With this chapter, THD turns five years old! Wow, big milestone, thanks for staying with me for this long! And now it's review time!
amit .avrashmi: Thanks! An Eva vs. Jo matchup would've been great, pity the Ice Dancers don't care for our sense of epicness. Taylor will explain why she didn't acknowledge Josee's failings in the last one (also most of her rivalry is with Heather anyway). DJ probably would have won Chef's idea for a tiebreaker, although if Gwen was still in the game she'd probably have given him a run for his money (I took that challenge, and the Tiger Tail, from Dramarama).
Guest: She might, I'm not sure.
Joel Connell: Thanks! The original episode I adapted last chapter from did that with the kids still in the game; of course, since Sky's still around in THD at the moment I decided to change some things up. Twist eliminations can be pretty good if they're executed properly.
HotPink Tigress: Thanks!
Guest: The magic of cartoons.
PS: Don't forget to vote!
Saturday, March 3, 2018
"Last time on Total Drama – we had some special challenges! [Chris revealing the new challenges] You see, even a genius of a man like me needs some help sometimes. See, I can be humble!"
"Just get on with it," Dudley groaned from the other side of the camera.
"Backtalk comes out of your pay, you know. Anywho, four of our past eliminees came up with challenges they'd like to see our current contestants partake in. [clips of the four challenges] The Tempered Tortoises [Crimson reciting her poem] were favored to win, and they did! In a surprise twist, though, the Charitable Chipmunks won the last challenge and came in second. Somehow. [Noah contemplating] Jacques and Josee [Jacques deliberately losing the tree challenge] hatched a plot to get rid of Eva [Eva helping Brick] after Eva roughed Sugar up in the previous episode. [Eva throwing Sugar off of Ella] With some unwitting help from Jen [Jacques making Jen angry], their plan succeeded and another Misfit bit [Hey, that rhymes!] the dust. [Eva's elimination]"
Chris stood at the Dock of Shame. "Twenty-seven contestants remain once again. Who'll kick it into gear and who'll get kicked off? Find out here on
"Total.
"Drama!"
Theme song
*Instrumental*
A camera appeared from the snow-covered bushes, scaring off a squirrel. Another came from a tree, startling a blue jay. The third popped out of the ground, but this time Harold jumped clear of it, only to hit his head on a low-hanging branch.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera flew across the snowy island, passing Chris looking out at the world from the comfort of his room, Brick trying to learn how to channel another song, Sam playing one of his videogames, Lindsay making a snowman, Crimson and Ennui staring blankly into space, and Shawn running away from a once-again awake Scuba Bear.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think it's plain to see
DJ, Miles, and Laurie were one with the few animals still awake during winter. DJ looked at a drawing of Dawn he'd made for an art class and sighed wistfully.
I wanna be famous
Heather, Josee, and Taylor battled it out on the banks of the frozen lake in a snowball fight. Taylor ended up throwing her snowball at a tree, which dumped snow all over Heather, much to Taylor and Josee's delight.
*Instrumental*
Owen trudged across the ice covering the river, then slipped and faceplanted into the snowbanks. Geoff and Bridgette immediately rushed over to help him up.
I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Jo and Zoey climbed to the top of Bluegrass Hill, where Jo let out a roar that triggered an avalanche beneath them. Jo smiled sheepishly at a confused Zoey.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
Chef was making dinner, and Tyler, Sanders, MacArthur, Beardo, and Ella were eying his no-longer-deliberately-bad cooking hungrily.
'Cuz I wanna be famous
Sammy and Cody were making out, and with one of his hands facing backwards Cody accepted a high-five from Sierra.
Na na nana na na nana nana na na na na na naaaaah
Eva, Leshawna, Sky, and Jasmine worked out in the Drama Gym, although Sky was struggling with her weights.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous
Alejandro had lit the campfire and was standing behind it ominously. Devin and Carrie, unbeknownst to him, were watching, and Carrie raised an eyebrow at Devin as if to say "See? I told you he was evil."
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.
Topher chatted with Dakota, who was busy with intern work. Behind them, Scarlett was pushing around a snowblowing machine she'd recently invented.
*Whistling*
At the campfire, as the other campers I didn't have time to name looked on excitedly, Noah and Emma looked each other in the eyes...and Jen appeared between them to show off some new designs. Though slightly miffed, Noah and Emma shrugged and struck up a conversation with her.
Patient Pangolins
"Stop...tickling me, Mr. Blankie..." Harold mumbled in his sleep as something tickled his nose. He opened his eyes and realized that his blanket wasn't the one tickling him. "GEEPERS!" he shrieked, recoiling in horror and wiping his face. The culprit, a brown-lipped snail, seemed to cackle at him in response from its new perch on his pillow.
"Harold, are you alright, man?" Tyler asked from the other bunk. He stepped down to investigate but slipped on a trail of slime. "WHOA!" He fell on his back and a sizeable group of snails crawled out from under his bed and laughed mockingly at him. "Owwwww! Aw, geeze, I threw my back out at THIS hour?"
"And we haven't even, like, started the friggin' challenge," Harold groaned. "If this is what today's gonna be like, just vote me off now."
"That can be arranged, shrimp," Jo grumbled darkly as she passed their room, four snails stuck to her head.
Confessional – Harold.
"I swear, the pest problems get mega worse and crazy weirder the longer you stay on this show." A snail crawled onto the camera, making the image blurry with its slime, and Harold groaned. "Oh, now you're just being petty! Gosh!"
Some time later
"Alright, Phil's on the snail problem, but I'm honestly not sure how they got there," Dakota said.
"And I honestly don't care," Chris shrugged in reply before turning to address the kids at the Mess Hall. "Alright! Who here knows kung fu?"
"Oh boy, here comes another culturally insensitive challenge," Emma groaned.
"Says the girl whose sister has a Japanese name. It's like the author didn't know that 'Kitty' is short for 'Katherine' when he started this fic." A pause. "Oh, that's...actually true."
"Regrettably," someone very important admitted from offscreen, blushing as much as one could with green skin.
"Anywho," Chris continued, "today's challenge will involve kung fu, but I'm guessing that none of you have ever formally learned it. Luckily, you won't have to." He pressed a button on his remote and a motorized coatrack zoomed next to him, carrying several green and yellow mechanical suits. "Break into Teams Truth and Lie." The kids did so and Chris continued.
"Now, six people from each team will wear one of these suits, and six other people will control them via joysticks I'll be handing out to you later. The controller will be given a booklet of kung fu poses and must maneuver their controllee into the poses in the booklet. You'll each have a unique pose to do and Chef will rate your accuracy on it."
"Chef knows kung fu?" Brick asked.
"Mm-hm," Chef confirmed. "Some days I need more variety in m' warmup stretches."
"Now, since Truth and Lie aren't the same size today, I'll need some people to sit out. Those people are Owen, Jasmine, and Leshawna as the website that makes these suits couldn't do a custom job for you three fast enough."
"Is my butt really that big?" Leshawna asked skeptically.
"Hey, their words, not mine. Instead of kung fu fighting, you'll be helping Chef by making sure that no one cheats." Chris cleared his throat. "Now then! Of those remaining, the first six alphabetically will be the controllers, and the last six alphabetically are the controllees! The first person in each group will pair off with each other, then the second person in each group, and so on down the line. The first person alphabetically will get the first pose in the book, the second person alphabetically will get the second pose in the book, and once again, the same as before, and so on down the line."
"You could've just said that the number of the group corresponds to the number of the pose," Sammy remarked.
"Yeah, but then he wouldn't have talked as much," Jasmine replied, earning some laughs.
"Yeah, yeah, yuck it up, kiddies," Chris deadpanned. He then saw Chef laughing. "Et tu, Brian?"
"Hey, that was a good one and you know it," Chef chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Somehow I'm not seeing it."
Underlined are the controllers, italicized are the controllees.
Truth: Beardo and Harold, Brick and Jen, Carrie and Lindsay, Cody and Noah, Devin and Sammy, DJ and Scarlett, Owen, Jasmine.
Lie: Crimson and Josee, Ella and Justin, Emma and MacArthur, Ennui and Sky, Jacques and Taylor, Jo and Tyler, Leshawna.
Lie
"As much as I would like to win gold for l'équipe jaune, I'm afraid we may have to sabotage ourselves again," Jacques sighed.
"Indeed," Josee agreed reluctantly as she got into her suit. "With four Misfits on this team plus quite a few who are not keen on them, it would be foolish not to remove one. However, I don't believe that the others will be fooled if WE cause Vérité to win. Jennifer has already wised up to what we did last time."
"So what is the plan?"
"We will need to make our efforts subtle by pinning the blame for our team's loss on another person. Someone who is known for being inept, for whom a large failure would be ordinary, so that the less-perceptive will not look too closely at how they lost."
"C'mon, Tyler, what's the hold-up?" Jo barked from off to the side, getting their attention.
"My foot's stuck!" Tyler exclaimed back, his right foot caught halfway down the leg of his suit. He hopped around on his other foot, flapping his right leg in vain to try and get his foot through the hole, but only succeeded in falling over on his face.
As they watched Tyler's mishap unfold, the two devious Quebecois grinned. "I do believe we have our bouc émissaire," Josee purred approvingly.
Confessional – Jo.
"I don't know if it's the controllers, or if it's Tyler, but somehow he managed to nearly choke himself with the stupid suit...BEFORE he put it on," Jo groaned. "And I'm stuck with him at least until noon. If he [f word]s this up, he's going before he hurts somebody else."
Truth
"Okay, let's see...we're the fifth group, so...fifth page," Devin said, flipping to said page. "Dragon style. Well, probably alligator style given the last time Chris touched a Chinese dragon."
Sammy shuddered. "Yeah, looking back I'm glad I missed that episode. I don't think I would've lasted very long on that bike...or during that dining experience." She sighed. "Well, it's nice to be back here so I can get voted off fairly, at any rate. How about you, Devin?"
"I'd like to apologize to you for sticking with Alejandro for as long as I did," Devin said morosely. "I should've known he was using me..."
"Don't be like that, Dev. Alejandro was good at hiding his true intentions when he wanted something from someone. Just be glad the show exposed him; I don't think he was really thinking through how many cameras Chris has on the island."
Devin chuckled. "Thanks for reminding me. Now, are you ready for your arm to...possibly end up somewhere odd?"
The blonde shrugged. "I'm a cheerleader who used to regularly make pyramids and the like, when aren't they ending up somewhere odd?"
"When you're asleep?"
"Not even then, buddy."
Lie
"And that should be the end of the Dragon Pose," Jacques said, finishing his rehearsal with Taylor's pose. "I must say, I'm half-tempted to try these out myself. I haven't been able to practice my craft at all since I got out here, and I might need some additional moves to spruce up my repertoire."
"Yeah, additional moves just for your skating," the girl grumbled as she put her arms back against her sides.
"Whatever do you mean?" he asked, suddenly suspicious.
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," Taylor snapped. "I know you two threw the last challenge to get Eva out. No way did Jacques LeBlanc and Josee Besnard suddenly lose all their skills."
"You did not say anything about it to Josee last time," he noted.
"It was the quiet challenge, remember?" she pointed out. "Much as I wanted to, I woulda lost. And I don't lose."
"And neither do I, ideally," Jacques replied, choosing to ignore the fact that Taylor had ultimately lost said challenge. "But you see, we need to cut the Misfits back down before they grow strong again. Alejandro was, for all his faults, good at removing them, so with him gone we will need to perform the task ourselves. Now, today Tyler is on our team, and we want him gone. Owing to his clumsiness it would be very easy to disguise an effort to cheat as his typical incompetence, and the others still do not think that you are much of an intellectual threat."
Taylor sighed. "Fine, I'll help you botch today's challenge so we can get Football Flop out the door. But not again. Got that?"
"I would not have asked for any less. Now, here's what Josee and I will need some help with..."
Some time later
"Time's up!" Chris announced. "Are you prepared to impress Chef?"
"Yes!" Carrie exclaimed, determined.
"No!" Lindsay exclaimed, equally enthusiastically and smiling just as wide as her controller.
"Alrighty then! Group One, you're up first with Tiger!" He made a suave growly noise for emphasis...at least, he tried to make a suave growly noise.
"That sounded like my cat when I bathe her," Jasmine remarked, and everybody laughed at Chris, who pouted.
Beardo and Harold lined up on one side, while Crimson and Josee did the same on the other. The trickiest part of Tiger was extending the right leg out while putting all of one's weight on the left. While both sides had trouble balancing their controllees, Beardo had more issues than Crimson did, Harold nearly toppling at least five times.
Eventually, Crimson got Josee into the right pose. "Not bad, Lie. I'd say that's a solid nine right there," Chef nodded before turning to Truth. "Truth, you guys get a six for nearly fallin' as many times as y'did."
"Sorry, Harold," Beardo apologized. "You're better at this controller stuff than I am."
"S'okay, a six isn't terrible," Harold replied gently.
"And now it's time for Group Two with Crane!" Chris declared.
"Like Lofty?" Lindsay asked, confused.
"Like the bird, kiddo. The truck kind of crane didn't exist when kung fu was being invented."
"Ohhhh."
Confessional – Lofty.
"C-chris is m-mean, I-I don't like him," the nervous three-axle all-terrain crane stuttered, so large that he had to be parked outside of the confessional rather than inside of it.
Score:
Truth: 6
Lie: 9
Brick and Jen lined up on one side, while Ella and Justin did the same on the other. Crane was even harder than Tiger because it required standing on one foot. Justin's build, while visually impressive, made him topheavy, and he fell down twice before Ella finally managed to put him into the right position. Jen's slight body and small stature, in comparison, made it quite easy for Brick to get her into Crane relatively quickly.
"Truth, y'get eight. Nice job. Lie, I gotta take off for fallin' down twice, you get three," Chef said at last.
"I'm sorry, Justin," Ella apologized.
"Nah, it's okay, Ells. I don't think I'd be able to stand on one foot for very long without this suit," Justin remarked as he shakily set his right foot on the ground again.
"Alright, Truth has overtaken Lie! But how long will this last?" Chris asked. "Let's find out with Leopard!" He tried to make another suave growly noise, but this one was even worse than the first.
"Dude, you sound like you're sick," MacArthur remarked. "Like, strep throat sick."
"Just do your pose, kid! Geesh."
Score:
Truth: 6 + 8 = 14
Lie: 9 + 3 = 12
Carrie and Lindsay lined up on one side, while Emma and MacArthur did the same on the other. Leopard was even harder than Crane as it required putting one's knees on the ground and bending one's feet in odd ways while leaning down and stretching out the arms. MacArthur, surprisingly, was better at being maneuvered into it than Lindsay was, her fuller figure surprisingly giving her the advantage by increasing the surface area of her legs, and thus her stability, while her glutes made it easy for her to spread out her legs. Lindsay was able to lean down more, though, due to being thinner, and since Chef was evaluating the kids based on accuracy...
"Truth, five. Lie, five also," Chef decided. "Bad Cop, you're not fully down, y'could get a six if you bent ovah more."
"Chef, with all due respect I can't be fully down," MacArthur said, gesturing to her belly.
"I was talkin' 'bout your spine. Little more give back there in your, well, y'back."
"Truth maintains its lead!" Chris declared while MacArthur stood up. "But can they keep it up to the finish? Snake Pose may shake those scores up! Ha, I'm rhyming!"
"Can someone help me up?" Lindsay asked, visibly wincing. "I think I sprained my tushie." The other three girls quickly clustered around her and helped her up. Chris visibly stewed at this show of compassion and how the kids completely ignored his little poem.
Score:
Truth: 6 + 8 + 5 = 19
Lie: 9 + 3 + 5 = 17
Cody and Noah lined up on one side, while Ennui and Sky did the same on the other. Snake was similar to Tiger, except both lower legs were held straight up and the torso was twisted to the right. Sky's high flexibility made her more stable, but Cody was better at the controls than Ennui was.
"Truth, perfect ten. Nice job, Geek Teeth," Chef said, nodding in approval at Noah's stance.
"Does that mean Cody can get me standing normal again?" Noah complained. "My rib injury's acting up."
"Yes, yes, you can go back to standin' up straight," Chef sighed. "Anyway, Lie, good but not quite there, eight outta ten."
"Cody's geekiness has surprisingly paid off!" Chris exclaimed. "Lie's still in the running, though, and we'll start our fifth round with Dragon Pose!"
"Let's just hope this doesn't drag on," Owen giggled, earning some laughs.
"Owen, you're supposed to be checking if people are cheating!" Chris hissed [hey, that rhymes! ...sorta].
"Nothin' worth checkin' so far," Leshawna shrugged. Jacques and Josee exchanged a cautious look.
Confessional – Jacques.
"The proctors will complicate things," Jacques remarked before grinning darkly. "So Taylor will not be acting out of the ordinary."
Score:
Truth: 6 + 8 + 5 + 10 = 29
Lie: 9 + 3 + 5 + 8 = 25
Devin and Sammy lined up on one side, while Jacques and Taylor did the same on the other. Dragon was similar to Stork, except the arms were drawn close to the chest rather than held outstretched. It was then that Jacques (or rather, Taylor) put the plan into action.
"Come onnnnn!" Taylor groaned, low and loudly, as she impatiently watched Devin get Sammy into position. "You're going too slow!"
"Controlling a person with a suit and a stick is harder than it looks!" Jacques shot back, eyes locked on his controller. "Now stop your chatter and let me focus!"
"Focus faster! Samey's getting ahead!"
"Hey!" Sammy yelled, momentarily breaking her pose. "That was uncalled for!"
"Shut up!"
Jacques shut his eyes and cringed, doing so just long enough for Taylor to wobble. "Wha- HEY!" she exclaimed as she toppled and hit the back of her head of the frozen ground. "JACQUES!"
"This is gettin' ridiculous," Chef sighed. "Truth, four. Lie, one. Get it together, kids."
"Yeah, Taylor, get it together," Sky glowered. Taylor fumed back as she shakily sat up. Noah raised an eyebrow at the whole exchange.
Confessional – Noah.
"That outburst seemed sudden, even for Taylor," Noah muttered. "What the heck is going on?"
Confessional – Jacques and Taylor.
"I do not recall telling you to let me fall," Taylor hissed, rubbing the bump on the back of her head tenderly.
"You promised you would help me throw the challenge so we could get Tyler out," Jacques reminded her. "Falling down would better our chances of earning a low score and diverting votes away from myself and my girlfriend. Now it is time that Josee gives our cohort a reason to vote for Tyler."
Score:
Truth: 6 + 8 + 5 + 10 + 4 = 33
Lie: 9 + 3 + 5 + 8 + 1 = 26
DJ and Scarlett lined up on one side, while Jo and Tyler did the same on the other. Mantis was similar to Snake, with the biggest difference being that Mantis faced to the person's left rather than to their right.
Partway through the positioning, though, Josee suddenly sneezed, and a loud one at that. "GYIPE!" Tyler shrieked, jumping in his suit. This caused him to fall. DJ also jolted and dropped his controller; luckily for him, Scarlett was already mostly in position save for the twist in her torso.
"Same as last time. Truth, four. Lie, one," Chef decided, shaking his head sadly. "I really thought you maggots had it given your start."
"It was probably just nerves, Mr. Chef," Owen said politely.
"I dunno, big guy," Jasmine tsked. "Somethin' ain't normal with the timing of that sneeze."
"You wish to check if it was a real sneeze?" Josee asked flatly, raising her sleeve as if to demonstrate the snot stains on it.
Jasmine recoiled. "No thank you."
Score:
Truth: 6 + 8 + 5 + 10 + 4 + 4 = 37
Lie: 9 + 3 + 5 + 8 + 1 + 1 = 27
"And just like that, Truth secures a full ten-point lead over Lie!" Chris declared. "Their advantage? Well, let's head over to Mount McLean and find out! After these messages, of course!"
"He's changed it," Harold commented from somewhere offscreen.
"Dude, really?" Chris snarked.
Do da do da doo. Commercial break!
"And we're back!" Chris announced to the audience. The contestants were now at the base of Mount McLean, which Chris had since had covered in a thick, textured turf so its artificial nature would be less obvious; the mountain had also been widened by a fair amount, to the point where it was more than easy enough to simply walk up it. "Mount McLean's got a new 'do, and our second challenge for today is going to break it in!
"You see, in Chinese mythology there's a mythical mountain called Kunlun, where all sorts of mythological shenanigans took place. Like Olympus but further east. One famous myth is that of Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, who got angry at the gods for making fun of him and stole & ate their immortality-granting peaches so he could beat them up."
"Well, THAT'S an oversimplification," Emma grunted.
"You will be reenacting part of that myth today!" Chris continued, ignoring her. "Each of you will be climbing up Mount McLean to reach the crate of peaches at the top. Bring them down and place them into these two trays marked for your teams. [cut to two 7x7 cardboard trays, one green and one yellow] The first team to forty-nine will win the challenge!"
"Why forty-nine?" Carrie asked.
"When Sun Wukong was finally caught the gods put him into a crucible to distill him into an elixir so they could get their immortality pills, which he'd also stolen and eaten, back. They left him in there for forty-nine days, but when they went back to check on him they discovered that he'd survived and gotten even stronger," Scarlett explained.
"Wow, that sounds like a wild bedtime story," DJ said in awe.
"It was," Emma agreed.
"ANYwho," Chris interrupted, "The Monkey King will be patrolling the mountain looking for peaches, and he'll do his best to take them from you. If you lose a peach on the way down, you'll have to go all the way back to the summit to replace it. Since Truth won the previous challenge they'll be allowed to take two peaches at a time; Lie, you lost, so you're only allowed to take one per person. Peaches that someone else has dropped on the ground can be taken. Oh, and you should probably be careful about how many people you have on the mountain at the same time. Good luck!"
Truth
"Okay, no monkeys so far," Jasmine said as she and Brick took two Water Honey peaches from the massive crate at the top of the mountain. "But that just means he'll be loosing it when we're coming down."
"What do you think he's using for the monkey?" Brick asked. "Because I was expecting it would be one of the robot monkeys from last time, but on the other hand Chris might just be using them for like, the Monkey King's soldiers and stuff."
"Meaning the king himself might be something far stronger," Jasmine muttered. "But why would Chris go through all the trouble of getting robot monkeys if he's not going to use them again?"
Halfway down the mountain, they got their answer. Sasquatchanakwa, a metal chain around his midsection, walked into view. Spying the peaches, the beast licked his lips hungrily.
"BLIMEY!" Jasmine exclaimed. "Book it, Brick!"
"Don't have to tell ME twice!" Brick yelped, hightailing it down with her.
At the bottom of the mountain, they deposited their peaches at the same time Leshawna, Jo, and Ennui deposited their own. "Chris, there's a bloody Bigfoot on the mountain!"
"I'm aware," Chris said casually as he inspected the peaches. "Not bad, Truth, you've maintained your lead over Lie."
"What do you mean 'you're aware'?!" she shouted, catching his attention.
"He's been lumping around the island since September, making messes in some of the areas we use for challenges and occasionally swiping food. We finally caught him last week when he tried to hide in the boat shed, and I decided to stick him here as your Monkey King. Don't worry, his chain's not long enough for him to come down here or go up to the summit. But anywho, kids, it's been long overdue, but it's high time that you highfaring hooligans met our very own Sasquatchanawka!" Those who had not yet climbed the mountain gulped...well, some of them did.
Confessional – Cody.
"Back after the Empty Soldier challenge, Cameron confirmed that the purple monkey-man who surprised me and Deej in the showers really did exist," Cody explained. "He says he thinks the thing might've been an intern. If so," he winced, "poor guy."
Score:
Truth: 4/49
Lie: 3/49
For the next forty-five minutes the challenge proceeded rather uneventfully. Sasquatchanakwa would lunge at the kids, occasionally getting them to drop a peach or two, but never managing to free himself from his chain. Tyler seemed to be the most frequent victim of startling, even when the ape had done so to him five times.
"I can't believe he still falls for it," Jo griped to Sky as they watched Tyler scream the fifth time and dropped yet another peach that the ape swiped hungrily. "Dude's becoming a liability."
"Tyler's always been a little...high-strung," Sky admitted, "but we've got bigger problems on the team than him. Jacques and Josee tricked Jen and Eva last challenge so that Eva could get voted off, and I'm afraid they'll start trying other stuff."
"Why would they?" Jo asked. "They're plenty strong competitors as it is."
"Because they want to know for certain that they'll stay in the game. Trust me on this, I've tangled with them before."
Far above them, Josee was walking down the mountain with a peach in her hand. Sasquatchanakwa wasn't going after the kids as much anymore, having eaten enough fruit to stop feeling so hungry. As such, his back was turned to her while she found the spot where Tyler frequently ended up standing. There was an intact, albeit bruised, peach on the ground. Josee brought her left foot up and stomped on it.
Confessional – Josee.
"This had better not stain," Josee frowned as she scrubbed pulp off her white boot so she wouldn't get caught.
Score:
Truth: 27/49
Lie: 18/49
Twenty minutes later
Tyler panted as he dragged himself onto Lie's crate for the seventh time that day. "Whoo boy...so much...summitting..."
"Maybe you should be the Monkey King, Ty-ty," Lindsay said as she and Noah casually walked up to their own crate. "You're climbing like one, at least."
"I appreciate the thought, Linds, but right now I just wanna be...king of the naps. Whew."
Lindsay shrugged and inspected Truth's crate. "Are these organic?" she asked Noah.
"Can't tell, Chris took the stickers off," Noah quipped. "Oh, don't forget we on Truth can get two peaches at a time." Lindsay obediently got two peaches and trotted down the hill. "You good?" he asked Tyler.
"Just gotta stop the burning in my lungs," Tyler wheezed. "Thanks for helping Linds, by the way. She's gotten so far at school now that she's actually getting the help that she needs, but sometimes she just needs a little extra push. Anyway, who d'you think you're gonna vote for?"
"I'm not sure, most of the people on my team are either in our alliance or allied with it," Noah said as they began their descent. "But if I had to pick? Jen. The way Jacques and Josee used her last time to get Eva out...I don't want her to get used like that a second time. Or a third. But seeing how much bigger my team's lead is we probably won't be up for elimination this time."
"Yeah..." Tyler slumped. "I'm worried, bro. I think...I think this might be it for me. Jacques and Josee are no doubt out to get me, and I bet Taylor and Jo want me out too. And who else would vote for Josee? I want her gone first because Jacques is at least..."
"Not liable to bite your head off?"
"Yeah, that."
Noah frowned in thought. "Given Taylor's earlier screw-up she's probably getting some votes for her tonight, so you'd need to get at least five votes for Josee to guarantee your safety. Emma and MacArthur would absolutely vote with you, Ella might be more willing to vote now too, and I think Justin could be convinced to go along with it, but Ennui and Crimson...those two are wild cards. They've voted for Misfits and for this show's antagonists equally well. Convincing them to vote with you...not sure what angle you'd need with them."
"If you're not sure, I've got my work cut out for me," the Klutzy Jock gulped.
Confessional – Lindsay.
"Poor Tyler," Lindsay sighed. "Today's been like, so unfair to him. And he only, like, just got back from something unfair." She tsked in disapproval. "Am I sure the monkey king is the giant purple guy? Because something tells me there's a much bigger monkey making this show."
Confessional – MacArthur.
"That might just be the most poetic thing Lindsay's ever said," MacArthur said in awe before frowning. "She's completely right, though, Chris is more of a monkey than a man...and he sure does monkey around with the rules a lot..."
By now, Sasquatchanakwa's stomach was full and he thus had no desire to steal any more peaches. But he was still able to scare Tyler, doing so with a disgusting belch. "GYIPE!" Tyler screamed, stumbling backward.
As he stumbled, he stepped right onto the patch of pulp that Josee had left for him. His shoes, caked in several layers of semi-frozen muck and turf picked up from his constant climbing, gave out from under him. With a yell, Tyler was sent careening down Mount McLean and slammed chestfirst into his team's tray, jostling it hard enough for ten of their peaches to fall out and hit the ground.
"TYLER!" Jo scolded. "Look what you did!"
"I'm not sure he can, I think he's got a concussion!" Jasmine hollered back, rushing over and inspecting Tyler's eyes. "Nope, nevermind, but he's still out cold!"
"Uh...Chris, can we...put those back?" Emma asked, indicating the fallen peaches right as Noah rushed over, deposited his peaches into his team's tray, and rushed over to help Jasmine pick Tyler up.
"No can do, Lie," Chris shook his head. "You can only pick up peaches dropped on the mountain. Dropped on the ground itself, stays on the ground itself."
"Since when was THAT a rule?!" MacArthur exclaimed.
"Since always! 'Snot my fault you kiddies never pay attention to the fine print."
"This is just–" Taylor began.
"'Peachy', as you Englishmen say, would not be the right word to use here," Josee grimaced. "I will go and replace the fruit, Chris."
"As will I," Jacques agreed, following his girlfriend back onto the mountain. "At least some of us are reliable," he hissed at Tyler as the latter regained consciousness.
"–BOGUS!" Taylor finished. "Nice going, Tyler! Now we're going to lose! Not like YOU losers ever helped!" she snapped, whirling around to point accusingly at Sky, Justin, and Leshawna.
"Excuse me?!" Leshawna snarled. "I went up there one time and I had trouble gettin' past the ape-man! Weren't safe for me!"
"And who do you think got half the peaches for our team? US!" Justin bellowed.
"Count on my vote tonight, Taylor, I've made up my mind," Sky said sternly. "You're a liability and a constant pain in the [a word]. You're Heather without the brainpower. Now do something useful for our team AND GET THE [F WORD] UP CHRIS' STUPID MOUNTAIN!"
Taylor, frightened by Sky's outburst, hastily obliged.
"You called my mountain stupid, Sky," Chris tsked, snatching a peach from their tray. "Gonna hafta dock your team a point for that." He bit into the fruit and recoiled. "Augh! It's cold and hard!"
"Like your heart, I presume?" Crimson droned.
"Well, yeah, mushy and warm is gross."
Confessional – Taylor.
"'Heather without the brainpower, Heather without the brainpower'," Taylor said in a mocking voice while she made air quotes. "Well, if I'm so stupid why did I point at you three? With thirteen people on our team today the Misfits could get either Jacques or Josee out of the way with seven votes. So by directing three votes towards me, the Ice Dancers'll only get four for them, three if Smella doesn't vote tonight." She smirked evilly. "With Heather gone, now it's my turn to be the bad girl."
Score:
Truth: 41/49
Lie: 15/49
Twenty minutes later
Carrie and Sammy deposited the last four peaches for Truth and wearily high-fived. "And as we completely and totally predicted, Truth won with all forty-nine peaches! Meanwhile, Lie loses with only twenty-two thanks to Tyler's fail-larious fall! Meet me at the campfire at eight, Lie, it's time to vote someone out!" Sky, Justin, and Leshawna glared at Taylor, while Jacques and Josee looked approvingly at her. Noah and Emma exchanged a worried look.
Confessional – Sky.
"Chris is so unfair!" Sky growled as she wrote TAYLOR on a piece of paper. "I mean, sure, we probably weren't going to win anyway, but taking off a point because I made fun of his mountain?!" She huffed. "I sure hope I don't get voted off for that."
Confessional – Jo.
"Sorry, Tyler, but after that thing with the peaches I just know I can't keep you around," Jo grumbled as she wrote TYLER on a piece of paper.
Confessional – Ella.
"Normally I wouldn't, but Emma said that Jacques and Josee are up to less good than ever before," Ella explained as she wrote JOSEE on a piece of paper. "We need to break up their power, and every vote counts for that."
Confessional – Tyler.
He gulped. "Well, I think we all know where this is goin'." He wrote JOSEE on a piece of paper.
"Here's how we do eliminations," Chris said. "We use the marshmallow system here. When I call your name, come get one." Three frozen-looking marshmallows were colored; the other ten were not. "The marshmallows are color-coded to show how many votes you got because it gives a little extra style to our drama. White means no votes against you, and the recipients are Crimson, Ella, Justin, Emma, MacArthur, Ennui, Sky, Jacques, Jo, and Leshawna."
MacArthur tried to eat her marshmallow. "Hey, it's crunchy!" she discovered.
"Yeah, they've been sitting out here for like, an hour. Try not to lose a tooth, kiddies. Anywho, any-blue means you received only one vote against you. None today."
"Which means that you've wasted that couplet," Ennui said monotonously.
"It's not a waste if it gets you guys annoyed. Green means you got more than one vote, but are still safe. Taylor, you have three votes against you." Sky, Justin, and Leshawna exchanged a worried look as Taylor, uncharacteristically calmly, got her marshmallow.
Two colored marshmallows remained. "Orange means you're on the chopping block, and red means you're out. Tyler. Josee."
Just like the last episode, Tyler gulped while Josee grinned evilly.
"Tyler, your constant failures have gotten on everybody elses nerves. Josee, your incredible persistence in this game has annoyed a few people. And with two votes more..."
...
...
...
...
"Tyler! You're OUTTA HERE!"
Team E-Scope
"So you voted?" Emma asked.
Ella nodded tearfully. "B-but it didn't do enough."
"Why couldn't we convince Justin, Sky, and Leshawna to vote with us?" MacArthur asked incredulously. "I get the goths, but why not them?"
"Because Taylor insulted them and their emotions got the better of them, so convincing them to vote for Josee instead would've been effectively impossible under these circumstances," Noah explained. "I think it was deliberate on Taylor's part to draw votes away from Josee. Man, I certainly hope another alliance isn't starting to form."
"Yeah, the Ice Dancers are steppin' up their game," Tyler remarked as he finished packing his bags. "Ah well, I had a good run when I did, and I'm not sure I could take another injury anyway. Keep chuggin', guys."
"We'll chug our hardest!" Owen promised.
"I'll miss you, Tyler," Lindsay said mournfully. Then her eyes grew determined. "But I'll fight! For you, and for all the other unpopular kids! That's my honor as a Misfit!"
"And you have lotsa honor," Tyler grinned. He kissed his girlfriend one last time before heading to the boat.
Confessional – Leshawna.
Leshawna groaned. "I messed up again! Agh, I wish I could keep this temper a' mine under control. Then it'd be easier to not make snap judgements like this one."
"Looks like competitive exclusion kept Taylor from showing her true might!" Chris stood in front of Mount McLean. "Let's see how else she'll shake things up! Fifty-eight down once again. Twenty-six remain once again. Who'll find a win before time and who won't? Find out on
"Total.
"Drama!"
He took a step forward and stepped in some peach pulp. "AAAAAAAAAAH! MY NEW WINTER BOOTS!"
Votes:
Ella – Josee
Emma – Josee
Justin – Taylor
Ennui – Tyler
Crimson – Tyler
Taylor – Tyler
MacArthur – Josee
Leshawna – Taylor
Jo – Tyler
Sky – Taylor
Tyler – Josee
Jacques – Tyler
Josee – Tyler
Results: 6-4-3 Tyler-Josee-Taylor
Eliminated: Staci, Leonard, Tammy, Leshaniqua, Spud, Chet, Dakota (ii), Phil (r), Ellody, Rock, Rodney (t), Anne Maria, Mickey, Jazz (r), Max, Mary, Junior, Zeke (t), Beth, Brody, Scott, Lauren, Brady, Lorenzo, Katie, Trent, Kitty (t), Gwen, Dave (ii), Courtney, Tom, Dawn (t), Izzy (r), Jay, Lightning, Stephanie, Cameron (nj), Ryan, B, Mike (q), Duncan, Amy, Topher, Sadie, Laurie, Bridgette, Sanders, Sierra, Shawn (r), Sam, Heather, Miles, Zoey, Geoff (t), Alejandro, Sugar, Eva, Tyler
Known active immunity idols: Josee (Crimson), Justin (Ella)
Bonus clip:
"Okay, big guy, let's get you back to...wherever it was you lived," Kathy said as she and Joseph led Sasquatchanakwa away. The ape-man pointed to the interns' cabin. "Uh...what?"
"Wait a minute...his eyes...I recognized his eyes when I was looking over the footage from this afternoon." Joseph squinted at the purple beast's eyes. "...holy heck, Josh?! Is that you, man?!"
Sasquatchanakwa nodded yes.
Josesph and Kathy exchanged a worried look. "This island is dangerous," Kathy finished.
"We need to get off it before one of the kids ends up like Josh," Joseph agreed. "And on that note, we need to get Josh medical attention. Whatever mutated him might've given him tumors." The three of them ran off to the medical area.