"Shippo, you okay?" Miroku called, standing with his right palm facing outward as the spiraling death of wind in his hand created a funnel into the dark expanse, kicking up rocks and dust as Hiten vainly attempted to fly to freedom, falling into the same trap as his teammate, Manten.
"Yes!" Shippo exclaimed, hopping behind Miroku just as Sango shifted from her assignment to Shippo's.
"Good," he commented, sighing heavily. He usually hated that part of a battle. Most of their opponents recognized that once Miroku used the wind tunnel that it was futile to try and escape from it. Once in its clutches, Miroku would keep it open until the Player acquiesced. Though, what only Miroku's teammates realized was the physical toll the attack actually took on him.
It depleted Miroku.
He couldn't keep it up forever and it diminished his ability to use other moves afterward. It was a failsafe, which was why it was reserved for emergencies and a signal to Inuyasha for help.
Especially using it twice in a single round. Miroku tried at all costs not to. It did almost as much damage to him as it did to the other team. In that way it was a self-destructive means and why he normally reserved it for dire situations.
Shippo, though young, was well aware of this. He stood by Miroku, eyes peeled while searching the clearing for any sign of Kagome and Inuyasha. He fidgeted nervously with his fingers. He couldn't hear anything above the roar of the wind and the groaning of Sango's first assignment and he couldn't see anything beyond Manten's frozen form off in the distance.
It was just them, no Kagome or Inuyasha.
Sango pulled out her first hidden dagger and shoved it deep into the demon's shoulder, twisting it and grunting as one of their opponents fell to the ground. She placed the heel of her shoe on the demon's chest, then kicked it off her blade before re-holstering it and jogging over to grab her hiraikotsu.
"Miroku! I can take him!" Sango exclaimed, sliding her hand through the handle at the end of her hiraikotsu.
"You hear that, Hiten?!" He yelled to be heard above the roaring wind, forcing a confident grin in bluster. "Surrender now or you can deal with Sango and my wind tunnel! Your choice!"
The demon growled, red eyes glaring between them as he tossed around Miroku's offer in his head before turning it down. "Go to hell!"
"Your funeral," Shippo remarked.
Kagome sprinted through the forest, groaning and hissing as branches with thorns caught in the spaces between the edges of her armor and her flesh. It hurt her, but more importantly it slowed her down.
She twisted as she ran, checking to see if her opponent was gaining on her. She couldn't see him but she didn't take much solace in that. Kagome hadn't seen or heard him last time he'd found her either and she'd almost let herself get trapped, just as Sango had warned her not to.
Pushing through the unfamiliar forest, Kagome began to scan the surrounding area for places to hide. He was faster and clearly more equipped for the Arena than she was. She would need to hide until someone came for her or until she could think of a better alternative.
Just then, in the corner of her eye, Kagome spotted what looked like a hidden opening to a cave.
"Yes!" She exclaimed not too loudly before running full speed toward the shelter.
As she approached though, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, her mind warning then screaming at her, 'stop! Stop!' Kagome didn't understand the warnings her instincts supplied until the very last second, her eyes bulging while she skidded to a halt, her feet sliding out from under her as her hands reached out, clawing at the stable ground, digging into the dirt, nails catching and filling with fake grass. Her body slid along the ground, coming to a slow and painful stop as her legs dangled over a previously hidden cliff edge.
The 'safe' cave evidently didn't have a floor. It dropped a hundred feet down almost immediately following the entrance. She groaned, forcing her already tired arms to heave her up and away from the drop. She let out a frustrated sob, wanting to cry out in despair. All of her plans seemed to backfire. The pain, the fear, the exhaustion, it crept over her, finding purchase in her bones and clouding her mind as her feet met soldi earth again.
Worse, as she closed her eyes, shoving down the pain of the exertion it took to pull her body along the ground, an unwelcome and dark energy began to singe the edges of her consciousness. Her sapphire eyes snapped open, her entire body stilling as Kagome realized that Toshu was near.
He was gaining, fast.
She bit down hard on her lip, silencing her cries and resisting the urge to slam her fist into the ground. Pissed and angry, Kagome could feel herself already slipping down into a death spiral of self-pity. 'I-I don't want to die,' Kagome reminded herself, pushing her body up against the screams of her muscles that shook as they lifted her off the ground just as her assignment chuckled, his manic gaze finding hers through the fauna.
Panting as her muscles quaked with exhaustion, Kagome could feel her body and its resolve crumbling, every muscle tremoring in violent shakes, straining under the effort to keep her upright let alone the energy it would take to get her moving again. Standing there, eyes locked with his, Kagome could also feel the unfettered excitement radiating off of him. It was terrifying. She was positive that she'd never met anyone who took such joy in killing before.
Kagome swallowed thickly, willing her legs to move, instead they cried back in protest. But as he took another step toward her she knew she had to try. Holding back the tears that were budding behind her eyes, Kagome attempted to run again. What resulted looked more akin to a fish flopping out of water, her body giving out beneath her, sending her rolling across the ground as his hysterical laughter pierced her ears.
'Get up!' She screamed internally, panic and bile rising in her throat as her legs refused to move. Unsure of what else to do, Kagome began to crawl with her broken arm.
"Get up!" He hissed, mimicking her internal shrieks that fell on the deaf ears of her muscles. "Come on," he insisted, his footsteps reverberating around her as she turned only to notice that his feet were inches from her face. "It's more fun when they fight back."
A sneer broke free from her lips as Kagome rolled her eyes, "no it's not, but it's probably worth more points… isn't it?" She was guessing because really it seemed like anything that may have prolonged her existence in the sick game was purposefully designed to also encourage the most inhumane treatment of all the Players through a cruel points system. It only made sense that her assignment would get extra experience points for killing a player that wanted to live.
His twisted laugh was more than enough of an affirmation of her guess and Kagome felt the distinct urge to throw up again. "You learn quickly," he commented smugly. "You're a low level but being a healer having fought back? That will earn some decent points regardless."
'Awesome,' Kagome thought bitterly while rolling her eyes and trying to think. 'I can't run anymore… but I can still fight him,' she thought, recalling the way that Inuyasha's claws had danced over her skin when placing the daggers along her thighs. 'I won't die here,' Kagome resolved, slowly reaching for a dagger with her good arm.
Forcing the use of her battered body, Kagome gripped the handle to her emergency dagger and twisted, facing her attacker before rising up and plunging the blade into his chest. A naive smile formed for a brief second before quickly falling away, a horrible realization sinking in as Toshu's laughter surrounded her again, her dagger forced from her hand abruptly before sliding over the ground, landing several feet away.
"Oh man!" He exclaimed, laughing at her expense while his wicked eyes looked down at Kagome with unconstrained amusement and pleasure. "You-you thought I wouldn't have armor too?! No one sends humans into battle without armor!"
A tiny whimper escaped from her lips as it sunk in how utterly stupid she had been and that that had been exactly what she'd assumed. Kagome hadn't been able to see it on him until she'd actually attacked for the first time, his whole suit of armor blinking into focus for a brief moment before disappearing again. She realized in horror that the higher level armor must have come with different advantages, one of which being concealment, 'like a damn video game…'
'Don't cry,' she reminded herself weakly, tears brimming along her eye-line right as she felt Toshu shove her against the ground, his knees pinning down her shaky legs, a single hand digging into her good shoulder to keep her mostly pressed to the hard earth beneath.
"Any last words?" He whispered in a dark purr, leaning over her and lining up his sword along her fleshy throat while Kagome narrowed her eyes, glaring at him.
"I'm sorry about your future kids," Kagome muttered.
His brows furrowed in confusion and his head tilted incrementally to the side, "wha-"
Inuyasha soared through the branches, up above the thorns and deeper into the forest. He could still make out Kagome's scent but he didn't like it. It was laced with fear and pain, both noxious odors on their own but when combined it made him sick with his own anxiety. He'd been running for a good minute and still hadn't found her. Inuyasha could feel his heart racing faster than it should have been, his lungs constricting in his chest more than they should have been, his feeling of urgency increasing with every passing second that Kagome wasn't safely in his sight, alive, and out of danger.
Really, it was the desperation he could smell in her scent that was eating at him. He knew she was scared, that much was obvious from the very moment she had bolted out of bed that morning and over to the river to puke. Inuyasha had thought that they had reached an understanding during training, that she wouldn't fucking smell like that again, so desperate, so fucking tired, so close to giving up, that it had him clawing at his own skin to stop the fucking panic that coursed through him like a sickness with her out of sight and so clearly afraid.
With every step toward her, the fear and the desperation in her scent began to ebb out the rest. He could tell she wasn't calm. She wasn't thinking. She was fleeing for her life.
The ears on the top of his head swiveled in every direction, evidencing his own silent desperation to find her. Inuyasha's blood boiled below the surface of his skin and for the second time in less than a week he knew exactly what he was feeling…
Inuyasha was scared.
Genuinely scared.
Unwelcome images of Kikyo played on a loop through his mind as he dove above and through the trees, letting Kagome's scent guide him deeper and deeper into the Arena.
Inuyasha shook his head, trying to rid himself of Kikyo's memory, of the look in her eyes when she'd died beneath him. His heart seized in his chest thinking about the way her blood had continued to drain from her body, long after the light from her eyes had disappeared. He felt his legs pump faster beneath him, the memories in his mind beginning to distort and, against his will, Inuyasha found himself imagining that it was Kagome bleeding out in his arms in the same grotesque manner, unresponsive to his calls and pleas.
Branches smacked and cracked against his skin as he pushed his body to move faster through the terrain, no longer concerning himself with avoiding them, when abruptly they all gave way, exposing a wide river in the middle of the fake forest.
Inuyasha crashed into the shore, his gold eyes widening and pupils shriveling while his nose twitched incessantly. "No… no… NO!" He exclaimed, clawed hands bunching into fists as he frantically twisted and turned along the riverbank where her scent ended.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha snarled, every muscle in his body tensing as the scent of Toshu mingled with hers. His thoughts began to stutter, and his vision began to blur as the mild panic he'd felt took on a life of its own, enveloping his entire body. A vicious, embittered roar cut through the air, rattling the leaves and trees around him as Inuyasha expressed his own desperation and fear.
"I have to find her," he muttered to himself unthinkingly, ears pinning back to his head, looking around the river again, running up and down it, trying to pick up her scent again to no avail.
As he circled back to try again for a fourth time, a new thought replaced his previous toxic loop. 'In training… she…' Inuyasha stopped and looked across the expanse of the river. 'In training she swam.'
Inhaling sharply, focusing on the other side of the river, Inuyasha knelt down then launched himself into the air, "you better not die on me!"
She watched his face contort in confusion as her wrist flicked, ignoring the shooting pain in her fractured arm to grab at the other dagger at her side. Without hesitating, Kagome pulled the dagger out and jammed it up, into her opponent's groin. The blade screeched against the outer edge of his armor before sinking into soft flesh that hadn't been covered.
Kagome waited, feeling his sticky, hot blood begin to drip across her hands and onto her legs beneath him, his face paling and his grip on her and his sword loosening as he registered the injury.
Sango's words from training rang through Kagome's mind.
"A moment's hesitation is the difference between a mere cut and a dagger through the chest. It could save your life."
With abrupt clarity, Kagome realized that that was the moment that Sango was referring to. And Kagome took it. With the adrenaline giving her another boost, Kagome shoved Toshu off of her, wincing as his sword sliced through some of her armor and broke the skin on the surface of her arm, but otherwise left her intact. 'Better than across my neck,' Kagome thought as she rolled away from him.
He groaned loudly, hissing while his hands wrapped around the handle of the dagger embedded between his thighs.
Kagome couldn't stand but she knew she needed a weapon. She began to crawl to where her other dagger had landed, slinking across the ground, her heart thundering in her chest. Kagome could hear Toshu stand up, pulling out the dagger from his muscle with a hiss.
She turned, eyes wide and terrified as he looked down at her, furious, blood still draining from his leg. He staggered forward, nothing short of hell in his eyes, "you bitch!"
Her fingers finally brushed along the handle of her other dagger. In a desperate bid to bring the fucker down and buy herself a minute, Kagome gripped the knife then flung it in his direction.
"Shit," she muttered, watching as the dagger sailed by him, straight into the bark of a tree behind him.
"Time to die," he snarled, lifting his sword in the air, his arms beginning to shake, his breathing becoming ragged.
"Kagome!"
His voice cut through it all.
The fear.
The panic.
Everything, as Kagome lifted her eyes.
'Inu-Inuyasha!'
In a flash, Kagome's vision of her opponent was blocked, instead filled with the breathtakingly welcome image of familiar silver hair and a matching grey uniform. His feet crashed into the ground right in front of her, dropping down from the trees, his claws out and glinting in the light of the Arena.
But before Inuyasha could act, Toshu slumped down to the ground, his sword clattering onto the dirt as a weak groan slipped out.
An eerie silence filled the space between the three before a loud boom rang over them. Kagome looked up, her shoulders releasing their previous pent-up tension as her team logo splashed across the sky next to the word "winners".
A sob escaped from her lips as she realized that… she'd survived.
Inuyasha turned to her immediately, dropping down to kneel next to her, his gaze instantly drawn to the blood that decorated her arm, chest, and legs. His nose twitched violently as he realized it was a mix of her blood and Toshu's. "Are you okay?"
Kagome's relief at surviving was brief before a whole new panic began to set in. "He needs a healer!" Kagome screeched abruptly, out of breath and eyes widening while causing Inuyasha's ears to pin to the back of his head.
The half-demon recoiled slightly, surprised and confused by her outburst. "I don't give a shit about him! I'm talking to you! Are you hurt?!"
"I'll live but he won't!" Kagome cried, reaching out and grabbing at the fabric that covered Inuyasha's chest and shaking him violently. "I stabbed him in the groin! There's a big vein there! He's bleeding out!" Tears began rolling quickly down her cheeks, her sapphire gaze flitting between her opponent's slumped over form and Inuyasha who looked at first unfazed then mortified. "Stop staring at me! Get him a fucking healer!"
Inuyasha looked at her dryly, "he can die for all I care."
"Inuyasha!" Kagome bellowed, shaking him more and screaming right in his ears.
He glared at her, his eyes hard and dark. Inuyasha felt inexplicably pissed. Kneeling there in front of Kagome, a number of emotions passed through him, the most obvious being relief. If he had had any doubt beforehand that had been blown out of the water as he looked at Kagome right then and there. He had been terrified of losing her but what he was most upset over was that this… wench was hysterically screaming at him over the person who tried to kill her. It wasn't that he was expecting some sort of grand award or anything but… not even a 'thank you' or a forced 'good to see you'?!
He'd been so worried and-
Inuyasha frowned at his own thoughts and feelings. Why did he care if she was happy to see him? It was a Game and saving her was his job.
"Fine, fine, just stop your yammering. Sheesh," Inuyasha sneered, pushing down his frustrations over his own feelings of relief toward Kagome and rolling his eyes before picking her up, slinging Kagome across a shoulder as gently as he could then grabbing the human who - Inuyasha had to admit - was slowly becoming colder to the touch.
Kagome gripped onto Inuyasha tightly with her good arm, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the half-demon. "Don't worry," he murmured, "I won't drop you. Just… don't scream? Okay?"
"Okay," she mumbled in response, burying her head in the crook of his neck, leaning across his chest, as he bounded into the air, carrying both humans back toward the center clearing.
Heeding Kagome's concerns, Inuyasha dropped off their opponent with his team first and told their healer to get to work. He ignored the glares from the other team, including from Hiten and Manten who looked like they'd just eaten a hearty helping of humble pie.
"Are you okay to walk?" Inuyasha asked in a soft tone, shifting Kagome so that she rested easily on his back before she had a chance to answer, his arms looping under her knees while she lazily draped hers over his shoulders.
"No," she murmured, her eyes shut and voice meek. Every muscle ached. All her prior adrenaline seeped out, taking with it the numbness Kagome hadn't realized had been shielding her from the brunt of the pain she'd experienced during the round. Her fractured arm throbbed, unbearably loud in the cacophony of pain.
Inuyasha sighed in response as he walked her over to where Sango, Miroku and Shippo were huddled. His eyes and ears remained on her as he walked, listening to the steady, rhythmic sound of her heart and feeling all the muscles in her body relax as he moved, holding her close while trying to ignore the unnerving sense of solace he found in having her back, knowing that she was safe in his arms.
Shippo looked up from where he was seated on the ground, picking at the artificial grass as Inuyasha came into view. "It's Inuyasha!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet, green eyes expanding and face breaking into a huge smile when he noticed that Kagome was with him. "And Kagome!"
Sango and Miroku turned, watching the little fox run toward Inuyasha, slowing as he realized that Kagome was barely conscious. "Is-is she-"
"She's alive," Inuyasha responded.
Shippo's lip trembled and his hands shook, a heavy exhalation of relief leaving his system. "Thank you," he whispered, big, tearful eyes meeting Inuyasha's.
"Honestly, Toshu should be thanking me more than you or her," Inuyasha remarked. "She's just tired and over exerted herself. He was dying."
"Wait, seriously?" Miroku asked in surprise.
"Yeah, I'll tell you more in a bit. Right now, let's get her to Ayame."
Kagome groaned, feeling the sharp ache in her arm begin to dull then evaporate as she slowly became reacquainted with consciousness. Her eyes fluttered open, looking up at the pixelated sky and the fake light it emitted. Slowly, she turned, smacking her lips at the dryness of her mouth.
"Hi," Sango squeaked next to her, mulberry eyes looking warmly down at her.
"Hey," Kagome croaked back, shifting and looking over to see Ayame focusing on her left arm.
"You, uh, you fractured your arm," Sango explained softly.
Kagome nodded, "I figured."
"But," Sango continued, reaching out, both her hands encasing Kagome's, "you survived."
"I… I broke your rule," she murmured, her eyes falling to the side in shame and guilt.
"Kagome, the most important rule is survive," Sango swallowed, her previous small smile turning down in a guilt riddled frown. "I-I'm sorry if… if I made you feel like you… you couldn't do what you needed to to survive…"
Kagome chuckled, "you were right though… I almost died like three times in that stupid forest. And it had nothing to do with Toshu."
"There are a lot of traps," Sango agreed, squeezing her hand more tightly.
"You didn't tell me about them," Kagome murmured, looking up at her. She wasn't angry with the fighter, mostly it was a fear. Sango and the others had thrown so much information at her and yet there were still so many things Kagome realized she wasn't aware of. It was an almost paralyzing sense of ignorance that filled Kagome with dread and worry.
Sango pursed her lips together, sighing heavily before answering. "You looked so overwhelmed I didn't want to add to it before your first match. Especially with you and Inuyasha fighting so much…"
Kagome nodded, "I understand."
"Alright," Ayame announced, her tone far less chipper and friendly than Kagome remembered it from the day prior. "You should be fine for now. I need to rest but I'll come by tomorrow to finish up, okay?"
"Thank you, Ayame." Sango bowed in gratitude.
The wolf demon nodded, giving both girls a weak smile. She turned to Kagome, "go drink. I'm happy you made it out alive. You deserve to celebrate."
"Thanks," Kagome replied, sitting up and feeling, to her relief, mostly like herself. She was still sore but her muscles were listening to her and her arm no longer felt like it was burning from the inside out.
Kagome looked around and noticed that they was at their campsite. "H-how did I get back here?"
"Inuyasha carried you. You were out after the round," Sango supplied evenly.
"Where are the others?" Kagome asked.
"I told them to go ahead and head to the Square to watch the rest of the rounds."
"Thank you for staying with me," Kagome mumbled, giving Sango a shy smile.
"It's what friends do…" Sango murmured meekly, blushing and releasing her hold of Kagome's hand.
"Yes, friends," Kagome nodded in agreement. "Shall we go celebrate then?"
Sango nodded happily, meeting Kagome's gaze and standing with her. Sango led the way to the Square with Kagome in toe.
"So… Where are we going?"
"There's a special section reserved for Players after rounds in the Square. Rules are strict, you play nice or you're tossed out. It's the only place you can get alcohol in the entire Grid. So… most people play nice."
"Got it, don't start a fight." Kagome giggled.
"Exactly, otherwise Miroku would be livid."
Walking past the seating area and up to a door hidden in the side of the wall nearest the large area filled with metal benches in the Square, Sango approached a retina scanner. Kagome watched in fascination as the door she hadn't noticed the day earlier opened automatically, allowing both entry. Kagome bit down on her bottom lip and looked around once inside. She was immediately struck by how much it resembled a normal dive bar back home. It was boisterous and loud, with warm lighting, lots of seating and even large glasses of sake sloshing around in Players' hands.
It felt so oddly banal in a place like the Grid. She found it a little jarring, worrying her lip as she followed Sango into the establishment, memories of the trauma she had endured a few hours prior slowly bubbling to the surface. "I have to admit, this isn't what I expected after a game," Kagome murmured, instinctively looking around not for the faces of her teammates but those who had attacked her.
"It's weird right?" Sango asked. "Not really sure what purpose it serves seeing as everything else seems like a goddam torture device but don't mention any critiques to Miroku, okay? He's worried it would get us banned by 'management.'"
"Who's management?" Kagome asked, trying to shove down the anxiety she felt looking at all the other Players who had survived. It wasn't lost on her how most were in peak physical condition and that she was well… there. Despite the healing session, her muscles still ached from her earlier exertion. She figured with time it might get easier but even the mere thought of being back in the arena had her lungs constricting and heart racing again, a cold sweat breaking out.
Kagome knew she'd just barely survived and looking around her at the other Players didn't really give her a sense of optimism.
Sango shrugged nonchalantly, as if she thought the entire concept of bar 'management' was ludicrous. To her it just was. It existed in the space and was a thing they all partook in. It was simply not questioned.
"Kagome! Sango, my dear!" Boomed a loud and familiarly warm voice.
"Well, looks like Miroku found us," Sango laughed, turning toward where the sound had come from and pointing so Kagome could see. Sure enough, the man was standing on top of his seat, waving like a lunatic, cheeks already pink and face similarly adorned with a broad lopsided smile and hazy gaze.
"He looks happy," Kagome whispered as they walked up.
"Oh, he is definitely swimming in it," Sango answered, giggling with Kagome as they walked up, looping her arm through Kagome's and pulling her close.
"God, it is so fucking good to see you!" Miroku exclaimed, stepping off his seat before placing his drink on the table and tossing his arms roughly around Kagome, squeezing tightly. "I was so worried! I thought you were a total goner when you ran into the woods!"
"Don't pop her!" Sango hissed, swatting at Miroku as Kagome began to cough, unable to fully breathe under the brunt of the man's affection and relief.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Miroku apologized, his words slurring slightly as he backed away. "I was just, fuck. I was scared, okay? I was worried. You ran into the forest and then Inuyasha was in there for a long time before we saw either of you again… so, yeah..."
Kagome nodded understandingly, her gaze dropping to the floor in embarrassment. She hadn't realized her actions would have worried them all so much. She'd been silently holding on to the recollection that they had each - save for Shippo - attempted to trade her. It had cut her deeply but standing there, having seen the fear and concern in both Sango and Miroku's gazes made her think differently.
It was a game of survival. It had nothing to do with her as a person or her value. They were essentially gambling. Trying their best to stack the odds in their favor without any promises or guarantees.
It wasn't a warm comfort to her but it did explain things.
Kagome sucked in a hard breath, preparing to respond to Miroku's comments when another familiar if not grating voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Hey! I have a bone to pick with you!" Growled Inuyasha, coming up to stand next to Miroku, glaring down at Kagome, gold eyes burning though there wasn't an ounce of actual vitriol or anger in them like she was expecting.
"Why don't we let her get a drink before we berate her, huh?" Sango suggested, placing her hands on Kagome's shoulders and squeezing. "I think after the day she's had she's earned a cup."
Inuyasha's brow twitched in annoyance but he waved them off flatly, letting the two continue their stroll through the bar.
"Inuyasha can be so insensitive sometimes," Sango muttered irately, guiding Kagome through the throngs of celebrating Players.
It wasn't lost on Kagome that the mood in the establishment, though lighter and generally more jovial, was also laced with an undercurrent of despair. Between all of the boisterous winners were just as many despondent losers, metaphorically licking their wounds and self-medicating with whatever they could. While Miroku and the others seemed to be in generally good spirits after the last round, several teams stared somberly and vacantly around them.
As she and Sango made it to the counter, Kagome realized that she never wanted to know what expression Sango, Miroku, Shippo, or Inuyasha would wear if they lost.
Especially not because of her.
"Okay!" Sango exclaimed merrily. "Your options are shitty warm sake, shitty cold sake, shitty sparkling sake, and whatever the hell the 'Grid Special' is…"
"Uh," she began, "I'm not sure…"
"Awesome, shitty warm sake it is then!" She laughed, grabbing a fresh glass and pouring the beverage from one of the bottles on the wall before handing it to Kagome. "Enjoy."
"Thanks," Kagome mumbled, grimacing at the drink while Sango made herself a glass.
"Word of warning," Sango began, pouring herself a cold sake. "Under no circumstance do we talk strategy here. Understood? You will not explain your thought processes during, after, or before a match or anything about our team, got it? Nothing."
Kagome nodded quietly, noticing the way Sango's expression hardened as she spoke, that steely wall coming down and guarding her features.
"I know this is a lot to take in. I know you've been through literal hell today," she continued, "but this is not the time to express that. The men… they…" Sango paused, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she turned to face Kagome again. "They get emotional. We… cannot. We can't be involved like that, got it? I know it seems unfair and at times it's going to seem like we have to baby sit adults but it's important… nothing - and I mean nothing - in the Grid is private."
Sango's focus seemed distant as she spoke, as if it was really a veiled message and that she was speaking to something else, to some other event that Kagome was not yet privy to, instead of providing Kagome with the context that would aid her or help her learn the ways of life in the Grid. Her mind immediately flashed back to what people had been telling her about Kikyo and Inuyasha.
Both Miroku and Sango had made remarks about their relationship in a very short amount of time. And while Kagome would expect that Kikyo and her life - or death for that matter - would come up, it was the way that each person seemed to tip-toe around Inuyasha and his relationship with the woman that had Kagome feeling out of sorts.
"Don't bring up Kikyo. Okay? He and her… they were… it doesn't matter."
"She, um, she was closer with Inuyasha."
Their words turned around in her head as Kagome stood, quietly letting Sango speak.
"The men get over excited, especially when booze is involved. They like to talk," Sango sneered, pausing to have a sip of the ill crafted beverage. "Talking too much will give away too much. Hell, smiling too much will give away too much."
"Understood," Kagome responded firmly. "I won't talk about anything important or 'private.'"
Sango nodded and Kagome watched her formerly steely expression soften, her free arm circling around Kagome's shoulders while walking back with the woman to their table, seemingly satisfied and pleased with Kagome's response.
Shippo immediately bounded over to Kagome as she and Sango returned, green eyes overly large and filled with a joy so pure it made her heart ache. "You did great today, Kagome!" He exclaimed, taking the spot immediately next to her as she and Sango sat.
"Thanks," she answered sincerely, smiling down at him. His hope and optimism made her feel momentarily at ease, though it was still tinged with sadness.
"I can't believe you literally stabbed a man in the dick!" Miroku sputtered quickly, clearly tired of holding back his enjoyment at the concept. "I mean… wow! What a way to debut in the Arena!"
"I can't believe you fucking ran into the woods when we told you not to," Inuyasha hissed, ignoring Miroku's comments and glaring at Kagome.
"Hey," Sango snapped, pointing a finger at the surly half-demon. "She did what she felt she had to. We will work with her tomorrow! Let's just be happy we got some damn points on the board and made it out alive, dicks and all."
Miroku giggled to himself, still enjoying the mental picture of Kagome taking a dagger and stabbing a man's pride. "This is amazing. I really thought you were too innocent for something like that."
"I didn't really like it," Kagome mumbled, looking down at the glass of warm sake in her grasp, recalling the way the man's blood had drained from his body onto her hands and legs, and how quickly he'd sputtered before going pale and crashing to the ground after that.
"No one does," Miroku stated, "but we need to savor the small moments if we're going to remain sane. I can say, without a doubt, that in my entire time here you are the first to do that."
"A shallow comfort at best, I'm sure," Sango commented, rolling her eyes.
"Should we take bets on which of these fuckers is going to get into a brawl first?" Inuyasha suggested in a bored manner, not the least bit interested in talking about daggers and dicks, amber eyes already observing two Players get into a heated argument not twenty feet away.
"Oh yes!" Miroku beamed excitedly, "my favorite game!"
The team stayed for a few hours before staggering out of the bar and back toward their campsite. Kagome hadn't been able to really enjoy the experience the way the rest of the team, even Shippo, had. Even in the bar everything seemed to be related to violence or winning. She understood, strategically, why no substantive conversations should or could be had there but Kagome also hadn't really expected every topic of discussion or idle game to be related to more fighting. She found the whole experience… exhausting.
Even then, walking back to the campsite, with two drunk fools leaning on their friends while giggling dumbly with a sleeping child, Kagome wasn't sure what to make of anything.
Sango apparently, like Miroku, really enjoyed sake. She'd gone back for several rounds even engaging in a drinking competition with the dark-haired man. He'd won but neither were really in good shape to walk by themselves after that.
That had left Inuyasha to guide Miroku home with the tuckered out kitsune on his shoulder and Kagome attempting to help Sango along the path.
"Thank you so much," Sango gushed, clutching onto Kagome tightly, her words barely coherent. "I promise… I promiseI'm not normally this bad."
"Don't believe her," Inuyasha remarked, rolling his eyes and glowering at Miroku who was palming Inuyasha's chest and pulling at the uniform he wore, muttering something about putting their team logos on the front along their chests versus a patch on the side of their arms.
"Hey!" Sango sniffled, tears brimming her eyes, "I don't need your judgment! Today was hard…"
Inuyasha felt like reminding Sango that everyday in the Grid was hard. Nothing about a constant fight to the death was easy or pleasant. It was grinding on his nerves that everyone seemed so overburdened with emotions that evening. Or, really, the problem had been that everyone had just been fawning over Kagome all fucking night.
Who cares if she stabbed a man in the dick? She had barely managed to get out. Worse still, her stunt had put the team in danger. And it had-
Images of Kikyo flitted through his mind and he shook his head. He didn't want to think about it again. It already haunted his nightmares and had made it all but impossible to sleep the last two nights. Nothing about reliving her final, tragic moments seemed beneficial.
"You…" Sango continued, her voice suddenly smaller as she looked over, mulberry eyes locking with Kagome's. "You remind me a little of my brother."
"Your brother?" Kagome asked, heart sinking further in her chest as she abruptly realized that she hadn't actually thought about Sota or her family since the Game. She'd been so caught up in the Grid and all the rules and the anxiety and fear that she hadn't even… she hadn't even thought-
'Did he… did Sota watch today?' Kagome wondered bitterly.
"Yeah," a sob hitched in the woman's throat, "he, uh, I lost him several years ago but… he was… bright and innocent… like you."
"I'm so sorry, Sango," Kagome cooed, pulling the woman closer into a tight embrace and feeling her hot tears soak into her uniform, even as Inuyasha kept walking.
"I-It's okay," Sango mumbled, wiping her eyes and pulling away, "at least… at least he will never have to see me lose in here."
Kagome's shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily, biting down on her lip to stop it from quivering.
"Are you coming?!" Inuyasha called, irate and staring back at the two women. He had no patience for Sango's drunken tears or rambling about her dead brother. Was it callous? Absolutely. Did it change anything? Not a damn thing.
"Ugh, he's such a jerk," Sango grumbled before resuming her walk with Kagome. "Love him to death and all but hate him too."
Kagome smiled awkwardly at Sango as the fighter trailed off, talking about something Kagome couldn't piece together through her slurring words and errant tears.
When they reached the campsite, Kagome helped Sango into her bed and watched the woman quickly fall into a deep slumber with Shippo curled up closely next to her. She turned, examining the room that housed all their things and beds, noticing that Miroku had also fallen fast asleep but that Inuyasha had left.
Looking behind her, Kagome found him starting a fire.
Her eyes cast downward briefly, running over her own bed. She didn't feel the least bit tired. Her gaze paused, catching the red kimono poking out from under her blanket. Kagome looked back over to Inuyasha, sitting by himself staring into the pit as the tiny spark he'd created in the twigs grew to consume the log he'd grabbed.
Kagome's feet moved before she could recognize that she'd made a decision, carrying her over to him. She sat down quietly a respectful distance away.
"Thanks," she murmured, knowing he'd probably hear her despite her soft tone.
"For what?" He answered dryly without so much as looking at her.
"For coming to get me earlier." 'As if that wasn't obvious…'
Inuyasha rolled his eyes but didn't otherwise respond. It was his duty to protect her, wasn't it?
Kagome fidgeted with her fingers in her lap, breaking the stiff silence that had settled around them. "I, uh, I wouldn't have gotten through that… if… if not for you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't have to keep thanking me," he sneered. "It's my job to provide back up." Inuyasha refused to look at her, keeping his gaze straight ahead, not wanting to show how badly he'd wanted to hear it, unsure why it mattered to him at all let alone why it mattered so much that he felt a gentle warmth and strange tranquility slither through his tired bones.
"No," Kagome pushed back, "I mean, yes, thank you for physically coming for me but what I meant was also that… when I was alone in the forest… I really-I really wanted to give up…" She paused, her throat feeling tight and eyes pricking with tears at the recollection. She'd been so tired and scared and then his image had shown like a beacon in her mind, giving her a reason to fight. "But… I-I thought of you and I… kept going."
Inuyasha blinked silently, unsure of what to say to that even as a timid blush singed his cheeks. He kept his breathing measured and stared ahead. She made his chest feel tight but not in a painful way. He rather liked the feeling but he hated that he liked it.
She hadn't been the only one who had had a traumatic experience that day. Inuyasha kept replaying that moment by the river when he'd lost her scent. Just like that, he'd almost lost her. It had wracked his entire body in a way that was so foreign and absolute in its hold Inuyasha genuinely wasn't sure what the hell had come over him.
Truthfully, he had understood Shippo's reluctance to trade her. He had felt it too, the electricity that hung around her. It clung to the air and bit at his skin. There was something there, within her, but that wasn't what bothered him. It wasn't what made him push her away or what made him want to dump her on another team.
It wasn't so much what made her different but what he didn't understand about his own desire to be near her that frustrated him and had Inuyasha spiraling in his own mind.
She was electric. Even sitting there then, Inuyasha felt like little bits of her were popping and crackling on his skin.
A replacement for the irreplaceable, Kagome was becoming something entirely undefinable and necessary in a way he felt inadequate to describe and terrified of being close to. The people he was close to never survived for long, no matter their power or skill.
Kagome waited patiently for a response, letting her gaze flicker up to him every now and then as the seconds ticked by and even as he let another heavy silence sit between them.
"Don't let the win go to your head," Inuyasha finally stated, feeling the need to put emotional distance between them, his firm tone breaking through the quiet air with force. "You've got a long way to go."
She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes, chewing on the inside of her cheek in frustration.
"Oh, and…"
"Yes?" She asked hopefully, perking up.
"Don't run off like that again," Inuyasha hissed, finally looking back at her, his amber eyes cold with an anger that tore at her instantly and made her pause. His voice softened, but barely, as he continued. "You should get some sleep. You have a long day of training tomorrow. We have three days until our next match and you're still pretty useless…"
"Wow, gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," Kagome growled sarcastically, getting to her feet and walking over to her bed, silently cursing herself under her breath for trying to build a relationship with him that wasn't entirely founded on hurling insults, or rocks, at each other.
Even for fake lighting, the rays of 'sun' the following morning felt blinding and painful as Kagome groggily forced herself out of bed with Inuyasha standing above her, unimpressed with her sluggish movements.
"Oh, don't want to go swimming today?" He taunted earning him a quick glare from the raven-haired woman.
"Leave her alone, Inuyasha," Sango scolded. "Not everyone finds your brashness or rudeness charming."
"You really should be more gentle with women," Miroku added, before Sango tugged on his ear for the comment. "Hey! What was that for? I'm agreeing with you!"
"No you're not," Sango snapped. "You and I both know that comment was laced with innuendo."
Miroku shrugged in response, turning back to his food.
"How's your arm, Kagome?" Shippo asked, walking up to her and standing between the healer and fighter.
"A little stiff," she murmured, trying to flex it and stretch out her muscles. Truth be told, her entire body was stiff. It felt nothing like it had the first time Ayame had healed her. This time she could feel the toll that being in the Grid had taken on her. Put simply, it sucked.
"No surprise there," Miroku commented. "You wore Ayame out yesterday. She's going to come back after she's rested to help you with everything else."
'That's right,' Kagome suddenly recalled, 'she'd said that mending bones was tiring for her.' She bit down on her lip, cradling her arm against her as her shoulders sagged. Kagome released a long, sullen breath as she realized that she wasn't just a dead weight for her team but that she was also a problem for the wolves.
"Hurry and do whatever else it is you need to do to get ready. You're spending the morning training with Miroku and then after lunch… you and I will be sparring again," Inuyasha explained with an arrogant huff
"Oh!" Sango exclaimed excitedly, getting up from her spot near the fire and jogging over then pulling out something from the other side of their sleeping quarters. "I got you new uniforms!" She beamed, stepping forward and handing them to Kagome. "These should fit a lot better."
"Thanks," Kagome replied, graciously accepting them before walking behind the enclosure and changing. She had slept terribly and barely felt rested. Her dreams - or nightmares really - had been a cacophony of painful images. The worst of her time in the Grid playing on a vicious loop with random moments that felt familiar but also seemed so distant to her.
After changing she walked back over and grabbed her food. Sango, Inuyasha and Shippo were already grabbing their gear and heading down the path to the training area. Leaving her with Miroku, who looked pensive as he stared into the morning fire.
"What's on your mind?" Kagome asked, attempting to make conversation.
"Our next battle," he began, shifting to face her, "it'll be a challenging one. Most of the team really isn't that big of a problem."
"But?"
"But Yura is," he informed with conviction. "She's a formidable and versatile opponent. She's incredibly skilled at long range attacks and is mostly an offensive Player. It makes it difficult for us to get a handle on her." Kagome nodded, nibbling on her breakfast, her thoughts running back to the bow that was laying on the sideline of the training space collecting dust. "We have to be smart when we face her. We need to have a good plan and an even better back up plan."
"Is she really that difficult?" Kagome mumbled, feeling that creeping self-doubt and insecurity begin to burrow and expand in her chest. 'I wonder what injuries Ayame will have to help me with after that fight…'
"Yes, she is and-" Miroku cut himself off abruptly.
Kagome sighed loudly, rolling her eyes, "just say it."
"In the past our best advantage had been Kikyo," he answered, swallowing thickly as he waited for a moment, looking over at Kagome and noticing the impassive look in her eyes. "She was an incredibly skilled archer but more than that her ability to put up barriers and provide mid-round healing was crucial. We have to significantly adjust our strategy if we are going to survive." Miroku had contemplated not sharing that information but, he figured that, she was part of the team. She needed to have a realistic understanding of what they were up against.
'Awesome,' Kagome internally deflated, looking down at her half-eaten meal. "So…" she began anew, locking eyes with Miroku when he looked over at her, "let's get to it. How do I put up a barrier and how do I heal people?"
He smiled at her, encouraged by her spirit, and gestured for her to come closer. "You need to find a person's energy signature, to locate the core of their power and, really, life. Healers are special because they, unlike most, are very spiritually connected to the world and its inhabitants."
"Okay," Kagome nodded eagerly, leaning forward and taking in as much of his words as she could. "What do these 'core' energies even look like? How do I find them?"
"Those are great questions but also very personal ones. The energy signatures are going to look different to every healer, because no one healer has the same power or perception. For me, I see almost a tiny, flickering flame in the same spot that their heart would be."
"Okay," she murmured, fixating her gaze on Miroku and immediately looking into him for something like that, her gaze narrowing into a deep concentration.
"It can be hard to see but it's fairly consistent in that everyone has that same, small light in them. It's supposedly a continuation of their heart and soul in a form that healers can access, thereby connecting to a person or demon's physical form and pulling out the maladies or illnesses that hinder them," Miroku continued, angling his body so that Kagome could better search his form for something - anything - that may even remotely fit in line with what he was describing.
Kagome stared at him. Sapphire eyes dragging over every corner of his form, over and over and over, circling back across every damn crevice of his body. Her brows furrowed deeply as she continued to trace and retrace him, even standing and walking around him, desperately looking for that small flicker near his heart.
He watched patiently, breathing steadily and waiting, however, as she paced around him, her face scrunching more and more in frustration as she continued to circle him, Miroku slowly began to think that she still didn't see it.
'This is… this is not good…' He thought to himself, remaining quiet as Kagome went so far as to kneel next to him, getting as close as she could to his form without actually touching him. 'Even I don't need to be this close to see it and if she can't access her healing powers…' Miroku didn't mean to but he exhaled loudly, his mind whirling. 'Without a healer, we won't make it to the end of the cycle…' Worse, he realized, was that her stats would soon reflect a lack of healing ability.
"I don't see anything like what you're saying," Kagome finally admitted, leaning back on her feet and feeling her chest tighten, her eyes becoming somewhat glassy, as the biting and overwhelming sensation of shame and failure coated her.
Miroku wasn't the only one coming to the realization that if she couldn't perform her days were numbered. Kagome understood that they would either trade her or, one day, they simply just wouldn't be able to afford to come for her.
Miroku sucked in a large breath and held it for a moment, slowly trying to process and give himself a moment to think. She was still new. She still needed training. Not just with healing but with combat.
"Let's… um, let's try meditating again," he offered, giving her a weak smile in an attempt to be encouraging.
It didn't make Kagome feel any better though. She could see what it really was, denial. No amount of meditating would give her sight.
"How will that help at all?" Kagome asked defeatedly, her voice cracking in the middle. She curled her fingers into fists, digging her dull nails into the palms of her hands to distract herself from the emotional agony she felt and the impending sense of dread gripping every cell in her sightless body.
"Because, no matter how weak or strong… every person has some spiritual energy - has some ability to sense the currents of energy in another," he began, pulling on lessons he'd been part of years before, on his first team. "It's why even though I'm not a healer, I can still put up weak barriers and use spiritual energy. We all have it… Healers just, typically, have a greater sense of it. Healers have a greater ability to harness and direct someone else's spiritual energy but they can also redirect their own.
"That's how healing and creating a barrier works. You act as a conduit and help move the energies. And because we all have at least a little bit within ourselves, meditating and the like provide techniques that will help you access those parts that are already within you. I think… if we work on that, helping you find your link between body and soul, it will help you be able to see that in others as well because then, in theory, you will know what it should look like to you."
Kagome stared back blankly at him. She wasn't sure if what he was saying was true or if he was blowing smoke at her in a futile attempt to rebuild her confidence after another failure. Still it couldn't hurt to try.
What else did she have to lose?
'Other than my life…'
"Fine," she acquiesced, still unsure the exercises would be fruitful. "Let's meditate."
Miroku nodded, flashing her a wide grin and shoving down his own doubts and concerns. It had taken him months of meditation and other spiritual exercises to be able to access the light he could now find quickly. Though he was grateful for that training and the advantages it allowed him, he'd never met a healer that had had such difficulty before. Usually they could just see it. Almost as if it was right there in front of them.
His mind fell back to the first day that she'd arrived. 'She'd healed Inuyasha then… so… she has the capability… but why… why can't she use it now?'
Shippo ran ahead of them as the trio began returning to camp after their first rounds of practice, excitedly seeking out Kagome and leaving Sango and Inuyasha behind him.
"He's too eager and too… complimentary of Kagome," Inuyasha growled. "The woman is basically useless." His ears pressed to the back of his head as he spoke, a deep frown forming when his gold gaze examined her from his view through the brush. Kagome made his heart race and his thoughts feel overcrowded.
He felt panicked in her presence and worse when she wasn't in sight.
It was a problem. How was he going to focus if he was nervous about her surviving all the time? How was he supposed to do his job if she never fucking listened?!
"Are we really doing this again?" Sango groaned, punching him in the shoulder playfully attempting to deflect her irritation at his constant complaining, rolling her eyes and glaring at him as if in warning that she wasn't in the mood.
"Yeah, we are," he snapped, looking down at the spot she'd hit him before returning her glare. "I get you want her to be your new bestie or some shit but she'll fucking get you killed." Inuyasha hissed, narrowing his eyes further.
"You're being over dramatic again. She's new," Sango muttered dismissively, watching Shippo jump into Kagome's arms at their campsite through the opening of the path.
"How long are we going to let her slide because she's 'new?'" Inuyasha asked, his tone losing the bite but keeping the skepticism. He looked forward, watching as the kitsune looked up at Kagome with a reverence that had a pit forming in his stomach and a dull heat warming his blood.
Sango sighed loudly, already tired of his pessimistic attitude and impatience, "I don't know but maybe after a little longer than what… three days? Sheesh. Would it kill you to have some compassion?"
Inuyasha grunted in response before angrily crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. 'I can't fight the way I want to with her around… she's a liability.'
"Yash, we haven't had a newbie on this team in a really long time…" Sango continued, looking over at Kagome through the trees, feeling a pang in her heart. Sango didn't want to see her die and she didn't want Inuyasha to keep filling each of their heads with such doubts over and over and over. It wasn't helping any of them and it certainly wasn't helping Kagome. "You need to understand that adjustments have to be made to accommodate her for a little while as she gets brought up to speed. Every team deals with this…" She tried to reason. "Trading her won't make that different. We'd still have an adjustment period where our lives would be at greater risk."
Though she didn't really understand how long it was supposed to take, Sango had an inkling that asking for Kagome to be fully capable of defending herself after only three days was a little much.
She was only human.
Training and precision took practice. Kagome would get practice but no one human ever mastered these techniques as quickly as Inuyasha was attempting to push on her. It's partially why humans were seen as a disadvantage in the game. Demons, though they may have lacked combat skills, had capabilities that made them useful. Humans were basically nothing more than meat sacks that often moved too slow.
"Sango," Inuyasha started, stopping in the middle of the path before they reached the rest of their team or got close enough for Kagome to hear him. "She's a Healer that can't heal… We are completely dependent on Ayame at the moment. Koga was already pissed about whatever the hell happened at the river the first day and he's losing more patience every time we weaken his Healer. She can't listen, she can't fight, she can't heal-"
"What's your point?!" Sango snarled, crossing her arms over her chest as her eyes burned through him. "You want to try and vote her off again? Hmm?"
His ears pinned to the back of his head again while his fangs poked out through his lips as he snarled at her, "some one is going to die because she can't do her job… It's not personal… it's about survival."
"But as long as it's her who dies, it's fine?" Sango bit back, watching the half-demon still as her words passed over him.
Sango chewed on the inside of her cheek, her entire body radiating with anger but what he had said… there was an air of truth in it that was growing harder to ignore. She didn't want it to be but Inuyasha had some valid points. Kagome was weak. Her stats had barely ticked upward after her last match. Despite her long-shot survival in the Arena against the Thunder Brothers and the rest of their ridiculous crew, Kagome was still viewed as one of the weakest Players in the Grid. It was a reality that had stunned Miroku when he'd checked the Player profiles at the Square earlier that morning and one that gravely concerned Sango.
Everyone had said that Kagome was supposed to be strong…
Sango couldn't fight Inuyasha with logic and that was its own embarrassment. Inuyasha wasn't known as a thinker.
Sango knew they were putting a lot of pressure on Kagome but, to her, Inuyasha didn't seem to see that Kagome wasn't the only let down.
Instead of conversing further with him, Sango whipped her hair around, letting the ends pettily smack Inuyasha in the face, as she marched over to where Shippo sat smiling down at the girl Sango refused to accept would bring their team down. Though, one look at Miroku told Sango all she needed to know; Kagome had failed.
Again.
The Fighter refused to acknowledge Inuyasha as he grumbled expletives behind her, instead holding up her smile and addressing Kagome. Miroku, Shippo, and Kagome all turned to look at Sango as she approached, her heart breaking with every step while silently praying that she was misinterpreting the situation. "How did training go?"
Shippo turned toward Kagome, waiting eagerly for her answer while Sango watched all the color drain from Kagome's face.
"Told ya," Inuyasha sneered, coming up next to Sango and glowering down at Kagome. "You still don't know what you're doing, do ya?"
Kagome turned away, eyes casting down toward the dirt. She already felt like shit, did he really need to add to it?
It wasn't like she wasn't trying! She was! She just… Miroku's instructions didn't make sense to her. He had told her over and over to look within but she-
It was all so much. Kagome didn't see a small flickering flame. She felt like she was trying to put together a puzzle without all the pieces - she could assemble some of the parts on her own but the whole picture didn't make sense.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes then loudly plopped down on one of the logs, grinding his teeth and shifting his intense gaze over to Miroku. "Well?" He asked irately, seeking confirmation of Kagome's inability to do the one job she had.
"We are having some… complications with her training. You are correct in that regard," Miroku answered reluctantly.
"It's okay," Shippo murmured, placing a hand over Kagome's and looking up at her.
She swallowed hard and let her gaze drift over to him. Kagome couldn't quite understand… why… why did he have so much faith in her? She had literally accomplished nothing all morning.
It was too painful to look at him, to see the unyielding hope and support in his eyes. They were unwavering and confident that she would succeed. Kagome turned away from him, unsure that she was deserving of his belief.
"It's not that big of a deal," Sango lied, earning her a stern look from Inuyasha that she ignored. "Plus," she continued, the inflection in her tone shifting upwards while a small smile graced her lips. "We have new armor for you! We'll fit you with the armor after lunch and then you and Inuyasha can train in it."
Sango had to swallow down her own bubbling fears as she watched Kagome seemingly collapse more in on herself.
Kagome's shoulders slumped and fell inward in response to Sango's words. In her pool of self-pity she had honestly forgotten about having to train with Inuyasha again. She bit down on her lip and let her head loll to the side. She had half a mind to ask if she could just keep on meditating with Miroku.
"Maybe," Miroku began, looking over at Inuyasha for a moment then Sango, "she should skip combat training for today-"
"No, absolutely not," Inuyasha interrupted, his tone was clipped and stern, eyes a scalding amber, like a forest fire at night burning through all life around. "If she can't heal, she can't put up barriers. If she can't put up barriers, she needs to fight otherwise she will die. She trains or she dies."
Miroku exhaled loudly, running a hand through his hair and looking over to Sango. Sango nodded reluctantly in agreement with Inuyasha. Wordlessly, Miroku stood and extended his hand toward Kagome.
She looked at it in confusion.
"Come on, we need to get you suited up for training," Miroku didn't need to be able to peer into Inuyasha's thoughts to know the demon was going to put Kagome through hell. But Inuyasha wasn't wrong. She needed some skill if they were going to figure it all out before something irreversible or deadly happened.
"No," Sango hissed, swatting Miroku's hand away. "I will help Kagome into her armor, you and Inuyasha get lunch ready."
"But Sango," Miroku exclaimed, feigning innocence.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell it to the fire," she mumbled, grabbing Kagome's hand and helping her up.
Kagome quietly walked behind their sleeping quarters with Sango.
"I know this is hard," Sango whispered, looking ahead of them, "but don't give up yet. Don't let the doubt take you out of the fight before you've even really begun."
Solemnly, Kagome nodded.
Hidden from view, Sango turned to Kagome. "I'm serious, okay?"
Kagome pulled her gaze up to meet Sango's and nearly gasped. The woman's eyes were glassy and her breathing shallow as she looked back at Kagome. Above all else though, Sango looked tired. She didn't look like the strong Fighter and warrior Kagome had recognized her to be when they met but more like a woman at the edge of her sanity.
"All the armor in the world won't teach me how to heal," Kagome murmured, speaking frankly with her.
"No… but it will buy us time to teach you. I know it feels like this is all on you," Sango stated, picking up the first piece and handing it to Kagome. "But it's not. We are your team… and we're failing you too. We took Kikyo for granted… we never-we never even asked about how she used her powers we just… we expected her to work and know what to do."
"Why do you all even have faith in me to heal? I've never done that before," Kagome mumbled self-consciously, her voice weak and bottom lip quivering under the weight of the emotion and perceived failures she was attempting to push back.
"You have, actually," Sango stated. "The first day you arrived… you healed Inuyasha. We don't know how you did that but, at the very least, we know it's possible."
Nibbling on her lip, Kagome watched as Sango handed her more pieces and began to help the woman into them.
"You're not alone in this," Sango assured. "Ignore Inuyasha's words. Focus on what you need to do. I've got your back."