Disclaimer: I do not own Spy x Family. This is purely for entertaining purposes.

Chapter 4

He was alive. Loid was alive. Not dead. Alive, alive, alive.

The mantra repeated again and again, a foggy haze setting Yor in a daze. Her limbs moved on instinct alone, winding through the dark with ease whereas her mind could not tell apart a brick wall from shockingly blue eyes.

Loid was standing before her, telling her how proud he was of her. Loid was in the kitchen, hair tousled, making dinner. Loid was sitting in front of her, newspaper in hand, smiling. Loid was hovering over Anya, exasperated, despite the love pouring from his eyes.

She crossed the bridge, and Loid was there too, arm wrapped around her shoulder as they walked home from their dinner date. Loid led the conversation and she listened, as always, soothed by the low and smooth timbre of his voice.

Loid was there, by her side, through dark alleys and lamp-brightened streets. Loid, not Twilight. Or were they always one and the same? What set them apart, besides their occupations? Yor sighed at the door in front of her. Even after everything, she couldn't find it within her heart to be mad at him. Hurt and upset, but not mad, not angry. Not after what he had told her.

She rapped her knuckles across the door three times, the same way the officer had knocked a year ago, with news that would change her forever. Only Franky opened it this time, a mass of dark curls before he opened the door all the way.

"I put her to bed a little while ago. She got all worn out after playing with the dog."

"Thanks, Franky." She pressed a handful of bills in his hand, even though he stopped asking to be paid after Loid "passed". Nevertheless, he tucked the bills into the inside of his jacket with a sigh, before wishing her goodnight, shutting the door behind him.

Yor stared at the door. Did he know? If he knew, why didn't he tell her? She shook her head. It wasn't any of her business, nor was it right to ask. It wasn't like she'd told anyone she was Thorn Princess, either. No one–except for Twilight.

She hung her coat and purse and pulled off her boots, marveling at the feeling of flat footing after wearing heels for over sixteen hours. Walking down the hallway, she peered into Anya's room, where the little girl who she loved with her entire heart and soul–no matter where she came from, even if she wasn't actually Loid's daughter–slept soundly, cuddled cozily next to Bond and the worn chimera plushie she refused to get rid of. She closed the door silently.

In the bathtub, Yor watched the water wash over her. For once, it was clear. Clean and pure. She sank into the tub, the sudden rush of water on her scalp tingling, and laughed. For no reason known to her. Just gasping, uncontrollable laughter. It was almost sad, but diamonds were worth more than rubies, after all.

The water seeped into the tiles when she stood. She glanced into the mirror. In the pale lighting, the hollows under her eyes protruded; the marks and bruises stark against her skin. When would it be over? The thought pounded at her temples. No, don't say that, Yor. You're proud of what you've had to endure.

She was. She had to be. Right? She had told Twilight so, after all. The sleepless nights, the stained dresses, the scarred hands–she never minded. If she could protect the people she loved, it was always worth it. If she didn't do her job, the world wouldn't be good enough for the people she loved. Shopkeeper had told her so.

Right?

Suddenly, she was fifteen again, curled up on the faded floor tiles of the butcher shop she thought she had long forgotten, bloody enough to match her surroundings, and afraid. More afraid than she'd ever been in her life.

"Why are you afraid, Thorn Princess?" Shopkeeper had asked.

"What if Yuri thinks I'm a m-murderer or s-something?" she sniffled, "I-I know they're in Heaven but what if this makes my parents upset?"

"Your parents will be okay. The world was never good enough for them, after all. And it won't be for Yuri, unless you do this, Thorn Princess. You must."

She blew her nose, "I must?"

"Yes. Blood always washes off. Now, get up, Thorn Princess," he smiled, the deep lines around his face distorting, and straightened, crossing his hands behind his back. "You've got a job to do."

Yor leaned over the bathroom sink, knuckles white. Her reflection stared back at her, biting. Blood always washes off, he'd said. But at what cost? The scars left behind never faded. She'd done everything she could to protect Yuri, but who had protected her? Who had held her when she watched red water drain from the tub for the first time? When she missed her parents? Yuri was an adult now. Who was left to heal her scars?

Could she even do it? Just live as Anya's mom, without having to worry about hiding her scars and bruises from her daughter? Without having to worry about reeking of blood or washing stains? And what if she could've lived that life all along, if she had just given the world a chance? What if she and Loid–Twilight–were both wrong? What if they didn't have to fight for peace; what if peace would come to them?

The weight of a decade slipped off of her as she stood, the force of her epiphany lifting her up. Somewhere outside, a clock chimed four. This would be her last late night, she swore. In a few hours, Shopkeeper would be in for a rude awakening.

The scent of roses was strong. Too strong. She always found the garden breathtaking, the scent sweet, but not today. Today it was too bright and too shiny, like fool's gold. At the center of it all, white robes reflecting each ray of the sun, stood a lean man, his back facing her.

Snip, snip, snip. Snip. The deadliest shears in all of Ostania trimmed thorns, leaves, and petals alike with meticulous precision.

Snip, snip. She breathed in, swallowing, "Hello, Shopkeeper."

The trimming stopped, the shears lowering. Her boss straightened, still facing away, as his head tilted towards the sun, and for a moment Yor wondered if he had the power to cover the sun with clouds and drain the world from warmth forever.

"Thorn Princess." His tone was dry and light, as though it were rolling off of his tongue for the first time, and he couldn't quite decide if he liked it or not. "You weren't summoned today."

"No, I wasn't."

"Cut to the chase, Thorn Princess. Time is a valuable thing."

She gulped. It's been a long time coming, Yor. "Shopkeeper, I quit."

Silence. And then a wry chuckle as her boss of over a decade slowly set down his shears, dead, cold, dark eyes that she once found warm laying fixed on her, "Is that so?"

"Yes, from this moment on, I will no longer be Thorn Princess."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

A/N: Well, this chapter has certainly been a long time coming. I apologize profusely for the delay and for the length of this chapter - life has been an absolute whirlwind lately, but I had to put something out. I just want all my readers to know that I fully intend to finish this work. Thank you so much for your patience and all of your support. Lots of love