Hello there,

I'm stretching the BNHA chronology a bit just to be able to get some character development in. Since this wasn't an action heavy fic from the start (with literally only 1 serious fight scene so far), I'd like to hope that you all are fine with it. Time for another chapter filled with conversations.

Hans limped off the train, the little mermaid prying open his eyes and nudging him on his cheek. He stumbled about, his UA uniform getting some attention as he fumbled for the can of coffee that he kept on the side of his backpack. A cold hand handed the can to him, and he slid his fingers over the top of the can, trying to find the ring that would unleash a torrent of wakefulness on his sleepy figure.

The migraines from controlling six separate ducks in yesterday's exercise was really getting to him. He was really regretting not letting them do their own thing.

In the distance, he could hear some people babbling on about All Might and holding out some sort of tube to him. Shaking its head in exasperation, the little mermaid floated down and flipped the coffee can in Hans's hand. With ingrained habit, Hans found the ring of the can, pulled it, and took a swig.

His migraine slowly peeled back, revealing his vision from the haze that had been plaguing him the whole morning. He almost woke up while walking through a particularly creepy alleyway that almost seemed sentient, but he relegated that occurrence to him slowly going insane writing about Gudako's adventures in another story filled with creepy alleyways: the London Singularity.

Then, some very harsh voices finally roused him.

"What do you think about All Might's instruction?"

"How is All Might as a teacher?"

"How do you view the decision of UA-"

Hans looked up at the reporters, sighed and did the only thing that came naturally, even when deprived of sleep.

"Look, I know you all got degrees in social science and are now part of the corporate ladder desperately trying to gain readership by squeezing content out of every single thing that heroes and celebrities do. But can you not bother literal minors below the age of sixteen about it?" Hans grunted. "It's honestly getting kind of creepy how you guys keep hanging outside of the door. I almost feel like I should carry a whistle, I mean just look at that guy in the black hoodie constantly scratching his neck."

The person wearing the black hoodie promptly scurried away as the crowd of reporters collectively turned their heads. When they turned back, Hans was gone.

…

Hans Chiristian Andersen was not a person that was particularly hard working. It was the opposite, in fact.

He was incredibly lazy, and he didn't like work by any stretch.

So why was he slaving away at his trashy web novel sitting on a concrete pillar?

It was because everybody was currently trying to break their own pillar. At first, Hans had wanted to complain about how UA could afford the cement pillars, and then he learned that Cementoss's quirk was… forming concrete structures out of concrete almost instantly.

Now, he had nothing to complain about. And, coupled with his uneasy truce with Yaoyorozu, he surprisingly kept his mouth shut. This time.

Something that occupied more of his attention than his attempts at writing the London singularity while replacing a loli Jack the Ripper with an actually socially acceptable character, which was surprisingly hard, however, was an object that confused him even more than why Sasaki Kojiro called dragons swallows, of all things.

It was… an apology gift. From Yaoyorozu.

The box sat in the pocket of his blue hoodie, unopened yet slightly wrinkled because of Hans's hesitancy over opening it.

The question was… why did it exist? Hans professed himself as an expert in character analysis. This world was a manga too, so everything should be obvious and predictable, a mere rearrangement of tropes.

But there was still one type of creature that confused and terrified him at the same time: women that were engaged in a series of interactions with him. At first, it would be predictable. Then, as they talked to him, something would change. Uraraka, for example, was still completely predictable, the poster child of a female protagonist that the main character was still just friends with. Next, she would be having many adventures and finally get together with the main character at the end with a child or two and a cute series-ending picture.

However, those who talked with him, and insisted on either arguing or conversing with him over long periods of time would begin to act unpredictably. Kiara was a psycho from the start, but Yaoyorozu, the rich, ignorant onee-san type that was so common in the manga collections of a certain perverted pirate in Chaldea, had changed in an unpredictable way.

However, be it Kiara or the new, much weaker and naive challenger, Yaoyorozu, he would not bend.

He had faced Kiara in Chaldea. He had faced Kiara during a summer event, while she was a sassy lost child. He had… lost to Kiara because of a command seal once, but that didn't count!

The point is, Hans Christian Andersen was going to shore up his mental defenses.

"I'm a virgin." Hans mutters. "Don't underestimate my resolve!"

The gift would not be opened, and Hans continued to type. Throughout the day, Yaoyorozu's mood dropped further and further until even Todoroki, somebody normally emotionally oblivious, noticed something.

…

After the battle training, Hans supposed that there really wasn't much about high school that was remotely worth writing about. Everyday was a routine. Classes trudged along and life continued to stumble forward within the unending factory that was UA trying to produce 40 heroes per year.

Now, the class was doing something even more pointless: electing a leader that would probably just pass out paperwork and do literally nothing else.

Honestly, anybody could have that role. Hans would probably even trust Bakugo to do the job, considering the low amount of skill that involved passing out papers.

Oh, and communications with other classes. And signing all their forms. And doing… normal Japanese class representative stuff.

Come to think of it, Bakugo probably couldn't do it. What if his ego was poked a bit that morning and he charred the papers? What if Class 1A was singled out for Bakugo's hyper aggressive actions?

Hans sighed.

Yeah, anybody but Bakugo would be better.

As the classroom began to boil like a pot of water, hands going up and down, sleeves waving about and about, and different claims to excellency filled the air, Hans did nothing but look at Aizawa's equally dead face. For a moment, their dead eyes met, and they shared a commiserating look. Then, Aizawa tilted sideways and fell onto his sleeping bag.

Hans was jealous. He wished he had his own sleeping bag. Or a coffee. Preferably both.

"Silence, please!" Iida shouted. "The class representative office is a sacred position, given to those that are capable of representing the whole class! It cannot be given to just anybody who wants the position!"

The class, surprisingly, went quiet. Hans looked at Ojiro, the only person that didn't even try to raise their hands. They looked… conflicted about something.

In the end, the election ended up being a democracy, unlike most elections around the world. Hans slept through speech after speech, as people desperately advertised what little good qualities they had to secure an office that was basically just more busy work. In the end, even pro heroes wouldn't care about the position. According to this society, as long as you could slap somebody across the pavement and you attended four years of high school to become a hero, you were now a part of the social elite made up of a population that rarely lived above fifty, either dying in action or dying due to health complications.

The rational move was to go to college after he got his hero certification card or whatever, get an actually useful degree, and make money.

Of course, his classmates were filled with actually heroic fools that would sacrifice their college education for a couple years in the spotlight.

Hans dragged his mind back from the tangent and looked at everybody agonizing on their desks.

"Instead of turning this into a mindless, populist venue, why can't you idiots just talk it out?" Hans muttered. "We could actually have an intelligent conversation instead of campaigning for votes like baboons or oil lobbyists, or just see who can bribe others the most with candy."

"Minus the callous language, that's a great idea, Andersen-san!" Iida said right next to Hans's ear. Hans almost fell out of his seat.

"Candy?" Sato said, perking up from his seat.

"No, Sato-san." Iida said, shaking his head sternly and throwing the ballots into the trash. "We are having a conversation about this. Everybody, in a circle!"

Hans looked at Aizawa, sleeping peacefully on the floor.

Yeah, he definitely wanted a sleeping bag.

…

In the end, discussion was made almost impossible with Bakugo's snide remarks and Iida's constant attempts to maintain order.

"My...my goal to be a hero… is to make lots of money… and help out my parents!" Uraraka said, nervous and not confident.

"What kind of half-assed reason is that?" Bakugo scoffed, crossing his arms and glaring at Uraraka. "Are you just fucking around in this school too, like that useless shit Deku?"

For possibly the first time since school started, Hans spoke up voluntarily.

"Why isn't it a valid goal?" Hans said, looking Bakugo straight in the eye. Even if Hans was much smaller and looked much scrawnier, his piercing blue gaze drove back Bakugo's irritated red. "Being a hero is just another profession, no different from any salaryman or construction worker. We're just exchanging different parts of our skill sets for money. Rationally, this doesn't mean that we're automatically morally superior."

"And that's another thing. Why the fuck did UA let you in?" Bakugo roared, his palms cracking with explosions. "You're just a useless piece of shit too."

"This 'useless piece of shit' got in because he saved somebody's life." Hans said. "I normally wouldn't say anything about this, but what did you do? Beat up robots? That's something anyone with a generic Quirk can do. To imply that you are more heroic than other people is just you being egocentric."

"Why you-"

"Wasn't your goal to be the number one hero? It's like aiming to be the number one accountant. Supercomputers have already got you covered. The symbol of peace is a symbol for a reason."

"Are you saying that-"

"Yes." Hans said, crossing his arms. "I'm not a particularly big fan of All Might, but we're not even on his level."

For some reason, Midoriya clenched his fist.

"Okay, that's enough unrelated discussion! If you wish to continue, do so outside the classroom!" Iida shouted, placing himself at the center of the circle. "

"Let's just stop wasting time." Hans said. "Actual classes start in five minutes. Can we all agree that Iida should be class president?"

Surprisingly, most people nodded in consent.

"I was originally going to vote for Deku-kun, but Iida seems like he'd really fit the role, wouldn't he?" Uraraka said, a bit of gratitude in her eyes due to Hans's defense of her goals.

"Okay, any opposed?"

"Wait!" Mina said, crossing her arms and mimicking a stern expression. "But what about Yaomomo? She's-"

"Reluctantly, I have to… agree… with Andersen-san." Yaoyorozu said, to the surprise of almost everybody in 1-A. "Though I also do think I would be fit for the position, Iida-san took control of the situation and was able to wrangle us into sitting in a circle."

Then, she smirked. "Even Bakugo-san followed Iida's orders."

"I wasn't following orders, you bitch! I was just getting ready to campaign!" Bakugo shouted.

"Quiet down." Aizawa said, irritated. "You all still need a vice representative."

"Indeed." Yaoyorozu said. "Which is why I'll propose that Andersen-san should take the position."

"I don't want the position." Hans said immediately.

"But you do occasionally have good ideas." Yaoyorozu countered.

"I really don't communicate well." Hans said, grimacing. "As you probably noticed, I'm a confrontational asshole."

"Do not demean yourself so, vice representative!" Iida said, patting Hans on the back so hard he almost choked on the candy Sato had tried to bribe everybody with as a joke. "With you by my side, our class will shine brighter than ever before! Are there any objections?"

"Please… Anybody?" Hans said.

"Objection!" Bakugo shouted.

"Your opinion doesn't count." Jiro said, glaring at Bakugo.

As the class organized itself back up for English class while Bakugo seethed and glared at Hans, Ojiro shuffled over to Hans's desk.

"You should know how much of an annoying person I am, Ojiro." Hans muttered. "Why didn't you speak up?"

"That was what I was going to ask about. After the fight with Shoji, I remember something like… a violent octopus attack that traumatized me during childhood? Did your quirk do that? And, why do I remember a guy called Horikoshi?"

"You remember that?" Hans muttered, surprised. "The effect was supposed to be temporary. This could be a problem…"

"That doesn't answer the question." Ojiro muttered intensely. "How did you give me an extra memory?"

Somewhere in the class, Jirou's elongated earlobes wiggled.

"Not here." Hans said, sighing. "If I say what I know to anybody else, they wouldn't believe me. After class, in the hallway."

Then, Bakugo's hand slammed down on Hans's desk. The little mermaid, who had been sleeping on one of the textbooks, woke up, startled, and immediately blew a raspberry at Bakugo's face before disappearing to avoid retaliation.

"This isn't over, you hear? I'll prove to everybody that I can be class president!"

"Believe me." Hans said, dryly. "If I could give you my role, I would."

Then, the annoyingly loud teacher with a ridiculous haircut walked into the room and immediately shouted even Bakugo into submission, before they stood up, bowed, sat down, and immersed their brains in English.

Ojiro nodded at Hans, but Hans did nothing, still deep in thought about how to cover up his tracks.

…

"So, what are you going to tell me that will blow my mind and worldview?" Ojiro asked, his voice light yet nervous.

Hans looked at Ojiro's trembling hands hidden inside his pockets. He wasn't ready for the truth. But at the same time, he knew something. Something that he desperately needed answers for. Hans looked up at the bags under Ojiro's eyes, and knew that this person was suffering because of a simple, unexplained, foreign memory.

…Okay, that sounded pretty bad.

Anyways, Hans's only choice was to lie.

"God is real." Hans said, before wanting to slap himself. That was such a bad excuse.

"...Your explanation for this is… God?"

"Yeah. And there are several chosen ones walking the earth with us, and to put in terms that you would probably understand more, they're basically the protagonists of their own story."

"And?"

"...And there's one in our class."

Ojiro sighed, "If I believe what you're saying is true, wouldn't that be a good thing?" Ojiro asked, looking both annoyed and, very slightly, relieved.

"No, considering the fact that we're not the main character of this god's play. We're the side characters, which means that we're probably very disposable and will be used to further the development of the main character. I was going to bootlick Midoriya for plot relevance, until I realized that this was a shounen, and that I'll definitely be sacrificed."

"...How would you even know all this? Your Quirk?" Ojiro asked. "And Midoriya's the main character? No offense to the guy, but he's not exactly what I'd call Main Character material"

"I've escaped the matrix." Hans deadpanned. "Have you seen The Matrix?"

"What's that?" Ojiro said, scratching his head.

"Nevermind, that's a bad example. Basically, all you have to remember is that our lives are viewed as a play by a higher being, and that having flashbacks equals more power."

"...Is that what you did with that false memory?"

"Well, yes. But considering the fact that that memory was permanent, it means that you're even more insignificant than me, since the god that's writing this play didn't even care enough to give you a fixed backstory. Of course, we can each make our own decisions, but people with more plot relevance are more resistant to my changes."

"Again, how can you do all of that?" Ojiro said, stumbling back and leaning against the wall.

"If I said I was the reincarnation of a fairytale writer, would you believe me?"

"Fine. Don't answer me then." Ojiro muttered, determination slowly flooding back into his character. "I don't care whether or not I'm a side character! I'm going to break the mold! I'm going to surpass Midoriya and…"

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." Hans said, dowsing Ojiro's fiery enthusiasm with a bucket of water. "You're not going to surpass Midoriya. He has too much plot armor."

"But… It is possible, right? Come to think of it, why can you manipulate the narrative? Is it because you're a demon or something? A ghost? Maybe your Quirk gave you the knowledge? To sustain itself maybe?" Ojiro muttered a little at the end with a contemplative look on his face.

"Whatever." Hans said, sweating at the mentioning of ghosts. Ojiro was scarily close to the answer of heroic spirits. "Just do whatever you want with that knowledge. Don't be too close to the main character when a catastrophe inevitably comes in the next event we participate in, though."

Ojiro nodded, still looking slightly distracted by his theory of Hans' Quirk and otherworldly knowledge. "Thanks for the advice, but we're hero students. We can handle ourselves. And when I break free too, I'll come back and help you free the others trapped in this sick script."

"That's not how that works…" Hans thought, fighting the urge to face palm.

Ojiro finally left the hallway, passing Jiro on the way back to the classroom. Hans sighed in relief, and stepped towards the water fountain to-

"So… what was all that?" Jiro said, stepping into the hallway. "I knew you were weird, but I didn't know you were delusional."

"Fuck. Fanden tag mig i røven" Hans cursed, finally smacking himself in the face. "I forgot about your bullshit quirk."

Hans got the vice president role. Oh, boy. This can only bode well.

As for why Yaoyorozu didn't want the role for herself, across the various arguments, Hans has consistently defeated Yaoyorozu, and since Yaoyorozu is a person that has some self esteem issues, this would probably mean that she thinks that Hans is more fitting for the role. Hope that makes sense.

Logic aside, I think I'm the only crossover author that actually dedicated a large part of an (admittedly short) chapter to the elections. I mean, the position doesn't really do anything in canon, so it's understandable that it was skipped.

My gacha luck is still trash. Nothing's changed. On an unrelated note, I don't like application portals at all.

Discord link: discord . gg / 9t9MK3jHmV

Thank you to my chad editors on the discord server, and "see" you next chapter!

-SpiritOfErebus