I don't own VA!

Thirteen

Chapter 8

RPOV

Lissa and I were definitely not okay. I've always had a short fuse, but now, even the tiniest of sparks send me practically off the handle. Lissa had been getting more and more paranoid lately, feeling like people are watching her and waiting to…do something to her. Crazy Karp wasn't helping in the slightest. I shuddered, thinking of what happened in the woods last week with the raven. I know it was dead, then Liss touched it and it wasn't anymore. Ms. Karp was there and she flipped, telling me I was shadow-kissed and needed to protect Lissa from…something. My mind was constantly swirling, except for when I was with Dimitri or downing drinks at the royal parties we were at all the time. It's been two months since the accident. Somehow, it feels like years ago and just yesterday at the same time.

"Roza?" Dimitri interrupted my thoughts quietly and I jumped about ten feet, clutching my chest. "Sorry." His apology was just as quiet and concern flashed on his face. My heartrate slowed down as I took a deep breath. It was sloppy, even for a novice, to not be aware of their surroundings and I hadn't noticed him fall into step beside me.

"No, I'm sorry," I shook my head, shooting him an apologetic smile. "I was just thinking. I should've been paying more attention."

"Where are you heading?" he asked, changing the subject. It was Saturday so we didn't have classes. Lissa had gotten Kirova to wave our curfew, along with some royals and a couple fellow novices, for a movie night. Dimitri was one of them, but that was still hours away. I was on a mission to find some liquor, to numb the bond and my own anger. I looked away, not wanting to see the concern on his face. We've spent many nights on the roof of our building lately, me nursing a bottle of whatever I could get my hands on and him urging me to be careful. He drank with me, but not nearly as much and he could handle it way better than me.

"Nagy's room," I admitted, practically mumbling. I spared a glance and, sure enough, his brows were furrowed with concern. He grabbed my arm and pulled me gently into the tree line along the pathway. The quad wasn't crowded, but there were definitely enough people around that we'd be overheard if we weren't careful.

"Rose, I know you think they'll turn you into a lab rat if you tell anyone about the bond, but I'm really worried about you," his face plainly showed he meant it. "What about Alberta? Don't you trust her?" His reasoning was valid, but I was still terrified they'd lock me in a rubber room, only taking me out to poke at my brain with cattle prods. I shook my head.

"I do trust Alberta," I confirmed. "But she'd never be able to keep it from happening if the royals wanted to experiment on me." I shuddered at the thought. Dimitri nodded once, very slightly, jaw set in thought.

"Can you please at least skip the alcohol tonight?" he whispered, leaning closer to me. "I hate seeing you like this." The anguish was clear in his face and something stirred deep in my stomach. I swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling like crying.

"Fine," I gritted out between my clenched teeth. "Promise you'll sit by me?" I felt vulnerable, pleading with him to be near me but his eyes held no judgement, just warmth.

"I wouldn't want to sit next to anyone else," he said so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. I gave him a quick hug, then took off back to my dorm to take a nap before we met back up in the Moroi commons tonight.

~.~.~.~.~.~

I slept for two hours, leaving me only thirty minutes to get ready for our little gathering. Some of Andre's friends were coming, having taken Lissa under their wing after her family's death. One of them, Greg Dashkov, had been flirting with me since before the accident. I started returning his attention after, flashing him man-eating smiles and touching his arm randomly. Camille, Abby, Jesse, Ralf, Aaron, and Lissa's cousin Natalie rounded out the Moroi invite list. Mason, Eddie, Dimitri and I were it for the dhampirs. Aaron and Lissa had begun dating a couple months before the accident and Lissa had decided to sleep with him a couple weeks ago. She was underwhelmed by him all around and was trying to find a nice way to dump him. I sighed heavily, not really feeling up to going now that I'd promised Dimitri I wouldn't drink. I looked in the mirror, wincing at the dark circles under my eyes. I did the best I could to cover them up with concealer, tossing on a couple coats of mascara. I threw on a pair of yoga pants that show off my curves and a plain red V-neck t-shirt. I left my hair hanging loose in my natural waves. A knock sounded on my door and I shoved my dorm key into the hidden pocket of my pants. I opened the door to my boys.

"Hey, bitches," I flashed them my best smile and sauntered out of the room.

"Looking good, Rooosie," Mason drawled, letting out a low whistle. Dimitri shot him a glare, but I didn't know why. Eddie just shook his head and rolled his eyes. I linked one arm through Dimitri's and one through Mason's, practically skipping down the hall. Eddie was on Mason's other side. We quickly crossed the quad, not wanting to linger in the cold Montana winter. It was early February which meant it was still freezing and snowy. We burst into the common room Lissa had reserved for our group to find everyone else had already arrived and they were bickering over what movie to watch.

"Rose!" Lissa exclaimed, her tipsiness clear in her stumbling. I, of course, already knew she was buzzed thanks to the bond. A surge of jealousy shot through me. She composed her motions enough to fling her arms around me. "Now we can break the tie!"

"We're torn between Saw and The Notebook," Camille told me, grimacing when she said Saw. Mason and Eddie's eyes both lit up but Dimitri's expression stayed neutral. I scoffed.

"Neither," I answered, simply. I marched over to the TV set and placed a DVD Lissa and I have watched countless times into the player. I felt a jolt of happiness shoot through Lissa and smiled to myself. She deserved to be happy and I would make sure she was. The opening sequence to Labyrinth flashed across the screen, eliciting a couple groans from the older Moroi boys. I shot them a glare.

"This is Lissa's favorite movie," I said, primly. "And we never would have gotten this okayed without her. So deal. We can watch your dumb bloodbath after." My fellow novices and I made our way to the snack table, filling our paper bowls with popcorn, pretzels and candy. I spared a longing look towards the bottle of vodka someone managed to acquire. Dimitri noticed, of course, and gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. I smiled softly at him, then settled in between him and Lissa on the couch. It was a tight squeeze, since Aaron was on Liss' other side but we made it work. Everyone else either sprawled on the floor or in the arm chairs scattered around the room. We watched two movies when Abby decided music would be more fun. All the Moroi were more-than a little tipsy and Mase and Eddie had their fair share of liquor as well. Dimitri joined me in not drinking tonight and I was grateful.

"So, Comrade," I teased as we danced to a stupid pop song. "Does this make you miss your dumb '80s music?" He laughed, and spun me, making me join in his laughter.

"My music isn't dumb, Roza," he pulled me back to him. "You just don't know how to appreciate the classics." Lissa's buzz was flitting through to me, making me tipsy by proxy. I found myself staring at his lips, mouth going dry. Why had I never noticed how plump and absolutely kissable his lips were?

"Maybe you could teach me," I murmured, leaning closer, locking my eyes on his. His already dark brown eyes grew darker as he stared down at me. We both seemed to realize how close we were pressed together at the same time, though neither of us pulled away. The corner of his lip quirked up into a sexy smirk and I started to close the small distance between us. Then a slender body was colliding with mine, knocking me out of his grasp. I gasped, the spell broken and Dimitri hastily excused himself to grab another drink as Lissa squealed in my ear.

"I love this song!" she exclaimed, right in my face. I winced but then smiled at her excitement. I was glad she was happy for a change. "Dance with me, Rose!" I laughed and complied, swaying with her to a song by some teenage artist. We danced and laughed the night away, all stumbling back to our dorms when the attending dorm matron decided our music was getting too loud. I laughed and chatted animatedly with the boys on our way back to the novice dorms. Mase and Eddie headed off to the room they shared and Dimitri walked me back to mine. I leaned against the doorframe and looked up at him from under my lashes, suddenly remembering that I'd almost kissed my best friend. Something unfamiliar swirled in his dark eyes.

"I was next to you most the night and I know you didn't drink," he started, sounding thoughtful. "And I know it's not my place but I appreciate that you didn't because I really am worried about you…"

"Can you, like, not lecture me for once?" I snapped, suddenly more angry than whatever I was feeling before he started talking. "You asked me not to drink. I didn't. Not that it's your fucking business anyway." My voice was growing louder but I didn't care. He looked hurt.

"I'm sorry, Roza," he said, thickly, not meeting my eyes at first, but when he did, the hurt in them glued me in place. "I just hate seeing you so upset all the time. I…" he trailed off, and this time, I didn't start yelling at him.

"You what?" I asked, softly, all of my anger suddenly dissipating. He studied me for a heavy minute, then shook his head, wry smile on his face.

"It doesn't matter," he said, more to himself then me, then cursed under his breath in Russian. "Goodnight, Rose." With that, he turned on his heel and stormed off down the hall. I watched him disappear around the corner and felt tears well in my eyes. I quickly went into my room before letting them fall. I flung myself down on my bed, screaming into my pillow.

Review please :)