Romancing the Ambergris
Chapter 4:
"There he is! Sloppy Joe's U-boat at twelve o'clock, girls." Andy exclaimed and pointed at a monitor screen which showed them what was in front of them (the monitors were more effective than their red tinted windows).
The girls aboard Paige II now saw the rear of SS Joe getting bigger and bigger as their own submarine got closer and closer.
"You-you think he's noticed us?" Vicky asked nervously.
"Could be." Andy replied. "It's possible that the hagfish will recognise our scent before he even sees us."
"You think you can take them on, Andy?" Tammy asked.
"Well, our ship is faster than Joe's ship but not as fast or as manoeuvrable as the individual hagfishes." The chubby boy explained.
"If we're faster maybe-maybe we can simple sneak past him." Vicky suggested, hopeful.
"No way!"
Vicky shivered at the sound of her leader's voice screaming in her ear.
"That filth covered low-life does not leave me at the bottom of the ocean and get away with it!" Paige declared and moved to retake control of the electronic gauntlets for Paige II's claws. "I'm ready to turn that heap of scrap metal into…into an even more scrap metal."
"Stay by the claws, Paige. I got a better idea." Andy stated, lips curving into a confident smirk.
Sloppy Joe was happy to relax while his pets carried his vessel, still he couldn't help but feel like he'd forgot something. "Is today an important date or something?"
Suddenly a giant, monstrous crustacean swam past his window and he yelped in fear. "Ep, ep, ep, a levia-a levia-a kra-a kraken!" He rambled nonsensically.
The giant mechanical sea monster easily past the shark-like U-boat and turned to face it before stopping. Sensing the incoming monstrosity, the two hagfishes abruptly stopped moving.
"Hey, Joe!" Andy's voice crackled over the radio.
"Yhaa!" Sloppy Joe shrieked in surprise upon hearing the voice. He grabbed the radio. "Who-who is this?"
"It's Andy. You know, the captain you covered in slime and left for dead."
"I don't have time for you, boy. I have a giant sea monster right in front of me to deal with." The grime covered man barked, irritated.
"That's not a sea monster, it's a submarine. Correction, it is my submarine. I transformed it after our last encounter."
"Kids today and your toys." Sloppy Joe muttered.
"I have a preposition for you, Joe."
Sloppy Joe blinked dumbly. "A prepo-what?"
"A suggestion." Andy clarified. "Instead of racing to the ambergris, how about we settle thing here and now with a game of chicken? First person to steer away, loses any right to the ambergris."
The green skinned criminal grinned before erupting into laughing. "I like your spunk, kid and I do love me a fun game. You're on!" 'This game I'll win easily. I've sunk his ship once, I can do it again.' He thought with a devilish smirk.
Andy leaned away from the radio and to his crush. "Ready with the claws, Paige. Once they're within reach, grab them like they're the last pair of pink shoes on black Friday."
"I know the plan, Andy. You don't need to remind me." Paige replied with a sigh.
Andy turned back to the radio. "Alright, Joe. We start on three. One, two-
"Whahahahahaha!" Sloppy Joe's maniacal laughter erupted thru the radio. SS Joe's chum-canon once again ejected from its underside and fired a black bag filled with chum directly at Paige II. Using his video-game honed reflexes, Andy pushed the ship's controls and the mechanical sea scorpion dived just in time to avoid the incoming projectile. Breathing in the scent of the chum, the two hagfishes speeded after the bag, dragging the shark-like vessel after them.
"Cheater!" Vicky shouted.
"Hold onto your bucks, girls cause we're going in." Andy called out and the girls strapped themselves in in their seats as he drove their submarine full speed ahead towards their incoming enemy.
Within seconds, Joe's hagfishes was within striking distance. "Now!" Andy shouted, Paige in turn let out her own battle cry as she drove the scorpion's claws forward and grabbed onto the necks of the two fishes.
"Hahahaha!" Once again, Sloppy Joe's laughter crackled thru the radio system. "You really think you can harm my steeds like that. Slipping out of tight spots like your claws is exactly what nature designed them for."
Andy smirked. "That's exactly what we're counting on."
The hagfishes twisted and turned their eel-like bodies, releasing huge amounts of slime into the surrounding water. Eventually, by looping over and thru the mechanical claws, they managed to free themselves but they didn't just free themselves from Paige II's claws but SS Joe's harnesses as well. They then took off to find the bag of chum, leaving Joe in his now immobile vessel.
"Mildred, Haggard, wait! Don't leave me here!" Sloppy Joe shouted.
"And now to make sure you can't use them again. Paige…" Andy spoke thru the radio. The robotic sea scorpion gripped S.S Joe's harnesses and ripped them off the U-boat before slamming it so hard it twirl around, allowing Paige II to grab it by the flanks and crush it.
Joe crossed his arms over his head and crouched down as the walls around him buckled in on themselves. Once Paige II was done with its crumbling and buckling, the once shark-like U-boat looked more like a ball of crumbled up scrap metal. The mechanical sea scorpion then turned around and swatted S.S Joe with its mighty tail, sending it hurling like a comet towards the sea bottom.
Sloppy Joe groaned in both pain and in frustration.
"Now I could just leave you to your fate like you did to me, Joe but since I want to be the better man I've already called coast guard and told them where to find you." Andy's voice crackled thru the radio. He was sort of lying, he hadn't called the coast guard but he was planning on sending a message to the Grossologists so they could pick him up later. He was sure Joe had oxygen for at least a few more hours.
"And in the mean time you can sit there and regret ever standing in the way of Paige Logan." Now Paige's voice came thru the radio. "So long, scum sucker!"
And with that, Paige II turned around and with one mighty tail swipe, jettisoned into the ocean abyss.
"Oh, you think so, eh?" Sloppy Joe grumbled.
A few minutes later…
With his superhuman strength, Sloppy Joe managed to break thru the hull of the shipwreck, now wearing an old aquanaut suit with a copper helmet. He jumped onto the sandy sea bottom before raising his arm and waving about a rotten fish.
He didn't have to wait long before his beloved sea creatures returned to him.
A toothy grin spread across Joe's face.
Meanwhile, in Splatticus State Prison…
Most people would think that the supervillains imprisoned in Splatticus were locked up in their detention cells 24/7 and while that was true for the unruly and the super-powered, for those who followed the rules and had no other power than their keen intellects there were times of limited freedom within these walls, times of mobility and (on rare occasions) socializing.
"Happy Valentine's day, Carly. I made this for you." Doctor Colon proclaimed as he handed his girlfriend a heart made of paper.
Carly Chitin, aka Arachnidia took the gift and eyed it critically. The paper heart had some red text on it. 'To my High school Sweet Heart!'
"This is really dorky, even for you, Cornelius." Her black lips stretched into an amused smile. "So dorky in fact, it's actually kind of adorable."
"I'm glad you liked it. I made it out of toilet paper and wrote the letters in blood, don't ask me how I got it."
"Just morbid enough for my liking, thanks." Arachnidia mused. "You know, I'm happy we went on that date together. When my sister was here, she constantly flaunted her relationship with Sloppy Joe in my face. Like that oaf was any catch."
Doctor Colon frowned. "Are you only dating me to one-up your sister?"
The sinister entomologist placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her knuckles. "Would that bother you?"
Cornelius pondered it for a moment before shrugging. "Beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. I'm happy you finally said yes after I've pined for you all those years."
Uncharacteristically, Arachnidia smiled warmly. "Yes. I don't have many fond childhood memories but your constant flirting was definitely one of those things that made school tolerable."
"If I remember correctly, you weren't too tolerable to my advances." Doctor Colon pointed out before taking a sip of his plum juice.
Both villains thought back to their years in high school when they were classmates. Cornelius would approach Carly with a bouquet of roses and in turn, Carly would toss a big hairy spider in his face, sending the poor nerd running away, screaming.
On another occasion, Carly found a love letter in her locker which she figured was from Cornelius. In response she placed a letter of her own in his locker. When the little nerd opened it the next day he was attacked by a hoard of baby spiders.
At that year's Christmas party, the two found themselves standing under a mistletoe. Cornelius tried to kiss her but of course she dangled a spider on a string in front of him and the little arachnid bit his lips.
"My lips were swollen all the way to New Years Eve." Doctor Colon said in a deadpanned tone.
Arachnidia chuckled. "True, I did tease you a lot but you can't deny I made it up to you."
The crazed proctologist smiled. "That prom night was the only time I was happy in school. You made for such a beautiful prom queen."
Arachnidia blinked. "I wasn't elected prom queen."
"But you did pour a bucket of black widows on the girl who was. That's a dethroning in my book."
'He's such a dork but sometimes he's a real charmer.' She thought happily.
Unbeknown to the couple, Lance Boil who was sitting at the next table was starting to listen to their conversation, bafflement written all over his face.
Arachnidia took a sip of her milk. "So, what happened to your clones? Last I checked you'd cloned yourself and were pulling cappers with three guys who looked exactly like you."
Doctor Colon looked annoyed and groaned before answering. "My clones and I split up after I learned that I literally can't live with myself. So, I stayed here to keep up my criminal career while the others moved, changed their names and tried to start lives of their own."
Arachnidia blinked. "Wow. That sounds like some existential crises."
The proctologist frowned and lowered his head. "I sometimes wonder if they did the right thing. Maybe I would be better off if I changed my identity, my stupid name and quit this supervillain lifestyle."
Arachnidia's mood quickly soured. "That's bull crap!" Her fist slammed the table, startling her boyfriend. "You took that stupid name and you turned into one worthy to fear. Be proud of who you are Cornelius cause no matter how many times you clone yourself, there's only one Doctor Colon."
Doctor Colon blinked. Then his face softened. "That's why I never could get over you. You speak your mind and you never care what anyone else say."
"So I'm a bad girl?" Arachnida said flirtatiously.
Doctor Colon leaned closer. "My bad girl." Arachnidia also started to lean closer and the two puckered their lips.
Unfortunately they were interrupted before they could kiss by one of the guards. "Hey, no physical contact allowed!"
Arachnidia sent the rather burly looking guard a death glare. "Excuse me, I was only going to kiss my boyfriend."
"Doesn't matter. You could have poisonous lipstick or hid a cyanide capsule under your tongue." The guard pointed out.
Abruptly, Arachnidia rose up and stared the guard straight in the face. The tension in the prison cafeteria suddenly got thick as butter, the purple haired woman seemed to genuinely want to tear this guy to bits while Doctor Colon was looking for the nearest exit.
Then she took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm gonna get something to eat." She turned to her boyfriend. "You want anything, honey?"
"No, I'm fine. I'll just wait here." Doctor Colon replied.
Arachnidia then went past the relieved guard, not even looking at him. The moment his girlfriend was out of earshot, Cornelius felt someone tapping his shoulder. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Lance Boil facing him. "Are you seriously dating that demented entomologist?"
Doctor Colon huffed and stuck his nose in the air. "I think everyone here will agree that being a demented entomologist is better than being a former Grossologist. And yes, I am dating Arachnidia."
Lance narrowed his yellow eyes. "Do you know anything about spiders?"
"No, not really." The proctologist shrugged.
"Well, let me inform you then. Female spiders, aka the animals your current girlfriend has based her life on, has this nasty habit of devouring their mates after they've consummated."
Doctor Colon suddenly froze up. "Wha-what are you insinuating?"
Lance Boil smirked maliciously. "Only that if I were you, I would be sleeping with one eye open, cause your paramour might crave some breakfast in bed." With those words, Lance got off his seat and strolled away, leaving the poor doctor to pounder his fate.
At that moment, Arachnidia returned to their table. "What a luck, they had sloppy joes today." She cheerfully said as she grabbed her sandwich and took a big bite out of it.
As he saw the mincemeat and ketchup run down his insane lover's jaw, Doctor Colon couldn't help but gulp in fear. 'Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?'
Later that afternoon, in Ringworm's suburban area…
The sun was already on its way down the horizon, colouring the sky in a smear of red and cobalt blue when Abby and Chester arrived at the site of the Black Shrike Larder concert. It was at the edge of Ringworm City's suburbs, along a hiking trail with a small amount of public facilities here and there.
"Thank you for bringing me, Abby." Chester exclaimed as the duo walked along the trail.
"Don't mention it…for the fiftieth time." Abby retorted sarcastically.
Chester lowered his head a bit but remained smiling. "You know, this is the first concert I've been too since…since coming to Ringworm, actually."
Abby blinked. "You've been to rock concerts before?"
"Oh yes, many. It was one of the best things I knew back in Greenbottle." The blonde leaned in to his friend so he could speak with a lower tone. "A few times when I didn't have any money I snuck in."
Amused, the redhead rolled her eyes. "Oh, look at me, a young damsel on her way to her first rock concert with a verified delinquent. Oh, what will happen to me?"
Now it was Chester who blinked. "First? You mean you've never been to a concert before?"
"Well, I've been to school concerts of course and my dad has taken me to a few operas but not a rock concert like this." Abby replied.
Chester smiled. "I'm happy to accompany you on your first then."
"I have to say, I didn't expect a loner like you to go to social events like this." Abby stated as she looked around. Surprisingly, most people there was nowhere near their age, most were middle aged men, not much younger than her father.
Chester smile adopted a sad tint to it. "Well, I was never a loner by choice. I'm not strong like you that can be happy on her own."
"Yeah…" Abby scoffed, trying to keep down her true feeling. 'I was never alone by choice either, well not in the beginning anyway. I just always had Ty by my size. I'm not stronger than Chester, just luckier.'
"Despite that, I never felt alone at these things even if I always came by myself." Chester explained.
"How so?" The ponytailed girl asked puzzled.
"Because once the music starts and everyone starts moving to the beat, you'll feel like you're in nirvana." Chester finished his proclamation with an elated sigh.
Abby raised an eyebrow. "I don't get it."
"You will once the music starts." Chester replied.
Abby took a moment to smile at how happy her friend looked. "You know, I've heard these things can be sort of rough with drug deals and riots and stuff."
"What? No, no, not at all." Chester was quick to reassure her. "Well, I guess sometimes it happens but it never gets out of control or anything. As long as you don't go looking for trouble, you'll be fine."
"If you say so."
"Besides, you're a black belter and the best Grossologist I know so it's not like you're in any danger or anything." Chester cheerfully stated.
"I know, I was thinking of you." Abby japed.
Chester supressed a chuckle before surveying the area and spotting a vendor selling what seemed to be cheap merchandise to passing byes. 'I didn't have enough money for the tickets but I might have enough to buy some merch.' The tanned skinned boy then looked at his companion. 'Abby's always been so generous to me. Let's face it, she's here more for my sake than anything else. The least I can do is buy something for her.'
"Hey Abby, can you wait here a moment? I-I want to go and get you something." Chester exclaimed.
"Oh, you don't need to do that, Chester. I'm happy just going to this concert with you." Abby said with a smile so genuine and sweet it made Chester want to cry.
"I know but…I want to."
"Okay, can I come with you?" She asked.
"No, I want it to be a surprise." Chester replied.
Abby shrugged. "Fine, as long as it's not heart-shaped or filled with chocolate or something."
With that, Chester left to get Abby's "surprise". Of course, Abby could see where Chester went from where she was standing so it wasn't much of a surprise.
Chester came back a few minutes later. "Look Abby, I got us matching band t-shirts." He unfolded one of the t-shirts to show Abby the logo printed on it. The Black Shrike Larder logo was the silhouette of a bird at the base of a thorn, the tip of which was penetrating a small skull.
"Pretty cool," Abby squeezed the fabric between her thumb and index finger, "but I'm pretty sure this isn't polyester. You sure it's okay for you to wear this?"
"Yeah, I-I think so. I gotten better at controlling my powers and besides, I have my polyester jacket to wear over it." Chester reassured her.
"So, where do we change?" Abby asked and the two looked around.
"How about behind that shed?" Chester asked and pointed at a wooden shed at the side of the trail. "I'm sure we can get some privacy there."
The two walked over to the shed where Abby stopped in your tracks. Chester gave her a questioning look. "Oh, you go first. You didn't expect us to undress at the same time did you?" Abby scoffed sarcastically while crossing her arms, chuckling.
Chester's face immediately turned crimson. "What? Of-of course not, I-I was just-I mean, I thought you would um-um-eh-
Abby laughed a bit. "Calm down, Chester. I was just teasing you."
Chester blinked. "Right, right. Um, I should go now." He rambled before disappearing behind the shed so fast he left behind a dust trail. He came back a minute later, now wearing the Black Shrike Larder shirt underneath his open jacket. "What yah think?"
"Pretty good. I'll go and see if I look any better in it." Abby said and got behind the shed.
She took off her old lavender shirt and started treading her head thru her new shirt's collar. However, at that moment she got the feeling she wasn't alone. Opening her eyes, she spotted a middle aged man standing only a few feet away and smirking lecherously at her.
"Hey." He said.
Abby froze for a moment, chills going down her back. She then ignored the man and treaded the shirt over her breasts and torso. She then went back to Chester.
"Looking good, Abby. Now you're like a real Black Larder fan." The blonde boy complimented.
"Yeah, sure." Abby said, hardly paying attention as she anxiously looked from side to side.
"So, you wanna head to the stage now?"
"What?" Abby asked, finally snapping out of her anxiety.
Chester tilted his head. "Is-is something wrong, Abby?
"Of course, why do you ask?" She reassured him.
At that moment, peering over Abby's shoulder, Chester saw that middle-aged man coming out from behind the shed and grinning at them. Chester put two and two together and his face contorted into a furious scowl.
"Come on, let's go." He sternly exclaimed, grabbed Abby's hand and started dragging her thru the crowds, towards the ticket stand. He wanted all adults there to see that his friend was neither alone nor vulnerable.
Abby for her part was a bit stunned Chester had the gall to take her hand like this and even more surprised by the way her heart was beating. 'This is just how it felt when I started dating Greg.' She quickly shook that thought out of her head. "Chester?"
"Yes, Abby?" He answered without slowing down.
"You're holding my hand."
Chester abruptly stopped in his tracks. He looked at their intertwined hands and then at Abby's embarrassed red face, then at their hands again and then back at Abby's face. He then jumped away from her like he'd just burnt himself. "Abby, I-I-I…" He tried to say he was sorry but couldn't. He was so ashamed his words got stuck in his throat.
Abby sighed tiresomely before smiling to comfort her friend. "It's okay, Chester. No harm done. It was just," she awkwardly rubbed the back of her head, "a tad uncomfortable."
"I-I'm sorry about that." Chester apologized, finally finding his voice. He nervously scratched his arm. "It's just that I didn't like the way that guy was looking at you."
"Yeah, he was a creep but you don't have to worry, nothing happened."
"I shouldn't have suggested we change behind that shed." Chester stated, looking down in shame.
"Come on, Chester. You couldn't have known that would happen." Abby reassured him. "The only one who should feel ashamed here is that creepy peeper."
"Yeah…" Chester sighed. An uncomfortable silence settled between the two best friends as Abby crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head from side to side while Chester kept scratching his arm. "Do-do you still wanna catch the show?" Chester finally broke the silence, jerking his thumb towards the ticket stand.
"Yes, yes of course." Abby replied and the two went to stand in line for the entrance.
As they waited in line, Chester couldn't help but think what just happened or more accurately; what didn't happen. 'Strange. I definitely got angry back there yet Kid Rot didn't appear. Not even a whisper. Maybe…maybe that means I'm finally getting better.'
After a couple of minutes of standing in line, they finally made it to the cashier, a tanned skinned woman with thick red glasses who greeted them with a bright smile. "Well, aren't you a cute couple."
Chester and Abby immediately froze up. "We're not a couple." Abby immediately responded while Chester lowered his head in an attempt to hide his blushing face under his bangs.
"Ooh, not a good idea to reveal that." The cashier cooed. "We have a Valentine discount for couples. Had you kept your mouth shut you'd be let inside for half the price."
"Muck!"
10 minutes later…
The concert was staged in an old soccer arena with the stage having been erected at the far end of the field. The majority of the audience (including the two Grossologists) were gathered on the field but some of the terraces were available where people could sit.
It wasn't until Black Shrike Larder came up on stage themselves that Abby figured out why most of the patrons were men in their thirties and forties. Apparently, the poster she saw in the mall had used a twenty-something year old photo to market the rock band. In actuality, the band members all seemed like they were over forty years old with beer bellies and bald spots. They also seemed to be trying too hard with their make-up and leather jackets.
'Of course this is what they would be like. Chester doesn't like modern music. He likes rock bands from the eighties and nineties.' Abby thought before looking over at her blonde friends who was cheering and jumping in excitement already and she couldn't help but smile.
Meanwhile, aboard Paige II…
Looking up thru the red tinted glass, Paige could see the sea foam floating on the surface. Looking down, she could see the sea floor. The ocean seemed to have run out of sand a while ago and replaced it with a never ending bedrock of dark granite. "We seem to be getting into shallower waters."
"Are you sure you're following Tammy's calculations?" Vicky carefully asked.
"Yes, I'm sure." Andy replied. "I typed the coordinates into the ship's navigational system."
"Maybe your system's broken." Tammy commented.
"No, they're working fine. What reason do you have to doubt me now?"
Tammy rolled her eyes before dryly replying, "Your math was wrong."
Andy groaned in frustration.
"Maybe you are wrong." Vicky exclaimed. "After all, a whale wouldn't want to be in shallow water like this."
"And how would you know that?" Paige asked, arms crossed over her chest while giving her diadem wearing friend a glare of suspicion.
Vicky immediately flinched. "I mean, eh, it would make sense that a big fishy would like to be were there's more water." She hated herself for referring to a whale as a big fishy.
"Well, whales do sometimes beach themselves, tragically, and it's possible the body was simple washed here after death." Andy explained. After thinking for a moment, the bespectacled boy got a notion. "How about I take Paige II to the surface so we can check out what's up."
He didn't wait for his crewmates' reply and simple brought the controls he was grabbing forward, causing the scorpion shaped submarine to ascend towards the surface.
The moment the submarine broke thru the water's surface, Andy called out "Land Ahoy!"
True to the chubby Grossologist's words, only a few hundred meters ahead of them was a small rocky island. It appeared barren and not much wider than a football stadium.
"An island." Paige exclaimed.
"Did not expect there to be land all the way out here." Tammy said.
Andy checked the GPS on his computer. "According to this map, that island is called Chum Rock."
"You think the dead whale is there?" Vicky asked.
"And my ambergris?" Paige added sternly.
"Well, if Tammy's calculations are right-
"They are." The aforementioned blonde interjected.
"This is where the body would've ended up. After all, it is the only place for several hundred miles where anything can be washed up."
It only took Paige II a few minutes to reach the island and for Andy to dock the vessel in a small bay, close enough for them to simple skip onto dry land.
Andy, now wearing his slimesuit and all gear that comes with it, placed one hand and one foot onto the ladder that led to the exit hatchet in the ceiling. Before climbing thou, he turned to his crew. "Any of you girls wanna follow me outside this time?"
"Of course I will." Paige declared and took a step forth. "I have to be there to claim my ambergris." She spoke it like ambergris had become her new favourite word.
Tammy stretched in her seat before standing up. "I will come to this time. It will be nice to stretch my legs."
Vicky didn't say anything but nodded.
Andy was the first out of the hatchet. He took in the view of the place. The island was barren and boring but the ocean was beautiful in the sunset light. 'Perfect for a romantic declaration.'
Paige was next thru the hatchet and like a true gentleman, Andy helped her up the last bit of the way. The moment she got onto her feet however she pinched her nose. "Eeew, what's that horrid smell?"
Vicky and Tammy popped their heads out of the hatchet and they too pinched their noses once they got a whiff of the sickening stench that seemed to lay over the island. "Eeeeeeew" They squealed in unison.
"It smells like slaughterhouse waste that's been rotting in the sun for two weeks." Tammy stated in disgust.
"Or like a leaking sewage pipe." Vicky added.
At that moment, a seagull flew overhead and dropped a deuce right on top of Tammy's head and the copper blonde shrieked in fear. "That's it! I'm not leaving this sub." She proclaimed and climbed back into the vessel.
"I-I don't want to go either." Vicky stated, somewhat nervous that her leader would be displeased with her.
Paige sneered down at her subordinate and placed her knuckled on her hips. "Fine, if you don't have the guts-
"Please, don't mention guts…"
"-to help me, you can stay here with Tammy and guard my ship." Paige stated before placing a hand on Andy's shoulder. "Andy and I got this."
The science geek smiled brightly. Paige might be demanding but her unmistakable faith in him was encouraging in more ways than one. Paige then turned around and jumped off the ship and onto Chum Rock. Andy then did the same. Before he left thou, he turned that bright smile to the girls remaining behind. "Don't worry, Vicky. This is a small island so we shouldn't be long."
"Okay, just be careful." Vicky pleaded.
"We will." Andy nodded before he and Paige turned on their heels and started walking away.
Tammy and Vicky retreated into the submarine, closing the hatchet to keep the foul smell out. The diadem wearing blonde felt an odd vibe in her chest and a fluttering in her stomach. "Tammy, what do you think of Andy? I mean, do you think he's boyfriend material?"
"You mean for Paige?" Tammy asked as she took off her beret and whacked it against the side of a monitor screen in order to get the bird poo off it. "I think Paige will let him take her out a few dates, maybe even letting him get to third base but soon enough she'd dump him and then pretend like it never happened." She stopped whacking her dirty hat and inspected it. "Stupid bird." She grunted before throwing the hat into a corner. "Lucky I have three identical berets at home." She sat down in her seat and took out her phone.
"Yeah…" Vicky sighed thoughtfully. "Tammy, can I ask you something kinda personal?"
"Sure." Tammy replied disinterested.
"Do you like-I mean, do you really think Paige is all that great?"
That got Tammy's interest. She shot the yellow blonde a mean stare. "Are trying to move in on my position as Paige's BFF?!"
"No, of course not." Vicky quickly rebuttaled. "But…I trust you more than I trust her and well, honestly I'm not so sure I want to be her friend anymore."
Tammy's scowled softened. "Honestly she leaves a lot to be desired in the friendship department. I mean, I've worked my caboose off for her ever since junior high. Organizing her parties, filling in for her at the student council when she was too busy, taking notes for her when she's played hooky and she's never even thanked me."
Vicky sat down in the seat next to her friend. "Can I tell you a secret?" She asked rhetorically as she knew she could. "I love dolphins and whales."
The other girl chuckled a little. "That's not much of a secret. The happiest I've ever seen you were on that trip to sea world."
"But I'm afraid to be open about it cause I'm afraid that Paige will mock me for it."
"Sound like something she would do." Tammy concluded.
"And I bet she would do the same to you if you joined the math club or used those mad math skills of yours in some other way."
Tammy sighed. "Probably."
"So why are we friends with her?"
Tammy leaned back against the backseat and gazed up at the ceiling. She let out a long, tiered sigh. "I don't know, Vicky. I don't know…"
Andy and Paige kept strolling along the rugged landscape of Chum Rock at a leisurely pace. The rich girl gazed towards the sunset. "It's getting late, yah know."
"Yeah, even if I complete that perfume for you I doubt we'll have time for any Valentine's fun. Although…" Andy smirked mischievously, "a kiss would only take couple of seconds but still feel like an eternity."
Paige raised an eyebrow at him.
Andy shrugged. "Or maybe we can just set up a private chat on Slimebook to exchange flirty comments and eggplant emojis."
"Or…if this goes well I might let you take me out for dinner sometime." Paige said.
Andy froze up. "Wait. You serious?" He asked as he started running to catch up to the blonde who's taken a thirteen foot lead.
"Well, you are popular and helpful. That's two things I'm looking for in a guy."
The white clad Grossologist grinned. "Really?"
"Yes, really. Although if we were ever to go steady you need to trim down those belly rings. They're not good for my reputation and I doubt they're good for your health either."
"I am so going on a diet." Andy whispered to himself, fists clenched in determination.
After sometime marching, the unofficial couple had to cross a ridge that rose up at the middle of the island. The terrain was rocky and grainy and more than once did they almost scrape their knees on the sharp rocks beneath them.
However once they reached the top and saw was what on the other side, they were both filled with overwhelming feelings of relief, pride and joy. There, down on the beach was the 50 feet long, lifeless sperm whale.
"Is-is that the one?" Paige asked in disbelief without taking her eyes off the carcass.
"Yes. That's the dead sperm whale we've been looking for. Our very own Moby Dick." Andy replied.
"Yes! We found it!" Paige cheered while jumping up and down like she was at cheerleader practise. She lost her balance and almost fell but luckily, Andy managed to take catch her.
"Whoaw, be careful there, honey plum." Andy said as he helped her stand.
"Thanks Andy." Paige thanked with a light blush before heading down the ridge. Andy following suit.
The curly haired blonde reached the massive carcass of the sperm whale, eyeing it like it was a frozen salmon on the fish counter at the superstore. That was until she clenched her nose in disgust. "Oh god. I think I know why this island smells so bad. It's this rotting lump of blubber."
The sperm whale's jaw lied open, showing off the hook like teeth protruding out of its mandible. Its tail had curved towards its back due to rigor mortis settling down and its underbelly had turned slightly pink from exposure to the sun. There were no signs of scavengers and the only thing missing was a piece of flesh by the spine where the tracking chip had been. Most apparent however was the whale's hyper inflated belly.
Andy walked up to his crush. "Yeah, it's a miracle it's lasted this long." He activated the CT scanner on his GrossWatch and aimed it at the whale carcass. "Come on, true love." He muttered to himself as he slowly moved the scanner across the body. Finally, located in the lower intestine and propping up tons of faecal matter was a boulder the size of a car tier. "Its there!" Andy shouted so loud it almost scared the blonde next to him. "The ambergris! I can see it!"
"You do? Let me see." Paige exclaimed and roughly grabbed Andy's wrist to see the tiny screen on the GrossWatch. "Is it that big slab there?"
"No that's the liver. The ambergris is that gruff looking thing there in the intestine." Andy corrected.
"Yes!" Paige cheered and bumped her fist in the air. "I can't wait to smell like Oceania Gold again."
"And I can't wait to smell you smelling like Oceania Gold." Andy said in a miserable attempt at flirting.
Paige grimaced at him. "That's creepy, Andy. If you want to go out with me you need to get better material."
Andy was about to reply but was interrupted by a *beeping* sound coming from his GrossWatch. As he read the values popping up on screen, he was filled by dread. "Oh no."
"What is it?" Paige asked.
"The levels of methane gas and carbon dioxide in this whale is off the charts."
"Well what does that mean?"
Andy gazed at her with a serious look in his eyes. "That this whale might explode any second."
"WHAT?!"
Meanwhile, at the Black Shrike Larder concert…
Abby could hardly believe how good she felt. The band was a lot better than she expected but what really got to her was the energy of the crowd. Listening to the same music, moving in the same rhythm, she could never imagine herself being so in sync with total strangers. This has to be magic Chester was talking about.
Another song came to an end and the crowd applauded. "Man, Chester. This music is awesome." Abby proclaimed and bumped the side of her hip against Chester who stumbled before laughing awkwardly while scratching the back of her head.
"You're getting it, Abby."
The band's lead singer took the mic. "Good evening Ringworm!" The crowd cheered. "Whether you came here with your significant other or came alone to support us, we are happy to celebrate Valentine's Day with you all today!" Once again the crowd cheered.
Abby felt a bit embarrassed to be there with her friend and not a boyfriend. 'Luckily, most people that sees us will just assume we're a couple. Wait, since when did I want people to think he's my boyfriend?"
"However, there are times when our relationships don't go as planned," the lead singer continued, "and sometimes we need to remember what we've lost in order to appreciate what we have."
The keyboard and the guitar players started playing. It was a much more sombre tone than the one before. Eventually the drummer also joined in and after ten more seconds or so, the lead singer started singing.
"Its been many Years.
Many restless nights.
I still regret leaving you
in all your strife."
Abby's optimism slowly started to leave her and was replaced with something else as she listened to the lyrics. She started to feel guilty. She remembered the night Chester turned into Kid Rot, his hand retreating when she reached out to him.
"You were at your lowest point.
Hanging by the end of a tattered rope.
When I turned my back at you,
You lost all your hope."
Now Abby remembered the summer she encountered Kid Rot again and the moment she chillingly declared, "There is no Chester anymore, there's only Kid Rot." She looked over at her blonde friend who happily nodded along to the music. 'I really did fail him, I truly did.' She thought before lowering her head in shame.
"I could have said anything but no.
When you needed me to stay close,
I lost my faith and I cut you lose.
Now it's too late, what do I do?"
The redheaded Archer couldn't take it anymore. She turned around and in a brisk pace, walked away.
Chester was so enthralled by the music it took him a moment to realize that his friend was missing. "Abby? ABBY!" He called out and started running out of the crowded stadium in hunt for his partner. Once he made it out of the stadium, he only needed to turn his head a few times before he spotted her, sulking on a park bench.
Chester scratched his hand. 'Abby's upset about something. I-I wonder if I did something wrong?' Taking a second look at his sombre friend, the tanned blond narrowed his eyes in determination. 'A true friend shouldn't wallow in their own insecurities when their best friend is hurting.' Turning oxygen into courage by taking a deep breath, Chester approached his crush. "Abby, is-is everything alright?" He once again scratched his hand, nervous.
Abby turned her gaze at her friend. "Everything is fine, Chester." She answered with a smile but even Chester could tell that the smile was forced and while she wasn't crying, Abby's eyes were glistening so much she seemed ready to break down any moment.
"Okay…" Another awkward silence settled between the two as Chester thought of what he would say. "You know Abby, even thou everything's fine I-I want you to know that if everything is ever not fine you can talk to me…about anything." He smiled widely in order to seem more confident. "I'm not sure if I could be able to help but you know me, you know I'll try no matter how hopeless I am."
Abby's smiled sadly. "I know, Chester. You never give up, unlike me."
Perplexed, Chester tilted his head a bit. "What do you mean, Abby?"
The redhead lowered her head. "Back when you were possessed by Kid Rot, I gave up on you Chester. We all did. We all just assumed there was no way for you to come back so we all just…abandoned you. If only I had had more faith I could have sought you out and LabRat could probably have cured you somehow. It's only due to circumstances that you're back now, not due to any of our efforts. If I hadn't given up than Kid Rot might not have stolen nearly three years of your life and we could have reunited you with your grandparents earlier and you and me could've have had many great days like this one already."
"A-Abby, I-I had no idea you felt this way." A stunned Chester exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, Chester. I really let you down." Abby admitted. "I hope you can forgive me."
Chester blinked. "Abby, there was no reason for you to believe I could come back. No evidence what so ever. And if you had approached Kid Rot believing he was anything other than the sick psycho that he was, he could have-he could have…" Chester recoiled at the thought of what that evil parasite could have done to his precious friend.
"I know…you're correct, Chester but that doesn't change how I feel." Abby stated, a certain irritation slipping into her tone, she cursed her inability to control her feelings.
"Well," Chester scratched his neck, "not to sound like a broken record but that is exactly the way I feel about the crimes Kid Rot committed. Granted, I actually created him so I think I have more to feel guilty about than you but still…"
Abby sighed. "Chester, your involvement with Kid Rot's creation was accidental. Anyone can make a mistake."
"And anyone can blame themselves for it, regardless of how unintentional."
Abby pouted. Chester was relieved to see she seemed a tad less miserable now but wondered what she was contemplating.
"Do you want me to forgive you?" Abby asked and stood up.
"Ye-yes. I mean, I thought you already had." Chester rambled, worried his best friend had changed her mind about him.
"Not really. I've only absolved you cause I've always thought there was nothing to forgive but if it would help you feel better…"
"That-that might actually feel pretty good and in return I can forgive you, because I don't want you to feel bad about it." Chester exclaimed.
Abby extended an open hand and Chester chook it, then to his surprise, she pulled him into a tight hug. Once the surprise wore off, Chester closed his eyes and hugged her back, basking in her comfortable body heat.
After a few seconds they let go of one another. "Come on, I want to check out the rest of the concert." Abby stated, nodding in direction of the stage.
Chester happily nodded and they made their way back to the concert.
Back on Chum Rock…
"I don't get it, how can a dead whale just go all cabloowy." Paige asked puzzled.
Andy tapped his GrossWatch and it projected a hologram of a dead goat with its stomach contains showing. "It's called Putrefaction. When an animal dies its means of disposing excess gas such as exhaling or farting ceases and bacteria starts converting dead tissue into gases such as methane, carbon dioxide and nitrogen." The holographic goat now started to bloat like a balloon. "These gases build up inside the carcass causing it to bloat, sometimes to twice its original size."
"So I shouldn't fat shame dead people cause they might have been thin when they lived." Paige exclaimed.
Andy sent her a crossed glare.
"What? It was a joke." The rich girl defended.
"Anyway." Andy turned his attention back to the hologram. "In most animals this isn't a big deal. The gases simple expel after a while via the body's orifices but with whales it's an entirely different ballgame." The goat hologram was replaced to that of a beached whale that was slowly bloating. "Due to their immense weight and isolating layers of blubber, the gas doesn't expel but rather accumulate. Eventually, the whale's body can't withstand the pressure of the gases building up inside and…" The holographic whale's belly exploded in a mushroom cloud of blood and organs. "It turns a nice day on the beach into a gore fest that makes the entire Hellraiser-franchise look tame by comparison."
"Okay, so how do we get the ambergris out of that whale without prom-queen-Carrie ourselves?" Paige asked.
Andy raised an eyebrow and smiled lopsidedly. "Did you just do a Stephen King reference?"
"Maybe…" Paige cooed. "So egg-head, what's your solution?"
"Not sure." Andy clutched his chin in contemplation. "I guess the safest method would be to use Paige II's claws to cut a small gash in the whale's belly to let the gas expel slowly but I'm not-
Suddenly, two massive creatures burst thru the ocean surface, startling the two teenagers. After the creatures leaped onto the beach, they recognized them as the two mutated hagfishes. The two sea monsters reared up like a pair of angry cobras and stationed on top of one of their heads was a person wearing an old fashion aquanaut suit. Taking off his copper helmet, the person revealed himself to be Sloppy Joe.
Paige and Andy stared up at the monsters in abject horror. "Joe." The chubby boy vented.
"Shut up!" Sloppy Joe roared. "You turned our game of chicken into a game of battleship when you sunk me so now it's my turn to choose what game we play and I choose apple bobbing but it will have a twist." The green skinned villain chuckled before sinisterly smirking at the young couple. "My hagfishes will be the players and you two will be the apples."
New Author's Notes:
So yeah, not a ton of changes to this chapter, although those who remember the original might notice a few rewrites. First, the scene with Arachnidia and Dr. Colon was moved from chapter 2 to this chapter. I also threw out all the pop-culture references in that scene since I felt they were really out of place.
You may also have noticed that I changed Vicky's sexuality from closeted homosexual to being more ambiguous. I did this cause I felt I wrote myself into a corner when I made her gay. Keeping her ambiguous will give me more freedom when it comes pairings in the future (not that her character will be all that important).
Old Author's Notes:
This is now the second time I've had to write a song for this story and as you can tell, I suck at it. I might never become a professional songwriter but I might make a fortune on designing Grossology toys. I mean, what kid wouldn't want to play with a submarine that transform into a sea scorpion or a GRS-1 that transform into a robot or a MegaFartzilla or the Rip-1s or the GrossWatches or the Gross-Coms or the GRS-2? Yeah, I feel half of season 3 has just been me upgrading and coming up with new tech for the Grossologists.
I'm not sure if I liked the way I wrote the Andy/Paige scenes. I'm still struggling to find a balance between keeping them in character and having them step out of their comfort zones. Surprisingly, I ended up enjoying writing for other two couples in this chapter a lot more.
I loved writing for Abby & Chester again, they're still my favourite couple. I'm only a bit worried that I made Abby a tad too vulnerable in this chapter but hopefully she still comes across as mostly in character.
I'm so happy I choose the concert rather than the hockey game for Abby and Chester's "non-date" as it gave me the chance to squeeze in this dialogue where Abby regrets technically abandoning Chester. I mean, I understand why but it's a bit heart-breaking that Abby & co just gave up on the poor guy. Well, now they've forgiven one another and are closer than ever before.
Speaking of dialogue, you might have noticed a trend of mine where I have characters constantly being interrupted. I know some people might find it annoying or confusing but to me it makes the dialogue flow a lot better.
I'd be grateful if anyone that reads this takes a second or two to write what you thought of this chapter and the story so far. It does not have to be positive and it does not need to be long, any feedback is appreciated.
From Ringworm City with love, my Grossologists!