraps from cars, airplanes and blacksmith tools.
The craziest thing was that there were three ball machines with at least 6 containers of tennis balls attached to them.
Tiffany's eyes brightened up. "Hornet! Can you check if those ball machines are working?"
"Well, they are on half battery," said Hornet, using his helmet to scan the machines. "Why's that?"
Tiffany smirked. "I think I have a plan."
"Hmm, Tiffany Fluffit, the news reporter, have a plan," said Hornet to himself in his mind. "This is new."
On the other side, several Zombie Gangsters arrived. They were preparing a rocket to be launched right through the vent to clear up what was blocking it up. Once everybody was clear, the woman in charge in firing the rocket started the countdown.
"On one!" she shouted. "TEN! NINE!"
ZOOM!
She pushed down the lever and the rocket went flying right into the vent.
A guy on her right slowly turned to her. If he had his mask off, he would be giving her a stink eye.
"...I got bored," she insisted.
Baron nearly screamed when he felt a large, hot explosion right near his butt. Thankfully, he was set free from the vent and his pants weren't on fire, but he was definitely going to remember the fire that nearly turned his butt into burnt ends. He quickly got up to join Hornet and Tiffany as they turned their ball machines right at the vent.
"Take aim, soldiers!" he commanded. "Here they come!"
They anticipated the worse as they waited for the smoke to clear. Bits of the rocket hung from the vent. This was followed by a loud screech as a couple of Zombie Gangsters came running out and splatting on the floor. Like wild dogs, they got up and leapt upwards to the defiant trio.
"FIRE!" yelled Tiffany.
It was an extraordinary battle that day. When our heroes fight against the psychotic and unexpected Zombie Gangsters. Bursting through that small vent hole, the zombie-mask-wearing creeps flew out like bombers flying through the sky, hoping to crash right into their victims to feed on their death. But our heroes remained strong as they fired the ball machines.
Tennis balls and bodies flew everywhere. More like unconscious bodies, but you get the idea. Every time one of the Zombie Gangsters get hit in the face or too many times, they went flying in a full circle, crumpling on the floor like felled trees. And yet, they persisted. Even some tried to crawl despite Baron taking extra measures by shooting them while they were down. It was a brutal battle…and glorious.
"Gentlemen," said Tiffany in the most serious tone. "I'm glad that we are fighting side by side."
"My aim is never good," commented Hornet, breaking the tension and everything seemed to appear more sillier in real life. "But…I guess I'm improving."
"Imagine that this is a mini gun," said Baron casually as he got one criminal to eat on a tennis ball. "It shoots a lot of projectiles, so you wouldn't need to worry about aiming."
"But there is only one pipe and they don't lock on targets!"
"Does't matter 'cause it's working!" cheered Tiffany. "HA-HA-HA!"
Only worked for 33 seconds when they failed to notice that there were more incoming from the other side of the hallway. Right behind them. It only took them until Tiffany ducking from a flying frying pan when they noticed, turning around.
They were all coming from both sides.
Immediately, Baron threw his ball machine upwards.
Yeah, upwards.
It crashed into the ceiling before bouncing back on the floor. By the time it slid right at the feet of the dumbfounded Zombie Gang members, it was already a broken heap of sad metal.
Hornet and Tiffany turned to Baron with looks of disappointment.
"...I didn't know that the ceiling would be this low, OK?!" hissed Baron.
WHACK!
And he was out like a light when a Zombie Gang member knocked him with the same frying pan. A couple of them already jumped on him, tackling him to the ground.
Tiffany managed to spare herself and Hornet some time by tossing two containers at opposite sides. The tennis balls rolled around the floor, leaving the Zombie Gang helplessly slip from every single one of them.
"What's Plan B?" asked Hornet nervously.
"I actually don't have a Plan B," admitted Tiffany.
"What?!"
"My plan was to keep shooting tennis balls at them! It was foolproof!"
"Now we're doomed…" groaned Hornet, resigned.
He found himself nearly flattened like a pancake when one of the Zombie Gangsters splattered him to the wall with a swatter. Tiffany and Baron gasped in horror when they thought Hornet was killed a swatter. But no swatter could kill him. His attacker grabbed him by the wings, leaving him flailing helplessly.
"DO SOMETHING!" he screamed.
Tiffany looked around, observing the scene. This was bad. Their ball machines were out of the question. The Zombie Gang was already coming to her slowly. All while they laughed wickedly, smack their bats against their palms and twirl around their crossbows. Hornet was captured and Baron was down at the moment. What else could she do?
She then remembered that she kept something in her jacket.
"Everybody stay back!" she said, pulling out a rectangular object wrapped in golden foil. "Or I'll use this!"
"W-What?" said Hornet. "Where did you get that?"
"From your fridge!"
Not keeping her promise on telling the Zombie Gang to stay back, she threw it right at the gangster who was the closest to her…
…and it splattered on his chest in a disgusting mess of yellow, creamy butter. The smell was putrid, but not enough to work like it was sleeping gas. That was the remaining half of the butter Tiffany snatched from the fridge earlier. The Zombie Gang glanced at the guy's ruined shirt and slowly back at her, unable to believe this.
"Can't believe you wasted such good food," muttered Baron.
Tiffany giggled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head.
Eventually, she and Hornet joined Baron in being unceremoniously pinned down on the floor face-first. Ambushed and their wrists tied together. For Hornet's case, he was tied by thick strings and his wings were clipped together by a metal binder clip.
"Sorry…" said Tiffany, forcing a smile on her face.
"Seriously?" asked Hornet as he could only place a hand over his face in annoyance.
Being dangerously close to the main room, Shark and Zee had to barricade the doors. The Zombie Gang tried to break into the laboratory through using chainsaws, but the thick metal cabinet Shark used to block was enough to make the chainsaws break. Curses from the other side as they muttered that they should have brought metal saws.
The sounds of bullets reflecting off the brick walls followed this, but they could hear discussion about if it was worth crumbling the place down with bombs or enjoying the challenge of getting to their victims with bare hands.
Shark cowered behind a table, shivering. He was stuck alone with Doctor Zee. All of his friends were outside since they were in a panic. There was no escape and the trap system wouldn't be effective enough to kick them out. For what he learnt today was to NEVER stay awake for a Purge night.
"I-I-I don't want to-to die…" whimpered Shark. "I'm still on second season of Game of Thrones."
"I don't want to die as well," said Zee softly, slowly grabbing a laser gun he stored from his coat. "It's derivative."
"H-How are we gonna escape?"
"If I could get my hands on one of their weapons or something around here useful, then we could blow all of them up!"
"What about the others?" said Shark. "They are still out there! They can get hurt!"
A thought quickly came to Zee's mind. "Wait a minute…WAIT A MINUTE!"
The lizard leapt onto the table Shark was hiding behind and snatched a phone out from his jacket. And his necklace.
"Hey, man!" said Shark, standing up. "What are you doing?"
"Does your phone have any connections to the security cameras installed?" asked Zee, examining the necklace.
"Erm, yeah? I downloaded an app Webs sent me as a present. Why's that?"
"And done!" exclaimed Zee, managing to guess the correct password.
"Wait, how do you know my password?" asked Shark. "You're not Webs."
Zee smirked, tossing the necklace back to him. "I examined how many freckles are on your tooth necklace plus how long it had been hanging there for minus the hypothenuse of how many teeth you have and all divided by the absolute value of your blood type to make it equal to the password you have."
"Erm, and what does that mean?"
"The government says 'guessing your birth year'," snarked Zee before clicking onto the security camera app. "Now, let's see from here."
The lizard and the shark looked through the phone to access the current live footage. They clicked on the square that contained footage of the current activity going on in the main room of the hideout. It was already crowded with gangsters who decided to stay around for the night. There were others still trying to break into the laboratory and those entering other doors in search of their friends, but they seemed to be more than happy about screwing around.
A couple of them were already finishing off the leftover popcorn dirtying the entire place or taking some from the buttery pot. A group had their masks off as they were fighting over one of Shark's disguise cabinets. A couple of the gangsters were dancing around Wolf's car with one standing on top of the meteorite. They seemed to be making a TikTok with VERY uncomfortable dance moves.
"My disguises," whined Shark, slouching. "They're gonna dirty them."
"Hold on, space child," said Zee, patting Shark's shoulder. "You see that meteorite there? It looks like they are just…I don't know what's the word."
"Ignoring it?"
"Somewhat. But a meteorite like this with such power would have attracted those suckers. Why isn't the leader even inspecting that thing?"
It clicked inside Shark's head when he remembered what he heard about the Zombie Gang. He knew that they were a dangerous bunch, but the gang NEVER dared to use extremely powerful weapons.
"They restrict themselves to guns and knives," explained Shark. "They don't really like power. They only believe that power is found through how many people there are in their group."
"You're saying that they don't care about magical sources they can just steal?" questioned Zee.
"Yeah, they claim themselves to be non-magic believers."
"What I'm seeing is that the meteorite is for anyone to catch," said Zee. "If what you said is right, they won't be focusing on if the Anthropowal Meteorite is stolen. We need to get it back here."
"Why's that?" asked Shark.
"We can't provoke it again, otherwise it might cause the whole place to cave in. While it is still unstable, I can quickly extract a good amount of its power into the shooter weapons so that we can use it against the Zombie Gang."
"You're sure about that?" asked Shark. "Because I'm not gonna really rely this time on weapons that we just made and haven't tested them in the midst of my friends being chased."
"What else can we do?" said Zee. "It's our only shot in saving everyone or at least getting them out."
Shark had a quick think about it. He wasn't really eager to use the meteorite since he knew that going over the maximum limit could cause it to explode. He still remembered the Love Crater Meteorite exploding and distinguishing an entire mountain, specifically Marmalade's mansion. However, with so many gangsters out there to kill every last one of them, what other advantage could they use?
"I just need an idea of how to get it," said Zee. "I don't really see any good ways to get there. I'm not really that good in acrobatics. And you can't fit through the vents! Taking the emergency hallway can work, but we would be rushing in headless…"
An idea bulb formed over Shark's head. "I have an idea. Leave most of the work to me."
A few minutes later after Shark prepared enough materials he needed, he and Zee made their way using the emergency hallway that led back to the main room. They were grateful that there weren't any of the Zombie Gangsters roaming around in this one or else they might have no easy way to travel around. Zee placed his invisible ear over the door, hearing a couple of moaning.
"Alright," he said, confirming that nobody was too near the door. "You're sure that this will work?"
"They don't call me the Master of Disguise for nothing," said Shark, taking a deep breath.
Shark was nervous about this, but if he wants to save his friends, then he has to be brave. Like every time they went out on a heist or fighting against villains. And this role made him feel a bit safe since he wasn't all happy with violence despite his own tendencies. It let him feel like he was in the zone, acting as one of the many personas he adopted.
And that was as loud as a shark's roar.
Dramatically, he slammed the door opened and let out a stunning performance of his own.
All eyes, despite being masked behind zombie faces, turned to the disguised Shark. Or at least what he tried to disguise himself as.
Shark had applied makeup to his face, complete with eyelashes, eyeshadow and red cherry lips. In a homage to Hairspray, he wore a huge black wig that reached to his shoulders, a light pink hairband on top of it, a purple dress with a lavender skirt and REALLY high heel shoes decorated in diamonds.
In his hand was a skull.
"To be!" shouted Shark in a ladylike voice. "Or not to be?! Here's a skull. One that has lain in the earth three-and-twenty years ago."
Even for a crazy scientist, Zee couldn't believe what Shark was doing. He wasn't even using the lines from the Hairspray movie! He quickly hid behind the slightly opened door as all of the Zombie Gangsters came close to the disguised Shark.
The red-shirted leader rested his axe over his shoulder, tilting his head in curiosity.
"Now what is this strange, little man doing here?" he asked.
"Oh, just a heartbroken woman," said Shark dramatically, waving the skull around. "Alas, my poor husband! I knew him, my gentleman, a fellow of jest, of most excellent fancy. He has taken care of me as much as he cleaned my back a thousand times. How his mouth spoke and the wind that came out of it bring the trees and the grass with such vibrant color. How abhorred his imagination is gone!"
Zee's eyes shifted to the car which was now nothing but a heap of metal. Wolf isn't going to be happy about this. The lizard hypothesized in his head that the second Wolf sees this, he is going to maul the Zombie Gang until he can't eat their flesh anymore. He shook his head, watching to make sure that the Anthropowal Meteorite wasn't out of his sight.
"Here hung those lips that I have kissed!" cried Shark. "Where be your jelly now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were delicious to set the table on a roar? Not one now to mock your own grinning? What is left for me as I walk across the apocalypse-ridden world I have to face? What destiny lies in front of me now that I lost the laughter he gave me? No one else can match his humor. Just why? Why did you leave me, Romeo?"
Zee shuddered. "How is this going to work? He isn't wearing a proper human bodysuit to blend in…?"
He slowly trailed off when the unexpected happened.
Well, it would be called the expected when nobody saw through Shark's disguise.
The Zombie Gang were crying.
They were crying.
All of them were near Shark as he dragged himself to the middle. Everybody was bawling their eyes out when they watched his acting skills got into work. Even the leader of the gang was engaged, sitting on a beach chair and holding a cup full of popcorn.
"This is really entertaining!" the leader said jollily. "How much do you charge?"
Shark made no remark to that since he was TOO far into acting in character.
"Oh, how the world is starting to lose its color!" cried Shark, crumbling to the floor. "God has it that I am supposed to look after myself. God knows that I should be able to find another love. But what love is there when there is no one that I don't want to replace?! Yet I envy! I envy! I envy for the day when I feel love again! Like how the trees die from the lack of dehydration and the mountains crackle due to the inevitable erosion! I can't move on ever again! Never! EVER! EVER!"
"Well, that works," said Zee.
While the Zombie Gang was invested with the performance they were watching, Zee crept behind them and made his way to the Anthropowal Meteorite. Since he was mostly skinny, he was relieved that his footsteps weren't loud enough to attract any of those gullible clowns clowning around. Once he got near, he was careful not to press onto the glowing parts of the meteorite and lifted it up.
It wasn't heavy like how he theorized it. And good thing that it was small, so he could lift it up onto his head.
After taking a look to see if the Zombie Gang were still occupied, Zee took a step forward.
A single crunch caused loud hot Latino music to begin blasting out from what was left of the car's speakers.
All eyes turned to Zee.
The lizard froze in his spot, finding himself unable to move. If he did, he would be shot by an arrow. All while Latino music played during his last seconds of life. An insult to tell him that he failed his task.
Fortunately, Shark knew how to improvise.
Without warning, he not-so-gracefully swung the skull into the leader's face and rushed over to Zee. Considering that Shark was indeed huge, Zee wheezed upon feeling the large muscular arms squeezing him in a bear hug. It was bad enough that he nearly dropped the meteorite and now between Shark's hands and Zee's stomach.
Pressing it hard enough would be enough to provoke it. Either to turn them into something else or make the entire place.
And Zee knew that his last dying moments was being squeezed to death.
"Oh, there is Romeo!" yelled Shark dramatically. "The gods gave me a sign from heaven! Maybe I am able to walk this world after all. Maybe his laughter, his jokes, his joy will always remain with me! And he is here; came out from his grave back to me! His love for me returned to me! I'm so happy that you're here with me again to share jokes to each other how this is all just imagination and we are already living a dream of eternal bliss!"
And then, Shark proceeded to kiss Zee on the head three times.
The leader slowly got up. He found himself as the only one who noticed that the disguised woman wasn't really just an entertainer. All of his troops were crying genuine tears of happiness and relief.
"And now, let's a go to our honeymoon, Romeo!" declared Shark, pointing to the emergency door. "We got a lot to catch up dear, my man!"
Exit stage right as the two made a run to the emergency door as the crowd went wild. The leader just stood there, completely shocked that all of them were tricked into some sick performance.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING CHEERING THEM FOR?!" he screeched over the applause. "GET THEM!"
Meanwhile, Shark placed Zee gently down on the floor. Moving the meteorite aside, Shark leaned forward to take a big, fat…
"SHARK!" shrieked Zee. "YOU CAN STOP NOW!"
Shark finally came to his sense when he saw that his muzzle was nearly near Zee's.
"Oh," said Shark, leaning back. "Sorry about that."
"You don't really have to make it THAT convincing," said Zee.
"Sorry, man. I just get caught up in the zone. I mean…I feel…REALLY GOOD!" Shark giggled a little, shaking. "Is it just me or is everything spinning around right now?"
"You're feeling nervous?" asked Zee.
"Not really. More like pumped! I made a really great performance out there! I fooled them! But better, I put on a show. I was unstoppable! Showing my true self to the entire world! My heart is really pumping like a tommy gun!"
"Wait, a tommy gun? Why a tommy gun?"
"Well, you see," explained Shark in a chill tone. "When you get really happy about something you're proud of, you would feel your heart beating at a rapid pace due to how much effort and passion you did. A tommy gun shoots at a really fast pace, so the heart would be beating really quickly. In fact, in my head, it would go like-"
RAT-TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!
Both Zee and Shark screamed upon seeing the door being torn down by bullet holes. With the Anthropowal Meteorite, the two of them fled before they got shot, quickly hiding around the corner as they watched one Zombie Gangster kicking the ruined door aside.
"You're right!" said Zee. "That IS how a tommy gun would sound like."
None of them wasted their time as they quickly hid back inside the laboratory. The main entrance looked like it was about to give in, judging by the dents seen from the metal cabinet. As Shark grabbed another cabinet to barricade the emergency door, he was nearly too late as one of the Zombie Gangsters flew through the gap and rolled onto the floor. Just in time as Shark slammed the door tight and shut.
The zombie-masked criminal turned around, giggling insanely as she twirled around a baseball bat.
"One got in…" said Shark, stepping backwards. "What are we gonna do?"
Zee looked down at the Anthropowal Meteorite in his hands and back at one of the tables. That table was already covered in weapons that were nearly ready. There was also a transmitter machine that could hopefully take a portion of the meteorite's power.
"I need you to distract her for a while," whispered Zee.
"What?!" said Shark, looking back at the tip-toeing criminal. "Me? She might not fall my disguise!"
"Just…try to knock her out or something," said Zee casually. "Like give me at least 30 minutes. It will be very quick!"
With that, Zee ran off, leaving Shark on his own. Shark turned to his attacker, pointing a finger at him and then at her. He tried to give her the thumbs up as if telling her to go easy on him.
In response, the Zombie Gangster drew out a second baseball bat before rushing to cook some shark meat.
Shark's pupils shrank. Even with how he towered over her, he wouldn't be able to stop her from breaking his neck.
Zee arrived back at his station. He placed the Anthropowal Meteorite right on top of the transmitter, setting the dials to the middle range. Between maximum and minimum power collection. The meteorite glowed in response, humming like a siren. The lizard's eyes widened, thinking that it was going to explode. However, it was more like a defense instinct.
He checked the power intake. It was going really slow. That might not be enough time, even with the meteorite seemingly hesitant to let its power being taken away by a foreign user. He couldn't even set it to a higher intake speed since that might override the meteorite. With the time ticking down, Zee immediately grabbed at least 5 shooter weapons and plugged them with the transmitter by the fuel compartment.
He briefly ducked when a box nearly crashed into his head.
That was coming from Shark trying to fight against the crazy criminal. He was surprised of how strong this woman was since she was strong enough to swing him right across the room. Shark cried out in pain, hissing at the soreness in his back when he hit the wall. Opening his eyes, he was in dismay when he saw her picking a missile pistol nearby.
Shark quickly grabbed the nearest weapon he could find. It looked like a gun. He didn't want to kill anyone or smell the blood of anyone, but he just wanted all of this to stop.
POP!
Instead of bullets or projectiles, a slow-moving love heart floated out from the muzzle. The hologram slowly faded away.
"AAAAHHH!" shrieked Shark, flustered. "I chose the wrong weapon, OK?! Don't read into this!"
The Zombie Gangster didn't, firing a missile right near Shark.
Zee ignored the small explosion and Shark's wilhelm scream. He should be fine. The transmitter was nearly halfway there, taking its sweet time. Though, he noticed that the Anthropowal Meteorite was exchanging its energy much faster than before. The humming had been mitigated, replaced by its warmth that made people feel like they were welcomed. As it fueled the weapons, Zee wondered if the meteorite trusted him.
"It seems that it has some sort of sentience," he said, writing this down in his notepad. "Very interesting…"
In the background, Shark screamed his head off as the Zombie Gangster chased him from one side of the room to the other. All while Zee had his back facing then, busy waiting for the energy intake to finish and writing down more theories. There was a loud explosion as well, but he didn't take note of that as well.
"Doctor Zee!" called Shark, backing against a wall. "Do something useful please!"
"Alright! Alright!" said Zee, upon seeing that the fuel intake was fully charged. "I'm done. Now, time for a test subject."
He plugged out one of the shooters from the transmitter and turned around, finding Shark pinned against the wall. The cackling Zombie Gangster was coming closer to him, twirling around her baseball bats.
It was quick when Zee pressed the trigger.
A long red laser projectile hit the zombie-masked woman in the back. She cried in surprise, whipping around. But as she did so, her entire body briefly glowed in a bright white light before her body shape stretched…and shrunk.
What was left off her was a splattered egg, cracked and letting its contents spill all across the floor.
"Whoa!" said Zee, his eyes bugging out stunned. "I didn't mean to do that!"
Shark's jaw was wide as his shock. "D-D-Did you kill…her?"
The eggwhite and yolk shifted. Weakly, but noticeable.
"I…don't think we killed her," said Zee. "She might continue to remain as an egg like this for the rest of her life. Unless I try shooting her back."
Shark looked up to see the transmitter with the meteorite on top. This reminded him of the Love Crater Meteorite Marmalade tried to use before. The last time he saw it, it was sparkling and was shaking the entire time. But here, the Anthropowal Meteorite seemed to have calm down. Like it was giving them a chance to use it properly. With that, this could mean one thing.
Shark grabbed one of the shooters, checking that it was fully charged.
"This is going to be messy," he said. "Do you think it will change the Zombie Gang into…what we want them to be like?"
"Hmm, interesting theory," said Zee, writing that down in his notepad. "I'll have to test that out soon…"
"There's no 'soon' now. Either we do it now or we will all die."
Zee paused. He nodded once he remembered the danger they were in. "Alright then."
"Now, let's go kick some zombie booty out there," said Shark with new confidence.
Webs took the lead as she and Snake ran through the vents. They were small enough to fit in, so they had an understanding of where to go. It was like a maze, so it would be really likely that the Zombie Gang might get lost in the vents. Or couldn't fit through. Depending on how large those humans were. If they learnt how to crawl through vents.
Webs kept her flashlight pointed straight, too afraid to turn it back. Internally, she could only grieve that her security and trap system failed. All of her prepared planning! Her traps! Her backups! And yet, they found another way in through shooting right through the ceiling to get to them. And she swore that painting the building in graffiti was a way to show that the building was already robbed.
Snake was gritting his teeth, angrily growling away. He knew that getting Baron in their hideout was a bad idea! And because of that, now they have the Zombie Gang targeting all nearby individuals, whether they had business with them or not. He rather not find out soon since he knew that the Zombie Gang could be pretty savage.
"W-Webs?" asked Snake quietly. "Do…plant any traps around inside?"
Webs groaned, placing her hands over her face. "I forgot to grab my laptop!"
"You don't have a way to blow them out?"
"I panicked, OK?"
"Well, if we don't do something, then we are all doomed!"
There was a loud banging from behind. There were loud screams, but it didn't sound like it came from their friends. It sounded more like it came from the Zombie Gang. It first started out as screams of agony. This got the two confused. It couldn't be possible that someone was trying to fight back, right? Were they upset that they lost their targets? Were they losing their minds?
But that changed when there could hear screams of…anger. They seemed to be screaming in anger. Frustration. Like they were slowly turning into the monsters everybody knew. To Snake, it meant that these guys weren't happy at all. To Webs, it meant that they were coming to get them. An overwhelming sense of the inevitable reached them as they felt unable to move a muscle.
Then, everything went quiet.
Not a single word exchanged as Snake and Webs waited in the darkness. Webs did her best not to shine her flashlight behind in case any of the Zombie Gangsters spotted them. Low sounds of gunfire could be heard still going on outside the hideout.
An echoing creepy laughter from behind them. They had reached them.
"What was that?!" said Webs softly, turning her flashlight behind.
Both she and Snake wished that she didn't.
In the infinite darkness behind them, they could make the silhouette of somebody crawling through the vents. Right towards them. They couldn't make out the mask's details, but the outline was really clear that it was one of the Zombie Gangsters. And they seemed to be hyperventilating in excitement.
As their chaser came closer, the light shone on them. Alongside the hideous zombie mask, they were wearing a rainbow shirt. Quite off-putting for a gangster.
"H-Hey kids!" laughed the criminal, sounding distorted.
"No, no, no!" cried Snake, shaking.
"Want to watch Itcy and Scratchy?"
"No! No!" cried Webs, wrapping her legs around Snake's throat. "Get away!"
The insane laughter of the zombie-wearing gangster grew louder, matching the loud thumps as he crawled through the vents slowly. There were no more attempts in going back the way they went. In a panic, Snake slithered away, quickly flicking his tail away when the chaser tried to grab it. Even without looking behind, the criminal wasn't far away from them yet, laughing all the way as he hoped to make some animal skin carpets.
When they reached the next corner, Snake turned around and tried to hop upwards. There was a vertical vent tunnel above them. With the criminal's laughter slowly catching up, Snake used his body to climb up the vent to ensure his and Webs' survival. Once they reached the top, Snake just slithered in a random direction, not willing to wait to find out which path to go.
The duo nearly thought that it was the end when Snake crashed his head right into a dead end. However, once they saw light through the gaps, they realized that it was the vent door. Snake wildly started bashing his head right into the vent door, wanting nothing more but to get out of the demented vents. Webs was still holding onto him, looking back to check if they were near them.
The door finally gave way and Snake and Webs fell out to be welcomed by the early morning wind. They were on the top of the apartment with the broken large net still in place. There was a large hole in the ceiling, similar to the aftermath of a bomb exploding. Snake quickly locked the vents, grabbing Webs using his tail as he neared the edge of the roof in a thought of jumping off.
"Call the police!" he screamed. "Call the police now!"
"What?!" said Webs, confused. "We would get our base exposed to the public!"
"That doesn't matter now! HURRY UP AND CALL THE POLICE!"
Webs dropped to the floor, her phone falling out from her hoodie pocket. She turned it on, trying to find the application to call the police.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" she hissed, shaking her brain to trigger her memory. "It got to be in here…Snake! WHAT'S THE POLICE NUMBER AGAIN?!"
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" screamed Snake, his voice cracking. "THAT WAS THE EASIEST NUMBER TO MEMORIZE! HOW DO YOU FORGET THE EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBER?!"
"I thought we weren't supposed to know that! I don't collect the number to call the cops on us!"
"Well, I remember every phone number I collected! I remember the police number! I remember Marmalade's phone number! I EVEN REMEMBER THE DOG-I-ATE-TWO-YEARS-AGO'S OWNER'S FUNER-!"
Before he could finish that sentence, there was a high-pitched 'hello' from behind them. Climbing up the building were more Zombie Gangsters, using grappling hooks to pull themselves up. The surface was already swarmed by every member of the Zombie Gang. Even worse, the two criminals who just arrived were wielding swords out of all things.
Snake let out a long, croaked gasp, his eyes popping out from his sockets. Even if they were behind him, he could tell that they were looking forward to testing the theory of if he was a sentient tree.
In a panic, Snake grabbed onto Webs and shook her around as she tried to press on the right numbers of the police.
"DAMNITAHNONONONONONONOAOHGODOHNONONONO!"
"AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAHNONONONONONOOHGOD!"
"OHTHISISSOHORRIBLE!"
"OHMYGOSH!"
With a shaky hand, Webs pressed onto '9'.
The two zombie-wearing gangsters finally got their feet on the roof, laughing manically as they swung their swords around.
Snake was already going high-pitched at this point. "HURRYWEBS!AAAAAAAAAHHHH!THISISHORRIFYING!"
"AAAAAAHIDON'TLIKETHISIDON'TLIKETHISIDON'TLIKEITATALL!"
Webs pressed onto '1', her hand still shaking.
"Uh, look, guys," said one of the zombie-masked gangsters, breaking the tension. "I can try to spare you if you can, erm, join our annual orgy coming up next Friday."
Snake screamed. This was even worse than death!
"THEY'REHERETHEYHERETHEYHEREOHMYGOSH!"
"OHMYGOSHTHISISSOHORRIBLEIDON'TLIKEITALL!"
And Webs finally pressed '1'.
The tarantula sighed in relief, suddenly feeling safe. "Phew! I was worried I forget! Now we are s-!"
But Snake was already pulled away and mercilessly beaten by the criminals, using the flat side of their swords. Still, it was horrifying and painful to Snake, screaming all the way like a girl.
"911, what's your emergency?"
This brought Webs back to reality. "POLICE?! POLICE?! I NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW!"
All she got was this voice message:
"Sorry, all 911 units are unavailable today due the Purge. Just leave a message and we will respond after the Purge ends. Have a terrible day."
"WHAT?!" screeched Webs in disbelief.
The next thing she knew was she was swatted in the back and fell right on top of the unconscious Snake.
AN: Had a complete blast making the scene of Shark performing his very best! As Hairspray the Musical is currently live in Australia this year, I thought of referencing that for Shark's outfit. His speech is similar to Hamlet's speech about his jester. 'This is some of his best character work.' - Harley Quinn.
The Zombie Gangster patting on Baron's butt is a reference to Total Drama Action. And of course, the idea of him, Hornet and Mira firing tennis balls at the incoming gangsters is based from Ms. Marvel. Though, more effective here.
Shark's line of not seeing the second season of Games of Thrones is actually a reference to his voice actor's character saying that line in Brooklyn 99.
There is another reference from Murder Drones which is the part where Shark accidentally uses a heart projectile gun.
There's a reference to a Tik Tok video in here. I dare you to find it.
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