Aleksander hangs his Sunshine Paws t-shirt on his closet. It looks out of place next to his other clothes, gray, and drab, devoid of life.
On Monday morning he barely glances at it while he chooses his suit to go back into the office. There's just no point in hurting himself.
The office welcomes him back with open arms, which basically means there's a million unread emails and several meetings where his input is needed. Aleksander plays his part easily. He reintegrates without problem, barely talking about what he did during his six weeks of vacation, trying not to think about Alina, about the shelter.
But he can't deny Alina's laughter, the way she looked at him, how she made him feel linger on the back of his mind.
It doesn't matter how many emails he answers, Alina and Taura remain on the forefront of his thoughts.
one week later
The charade lasts until Friday, when, after he leaves the office, he drives towards the office instead of going to the poker night his friends arranged to celebrate his return.
He arrives just in time to see a blonde man about to close the door. Aleksander assumes the man in question is his replacement and tries to pretend it doesn't hurt a little.
"Good night sir! I'm so sorry but we're closing already. If you're interested in adopting you can check our social media…" Aleksander tunes him out the second Alina appears in his line of view.
She looks tired, but still incredibly beautiful. Her beauty doesn't even go away as she spots him and narrows her eyes at him.
"Alexei, it's okay," she says to the blonde man when she's close enough for them to hear her. "I know him. You can go if you want."
The man, Alexei, blinks and nods slowly. "Are you sure, boss? We haven't even started with the cats…" Alina shakes her head and smiles at him.
"No worries, go. It's Friday, enjoy your night!" Alina encourages him, almost like she encourages the kittens. It seems to do the work, because in the blink of an eye Alexei goes back inside to grab his things, saying goodbye before rushing to get the bus.
Both him and Alina watch him go in silence, before facing each other again.
The words die in his throat as he looks at her, really looks at her for the first time in seven days. Is it ridiculous to say that he missed her? Because he did. All he did during the week was miss her. Like the moon misses the sun each day.
She opens the door for him and lets him inside, all while he thinks about what he wants to say to her. The words fly through his brain but yet none seem to be enough. How can he explain himself? How can he let her know the truth without alienating him?
In the end, she puts him out of his misery.
"It's good to see you again, Sasha," she says, voice syrupy sweet. "Or should I address you as Aleksander Morozov?" She asks, tone sharp, almost poisonous.
It is no surprise that Alina has her thorns. It is a surprise that it is directed at him.
He opens his mouth, unsure of how to respond, probably to make a fool out of himself but she doesn't let him answer. She grants him mercy, even when she shouldn't.
"Yes, I know who you are, Aleksander. There's no need to deny it or lie."
He's good at reading people, the best even, but for the life of him he cannot read Alina right now. Her voice shows anger but her eyes reveal nothing. It's impossible for him to know if she's sad, if she feels betrayed, which he understands because he's not irrational, at the end of the day he did deceive her, even if he meant no harm to her.
"I'm sorry," Aleksander says, honest and simple.
Honesty should've been at the forefront of his actions. He considers himself a man of dignity and grace and he acted as everything but. Even if he meant no harm, even if his experiences with her were filled with happiness and fulfillment he wasn't honest with her. It doesn't matter how carefree and alive he felt during their weeks together, the fact that he forgot to disclose an important part of himself throws everything out the window.
"I know you must be," she answers.
Alina remains quiet after saying that and she takes a minute to look at her. Takes in her crossed arms and defensive state and realizes how betrayed she must feel. She opened the doors of her favorite place in the world to someone who deceived her during all the time they spent together.
"I just don't understand why. I tried to wrap my head around it and I really don't understand." Her facade cracks as she speaks. She drops her arms and shakes her head, looking sad and betrayed. He won't say devastated but she does look like that. "Can you explain what this was for you? A funny experiment? A way to prove to your people you're capable of getting down and dirty? Was this your way of making fun of me? Because that is what I think, Aleksander. Everything I learned from you is now tainted because I don't know who you are and what you were doing here."
Aleksander licks his lips, trying to find a way to answer, to explain himself and beg for mercy.
For some reason, instead of redeeming himself, he just makes it all worse.
"How did you find out?"
Alina's jaw doesn't hit the floor because it would be impossible, but it almost happens.
"Are you serious? That's what matters to you?" She asks, raising her voice at him. He winces in response, because her anger is undeniable. Alina laughs, sarcasm dripping from her mouth, shaking her head almost in disbelief and all he can do is watch. He did this to her. This is his fault. "How the fuck do you think I found out Aleksander? You made two sizable donations to the shelter and you thought I wouldn't realize? That I wouldn't look into it?"
"You didn't even do a background check for me when I came," he argues. It's important to him, her safety, the safety of the shelter. They need to do better, even if the blonde man from before seems harmless, they need to do better.
She laughs again before speaking. "In the history of this shelter we have never had donations over three figures. We live through charity Aleksander, because my dad devoted his life to keep this place running. We have a Gofundme, we have kind neighbors and we can barely manage. And then… Two donations, one bigger than the other. The only thing out of the ordinary was your presence here and while one was a surprise two became suspicious." She looks down at the floor, taking a second to herself and Aleksander can see she's fighting back the tears. Tears he caused. When she looks back at him all he can focus on is her eyes. "I had my friend Genya trace it, do a background check. She's very good at these things, almost a hacker… Maybe hire her, she could be an asset."
Aleksander blinks in surprise, almost shocked his own line of business revealed his lies to Alina.
"Can you imagine how I felt when I saw the pictures of your company? What went through my head when I realized the guy I flirted with for weeks is a CEO? Let me tell you, I felt betrayed, humiliated. I let you into my favorite place in the world, the place my dad built and I proudly work at… For what? What were you doing here? Was this some kind of joke?"
"What? No Alina, of course not," he replies, trying to defend himself.
"Then what the fuck was that Aleksander. None of the articles mentioned you stopped being a CEO and you clearly dress the part so why were you here for weeks getting dirty and dealing with cats?"
He can't help it, he chuckles a bit.
"Alina, you wouldn't believe me, even if I tried."
"Well you need to try, because you owe me an explanation."
She's right. She deserves an explanation. Well, really Alina deserves the world. He shouldn't have lied or hid his identity from her and now she deserves to know the whole story, not even in hopes of redeeming himself, but simply because it's the least he can do for her.
"Okay, I'll explain everything," he says before grabbing his phone from his pocket and tapping to get some food delivered. "But we're having dinner."
It's the most ludicrous thing to say, a complete bet, but he does it nonetheless.
"Are you insane? I'm not having dinner with you!" She sputters, completely in disbelief of what she's hearing.
"I know you, Alina. You haven't eaten today because there's much to do and that twink I saw isn't going to force you to eat," he says, trying not to show his jealousy, but he fails spectacularly.
"That twink is my friend Alexei, not that is any of your business," she barks at him and Aleksander doesn't do anything to hide the smile on his face. She rolls her eyes before speaking. "Order food from the Shu restaurant on St. Elizabeth street and you'll be helping me with the night routine for the cats. I hope your suit can survive their hairs." The corner of his mouth quirks up, but he doesn't respond, busy with ordering a hefty meal for the both of them. "I thought you'd prefer lunch," she comments, making him look up from his phone.
It's true, he prefers lunches instead of dinners, but the current status of their relationship wouldn't make him think he could ask her out on a date. It surprises him that she's pointing that out.
"It's lunch time in Ketterdam," he answers before placing the order.
It makes her smile, a true, honest smile.
"Fine, but while it arrives you'll help me with the cats," Alina says before disappearing inside her office.
It takes thirty four-minutes for the food to arrive. Aleksander knows because he suffers through every single one of them.
While he has a great time bonding with the cats—Darkling seems to have missed him, unlike his owner— he can't deny he aches to be closer to Alina, to go back to the way things were.
"At least you missed me, no?" He says, asking his favorite kitten, keeping her close to his chest. She purrs and snuggles close to him, which makes him melt. "Because I did, sweet girl, I missed you very much."
He doesn't say it out loud, but one of his plans today is to take her home with him.
Hopefully he will be able to take Alina home as well.
"Well, the food is here, so talk," Alina says once he has organized the food in her cramped office. She wastes no time, his Alinochka.
"Impatient as always," he comments in a playful manner. Alina doesn't answer, instead she raises an eyebrow, showing how unamused she is by his comment. He nods, ready to start, not wanting to anger her more than she already is. "I founded my company fifteen years ago, Alina. I was very young and idealistic and wanted to create something that belonged to me. I wanted roots because my childhood was so hectic… It made sense, to have something that was mine."
He tells her about the early days of Grisha Enterprises, of the blood, sweat and tears, of all his hopes poured into a one thing and praying it would pay off. He tries his best to illustrate how much it meant for him to have something, because at the end of the day Grisha Enterprises was more than just his company, it was just an excuse to have a community, to finally fill the hole in his chest that existed from the moment he took his first breath.
Alina asked for the truth and he's determined to give it to her, but the truth is ugly and it hurts.
"My company was more than just a company, it was an attempt to find happiness, to find my people, to experience fulfillment," he says, looking at her. "And don't get me wrong Alina. It did, but not in the way I wanted."
"And what do you want, Aleksander?" She asks in a soft voice.
"Happiness," he says, matter of factly. "The company gave me many things, but never happiness. At least not in the way I longed for."
The company gave him money, power, and fame. It gave him stability and freedom. Doors were opened for him, endless opportunities fell to his lap and a horizon of endless possibilities was in front of him. But it hardly mattered when Aleksander felt so detached from everything.
"I founded my company because all my life I wanted to feel safe," he explains looking at his hands. Aleksander has never shied away from hard work and his hands prove it. He can do the work and he has done the work, rolled up his sleeves and worked as hard as everyone else. But he longed for connection, to go home with someone who loves him, with whom he could talk about their days and enjoy each other's company. He longed to go to bed in the arms of someone, instead of feeling all alone in his cold sheets. "It's not different from you, Alina. I never felt safe or protected growing up and my company provides that. Because I don't want people to ever feel like I felt."
Alina, who has remained mostly quiet, seems to anger at his words.
"Then why lie? If all you wanted was that then why make me feel unsafe? Because that's how I felt when I realized you had been lying to my face for weeks Aleksander." Alina looks like she's about to cry, all the unshed tears shining in her eyes, but she doesn't let herself cry. "I don't care who you are, Aleksander. The doors of the shelter would've been open for you no matter what."
He nods, because he knows. Alina is not one to judge, she would've treated him all the same. The cats sure as hell wouldn't have cared, but they seem not to care since Darkling jumps to his lap and makes himself comfortable there. Alina mutters a traitor but Aleksander pays her no mind, instead he focuses on petting the cat.
"I was forced to take my vacation, you know? The HR department told me I had accumulated too many and it was imperative I took some time off. And Alina I'm a workaholic, I was going insane. Sure, I have always felt there's this void inside of me and work didn't feel it but it forced me to focus on something else. It took my mind off things… Being on vacation was my worst nightmare. There was a reason I didn't take them and worked all year round—"
Alina snorts, interrupting him. "That's ridiculous, Aleksander! You'll work yourself to an early grave."
"I know Alina, but it's not like I particularly cared about that," he tells her, trying not to look too into that. "My first week was a nightmare. I was going insane because I was unable to work and in turn I was annoying everyone. That's when Mal put the flier at Luda's office and she called on my behalf. Everyone agreed it would be best if I was occupied but with things that were not work related."
"Look, Aleksander, this is a nice story. It really is. I don't want you to think I'm being sarcastic because that's not my angle at all. I appreciate you sharing this with me, but at the end of the day none of this is answering my question. Why did you lie?"
He nods, because she's right and he knows it.
His eyes travel around the room. It's dark outside, he can hear the crickets chirping and the city sounds far away from them. From day one it has always been them. He thinks she might understand him, when he explains but he also thinks he might scare her, because he's too intense and the depth of his feelings is too much, even for himself.
She doesn't pressure him to talk, lets him stay quiet as the food goes cold in front of them. He appreciates this, a small mercy he shouldn't be granted.
"I wasn't planning on it. I wasn't planning on any of this if I'm honest. Luda called on my behalf and told me to show up on Monday and from the get go it became obvious she didn't disclose my identity and that you didn't know who I was. And Alina, I value honesty, I do, I know it doesn't seem like that and I get that. But I value freedom as well and you not knowing who I was…" He chuckles, because there's no way to describe how he felt, how much it changed him to be by her side and not have to worry about anything. "Alina, it was the best feeling in my life. I know I hid an important part of my life, but I was my true self with you."
Aleksander can't help it, he smiles when he speaks, because remembering those weeks with Alina immediately makes him feel as happy as he has ever been.
"Alina I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my job. I really am, I don't want to downplay it because it wasn't the right thing to do and I can admit to that but…" He stops, one of his hands traveling through his hair, messing it a little. "I have been more honest and open with you than with others. I told you about my childhood, about my cold and abusive mother, about considering emancipation but deciding against it because I was terrified of losing my sister. I told you about supporting us both through college and working so many jobs I could barely stand. I have been honest about my upbringing about all the things I lacked and all that I longed for. I would like it if you could see that, because I have dated people, I have people in my bed that don't have a clue about what you know, about what I chose to share with you."
Alina seems moved by his words, but he knows her far too well. Her face might be softening and her stance is less defensive but he can see how she's not ready to let this go. Her eyes, those warm eyes he fell for, still remain impassive.
Aleksander is not stupid, he understands her position. Alina had a really hard life as well and trust is a fickle thing, especially for someone like her. He made a mistake he might not be able to repair, but still he has to try.
"I have this hole in my chest, all my life I had it. I have no clue as to why or what to do in order to feel complete. I have lived all my life like that and the second I stepped into this place I felt free, I forgot about everything that weighed on me. I was actually happy. A big part of why I felt like that is you Alina. You didn't care who I was and in part that allowed me to be my true self around you."
"I know, Aleksander. I appreciate what you shared with me but, when my friend told me what she found out I still gave you the opportunity to come clean. I waited for you, I wanted you to do this on your terms. That last Friday, when I gave you the painting I hoped you would tell me everything you're telling me. I wanted you to be honest and…" A silent tear falls down her cheek and she doesn't do anything to wipe it. It breaks his heart that he did this to her. "It doesn't matter. You didn't say anything and I said goodbye to you already, Aleksander. So, why are you here? Why did you come back?"
"I came back for you, and for Taura," he responds easily. The words come out of his mouth without restraint. Alina won't forgive him and there's absolutely no point in lying to her anymore. It doesn't matter if he embarrasses himself, after everything that has happened, she deserves the honest truth.
She raises her eyebrows in surprise. "Taura?"
Aleksander can't help it, he finds himself smiling. "This isn't a surprise for you, Alina. You knew I named her."
"Like a bull?" Alina asks and Aleksander nods.
"She's feisty and strong, like…"
"Like a bull?" Alina asks again.
"No," he laughs. It echoes around the room and if he's not kidding, the corner of Alina's mouth quirks up. "No, like a certain person I know," he explains fighting the urge to flirt with her but losing the battle anyways.
Alina rolls her eyes but he can see she finds him amusing.
"I dreamt about her. On the first night, after I went home I had a dream about her and her name was Taura. I decided it was a good name." Alina nods and he takes a leap. "I understand if you say no, but I would like to adopt her."
"I'll think about it," Alina answers and Aleksander thinks that's more than he deserves, so he nods in understanding.
"I appreciate that, thank you," he says. "We should eat, this is probably cold already."
Alina doesn't fight him on this, she grabs her chopsticks and starts to eat. He does the same.
It's nothing like all those days when they would eat all their meals together, chatting in between bites. They would talk like their lives depended on it, trading live stories or anything that went through their minds. Now they eat in silence, with Alina ignoring him, not even addressing him to pass something. If she wants something she does it herself.
The last supper, he can't help but think. This is probably the last time he will see her and he should try to make the best of it.
A small laugh escapes his lips, catching Alina's attention.
"What are you laughing about?" She asks, one eyebrow raised and judgment written all over her face.
He licks his lips, debating for a second to share what's on his mind or refusing to tell her. He decides it won't hurt if he's honest, even if she doesn't care in the end.
"I was thinking that this is likely the last time I'll ever see you." They don't run in the same circles, they lead different lives. He doesn't even have her personal number, only the work related one. When he says goodbye to her it will be the end. He doesn't see this playing any other way. "I should probably try my best and make this count, but I don't think I can. I don't think you'd want that."
Alina remains quiet and Aleksander doesn't know how to read her. He thought she was an open book, but after everything she's been through, he can't blame her for putting up walls after feeling betrayed.
Still, he takes a leap of faith.
"I'm attracted to you. I don't want you to think I was deceiving you or lying about that. My feelings are real, Alina. I wanted to kiss you on that first week. I flirted with you because I wanted to. And I came back here to get Taura yes, but also because I thought about asking you out. I think… I think you should know that."
She sighs, and he doesn't know if she does it because she's tired of his blabbering or because she's tired in general.
"I wanted to kiss you too, that day." Alina looks at him when she speaks, not shying away from his face. "I didn't because I was technically your boss and I didn't want to cross any lines, especially when I needed your assistance here. I didn't want to make things uncomfortable with us. Funny, uh? That I thought of that…" She shakes her head and sighs again.
He can see the bags under her eyes, the messy hair, the tension on her shoulders. If he's working himself to an early grave, then she's not far behind. She needs someone to help her, to have her back.
"Alina…" He tries, but she doesn't let him speak.
"I settled for the flirting, just because I couldn't help myself, you know? I enjoyed flirting with you too." He can't help it, when he hears her, his face lights up, his mouth turns into a big, dopey smile. It makes her roll her eyes again. "Saints! It can't be news that I enjoyed flirting with you."
He laughs. It comes from deep inside his belly and it echoes around the room because no, no one has ever called him dramatic. But he does have a flare for it, just kept under lock and key, away from prying eyes. It isn't a surprise Alina accuses him of being dramatic, it isn't a surprise that he shows this part of himself to her.
"Can't say it's a surprise but it's nice to hear it, Alina. No, actually it's great to hear that you wanted to kiss me and that I didn't make that up."
"Was that the reason you decided to donate a ridiculous amount of money to the shelter? Because we flirted and almost kissed?"
He frowns, because he can understand how she got to that conclusion but it's so wrong he has to clarify.
"No, Alina. No." He shakes his head and tries to grab her hand, a comforting gesture they were used to. Has to remind himself that he can't simply do that now, so he stops midway but doesn't try to pretend he didn't want to hold her hand. "I didn't donate because of a kiss or because of our flirting. I wanted to help, to make you feel protected and safe. I can provide the funds so you can keep doing this. I donated money because I saw how hard you work for this place and all the good you have inside of you. There's a light inside you and I…"
She scoffs and stands up. Aleksander follows her as she grabs the empty containers and throws them in the garbage. "You are so dramatic, has anyone told you that? There's light inside me," she mocks him before shaking her head. "Thank you for your money Aleksander. You said what you had to say and now I want you gone."
Aleksander opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, unsure of what to say. Half of him wants to fight to stay with her for a bit longer, the other half wants to respect her wishes.
That's the side that wins.
As he stands up, Darkling leaps from his lap and goes to settle by Alina's side. He takes a look at them before nodding.
"Good night Alina, please take care of yourself."
She doesn't walk him to the door.
It's fine, he knows the way out.
Aleksander allows himself to mope, but only for a couple of days. Alina rejecting him is not something surprising, a part of him was expecting that would happen, if not for his actions then because of something else.
After he's done moping, he decides he's got nothing to lose by doing some changes in his life. He learned a lot during his time at the shelter and even if that's not an option anymore, there are plenty of causes he and the company could be supporting.
If his coworkers think he's having a mid life crisis they keep it to themselves, instead, they welcome the changes with open arms. Many decide to support animal causes, but others decide to advocate for things like the environment or social justice.
Aleksander thinks it improves morale, it improves the mood of the company in general and it makes the case for all of the employees and him to mingle and get to know each other.
For so long he felt detached to his reality and the world seemed to be out of his grasp. He didn't even try to make meaningful connections but now that he's actively trying, he realizes it was on him to also make an effort.
It goes beyond his company as well. Because he also strives to change things in his personal life.
Bonding with Ivan and Fedyor, going out for drinks and having deep conversations that go beyond work related things or shallow topics… It makes him remember they are his friends for a reason. He picked these people to be his family.
It's the same with Ulla and Luda. Reconnecting with his sister and best friend causes them to come clean about their relationship, it allows them all to be honest about things they have been keeping secret for years.
Alina might not be a part of his life anymore, but he's thankful for all the things she brought to it.
two weeks later
Aleksander is busy writing an email with the minutes of the meeting he had with his team when a new mail appears on his inbox.
It comes from Sunshine Paws.
The idea of receiving an email from the shelter seems ludicrous to him, but curiosity takes over and before he realizes what he's doing he has already clicked to open it.
And there, in all its glory, he finds a text where it states his request to adopt a kitten has been formally approved and therefore he can go any day of the week to pick her up and take her to her forever home.
Aleksander frowns, unsure of what to think. On one hand he's happy, excited even, at the prospect of adopting Taura. He had grown fond of the kitten over the time at the shelter and the idea of having her in his life and taking care of her was something that made him ecstatic. On the other hand, he doesn't know how to read the email. He doesn't know if Alina herself sent it and it's an olive branch of sorts.
The idea of patching things up with Alina is something he hadn't even entertained. He had accepted his actions were hurtful and there was no coming back from that.
But as he grabs his jacket and tells Ivan he won't be coming back to the office, he realizes he's holding out hope.
And sometimes that's all it takes.
This time, when Aleksander arrives at the shelter he's greeted by Alexei, who informs him that Alina is waiting for him in her office.
Aleksander knocks once before she allows him in, and the second he opens the door and looks at her he realizes maybe he should've thought this through. Because the second he locks eyes with her he knows it's over for him.
It doesn't matter how much he tries or how much time passes, Alina is still branded into his heart. He might try to fool himself and try to get over her, but the truth remains he is nothing if not pining for her.
"Aleksander, it's good to see you. Please sit down," she says, her delicate hand pointing towards the chair he usually uses in her office.
He finds it hilarious, for all she runs a cat shelter, she could be a dog trainer. He obeys her command without a question, almost expecting a good boy for his simple behavior.
"I brought lunch," he says, feeling like an idiot as he puts the take out bag on her desk. She looks at it before looking at him, the corner of her mouth up, an amused smile there. "I figured you might need it."
"Thank you," she says. "I appreciate it."
He nods, looking around her office. He's looking for context, he's trying to figure out what she wants from him because if it was Taura then Alexei would've been able to handle that. There must be more to it, but he doesn't dare to ask; he simply looks around until his eyes fall on her again.
She's still beautiful, warm, and kind. He is a fool for thinking he could ever get over her.
"I'm thankful but that's not the reason I asked you here," she says and Aleksander can't help himself, he interrupts her almost immediately.
"I thought I would never see you again," he says, face warm and eyes earnest.
Alina raises her eyebrows in surprise before giggling like a schoolgirl.
"Saints Sasha, you really are dramatic. I can't believe no one has said that to you," she comments and Aleksander smiles so big it hurts.
Because she called him Sasha and so maybe, maybe, he was right to have hope.
"No one but you," he answers and she nods.
"I guess people aren't used to being honest to their bosse's face," she muses, a playful smirk still on her face. "But I guess you're right. When you left that night I wasn't expecting to see you again."
He nods, dramatic or not it is pretty clear that neither of them expected another encounter to happen and while he's elated to be there, he also wants to know.
"What am I doing here, Alina?" He asks.
She bites her lip and looks away, leaving Aleksander to wonder if she needs a second to get her thoughts together. However she looks back at him and takes a deep breath, no need for anything else.
"I told you my dad trained to become a monk in Shu-Han and that after the death of his parents, he decided there was another path for him and came to Ravka." He nods, he remembers when she talked about her father, with a mix of love and admiration he couldn't help but think it was endearing. "So, he never became a monk but all the things he learned while at the temple stayed with him and he made sure to pass them to us. Dad has always been big on forgiveness and after we parted the other night I was forced to reevaluate our whole relationship."
She licks her lips and Aleksander is doing everything in his power to keep his face neutral, not showing anything. His heart, however, beat so hard he feared it would leave his chest.
"Dad had a lot to do with it, because he asked me if knowing you was something I regretted." Aleksander held his breath without even realizing it, because although he wants to hold onto hope it would be fair if she regretted it. "He also asked if the good outweighed the bad…" She takes a deep breath and Aleksander knows this is it, this is the moment that makes it or breaks it. "And I don't regret meeting you, Aleksander. I never did. I was angry and hurt but…"
"It's fair, Alina. I really want to apologize for my behavior and…" Aleksander interrupts her, because he's an idiot, but also because he is ready to get down on his knees and repent. Alina doesn't seem interested in any of that, because she simply smiles and puts a hand on top of his, silencing him immediately.
"Sasha, it's okay." He looks at their hands and then at her, keeping quiet so she can express herself. "Look, it hurt, finding out the way I did. I won't deny that. I also won't deny how that clouded my judgment and when we saw each other I wasn't on my best behavior." He opens his mouth to let her know it's fine when she shakes her head. "Sasha, it's okay. I guess I needed some insight. Because I don't regret it. I never did. When you said meeting me was important and changed your life and made you feel happy I could relate to that. It made me extremely happy to connect with you and get to know you."
Aleksander is pretty sure he could have a Tom Cruise moment right this second and jump of joy on top of her desk.
Maybe Alina has a point. Maybe he is too dramatic.
"I realized my dad is right and forgiveness can be earned. When you apologized you explained everything and more, which provided a lot of information I couldn't even imagine. And I'm thankful for that, because at the end of the day yes, I was mad about what you hid for me, but I understand why you did it. I understand there's no malice behind your actions, only loneliness. When I replayed your words in my head it made me feel awful, because I could understand you perfectly."
Aleksander, unable to keep himself in line any more, flips his hand so he's grabbing hers, palm against palm. He laces their fingers and smiles at the sight.
"I really am sorry, Alina. My intention was never to hurt you," he says, thumb caressing her knuckles.
"I know," she answers, eyes locked with his. "But it's the only time you lie to me, Morozov, okay? One and only warning." Aleksander's eyes fly to his hairline. What does that mean? Is that what he thinks it means? Alina laughs at his reaction. "You said you were attracted to me and wanted to ask me out! Please, you do not have the right to act this surprised!"
She's right but she's also wrong because he honestly thought he would never see her again. The fact that not only she's forgiven him but also hints at a potential romantic relationship makes him stand up from his seat as fast as he can just to be by her side.
"What are you doing?" She laughs as he kneels next to her chair. "Sasha?" He doesn't answer immediately, instead, he takes advantage of his height and cradles her face with his hands. "Sasha?" Alina asks again, softer this time.
"I'm sorry for all I did. And I know I already said that but I want to apologize again, Alina. Because I never intended to hurt you and trust me, there won't be another time," he promises. His face almost touches hers, they are breathing the same air and he becomes intoxicated by her perfume and by the fact that he can count her eyelashes and make constellations out of her freckles.
"It's okay Sasha, really," she whispers, no need to raise her voice when they are so close, when she's all he can see. The world begins and ends with them.
"I'm going to kiss you now, okay?" He asks but he doesn't let her answer, instead he goes for it, closing the space between their faces and joining their lips.
Desire travels through his body as she kisses him back, eagerly. He doesn't even have a second to doubt his behavior because Alina's lips are hungry and passionate against his own. Her hands grab onto his hair, her fingers messing it up, keeping him so close he gets drunk on her.
Alina takes control of the kiss pretty quickly, using her tongue to coax his lips open, stealing his breath in one single action. His hands cup her face but then he's overcome with emotion, because finally he's kissing her and suddenly touching her face is not enough. He needs to touch all of her.
As her tongue expertly teases him, he busies himself with touching her face, her hair, her body. He can't get enough of her, sweet and teasing, intoxicating and all consuming. Perfect, perfect for him.
"Saints!" She exclaims when they break their embrace. Her lips are pink and puffy with her cheeks displaying a lovely shade of red. He rests his forehead against hers, enjoying thoroughly as he sees a variety of emotions as they cross her eyes, disbelief, surprise, acceptance, joy, delight, shame, lust… Aleksander thinks she's adorable as she bites her lip and giggles, still out of breath. "We could've been doing that for a long time now."
"Yeah," he agrees, putting a rebel strand of hair behind her ear. They could've been kissing for a long time, but he can't complain because it's not like they wasted time, instead they were able to share laugh and heartbreak and that's fine too. "I plan to keep doing it, so don't worry."
Alina's eyes shine when she hears his comment and he takes advantage to kiss her again, enjoying how she melts against him and eagerly kisses him back. He kisses her until she bites his lower lip and he remembers she has claws as well.
"Let me breathe, you crazy man!" She chuckles before cupping his face with her delicate hand. There's a sweet smile on her face and he just feels grateful, to be able to be in her presence once again.
"Would you like to have lunch with me?" He asks, hopeful. Alina nods before she wraps her arms around his shoulder, hugging him tightly. She hides her face on the crook of his neck, making him smile. Alina is a gem, a treasure he stumbled upon and was close of losing but he knows he would do anything to keep her happy and by his side. "Thank you, by the way. For sending that email."
He feels her breath on his neck and has to fight the tickles, instead focusing on caressing her hair, using his fingers to thread to the strands.
"People were interested in adopting Taura, taking her home," she admits, voice almost a whisper. "And I kept finding excuses not to give her away, I knew she was yours. I knew I wanted her to go home with you. And all I kept thinking was you so it was a no brainer. I know you'll take good care of her," Alina explains, pressing a kiss behind his ear before she faces him.
He looks at her and nods, because of course he will take good care of Taura. But he will also take good care of Alina, of what they have.
That is a promise he intends to keep.
two years later
"Are you two done?" Alina asks from the bathroom.
Aleksander raises his head, eyesight going from Taura, who rests lazily against his naked chest, and to Alina, who stands in the threshold, arms crossed against her chest.
"Green is not a good look on you, moya lyubov," he comments, causing Alina to roll her eyes in response.
"Sasha, we're going to be late," she argues as he caresses Taura's fur absentmindedly.
"And whose fault is that?" He fires back and she flips him off before going back to the bathroom.
"Get dressed Sasha!" Alina orders from their bathroom.
Aleksander knows her word is final so he takes a deep breath and kisses Taura in her head before gently setting her aside and walking towards their closet. He takes his time buttoning his shirt and putting on his tie. It takes him less than two minutes, so he carefully takes his time tying his shoes.
When he has nothing else to do, he goes to the bathroom where Alina is still working on her make up.
He stands on the threshold, arms crossed against his chest as he looks at her through the mirror.
Alina looks beautiful, as beautiful as she looked when he met her.
She's wearing a hot pink jumpsuit that hugs her curves and reveal most of her legs, which is a sight he's always appreciative of. He stares at them for a while, making Alina chuckle.
"What?" He asks, snapping out of his reverie.
She shakes her head. "Nothing, you're just very predictable," she answers as she finishes with her mascara and grabs a lip liner.
"And what if I told you," he says, coming closer to her. His eyes never leave her face, locked with hers through the mirror. "That I'm not predictable, but you just happen to be very beautiful," he whispers before hugging her from behind.
"I would call you a flatterer," she says with a wink, melting against his body as she busies herself with lining her lips.
Aleksander doesn't reply. Instead, he keeps looking at her. So beautiful, his Alinochka, he thinks he would never get tired of watching her.
She's sporting a new haircut, one that made her feel nervous but ended up suiting her perfectly. It leaves her neck bare so everyone can see the eclipse tattoo she got at the nape of it, one that matches the one he has on his left shoulder.
Because they belong to one another and it's imperative the world knows. It's not enough that he put a ring on her finger, it is not enough that in a couple of months they will be pronounced husband and wife. He will always come up with ways to let the world know she's his and he's hers.
"You do look very beautiful," he murmurs against the top of her hair before pressing a kiss and making her giggle.
"If you keep this up Taura will be jealous," she points out as she dabs a bit of lipstick on her lips.
"I only see one jealous person and tonight we're celebrating our engagement," he points out, arms tightening around her waist.
"Say that again," she orders, arms coming to rest atop of his.
"Tonight we're celebrating our engagement," he whispers in her ear, biting her lobe and making her gasp.
"And yet you claim I'm jealous?" She asks, turning around and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I have your ring on my finger. I carry your heart with me. Your love belongs to me. And I'm jealous of our cat?"
Aleksander licks his lips, a smile growing in his face. He loves when she talks like this. Not only because he enjoys hearing her talk about their relationship but also because he likes to joke that some of his dramatics rubbed off on her.
"You know no one compares to Taura," he answers and she rolls her eyes.
"Just kiss me before I decide maybe you should marry her," she orders and he obeys without a second thought.
Because what Alina didn't mention is that she has him wrapped around her fingers and there's no other way he'd like to be.
When they separate, she leans against his forehead and smiles at him.
"Maybe I'll keep you to myself," she jokes. "I love you, Sasha."
"I love you too, my Alinochka," he answers. "I wouldn't want to be anyone else's."
She smiles at him, stealing another kiss before she demands that they go otherwise they will never leave their apartment. Aleksander trails after her like a lost kitten, grabbing their coats and as she says goodbye to Darkling, Sankta, and Taura while he checks they are good on water and sand.
Alina is out the door as he says goodbye to their cats and looks around at the home they built together over the years. It's warm and cozy, a perfect blend of their personalities. the only place he wants to be when things are hard.
His eyes travel around the place he and Alina built, smiling to himself. Years ago he promised he would keep her safe, that he would do everything to protect her and make her happy. He thinks he has done good on his promise.
He closes the door behind him, walking towards her.
Alina, his fiancée. Beautiful with a ring on her finger and a barely noticeable bump. She smiles at him, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together.
He will keep the promises he made, protecting her, Darkling, Sankta, and Taura.
And their baby as well.
fin.