Disclaimer: That '70s Show copyright The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC.

Author's Note: This story was written for the 2022 Zenmasters Anthology on tumblr.

CHAPTER FOUR
TOW-AWAY ZONE

Michael had done as Jackie demanded, introduced her to Mr. Halverson and asked if she could be hired as a model for his store. Although he thought she was, "a nice-looking girl," she wasn't tall enough for modeling and said she should consider acting instead.

Being an actress was among her dream careers, but she'd never afford college by selling cheese. Fortunately, months later Michael's potential for success was becoming evident. On the second Saturday of May, they were eating lunch together in the mall cafeteria. Their lunch breaks often coincided, and Halverson's latest catalog lay open on their small table.

Michael was heavily featured in page after page. Halverson had paid him well for it, so much that Michael bought Jackie a gift for the first time using his own money. It was a dress from Halverson's she'd told him she liked. He'd gotten it at a discount, too. The sentiment was sweet, and she'd tried on the dress at the store to make sure it fit. It did, complimenting her body in a way that both turned herself on and disgusted her.

She hadn't put on the dress since. It dangled from a hanger in the back of her closet.

"And I got invited to bring my portfolio to the Kenosha office of Moving Forward Models," Michael was saying now. "I'm gonna have to walk for them, and I was wondering if you could help me with that. Mr. Halverson said walking doesn't mean just regular walking. Hey, are you listening to me?"

She was, but she was also imagining herself on stage, singing Ophelia's last words in Shakespeare's Hamlet.

"I'm not selling cheese the rest of my life," she said. The garbage can where they'd dumped the crumbs of their lunch stood a few feet away. Their trays rested on a shelf beside it, hers beneath his.

He pointed to a picture of himself in the catalog. He had on a gray business suit and resembled a much younger, more handsome version of her dad's colleagues. "If I get an agent," he said, "you can quit selling cheese by the end of summer! You won't have to get another job either. I'll take care of you, baby."

He leaned in for a kiss, but she said, "I want to act."

"You won't have to."

"But I want to," even if she couldn't pay for lessons. She'd gotten enough practice at it anyway, pretending to be happy about Michael's burgeoning modeling career.

"Jackie, I'm not great at school, but I could be good at this." He indicated the catalog again. "Once I'm a rich and famous model, your parents'll like me, and they'll stop cutting you off from their money. We'll be double rich! And by the time we're ready to get married and have kids, we're set."

Warmth radiated inside Jackie's chest. It had felt so cold and stiff since winter. "We're getting married?"

"Not today—God, no—but someday, yeah. I love you, and you believe in me, right? I mean, you supported me when I auditioned for Red's PriceMart film and stayed at a job you hate when I couldn't get any job at all." He held the catalog in front of himself. "So will you help me learn how to walk like a model?" He gave her that smile she had difficulty refusing; he appeared so innocent and earnest. "It's not just for me, baby. It's for us."

"Yeah, Michael. I will."

She kissed him while wedding thoughts floated through her mind. Their kiss on that day would be the best of her life, followed by others even better. His lips were full of vows of devotion. He meant what he said, proven it, and her faith in him grew stronger as they made out in the cafeteria. She longed to pull him into a bathroom stall and make love.

But she stopped short of brushing her fingers through his hair. They had to get back to work, and if he showed up disheveled, he'd be in trouble with Mr. Halverson. A quickie wasn't worth risking her future with Michael.

Hyde was at the school library, skulking in the history section. June had crashed into him like an eighteen-wheeler. He had to pull up his grade in history, memorizing five-hundred facts: dates and places, important events.

Mr. Wilcox said if Hyde got an A or A-minus on the final, he'd get a B or B-minus for his overall history grade— instead of the D he was currently facing. He'd slacked off this year in that one class; so now his arms carried three thick books, with topics ranging from the Great Schism to the Vietnam War. He reached for a book on the Industrial Revolution when Kelso shouted, "Hyde!"

Hyde jumped, and all the books he'd collected fell to the floor. He'd hoped no one would catch him here, but Kelso raced down the history aisle.

"Hyde, Hyde," Kelso said, "I gotta talk to you."

Hyde, hide. That was his instinct, but he gathered the books he'd dropped. "How the hell did you find me?"

"I asked Timmy. That little dude knows everything."

"Super." Hyde brought his books to a small table beyond the end of the aisle. He pulled off his backpack and removed a stack of index cards from it. He'd be sharpening his pencil a lot this afternoon, until it was a nub. Or the size of a pot roach. He smirked at his analogy and sat at the table.

Kelso sat across from him. Damn it.

Hyde opened the book on the East-West Schism of the Churches and said, "What do you want? I'm kind of busy."

"Close your book, man. This is important. I got booked!" Kelso said with an inexplicable excitement. Hyde had been where he was, more than once, and it never gave him a thrill.

"So? You're out of the slammer. Get caught stealing gum from Schiffy's Gas-N-Go?"

"Not arrested. Booked. Moving Forward Models put me up for a national campaign with McCain Lucas Fashion—" Kelso slammed his hand on the page Hyde was reading—"and I got it!"

Hyde pried Kelso's fingers off his book, but Kelso kept on talking. "I'm gonna go all over Europe for photo shoots and runway shows this summer." He laughed loudly and high-pitched, a librarian mating call. Mrs. Hughes was sure to come straight for them. "Can you believe it? This is huge!"

Hyde wrote down his first date, place, and event on an index card. When Kelso was hired at Halverson's, Hyde hadn't believed it. He also hadn't believed when Kelso was signed to a legit modeling agency, but he'd done both. No point in not believing him now. "Congrats, man. Have fun."

Mrs. Hughes passed by the table, as Hyde predicted, but Kelso must've spotted her. He stayed quiet until she was out of sight and lowered his voice. "Thanks, but I'm here to ask you for a big favor."

"Nope." Hyde wrote a new fact on a new index card. Two down, 488 to go.

"But you haven't even heard it yet."

"I don't do favors."

"You'll do this one if you care about me."

Hyde put down his pencil and met Kelso's eyes. He'd been avoiding them to focus on studying, but Kelso was pleading wordlessly. "Shit, what is it?"

"I need you to be Jackie's boyfriend this summer."

"Are you nuts?"

"No!" Kelso whisper-shouted. "Listen, I'm not breaking up with her, but me being away for two months won't be fair. All these hot model chicks are gonna be around, and you know me."

His opened and closed the cover of Hyde's book on the Industrial Revolution. Flapped it like a bird's wing. He was clearly nervous and unhappy, the opposite of what Hyde expected, considering the news.

"I can't do a good job modeling if I gotta resist temptation the whole time." Kelso withdrew his hand from the book. "But I've got to do a good job so me and Jackie can have a future."

The fear in his voice was palpable. Kelso wasn't known for thinking beyond a few days, let alone a few minutes, but he was considering the years ahead. His commitment to Jackie had become solid.

"So I'm gonna tell her we'll be on a break those two months. She can date other people. I'll date models, and it won't technically be cheating … but I don't want her sleeping with anyone else." Kelso gestured at himself. "Are you getting me?"

"Not one damn bit." Hyde grabbed his pencil. If he'd had the authority to commit Kelso to the loony bin, he would've signed the papers there and then. Kelso's concept of devotion was solidly deluded. So Hyde returned to studying. Gleaned a date, place, and event, and prepared to write it, but Kelso covered his pile of index cards. Hyde's pencil tip broke on Kelso's hand, rendering the pencil useless without sharpening. "Great."

"This is the perfect plan, okay?" Kelso said. "When me and Jackie started dating again, she told me you two kissed last year. Really kissed, but she also said neither of you felt anything. So there's no risk of you guys falling in love or doin' it while I'm gone."

Hyde put his index cards and pencil into his backpack. He'd have to borrow the books from the library and finish studying at the Formans'.

"Would you think about it for second?" Kelso said, following him to the circulation desk.

"There's nothing to think about, man. I'm not playin' Jackie's babysitter for you."

Mrs. Hughes checked out Hyde's books, stamping their borrow-return cards with today's date. Hyde stuffed them into his backpack and left the library. That had to be the end of this nonsense, but Kelso pursued him into the school hallway. Hyde broke into a run, and Kelso chased him to the lobby.

"Hyde," Kelso said, gasping for air, "you don't like her. She doesn't like you. It'll totally work!"

Hyde shoved open the school's double doors to the parking lot. No cars surrounded his Camino. Driving out of here would be easy.

He made a beeline for the Camino and yanked the keys from his jeans pocket. Unlocked the driver-side door and tossed his backpack onto the passenger seat. He slid into the driver's seat, but Kelso stuck his head into the car before Hyde could shut the door.

"We've been like brothers since third grade," Kelso said, talking fast and breathing faster. "Our competition over Miss Hamill that year almost killed us—man, she was hot for a teacher—but we made a pact to never let another girl get between us, and Jackie's the one girl who could never get between us."

Hyde jabbed his key into the ignition. He'd drive off with the door open if he had to, but Kelso laid his fingers on Hyde's wrist. His touch was light and desperate enough to stop Hyde from turning the key.

"She's gonna be lonely, Hyde, and she doesn't do lonely real good." Kelso glanced around the parking lot like he was worried someone else might hear him. "Did you know she brought Donna to a bar after her crush on you wore off? She hit on a fireman who'd dated her mom twenty years ago!"

Hyde's white-knuckled grip on the ignition key loosened. He knew what Jackie was like when she got lonely. He'd fallen in love with her amid her last bout of heartache, when she'd used him as a distraction.

"I'm sorry, man. I can't," he said, sympathy flickering at the edges of his mind. "If you're gonna screw models all summer, Jackie's got the right to screw other guys."

Kelso withdrew from the inside Hyde's car. In front of its open door, he rubbed his back as if he were in pain: "So that's it?"

"If you don't like the deal, don't make that deal. Keep your dick in your pants, and Jackie'll keep her pants zipped."

Hyde closed the door and sped from the school parking lot. Kelso's idea was crazy. Hyde being Jackie's substitute boyfriend—she'd never go for it, go for him.

Boyfriend wasn't accurate anyway. Hyde would be a bodyguard at best, jailer at worst, protecting Jackie from assholes and middle-aged firemen. Or someone she could potentially fall in love with during Kelso's absence. That wasn't Hyde's business or responsibility, and he cranked the car radio to silence any thoughts to the contrary.