+++++ NERV Tokyo-3. Saturday, +11.

"C'mon, Rits…." Misato pouted, stamping her feet alternately to set her breasts shaking enough to distract her best friend. "I'm just asking for one night! We go get some drinks, talk about something not involving the looming destruction of humanity, head back to my place with some cheap takeout, and fall asleep when we fall asleep."

Distracted enough to lose the chain of her thought, Ritsuko sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "…Ok, ok. I'm not making any headway in this anyway." Standing up, she took off her lab coat and tossed it on the back of her chair. "Where are we going?"

"Nice little place I just heard of the other day. Ladies only, so we're not on edge all night." Happily taking Ritsuko's hands, she pulled her towards the door. "First couple rounds are on me, since I just got a huge bonus for three straight successes."

Money not being one of those things that Ritsuko ever had a real need to worry over, she gave a brief thought to insisting that she could pay for herself. The happy look on her friend's face, though, stilled her tongue. Sometimes it did feel really nice to just 'take care of' a friend for the evening.

The trip down to the car was filled with inane chatter, nothing of any gravity or import in the theme of the evening's excursion. Riding in Misato's car was spent in prayer, as was only proper considering the manner in which the Captain maneuvered her vehicle. Everything seemed to be the same old, same old, until she saw the 'nice little place'. Instead of the well-worn dives that they traditionally visited, the bar was an upstanding place in an upstanding neighborhood. "Rather outside of our normal establishment, don't you think?"

Misato shrugged, locking the car after they got out and moving towards the front door. "I thought I should probably take your advice and stop living off of cheap things all the time. Eat actual food, drink something better than rough moonshine. You know…start acting like an adult."

The door was opened by a very imposing woman with shoulders wider than both Ritsuko and Misato put together. "Well, I encourage you to continue improving. That doesn't mean giving up every vice, just enough of them that you start to appear respectable if I squint."

Laughing uproariously, Misato brought her best friend up to the bar. "Wild Turkey and Coke for me, and whatever my date for the evening prefers."

The lovely young woman behind the bar looked towards Ritsuko for her order, smiling in understanding when Ritsuko started off with a less expensive drink due to not needing to be imported, "Yamazaki single malt, thank you."

"Ooo, whisky?" Misato flipped her hair back behind her shoulder, eyeing her friend askance. "That's not your usual entry into our nights of debauchery."

"Vodka has started to give me a headache, for some reason," she deflected with a shrug. "What have you been up to, then? I've been almost all work all the time, anymore."

"Mostly car repairs." She made a face. "I'll tell you, even when you do a lot of the work yourself it's not easy keeping a good car on the road anymore."

"Which is why I don't drive, myself."

"Yes, yes, not all of us can get pampered every morning with a chauffeur."

"Less pampering, and more ensuring I'll arrive in the same configuration as I left the apartment." Tossing one thumb back towards the car, she repeated an oft used statement, "The roadways around here are not a racetrack."

Working one hand in a pantomime of speaking, Misato nodded in thanks when her drink arrived first. "People race on the roads all the time, you know. Just because I'm better at it than you are doesn't mean my driving's somehow dangerous." When Ritsuko's drink arrived, she changed the topic to something she hoped to be happier, "So really, what have you been up to? Hopefully not eighteen-hour days?"

"For the most part, that." Ritsuko carefully lifted her drink to her lips, sniffing before imbibing to ensure that everything was above board. "Unlike your division, Science has a million and a half things to do. I thought we weren't talking about work?"

"I'm trying not to," Misato grumped. "Is that all we are, anymore? NERV employees?"

"Probably."

"You haven't seen any movies or anything?"

"I watched three recently, but I doubt you've watched them."

"Try me!"

"'The Day the Earth Stood Still', 'Plan 9 from Outer Space', and 'War of the Worlds'."

"Nerd."

"I'm afraid that's not quite the insult you think it is. Are you familiar with any of them?"

"…No."

"You are already well aware of my lack of interest in your preferred genre, so that line of conversation is dead." Ritsuko took another long sip, inwardly chuckling at the realization that the most exciting thing to happen in either of their lives was the last thing they had any interest in discussing. "We should probably just accept that our lives revolve around saving the world, Misa-chan. Is he coming with her, or are they sending that red-haired terror on her own?"

"Don't know," Misato sighed out. "Man…we're not that old! How can we not have anything to talk about but work?"

"Because I spend between seventeen and eighteen hours a day seven days a week working, and the most exciting thing happening in your life revolves around enormous explosions and trying to connect with the young man responsible for them." She wasn't upset at the truth, herself. She had received a great deal of recognition for her work, and she was making headway in putting the label of 'Akagi's girl' in the dustbin where it belonged. "When I released him today, he didn't seem nearly as tense talking to you. I think you're making good progress."

Her reply was very dubious, "You think so?" Bunching her lips off to one side before knocking back the last of her drink and signaling for another, she sighed. "I hope so. I accepted taking him on this trip to try and shake off that…shitshow that was our first meeting. I want to have him see more of the world, understand that there are people he'll never meet that will praise his name because he's the hardest damn working man I've ever met. Let him know that I'm serious about helping him get where he wants to go."

"Again, you have my approbation. Not too long ago, you'd just be taking him to try and earn brownie points with the Commander."

"Yeah…." Taking her new drink in hand and downing half, she looked at the mirror on the other side of the long wooden bar they sat by. "I kinda was a huge bitch, wasn't I? Looking at people as either enemies or tools."

"You were my huge bitch, though." Reaching over and lightly massaging Misato's neck, Ritsuko gave her a warm smile. "It's good to see you growing. It helps me feel like I didn't just waste a decade or so of my life."

Slapping her own hand on Ritsuko's knee, Misato's mood recovered. "Nothing you do is a waste, Rits. You're the most put-together woman I know, and I am fortunate you're still my friend after the shit I've put you through."

"I wish that were true, but I still have some work to do myself."

"…Anything I can help with?" Both the question and her tone were asked with genuine interest. "I rely on you for those kicks in the ass I need, maybe I can do something to help?"

She'd love the help. It would get her best friend killed. "Just reminding me that there's something outside of work is help enough." Taking another long pull, she set her empty glass down. "We'll make it through, if we can keep it together."

+++++ Tokyo-3 Intercontinental. Saturday, +11.

It was late into the evening when Shinji noticed a portal opening in the area of his room that had been declared the 'safe area' for such things. Still laying on his front as Nanako carefully removed all of the undesired piercings he'd received earlier in the day, he smiled weakly at the returning quartet of women. "Is she safe?"

Both Misaki and Funaho walked over to glare imperially down at a wilting Ðandy. Minaho hurried to his side, hissing through her teeth as she saw the effort required to heal his new and different body. It was Washu that answered, sounding just as tired as he felt, "She calmed down after a while, and my other sister is keeping her somewhere that she can't damage anything important…like the Milky Way."

"Child," Funaho began in a painfully quiet voice, "We urge you to speak without any evasiveness. You have invaded a candidate world of the Juraian Empire, assaulted an Imperial Knight, and utilized a weapon banned by the Intergalactic Council. Any one of these offenses would authorize Us to take your head here and now. Combined…." She paused to let the truth weigh on her prisoner. "Speak truthfully, and perhaps We will take Our Knight's counsel into advisement."

Against what seemed to be the course of wisdom, Shinji spoke up, "She didn't attack Sig-san. She didn't even attack me. Both times I got hurt, she didn't move a muscle."

Funaho closed her eyes briefly, tilting her head down and reveling in the knowledge that the man she was protecting was one of the good ones. "You are Our Knight, dear. Sig, while a good and loyal servant, is not a Knight."

Setting her hand atop his head, Misaki's touch attempted to take the edge off of her request, "Please, be silent. We will hear from you what you wish to share, once we have done Our duty." Unlike her wife and best friend, she felt pain stab her heart as Shinji lowered his eyes and face into the bed. She knew he felt as if he had just been taken to task, but she would make it up to him later. "Speak, child. Our patience is not infinite."

"It is as he says, I did not assault him. At my father's behest, I came to offer him our assistance to make up for the errors that led him to being as he was." Ðandy, not making eye contact, was still struggling to not heal Shinji's wounds. "He requested a face-to-face meeting, and I obliged. He requested that his body be made 'not disgusting', and after correcting his perception regarding the state of his own flesh I chose to give him the health that was his true intent to prevent him from thinking that I was lying or seeking to harm him."

"Use of the System Force within the boundaries of any sentient world's sphere of influence is directly forbidden. While you might not be signatory to the Council, you will be held accountable for violating our laws while within our borders." Funaho gestured first to the mirror, then to Shinji. "Your use of the System Force led directly to physical harm; your intent does not matter. We will not release you from our custody until we have discussed reparations, penalties, and reaffirmed both parties' commitment to the Absalom Accords." Looking away, towards Sig, she issued a terse order, "Summon the Norn Ambassador. Do not ask, summon." Once the big bruiser was out of the hotel suite, Funaho relaxed slightly. "Verðandi…what was your father thinking doing this?"

"I do not know, Your Majesty," Ðandy stated honestly. "I was given this task, at His direction. I was only given the information I have already provided. I swear to you, I did not come here to ignite a war."

"Yet a war is what you might have just delivered to us all," Misaki barked out in frustration. "You had to have known that Shinji of the Ikari Clan was a sworn servant of the First Empress. It's plastered all over his spirit, I'm often surprised that even these humans he spends his day with don't sense it!"

"The System Force…I understand your frustration with the central facet of our lives, but I have no other answer to provide. The System Force flagged him as having been grievously harmed by an undetected virus. His situation, from the time he was near four years old, did not proceed as it should have. We have a responsibility-"

Funaho interrupted her with a firm gesture. "To not turn this cold war into a hot one. Your father, the System Force, whatever you wish to place the blame at the feet of, has set diplomatic efforts back centuries with this braindead stunt! We cannot hide it from the outside world, as much as we might wish to." She gestured to Shinji. "He is an incredibly visual component of their planetary defenses. The change will be noticed, which will trigger the violation of the UP3 the planet's true rulers are looking for. This one act will force us to act against Asgard, in order to prevent weaker cultures from believing they can just harm our citizenry without repercussions. All because your father is unable to admit fault when one of his unilateral ventures puts him in the wrong."

"I know that!" Ðandy slammed her fists down onto her knees, flame and anger curling in her eyes as she glared at the two Empresses. "The System Force should not…to my knowledge could not have done what it did! Tethering me to him like this is...is…it's amateurish! It is something I would have expected to be done by a probationary trainee on their first day in Academy within the training environment, not by the machine responsible for the proper function of the entire Universe."

Shinji could no longer keep his peace. "I am sorry, Ðandy-san. I shouldn't have worded my statement like that."

"But it is what you truly wanted," Ðandy countered hotly. "I am not aggrieved at having to spend time near you, Shinji. You seem, from every account I have access to, like the type of man who does his best with every situation you face. If this was where I was to end up, then I do not loathe my fate! What I am upset by, and what I am sorry for, is that what should have been by all rights a very simple mission to help you has now likely doomed countless souls to suffer the fires of war. I do not know why, or how, this has come to pass…that is what has me so angered. I am the daughter of the…of one of the most powerful beings in existence. You…." She sighed, deflating. "You wouldn't even begin to know what that means. You have spent your entire life in misery, for no better reason than some malicious code was injected onto your record. After this, nothing I can offer you could possibly make up for that."

"You could be my friend?" The honest, earnest, plea bought him time to make his case. "I would never have asked for what I did, if I knew this would happen. I spent my entire life being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I want to puke, I'm so angry that my words ripped your freedom away. It's…it's disgusting."

This time, Misaki's touch was paired with warm words, "And it is well that you recognize the truth of things." When he twisted his neck to look directly at her, she ran the backs of her fingers over his cheek. "Choices, and the freedom to make them, allow us to show the quality of our spirit to everyone appraising it. The System Force is a weapon, in that it removes that choice from everyone under the guise of protecting their souls."

"It is a bulwark against chaos," Ðandy protested. "Without it, Hell itself would corrupt all life throughout the universe!"

Shinji frowned, resting his head on the bed again and letting Misaki pet him soothingly. "You say that like chaos is always bad. If everything is supposed to happen the way it does, then what's the point in suffering? Why wouldn't it just…remove all suffering?"

"It…must reflect the nature of the creatures it protects. We are imperfect beings, and so our lives cannot be made to be perfect." It was clear she was withholding some form of insight. "You must trust me, Shinji, my father has a reason for all he does."

Funaho cocked one eyebrow archly. "Like incite a war?"

The suite's exterior door opened, and the sounds of heavy boots marched towards the door. When Shinji tried to twist himself to see who was entering, he was firmly reminded by his medic that he was only prolonging his own misery. Forced to rely on his other senses, he counted four sets of footsteps, coupled with the scent of old paper. Two sets of footsteps stopped near the door, one of the two remaining only proceeding into the room a few paces, while the other moved to stand near Misaki. Sig, the one who'd approached him, put himself where he could defend his liege without any interference.

The other man who'd entered, a voice that spoke of a combination of learned intellect and experience-derived wisdom, was clearly appalled at what he saw, "Your Majesties, I must protest the-"

"Be silent," Funaho commanded quietly. Waiting for the functionary's sputtering to abate, she pointed towards Shinji. "Do you see the shrapnel in his spine?"

"Your Majesty-"

"That is a yes or no question."

"It is impossible not to see it, when the young man is naked to the world!"

"And he has no right to be nude within the safety of his own demesne?" Misaki scowled harshly at the foreign emissary. "He is expected to be clothed at all times, just in case one of your people invades his privacy? He is expected to know that he is monitored at all times by alien beings intent upon dictating his life's actions?"

"I would presume that he would be clad in garments for decency's sake once his privacy was in the process of being violated," he responded tartly. "Her Highness does not need to be exposed to such vulgar displays."

"Her Highness entered the room without knocking, or clarifying that she would be," Sig reported dryly. "I am his doorman, Your Excellency, and I assure you I would not have allowed her in through the door." Under his breath he added, "With or without his clothes on."

"Now that we have established the presence of foreign objects where they ought not be," Funaho wrested control of the conversation back, "are you aware of how they came to be there?"

The foreign diplomat waved off the concern, "Some misadventure, most like."

"The System Force threw him into the mirror, Bragi," Ðandy responded before the questioning could continue. "I witnessed it myself." Looking towards Shinji, she saw him wince in pain at a particularly painful shard being removed. "He put words to desire, and the System Force implemented his desire without my intervention. He is suffering because I was sent here by my father to offer him recompense for an Omega Class viral mishap."

"…Your Highness," Bragi sighed out in frustration.

"No, Bragi," Ðandy snapped, "there is no 'alternate interpretation' of the events. There is no 'misunderstanding' that neatly explains everything that happened in a way to avoid my responsibility! I was sent here, I acted within the established guidelines expected of my position, and the System Force…acted completely irrationally."

There was a heavy pause, Ðandy's words settling over the room. After a long, slow, exhale Bragi asked, "Have I been summoned to convey Her Highness' body to her father, Your Majesty?"

"Only if mine goes with her," Shinji snarled. "Nobody is killing anyone over…over an honest misunderstanding!" Pushing himself upright, swatting off Misaki's attempt at stopping him, he stood upright and glared around the room. "I was the one who said that it would be nice to have people like her around me at all times. I said that specifically because I didn't know what I was doing! I thought I was dreaming, that she had the wrong person, and that I was just talking to myself in my own dreams. I thought I was just dreaming that someone nice was helping me understand what it is I want better. So because I opened my big mouth, she has to die? No. I don't accept that." His eyes landed on Misaki and Funaho. "And I refuse to be a part of any…any group that does."

"Sweetie," Nanako lightly touched his chest, drawing his eyes to her, "you're bleeding. Standing, you're doing more damage to your spine. Please, for me, lay back down."

"If I may," Bragi asked with a polite cough, "why is it you are not using your…more advanced practices?" He folded his hands together. "To maintain evidence, I presume?"

"We do not want any doubt, when this ends before the courts," Funaho intoned.

"Then, I presume my attestation before you now that Her Highness is culpable for an assault upon his person would remedy that defect?" He waited for a slow nod before snapping his fingers, causing the glass to disappear as if it were never there. "While not a remedy for the situation itself, I see no reason to inflict further suffering upon a noble soul."

Shinji slumped forward, the sudden lack of pain causing a huge swell of endorphins to bring him relief. "Thank you," he breathed out. Running the back of his hand over his eyes, he tried to think through the problem. "So, our big concern is how she changed my body, right?"

"She assaulted you," Sig replied indifferently. "Everything else is just adding troubles upon troubles, sir."

"I forgave her." Shrugging his shoulders, he started to stretch his new body to work out the last lingering memories of pain. "I don't want her punished for something that I had a part in causing. I'm talking about the…uhm…." His frown grew from the frustration of not remembering the words they'd used. "You were talking about the rulers of this planet?"

"The violation of the UP3," Funaho supplied. "The Underdeveloped Planetary Preservation Pact."

"Thank you." Smiling with gratitude to a woman he knew was already twelve steps ahead of him, he forged on, "I look different. I don't look like I should, and that is proof that someone did something to me. It's like when I broke a plate," subconsciously he ran a finger upon the familiar scar running down his side, "and then threw it away before telling him I did it. The only reason we'll get in trouble is if someone finds the broken plate in the house."

Bragi, clearly amused by the simplistic description of a far more complicated subject, asked politely, "And how would you propose we 'hide the plate', to use your example?"

Missing the subtle undertone of cynicism, Shinji looked to the new man and said without hesitation, "You take this body back." Gesturing along his torso, he saw it as the perfect 'fix'. "I can survive as I was. I can work to earn this body over time, and nobody has to know that I was interfered with."

"So, you would ask that We overlook the invasion of our territory," Misaki asked in the 'Imperial Voice', "overlook the assault upon your person, overlook the usage of an illegal weapon, and overlook the manner in which you are being forced to cohabitate with her?"

He was being asked what he wanted, and what he would have them do as sovereign rulers of an Intergalactic Empire. He was being asked, not told. "I…would greatly appreciate it if we could find a way to…uhm…keep this 'cold' war from becoming 'hot'. Please, don't make me feel responsible for so many people dying. I'm not worth millions of lives…Your Majesty."

Coughing politely once more, Bragi muttered, "It would seem you are worth far more, good sir." In a louder voice, he ventured, "Perhaps, as your man here has indicated, we might find a way to offer reparations to the Juraian Empire, as well as more thought-out reparations to the injured party? I feel confident in declaring that this was not His intent in sending His daughter here."

Directing the first half of her statement to Shinji, Funaho made one thing very clear, "We will speak of the debt this incurs at a later time." Looking to Bragi, she spoke for the Empire, "We anticipate a declaration of guilt and a generous offer of settlement will be delivered during this world's next rotation?" Receiving a deep bow in response, she dismissed the functionary with a wave. "Be safe on your travel home. We will not be sending a corpse back this day."

"Your benevolence is without question, Your Majesty," Bragi declared formally as he backed towards the door. Standing straight after three steps back, he caught Shinji's eye, "Rest in honor, Sir Knight. You have earned your peace."

Misaki sent Sig out with the rest of his team, "Nobody enters until I say otherwise."

"As you say, Your Majesty." The big man cupped Shinji's shoulder on the way past, silently adding his approbation for seeking peace instead of war. He didn't like the Norns, but he also wanted nothing to do with a full-scale war.

From her place seated on the day table, Washu blew out a long sigh. "Ok, Princess…what's the chances of you managing to undo what you've done without causing more mayhem?" The red-haired scientist had stayed silent to avoid making the issues at discussion theological in nature instead of political. "I don't think either of us want me to bring in my sister on this one, but if that's the path we have left let's get on with it."

"I would have to request that the System Force reconfigure his record at the root level." Ðandy eyed the two Empresses askance. "In order to not 'cause more mayhem', I would have to take him home."

"That will not be happening," Funaho declared firmly. Walking around the bed, she approached Shinji and pulled him into a tight embrace while ignoring the lingering trails of blood on his body. "You are a frustrating man, Shinji of the Ikari Clan," she whispered in his ear. "I am honored to know you."

Misaki took off her overcoat, setting it aside and summoning a broom and dustpan to begin cleaning up the glass. "We will mask his appearance, for now. Further modifications of his being are only going to serve to hurt him. Hurting him will end very, very poorly." With the Empress now done for the day, the woman spoke in her place. "Minaho, dear, please take our guest and Nanako to the sitting room for the evening. We will be tending to Shinji's injuries."

"I…don't think she can leave the room with me here," Shinji offered with some trepidation.

"She had best discover how to," Funaho replied, cupping his face and running her thumbs under his eyes, "unless she is voyeuristic in nature."

Getting to her feet, Ðandy scoffed, "Your Majesty, I must protest! He is as yet unmarried!"

"Hasn't stopped us before," Nanako snickered, shoving Ðandy towards the door. "C'mon. There's no way you're stuck in this room if you leave willingly."

"I will not leave while his soul is imperiled."

Funaho's tone became grim, "His soul is not your concern, Norn. He has bought you peace, do not mistake that for victory."

To say that Shinji was tired of people arguing with one another would be putting it mildly. Breaking free from Funaho's embrace gently, he walked over to where some of his clothes had been left and began to dress. "I'm going to study." He wouldn't yell. He wouldn't start swearing. He wouldn't get angry at women who had given him everything he could ever desire and more. "I owe my classmates better than to slow them down by slacking off on the weekends."

"Shinji," Funaho began, cutting off when a flash of genuine rage registered in his spirit.

Tugging a shirt over his head, he grabbed his backpack and moved out of the room without another word. He had been living in paradise, and only now that it had been ripped away from him did he realize how much it had truly meant to him.

+++++ Author's Notes:

Dragonlord001: RE: Craziness.

A story without conflict is generally boring. A story with too much conflict is a drama, or a horror. A story with just enough conflict to give the right people antagonists to bounce off of is generally a comedy. I'm aiming to keep the craziness tuned to just the right level so that Shinji isn't overwhelmed by it...but yeah, there's going to be some craziness in this conflict.

TheHiddenLettuce: RE: AMG.

Someone asked me, back when I was writing YA(N)C, if I had thought about including AMG in my storyline. I remember responding with something to the effect of wanting to make sure that I retained the NGE core for anything I write, which inherently means something much darker than AMG ever brings to the table. I was thinking at the time that a 'War in Heaven' arc might be fun, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it just didn't really seem like a Wanderer thing to do without serious provocation. He's not the kind of man to just go, "Here am I. Take me to the pearly gates so I can look you in the eye when I spit in your face." However, AMG establishes its version of heaven as the dominant force in the known universe. The goddesses literally rewrite the coding of the universe in service to a god-machine. While that might cause loggerheads, it also causes a bit of an issue if I allowed AMG to maintain that kind of firepower. When I decided on including some good old Tenchi Muyo in this story, I began to think about what could oppose the Juraians, and their hyperpowered space science nonsense. Enter AMG and the Cold War as a driver of conflict.

I know it's...uncouth, but I am genuinely proud of myself for coming up with the way I'm working these two concepts into my story. Neither side of the Cold War genuinely wishes to go 'Hot'. Neither side wishes to exist as subordinate to the other. It's both intractable and relatable, and it's a perfect analogy for what makes Shinji such a great character to expand upon.

(Also, hat tip to DJExe for somehow calling this way back at the beginning.)