Chapter 12: On Thin Ice

A week had gone by, quietly, calmly. Followed by another. Edward had arranged for the bikes to be tucked in a storage space and had purchased a little nondescript sedan. He got cranky as the week went on and Esme watched him with worried eyes. Bella understood enough to understand the change in diet was taking a toll on his body and on his moods.

Carlisle spent a lot of dedicated hours at the hospital, but when he was home, he was kind. In all her life, she had never known someone so predisposed to kindness, and she wondered how anyone could ever mistake Carlisle for a human. No human was that kind.

Bella had worried about the resentments from Jasper and Rosalie, after the vote. As the first week ended, she began to see she didn't need to worry. Jasper was, if little else, a man of his word. He mostly stayed away from her and when he was around, he studied her from afar. Rosalie avoided Bella so entirely, it was hard to remember she lived there.

It was weird to be committed to staying in one location after so long on the run. She wasn't actually sure what she was supposed to be doing. Most of Carlisle's children were pretending to be human. They were enrolled in Fork's High School. Carlisle had offered to try and get Bella enrolled, but the idea of pretending to be just like everybody else had horrified her. What would she even tell people about who she was or where she'd been?

She wasn't sure what life was supposed to look like now, but she was pretty sure it didn't involve homework and prom. For the first time, in a long time, she was guaranteed a bed to fall asleep in. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel like she needed an exit strategy from every room she entered. A week passed by her in a lull that could best be described as absolute boredom.

She got back from her morning jog to find Edward gone. A note was taped to his bathroom mirror.

"GONE HUNTING."

It was the only thing that distracted her from the boredom. How much time Edward spent away. He didn't need this much time to hunt before… And when he came back now, he'd be irritable instead of soothed. She considered that it'd been easier for him before. She wondered if his struggle would mean they'd have to leave, after all the stress of deciding to stay.

She knew she'd go, if he gave the word. She suspected he'd never give the word. Carlisle insisted the successful transition from one diet to the other would take time, but Bella had no comprehension of how much time. She wondered if there would come a point where she should suggest they leave? Would he rather run than struggle?

She reached for the keys of the little Volvo he'd bought. A drive would be a nice distraction from loneliness and boredom. She left a note under his.

"GONE FOR A DRIVE."

She climbed into the driver's seat. She took a deep breath in and out. Edward had asked Jasper to forge a fake license for Bella, so she didn't have to drive without one. But that kind of thing took a few weeks to arrange. They'd asked her to please stay out of the driver's seat until then, but then, they should not have tucked her other mode of transport in storage. She knew the speed limit and she knew Edward would not have purchased anything that wasn't strictly street legal…

She set off down the driveway, the thrill of being behind the wheel of a car that was not stolen made her laugh. Staying in one location had its perks. She hit the road and picked up a little speed, trying to familiarize herself with the way the four tires handled the perpetually rain slicked road. She turned right twice, not caring about the destination so much as how the car moved around the turns. She slowed down, felt the tires make the threat of hydroplane, and then the car obeyed for the upcoming left.

The Cullens lived outside of town on the edge of a game preserve. Bella knew she was slightly off the course that Esme had set to get into town, but she was sure she was headed in the right direction, if only via backroad. As she got more secure behind the wheel, she risked a peek out at the terrain. The trees were like moss covered monoliths, screaming the story of a world where nature was the only thing worth worshiping.

As she closed in on civilization, the houses were small, rustic little things designed to keep the chill out and warmth in. They were nothing like the ridiculously lavish house the Cullens had built for themselves with its massive glass panels; it was probably a bitch to keep heated by comparison. But then who, until Bella's arrival, had actually required the necessity of warmth?

In town, there was a motel, more humane than the one Bella and Edward had chosen, on the outskirts. This one had a stuffed grizzly on the porch, its face frozen in an eternal roar. The business district in Forks, if it was really big enough to be called a district, was filled with squat square buildings, the majority of which sported handmade signs. There were few neon lights here, one outside of the gas station and the other a McDonald's.

People turned to look at the strange car and Bella realized that she was easily identifiable as an outsider. No one knew her car, no one knew her face. It made her nervous, it made her feel exposed. She turned the car left, hoping to make her way back out to the wilderness that threatened to reclaim the town at its first opportunity.

She didn't get very far.

A bang came from the front right tire and the car shuddered around her. It started to pull toward the curb and she clung to the wheel to stop the car from angling sharply to the side of the road. She slowed the car to a stop, parking the Volvo carefully next to the curb, where it wanted to be.

She rested her forehead on the steering wheel. Her first joyride in the new car and she'd already got a flat. Just perfect.

She got out and walked toward the point of the blow out. Glass and chunks of metal were in the road. A No Parking sign was bent over. Someone had done a piss poor job of cleaning up a crash from the night before. She checked the trunk of the Volvo, of course no spare, that would be too easy. She began the walk back to the gas station.

If she thought she felt exposed before, it was nothing compared to the attention she was drawing now. It felt as though a million eyes were on her, of course it was all in her head...The town didn't have a million eyes.

She walked into the little shop while a man, who looked like a lumberjack, paid for gas and picked out scratch tickets for his wife. A pair of teenage boys with dark skin and dark hair, were selecting drinks from the cooler. They were laughing and Bella realized, unlike her, they belonged in school. The one doing the talking was short and wide, built like a linebacker, with a head of soft curls. The other was taller with long hair hanging loose like ebony curtains. The tall one caught her looking and threw her a wink. She was quick to flick her gaze away.

"Can I help you, Miss?"

"I got a flat tire… just around the corner."

"You want a tow?"

"No. Well, actually… I'm just around the corner, so I guess I really just need a tire."

"What size?"

"Um…"

"Car or truck, hun?"

"Car."

"You got credit card or cash?"

"Um…"

"Honey, call your parents. Call Triple A. I'm not running a charity."

Bella stood there awkwardly.

"Best I can do is offer a tow… You aware that that street is a no-parking zone?"

Bella felt her temper flair. It wasn't like she'd had a lot of options on where to park once the tire blew out.

"I wouldn't take the tow, if I were you," the tall teenager spoke up.

"Old Gus will hold your car for ransom if you do," the shorter one added.

"Mind your own business, Mr. Black. Does your father know you aren't in school?"

Mr. Black? That was the name of the angry man in the grocery store. The town really was too small.

"My name's Jacob," the taller one offered his hand.

Bella reached out and shook it, if only to spite the old mechanic at the counter.

"This is Quil Ateara-"

"-the Fifth." He finished a little cockily, making Jacob roll his eyes. He offered his hand and when Bella took it to shake, he captured it for a kiss.

"There are five people with that name? Really?" She asked.

He flushed and Jacob laughed a deep laugh that resonated from down in his stomach and then Quil joined in as if laughter were a contagion. Bella, despite herself, found herself liking the two teenagers.

"You must be Bella." Jacob assumed and Bella flinched.

"Of the Cullen household," Quil added in a tone that was twice as pretentious as his title.

"Um… yes…"

Jacob studied her face, finding the discomfort there.

"I'm sorry… I think you met my dad. You left a lasting impression."

"Oh? He seemed… nice."

He grinned, picking up on the lie. "Really? He's my dad and I think he's a superstitious goat!"

"Oh…"

"Dude, we're weirding her out."

Jacob nodded.

"Well, I just wanted to offer you a better welcome than Gus will." Jacob's tone was more apologetic than his face. "It just so happens, I have a spare tire in my car… And the tools to install it."

"What do you want for it?"

"Nothing. It's yours."

"I couldn't just take a tire."

"You wouldn't be taking, we'd be giving."

"But if you wanted to repay us…" Quil feigned thought. "We would enjoy the pleasure of your company."

"Dude, now who's weirding her out?"

Bella laughed. "So you want to trade a tire for…?

"Time."

Bella thought about it in jest at first because the idea of losing business to teenage boys appeared to piss off the mechanic. Then she considered it more seriously, as she realized she'd never spent time with anyone just because she could. Realistically, what else did she have to do with her day?

"Okay."

"Really?" Quil looked stunned.

"Hey, you two idiots still have to pay!"

Jacob slid some cash across the counter to cover the drinks and snacks.

"Where's your car?" He asked.

Bella watched the two boys make short work of her flat tire.

"So everyone in town is talking about me?"

"In town? Try the whole Olympic Peninsula." Quil answered.

The thought made Bella cringe. It wasn't a great answer, even though it was probably true.

Jacob wiped his hands clean on his pants and stood up.

"People here are just a little bored. You are news."

"If people here are that bored, aren't they going to tell your parents that you aren't in school?"

Quil nodded his head sadly. "Yes. And I'll be grounded for a month when they do."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to go?"

"Well, why aren't you in school?" Jacob asked.

Bella started to say she didn't live here and realized that that wasn't true. Based on her conversations with Edward, this would be their home as long as they could manage it. How could she explain to these boys that the school had nothing to teach her the world hadn't already done? How could she enroll in a school legally, when legally she needed people to believe she was dead?

But the boys, innocently enough, were asking her to address a problem. Why was a seventeen year old girl not regularly in attendance at a school?

"I'm home schooling," she lied.

"Oh, crap!" Quil announced.

A police siren flipped on, for a single second, blotting out any inquiry as to what was wrong. The cruiser stopped beside the two cars parked in the no parking zone.

Bella's first instinct was to run and she took a single quick step away from the car, away from the two teenage boys. She froze, realizing that in a town that was talking all about her, running would be the wrong answer.

The officer stepped out of the car and Bella struggled to maintain composure as she recognized the town's Police Chief. He said nothing as he walked around his vehicle to get a better look at theirs. His eyes appraised the cars, the broken glass on the ground, the bent street sign. He looked at Quil who appeared to be wishing just as hard as Bella to be invisible, he looked at Jacob who was grinning the grin of the unashamedly guilty, and finally to Bella who forced herself to stare back.

"Boys."

"Hey, Charlie." Jacob greeted, brightly.

"Chief Swan." Quil nodded respectfully.

He looked back at Bella. "It's Bella, right? I'm sorry, I didn't catch a last name?"

She avoided the question. "I didn't give one."

He nodded as if a very important question had been answered.

"Jacob, I just got a call from Gus, who says you're skipping school to steal his customers?"

"Aw c'mon, Charlie, his customers wouldn't be so easy to steal if he wasn't stealing from them to begin with."

"That's one problem," he continued as if Jacob had not answered, "The other would be that you're skipping school at all. You, the future of Quilleute Nation, and the future of America, wasting the privilege of an education to spend the day…" His eyes appraised the setting again… "Eating Doritos, what has to be a three day old hotdog, and some cheap energy drinks?"

"And I know that the sign being bent over, made things a little confusing for you, but are you three aware this is a no parking zone?"

"C'mon, Charlie, she had a flat. We were just helping her out."

"Chief Swan, we didn't think-"

"That's something school could help you with."

Quil looked down at his feet, bravado gone.

"I did have a flat." Bella spoke, regrettably drawing attention back to herself. "They were just trying to help."

Charlie studied her face, glanced at the car, and then nodded his head.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," Bella answered, surprised by the question.

He sighed like she'd lied and told him she was forty.

"Quil Ateara, Jacob Black, get back in your car, drive back to La Push, walk into school, and go get an education before I arrest you both for truancy. I will call your parents to let them know where you are and where you're supposed to be going."

"Do you have to-"

"Yes."

Jacob grabbed Quil's elbow and started to drag his morose friend to the car. Quil climbed in the driver's seat readily enough and Jacob hustled to the passenger side door.

"It was nice meeting you, Bella," he said, hesitating on his goodbye. Anything else he may have wanted to say was nullified by the look Charlie gave him. He climbed in and clicked his seatbelt into place.

Bella felt nauseous as the two boys bailed and left her alone on a street corner with the cop.

"Old Gus, gave you a run for your money, did he?"

"To be fair, he was upset because I didn't have any."

"Why didn't you call Carlisle or Esme?"

Bella had no reply. It would have been a smart thing to do. Smarter than putting herself on display in the gas station, smarter than taking the help of a couple of high school students. She supposed she hadn't placed a call because she wasn't used to having anyone to call… But she couldn't explain that, could she?

"Jacob and Quil offered to help change my tire, so…"

"Where'd you get the car?"

Bella felt defensive. "What?"

"This is a small town, Bella. People like to gossip. You and a friend, nobody seems to know, rode in on a pair of motorcycles… I guess I'm just wondering where a seventeen year old, with no family in the immediate area, gets a car on short notice?"

"It's not stolen!" She snapped.

"I didn't say it was."

"I borrowed it from a friend."

"So you have both a Class M and Class D license then?"

"Yes," Bella lied. The truth was, she had neither, and she wasn't sure what she'd do if his next move was to ask for it.

"So where were you off to before the tire blew?"

"I was just out for a drive. I wanted to get familiar with the town. Get out of the house for a bit."

Charlie's face and shoulder softened a bit. "I remember those days. Being a kid with a new license out for a drive… It's a bit like freedom, isn't it?"

Bella nodded, suspicious of the change in conversation, but wanting to please the cop.

"Be careful," Charlie warned.

Bella took a nervous step back. His eyes tracked the movement. She forced her feet to freeze.

"The roads can get icey pretty quick here."

"I bet."

"You should try to stay off them after dark… Your car is repaired then?"

"All set. They did nice work."

"I can't send you back to school, but please stay out of trouble." He stepped away, nodding his head in dismissal.

"I will...Next time I'll try to break down in a parking lot," she joked.

He hesitated as he opened the door, scrutinizing her.

"If there's a next time, and you can't get in touch with Dr. Cullen, call me."

"Sure thing," she agreed. It's nine-one-one, right?

He didn't look like he believed her, but his radio crackled to life and he got in his car to answer the call. She watched him answer the call, drive off and out of sight, and only then did she let her knees give out.

Edward sat on a pile of deer carcasses, cradling his head in his hands. He didn't remember feeding from animals being this hard. His body felt full, but the thirst in his throat flamed unquenched. The thought of feeding more, when he'd already glutted himself, made him ill.

He tried to stomp the discomfort into submission, knowing once he was back inside that house, with six minds grating at his nerves, each one reserving a spot to think on ignoring eternal thirst eternally, he would need more. Then add in Bella with her scent, her confused face as he became short tempered with her…

"Edward, it'll get easier. You're just out of practice."

Esme approached slowly, her thoughts radiating concern for his welfare, radiating love for him and her new daughter, and there in the back of her mind where she didnt want Edward to hear it, lingered doubt.

"It's got nothing to do with practice."

"You're all thinking about it all the time. It's there in your heads." He peeled his hands off his face and looked at her. "Your thirst. It amplifies when Bella is near, and she doesn't need amplification!"

"She smells a thousand times better to me than any other human and now, multiply that by the six vampires who only think they know how good she smells…" He reached a hand down and stroked his grotesque throne. "These do nothing for drive, Esme, nothing for the need. To compare it to before is absurd. I didn't have her before, and before, we were only three."

Would it be easier if she were more like us? Esme wondered.

Edward didn't make the decision to move, but he was standing an arms length away from his mother in a nanosecond. She hissed defensively and took a step back. He balked at the sound, retreating a step, dipping his head submissively. She relaxed and he straightened.

"Never." He spat the word.

"It's just, she couldn't hurt you and you couldn't hurt her… Edward, don't look at me like that, just help me understand. Why wouldn't that be better?"

"Because she deserves more. Her own parents destroyed her childhood. Our kind forced her to the shadows. If there's a chance, even the slightest, that someday she can step from the shadows to the light, I won't act to prevent it. She deserves more than being… this."

Esme's mind became a hurricane of worry. She didn't understand, he saw. What had happened to Bella, what had happened to him. She didn't understand what was happening and she desperately wanted to fix it all.

"What if she chose it?"

"She might choose it, but not because you presented it as an option. You are not to put it in her head."

The girl's not stupid, she knows we aren't born.

"Esme, she deserves to live. I need her to live."

I need Bella to live, Edward thought.

Despite the world's best efforts to break her down, she rose up from the pain like a phoenix. She thought herself a monster, he knew, but she survived. She survived and she grew. She was kind and ferocious in equal doses, cunning like a predator, trusting like prey. She was kind in a way that made it fundamentally simple for Edward to understand simply this: like so many survivors before her, she should not have been put in the position to need ferocity.

I don't understand, what is she to him? This thought broke through the haze in Esme's head. He'd heard it before, in the minds of the others, and like before he offered no explanation. He had none.

He'd never loved someone so completely as he loved Bella. It was pure cowardice on his end, that he'd never asked how she felt. It didn't matter if she loved him back. He would be whatever she needed, as long as she needed it.