-Snape-

If someone would ask him later what had come over him in that moment, he wouldn't be able to give them a satisfying answer; because he was not sure himself what exactly had happened in those split seconds he looked into the apparently very twisted mind of Nymphadora Tonks that had robbed him of his sanity. Before that particular Order meeting, he hadn't given her much thought, but now she unfortunately occupying his thoughts constantly and it was really getting on his nerves. The fact that he was forced to endure her colourful and cheerful persona every meeting was enough, he really didn't need it to haunt him in his spare time. He sighed, taking a tentative sip of his firewishkey. It had been a long since a woman had thrown in off in such a considerable way. 'Especially a woman like that...', he thought bitterly and shuddered when he saw her bright smile and that ridiculous hair of hers before his inner eye. Sitting in his shoddy living room, nursing an almost empty bottle of firewhiskey, he replayed their encounter from the evening for what felt like the hundreth time.

The evening had started normal enough: He had traded insults with Black the werewolf, had reluctantly accepted some dinner from the Weasly matriarch, who looked like she would force-feed him some if he declined again and then managed to avoid any of the other Order members so he could enjoy a little quiet before the meeting started; all in all an evening like any other. But then, aout halfway through the meeting, he noticed that someone was distracted with decidedly non-Order matters. It wasn't like him to just pry into the minds of his comrades-in-arms, otherwise he would be no better than the Death Eaters he was spying on. But really, this person was broadcasting their thoughts and feelings out into the open, instantly visible for anyone who bothered to look; it's not like Legilimency was a talent only he possessed. Anyone can learn it, it just so happened that he had a special knack for it; where others had to actively use legilimency, oftentimes, when someone exhibited especially strong feelings and forgot to rais their mental shields, those sensations flew to him like moths to a flame, and where others had to force the mind of someone else open, to him they opened and rolled out the red carpet for his entry; it was quite unnerving really and one of the reasons he'd began practising his Legilimency and Occlumency skills early on. For him, Occlumency was as much about keeping others from reading as mind as it was about keeping himself from reading other's. But this time curiosity got the better of him. Because this time, the emotion being broadcast through the meeting room in Grammauld Place was not boredom, nor fear, nor excitement; it was lust. Arousal and lust. And for the life of him, Snape couldn't imagine why anyone would feel these emotions at an Order meeting.

He let his gaze roam around the room, considering each person sitting around the table carefully. At first, he thought these sinful thoughts could only be coming from Mundungs, but one glance in his direction and the sensation he felt immediately got weaker. 'So, not Mundungs then', he thought to himself. Next he considered Black and the werewolf, who were not-so-subtly holding hands under the table. He was about to make a snide comment about keeping their perverted attraction out of the Order meetings at least, when his gaze fell upon Black's cousin, who was sitiing next to him and seemed to be far away with her thoughts. Her eyes (dark today, tho he could have sworn they were blue when he'd seen her earlier) were glazed, her pupils dilated, her cheeks had a rosy glow about them and her red lips were slightly parted. He took one look at her and knew she must be the 'culprit'. And because now he was really intrigued what reason Nymphadora Tonks could possibly have for being aroused at a table full of Order members, he did something he deeply regretted, not because it proved that deep down he was just as despicable as the other Death Eaters, but because it would cause him a very sleepless night, and intruded into her mind. What he saw, shocked him to his core. He saw himself, in this very room, kneeling before this woman, head buried between her legs. He drew a deep breath and immedietaly receeded from her mind, still processing what he had seen. He couldn't help but find the whole situation absurd.

"Naughty Nymphadora", he whispered when he saw in her face that she knew what he'd seen. He must have completely misread the situation and her feelings, for there was no way in hell she would actually fantasize about this, about him. There was no way the feelings he'd noticed were actually arousal and lust. But whatever twisted reason she had had for this saucy fantasy, she knew how it must look to him.

"Get out of my head", she hissed and he could feel her raising her mental shields against him.

He couln't help but feel his lips curl into a mocking smile. 'Oh how mortified she must be', he thought gleefully. He would be able to vex her with this for weeks and no one would be the wiser. Drawing out every syllable of her ridiculous name and watching her subsequent reaction was fun too, but this was on a whole other level. Already he could see Black and Weasley throw some questioning glances in her direction and he delighted at the thought of her having to answer some very embarrassing questions; this really was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time! He just ignored that nagging voice inside his head, that couldn't stop wondering why he'd felt lust and arousal radiatung off of her when clearly she had just been fantasizing about him to entertain herself and definitely not because she felt the slightest attraction towards him; it really was always best to ignore that voice. Snape had always been a man of logic and he loathed the people that tended to 'follow their gut' and 'listened to their heart' instead of following the very real roads and principles of logic and reason. So he had no difficulty in ignoring that voice that told him that maybe, inexplicaby Nymphadora Tonks did on fact fancy him; because it was just illogical.

"And even if she does", he mused, "what difference does it make? She's just an insolent girl who brews her potions following her gut and not the instructions on the board." His inner voice interjected that she actually hadn't been a bad student at all, but again he ignored it. There was nothing remarkable or interesting about her and really, he had wasted far too much time thinking about her already. His confidence faltered when he noticed the expression on Dumbledore's face: There was an unmistakeable twinkle in the blue eyes peering at him over his half-moon glasses and his lips were curled into a knowing smile.

-Sirius-

Sometimes Sirius wondered if the Order meetings were not really a very elaborate ploy of the Death Eaters to torture him to death with boredom. And if that was in fact true, he hated to admit that it was working. Today had been especially torturous and - as usual - he blamed Severus Snape. There was no particular reason, but in his mind he knew that whatever had resulted in today's meeting being especially boring was somehow Snivellus' fault. He told his best friend Remus Lupin as much after the meeting, but Moony didn't seem to follow his logic.

"I know it is pointless telling you this", he said with an amused smile, "but not everything is Severus Snape's fault."

"See, this is where we disagree. I am pretty sure that everything that's wrong with this world is somehow related to that bastard!"

Sirius took a hearty swing from his glas of firewhiskey and with a soft umph he fell onto the couch. He and Moony were enjoying a drink and each other's company in one of the many unused rooms of his blasted house. It had become something of a tradition for them, to tattle about the meeting and nurse a bottle of firewhiskey together (although Sirius had to admit it was mostly him drinking); it was, Sirius realized, the best thing in his life at the moment. And oddly enought that didn't make him feel sad or wallow in self pity; oddly enough, that felt pretty good.

-Remus-

Remus looked at his friend, who was contentedly sipping his whiskey and blaming the state of the world on one man, one man they had hated since their school days. Remus knew he should protest more, but the way Sirius' smiled like he hadn't in a long time and the way he seemed actually at peace, if maybe just for the moment, in this sticky old room in his childhood room made him reconsider. They all had so little reason to smile these days and Remus decided not to take this harmless fun from his friend. He sat down next to Sirius and took a tentative sip of his whiskey. A wisp of moonlight slipped throught the doxy-eaten curtains and illuminated the haggard face of the man he had loved since their Hogwart's Days. Twelve years in Azkaban had left their mark, but to Remus Sirius was still the most beautiful person he'd ever known. He'd never told him of his feelings, because he knew that while Sirius would never see him as the monster he was, he was also just his friend and would never be anything more. Remus had accepted that a long time ago but that didn't mean that it didn't still hurt; especially in moments like this, when every pore in his body screamed at him to just lean over and kiss his friend; but he knew that could never happen. Werewolves didn't get happy endings.

"It's getting late", he said with a sigh, getting up from the couch and leaving the proximity of Sirius behind, his body instantly missing the heat of the body next to him. He knew that Sirius would probably stay up until the early moring hours, drinking himself into oblivion to forget the fact that even though he had left Azkaban behind he was still a prisoner.

"Wait, Moony", a hand curled around his wrist and held him back. The touching of their skin sent shivers down Remus' spine and it took all of his willpower not to shudder visibly. He waited for Sirius to continue, shifting nervously from one foot to the other and biting his lower lip in anticipation.

"I just meant to tell you", Sirius began, his voice uncharacteristically deeper and husky, "how much I...", he took a deep breath. "How much I'm grateful for you. Through all this, you have been a rock and an amazing friend and I don't know what I would do without you."

Remus couldn't help but be a tiny bit disappointed. No matter how impossible it was, there was always a part of him that hoped to one day hear Sirius say those three little words he'd longed to hear. I love you. Instead, he told him how he regarded him as an amazing friend. Remus knew he shouldn't feel bitter about that, but he couldn't help it. A part of him would always hold out hopeless hope. He forced himself to smile and wanted to answer something reassuring, something a friend said to a friend in a moment like this, but before he could think of something, Sirius continued:

"Without you, I would be lost." His dark eyes softened and Remus swore within them he could see the stars. Then, barely a whisper:

"When I'm with you, I'm no longer a prisoner. When I'm with you, I am finally myself again."

Remus could feel his breath stop and his heart hammering in his chest. He was sure he imagined the next part, because it was whispered so quietly, it might just have been the wind.

"Remus, I love you."

-Sirius-

"Remus, I love you." Sirius realized that all the years they'd known each other, all the time they spent together and all the years they spent apart, all of his life, was a chain reaction that culminated in this moment and this moment was the only one that mattered. He loved Remus. Padfoot loves Moony. Now, the big question remained, does Moony love Padfoot?

"Moony?" his voice was now more than a whisper and the other man, who had before stared at him with wide, unblinking eyes, see es to wake from his stupor.

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard you whisper something... Must be the whiskey!", he trailed off and started towards the door, when Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to look directly into his dark eyes.

"Moony, you heard me. But if you need me to say it again, then I will declare it loud and clearly: I love you! I don't know when, if it had always been there or if it just happened this evening, but by Merlin, please say something..."

With hitched breathing and a pleading glance, Sirius looked at his friend, who was still not moving and just started back with an incredulous expression. The irony of the whole exchange, with the usually cocky Sirius now at the mercy of the usually more quiet and subdued Remus, was not lost on him. He was about to make an even bigger fool of himself and opened his mouth to say something, anything to break the silence, when suddenly Remus' mouth crashed into his and before he knew it he was being kissed very, very passionately. A warm feeling like he hadn't felt in a long time spread through him.

"So", he broke the kiss to say, "does this mean... I mean do you..?"

"Yes, you big oaf, I love you, too!", Remus whispered and pulled Sirius back into his embrace. If Sirius had known kissing Remus felt so fantastic, he would have done it years ago.

There was a loud crash downstairs, followed by hectic voices and the ear-piercing screeching of his darling Mummy and he knew that Remus' sense of duty would kick in and that he'd want to go down and help, so he decided to be a good and understanding man and tried to break the kiss, but to his surprise, Remus pulled him back.

"They can handle themselves", he said.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to keep you from being an honorable and dutiful man", Sirius said with a teasing edge to his voice.

"I have better things to do than be honorable at the moment", Remus snarled and dragged Sirius to the couch. Sirius decided that he really had done his best but there was no arguing with Moony. Not that he'd complain. It was easy to just blend out all the noise, all the dullness and boredom that had plagued him and to just let himself feel Remus and his touch and their kisses. He hadn't known that Moony would feel the same. Padfoot loves Moony, Moony loves Padfoot, and that was all they knew. The rest they'd figure out along the way.

-Harry-

Talking with Tonks had been a lot less exciting than Harry had hopes. Mainly because she seemed to be everywhere with her thoughts but in the present, but also because he was still a little sour that she had actually forgotten their date. Of course it was not a real date, but still, in Harry's mind, this was as close to one as you could get.

"So, what d'you wanna talk about?", Tonks asked while catapulting herself onto one of the big cozy chairs in the library. Harry had hoped she'd go for the sofa so he could sit next to her.

"Well", he started, not really sure how to begin. "I kinda wanna talk about crushes..."

He noticed that Tonks immediately turned firery red and that her purple hair once again changed to pink. The fact that she was so flustered when he'd mentioned crushed made him hopeful.

"Maybe I can ask her out later. Of course, there's not many places we could go... But it's worth a shot", he mused.

"Crushes? Uhm, I'm not sure I'm the right person for that! Seeing as I don't really...chrm", she cleared her throat, "have any crushes at the moment, so to speak." Harry noticed that she started to bite her lower lip and pick at her nails.

"What I really mean is, I wanted to ask you your advice on Ron and Hermione."

Tonks visibly perked up and bent closer towards him. "Ron and Hermione?" She gave him wink and smiled. "I have no idea what you could possibly mean." She giggled and Harry was glad to see that apparently the old, happy Tonks, who made jokes and treated him like a friend and not a stupid kid was back.

He felt himself relax into the chair and continued:

"It's just so weird ever since we've been here all together. I feel simultaneously like a third wheel all the time and at the same like they would rather spend their time fighting doxies than be in each other's company. And I never know which way it will be! Like yesterday, one minute it was all peace and butterflies, the next Hermione just storms off and doesn't speak to us for the rest of the evening." He sighed. "It's so hard. I just want things to go back to normal."

Tonks gave him a sympathetic nod and raised a metaphorical glass. "Amen to that", she said.

Harry waited for her to say more, but she seemed lost in thought. He studied her for a bit. She looked tired and worn and he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. If it wasn't for him, she probably would have a lot less work to do.

"The thing is", she said suddenly, completely interrupting his thoughts, "that things will probably not get back to normal for a long time. Things haven't just changed for you, but also for Ron and Hermione and ultimately, they have to decide what to do with this whole situation." She gave him an apologetic smile. "When I was in school, I too had friends who had a crush on each other. We were a little older, so the whole thing was resolved a bit more quickly", she winked but when she realized that Harry did not get her meaning, she blushed and moved on with the story. "It sucked for all of us, but I think it sucked the most for Annie and Jo. Because you can't just not have a crush on someone", when she said this, her hair turned pink again and her cheeks reddened, "so it's not something you can control. Feelings can be very confusing, Harry, as you probably already know well. I know it's hard, but I think the best thing you can do for both Ron and Hermione is be there for them, talk to them and give them time to figure this out for themselves. This doesn't mean you can't let them know how you feel about this and their behavior those past weeks", she added with a wink.

Harry nodded. He understood and he was glad he'd talked to Tonks.

"Was that all?", she asked, already up and on her way out.

"Wait", he said, thinking that it was now or never.

"Speaking of crushes... Would you ever like to go out with me? Like on a date?"

"Harry", she laughed and immediately cringed and apologized. In that moment he realized he'd completely misread her signals.

"Forget it", he murmured and rushed out of the door, his cheeks blazing red.

"Harry, wait", she called after him and he hear a loud crash behind him and a moment later the blaring voice of Sirius' mother, probably waking everyone in the house. He was mortified. The door to the kitchen opened and Mrs. Weasley stuck her head out.

"Harry, why aren't you in bed?", she asked with a stern voice that was betrayed by the worry written all over her face.

"Just going", he replied, hurrying up the stairs.

He heard Mrs. Weasley and Tonks talk quietly and then with a loud "Arthur, will you help me with that portrait?" they took care of old Mrs. Black. When he arrived in the hallway leading to his room, Harry sighed. He was mortified by what had happened with Tonks and felt like the biggest idiot on earth. He was about to enter his room, when he heard a groan coming from inside one of the other doors. Alarmed, he drew his wand and silently walked towards the noises, leaning against it and peering through the key-hole. Instead of someone being in danger, fighting a boggart or being inured, he instead saw a pile of clothes and limbs wiggling on the couch. It took a few moments until he realised the pile of clothes was actually his Godfather together with his former DADA teacher. Blushing an even deeper shade of crimson then he had been before, he quickly made his way to his room and lay in his bed, contemplating the events of the evening. "I really am an idiot", he thought.

-Snape-

It had all started to go downhill when he had started to think. Usually that was a safe way to go for him, but this evening it brought his ruin. Because it had been easy to ignore the voice that told him maybe Nymphadora Tonks fancied him, less easy to ignore the all knowing face of Albus Dumbledore and nigh impossible to ignore the evidence before him: as he replayed the images he'd seen in her mind, he could come to no other conclusion than Nymphadora Tonks fancied him. It was impossible, but it was the only logical explanation. The way she had imagined herself, the way she had imagined him, the way she had imagined them, together, that hadn't been mocking or boredom, it had been lust. And that was what made Severus Snape completely lost. He knew how to deal with mocking, with disgust, with hate; but lust? That was certainly a new one.

So when he was about to leave the Order meeting and ran into her and that Potter boy, he was at a loss for words. Any cutting remark, any reasonable thought was replaced by a mocking voice inside his head. "She fancies you! Why in Merlin's name would she do that?" It had taken him a few moments to collect himself and he cursed her and himself for the fact that apparently she now had an 'effect' on him. This was unacceptable. He'd decided that he wouldn't be fazed by this silly crush she had on him and stalked out of headquarters and apparated home, seemingly at ease with his decision and satisfied with the control he had over his mental capabilities. His head would always be stronger than his foolish heart. So he'd told himself. But as he sat there drinking his firewhiskey, he couldn't get the images from her mind out of his head. He couldn't get her out of his head. He couldn't get her smile with her slightly crooked teeth, her hair that always betrayed her emotions and those beautiful black eyes out of his head and that angered him. The image of him between her legs appeared before his eyes again and involuntarily he asked himself, what she tasted like.

"Enough", he yelled angrily and threw his glass of whiskey with full force against the wall.

"Damn that woman!"