53
Ianto and Toshiko were playing. Sparing in the gym. Well… like I said, playing really. Their blows were being held back so it was a light tap each time their sword found flesh but it was clear that Toshiko was getting angry as Ianto again deftly tapped her shoulder in passing.
Jack was leaning against an apparatus watching and after a while he decided to save her by calling out the need to go downtown "wanna come Tiger?"
Ianto stopped moving, panting as he turned to answer and Toshiko screamed with glee as she solidly slapped his arse as hard as she could with the flat play sword. Ianto yelped, and then burst into peels of laughter as he dropped his own sword to turn and take her on, both of them wrestling on the ground with giggles and shrieks. Clearly the anger was not being directed at her, she had been some sort of therapy to help him dispel some. What was up his arse? Jack decided he must know.
As he drove along sedately with the handsome creature in the passenger seat engrossed with his tablet, Jack tried for small talk. The single grunt answers were getting him nowhere so finally he pulled into a drive-thru and sat waiting in line.
Ianto finally looked up. "Jack? Mac D's this time of the day?"
"And time of the day is the right time for a chocolate swirl with M&Ms on top" Jack replied, leaning out the window to bellow his order like the poor man in the booth around the corner might be deaf, Ianto having given up on explaining that the little microphone in the box at the order stop fed directly into a man's ear down the line. Ianto was pleased to hear his own order being given in amongst the food Jack was ordering to feed an army and then they drove along the line to pay, then get their food and as Ianto sat looking at all the bags and two drink trays that had five drinks and two desserts shoved into them, Jack drove to the park he preferred to eat at.
Ianto got out and the picnic table they always sat at was close, going to place things onto quickly, Jack already tearing into a bag to find the chicken nuggets so he could sit and hum around the sweet and sour dipping sauce each nugget got a double dip into.
Ianto placed everything in front of Jack then removed a drink, a happy meal and one of the ice creams. Clearly he had learned to separate his food or lose it. He sat and opened the happy meal, handing the toy over as he removed the six nuggets to examine and sniff, choosing one to eat first with a single dip of BBQ sauce.
Jack giggled as he held up the minion toy, one Owen did not have in his collection and then Ianto held out his hand to silently take and protect the toy from any madness about to happen. The other happy meal was Jack's and it was a different minion, gaining more glee.
Ianto rose and placed both toys in the middle console, then returned to find Jack had ripped open the fries bag and was dumping all the boxes of fries into a heap on the ripped paper. Ianto knew he could warn him about this as it was something he had done before out of doors with a shock ending but really… he would rather wait ad watch.
It did not take long for the first seagull to appear, slithering along the ground like a land shark, it's beady eye on the fries as Jack talked on oblivious to the incoming danger, swinging his hands about and showing he was ambidextrous when it came to eating. Both hands can cram food in.
Then the swooping started and Jack's yells as he tried to cover the fries pile, the seagulls growing like Mr. Smith agents in the Matrix. Ianto started to giggle softly as Jack was now eating directly from the pile, his hands busily flapping off seagulls as he looked like a pig at a trough of food.
Ianto started removing the bags of still uneaten food to the SUV and then he motioned Jack who ran, abandoning the fries to the seagulls that descended like jackals to cover the table in screams and feathers.
In the safety of the SUV Jack sat panting as Ianto calmly removed a box of fries from another bag and his eyes widened as Ianto took the first chop and ate it before offering the box to Jack. He said in a silly voice with a fair American drawl "You want fries with that?"
"You shifty fucker" Jack said, and then accepted it to sit back and eat happily.
Did you know Jack can fit an entire Big Mac in his mouth at once? Yeah. Man got skills.
Ianto placed the rubbish into an empty bag, everything condensing down as Jack drank the last of the drink and sat back to belch loudly. "Oh god…. I think I ate too much."
"No… you ate about the usual. If you really need to be precise… you ate less than since you normally get more chips in before giving in to the birds" Ianto shrugged as he removed the drink lids to stack the name empty drink containers into one another.
"True" Jack said as he let his head fall back "But you had extra fries in that bag. That was sneaky."
"That's me. Mister Sneaky" Ianto leaned over to kiss Jack, enjoying the smell and taste of the man. Like kissing a hamburger.
"So, what was pissing you off like that?" Jack said, too full to be gentle about his question.
"A ball. You know I hate everyone looking t me and I don't know how to say know, I got invited by herself and I am not feeling in the mood for a entire…. Jack?" Ianto looked at Jack who was now making a weird noise as he struggled to sit up straight, turning to gape at Ianto.
"Herself invited you to one of her secret balls? One of the ones the press don't know about? Oh my god, I remember about fifty odd years back there was this one where she …"
"DON'T YOU DARE!" Ianto roared and Jack started to laugh, holding his hands up in surrender as Ianto reminded him that any lewd storied involving HIS queen were out of bounds.
As they drove Jack glanced at him a few times, then said "I do have a lovely ball gown I've not…"
"JACK!"
Both men sniggered softly at the thought.
Cheeky prick.
Jack glowed as he knew Ianto was going to go, and he needed some eye candy on his arm to impress everyone else.
Oh yes.
Jack can do Eye Candy too.