Carlisle had known for a long time that Jasper's alter, Jor , could be volatile and unpredictable and problematic.
But he also knew that all he did he did it to protect Jasper's happiness.
Having him neutralizing the black blood with such ease was quite amazing. The slap had been uncalled for and that little smirk had made his hairs stand on end. As if he actually enjoyed causing pain to others. Having him bringing said black blood to him and throwing it at his feet... and the stance he had taken...
It was like a dog bringing a prize to its owner. Waiting to be praised.
Then the anger had taken hold of him. His voice. His eyes. His body language in general at the sole idea of letting the black blood go. All of it screamed danger like never before. He wasn't sure when did things got out of hand, but they did.
Next thing he knows he is dropping to his knees as a wave of dizziness slams into him with the force of a nuclear explosion.
Then Jor becomes unnecessarily cruel as he yanks her hair and breaks her back.
And then he bites her throat. Black blood splashing all over the ground.
He takes her with him.
And while he should feel anger over what just happened he can't. Not when concern is eating at him.
Because he bit her . He came into contact with her blood. Black blood . And if he became infected... what was he suppose to do then? What would happen to Jasper? A black blood couldn't survive off of animal blood but Jasper wouldn't be able to survive having to go back to hunting humans.
No matter how he saw it he would lose him.
Animal blood would damage him physically.
But human blood would damage him psychologically.
He tracked him down.
And the thickness of the emotions he found could have brought down to their knees the toughest men.
Anger.
Frustration.
Confusion.
Pain.
Sadness.
More anger.
Fear .
~~~~~~~~~
Getting rid of a black blood was easier than getting rid of a common vampire. All Jasper had to do was throw her into a field where the sun shone bright.
She would be nothing but ashes after 24 hours.
He knew this for that's what Maria had once told him. If he kept testing her patience she would leave him to become ashes under the sun.
The Major hadn't said a word after deciding to push him to the front and leave him with a drained black blood. Black blood. How?
Still.
Something told him something horrible had happened. If the state of that black blood was something to go for...
He had done something horrible infront of the Cullens hadn't he?
Now he was walking without an actual clue on where he was going. All he knew is that he needed to be as far from the Cullens as possible. His breathing was becoming harder and harder to keep quiet. Harder to process at all. The air was thin and his throat was wielding a pressured heat he had never felt before.
Because The Major had tortured that nomad infront of the Cullens.
He stumbled on a branch and that's all it took for him to collapse on his knees as the weight on his shoulders became too much to bear. His chest. It was consuming him from the inside out. He sat on the back of his legs and took in a shuddering breath that did nothing for his aching chest. Vision blurring as his shoulders began shaking. The cold breeze of the forest doing nothing to cool down the burning in his throat.
He wanted Alice to hold him.
But she couldn't.
Was she mad? Disappointed? Frustrated?
He didn't knew what The Major had done but he knew it was bad. Too bad. He warned him to keep himself in line. The Cullens would never accept violence. Pain. Cruelty. They weren't from that kind of world.
But it seemed like at the end The Major had gone and done it. He should have never trusted him. He knew this would happen. But he went and tried to interact with him and give him privileges either way.
The Major was a beast that shouldn't be released.
He should have never let him meet The Cullens . Should have kept ignoring him and pushing him back.
But he didn't.
And look how things turned out.
The Major had been his savior. His best friend at some point.
But now all they had ever been good at was nothing but an inconvenience. Overreaction. Dangerous.
Not fit for this life.
And if he had to choose between The Major and the Cullens...
He didn't want to choose.
The Major saved him. He couldn't get rid of him.
He couldn't.
But he fucked it all up. Again . He fucked it all up.
But he was still his savior. He couldn't get rid of him. But he didn't want to choose. The Cullens saved him too. Alice.
But what if he had none of that now?
Why if that was the reason he was all alone now?
Would he have to go back to being alone? He didn't want to be alone. He hated loneliness.
His blood burnt like an unforgiving river of fire flowing through his veins that seized his chest with so much pain he gasped. He threw his head back to look at the sky above him and took in a shuddering breath. It took him a while but the burning decreased.
The pressure didn't subside though.
And he was left with an even more hollow feeling carved into his core. He wasn't sure for how long he stared at the swirling clouds and the leaves rustling on the trees but he was brought out of his thoughts due the sound of footsteps.
-Jasper?
Turning his head Jasper was met with the sight of a worried looking Carlisle. He was oozing such intense sadness. Symphaty. Relief. Compassion. Worry.
And while once upon a time he would have snarled and bitten at the fact that someone had the audacity to look at him like he was some kind of wounded animal right now he had no strength at all to do anything. He felt too numb to do so.
He hadn't felt such numbness since that time Maria made those newborns have their way with him.
Punishment for him letting a pregnant woman escape.
The Major didn't help for he had told him to not do it.
Emptiness. Numbness. Cold. Darkness. Loneliness.
Those feelings were as familiar to him as pain and anger were.
He didn't move as he watched Carlisle approach him and when the man came to kneel before him he couldn't help but lean forward and press his forehead against his chest. A hand coming to rest on the back of his head.
-Jasper?
-You're a good person. You accepted me even after knowin' from the background I came from. Even when Maria showed up you stood your ground so as to protec' me. You never gave me up even if I was the one messin' up.
Each word felt like a squeeze to Carlisle's heart and he had the sudden feeling that something more was looming behind wherever this was coming from. It made his chest hurt for some reason.
It gave him a bad feeling.
-Jasper what's wrong?- Carlisle asked squeezing his son's shoulders.
And the honest concern in his voice was what finished setting Jasper's chest ablaze. A heat that spread up and spilled out in the form of burning tears as the pressure in his chest became too overhelming to bear.
It was too much. Too much.
Because he was tired. So so tired of it all.
But most of it all.
He was tired of this man.
Of his morals and his pacifism.
And he hated that he couldn't even kill him. Because he had grown attached. Attached to this damn coven and this damn people that only put up with them because they had no other choice. He hated that they couldn't show a single bit of gratitude.
He fought for them and all he got was disappointment and disapproval. What did they want from him then?
It was too much.
It felt like he was drowning. Suffocating under the pressure of the universe itself. Pain. Confusion. Frustration. Loneliness. Anger. Fear.
It hurt and it wouldn't stop hurting no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.
And the arms around him did nothing but strenghten the searing pain in his chest and the tears that no matter what wouldn't stop coming. Why wouldn't they stop coming?
-It will be okay, I promise.
Those words...
He lost all control he ever had over himself as he drowned in nothing but pain and desolation.
Nothing would ever be okay.
Nothing at all.
Not as long as The Major lived within him.
And he wasn't sure for how long he cried there like a lost child nor for how long he held onto Carlisle even after the tears dried off.
All he knew is that he was left feeling twice as hollow and twice as miserable.
He truly had become weak hadn't he?
~~~~~~~~~
-Jasper what's wrong?
Of all things expected Carlisle never thought that such simple question would get a sob out of him. That single sound that grabbed Carlisle's heart and tore it out without mercy.
The anger drowning the place. The pain. The loneliness. The frustration. The desolation. The fear.
Each emotion and each sound felt like a stab to Carlisle's heart and all he could do was hug him and hope for that to be enough to sooth this pain.
A pain too deep and raw that part of Carlisle had the feeling no one had the ability to sooth let alone fix.
Not now not ever.
Maria had truly destroyed him hadn't she?
He could feel the lump at the back of his throat. Could feel his own tears beginning to prickle at the corner of his eyes as he held him closer.
-It will be okay, I promise.
Those words did nothing at all to calm him down.
If all it was as if a switch had been turned.
Whimpers that seared into Carlisle's soul. Sobs that strangled his heart.
There was so much pain in those single sounds. Such a suffocating anguish.
And Carlisle found himself hugging him closer and rubbing soft circles around his back in what he hoped could bring some comfort to this tormented soul.
He wasn't sure for how long he kneeled on the ground holding him nor how long it was after Jasper had calmed down but he never let go.
Not once.
He couldn't have let go even if he had wanted.
Not when it felt like letting go of him would break him apart once again.
The emotions in the air told him so.
~~~~~~~~~
Jasper was exhausted, drained, both physically and emotionally.
His shirt and hands were stained in black. His neck. His face.
During his walk back to the house he got Carlisle reminding him over a thousand times to be careful. Not get the black blood in his mouth. He had asked him a lot how he was feeling too.
Concerned over him getting infected.
He couldn't get infected when he had been so since the moment he was turned.
And when the house came into view Alice was out in a flash and she would have thrown her arms around him hadn't Carlisle stepped on the way.
-I'm afraid you will have to wait to touch him until after he takes a shower.- Carlisle told, the last thing he wanted right now was for Alice to expose herself too to a potential infection.
Jasper bit back the amusement as he felt Alice's indignation flare. She had been around his blood for quite a long time and she knew better than to kiss him when he had black blood on him.
But Carlisle didn't knew that.
Thus Alice stepped back sporting her best scowling face.
~~~~~~~~~
There was something about seeing Jasper covered in black blood right after the stunt his alter had pulled that felt almost unnerving.
The acid scent was intense and in a twisted way it seemed to almost fit him.
If he was deadly already as it was, Jasper as a black blood would be unstoppable, a force to reckon with.
He didn't seem bothered at all with a smell that was making them agitated.
The differences in the environment they were raised at truly contrasted greatly now.
The bloodied unperturbed scarred one and the ones who felt like bending down to that God awful smell.
Scratch that.
Alice also looked unperturbed.
In fact. She looked like a child who didn't got their way, she had tried to sneak upstairs but Carlisle of course hadn't let her.
No one was going anywhere near Jasper until he was completely clean.