A/N: Apologies for my weekend absence. As some of you may know, with it being my birthday on Friday, I decided to take a break for myself. Also Saturday and Sunday was a very important game day for a baseball fan such as myself, so I was dealing with that lol. But, to make up for my absence, I bring you guys a very long chapter with nothing but beautiful SQ moments, and something new to look forward to in the next chapter. ;) I promise, you won't be disappointed. Happy reading!
"Well, thank you for bringing me. Even though that was absolutely not necessary." Belle smiles as she shuts the passenger door to Emma's bug.
"It was no trouble at all." Emma gives her a smile.
"Well, I guess I'll stop by sometime, Gina. We can talk more." Said Belle.
"Call me anytime." Regina waves back at Belle before Emma is backing out of the driveway and driving off.
Emma turns to Regina's direction in a quick glance as she hears her release a much needed sigh. "Everything okay?" She asked.
"Yeah," Regina breathes. "It's just…" She shakes her head in thought, reminiscing on the conversation she had with Belle. "It's amazing, you know. When you're in a situation like mine with Leopold, it makes you feel like you're the only one living a life that you aren't happy with. It's like you don't take your time to open your eyes to others around you."
Emma didn't even nod, because somehow she knew Regina had more to say on the subject she was familiar with herself. When her mother, Mary Margaret was being abused by her father, Emma saw the exact same situation that Regina is talking about right now. Because of the abuse, she was closed up, stuck and imprisoned in a situation where Mary Margaret felt like she was the only one who was going through that living hell.
"You're stuck in the only life you've known for so long, and the minute you do something different… Things really start changing." Regina turns to Emma with a hopeful glint in her eye. "Don't they?"
The corner to Emma's lip that faced Regina tilted the way Regina loved watching it react every time Emma agreed with something she felt. Emma silently reached for Regina's hand that was closest to her, brought her knuckles close to her lips and placed a kiss right on her favorite spot. And that's when Regina, on her own, welcomed herself into Emma's embrace as the blonde's arm draped around her, snuggling her up to her side.
"Nothing's ever easy, is it?" Said Regina, watching their fingers intertwined together before her.
"No. It isn't." Emma inhaled a calm breath that Regina could hear close to her ear as her head laid close to her chest. She could hear her intake of breath. It was a beautiful sound. Emma's voice hollow inside of her chest as she continued. "If life was as easy as breathing, the world would be pretty boring."
Regina heard a chuckle come from Emma and she smiled. Her eyes locked on a golden strand of hair as she twirled around her finger, taking it the softness of Emma's hair. "And we can't have that, can we?"
"No, we can't. It's just the way life is." Emma inhales another intake of breath, letting it out slowly with each spoken word. "When I was little and my mom was going through her stage of abuse with my father. I used to think that life was that way because God intended it to be. Because if you think about it, that's just the way life is. Billions of people in the world, day to day, living their lives- not everyone is happy. Right now, as we're driving down this road, someone else across the globe or even a few blocks away could be suffering abuse, or could be enjoying a good picnic with their family." The corner to Emma's lip tilts up. "It's like one big unsolvable puzzle, you know? That's life."
"Do you still think that now?" Regina asked, her index and thumb caressing another strand of blonde hair as she listened attentively.
"Sometimes." Emma was lost in thought for a beat until she said, "But, I'll tell you something- ever since my mom met David and she found the opportunity again to be happy. And seeing her now with him. Seeing how he loves her and takes care of her. And after meeting you, your situation… I think the world is the way it is because some human beings aren't even human at all. It's not God's plan for us to suffer, but I've come to learn that you learn from everything that happens to you, one way or another." She pauses, and her jaw sets. "When I was growing up, and I would always catch sight of my mom's arms or a part of her face with a fresh bruise, she used to always say to me: 'God never dumps more on us than we can handle.' But, to be honest, I think it's life. The cards you're dealt with. God just helps you hang on strong until something better comes along."
Regina tilts her head so that she's looking up at Emma. "You are wise beyond your years, Ms. Swan." She said, seeing a smile emerge from Emma's lips. "Of course, I always knew that, just by getting to know you. But, you never fail to surprise me."
"Let's hope I never do." Emma leans down, placing a quick chaste kiss on Regina's lips before her eyes are back on the road ahead of them.
Regina's smile grew before she settled back against Emma's chest, snuggling up more to her side as she felt the girl's arm pull her in closer. "Emma?" She called out, hearing a hum in response from Emma. "Don't take me home." She looks up to find Emma's eyes looking down on her.
Emma could understand why Regina didn't want to go back to that house. She didn't really want to drop her off there either, but it was where she lived.
"Let's go to the Orchard." Said Regina, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "We can stay there for the remainder of the weekend. I'll call Daniel and it can be just the two of us."
A gentle smile stretched out on Emma's lips. She loved looking at how Regina's eyes would light up when she talked about them being together. She imagined that's how her own eyes looked whenever she talked about Regina. It was a huge change from the sad, frightened and distant gaze Emma saw in them when her and Regina first met.
"Okay."
Daniel was opening the driver's side door to his jeep as Emma's bug pulled into the dirt road of the Orchard. He watched Regina come out of the car along with Emma and waited.
"Daniel." Regina nodded, still feeling a bit of tension set between them from their last conversation.
"Hey, Gina." Daniel gave her a little smile, his eyes looking over to Emma who was bringing the luggage down before looking back at the brunette. "So, she'll be staying here with you for the whole weekend?"
"That's right." Regina nods, keeping her eyes on him. "Thank you for understanding."
"Sure."
Emma looks over at Daniel as she waits by the car, arms crossed over her chest.
"Emma." Daniel gives the blonde a curt nod.
"Hey." Emma nods back.
Daniel's eyes land back on Regina. "Well, I guess I'll be on my way, then." He moves in to pull Regina into a hug as she nods in response, lingers there for a while before he lets her go, his hands remaining on her shoulders. "Just be careful, will you?" He tells her, voice low.
"Thank you." Regina smiles, leans in to place a kiss against Daniel's cheek.
Daniel walked past Regina after giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, his eyes falling on the luggage that was placed by Emma's feet as he stopped before the blonde. "Do you uh… Need help with those?"
"No, I can manage. Thank you." Said Emma.
Daniel nods, avoiding a bit of eye-contact with Emma until he walks past her. As he places his hand by the open door of his jeep, he turns. "Hey… Emma?" He calls out, seeing the blonde turn to face him. Regina's hand grabbing a hold of the blonde's forearm. "Just promise me one thing?" He waits. "Just don't hurt her. I think we're both aware that Regina's been through enough."
Emma looks at Regina, who smiles, and she takes the brunette's hand into her own before looking back at Daniel. "She will never have to worry about that with me." She promised. Her promise was bold within her words, and Daniel knew it.
Once he turned back to mount his jeep, and drove off, Emma turned to Regina, her shoulders relaxing a little more as she smiled. "Now do you believe that he is head over heels for you?"
Regina smiles and shakes her head. "Daniel should be the least of your worries, Emma. Although, I must admit, seeing you jealous over him since the very beginning, made it perfectly clear to me how you felt about me." With her index finger, Regina boops Emma's nose all while taking her own luggage from her hand before heading inside the house, leaving Emma standing there, watching her with a knowing grin before following right behind her tracks.
Emma took in the sight of the already familiar house. She didn't mind spending the weekend here. She loved it here. She loved it anywhere as long as Regina was with her. "Are you sure it's okay to stay here for the rest of the weekend?" She asked Regina.
"Better than staying in Leopold's home." Regina turned to Emma, her brow furrowed. "Why do you ask?"
Emma shrugs, "I just wouldn't want Chief Irons surprising you."
Regina chuckled. "Leopold would rather swallow pieces of broken glass than come here. Besides, he's away. And this place," she looks around the room. "It belonged to my father, therefore it's rightfully mine." She frowns. "The only thing in my marriage that's ever truly belonged to me- next to Audrey."
Emma moved forward and placed a kiss along Regina's temple, her arm lazily resting around her waist.
"Unless you'd rather go somewhere else?" Regina looks at Emma.
"No. I love it here. Just as much as you do. It's perfect."
Regina smiled, placing a quick kiss on Emma's lips. She remembered when Audrey told her that Emma had indeed loved it here, and that filled her heart to know it was true.
"We've driven a long way. Are you hungry?" Asked Regina.
"Yeah, I could eat. Do you want me to put the luggage in the bedroom first?" Emma pointed to the luggage by her feet.
"If you wouldn't mind." Regina hands her her luggage. "In the meantime, I'll see if there's any more of that alphabet soup you loved so much."
Emma looked at the smirking brunette over her shoulder as she walked into the direction of the bedroom, and threw her a glare. "Hey, don't pretend like that wasn't the best soup you had that day."
Regina grinned and began to search the pantry for whatever was fast to cook. She was definitely looking forward to spending the rest of the weekend with Emma here. Audrey would be nowhere in sight due to school starting up soon, Leopold was gone and if anything changed in that department, Sidney would alert her before he even arrived home. They were safe here.
"Alright," Emma breathed as she stood in the room. She looked around and walked over to a perfect spot by the window to place down the luggage. As she turns to head out, she stops, her eyes landing on the one bed by the wall.
They would be sleeping here. Alone. It would make it the second time Emma and Regina shared a bed together, and Emma couldn't help but wonder- just for a small nanosecond- what would it be like the day Regina decided she would be ready. Would it happen here? Certainly not this weekend. Emma shook her head at that very thought, sticking to her word that she wouldn't push Regina farther than she wanted to go. But when it did happen… Where would it happen? The possibilities of where were endless in her mind as she looked at that bed. And one thing she was absolutely sure of was that the day it happened, to touch Regina in such a way would be so-
"Emma?" Regina was taken aback by the way Emma whirled around, her eyes wide.
"Yeah?" Emma asked, feeling a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"What are you doing?" Regina chuckles, noticing the pink color against her cheeks. "Are you alright?"
"Sure. Why?" The blonde's heart beat like a drum inside her chest.
"You're blushing."
Shit. "Am I?" Emma places a hand against her cheek, hearing a 'Yeah,' in response from Regina and she begins to fan herself after removing herself from her jacket. "It's just a little hot in here, you know." She tosses her jacket against the bed.
Regina's eyes follow the jacket until they look back at Emma. "Well, maybe we should open the window for a little while." She walks past Emma and parts the window open, feeling a light breeze struck her face before she turns back to Emma. "I found some rolls and some chicken. I put it to defrost, you could help me make some basil chicken sandwiches."
"I'm sure that'll taste as amazing as it sounds." Emma grins as she takes Regina's hand and follows her into the kitchen. She's only praying her palms weren't sweaty.
Cooking with Regina had become one of Emma's favorite things to do together. They just became magic in the kitchen. And with music playing in the background as part of their kitchen routine, it just made it all the better. Regina never listened to much music before, but it was so easy for her to fall into this routine with Emma as soon as she came into her life. Emma just made everything enjoyable.
"Grab just a pinch." Regina grabs a pinch of chicken and places it on one of the sliced up rolls. "Like so… And then, we add cheese." She reaches for a pinch of cheese and spreads it around the chicken.
"Pretty simple." Emma grabs a pinch of cheese and spreads it on her roll and chicken. "These smell amazing."
"My father used to make them." Regina smiles, reaching for another roll to begin the process all over again.
Emma leans against the counter, and carefully studies Regina's hands as they are busy with prepping the food. "Can I ask you something?" She heard Regina hum in response. "Do you think your life would have been different, had he been alive right now?"
Regina stopped, and was lost in thought before she turned to Emma. "Yes," she nods, her voice filled with sadness. "It would have been different." She turns back to prepping another roll. "For starters, he would have never allowed my mother to marry me to a forty-three year old man at the time. And I probably would have a career at this point in a University somewhere. Maybe New York."
Forty-three. That's how old Leopold was when Regina was just an innocent, frightened sixteen year old girl.
"New York, huh? Is that where you want to go most in the world?" Emma decided not to touch the subject of Leopold's age, keeping that bit of anger to herself and channeling into a more pleasant conversation for Regina.
Regina had never been asked that question before. It caught her by surprise so much that she stopped what she was doing so that she could think about her answer. And Emma could see her answer in the way Regina smiled, before she said, "If I could go anywhere in the world… I think I'd go to Paris."
"Paris?" Emma echoed, seeing the brunette's eyes sparkle brighter than ever as they locked into hers. "That's a great place to be in."
"Have you been?" Regina asked with interest.
Emma shook her head. "Sadly, no. Never. But I'd like to go, someday. Add it to my list of places to visit when I travel the world as a famous photographer."
Regina can't help but smile. She could picture Emma, slightly older, traveling, with more dreams than Regina has had in her life ahead of her to look forward to.
"I researched Paris once. There was a University there, the Speos Photographic Institute that I was interested in," Emma crossed her arms over her chest. "I almost went there, instead of staying in Portland."
"You got in?" Regina's brows hit her hairline as she saw Emma nod in response. "What changed your mind? That would have been a great opportunity for you."
"Yeah," Emma nods. "It would have. In fact, my mom asked me that very question when I turned it down."
"And what did you say?"
"The truth. I said I didn't know. I just knew I needed to go to the University of Portland. But, now that I think back on it, I think it was where I was meant to be." Emma took a step to be closer to Regina, her knuckles softly caressed along Regina's cheek. "I was meant to stay here and be with you. That would have never happened had I left."
The thought of never meeting Emma or having a chance to live this moment, unlike all the others she's had with her, was a thought that Regina never wanted existing in her mind.
"Well, thank God for that." Regina breathed, enjoying the gentle touch against her cheek. Her brown eyes lock into Emma's as they are standing only an inch apart from one another. Regina hadn't realized it, but somewhere along Unchained Melody playing on the radio, Emma had pulled her into a slow dance.
"You know, I brought the movie." Said Emma.
"The movie?" Regina's brow furrowed.
"Ghost. I remembered because this is the exact song that plays during that pottery scene." Emma smiles. "Figured you'd like to give it a shot. Can't promise you won't cry at the end, though."
Regina almost snorted, "I won't cry."
Emma's brow lifted perfectly. "You will cry."
Regina's brow arched upward in a challenging look. "Now you want me crying? I thought you didn't like seeing me cry."
"I don't." Emma smiles. "But this is a different type of crying. And I guarantee you'll cry. My mom weeps, no matter how many times she's seen this movie."
"So, now you're saying I'll be like your mother?" Regina smirks as she hears an 'ew' protest come from Emma, and she can't hold back her laugh.
"Not funny." Emma glares playfully.
"We should eat first, then you can put on the movie while I make some popcorn." Said Regina with a grin to her.
Unchained Melody played once again, but as it came from the television this time as the famous pottery scene played before them.
The bowl of half-eaten popcorn was set aside, neglected. Regina was cuddled along Emma's side, wrapped in her comfort zone. Emma's eyes were focused on the film, but out of the corner of her eye she observed Regina, her serious features as she watched the film with attention. She would chew on her bottom lip, something Emma never saw her do before. She could see a small tear roll past her cheek, but was too afraid to ask her anything at the moment. The last thing Emma wanted was to ruin the movie for her in any way. So, she wondered in silence what was going through Regina's mind.
Why were sex scenes always awkward in front of someone new? Especially someone you were romantically interested in.
As a bit awkward as Regina felt right now, like she imagined Emma did, she couldn't look away from the film. Regina didn't feel uncomfortable watching a sex scene take place on the television. She knew that was a part of any couple who were either married or together in some way or form. And Regina has read many books that included some sex within its pages more than she could count. She just wasn't used to seeing it ever look this pure, this patient, or this loving. Regina had imagined it in her head many times before while reading any sex scene that took place in fiction, but never like this. It was so beautiful she couldn't help but allow a single tear to escape her, hoping it went unnoticed to Emma.
Then again, she wasn't as experienced as Emma had been. It was then Regina wondered if this is how Emma would make love to her. Because what was happening on the screen before her was exactly that. Making love. One of the most tender and pleasurable ways sex was meant to be enjoyed and concentrated by both. Regina wondered how it would finally feel once she was ready and willing in allowing Emma to proceed with more. Of course she desired it. Who didn't want to feel every bit of love this way after all? She shouldn't care for these particular kinds of scenes in a film or a book, but the truth was Regina did care. She cared to someday be as ready as this couple seemed to be. Regina wanted to be able to give herself to Emma willingly.
By the ending of the film, just as Emma said, Regina was a mess. But what a beautiful mess she was. Emma couldn't look away or keep herself from holding onto her when Regina seeked more of her warm comfort as Molly was saying goodbye to Sam's glowing apparition before he left to never return.
It never failed. Emma cried when she first saw this movie, her mother cried every single time, no matter how many times she's watched it. Emma could even recall David shedding a tear or two, but if you asked him, he would deny it.
"That was absolutely beautiful." Regina quickly wiped away her tears, shifting a little to give Emma's arm that had her wrapped up in her embrace a break while Emma shut off the movie.
"I knew you'd appreciate it. And we have yet to see more movies together." Emma smiled.
"God, they aren't all going to be this sad, are they?"
"No, they aren't all going to be sad." Emma let out a small laugh, her thumb softly wiping away a pebble of a tear that sat at the corner of Regina's eye.
Regina's eyes locked on Emma's lips as her laugh died down, her hand raised slowly until her thumb caressed the soft skin along her lips. "I like your smile." She confessed. "I think it's contagious."
"Contagious? No one's ever described it that way before." Emma smiled, feeling the withdrawal from Regina's touch as the brunette ceased from touching her.
"It's true. It's what I noticed first when we met. Followed by the color in your eyes." Regina tried her best not to blush but failed.
Emma's smile widened as she rested her arm along the back of the couch, her body relaxing more. "I noticed your smile, too. Followed by this scar," her hand reached out until her thumb softly caressed the trail of the scar above Regina's lip. "Will you tell me what happened?"
"Do you really want to know?" Regina reached for Emma's wrist, followed by Emma's hand to withdraw her hand from her scar as Emma nodded. Regina drew in a breath, her eyes glancing down at their fingers as they laced together. "Leopold had asked me to arrange everything for a big dinner. He wanted to celebrate a deal he had closed with New York. The night was going well, until I accidentally spilled a drink on one of his associates. He didn't hit me there, but once the night was done and he had one too many drinks, I saw his fist come at me with such force his ring cut me. I remember it hurting for days. I had to cancel an outing with Belle so she wouldn't see the bruise."
Emma carefully leaned in, her body scooting closer to Regina, her hand cupped along her jaw before placing a careful kiss along the scar, followed by another. Regina could feel her eyes close on her as she drank in the gentle caress of Emma's kisses.
"I know you don't believe in promises, but, I'm making you one anyway." Emma's eyes lock onto Regina's, her thumb softly caressing along her jawline. "Whatever pain he caused you, both physically and emotionally, I promise you, Regina, I'll make it my mission to replace it with something good."
"Your mission?" Regina couldn't help but smile at Emma's nod of confirmation. "You don't have to do that, Emma."
"But, I do. You've lived through pain because of him since you were sixteen years old, and instead of helping you all your own mother did was sit back and watch. Not even caring that her own daughter was brutally beaten and raped every single day." A tear slips past Emma's cheek that Regina quickly wipes away as she's shedding tears of her own.
"Will you do something for me?" Regina's voice broke a little.
"Anything you want."
"Would you tell me something- anything beautiful like you always do?" Said Regina.
Emma allows herself to smile a little. "Do you know why people close their eyes when they kiss?" She waited for Regina to shake her head and said, "Because something as beautiful as sharing a kiss is meant to be felt with every beating of your heart. Not seen."
Regina couldn't help but let a few tears escape her eyes as she blinked. "Is that what you feel when we kiss?"
Emma nods. "That and so much more. I could die just by kissing you, Regina."
Regina slowly leans in and is met by Emma in the middle until their lips brush with one another in a kiss that they both take slowly. Regina can feel how Emma's hand gently cups the side of her neck, holding her in place. She could die just by kissing Emma as well. Especially when Emma was an excellent kisser and anyone who dared to tell her otherwise was wrong in her book. The way Emma's lips moved along with Regina's as they kissed made Regina feel like she could melt away along with all of her troubles. This tingling sensation settled at the pit of her stomach whenever Emma would touch her, coming to skin on skin contact with her.
Regina pulled away, just for a minute to draw in a much needed breath. Her forehead pressed against Emma's as her eyes remained closed. Her hand rested against the blonde's shoulder, fingers gripping to the soft material of her shirt. "I think kissing you will become the death of me." She said softly.
Emma grinned a little, "I can't say I'll apologize for that, because it only means that you enjoy kissing me as much as I enjoy kissing you."
"More than I ever thought possible, Emma." Regina breathes, daring to open her eyes only to find Emma's green ones staring right into her soul as she does. "I can't even begin to express what you make me feel every single time you kiss me the way you do."
"I think I have a pretty good idea." Emma placed a gentle kiss on Regina's lips, and another along the scar on her upper lip. "Go on a date with me tonight." Said Emma, her voice as soft as her touch.
"A date?" An actual date with Emma. Her first date ever.
"Yeah. Let me take you out to enjoy a nice dinner, maybe take a drive afterwards."
Regina grinned so much it hurt her cheeks. "And where may I ask, will you be taking me for our date?"
Emma grinned again. "To where it all started. To where you kissed me for the first time, and made me realize that what I was beginning to feel for you was more than just a crush."
They went, and even were able to sit at the exact same table as the first time. And they ordered the exact same dishes they did that night. Regina allowed Emma to borrow one of her dress shirts, which was a silk green that fit her perfectly. Regina even dared to say that the shirt brought out the color in her eyes a little more. Regina decided on wearing some black dress pants combined with a white tucked in shirt and a suit jacket. Emma couldn't take her eyes off of her all night. It was impossible for Regina to never look so beautiful for her.
"What?" Regina smiled as she looked up from behind her fork, having caught Emma staring for the ninety-ninth time.
"Nothing." Emma shook her head, a smile tilting out of the corners of her lips. She draws in a breath, her words releasing with a soft sigh that told Regina, Emma was madly in love. "I just can't believe how lucky I am."
Regina's cheeks turn a shade of pink, and she decides to say nothing, reaching for her glass of wine to take a sip. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Ms. Swan. Remember?"
Emma smoked, because yes, she very well remembered. "It's the truth," she reaches out to take Regina's hand. "Maybe it's just hard for you to accept it because no one's ever said such things before."
That was true. No one, before Emma, had ever said anything beautiful to her at all.
"But, Regina, let me tell you." Emma leaned in, her eyes locked onto Regina's. "You are a woman, not only to be loved but to be worshiped."
Regina's heart melted inside of her chest, her cheeks felt a little flushed, which she decided on blaming the wine for. She glanced down at their joined hands and decided to pull hers away, hiding it underneath the table.
"What?" Emma frowned at the surprised action. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No." Regina shook her head, breathing out a chuckle at the ridiculous question. Emma could never say anything wrong. That's what scared her the most.
"Then, what is it?" Emma waited in a little bit of fear of what Regina would respond.
After careful consideration, Regina decided that honesty was her best policy as her eyes dared to look into Emma's fearful ones again. "It's you." She noticed a crease form in between Emma's brow as she continued to explain. "You are just so… I don't know." She shook her head, brushing back a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's like you said, no one's ever said anything remotely breathtaking like you have. It's not something I'm used to, Emma. And to be honest it scares the hell out of me."
Emma listened with all of her undivided attention, her lips pressed into a thin line.
"And the things you say…" Regina smirks a little, if anything to assure Emma that everything is fine between them. "The things you do for me. How you kiss me," her eyes lock onto Emma's and a small blush takes over her cheeks, unable to help it. "It's so inevitably inviting. It's almost a little intimidating." She glances down at Emma's abandoned hand against the table and reaches for it, feeling the blonde's grip tighten a little with her own as their hands lock in place. "And when you touch me…" Another blush creeps up on her, all the way up her neck this time. "I'm sorry, I'm not even used to talking like this with anyone."
The corner to Emma's lip tilts into a private smile. "It's okay." She waits.
"It's the way you say things, and the way you do things around me. The way you look at me. It floors me." Said Regina, her voice a bit of a tremble. "It's impossible that I have yet to find a single flaw about you. You're truly something out of a fiction novel."
Emma lets out a light chuckle. "I have my flaws, I assure you."
Regina chuckles. "As I have mine. Being married is my biggest flaw yet." She frowns.
"Which isn't a flaw at all. You said so yourself, Regina, once in your house, remember? That marriage… It's a farce. It was something that happened to you that was out of your control, and you can't be blamed for that."
The corner of Regina's lip wanted to tilt into a small smile but she held it back. "No, but having an affair with someone much younger than me is."
"That's what you're worried about?" Emma scoffed out a small laugh. Her hand squeezed the brunette's just a little in reassurance. "Regina, life has been unfair to you since a young age. Just look at it. Everything you've done up to this point, has caused you nothing but unpleasantries and pain. You've been dealt shitty cards all of your life, what's wrong with fighting back for a little happiness with someone that's willing to give it to you without thinking twice about it?"
Regina's eyes look down at their joined hands, at how softly Emma's thumb caresses its way along her knuckles. Her eyes gloss over with held back tears.
"I wasn't lying to you when I once told you that you are stronger than you think. You are." Emma's eyes speak volumes. "If you weren't you wouldn't be in this situation for twenty-five years."
"Yeah, I'm so strong, I tried to take my life once." Regina scoffs.
"We all have a weak moment, Regina. That was yours. And I thank God, everyday that I was able to be there to dive in after you." Emma pauses. "I will always be there ready to dive in."
"And what if you can't always be there?" Asked Regina, a single tear escaping her.
"I will be." Emma reached out, gently wiping away her tears. "Even if I have to get out of school, and continuously drive an hour forward and back- I'll be there."
"Why are you so determined to make this work? To save me?" Asked Regina, her voice wanting to reach a breaking point.
This time, Emma gave her a full smile. "Because love makes you do crazy things. And I happen to be stupidly, devotingly, and honest to God in love with you. Ask me anything-" She scoots in a little more, grabbing a hold of Regina's hand with both of hers as she hears Regina breathe out a chuckle, unable to help herself from smiling along. "Ask me to take you away somewhere right now- far away from her- I will. We'll move away, I'll look into another school, we'll change our names if you want to."
Regina laughs a little this time at the blonde's crazy words.
"I'll work my butt off and save for an apartment together. Anything. Just ask me."
An apartment together? Did Emma really think about a future with Regina?
"We've barely been doing this for a couple of days, and already you want to live together?" Regina said through a small laugh, which made Emma smile. Regina looked into Emma's kind and gentle eyes, and that was enough for her to see the blonde's determination. Her hand reached up to touch her pale cheek. "I love you." She whispered. "And I'm sorry it took me a while to say what you deserved to hear from the moment I first kissed you, right here on this very spot. You are such a brave, determined, yet stubborn woman, Emma."
"I have you to thank for that." Said Emma. "It's because of you that I want to be deserving of you. I want to be someone you would be proud to be with, even if you change your mind and this all ends tomorrow."
Regina shook her head, she had to be out of her mind crazy to end this thing with Emma. "As terrified as I am of what we're doing sometimes, having to sneak around with you- there isn't a moment where I've wished for it to end."
Emma's eyes water up a little. "Someday, not distant…" She drew in a breath. "Baby, I promise you, we won't have to hide anymore."
Regina leaned forward as quickly as Emma pulled her in, holding her in place by the back of her neck until their lips brushed together in a kiss that both deepened as fast as their heads spin. Regina wasn't sure what made her heart flutter all the more. Was it the way Emma said things to her? The look of promise in her eyes every single time she spoke about being together for good? The way she just referred to her not by her name, as usual, but replacing it with a word she had never been referred with?
Truth is, it was everything. It was Emma. The way she said things, the way she looked at her, the way she kissed her. Regina wanted more of it. Of that she was a hundred percent certain. And she was truthful when she had told Emma that she didn't want them to stop.
Regina sighed with contentment as she sat in the passenger seat of Emma's yellow bug, her body snuggled up to Emma's right side as she had pulled over on what had become their spot for the remainder of the night. The place that made them both feel as if they were on top of the world, and there was no one else but them, high and up above.
A few crickets could be heard somewhere off in the distance as the windows were rolled down, followed by the soft chorus of the radio, which was at a very faint volume. The night was quiet, beautifully lit by not only the lights of the city above them, but the very few stars that were spotted up in the dark night's sky.
"I certainly never imagined this." Regina's voice came out soft.
"What, being here with me?" Asked Emma, her cheek resting on top of Regina's head.
Regina smiled at that. "Exactly. All of it. It's just… To feel so much happiness that comes with an entire day of being with you. It's truly something to make my heart want to burst." She could feel Emma smiling by the muscle movement in her cheek. "Doesn't it ever scare you, to think that out of the blue, we could lose-"
"Shh." Emma lifts her head, and sees Regina tilt her head to stare up at her. "Nothing," her hand rests against Regina's jaw, while her thumb caresses along her bottom lip, ending at her scar. "Nothing will ever make me want to end this. Just like nothing will ever keep me from loving you. Not Audrey, or your husband, or even life itself." She pauses to give Regina a reassuring smile. "Am I scared?" Emma nods. "I'm terrified sometimes, but never of losing you. Because I refuse to let that happen."
Regina cupped the back of Emma's head, pulling her in until she felt their lips crash together in a kiss that Emma was quick to deepen. And just as Regina's body shifted, so did Emma's, taking every bit of advantage that the two front seats were so close together to where nothing in between would keep them from coming closer to one another.
Their heads might've been swimming in a pool of limbo right now, and Regina wasn't even sure where the thought came from, but the thought of straddling Emma swam so deep in her mind. Except she wasn't sure how that could work inside a car without having the steering wheel press against her back. Her body continuously leaned closer toward Emma, that before Regina could put the next sound she heard together with what was happening, Emma had already pushed the car seat a little farther back. Regina was aware of this because as she felt the seat slide back, she felt her body begin to lean in more. It all happened so fast and without any warning that she jerked back a little, hearing her breath huff out along with Emma's, exchanging in the very little space between them.
Regina knew, by the look in Emma's eyes, that she wanted the same thing to happen in that moment. But, would it be too soon? Would it be too much, enough to spook Regina? There was only one way to find out.
"It's okay," Emma breathed out, the back of her knuckles leaving a trail of her caress along Regina's cheekbone. Her eyes locked onto Regina's with all the sincerity in the world. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
It always amazed Regina how Emma knew what she was thinking before she did. "I'm sorry," a crease of frustration formed in between Regina's brow.
"No." Emma shook her head. "It's okay."
"No, I'm sorry. This doesn't mean I-" Regina shakes her head. "It scares me that after all that's happened to me, I do want you as much as I do. I never imagined I could feel this again. Desire for anyone. But, I do."
"We don't have to do this now-"
"I know we don't. And I know you didn't bring me out here in hopes that we would. And I love you for that. I love you for your endless patience." Regina caressed along Emma's thin bottom lip. "I just feel frustrated for you, because I feel like I'm leading you on."
Emma smirks. "Regina, you can lead me on all you want. There is such a thing known as masturbation. That's not a problem for me."
"It's not fair to you, Emma." Regina shakes her head.
"Regina, the last thing I want to do is push you into something you aren't comfortable with." A light bulb went off at that moment at the top of Emma's head. "Now, if… You're certain that you want to try something without actually getting physical. I have an idea that you might be open to try. If you're interested."
Something in Regina's eyes changed. They sparkled with curiosity as she looked into Emma's green orbs. "What is it?" She asked.
Emma grinned before placing a chaste kiss along Regina's lips. "Buckle up, and you'll see."
Regina sat back in the passenger seat, and watched as Emma adjusted her seat before buckling up. "Where are we going, Emma?"
"You'll see soon enough." And with that, Emma drove off, not giving away anything of what was running through her mind in that moment.