Steve and Robin were moving through another new train car. Like Godzillas, they towered above a small bustling city. The buildings were made from what looked like hamburger and hotdog buns.
"So our numbers have to reach zero and moving through cars or solving puzzles does nothing." Steve said. "Then what is it?"
Robin was starting to spiral. The day prior all of this felt new and interesting. Of course it was also really really bad, but it hadn't been the worst adventure they'd embarked on. Still, the time it was taking to figure out what the train rules were, let alone execute them, was alarming.
"At this rate we'll be living here and signing a lease and I don't think I have enough money to pay space rent, Steve. We work at a video store! And we didn't even get our last Scoops' pay cheque because of the KGB and a freaking human goo monster and—." She rambled.
"Alright! Alright!" Steve cut her off. "I'm sure we'll find a way out of here. And get back to our shitty video store job." He reassured her. Deep in thought, he squinted and turned to her. "Don't say human goo. That's disgusting." He pointed his finger and turned back to the road ahead.
"It was human GOO, Steve!" She chased after him. "I don't know how you can just be over that already. I think I've had at least a dozen nightmares about it."
"I try not to think about it." Steve said, still keeping quite a pace.
"Sometimes we need to talk about our traumas!" Robin shouted. The number on her hand flashed and moved down, but the pair was too distracted to notice.
"You should really talk to Henderson. He'd probably nerd out about it with you." Steve said. He rubbed the wound on his arm. It was a little sore but nothing he couldn't manage.
Robin took notice. "How's the bite?" She asked. "You're not gonna get werewolf rabies now, right?"
"Well, I lucked out with the supernatural bats. I think I'll be fine." He pulled down his sleeve and peaked out around one of the buildings.
There were two denizens that looked angry.
Oh great, Steve thought.
It was a ketchup and mustard bottle arguing in the middle of the street.
Although he was annoyed, Steve was relieved at their lack of pointy teeth and small stature.
"This is your fault!" Shouted Ketchup.
They started to hit and slap each other.
Many other condiments, both in bags and bottles, gathered to watch the fight. The bottles were surrounded by banners, balloons, and parade floats. They had paused the hanging of decorations due to the commotion.
"You've gotta help us!" A jar of relish ran up to Steve and Robin. "If they don't stop arguing the Saucemony can't happen!"
"Oh for the love of—." Steve mumbled to himself. "Do you want to take Ketchup and I'll take Mustard?" He asked Robin. Let's get this over with.
Robin walked Ketchup across the street so they could speak in private.
The two groups stayed in their areas and talked for a while, while the townsfolk resumed their decorating.
"So Relish was micromanaging you?" Robin asked. She was trying to get the story straight.
"Yes." Ketchup responded. "I told Mustard not to talk to him but he didn't listen and it got me demoted." The bottle boiled in anger.
On the other side of the street, Steve was crouched beside Mustard. "Ketchup really said that to you?" He asked Mustard in disbelief.
Mustard nodded his tiny body. "I told her Relish would only get worse. She wouldn't do anything about it, so I did."
The pairs regrouped in the street where Robin and Steve intended to mediate.
"Okay we've decided Ketchup should apologize." Steve said, crossing his arms.
"Um no. Mustard should totally be the one to apologize." Robin replied.
Ketchup and Mustard stood facing each other. Their fiery stares were enough to melt the snow off an arctic mountain.
"Are you kidding me?" Steve put his hands on his head. "Mustard was clearly just trying to help." He gestured to the yellow bottle.
Robin pointed to Ketchup. "But Ketchup didn't ask for that and just made everything worse."
"Well, Ketchup shouldn't let people walk all over her." Steve looked at Robin.
Robin turned to face Steve. "Maybe he doesn't have all the facts."
Ketchup and Mustard stood back and watched the two bicker.
FWWWIIP FWIP FWIP FWIP. Both of their numbers became erratic, zipping upward in a speedy climb.
"All I'm saying is Ketchup will only be more miserable if she doesn't sort out the— the—." Steve snapped his fingers. "Saucemony."
"And maybe Mustard should focus on his own problems." Robin said with tone.
A similar thought popped into the both of their heads. After a brief pause, they suddenly looked to the green jar who was quietly sneaking away.
"Relish should apologize." They said in unison.
"Problem solved!" Steve clapped. "Let's get out of here." He waved to the condiments and walked to the door.
Robin followed behind, glancing at the unhappy condiment village as she passed. There was something gnawing at the back of her mind. She couldn't quite tell what it was, but was starting to recall.
"Steve." Robin said. The sudden anger in her voice took her aback.
"What?" Steve turned around.
"Never mind." She shook the thought away.
A loud and roaring growl erupted from behind them. It drew the attention of everything around and caused the denizens to scatter in a frenzy.
Trying to figure out what was going on, the pair from Hawkins looked all around.
THUMP! THUMP! The ground shook. THUMP! THUMP! It wasn't an earthquake, but something that made giant footsteps.
A creature made entirely out of raw, wet, and squishy cow and pig meat had appeared before them. It loomed above the whole town, including the passengers.
"HRRK." Robin almost hurled at the sight of it.
"How are you going to vomit over cow goo and not human goo?" Steve judged, eyes wide.
The both of them shot off like a bullet, booking it to the door. No weapons. No big enough places to hide. If they couldn't manage this escape, they were screwed.
THUMP! The meat monster slammed its foot in front of the door, causing them to fall back. Meat had been flung all over.
Steve noticed Relish hiding behind a building made of buns and made a break for him.
"Why is that thing trying to kill us?!" He yelled, grabbing the jar and bringing it close to his face.
"It thinks you're gonna eat him." Relish replied.
Robin caught up to them. Hearing what he had said, she looked up at the grotesque monster. "Would you change your mind if I said I was a vegetarian?" She said loudly to the monster.
"Are you?" Steve asked with a confused look on his face.
"No, but he doesn't know that." She whispered, pointing at the meat monster.
The monster screeched and threw his fist toward them. It detached from his body.
The three of them jumped out of the way as the fist collided with a few buildings.
The beast lowered his arm and reabsorbed the meat, but left little bits everywhere.
Robin took notice and realized she had seen something similar to it before.
"Remember that time Dustin yelled at you for spilling coke all over his things?" She asked.
"You'll have to be more specific." Steve replied.
"It was the comic with the mud monster." Said Robin.
"Mud Man! Mud Man?" Steve snapped his fingers, then questioned himself.
Robin continued. "Remember all the ink was smudged and he said, 'you diluted Clayface-
Steve nodded along, deep in thought.
"—before Batman had a chance to, you son of a bitch!" She finished.
"Yeah, he was pretty pissed at me for that one." He recalled.
Robin turned to Relish. "Do you have a large body of water?" She asked.
"We have Grease Lake." He pointed to the west.
To the west was a large amount of brown liquid. Instead of water it was a body of stinky grease that bubbled at the surface.
Without a second thought, she ran in the direction of the giant lake. She jumped and waved her arms at the monster to get it to follow.
The creature moved toward her, slowly stretching out its body with each step.
"How are we getting it in the lake?" Steve asked, running up beside her.
"There's the slight possibility I hadn't thought that far." Robin admitted. Of course, it was a great idea but jumping straight from idea to plan wasn't always the easiest.
The meat monster threw itself at them. This time they were too slow to dodge and met the full force of its strength. It slammed into them in a flood of raw ground beef.
Of course the initial pain from the blow didn't help, but the sea of hamburger they found themselves in was too thick to jump out of. It was a struggle to push their whole bodies out of, let alone lift a finger. The meat quickly washed over them and the pair gasped their last breath. Oxygen was quickly running out.
A figure wearing a grey hoodie appeared. It was a young man, not that much older than them, who wore a skull and crossbones bandana over his forehead. He had various weapons which included a weird looking gun strapped to his back and a big sword he currently wielded.
The man slashed through one of the meat monster's limbs.
The severed limb collapsed into the lake and dispersed in the liquid.
Trying to keep its balance, the monster grew a new leg but in turn caused it to shrink in stature. It still swung at full force, now even more agitated than before. Throwing left fists then right fists then left fists at him, it tried to squash the man.
But he narrowly dodged each one.
The attack had taken the focus off Robin and Steve, saving them from a slow death by suffocation.
Once the man could see they were freed, he ran in the direction of the door.
"Come on!" He shouted, flashing his hand which prominently displayed a number.
The pair followed. They ran toward the next train car while the hooded man slid to a stop behind them. With his sword pointed out at the ruthless beast, he was ready to play defence.
The monster shifted its body into a giant ball and barrelled toward the man, but he sliced it in half in one fell swoop. Now lowering his sword, he watched the meat slowly pull itself back together.
The man reached at the gun strapped to his back. There was an orb at the centre of it that started to glow.
ZAP! He shot the creature.
The monster paused for a moment.
It had begun to split open. Meat parted and moved but not in its usual way, but in a way that looked unnatural to the beast. From the opening, a large antenna shot out from it.
The denizen morphed and pulled itself back together into a black, roach-like form. The new creature that had taken its place was the size of a large dog but had wings like an aphid.
The man slammed the door behind him as the beast let out an ear piercing screech.
The three passengers sat around a small campfire under the moonlight.
This car was not too unlike the werewolf one, but it contained more harmless denizens like walking compasses, lanterns and pinecones that dressed like scouts.
Robin and Steve were both soaking wet and drying off by the fire. They sat next to the man who had saved their lives and had introduced himself as "Alfie".
"Do you think you can get salmonella this way?" Robin said as she picked some stray pieces of meat from her hair.
"So what are you in for?" Asked Alfie, ignoring her question.
"What are you talking about?" Steve sat forward.
"So this is like a big prison?" Robin asked. It was a theory that could make sense but what would she have possibly done to upset the cosmos enough to incarcerate her in a trippy prison on wheels? And what was Steve's crime? Too much hair product?
"Sorta." Alfie pondered. "When I got here this robot thing told us we had to work out our problems or some crap before we could leave."
"We don't have problems." Steve and Robin said at the same time. They looked away from each other awkwardly. Both were a little embarrassed by how fast the words came tumbling out.
"That's what I told him!" Alfie laughed. "I heard that little guy recently got the axe anyway. Any of his rules could be gone by now." He threw more wood into the fire.
"I hope whoever did it can get us out of here." Steve said.
"If you want to get out, yeah." Alfie replied.
Even if the train was under new management, Steve didn't feel there was any time to wait around, especially if the new person was somehow worse. The sooner they could get out of here, the better.
Alfie removed his hoodie. Like a tattoo sleeve, his whole arm was covered in green numbers.
Robin tugged on Steve's jacket silently. She was worried this guy, albeit friendly, was bad news.
Steve subtly nodded at Robin. "Thanks for the save." He stood up suddenly.
"Yeah, we better keep moving." Robin followed.
"Wait." Alfie said. "I've got food back home if you're hungry."
Steve opened his mouth to talk but Robin cut him off.
"We just need a moment." She dragged Steve along.
Alfie gave them a thumbs up and turned back to the fire.
"I don't know if we should trust this guy." Robin whispered. "Did you see his number? It's like REALLY high. I didn't even know it could go that far up your arm." She shuddered.
"Yeah, but are we sure that's a bad thing? I know what the werewolves said but they also tried to eat us." Steve whispered.
Robin glanced over at Alfie who cracked them a quick smile. "I don't know if I want to find out." She turned back to Steve.
"Do we have a choice? We're going to need to eat sometime." Steve reasoned.
It was a difficult situation but what were the options?
A) Run and hope you find something or
B) Get the food you know Alfie has and bail.
He definitely wasn't going to barbecue rats or eat anything that could talk. That much was certain.
"Fine but I'm walking behind you guys in case he tries anything." Robin said.
They looked over to Alfie.
"We're coming." Steve called out to him.
"Great." Alfie's lips curled into a smile. "It's good to make some friends around here."