Kalika wracked her brain for the whole morning in between healing patients at the hospital. She was forced to admit defeat. "I need to go," she told the head nurse as midday approached.

"No problem. You've been a real help," the head nurse replied. "It's nice to have you here at the hospital, but when are you going to reopen your spiritual healing practice?"

"As soon as I'm done with this one patient. It's a really challenging case." Kalika waved reassuringly and left the hospital. She took a deep breath and touched her beads to recenter herself. Then she went to Yagoda's hut.

Yagoda didn't have lessons every single day. She had to make time for the more intense one on one training of promising older students, and her girls had to help their families with chores. Kalika found her in her hut having a midday tea. "Kalika! What brings you here?" the old woman greeted. "Come, sit." She handed Kalika a cup of tea.

"I need advice," Kalika admitted. "I've run into a situation I didn't think I would face so early. I'm sure you've experienced it."

"Tell me about it. I will do my best to help."

Kalika took a sip of her tea first. The warmth of it brought her strength. "I remind a patient of his mother, and I seem to be taking on a similar role."

Yagoda looked visibly startled. She chuckled nervously. "Just remind him that you're not his mother; you're only there to fix his boo-boos."

"He's not a young child," Kalika said. "He grew up in a family dynamic that was centered around expectations. He always had to be trying harder and harder to meet someone's demands of him. The only person who ever let him relax and be himself was his mother." Kalika stood up and began to pace. "In order to be a good doctor, I have to treat him with kindness and decency and let him find his own way. With his background, that means I can't not remind him of his mother. It sounds wrong to have a patient see me that way, but is it? I'm not doing anything wrong. And his mother died when he was very young; he never learned a lot of basic things, including the entire concept of self-care. In order to treat him, I'm going to have to take on that role of someone who models life skills for him to imitate. Is that inappropriate? It sounds so at first, but he has nobody in his life who can model those things except me." She forced herself to a stop and sat down. "What do you think?"

"Hmm." Yagoda sipped her tea. Kalika did likewise. Only after a while, when she finished her tea, did Yagoda reply. "It sounds like his idea of his mother is tied to a hundred other ideas. I don't think you actually remind him of his mother. He might say you do, but he doesn't have the right words to express the truth."

Kalika rephrased what Yagoda said in an effort to make sure she understood it correctly. "I remind him of patience and kindness and rest. He hasn't seen those things outside of his mother, so he talks about them and about his mother as if they're the same thing."

Yagoda nodded.

"That explains why I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. The only thing bothering me was the word, 'mother.' Without that word, his actual expectations of me aren't inappropriate at all." Kalika thumped her fist into her other hand. "I've got it! Thank you."

"You're welcome," Yagoda replied. "And I must say, I haven't encountered a patient who actually expected me to be like a mother to them more than twice, even at my age."

"That's reassuring to hear."

"Stay for a while," Yagoda said. "I don't have anywhere to be, and it's good to see you again. Unless you have somewhere to be?"

"No, not at all. I can spare a few minutes."

Yagoda got up to put on lunch to heat over the fire. When she returned, she asked if Kalika had heard the news about one of her childhood friends. "He finally proposed! You remember that girl he was always teasing?"

Kalika laughed. "It's about time!" She asked if a frequent patient of Yagoda's had finally given in to reality and spent the money to get a new coat.

Yagoda shook her head. "The poor thing is so patched, I don't think you can call it the same coat anymore."

"It's not good to be too stingy."

"How is your brother?"

"He's still having some trouble with his waterbending. He's working on it."

Yagoda checked the soup. She gasped, her face lighting up. "Oh, I just remembered! Have you seen Katara since the hospital?"

"I have. What's going on?"

"Have you seen her necklace?"

Kalika's eyes widened. Now that she was asked about it, she could remember seeing a glimpse of blue around Katara's neck. "No way! She's engaged? To who?"

"Oh… I was hoping you could tell me that." Yagoda sighed.

"I'll see them later today. I'll find out for you," Kalika promised. "Speaking of, I have plans to make. It was nice catching up. Tell him to tell me when the wedding is. I have to be there to tell embarrassing stories about when we were kids."

"I will. Good luck!"

.

Riri found Maika and her husband outside, looking at the exterior furnace pipe. "Maika! I need to talk to you. It's important."

Maika frowned at her. "Are you sure it can't wait?" Riri made it emphatically clear that no, it could not. Maika led her inside. "What's wrong? Are you nervous about that boy?"

"No," Riri said. "He…he said so many things, my head is spinning. I need a second." She took several deep breaths. After the last one, she opened her eyes. "I was right! He wasn't waterbending. He's a spiritbender! He bends spirits, and he's friends with water spirits, which is how he walked across the water. A water spirit must have helped him. He talked to fire, and he's also friends with air, and he's been going around the world learning about spirits, and -"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down!" Maika shook her head. "He bends spirits?"

Riri nodded. "He's been leaving the city in order to train with a water spirit. The spirits have been teaching him how to bend them!"

"He's friends with them? Like, actual friends?"

Riri nodded. "He talked to a fire right in front of me. He told it not to burn my hair, and it went like this -" She put her hands together palm to palm, then tilted them to the side. "- until he said it could relax."

Maika put a hand to her head. "He's…going around the world?"

Riri nodded. "The people back where he lives hate spirits, so he had to leave in order to talk to them openly and learn things from them."

"What - what is he? Why do spirits talk to him?"

Riri blinked. "I don't know. He just said they did. I don't think he knows."

Maika shook her head slowly. "Um, I take it this means everything went well?"

"Yes, but also no," Riri said. "It went well, but not in the way I wanted. He was happy to meet someone who really wanted to know about spirits, but he doesn't see me in a romantic way." She sniffled.

"Oh, Riri. I'm sorry."

"No, he said some things…" Riri trailed off. "I can't tell you what he said. I need to think." Her brow furrowed. "I'm sorry I interrupted you and your husband. I thought I wanted to talk about it, but I can't. Sorry!" She got up and ran out.

Maika went back outside, but she was no help to her husband. Her mind was a blur. The only thing she knew for sure was that this was too important to keep a secret. Someone who could bend spirits and talk to them must be very, very important! People had to know. "I'm sorry. Riri told me something that's making my head spin," she told her husband.

"Good or bad spinning?" he asked.

"That boy with the scar, who she's been so interested in lately, can talk to and bend spirits."

Her husband's eyes widened. "Bend spirits?"

Maika nodded. "There's more, but I want you to fix our chimney before the next blizzard blows in." She kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck!"

She left her house around early lunchtime. By mid-afternoon, a third of the female population of the city had heard the news. "Have you heard about the guy with the scar over his eye? He can bend spirits!" one girl whispered to another while shopping.

"That's crazy. Nobody can do that." The girl that was told shook her head in disbelief. She left the market, looked both ways, and went to a friend's house. Said friend was outside, sweeping the last of the new-fallen snow away from her house. "Hey, have you heard about the guy with a scar over his eye? He's a spiritbender!"

A gust of wind blew as she said this. A man making his way down to help the hunters, who had finally returned, unload their catch and get it to market heard, "...the guy with a scar over his eye? He's a spirit…" His eyes bulged. He picked up his pace until he was nearly running. There was a spirit in the city? He'd better tell them!

.

"You want me to end training early?" Zuko looked up at the water dragon. "Why?"

The water spirit used its barbels to trace a rough outline of a circle, ( ), in the air. This was the sign for people. It pointed up at the trail of flags beyond the ridge. "Good idea," Zuko said with a nod. "Let's wait for them to pass."

While waiting, he checked on the condition of his spirit. He'd been training for a while. It felt subtly strained. When the hunters finally passed and the water spirit signed No people, he decided to just go for lunch. He followed the hunters down the tunnel at a careful distance, making sure they did not see him. He slipped out of the exit and went to find the diner Iroh had taken him to.

Iroh was playing Pai Sho with some stranger, and having a great time of it. Of course! How did I forget? I can use Pai Sho to avoid Uncle's lectures! Zuko went up to them. "Uncle?"

Iroh looked up, a big smile spreading on his face. "Yes, Nephew?"

"I'm sorry for yelling at your friends yesterday," Zuko said. "He didn't know what I wanted. It wasn't his fault he couldn't tell me anything. And it was nice of Master Pakku to bring him."

"I'll pass along the message," Iroh promised.

"Thanks. Enjoy your game." Zuko turned and left. He paused outside the diner and looked back. The doorway swished closed behind him. What happened? He used to support me. I used to be able to rely on him. Every talk used to be just like this one was. But now he's decided that I can't be trusted and I don't know how to do anything correctly, that he's more qualified to steer my life than I am. Zuko turned away and began to walk. Maybe he's right. I've made such a mess of everything lately. I should just do what he says. Why can't I?

He went back to their lodgings and ate the remains of his dinner from the night before. It was cold and congealed. He ate it anyway.

.

That night, Pakku realized the Avatar had unknowingly done him a favor. Now that the boy was his student again, Pakku could go up to the palace on the pretext of giving the king updates on his progress. He would have to do more work to find and spy on Ola and Tarao, but at least he had an excuse that would get him in the door.

Pakku walked up the steps as grumpily as he could. "Thank you," he told the guards as they pulled aside their weapons to let him pass. He walked inside with a sigh.

The king was speaking with another advisor inside, an old woman. He looked up as Pakku entered. "Thank you for your input," he told the woman. "I will consider it. If you think of anything else, see me again tomorrow." She bowed to him and left. Pakku stood in her place. "I heard that the Avatar was training with you again," the king said.

"Yes," Pakku said. "He received some advice that helped him reconsider his relationship with the elements. He no longer treats the water like his enemy."

The king smiled. "He is making progress again?" Pakku nodded. "Good." The king waved a hand, indicating a change of topic. "How are your plans for retirement going?"

Pakku realized he'd been so busy worrying about Zuko that he'd completely forgotten. "I've been deciding on the ideal apprentice." He realized after saying it that he was actually telling the truth. If he had picked an apprentice before now, he would have missed a crucial component: they had to understand and be able to replicate Zuko's lessons. The other two boys had made leaps in progress equivalent to the Avatar's immediately after hearing the lesson. Pakku had no idea why, but his students understood Zuko's lessons much better than they understood his. He had to take advantage of it.

"Good to hear. You can't leave such an important position to just anyone." The king stretched in his seat. "Do you have anything else to report?"

"No," Pakku said.

"I look forward to seeing you tomorrow, then." The king came down and stood on the floor. "Ah, sitting in these meetings is starting to hurt my back."

"You're not as young as you used to be."

The king leaned backward, eliciting some sounds from his lower back. "Don't I know it. Oh, I just remembered." He leaned in. "Have you heard the latest palace gossip?"

Pakku huffed. "You know my answer to that."

"I promise, no schoolgirl drama," the king promised. "Someone found Ola and Tarao having a secret discussion. They later admitted that, knowing my increasing responsibilities with seeing my daughter married, they wanted to take some burdens off my shoulders. They've been checking up on the Avatar's guests and resolving minor problems without bothering me about them. Pakku, you are wise in your years. How should I take that? Should I be grateful, or take offense?"

Minor problems. Yeah, right. "You should tell them that you are grateful for their thoughtfulness, but as king, you cannot afford to let other people snatch away your responsibilities, no matter how well intentioned. If they want to be helpful, they should check on our guests and brainstorm solutions, but they must have your input before taking action."

"A delicate balance," the king murmured. "Thank you."

Pakku nodded, turned and left. He doubted that Ola and Tarao would tell the king their suspicions at this stage. Blast it! They were probably going to move their meetings someplace even more secret, which would make it harder to spy on them. But, he reminded himself, Zuko didn't need as much protecting. Perhaps he ought to focus on finding a suitable apprentice instead?

He resolved to think about it more in the morning.

.

During his afternoon training, the water spirit trotted up to Zuko. Let me tell you about the small ones!

"Small ones?"

Yes, for the teaching.

"You mean the normal kind of spirits?"

That night, Zuko left the tunnel and gathered his courage. Why oh why had he phrased his request as an ongoing thing? Zuko wasn't sure he wanted to teach the Avatar any more than he already had. But he had promised, and he was all but incapable of breaking a promise. Why is the water spirit using me as its voice? Why does it want the Avatar to know about the other spirits so badly? Zuko was starting to realize he had gotten involved in matters far above his level. He was practically volunteering to be used as a play piece by the elemental spirits. But he realized this too late; he couldn't back out now. Like it or not, he would have to see how the game played out.

Why does everyone want to use me? It's like I'm not a person anymore.

He went to the place where he and Iroh were staying first. Kalika was already there, new scrolls in her hand. They welcomed him in.

"Not yet," Zuko said. "I'm just checking in so you know I'm alive. I've got something else to do. I'll be back later." He left before they could ask any questions. If Uncle asks me any more leading questions, I will explode. How am I going to handle him? I'll need her help. I'm so glad she didn't stop coming around just because I told her to.

He gathered his courage again, told his pounding heart to shut up, and walked into the Avatar's place. The boy was demonstrating a waterbending move for Sokka. He stopped as soon as he saw Zuko. Zuko wore a completely neutral expression on his face as he sat down. He was here only to teach. The Avatar sat down opposite him. "Today's lesson is about spirits, the normal kind that you go to the spirit world and talk to," Zuko began. He tried to recall the exact wording the water spirit had used. The whole lesson was new to him, too. "The spirit world is different from this world. In this world, every living thing is a group project between all four elements. But in the spirit world, that's not necessarily true. Spirits can be descended from one, two, three, or all four of the elements. If you can figure out which elements a spirit is descended from, it'll help you talk to them."

"How do I figure that out?" the Avatar asked.

"By paying attention to what the spirit is like," Zuko said. "We'll go through the elements like we did last time, starting with Air.

"Air is the element of freedom. It doesn't get involved or tied down. It moves around from place to place and doesn't develop any habits. A spirit descended from Air will be kind of distant. They look, but don't touch. They wander around and don't get attached to anyone or anything.

"Water is the element of perspective. Like I said yesterday, it can be everything. This means it takes everyone's viewpoint. A spirit descended from Water sees both sides of any argument, remembers the past and the future, and is very patient. They also enjoy doing things over and over." The last was Zuko's own observation.

The next part of the lesson was going to be the hardest. Zuko fought to keep his own opinions shut up in an inner box. "Fire is the element of passion," he recited. As if that explains anything it's done to me! "A spirit descended from Fire feels strong emotions like love, rage, and excitement. They might get so involved in something that they get tunnel vision and forget other perspectives exist. They do not stay at a distance. They're driven by feelings.

"Then there's Earth. Spirits descended from Earth are very stubborn. They don't move, they don't change their habits, they use the same solutions to all their problems, and they don't get new ideas. I know I just said spirits descended from Water do the same things over and over. Spirits descended from Earth don't, because in order to repeat a thing they would have to stop doing it."

"You're teaching me to use the elements to understand different personalities," the Avatar said.

"Yeah. Now let's see how it works in practice. You met a spirit once?"

The Avatar's eyes widened. "Yeah! Hei Bai, the forest spirit!"

"Tell me about him."

"We found him attacking a small town, coming down the street just as the sun set in the form of a black and white six-legged monster. He would snatch people up and take them away to the spirit world. I learned that he was the spirit of the nearby forest, which had burned down. He was just upset about his forest. I showed him an acorn and told him that the forest would grow back. He turned into a giant panda and released all the people he had taken."

Zuko nodded. "He definitely had Fire in him, since he attacked people. But the fact that he changed form to do it, and that an acorn and a few pretty words was all it took to restore his perspective, shows he had Water in him, too. There are plenty of forests, but he stayed in that one even when it burned down, so he must also be descended from Earth. Those are his elements: Fire, Water, and Earth."

"Wow! It's so simple when you say it like that!"

"How is this going to help him talk to spirits?" Sokka asked.

"I was just getting to that," Zuko said. "You did exactly the right thing, Avatar. You used a Water-based argument. If you'd tried to use an Air-based argument, like, 'It's okay, you can just move to another forest,' that wouldn't have worked because he's not descended from Air. He wouldn't have understood you. You have to match the way you talk with the elements they have in order for them to understand you."

Aang's eyes widened. "Woah. That's genius."

His wide-eyed, trusting, childlike look sent shivers up Zuko's spine. "Lesson's over," Zuko told Aa - the Avatar. He then got up and left as fast as he could, before anything happened. Outside, he gave in to a bout of shivering. He wasn't cold; rather, he felt as if he was being electrocuted. He left the area as fast as possible, arriving at his lodging out of breath.

"You look like you've been busy," Kalika remarked. Cooked strips of fresh meat sat next to the fire to stay warm.

"I don't want to talk about it. Give me some of that meat and let's go."

Zuko ate upstairs. Kalika carefully organized her scrolls while he did so. Zuko swallowed. "You'll never believe what happened today." He tore off more meat with his teeth.

"Oh? What happened?"

He swallowed the last of his food and crossed his legs, leaning forward. "This girl waited for me. She said she wanted to get to know me. One thing led to another, and before I knew it I was telling her about my life. I told her things I've never told anybody else, including you."

His heart pounded at the possibility that she would pounce upon him and ask what those things were. She did not. "Wow. It sounds like a unique experience. How did it feel?"

"Great," Zuko said. "It was incredible. I never thought anybody in the whole world could accept me the way she did. She didn't laugh or disbelieve anything I said, didn't get uncomfortable, nothing."

Kalika smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Lee!"

"But there was a catch," Zuko said. "It turned out that the reason she accepted me was because she is me."

Kalika blinked. "She is you? What do you mean by that?"

"She told me she loved me. I told her I didn't feel the same way, though I did like her for how she treated me. She said…" He looked off into the empty room. "She said, 'I thought that was how love worked. I thought if I presented myself the right way, if I made you happy enough, you would love me.'"

Kalika gave the words several seconds to finish ringing through the room. She said nothing.

"That's my relationship with my father in a nutshell," he explained.

"So she said something that was exactly what you would say."

"I looked at her, and I saw myself. Literally. I imagined a younger version of me for a second."

"How did you react?"

Zuko closed his eyes. "I told her she didn't have to try so hard to make herself lovable. She was perfect the way she was."

"Wait a second." Kalika pulled out an old scroll and checked it. "That doesn't sound like the sort of thing you would say to yourself. It sounds like what your mother would say to you."

Zuko opened his eyes. "Of course it does. There's no difference."

Kalika looked at him curiously. He explained, "Ever since Mom died, I've had to protect myself. I've had to keep myself going when others tried to knock me down. I had to do all of the things she used to do, because there was nobody left to do them for me. So I'm not surprised the things I would say to a young version of me sound like the things my mom would say."

Kalika's eyes widened. "I just got an idea."

"What is it?"

Kalika put her scroll away and returned to her normal dignified posture. "I want you to try something, Lee. Whenever you are stressed, visualize a young version of yourself. Have this young version of yourself say whatever you are saying or thinking. React to him as you would if he was standing in front of you, like you did with this girl."

Zuko frowned. "But if I do that, then I'll end up telling myself that whatever I'm doing is okay."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Almost everything I do isn't okay. I need to change. I can't let myself get away with being lazy and irresponsible."

"You need to change?" Kalika repeated. "You sound like your father now."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "That's because he's right about me. No matter what self-justifications I make up, he sees them for the excuses they are. I wish I could see myself that way. I'd be a lot more disciplined if I could."

"Huh." Kalika spent a long while writing after that. As Zuko listened to the scratching of her charcoal, he began to doubt. What was she writing down about him? Probably that I'm a weak willed child who can't function without clinging to his parents.

"I have one last question before we end this session," Kalika said. "You don't have to answer it. It's meant to get you thinking. Which of your parents do you take after?" She stood up and headed for the stairs. Zuko watched her until she disappeared, then shook himself. He went down the stairs after her.

Kalika was waving goodbye to Iroh. "I'm going to go check in with Katara," she told them. "What I said before still stands, Lee." She left.

She's not going to tell them what I've said to her in our sessions. But she is going to talk to them. Are they going to tell her the weird things I've said about spirits? Will she think I'm crazy?

"Nephew, I have something to say," Iroh began.

"I have another idea. Let's play Pai Sho instead."

Iroh did not look nearly as happy about this as he usually would have. He looked at Zuko for a few long moments. Then he sighed. "If you insist."

Zuko decided to play as a blizzard. A blizzard could surely defeat Uncle. If he went into one, nobody would be able to decide his life for him ever again.

.

A/N: The sign language that the water spirit uses was developed in the same way the characters would have developed it in-story. I had no knowledge of any existing sign language and just made up things that seemed like they could be easily deciphered as I went along. Every time the water spirit had something new to say, I made up some new sign or grammatical principle.

Now that I am taking a class on ASL, it is fascinating to see the ways that my sign language and an actual real-world one do and don't match up. Most of the signs are completely different because they use finger movements, whereas the water spirit doesn't have fingers. But one sign that isn't different is the sign for "person." If you want to say you are a certain kind of person, like a teacher, you make the sign for "teach" (which is the same as what I came up with), and then you make a sign that signifies a person. In ASL, you move your hands straight up and down, like this: l l. I was surprised to see this similarity. It makes sense because, at least on my end, the original idea was to represent some kind of distinct being, and distinctive existence is what is referred to by the word "person." But I don't think the way others do, so I wouldn't have expected anyone else to think about personhood in the same way.

If anyone wants to know more about the water spirit's sign language, let me know. I can add more description of it in scenes where it talks, maybe have Zuko explain a few of the grammatical principles. It would be a pleasure.