It had been a week, and today Rick and Shane were taking Randall away from the farm and leaving him there. Part of me was relieved that I would never see him again, but the other part had more questions that I wanted to know about his group. No one really asked him anything while he was healing in the shed, and when Hershel deemed him well enough to walk, they tied him up, blasted music in his ears and dragged him out.

Today was the day that I would talk to Daryl, it'd been a week since I saw that he moved his things, and now I wanted to check to see if he was okay. Well, I tried talking to him before, but he was never there, and so today, I prayed that he was still at his camp and not out on some hunting trip so I could see if he was doing well. I was one baked good away from being the overbearing neighbour that shows up when you move in.

I knew he was there this time because the moment I stepped anywhere near his camp, I heard:

"The hell're ya doin'? I wanted to get 'way from you people"

I would ignore any snarky comments he threw that day, knowing that if I retaliated, it would only be so long before he made me leave, and then I would never know if he was okay.

"Coming to check up on you," I said. "I came in the week, but you were never here."

"Is there a reason?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, it just seems kind of lonely."

"Yeah," he scoffed. "That's the point."

"Well, I don't want you to be on your own, so I wanted to come and check on you," I said. "My mum used to say that even people who want to be alone need a friend."

Daryl looked away, his gaze unfocused. I wondered if his staring off into the distance was his way to make me stop talking to him, but after a moment of silence, he just said, "Whatever."

He moved to sit on one of the logs by his tent, scraping his knife along the bark of a stick to sharpen it. I didn't know why unless he was just doing it because he was bored. I'd seen a lot of people doing that whenever they had nothing else to do.

I sat down on the ground at the opposite end of the burnt-out fire. It was my mission to be quiet for a moment, partly hoping that he would forget I was here because if not, then he may just make me go back to camp, and I wanted to be alone as much as he did.

Since what happened in the town, I rarely had any chance to just be by myself, with people always checking up on me. Daryl had no intention of asking me how I was or whether I was okay, and I was fine with that. His ability to act like I didn't exist was the closest to being alone that I could stand.

And then I got bored and remembered that I had many questions I wanted to ask him, "Why did you move your things?"

"I wanted to get away from you people."

I pressed my lips into a thin line, "Because of what happened at the barn?"

Daryl looked at me for a moment, "It's none of ya business."

I thought that I may have crossed a line, but talking about it was one of the best ways to be okay with what happened, "I know finding Sophia meant a lot to you, and I think it was very sweet the way you were trying to look for her. You even could've gotten hurt, but you still did it. But I won't talk about it anymore if you don't want me to."

"Well, I don'," he said simply, looking back down at his knife.

I nodded. "Okay."

Again, I tried sitting in silence, watching him carve a point into the stick.

Still, I had another question, "Do you think my dad might be with Randall's people?"

Daryl sighed a knowing sigh, his arms dropping to rest on his legs with both the stick and knife still in his hands. He knew I couldn't be quiet for long, "What?"

I was quiet for a second, trying to get my thought in some kind of order before spewing it out at him, "Well, I was thinking about it, and I never really got the chance to ask anyone, but I think that maybe my dad could have been staying with them," I continued to ramble, exactly the way I wanted to avoid. "If these people are kind of close by, then he could have been following us and found them instead, and I know that they aren't good people, but I thought that maybe he would stay with them because he has nowhere to go. I know you don't know him, but he's a good man."

Daryl gave a single nod, looking back down at the stick. "I believe it."

"Well," I continued. "I wanted to ask Randall or tell Shane or somebody to ask him, but I never got the chance, and now that Shane and Rick are getting rid of him, I know that my chance is gone. So I wanted to know if you think my dad would have been with them?"

"I doubt he is," Daryl answered.

"Yeah, me too," I said, my gaze moving down to the ground. "It was just a thought. I just really miss him, and I thought that maybe if I could ask Randall, then he would know if my dad was there, and-and if he was, then we could get him back. I know it would never happen like that, but I just really want him back."

"Even if ya dad found those men, I don' think that he would've stayed with 'em. From what I heard, he wouldn't wanna be with people like that."

"I know," I muttered.

I did really miss him and wanted him back. As much as I hated to admit it, I was surrounded by a group of strangers. Having my dad here would make everything better because I would be with people I knew again.

No one was with people they knew any more, well, apart from Rick and his family, and Shane. Everyone else had lost people like me, and I knew that they would also want to do anything to get their family back.

Even Daryl had lost people, Sophia really hit him hard, but he was going through the same thing I was with my dad, only it was Merle. And then I thought back to my original question, "Do you think Merle could be with them?"

"I don' care," he said.

"But, he was your brother," I argued. "Don't you want to know what happened to him?"

Daryl stayed quiet, and I thought that maybe he was done looking for Merle. I knew how much his brother meant to him when he found out that he was left in Atlanta, but I hadn't heard Daryl talk about him for a while now.

I suppose that he was in the same situation I was, where he wanted to look for his family, but we were no longer in the area to do that anymore. Daryl had more means to go and look for Merle, though: a method of travel, weapons, and tracking skills. He was practically already leaving the group by moving his things all the way out here.

Except he wasn't.

If his plan was to leave, then why stay here for the week. Unless he was hunting, so he had enough food, but he could hunt on the road. Maybe he wanted to stay until they took Randall away, which I would only know when Rick and Shane came back without Randall. Daryl had expressed multiple times that he wasn't interested in Randall anymore, so I doubted he was waiting to leave because of that.

Maybe he really wanted to stay. Maybe he really was just trying to get away from us for a little while . . . or forever. Either way, after talking to him, it became more clear that he didn't move his things all the way out here to just leave the group.

With that being my main concern and most of my questions being answered, I contemplated leaving for a while. It would make him happy to sit there alone, and now I knew that he wasn't leaving. I didn't have to worry so much.

I should have guessed, though. Carol came out to visit him throughout the week, and I assume she actually came out here to speak to him because we both couldn't be as unlucky as I had to miss him every time.

So I got up and left him there, saying a quick goodbye as I walked down the field and back to the farm.

I looked around for Glenn for a little while. He also had been concerning me for the past few days, and I wanted to make sure that he was okay, too.

Maybe he's in the house, I thought. He could be inside with Maggie, but they hadn't spoken much in the past few days either. I don't know what was going on, and it wasn't really my place to ask, so I didn't.

As I entered the house, Maggie came out of the first bedroom, "Oh, Ace."

She glanced down like she had been hoping for someone else. It kind of hurt, but I wasn't too bothered by it.

Then she looked up at me with a different look and said in a quiet voice, "I need to ask you for a favour."

I nodded. "What is it?"

She was silent for a moment, looking back into the room over her shoulder. "Can you sit in with Beth for me, please?"

I frowned, "Why?"

Maggie looked down like she didn't actually want to tell me what was going on, "She-she's been trying to cut," she said, her voice unsteady and even quieter than before. "And-and she wants to . . . she wants to—" I nodded, telling her that I understood what she was trying to say. Beth wanted to commit suicide. Maggie continued, "Anyway, me and Lori were going to head out and find dad, but I don't want to leave her alone, and—"

It was serious; Maggie was rambling worse than me. I interrupted her, knowing that it was becoming more upsetting for her to explain the situation, "—I can sit with her if you want."

Maggie stepped forward, wrapping her arms around me. "Thank you, I won't be gone long. Hopefully, I can find dad."

Yeah, he never seems to be around when you need him, I thought. I knew Hershel was probably working, and he had to be working to keep his farm running, but he needed to be here right now, and he wasn't. Just like when he was at the bar.

I walked into the room as Maggie left. Beth was sitting cross-legged on her bed, staring at me as I sat down on the chair by the window, sitting down sideways so I could look outside. She wouldn't want to talk to me, and I knew with this one I shouldn't really push her to. I just had to sit with her like Maggie asked and stop her from trying to cut.

I sat around for almost ten minutes before she spoke. "You don't have to just sit there."

"I'm just doing what Maggie asked me to," I answered, glancing at her.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Because she asked."

Beth was quiet for a beat before saying, "And if I asked you to leave?"

"When Maggie gets back, I'll be right on that," I said.

I didn't mean for that to sound so snarky, and it was only when it came out did I hear how bad it sounded. My accent made me sound so much bitchier. I had to let it go for now, and Beth didn't say anything else, so maybe she didn't notice how mean I just sounded. Or maybe that was why she stopped talking.

I kept glancing back at her, making sure she wouldn't leave the room if my attention were focused out the window. I hated that I had to do this, that she wanted to do this, especially because I followed Hershel out to the bar just to save Beth. It was one of the only reasons I was there.

Pursing my lips, I finally looked over at her, holding my gaze, "Why do you want to die?"

"I don't wanna die by being torn apart by those things," she told me, her face hard and her voice firm, like she was trying to hold it steady as she spoke. She sounded almost angry, and I couldn't tell if she was angry at me or not.

"You don't have to be," I said, turning in my seat to face her. Maybe I could get through to her, although I wasn't confident in my abilities because I couldn't convince Hershel to come back. She was probably just as stubborn as he was. "This farm is really isolated and safe. And we can kill the walkers or not. I was alone for a while before I found the group in Atlanta, and I got really good at just avoiding them. If you throw a can, they look away."

"This place won't last," she said. "You told us about the herds; how many of them were out there."

My mind went straight back to my first night on the farm, how I had been telling Beth and Jimmy about the walkers on the motorway. The herds. I knew that I probably scared them that night, but I didn't think that she would still be thinking about that now. Apart from the walkers in the barn, there were rarely any walkers around here.

"What about your family?" I asked. "Your dad?"

"My dad had us waiting for a cure," Beth snapped in a quiet voice. "He still doesn't believe the walkers are dead."

"He does," I said.

"He just told Rick what would make him happy."

I shook my head. "No, no. I was there. He really believes they're dead now."

Beth scoffed to herself. "Sure."

I felt my chest tighten a little. Beth had the right to be angry with her dad after he left the farm to go and drink. But she was so upset with him that she thought he wouldn't care that she died. I knew that wasn't true, but Hershel had a hard time showing his daughters how he really felt, it seemed. He made some mistakes, but he was also trying to make up for them, and he helped me, which left me a little indifferent to him at the moment.

"You know, I thought the walkers were sick," I said, my voice less convincing than I thought it would be. "A lot of people did. I found notes that called them the sick. I only realised when they came to the camp and Daryl killed one of them. It's okay to think that they're sick as long as you know they're dangerous. Hershel knows how dangerous they are now."

Beth rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

I thought back over all the reasons she wouldn't want to be here anymore. When Shane opened the barn, he essentially killed their family for a second time. Especially when they realised that the walkers were dead the whole time, and then he just killed her mother and Shawn again.

I decided to try and help with losing them, using my past example, "I lost my mother too. I understand the grief. She was buried over in Britain, so I never got to see her grave more than one time. And even though she had been away from home for a long time, when we came back over here, I had to get used to the fact that everything was the same, but I was different. I would never see her again, no matter where I went. She was gone."

Beth didn't look over once, her eyes remained on the wall off to my side. I wondered whether she was even listening, which made this talk more sad and frustrating for me. I didn't get to talk about my mother a lot, and even though I did with Maggie the other day, I hoped that it would help Beth seeing that I lost my family and I was still here. Still here, alive and as happy as I could be.

"It's going to be okay," I said, my head tilting to the side. "Everything will be okay if you just give it some time."

"I don't want any more time," Beth finally looked at me, her eyes watery but her voice as stern as it had been this whole time. The country accent only added to the steadiness of her voice. "I just wanna go, okay?"

It seemed like she didn't want to talk anymore, and I knew that I wasn't going to convince her of anything. I had never been through this with anyone before, apart from Jacqui, but no one knew that Jacqui even wanted to go, so we couldn't try and talk her out of it. But I never actually had to talk someone out of dying before.

I just nodded. "Okay."

Turning back to the window, I hoped that I would see Maggie coming back with Hershel. They really needed to talk, but he wasn't here, and there was nothing I could do to find him. Out of the window was completely empty, no one walking around or anything. So I spent my time looking out over the fields.

I was shocked when I heard her speak, "Why do you want to be here? There's no one here for you."

The answer was obvious to me. "My dad may be out there."

"He's gone," Beth said.

That one hurt, but I had to tell myself that she was very upset and lashing out, so I didn't let it get to me.

"There's a chance," I said. "But he could still be around. It would be devastating if he was around and I was . . . just gone. I also got the group around, and I don't really want to ditch them."

"Why?" She asked pointedly. "They're all strangers."

She wasn't wrong, I had even thought about how I was surrounded by strangers while I was sitting with Daryl, but even if they were strangers, I still cared. So I said, "Maybe, but we've gotten to know each other for a few months now. It isn't easy losing anyone, especially some of the only people you have left."

"What about when this place gets overrun?" Beth said. "They're all going to save their family, their group. Even Glenn will come for Maggie—"

"—I hope so," I found myself smiling as I said the last part. "He really loves her."

Beth seemed to ignore my statement and just continued, "Where does that leave us? Me, Patricia, dad? You?"

I tried ignoring that she added me to that list because I often worried about being left behind after everything Shane said over the past few months. He never wanted to go back for the groups, he didn't want to look for Sophia, and I was very worried that he also wouldn't want to look for me if I got lost or hurt. It didn't make any sense that he would feel any different about me.

But I knew that if anything happened, there were people in the group that would help me: Rick, Glenn, and so many others. Part of me hoped Daryl would too. Maybe that's what Beth needed, confirmation that we really did care about her and would never leave her for the walkers or she would never get left alone.

"You're a part of the group too. You and your family," I told her. "This group looks out for each other, we don't leave anyone behind. We wouldn't leave any of you behind either, no matter what happened."

"No, you're just sayin' that," She stated. "It'll just be me, Patricia, Jimmy, and Maggie, and Daddy against a whole world of those things."

"Beth, I wouldn't leave your family alone."

She was quiet for a moment but eventually shook her head, "You can't promise that."

"I can," I said. "I went to the bar to get your dad back for you, didn't I?"

Beth ignored me, turning to look at the wall again. If she didn't want to talk anymore, that was fine with me, and I was happy to sit here in silence either way.

"Ace."

I heard someone call my name from the door quietly. I looked over to see Maggie leaning against the doorframe, completely alone. No Hershel. I assumed that Lori was still out looking for him, but they had been gone for a while, and I hadn't even really noticed.

I stood up and walked over to her. "Yeah?"

"I can watch her now," Maggie said. "You can go if you want."

"Are you sure? I can stay if you want me to," I said, my voice a whisper. Even if she was the reason we were all here, I didn't want her to feel guilty or anything as I said, "You look really tired."

Maggie shook her head, "I got it."

I was unsure but nodded my head anyway. "Okay."

And so I left Beth and Maggie alone, closing the door behind me as Maggie entered the room. They had a lot to talk about, and they wouldn't want me to stay around and bother them.

When I came back to the farmhouse, Maggie was standing outside on the porch, with Lori behind her. Andrea was standing in front of them, looking up at the house. The only issue was that Maggie looked pissed, and I wasn't sure why.

Who's with Beth?

The first person I heard talking was Andrea, "She'll live."

She stepped forward to enter the house, but Maggie stepped in front of her, blocking her path up the porch, "Stay away from her, from both of us," her voice was low as she spoke. "Don't you dare step foot in this house."

Andrea looked at her for a moment but only nodded in return. When she turned around, her eyes fell on me, and I crossed my arms, just looking back at her. She didn't say anything and just walked back to the camp.

There had to be other ways for Beth to find out that she wanted to live without cutting, but maybe she had to do it to realise for herself. I didn't really know what Andrea had to do with it, but I had an idea, but I didn't really know for sure. Maggie looked angry enough to kill, so I had it in my mind that she was in the right and yelling at Andrea for all the right reasons.

Lori turned to Maggie, "I'm not saying what she did was right," Lori whispered, "but Beth has made her choice. She wants to live, and now she knows it. And sometimes you have to cross the line."

Maggie hummed, ignoring anything Lori had told her and crossing her arms. I'm not sure anyone would be able to get that point through to her after she spent the whole day trying to keep Beth safe.

Lori nodded to herself, turning away and walking back into the house. Maggie just sat down on the porch, burying her head in her hands, which was my cue to walk over to her.

"What happened?"

Maggie glanced up, suddenly remembering that I was there, and said, "I left her with Andrea. She locked herself in the bathroom, broke her mirror and cut her wrists."

"Is she okay?" I asked.

Maggie nodded to the step next to her, so I sat down at her side. After running her hand through her hair, she straightened up and said, "It wasn't deep, but dad is stitching her up right now."

I cringed, "Sorry."

Maggie shook her head, "It's not your fault."

"I know, I just—"

I lost all train of thought when the silvery-blue car sped back through the gates, parking up in front of the house. I heard the door open behind me, knowing some of the people in the house would want to know if it went okay, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw some people walking over from the camp.

When Rick and Shane stepped out from the car, the first thing I noticed were the red, swollen bruises on each of their faces, hidden between the splotches of blood. Neither of them were cut too badly, so I wondered who's—or what's blood it was.

Rick walked to the back of the car, opening the boot, and pulling a person out from the back. Randall. I felt so much fear and anxiety as I looked at him, my gaze turning to Rick and Shane for answers. Why did they bring Randall back? What happened out there?

Apparently, everyone else wanted answers too, each of their faces filled with the same confusion I had felt. This couldn't have been good. No one wanted Randall around, and leaving him out away from the camp was the only plan we had short of killing him.

Rick turned to leave with Randall, but Shane grabbed his arm. "I'll take him."

Rick stared at Shane for a second, his gaze filled with anger and confusion, which led me to wonder what actually happened out there.

Rick shook his head, "I got it."

"I ain't gonna do anything," Shane snapped quietly, "just gonna take him to the shed."

Again, Rick just stared through Shane, biting the inside of his cheek. He held onto Randall's shoulder who squirmed in his grasp, trying to decide whether to let Shane take him to the shed. After a moment, he nodded.

Shane grabbed the back of Randall's shirt, dragging him away, around the back of the house and to the shed. The questions were then directed to Rick.

"Wait," T-Dog said, "Why is he back?"

"I thought you were leaving him out there?" Andrea agreed.

I still couldn't get over the bruises or blood, so I asked, "What happened to you guys?"

Rick ignored my question and turned to look at Maggie. "He said he went to school with you, that he knew Hershel," he said. "That means he knows this area, how to get back to his people. We couldn't just let him go."

Daryl stepped forward, "Want me to talk to him? Find out what else he knows?"

Rick was quiet for a moment, contemplating what Daryl was actually offering. "If you're up for it, but not tonight, I . . . I need the night to think. We can't just let him go now, at least not around here, not with knowing what we know now."

Daryl nodded, "Tomorrow, then."

"So, what?" Andrea asked. "We just keep him in the shed again?"

"For the night," Rick said. "I just need time to think."

I frowned. "But, what happened out there?"

"We ran into some trouble," was all that Rick said.

What trouble? It's not like Randall could have done that to him, and walkers aren't really known for hitting hard enough to make people bruise. The only way they could have gotten those injuries was hurting themselves or each other. Which meant, for some reason, Rick and Shane had been fighting.

Maybe they had a disagreement over what to do with Randall. He had been here for over a week and never mentioned that he knew Hershel or Maggie to anyone that had taken him food. Shane also made his views on the matter very clear when we brought him back to the camp, and he wasn't happy with the idea to let him go. Maybe that just gave him more incentive to actually kill Randall instead. Rick was unsure about letting him take Randall to the shed.

Shane returned that moment, keys in his hand that they left in the shed when they took Randall, "He's locked up."

Lori walked over, "So what's the plan now?"

Rick shook his head, glancing over at Shane but then to the group. "I need the night to think about it, but I'm probably going to have to kill him."

No one chose to argue.

If you don't get the joke, you don't belong here.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think :)

Here is a little PSA from my beta: WheresMyPenn

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