Chapter 39

"So, how's Logan been?" Lorelai inquired as she was taking in the waist of the dress Rory had found luckily at a thrift store in New Haven. It was after Friday night dinner and the two were just hanging out with 'I Love Lucy' reruns in the background.

Rory felt incredibly glad to have found the dress - the dress was 1950, possibly early 60s, emphasizing her tiny waist and elegant figure along with its pencil skirt - definitely like nothing that was on the gossip pages or catwalks these days. But she hadn't wanted to buy yet again something from Saks Off 5th or Macy's, even if Logan had offered to treat her to it. She felt stuck between two words - having the money technically to splurge if one thought about the gift her grandfather had gotten her and feeling ashamed to do it because of the way she was brought up.

Since last week when the two had stayed over, and possibly made things pretty awkward for Lorelai considering their endless thirst for lovemaking on a couple of occasions, strangely enough Lorelai seemed to be easing up on Logan - inquiring more about him, but sounding pretty genuine. Rory was oblivious to the fact her mother had overheard them professing their love for each-other one night and ignored all the other noises skillfuly with the use of her headphones. But it didn't really matter, as long as it seemed to be moving things along in the right direction.

"He's been busy. His dad is dragging him all over the country. You know - sit in on meetings and now he's even having him do some solo traveling now too. And that's on top of his school work," Rory described. "Honestly, I don't know how he manages," she added, feeling proud of him.

"Well, he must not be dead stupid if he can juggle big things like that," Lorelai commented. It was almost a compliment. And Logan had certainly proved it to her mother time and time again at dinner or during breakfast how he had a way with his words and not just, but he also had content.

Rory eyed at her mother skeptically, being not too used to hearing compliments aimed at her boyfriend from her mouth. But since her mother was focused on her dress right now, she didn't really want to disturb her by confronting her and asking what had changed her mind. She wasn't about to push her luck.

"As I've said. He's really smart, smarter than me… it's like it takes him so much less time to study even. He's going to do great at the job he's being trained for even if he's not exactly thrilled about it," Rory discussed.

"Ah, the famous conveyor belt," Lorelai exclaimed, almost dreamily.

"It's not the same thing…," Rory wanted to argue, and did but she hadn't thought it through. "It's not the same as the Springsteens," she added, thinking back to the family they'd visited before submitting her college applications. That had indeed been the definition of the conveyor belt amongst the two of them but what Rory didn't realize quite that minute was that her mother knew a whole lot more about it than she'd let on.

"Yeah, but it's not like Logan had a lot of choice in what college he'd be going to," Lorelai commented.

"No, but he did get to pick his major," Rory replied.

"As long as it was… um.. Let me think - economics, PR, pre-law or business, right?" Lorelai listed.

"Well, yeah, they nor him would like to waste it on something he couldn't apply to practice, would they? And he is taking computer science too, I told you that," Rory continued.

"And now they'll start training him to take over the company. You know your dad was supposed to go through the exact same thing. First Princeton, majoring in law or economics, shareholder meetings and board meetings from his sophmore year onwards, then right into a senior level management position so the boy straight off from college would get to start filling his 'duty to this family' and manage men and women double his age, and pretend to know he knew what he was doing," Lorelai explained, actually making a very fair point. It did sound a lot like Logan's life.

"Yeah, well.. I'm not saying he's perfect or that the plan is. I just believe that he'll do great," Rory said, basing that off what she'd heard when Logan was on the phone handling these business things.

"And I know you don't want to hear this and I don't want you getting hurt… but those families also have a pretty concrete image of whom they want their sons to marry someday.., and generally it isn't the kind of woman who can stand on their own two feet or talk the talk. Those men love their limelight," Lorelai said, hiding a compliment directed to her daughter in there which she really wasn't hearing.

"Yeah, I know…," Rory chimed humbly. What she didn't understand, however, was why a woman capable of keeping up both an intelligent and witty conversation, which she'd certainly already proved to be capable of, was worse. Presidents had capable women by their sides and then it was seen as a positive. She was pretty enough, wasn't she? She was a Gilmore. She'd gone to the good schools, she'd a coming-out, she had good table manners and knew etiquette. Why wasn't she good enough? But being afraid to actually hear a real answer, an answer molded by her mother who despite claiming often otherwise - was an excellent manipulator, just like her grandmother, she chose not to ask that question. Truthfully, she was losing trust in her mother's words, right at this minute even doubting whether the positive things she'd said earlier had actually been real or not.

Their schedules had been a mess for the past week, probably the least time they'd spent together in months, and Logan had sent a car to pick Rory up, to waste less time on logistics because he was coming from another direction, having been to some family engagement on her mother's request, representing the family.

It wasn't even dark yet, yet the first part of the evening was about to commence. On her way over there, Rory and Logan had jokingly texted how nobody was probably even drunk yet and that the night was young for all kinds of debauchery. Rory was strangely impatient for the latter, even if it wasn't just the kind that happened when they got naked, but she just wanted to let loose - forget about school, the paper and most importantly - her mother's words.

"Wow, that's a good look," Logan hummed to Rory's neck in greeting, having met up with her in front of the Green River golf club. The sight of her climbing out of the limo, had definitely been worth the wait and by now Rory could read his gaze pretty well. It was a well-needed affirmation, without him needing to say the exact words.

"Thanks," Rory replied with a quick peck on his lips, loving getting a whiff of his masculine scent.

"Very… naughty librarian of you," Logan added, sliding his hand around her waist, underneath the slightly cropped jacket she was wearing out of her mother's closet, and looking her up and down appreciatively once again.

"You look good too," Rory commented, her palm pausing in the middle of his chest for a minute. It was like suits were made for him, and they probably were tailor made if one were to take it literally.

They were eager for a fun, adventure-filled night, the costume part of the evening still ahead later on. Drinking, dancing, possibly some games - the cool kind, fooling around amongst the two of them when they got sick of the former… And just enjoying each-other's company. They both felt they deserved a break, and there was no one else either would rather spend their break with.

"Are you ready to get in there?" Logan asked, but before Rory had a chance to reply another voice that was way more familiar to Logan surprised them.

"Logan! Good to see you! I was hoping to catch you!" Mitchum Huntzberger said, his words feeling like a cold bucket of water to the both of them.

To say that the two pulled apart like shrapnel would've been an overstatement, but there was an instant and notable cooling, the two knowing right then that it was too late to pretend they weren't each-other's plus ones for the evening. But there was a big difference between plus-ones, dating and calling someone his girlfriend - even Rory knew that.

"Dad," Logan nodded, his hand staying on the small of Rory's back but pulling himself from the more intimate vicinity of her.

"Ms. Gilmore, looking lovely, I see," Mitchum said, surprising Rory that he'd actually remembered her.

"Thank you, Mr. Huntzberger. Hi, how are you?" Rory said politely, feeling incredibly awkward.

"I'm good, thanks for asking," he replied curtly and went on to discuss something concerning the business - some meeting he wanted to whisk Logan off to next week, dismissing her completely. Not even so much as a 'how are you?' in return or something about the paper or school. She was an afterthought - not that she would've wanted a direct interrogation or a confrontation about her being Logan's date. Had he seen the intimacy between the two?

Mostly she couldn't believe how they'd not once thought about the possibility about the alumni at this event meaning Mithum. Now it was left to hope her grandfather wasn't going to be inside those doors they were about to walk though.

There was no direct comment to them being out together for what must've looked like the second time. Did he even care? Rory really couldn't tell, but on automatic she could tell how the man couldn't care less about who she was or what she thought.

But what annoyed her the most was the way the man led Logan ahead, leaving her awkwardly trailing behind the two as if she was somehow secondary. Logan never made her feel like that.

Thankfully, Mitchum got pulled aside by his other acquaintances once they were inside the room, allowing Logan to return to Rory. She'd never minded not making a grand entrance at the arm of the man she loved quite as much as this time, as the venue was indeed spectacular, beautifully lit up trees all around them, like a blossoming spring wonderland, and all the eyes were on the three of them as they had. Logan offered Rory his arm to carry on towards the bar and greet their friends, especially the birthday boy, but Rory could tell how his whole body language was off, not being the usual affectionate self. He was just being polite.

"You okay?" Logan asked, as they were out of Mitchum's hearing distance, a couple of quick greetings to other guests past them already. So far Finn was nowhere in sight, which wasn't a first.

"Uh-huh," Rory replied, looking down. "Did you know he was going to be here?" she replied, realizing it was a stupid question.

"He hardly ever comes to these things. But he knows Finn's dad so, maybe that's why," Logan speculated.

"Oh, well..," Rory inhaled, deciding to just get through this. "I guess we better just watch ourselves then," she replied and sighed, not wanting to have Logan mention it. She knew the drill, even if it felt discouraging - shameful even.

"I'll go get us a drink - Martini?" Logan suggested.

Rory nodded.

Rory could tell he was not oblivious of her feeling a little upset about the inconvenient surprise, but she didn't want to be the girl that made it into a big drama, nor was she going to insist on him making the two of them public at this thing. She wasn't that girl either. Besides, this was Finn's party.

She saw Juliet and Stephanie soon enough and after accepting her drink from Logan she went on to engage in catching up with them, distancing herself from Logan a little. All of the current LDB group knew better than to use any labels about any of the others, they all knew how privacy was of the essence and it went both ways. Nobody here wanted their parents to intervene into their lives any more than they did, hence their personal affairs were often the last things they had any control of.

Finn was no different, emerging into his own party, twenty minutes late from a side door, still being in the process of adjusting his shirt buttons, and gorgeous red-head, her hair a little too messy to mean anything other than the obvious, sneaking in behind him a half a minute later. It was Finn, alright.

The first part of the evening turned into a rather formal cocktail party, the highlights of the party being when Rory talked to a couple of alumni she hadn't known prior to the event. One of them worked for the New Yorker as an editor, also a former YDN editor, and another one who was a famous Broadway producer and a playwrite. Rory was sure, she'd at the very least made an impression both times, being especially surprised how the former had actually looked her up before coming here and said he'd been looking forward to meeting her. She truly was flattered, but Logan had told her these things were like this - The LDB was a major connection to have in life, even if one wasn't a fan of nepotism.

Mostly she circled the room without Logan, but she could sense Logan's gaze on her numerous times. But from the fact that he made no attempt to really be around her, made her feel less than idea, like she was embarrasing to be around, like she was a mistress hidden into a closet in a moment's notice.

She would get compliments about her dress, and even her hair that was pulled neatly up, her writing and even her jokes. So that cheered her up a little.

Finn got numerous cheers for his big day, they had some appetizers and cake - and some people danced, but she didn't.

It was only after the majority of the alumni, including Mitchum, had headed on to the cigar room for a round of drinks amongst themselves, when Logan regained his position by her side, looking apologetic.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked.

"Not right now. Not the best heels for that," Rory replied, fibbing a little. She just wasn't feeling it. And to her, having Mitchum in the next room was too much like playing with fire. She truly didn't want to cause trouble for Logan.

"Alright," Logan agreed.

They went through the motions, and left the event along with the majority of the others, climbing back into their own limo to head back to Yale to change. They both had their costumes ready to go in Rory's dorm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he was going to be there. It's not how I wanted the night to go," Logan said, about ten minutes into their very quiet ride back.

"I know that..," Rory replied. "It just sucks, that's all..," she admitted. She didn't want to be the drama queen and admit that it also hurt.

"But the night's not over. I promise I'll make it up to you," Logan assured. "We can forget all about this, start over," he hummed, tentatively placing his arm around her shoulders. His touch worked like magic, melting away some of her somewhat surly and disappointed mood.

"I know, it's not," Rory replied, touching his cheek. He was especially cute when he was eager to please, having his own version of puppy eyes she'd seen a number of times by now.

The rest of the limo ride back to New Haven, wasn't too bad, allowing each-other to relax a little, Logan definitely exploring the naughty librarian theorem a little further. But the skirt really was too narrow for any under the skirt action. Though he had tried.

The Chilton uniform and Logan dressing up in a golden robe with a seethrough undershirt, only fed their attraction and about an hour into Finn's after party they were kissing their way into the handicapped bathroom, feeling like this couldn't wait to get back to the dorms.

"You're the hottest fucking girl here," Logan groaned huskily between the trail of kisses that went down her neck, slamming the door shut and locking it behind them.

"In a room full of pregnant and bloody brides and the extras in glittery dresses," Rory shot back, having been drinking a lot by now, struggling to recall the character names of the latter.

She'd been introduced to a lot of people at this party too, one of the girls called Whitney, whom she now recognized as one of the girls who'd been after Logan a while back in the fall, when she'd been new to the scene. It hadn't been great hearing the girl whisper something along the lines of 'her being trash' and 'her mother having her at 16' to another girl as they passed her - clearly a comment meant to be overheard, but as payback, she'd glanced back at her once or twice when the two of them were making out at the corner booth earlier.

"Still," Logan didn't bother with a proper argument, being too busy unbuttoning her chilton jacket, to get better access to her breast.

Rory's hands felt a little idle, Logan really not needing a lot of undressing to begin with.

"And god, those stockings… I strongly urge you to adapt them to your everyday wardrobe, Ace," he continued.

"And then we'd end up in places like this all the time," Rory replied, with a slight hiccup, laughingly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry the manager's bathroom was all locked up," Logan apologized, knowing Rory would get the joke.

He hadn't needed to convince her to come in here, both knowing how it was a little cheap - but they'd been told by the guys to 'go get a room' already ten times that night and other than leaving there really didn't seem to be another way to solve this. Besides, it wasn't like they hadn't ever done this in janitor's closets or dark corners around the campus anyways. And this particular bathroom was actually fairly clean, not that they were really paying much attention.

Logan hurriedly unbuttoned Rory's white shirt, leaving the red neck-tie in place.

While his one hand headed for her thin fabric over her breast, looking for her pert nipple, and the other went under her skirt, not soon enough for Rory's opinion, who could already feel herself throbbing for him.

Rory's hand slid down the front of his pants, finding the same firmness that she'd been feeling for the past several minutes on the couch. It was clear to her from his eyes he needed no warm up and neither did she.

"Logan," Rory exhaled near his ear, nibbling at his earlobe a little, between her own whimpers as he'd pushed past her underwear and was sliding this finger back and forth her sloppy slit.

"Yeah?" Logan teased.

"Fill me," Rory instructed, not waiting any longer, and turned around, making it very clear what she wanted. Her elbows rested on the wall just above the toilet paper holder.

"Oh yeah," Logan hummed, appreciatively, throwing the hem of her skirt over her back as she tilted down a little. He hadn't paid much attention to her underwear before, but the fact that it was the rather innocent kind, white cotton, only really added to his need.

The thin and already soaked fabric was pulled down her hips and Logan did what he'd been told - filled her. A loud moan escaped Rory's lips. Rory was beyond caring if anyone behind that door heard them, the rest of the party certainly didn't, the music thumping was heard all the way to the bathroom. It was almost as if she couldn't really be his publicly, she could be his here - loudly. She wasn't thinking straight but both were intoxicated, the reality check not being their highest priority.

Logan took that as a sign of encouragement and pumped into her ferociously, eager to hear her moan again. The audio oart was always something he enjoyed immensely and Rory knew it. He himself groaned at the image before him - definitely a high school fantasy he'd never quite gotten to live through, being cooped up in boarding schools his teenage years, where with none of the girls he hooked up back then had embraced their uniforms like this.

But this was more than just the sexy outfit - it was trust and freedom to play out so-what if somewhat stereotypical kinky fantasies.

Logan bent down and reached around her, twisting her nipples between his fingers as he continued to pound her, causing her to explicit various 'ah'-s and 'oh-s' at various volume, while himself grunting - "Oh, yeah," a number of times appreciatively.

While Rory enjoyed herself physicaly - feeling him always felt good, and it wasn't that she wasn't turned on, she was - she just had had a little too much to drink or maybe her head just wasn't as in it as she would've liked - but without bothering to touch herself or instructing him to do it, she just let herself be fucked, and faked her climax, staying just below that threshold. Deep down, without realizing it, she was matching the action with how she felt - used and cheap, even if she knew it wasn't just that, the alcohol disabling her ability to think rationally. Besides, she wasn't about to admit that to Logan and put it down for a one-time bad night.

Logan sounded like he'd been on the verge for a while anyways so it only took him a minute to shoot his load inside of her. She could still feel him throb within her as he unloaded his juices into her. She'd be dripping down her thighs throughout the night - but that almost felt like he'd marked her his. And that was the feeling she enjoyed right now, taking what she could.

"Ah, god, that was good," Logan replied, and handed her a tissue to clean up, and tidied himself up as well.

"Yeah, it was," Rory replied, not even having to lie. It had been. She'd come in here willingly, and it hadn't been bad or non-consensual. Her head just was in a bad place, and she continued to drown a row of tequila shots as soon as they exited, causing even Logan to look at her with a somewhat concerned look. But she'd made it seem like she was just celebrating another year of Finn and appeared all preppy doing it, proving to be rather hard to read.

Rory didn't even know how they got back to her dorm, the world around her seeming very wobbly. Paris was asleep, thankfully, and Logan did the undressing. Rory wasn't exactly co-operative.

"You alright there?" Logan asked, seeing Rory at the most drunk he'd ever seen her, taking off her blazer the second time that evening.

"Yup," Rory replied, along with another hiccup.

"Kind of overdid it, uh?" Logan continued, friendiliy, wanting to make sure she was fine. He wasn't even sure if he should stick around or bail, truth be told. The bed was narrow and he knew how she slept like a starfish when she was drunk, he wasn't even sure she wanted him to stay. But he was concerned and felt like he probably should.

"What do you mean?" Rory replied, staggering on her feet again.

"Come on, have some water," Logan offered, smiling at her understandingly.

"Oh, no-no. I don't think I can have any more liquid…," Rory argued. But even thinking about liquids did what she unconsciously feared the most, and threw up over Logan's robe.

It was definitely a new level of intimacy for the two and not in a good way.

"Fuck," she groaned, but not really registering how awakward it had been.

"It's just a robe, don't worry," Logan replied, and guided her to lay down on her bed, and got her a trash can with a plastic bag in it to have it nearby and began with disposing of the robe he'd been wearing. It wasn't a pleasant situation, but he'd seen Finn and Colin at their worst, so he knew this. "You really should try to have some water," he urged, just wanting to make her feel better.

There was more throwing up that night, along with various nonsensical trains of thoughts that Rory had almost no idea she was expressing. She'd talked about how her mother had taught her to always eat tacos before, while and after drinking, how she'd once stayed out all night at some dance studio and how her mother had freaked out about her getting pregnant and a dozen other things - random things.

But as the final moment before dozing off about an hour later, she'd begun crying, the question - "Why am I not good enough?" slipping out to and into Logan's consciousness, before sobbing herself to sleep, right there in Logan's arms.