Disclaimer: Hawaii five-0 and its characters do not belong to me.
...
Bright, white nothingness blinded his vision the moment his eyes opened. His brows furrowed in both confusion and numbing pain. The static in his brain paralysed him, his entire body not quite within his control.
What is going on...
He blinked, an attempt to both quell the piercing buzz in his head and to adjust to the brightness assaulting his eyes. At least one of the two things was accomplished. While the buzz in his head refused to settle, he was now aware of the soft blue eyes staring straight at him, holding him in an almost hypnotic gaze.
Those blue eyes... He knew those eyes. From somewhere…
From..where?
He really should know them. Yet for some reason, he didn't. The cyan crystals glistening sadly, the lines radiating from the corners of those tired orbs, the way the brows were curved crookedly… All too familiar yet unknown.. Why didn't he know? A deep, heavy ache settled in his chest.
He swallowed, attempting to breathe. Except he couldn't. He was made aware of the discomforting resistance in his throat, as though something was lodged in it. Why couldn't he breathe? His rising panic would have completely overtaken his body if it hadn't been for the pair of warm hands clasped comfortingly around his arm in a soft yet firm grasp. He knew that touch too. It had kept him company as he roamed the lonely abyss of nothingness, an unwitting source of comfort.
Then he heard it. An almost fragile voice whispering desperately. The exact same voice that had relentlessly beckoned him to 'come back'. A voice his mind couldn't quite place but his heart had continued its relentless beating for. A voice he never wanted to stop listening to, for a reason he didn't know himself.
"Steve.. Steve, can you hear me, buddy? Stay awake for me, alright? I'm gonna get the doctor for you, buddy. You're alright, you're alright."
He didn't blink, staring hazily, failing to comprehend the frantic plea from the man in front of him.
Wh..ere am I? What..the hell hap..pened? Questions he wanted answered but could not harness the strength to vocalize. His lips were locked, as was his entire body.
"Steve?.."
That had to be his name. Steve.. It had to be.. except, why didn't he know? Why didn't he know his own name.. Why didn't he know who the man in front of him was.. Why didn't he know… anything? Everything was shrouded in a thick fog. Who he was, where he was, why he was there.. he knew nothing. Nothing at all.
"Can you hear me, buddy? Sq..squeeze my hand if you can hear me.."
Who this man desperately calling out to him was, he didn't know. And why his heart seemed to beat a little harder in his chest at the voice repeatedly calling out to him, he had no idea either. His head throbbed as he forced himself to recall some ounce of information. Anything at all. Anything to make sense of what was going on.
"Steve.. please, squeeze my hand."
Nothing. His brain came up with nothing but relentless static that veiled him with overwhelming fatigue. An intense sharp ache radiating from behind his eyes forced his eyelids shut. He craved just another second to look at the man in front of him but alas, nothing was within his control. Too easily, he lost the fight with consciousness and was plunged into the darkness against his will.
...
Danny could barely contain his emotions. Ever since that day more than 2 weeks ago, he had waited for this very moment. The moment he would once again lock eyes with his partner. The moment he would see the blue greys that had stubbornly remained shut for what seemed like an eternity. The moment he would know he had gotten his best friend back. The moment he would hear Steve call out his name. The moment that everything clicked right back into place.
This was supposed to be that moment. It was the moment that he had endlessly prayed for. On those lonesome nights that he had been forced to leave his partner's side, this was the moment he had prayed for, at times in the silence of the hospital chapel and sometimes a prayer he whispered into the vastness of the ocean. With tears as his only witness, he had relentlessly prayed for this single moment that his best friend would wake up. The moment he had only dared dream about.
But the moment turned out nothing like he had imagined. It turned out that this was the moment that whatever was left of his heart broke into smithereens.
Honestly, he hadn't thought there was anything left in the cavity in his chest. The day he had watched his best friend dying in front of him was the very same day his heart had been wrenched mercilessly from his chest. There should have been nothing left to break, nothing left to hurt. Yet, as he stood almost catatonically next to his friend, he could almost hear the remnants of his heart shattering into pieces. The empty gaze in Steve's eyes had been like a slick knife straight through his heart. He swallowed the turbulent emotions churning in his stomach as his trembling fingers reached for the call button while his eyes remained fixed on his partner.
He didn't know what to feel. On one hand, the short-lived relief of seeing Steve conscious for mere seconds should have been enough for him. His friend was alive and now finally, awake. But on the other hand, the oblivion in Steve's eyes ignited the imminent fear in his chest.
What if.. what if Doctor Pearce had been right all along.. What if Steve did wake up but… not the Steve he knew? What if he had killed his best friend after all…
He wavered on his feet, unable to carry the weight of the impending truth on his shoulders. Clutching on for dear life onto his unconscious partner's arm, he heard the familiar whoosh of the sliding door behind him. He didn't turn, refusing to look away from Steve who was blissfully oblivious to the torture he put him through.
"St...eve.. He woke up.." He stuttered, his voice hardly louder than a squeak.
Those were the words he had waited too long to be able to say. Steve was awake. His eternal wait seemed to finally end. But what it meant for him, and what it meant for Steve, he barely knew. And he wasn't quite ready to find out either.
"Let me get Doctor Pearce." The nurse disappeared behind him.
It didn't take long before the relatively large ICU room was filled with way too many medical professionals. As they crowded his partner, he was relegated to a bystander watching cluelessly from outside the room, accompanied only by his rising anxiety.
…
It was loud. Too loud. Voices clanging in his head. Voices he didn't recognise, not the comforting voice he craved to listen to. These voices were speaking too loudly, too quickly, he couldn't quite keep up. His head spun, screaming for them to stop. He cracked his eyes open, though the brightness he was met with quickly forced his eyelids shut again.
"Commander McGarrett? Steve?" The persistent buzzing in his head intensified. "Commander, can you hear me?"
He tried yet again, forcing his eyes open. Blinking slowly, the figures hovering over him gradually came into focus. He recognised the white coats. The stethoscopes.
Doctors...
The offending smell he hadn't been able to place earlier, he now knew was the smell of anti-septic.
Hospital. That, without a doubt, was where he was. The why he had ended up here, he still didn't know.
He inhaled, surprised that he was now able to. Though his throat burned as though hot coal had been shoved into it forcefully, the restrictive force that prevented him from taking a deep breath was thankfully now gone. But something else was gone too...
His pupils roved hurriedly, searching for a face. The familiar yet unknown face. The face that kept his mind at peace and his heart beating. That face was gone. His chest throbbed in tandem with the ache in his head.
Where is he? Who is he? Why does he make me feel this way? His breathing grew rapid, vision blurring as his heart beat furiously in his chest.
Where is he? I..I n..need him? I need him... That was his last thought before piercing shockwaves of agony rushed through his head forcing his brain to shut down.
...
Danny hunched over his partner as he had done over the past weeks. His eyes rested on his partner. Steve was going to be okay. The intrusive ventilator his partner had been hooked up to was now gone, replaced by just a nasal cannula. The colour on Steve's face was gradually returning and his partner looked almost normal. He just wished his partner would return to normal too.
It had been two days since Steve had first woken up and since then, he hadn't left his partner's side. Steve had woken up several more times since, which according to Doctor Pearce was a good thing. But Steve had hardly been coherent all those times. Each time his partner had woken up for not more than a few seconds and hadn't said a word either, making any assessments for his brain function extremely difficult.
He wasn't sure he could trust Doctor Pearce's words that this was completely normal. That Steve would take time to clear out the drugs in his system. Coupled with the amount of time Steve had been in a coma, the time Steve was taking to fully wake up was not particularly concerning. Yet, he just couldn't shake off the terrible feeling in his chest. Call him pessimistic.. but who could blame him? In his life, it seemed that everything that could go wrong, would and has gone wrong. He just hoped Steve wouldn't have to pay the price for it.
He inhaled, shutting his eyes momentarily as exhaustion seeped into his bones. His eyes closed, his hand remained clasped around Steve's arm, both for his own comfort and in case Steve woke up again. He had almost dozed off in the chair when he felt a slight twitch in his hands.
Momentarily, he wondered if he had imagined it as Steve seemed to remain unconscious.
"Steve?" Calling his partner's name, Danny gently patted Steve's arm, as though coaxing his partner to wake up. And maybe it worked because Steve's brows stitched together as his eyes fluttered open slowly.
"Steve.."
...
"Steve?"
There it was. The voice he craved. He opened his eyes, in search of the voice.
"Steve.." He blinked. Warm hands wrapped gently around his wrist comfortingly.
"Buddy? You with me, Steve?"
He nodded, or at least tried to. An attempt he deeply regretted as almost immediately, intense agony rushed through his brain followed by a cruel wave of nausea. His eyes squinted shut as he rode through the pain that didn't seem to lessen.
"Hey, you feeling alright, buddy?"
He could sense the panic in the soft voice yet again, causing his own heart to flip.
"Hang in there, let me get the.."
The comforting touch on his hand disappeared.
Don't..Don't leave.
He stretched his hand as far as he could, blindly reaching for the touch that had left him. Finding the warm fingers, he gripped them as tightly as he could. He blinked slowly, attempting to speak.
"It's alright, Steve. I'm right here." Calloused hands gently brushed his hairline. The soft smile accompanying the warm touch was almost sufficient to lessen the ache in his head.
He swallowed, his lips moving.
"What's that? What do you need, Steve?"
"Nn.." He breathed, feeling a tear slide down his cheek as he struggled to say the word he really needed to.
"Hey, it's alright, buddy. Just relax, I'm right here with you." The rough fingers softly wiped away the tears springing from his eyes.
Swallowing the dryness in his throat, he tried again. He almost couldn't recognise his own voice which for some reason was too rough. But it didn't matter because he managed to say it. And the word he spoke had its intended effect. With just one word, he was rewarded with the most priceless smile he had ever seen.
"St..steve? Can you ss...say that again?" Now tears were spilling from the mesmerising blue eyes. He hated that he had put them there. He hated seeing those eyes filled to the brim with sorrow. Those tears didn't belong there. He would do anything to wipe the grief away.
For now, repeating himself was all he could do and so he did. "Dda.." He breathed, gripping the hand between his fingers tightly. "Danno."
...
A/N: Hey guys, I'm really sorry about the long wait for this chapter.. Life threw some unexpected curveballs and it has been a really tough month.. I managed to find some time to write so I hope you are still interested in what I have for this story. Thanks for reading and take good care of yourselves everyone.