Summary: Harm. & Mac begin their life together, while both deal with the reality of Harm's decision to resign his commission. Spoiler alert: Mac doesn't handle it very well. (Continuation of It Started in Russia, and Everything is Going to Be Okay)

Part Twenty-Five

"You're up early."

Mac looked up at Harm and nodded. "Yeah," she said quietly. "There's coffee if you want some."

"Thanks." But he ignored the coffee and sat down across from her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, of course." She gestured to the stack of brochures on the table with the one in her hand. "I couldn't sleep. I found these brochures from the other venues we looked at and figured I'd call to see if anyone had any last-minute openings."

He winced and reached over and took the stack. He flipped through them briefly and shook his head. "Mac, you hated most of these places."

"I still do. But we're throwing a party for one hundred and fifty people in twelve days, and right now have nowhere for them to go." She reached for the brochures, but he kept them out of arms reach. "Harm, come on."

He shook his head and stood. "No." She narrowed her eyes, and he shrugged. "Glare all you want. These places won't even be open yet, and you need to get to work."

"Harm," she started, but he shook his head.

"Sturgis called three times last night to go over last-minute details. This case is important, and you need to focus on that."

"But-" She paused and took and breath. "Twelve days. There was already so much to do."

"I know." He smiled and pushed his chair back. "Now, aren't you glad mom and grams came early to help?" He reached for a mug and filled it with coffee. "I called them this morning and told them what happened, and they're going to come by and help."

Her eyes widened, and she swallowed hard. She wasn't used to this kind of familial support and wasn't sure she would ever be. It made her feel uneasy, unworthy. She remembered Bud and Harriet's wedding and how present Mrs. Sims had been, even if her presence was driving her daughter crazy. That's how it was supposed to be. Not like this. Not with Harm's mother and grandmother pitching in and helping with all the details.

She nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah. I'm really glad." The doorbell rang, and she looked up at him. "I'm guessing that's them?"

He nodded and sat the mug down. "Probably. Be back in a minute."

She watched him disappear from the kitchen and closed her eyes when he heard him greet his family. She had never felt the glaring absence of her own family as much as she did right now, and a part of her wished that they had just eloped.

Trish and Sarah hurried into the kitchen with Harm trailing behind them. Mac stood and brushed imaginary wrinkles out of her uniform and let Trish pull her close. Trish placed her hands on Mac's cheeks and smiled. "I'm so sorry this happened, darling. But we will find a new venue, even if I have to call every contractor in the city and build one myself. Don't you worry."

"Can I get either of you anything," Harm asked. "Coffee? Tea?"

"Coffee, please," Trish said and shrugged off her coat. "Now, who should I call first?"

She left not long after the women had arrived at the house. She appreciated them; she really did. But she needed peace and quiet, and she couldn't get that at the house. So, she made her excuses, grabbed the few brochures Harm hadn't taken, and said her goodbyes.

The office was practically empty when she arrived, and she was thankful for that. But it wasn't just the silence she appreciated; it was the orderliness and the consistency of this place that soothed her. Every day was slightly different based on court and clients, but overall, the job was unchanging and predictable, and she loved that. Right now, she needed that.

She went to the breakroom, brewed another pot of coffee, took a mug to her desk once it was ready, and switched on her computer. The thing took its time coming up, and she made a mental note to contact IT about that and pulled out her planner while she waited. The next few weeks – hell, the rest of the year, seemed overwhelming. The wedding in less than two weeks was obviously the most significant event on the calendar, and then the honeymoon in Maui. After that, it would be no time until they were in Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving, and then the Burnetts would be back in Virginia to spend Christmas with them.

And then what? What would the calendar for next year look like? They had talked about trying for a baby as soon as they were married. Would next year's pages be full of doctors' appointments, Lamaze classes, and hospital tours? Would Trish and Sarah go overboard helping her with a child, the same way they were helping with the wedding? Would they think that her crappy childhood and absent mother made her incompetent?

Did those things make her incompetent? For a while now, she had felt like she was living a lie. Were others starting to see it too? She closed her eyes, tried to halt the sudden dizziness, bent over at the waist, and put her head between her knees. She definitely didn't have time for a panic attack right now.

She stayed in her office for as long as possible, trying to calm herself down. She didn't feel calm when it was time to head to the courtroom, but she finished her coffee and went upstairs. Sturgis and their client were already there, and he frowned as Mac joined him and their client in the courtroom. She slid into the first chair, and he leaned over their client. "Everything okay?"

She nodded and forced a smile. "Of course. It's just been a long morning."

Their house was full of activity when Mac got home that day. Harm greeted her with a kiss, and she frowned as she took in his jeans and bare feet. "Did you not go to work today?"

He shook his head. "I went in for maybe an hour. How was your day?"

"Long," she said. "Court was…" She trailed off, not knowing how to explain to him how off she had felt and how her performance had suffered as a result.

He didn't say anything for a moment and then took her hand. "Come with me." She didn't say anything as she followed him upstairs. She went into their bedroom, and he shut the door behind them, "Sturgis called," he said. She flinched, and he sat down on the bed. "Talk to me, Mac."

She stared at him for a moment and shook her head. "I can't."

"Yes, you can," he retorted. "No matter what, we've always been able to talk about anything."

Mac gingerly sat next to him and looked at her hands. "I had a panic attack before court." His eyebrows raised, and she closed her eyes. Months of therapy had taught her that her issues were nothing to be ashamed of, but she still couldn't help but feel ashamed of how weak and damaged she felt.

"Because of the wedding?"

"Because of everything!" She shot up and began to pace. Then she stopped, and the anguish on her face nearly broke his heart. "What if this is a sign, Harm?"

"A sign of what?" He said. He knew where she was going with this – where her fear, self-doubt, and insecurity were taking her, but he also needed her to say it.

"Maybe it's a sign we shouldn't get married," she said quietly.

He swallowed; those words were like a slap. "Do you want to marry me," he asked.

"Of course I do!"

He shrugged. "Okay. And I want to marry you. So why does anything else matter?"

"Because it does! I mean, the roof collapsed two weeks before our wedding! That has to mean something."

Harm shrugged again. "It only means something if you want it to mean something. To me, it means that the roof was old, and they were hoping for a little more time before replacing it."

She closed her eyes and nodded. Logically she knew he was right. "I know," she said softly. She looked down at herself and swallowed. "I should change and get downstairs. I'm being rude to your family."

"They're fine," he said dismissively. "If you want to stay up here for a while, you should."

"I'm okay," she said. "I'll change clothes and be down in a few minutes."

"Where is everyone?"

Trish looked up from the cutting board and smiled. "Harm and Sarah went for a walk."

Mac felt uneasiness bloom. "Oh?"

She nodded. "I asked them to," she said. Trish didn't tiptoe around topics. Even when they first met, she had been almost uncomfortably honest. And Mac had always appreciated that about her, but right now, it made her uneasy. "I asked if I could have a minute alone with you. Harm wanted to tell me no – he tried to, but this is important to me, and I refused to take no for an answer." She sat the knife down and leaned forward. "Harm told us today that you're having a hard time with all of this wedding stuff and that he's glad we're here."

"I'm glad you're here, too," she said.

"Good, but that's neither here nor there. Right now, I have two things to tell you, and then I'm going to fill you in on the phone calls I made today, and then when Harm and Sarah get back, the four of us will have a nice dinner. Okay?" Mac nodded, and Trish took a breath. "I didn't give birth to you, but we are your family, and there is nothing that we wouldn't do for you. So, you've got to stop envisioning yourself as this lone wolf because you have so many people who love you and would do anything for you. And myself, Sarah, and my husband are at the top of that list. And I know it isn't intentional, and I know family is a fairly unfamiliar concept for you, but you do have a family, and it's hurtful that you think you don't."

"I'm sorry," Mac started, but Trish just held up a hand.

"I don't need an apology. I just need you to relax and let us help. You let me help with your mother's remains. Now let me help with this."

"And the second thing," Mac asked.

Trish raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You put a lot of emphasis on not having a family. But…" She trailed off and swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. "You're giving us a family. My son is a bigger part of my life now than he's been since he was twelve years old, and that's because of you. You helped him find out what happened to his father. You stood by his side every step of the way. You helped give him closure. Two years ago, I wouldn't be here. He would have never opened up to Frank and me about any of this or welcomed us into his life the way he has, and that's all because of you." A tear slid down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly.

"Thank you," Mac said softly. She didn't believe that she had brought Harm back to his mother, but she knew Trish was sincere and did believe it.

"Thank you," Trish copied, placing extra emphasis on the 'you.' She moved around the island and pulled the younger woman against her for a hug. She held her for a long moment and then pulled back. "Now, let me tell you what I found for the wedding."

"So, what did mom want to talk to you about?"

Mac pulled back the bedding and climbed into their bed. "Family. And how even though I envision myself as a lone wolf, I have a family."

Harm climbed into bed next to her and leaned in to kiss her. "I've been telling you that for ages." She blushed, and he smiled. "Do you feel better?"

"A little. But now…" She trailed off and flopped back against the pillows. "I'm glad Trish was able to find a venue for us, and I can't imagine how she did it. But the National Portrait Gallery?"

He shrugged. "It's a beautiful space. Although, I'm sure Frank gets most of the credit. Chrysler is a pretty big donor."

"I know, but it's so…" She trailed off and envisioned the beautiful courtyard in the grand building. "I'm just overwhelmed. It's so grand."

He rolled onto his side and rested a hand on her hip. "Want to back out? We still have the chapel for the ceremony. We can come and have a party in the backyard if you'd like."

She wrinkled her nose, and he laughed. "I wanted something a little grander than our backyard." She turned to him and worked her lip with her teeth. "Maybe Maddie and Ben had the right idea after all."

Harm rolled his eyes and toyed with the hem of her shirt. "Hey, I tried to get you to marry me in Vegas, but you said no."

"Well yeah," she said. "I hate Vegas."

His eyes widened, and he sat up. "But if we had been somewhere else, you would have said yes?"

She shook her head. "No, probably not. But I – I don't know. It's all getting to be a bit much. Especially when the whole point is just for us to be married."

"Well," he started, "in two weeks, we'll be married."

"Two weeks," she repeated.

He leaned in and kissed her softly. "Less than two weeks, actually. Twelve days."

"It's almost midnight, so it's basically eleven days."

"Good point," he said and slid his hands under her t-shirt. "Eleven days till you're my wife."

Those words took her breath away, and she didn't think she'd ever tire of them. His wife. He would be her husband. "That's all I've ever wanted." She lifted so he could pull off her t-shirt and toss it aside. Then she was on her back again, and he was on top of her, his weight pushing her into the mattress. His kiss was intense, and she closed her eyes and enjoyed how his lips and tongue felt as they moved against hers.

He broke the kiss, but before she could protest, his lips brushed against her collarbone, teasing her nipples and then moving down her stomach until he reached the waistband of her shorts. She lifted her hips so he could pull down the rest of her clothes. He tossed her shorts and panties aside and then settled between her legs.

She ached for him – for his tongue or his fingers. But he seemed content to toy with her. He placed light, teasing kisses on her thighs, grazed his fingers over her, and lightly pressed against her clit. She tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and he shook his head. "Open your eyes, Mac." His warm breath moved over her, and she shuddered before managing to look at him.

"Why do you like it when my eyes are open?"

He trailed his index finger over her bikini line and grinned as her lips parted. "I like knowing you're watching when I make you come."

"So, make me come, then."

"Yes, ma'am." He grinned and lowered his lips to her before stopping and lifting his head to look at her. "What do you want?"

He slid a finger into her warm depths and licked his lips when she gasped. "I don't care," she managed.

"I think you do," he said. "What do you want, Mac? Tell me." He pulled his finger from her and watched with pleasure as her eyes darkened.

"Lick me," she managed. And then let out a loud moan as he lowered his head to her and covered her with his mouth.

End Part Twenty-Five