'Why is Taichou on his last nerves today?' Renji thought endlessly as he began to wipe the floors clean with the cleaning towel. He'd changed earlier into comfortable clothes and his taichou had made sure that Renji knew his place – even if it meant it was in the human world.
Scrubbing the floor till it squeaked, Renji made little progress. But so did his thoughts.
Revolving around the one man he was not meant to think of, Renji had a hard time completing his task.
In his mind, those words kept echoing:
"For Rukia's sake, I must…" But his taichou's voice seemed so hurt and distant, he couldn't think what he possibly had to do for Rukia.
'Should I ask her directly?' Renji thought. Then as soon as he weighed his thoughts, he wanted to slap himself.
'Of course, it must be that,' Renji thought. A distant voice of Rukia kept humming in his ears, the words… 'what were they?' he thought, as he was pulled into a distant image of a grey morning and a gut-wrenching discussion.
"Rukia, what do you mean?" Renji had asked, sipping on his beer in the bar outside Seiretai.
"I mean," Rukia half-whispered, half- spoke, "I want Byakuya to remarry. Even if she is from a different or low clan, unlike the elders, I just want him to marry."
When her words were met with creased brows, she'd explained:
"The Elders want him to marry to only pro-create and make alliances stronger for the Soul Society, but I," Rukia pointed to herself with the mug, "want him to marry for his happiness.
Renji had nodded. What else could he do? Say that he liked her brother more than it was necessary for a captain-vice relationship? Of course not.
Then he'd asked the stupidest question. As they say: Don't ask questions, you don't want to know. But he'd asked it anyways.
"What if," Renji had looked at Rukia, and spoken with seriousness lacing his words, "he was liked by a man or let's say he liked a man? Would you be ok with that?" When Renji had witnessed post that had frozen him.
Rukia, on the floor, laughing like a dog with the belly-up.
When Renji had grown worried for the on-lookers, Rukia had fixed herself back and said, "Oni-san," Rukia chuckled, "does not like men. He'd straight as a pole, Renji."
"How do you know?" Renji had asked, curiosity cutting through his words.
"You know, Kei-tan from unit 4?"
When Renji had nodded nervously, Rukia continued, "Well the chap is gay, which is not a new news, but he'd confessed to Oni-san. Now you know, Kei-tan is handsome and to some extent quite hot, but the way ni-san denied him, he'd holed himself in his house for months."
Renji could only look at Rukia and say nothing. Only the quoted words kept replaying in his head as he'd gone back to his quarters: "You being gay is fine, but don't try to use it on me. I hate men like you. Go find your own type."
CRASH! THUD!
A sharp pain made him hiss in pain. As he looked down, he saw…blood from his gigai suit on the floor. Mind still foggy, he took a minute or more to locate the source of the pain.
From behind him came light footsteps and they stopped in front of him. His left hand was snatched away from him and firmly yet gently placed on a hand not particularly his.
Recognizing the hands, Renji tried to pull it away but the reaction was the exact opposite. The grip became tighter and Renji felt more pain.
"Stop fidgeting," Byakuya's words froze Renji.
He looked up at the cold obsidian eyes.
"I'll take care of it," Renji said.
He didn't want to look at Byakuya right then. He wanted to look away. For if he did, he would perhaps say things or show things he'd planned on taking to the grave with him.
But Byakuya couldn't take the hint. And so he stayed.
"Don't move, stay here. There's glass shards everywhere. I'll go and get the kit Urahara san packed for us." With those words, Byakuya got up in a swift motion and disappeared to the 2nd floor, leaving Renji to thoughts that were beginning to claw at his heart and wrap them around his neck.
'Gay…rub it on me…'
'Gay…rub it on me…'
'Gay…rub it on me…'
Renji's mind was spiralling down. What if he told his taichou that he was also like Kei-tan…for…wasn't he like him? Gay and in love with Byakuya? Would Byakuya say the same things to him?
Then he scoffed out aloud as he felt sharp pangs of pain shooting from his left palm where Byakuya had miraculously managed to pour the whole bottle of iodine?
"What is so scoff-worthy here, Renji?" Byakuya asked, his tone low-key upset that Renji found his actions funny or childish, he couldn't decipher. But that upset him anyways.
"Nothing taichou," Renji finally spoke out loud.
"Good," Byakuya spoke with finality, "you should be grateful I'm not scolding you for being so careless and practically useless," Byakuya finished.
Renji looked up.
'Useless?'
He was useless? Something in him ticked.
"Besides, now we have extra mess to clean. Look at the blood. Look at the vase. We have to replace this vase with a new one or else the owner of the house will clearly be upset. As is, we don't have enough time to find the capsule and then this," Byakuya motioned to the floor and possibly to Renji as well.
Renji got up on his feet. His eyes were red. Like his hair. Byakuya stood motionless.
"I am useless? How so taichou? Haven't I done enough? Is there nepotism in the way I ranked to be the vice-captain of Gotei 6? Have I not proved myself?" Renji kept taking more steps towards the object of his anger till he'd managed to corner him to the wall.
"Renji," came Byakuya's voice, entering into Renji's mind and bringing forth a memory, a faint voice of possessive desire.
"Renji," Byakuya said again, "don't make me show you who's the captain here," Byakuya hissed ever so lightly. But his words held authority. So he backed away, but only enough to pass air between them.
Renji spoke, with equal calm before the storm, "I want the answer though, Byakuya."
No sama, no respect. Byakuya closed his eyes.
He was meant to be angry, he should be angry at the disrespect, but the air, the way Renji's essence had filled his nostrils had done more damage than he could control. They had brought back thoughts that Byakuya only pondered upon during the nights of extreme lack of control over Sake. Now, in broad daylight, his smell felt so real, so tangible, so close, that all Byakuya wanted was to take him in and make him writhe under him once again. To make him moan his name – just his name - no titles, no honorifics. Just two bodies yearning and summoning each other to fill themselves with each other.
Had Byakuya opened his eyes just a little bit sooner, he'd have witnessed the same feelings, yearnings, desires on the other as well. Renji heaved a heavy breath and then another and moved further back the same time Byakuya opened his eyes.
The image somehow felt so expected to Byakuya. Renji was the one Rukia was desiring and so, he should and is and will be out of reach for Byakuya.
Because if Renji were that close when Byakuya was opening his eyes, he'd have done what he'd wanted to do: Take Renji by force, and feast on every inch of his body even if Renji didn't want to. Byakuya would have driven his tongue and nibbled and licked the very mouth that could rave a storm in his heart. He wanted to suck on the jaw that felt sharp yet delicious. He wanted to nurse those pink buds on Renji's chest and bloom them into small, bulbous buds and those buds would then drive Renji mad each time they were flicked…with Byakuya's tongue and fingers. He'd squirm in pain and pleasure and then grab Byakuya's hair all the while driving them deeper into the assaulter's mouth and fingers.
Oh, Byakuya would like that very much.
He would smirk and lick them more, nurture them more until…until they'd make another little sapling stronger, harder, needier.
Byakuya froze. A dull ache snapped him back to reality. His groin was throbbing. He blinked. Was that even possible?
But Renji only saw Byakuya's brows creasing. And so he thought the obvious. Byakuya didn't want to answer him? Maybe he was right? Maybe nepotism? But who would? He was from the slums – the poorest part of soul society. Who would? Then another thought crossed his mind –
'What if it was all true? How would I feel then?'
Oh Renji didn't want to go there. So he did what came naturally to him when it came to his taichou: Apologize.
"Sorry Taichou, I was out of line. I'll fix the floor and look for a replica of the vase in the market. I'm sure Chad or the others will help me." With these words, Renji hurried to get the broom from the kitchen to clean the mess and Byakuya released a deep breath.
While Renji cleaned the mess, Byakuya slumped onto the floor of his room. What would he have done? Taken Renji? Forcefully? Was he that needy?
A fresh wave of guilt washed over him as Hisana and possibly Rukia's faces floated in his vision. Hisana's frail voice begging him to find Rukia and care for her still sent jolts of pain back to heart while Rukia's face when, for the first time she asked for something, flashed in his mind.
Byakuya made up his mind: He'd kill himself if needed but never, ever, touch Renji again, even if it was in his dreams.
What a formidable resolution it was. If only Byakuya knew how much he'd be tested on this….